The Good Life

The 2021 Christmas post

2022-04-13T19:30:00.000-05:00

(As in years past, we do not send out traditional Christmas cards. Since I have the blog, it's easier to share countless photos and stories for anyone who wishes to read it, postage free! Plus, my hope is that someday the kids will enjoy the running record of our family antics...if you regularly read the blog or look thru my facebook feed, some of this may seem familiar. Either way, enjoy!)

Merry Christmas!!! What's that you say? It's about to be Easter? Yeah.....about that. I've had this mostly done for a while (since around February-ish) but hesitated to post because I wasn't sure if it would work or be a good idea. True to form, I second guessed myself into making it even later and later but I'm finally putting out the Christmas card/blog post! Not the first time I'm late and probably won't be the last. I also just realized I hadn't posted anything for the entirety of 2021, save for the late 2020 Christmas post....some things never change! I challenged myself to do something new this year...sort of a digital scrapbook slideshow. I miss scrapbooking but realized this was a way to do it w/o all the cutting and printing of photos! This labor of love is one of the ways I celebrate the good stuff in our lives =) Here's the link! After reading each slide, click the forward arrow (>). Come back to read a little bit more here when you are done...

2021 Christmas slideshow

Alright, this is the part where I usually deliver some schtick about Christmas and the new year, but it's a little late for all that I think! So how about this - I want you to consider something for a minute. Around Christmas time we like to say that Jesus is the reason for the season. It helps remind us to not get so frantic over shopping and overdoing it. And He is! It's a great way to focus our attention on the reason we have Christmas. But what about Easter? I would like to point out that not very many people use that phrase around Easter time, when in reality, Easter is even more about Jesus in my opinion. Yes, Jesus first coming to the Earth in human form is amazing and I'm not trying to downplay that at all. But for me, Easter is so much better because I feel like it renews my faith...knowing the pain and sacrifice Jesus made for ME specifically (but also for everyone) is an even greater gift. On that note....

Happy Easter! The Lord is Risen! Hallelujah!!

Merry Christmas 2020/Happy New Year 2021

2021-01-02T11:36:00.003-06:00

I sat down to write this Christmas letter so many times. Every time I came up w/a new theme or gimmick! I hated them all. I really wasn't a fan of 2020 (who was?) but I felt determined to write a letter before the end of the year. One thing I know - there were many things that looked different this year. I got to thinking how they looked the same though...I mean, the kids keep growing, Dave keeps working...some things don't stop for a pandemic, right?! In my quest to compare and contrast life before the pandemic hit w/life after, I made a venn diagram. Yep, I'm a teacher and a nerd. I'm guessing you've all seen one of these. Maybe you'll even make one for yourself now! The words are small, but I think you can click on it to make it bigger.

After all my brainstorming of cool ways to recap our year, I settled on the storytelling method. *shrugs* If you've met me, you know I do a lot of that! Can't make a long story medium! So here is a recap of 2020 as I tell it...The first two and a half months of the year were busy!! Three kids were in DI (Destination Imagination), gearing up for the competition. Moses was in basketball, then he and Franklin started wrestling. We had a lovely late Christmas in January w/our family on the other side of the state. We celebrated my dad's birthday and the one year anniversary of his passing by tubing with that side of the family.

As practices for DI were added, I started to seriously stress out over who was going where/when...I even made a cheat sheet! The DI competition was the same day as the Solo/Ensemble music competition, both in different cities w/one kid possibly needing to be shuttled between the two...I'm not gonna lie, I lost sleep over the pending storm of scrambling! My momma heart wanted to be everywhere and the weather forecast wasn't looking favorable, not too surprising for mid March in WI. (Cue the 'something big and scary is about to happen' music!) Then there were rumbles about a virus. It got serious...and both events were canceled. At first I felt relieved, but I was sad the kids didn't get to show off their hard work! The school did organize a way for us to see 2 out of the 3 DI teams. I remember standing around after and talking w/other parents who had spring break travel plans like us. All of us felt concerned but still felt our families could safely travel and enjoy the week before the rumored lockdown. Less than a week later, school shut down. I quickly helped the kids clean out their lockers and cubbies, telling them to treat this like the last day of school before summer. "Is there food in here? Get your gym clothes too! Why do you have 3 sweatshirts in here - nevermind, just put it all in the bag!" Later, teachers met us at the door at our appointed times and handed us laptops and supplies from kids' desks. It was sort of eerie. Some teachers had masks and gloves, others just stood outside, chatting. At that point no one really knew what was going on or how long the 'lockdown' would last. On a trip to the box store, we saw a special new robotic cleaning machine roving the aisles. The kids got a kick out of it since someone had propped up a stuffed sloth in the drivers' seat! Just like in years past, we packed up our shorts and swim stuff for a spring break road trip. Unlike years past, we also packed sanitizer, antibacterial wipes and toilet paper. We had a long list of things to see on the way (Huntsville Space and Rocket Center, Civil Rights Memorial, Sloss Furnaces, etc) but really only got to do the outdoor stuff and drive by most of them. We walked the U of Alabama campus (so pretty!!!) and headed to the gulfshore house rented by some friends. We missed the Mississippi Sandhill Crane Refuge, the Ohr/O'Keefe Museum of Art and a few things while in the area, but shared a lot of laughs, games, time on the beach and in the pool w/our good friends. It was so relaxing, just what my busy and anxious self needed!! We jokingly took a family photo 6 ft apart! We took the 'baby' born during Hurricane Katrina to see the memorial,

swung through Kiln MS, saw a few lighthouses and such on the way home. We drove through New Orleans (must go back!) but didn't get out of the car. There was a lot more evidence of the severity of the virus there at that time. More than we had seen that far on the trip...The ride home was pretty sobering. I'm so grateful we were able to go, and I know we made the right decision. It felt odd going home, not sure of what we would find. The media talked a lot about no TP to be found, people hoarding food and how we should not set foot out of our house. Being on the road gave us a chance to discuss all of this w/the kids. As a family, we needed the rest the vacation afforded us and we also needed the time to process together what was going on. It's weird to say we were blessed in that way - we were bummed to miss out on so many parts of the trip, but we were blessed to have that vacation time together.

Once home, virtual school started. We set up desks and camp tables, the living room became school central for 4 students and 1 teacher. Every day we sat there and every day we saw lots of animals out the windows in our woods! The coolest thing was seeing this crane pass by on the regular, twice a day. It was like he was going off to work and coming back each afternoon. We named him Kevin, like the bird in the movie Up. We're pretty sure he and his partner had a nest just west of our property line. I literally thanked God for Kevin more than once, b/c as the momma who was losing her marbles over all the random virtual school/tech issues, I needed one thing in life to be constant and not changing. I have always loved cranes and I think God knew I needed Kevin. Yes, I'm sitting here typing about a bird in our Christmas letter. This is how random and hard 2020 was! Find the sparkle in the dirt! Just be grateful for the little things! It just so happens the sparkle for me was Kevin =) About this time we started playing a lot of board games. I kept a list of what we played (it's long) and started to hunt for inexpensive new games. A friend saw that we played Monopoly and he shares my hatred for it. He sent a big box of new to us games!! Another sanity saver. We started doing a lot of things differently around this time, like celebrating first birthdays over zoom. In the midst of all the 'new normal' (hate that word, none of it was normal!), there were plenty of things that were like in years past. I bugged Dave to shore up my garden boxes, which turned into this grand plan to give me a bigger and better garden! It always makes me laugh b/c I just want him to fix up what I have and suddenly it turns into a big ordeal! No complaints - I love this version of my garden!! And why not right? On trips to the home box stores, it appeared we weren't the only ones doing big projects due to extra time at home! We also got new outdoor kitties - there's a whole saga of getting multiple cats and them running away...the latest one is Felix. I actually googled tips on how to keep an outdoor cat around. So far the wet cat food is doing the trick!

Some of the best and biggest news to come out of this year - in June Moses graduated 8th grade!!! The school put together a video/slideshow and I cried! After subbing in the school, seeing so many of those kids' faces and getting to know them, I couldn't believe how grown they looked after not seeing them for 3 months! There was a teacher parade and they even came down our long and hard to find driveway. We ordered a yard sign and celebrated w/family. I marveled at how resilient all my kids were/are and how well they handled virtual school (after a few tweaks needed for our family to survive). At some point in the summer we ordered an everything cake. It said Happy Graduation, Anniversary, Father's Day, Birthday and there was the word covid slashed out! We didn't know if we'd be able to celebrate other things together in the future so we wanted to cover the bases! Summer in 2020 included travel and camping, just like in year's past. We spent a lot of time outside! We tubed down a river w/auntie and cousin, we hiked the IAT, we went up to northern MI, and over to Waupaca. On the Crystal River, it was decided that someone had to wait for Dad to bike back from where he parked the car. We took a vote and I was elected....which meant that all 4 kids got in kayaks and took off w/no adult. I stood there, watching them help each other, talking about how they were going to sing some song and probably beat me and Dad to the finish...they floated away and I had this moment. How did they get to be so big? "Stick together!" I hollered after they pushed off. I meant as a general rule in life, but they thought I was referring to the kayak trip. We did catch up to them and they told us of all the things they saw, the rocks they helped each other avoid and how one person needed to be turned around to get going the right way. I was proud of them and we had a lot of fun! They remembered the other times we had been, commented on how glad they were that no one had to share a kayak this time, asked for ice cream after. The familiar tradition lives on!

At the end of the summer, our church finally was ready to celebrate Easter. We had been meeting in person for a while but wanted to make a way to open up the service so a larger crowd would feel more comfortable attending. We held an outdoor service w/a spaced out picnic lunch afterwards. I joked about making this a new tradition! Another late August entry into the 'new things' column for 2020 was our participation in a black community outreach event. We linked arms w/police officers, community members of various races and city leaders to walk through the nearby city. I do not include this in our letter to 'virtue signal' or pat ourselves on the back, but I do mention it b/c of the civil and racial unrest in our nation this year. The pandemic/extra meals at home together gave us a chance to talk a lot more about these issues and I think the emotional drain we were all feeling meant that this issue really moved us. Being a transracial family, we are continually learning and working toward a better version of ourselves, our local and global community. I must admit that I don't think I would have felt compelled to join such an event or movement in years past, but given the future I wish to create for all children, it seemed fitting to participate. Going forward, we look for other opportunities to learn and grow.

As we headed into fall, the kids prepared to go back to school, wearing masks. Dave's district/school landed on the hybrid model for a return to in person learning. I was over the moon to return to my babysitting gig - nothing like an ever growing and developing toddler to take your mind off everything! We explored more than last year and she talked a lot more too. It's always nice when I hear more than my own voice all day! Speaking of new sounds, Moses had gotten a loop machine for making music for his birthday and started talking about sharing his creations, like hosting a live virtual concert. It took a few tries but we got him set up w/a youtube channel and I think about 20 people tuned in! I look forward to him hosting again! If it wasn't for the pandemic, I don't know if he'd have ever gotten a solo show =) Now he has his sights set on the bandshell in the park and a possible career in music. I love it!

As fall moved on, Dave's school/district went virtual while the kids continued in person. He did comment that his school lasted in person longer than he had predicted, so that was a pleasant surprise. Both of us are impressed, though, w/the way our tiny town has handled school and been able to stay open this whole academic year so far. Dave's school is going back to the hybrid model in less than two weeks so we are hopeful to settle into that new routine. As you can see, there were lots of new things this year, like writing snail mail, and crazy things too, like the world's largest flag ripping in half during a storm. At least it didn't fall down!! We laughed about stupid stuff, like the boat sinking, saying it was a metaphor for 2020...but despite all the changes and disappointments, this year has shown us that we can count on a few things to get us through anything: God, relationships w/family and friends, time in nature and hope for the future! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our family to yours!

From beginning to end, we hope you were able to find some sparkle in 2020!

The year of the camp table

2020-11-24T12:43:00.004-06:00

If you know our family, you know we love to camp. We have a big camper, we've taken it near and far, and I'm always looking for camping hacks. We walk or drive through campgrounds and I'm eyeing up other people's set up - do they have a camp kitchen? Is there an outdoor rug? Where did they get that gadget? Oh that's smart...we should try that. You get the idea. One of my biggest areas of research is how large families camp. There's only so much storage in a camper for food and clothes...and the picnic table provided has a limited capacity for seating. Since there's 6 of us, we're sort of on the edge of being considered a large family. But as we grow, so do our needs....you guys, my brain has always got about 57 tabs open. If given 5 minutes of time to 'research', I usually scroll things like pinterest or marketplace sites for ideas and supplies to solve problems or make things better.

But this isn't about camping.

I wish it was! We did some camping this summer and it was nice. We talked a lot about how if all the schools went virtual, we might hit the road and do school from the camper. The big guy got me all excited about being near a beach or spending lots of time outside...alas. School for our 4 kids is in person. Which is good!! I prefer that. But it's a rainy day today so yeah. Thinking about other weather.

This post - this post is about some camping tables. "But listen to yourself, you said it wasn't a camping post." I know, I know - I'm getting there! Back in early March, in case you forgot, we began hearing rumbles of this virus, right? And there was talk of school shutting down. Um....if you have a personality like mine, you were starting to get 'amped up' and your brain started spiraling and you felt like some doomsday preppper, constantly plotting in your head what you would need should the world shut down and access be cut off to...to...to...well, anything and everything! Yeah. I was doing a lot of that. We discussed homeschooling (ack, sounds of air whooshing in and out of the brown paper bag, pupils dilating, what? I can't teach, oh wait, I am a trained teacher, ack, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo, ack!!!!) and all I knew was we needed desks. Apparently everyone in the area had the same thought. I am cheap and don't want to pay for desks. Nor do I want 4 of those huge antique one room school desks either. AFter a sleepless night or 2 (and probably scouring the usual spots) I had an epiphany!! CAMP TABLES.

I busted out of my 'A Beautiful Mind' corona prep cave and searched for camp tables on the shopping site named after the forest it is most likely destroying. The best thing about camp tables is that they are smaller than card tables and they still fold up and can be stored easily! I cannot have more random furniture added to this crazy house and yet a tv tray is too small for a computer and some space to do school work. Enter the camp table. I'm over here giving myself all kinds of pats on the back!!

Last school year, the kids did 10+ weeks of school at home. Two kids were at the camp tables, two kids at the used but perfect for us small wooden desk/tables. Dave usually sat in his recliner. At the end of the year, I was so happy to put the camp tables away, happy to use them for camping instead of school and oh so very hopeful we would never use them in the house again. Of course, here we are - out of my 4 kids, we have have 5 instances of a kid being quarantined/home from school due to exposure/close contact to a positive test. And yeah, you guessed it, since Dave has been home for weeks already, that means the camp tables came back out! He's been using both of the wooden desks for teaching from an Elmo projector. All in all, I think w/4 kids in school, 5 instances in 3 months isn't too bad. (I feel bad for them though, since it means they miss out on fun stuff and extra curriculars.) I have decided that this is the year of the camp table though. I don't think I'll ever shake the connection to school at home. They will always remind me of this time. It feels weird saying that since 'this time' isn't over yet...but...I dunno. I felt like waxing poetic about it today. I am thankful for camp tables. I am thankful for this memory that is 'in progress'. May it only last a year!

Day 2 of round 2

2020-10-22T09:25:00.002-05:00

This is not a monthly recap kinda post.

Our current situation is that Dave's school has gone virtual, for the first time in this academic year.

(For context, last school year was impacted by the coronavirus. We went virtual in March and never went back. We started the school year in person - well, Dave's district/school chose the hybrid model while the kids' district was in person. It's been 7 weeks of this...w/rumors of everything shutting down again soon due to a resurgence in cases and deaths in our area.)

It's day 2 of him teaching from home.

(My fat fingers typed teachering - and now I'm laughing at that word!)

He originally was thinking he'd have to go in to his classroom during this time. A lot of his supplies and technology are in the classroom but he figured out a way to do this from home.

(Anyone remember Elmo projectors? I walk by that thing in the LR and am compelled to do the voice - "Elmo loves you! HAHA - that tickles!")

So far today, my teacher husband has checked on the students and encouraged them. I think there was a dad joke in there somewhere too. He asked about their profile pics, showed interest in their lives, chatted about how they were doing w/this.

Oh. And he taught math.

A lot of parents, myself included, have been expecting a lot out of our kids' teachers. I have said that if 'they' don't step it up this year...not gonna lie, I went through and rated the job my kids' teachers did last year. I am willing to give grace for all that though, b/c no one expected what was coming! No one was ready. This year? I admit to being a lot harsher. So far the kids haven't gone virtual but I know the teachers are preparing for it. I have said (out loud!) that I expect my kids to be engaged all day, not just given busywork assignments that take 10 minutes (or 3 hours, depending on the skill and knowledge of technology of the kid/kid and parents...!!). Some teachers last year taught class from home just like they would at school. Some did not. I am working on stepping my expectations back, just in case my kids go virtual, trying to get my mindset on some middle ground. Having the big guy home, teaching in the LR, right behind me - helps. I see all the hoops set out by admin, I see the old school tech he is jerry-rigging up to teach from home so he can be all things to all people at the same dang time, I see/hear how he cares for his students and their mental health first but their education a close second, I take note of how he feels lonely w/just me and the dog here...he misses his kids. He wonders out loud why some of them haven't been 'seen' in a while. We go for walks and talk about all this. I should say that I force him to get outside to walk the dog and me. Yes I need to be walked. We never regret the fresh air and tiny amounts of vitamin D we can glean here in the frozen tundra. I push him to take us on walks. Sort of a bass-ackward motivation, saying I'm doing it for him (I am!) but really I'm doing it for me too.

Anyway - I just wanted to document this...this stage...I wanted to say how proud I am of Dave. Not that he needs me to say that. But he's the rock of this family, keeping the boat upright and even when it dips, he's the guy handing out life vests and holding us up above the high water.

Now, just for some humor...I wonder if Dave has thought of this? Her shower is really clean...she must live alone!!

2020 Months 6-7-8

2020-10-01T12:46:00.002-05:00

I am combining these 3 summer months for various reasons. I would love to get caught up! Our summer fun options were limited/restricted thanks to the virus anyway...so since we didn't get in a lot of camping last summer, that was this summer's top goal. The challenge was accepted and achieved!!

They weren't messing around when they built these fire pits!

June - no 8th grade graduation ceremony (thumbs down) but we were able to order a yard sign to celebrate the graduate's accomplishment! We came home one day to find it had been delivered (thumbs up)! After school was out we packed up the camper and headed up north to see family. Cousins had crazy good fun and it felt good to be OUT and 'off the ranch'. And yes, the cake in the photo says "Happy Everything" - we were celebrating graduation, birthdays, anniversaries, summer, and actually finally being able to get together after a long lockdown!

The graduate and the everything cake

July - so many fireworks and festivals had been canceled (thumbs down) but the big racetrack by us hosted the largest fireworks show in the state - someone said all the nearby counties pooled their money to make it the best (BIG THUMBS UP)! It was the longest show I've seen - except maybe the Disney one - but seriously, my kids were thrilled to stay up (I've not really allowed much of that) and by the end of it they were yawning...then it was back up north for more family time! We went tubing, relaxed and ate well. We extended this trip too...Back when we were first married, Dave took me to the Lake of the Clouds. He raved all about it and hyped it up a lot!! We got there and it was so foggy, you could barely see your hand. Well - twenty plus years later we all got up there on a gorgeous day to see the spectacular view!

So pretty!

Next we dipped our toes in the almost-always-freezing Lake Superior to find that it was luke warm!!! If we had allotted more time, I would have gone swimming in it. Me. The always cold person would have gone swimming in Lake Superior. Seriously. It was warm!!

From one great lake to the next, we came home and swam in our lake w/friends who were camping in our yard. Again, had lots of fun and ate well! Then, the last 2 days of July were...unexpected...

We headed west to be w/family, tugging the boat behind us. (Cue ominous music...)

Before.....

The ol' boat was all prepped and ready for some Mississippi River exploring with family. Had a great first day out...

We were eating breakfast the next morning when a marina employee called to say the boat had sunk. ??? (record scratch noise!) ALL the thumbs in the world were down for that one!! No evidence as to why. A crane on a barge was hired to get it up from the bottom. Engine not salvageable but otherwise appearing in perfect condition. I was like, "2020 strikes again!"

....After...or should it say during?

Ah well, I love telling stories so it makes for a good story right? Ok maybe not good, but interesting, intriguing and unique. We spent the rest of the days w/family playing minute to win it games and eating food. Also a theme of the summer. My weight loss from the beginning of the year has been found! I'm back in my Polish pear shape!

August - I had the crazy idea to put all 3 boys in one room*, which meant measuring, moving furniture, adding a rod for hanging clothes above dressers on one wall, and that led to us wanting to get new carpet in the room we had just emptied. That led to us thinking about the crummy carpet in the hall. And down the stairs. So why not replace it all? A project we hadn't thought of doing yet, but it seemed logical at the time! We also cheered at a Milkmen baseball game, camped some more, kayaked on the Crystal River and ate ice cream. Get ready to be move jealous - we celebrated Eastgus! (Easter in August, for those that don't follow my linguistic gymnastics.) I made that word up but it's 2020 - lots of things are made up! I think of it sort of like Christmas in July. Maybe it's a new holiday we should add to our calendar? The kids wouldn't complain about eating fancy brunch, dying eggs and singing Up From the Grave on any given Sunday, so why not? We also added a few cloth face coverings to our collection since the plan was to go back to school, in person, 5 days a week, wearing a mask or 2 each day. Family and friends made some for us, I found some on etsy, a lady in a nearby burg (aka a sewing wizard who works on the largest flag in the world nearby) sells masks from her porch stand, some local girls were making them and donating the money to the Children's Hospital...and so on. We now have a varied collection. The goal was that each person would take 2 every day - so they could switch to a clean dry one at lunch. I have no idea if that's recommended practices, I just thought it would be good to have a fresh one half way through the day. It seems like a lot of masks, but then when they are all 'dirty', it seems like a lot to wash! (Side note - anyone else feel a weird connection to their grandma or ancestor/family member who used to wash nylons in the tub every night, hanging them to dry while she slept? I stand there washing, rinsing and hanging and I feel like a classy 40s housewife or maybe like a pioneer woman who only has 2 decent frocks. It's a strange sensation. Please say yes you have those feelings too - I know I'm an odd duck in many ways, but surely you thought of that too?! I digress...)

Overall, the summer was pretty normal. Not long enough, yet full of good food and family. We didn't tackle any new house projects, really, aside from the carpet. We didn't go on any large, epic vacations. I think we were sort of mentally exhausted from they way the school year ended. But as I do every change of season, I have started mentally making a list for fall. There is no doubt in my mind that the rest of this year will contain a few more bumps and let downs, but my mind keeps churning out ways to take those lemons and make something - anything! - out of them!

Stopping to see the sunflower fields...not my fault if it was next to a creamery that sold ice cream...

*Crazy ideas are usually byproducts of my restless, anxiety filled nights. This is no exception. For the record, the room the boys are in is the exact same size as the 'master' in this house. Right now the empty room is the music room. I love hearing Moses create music in there!! He has the loop station, keyboard, drums, and mic set up. But...there is also room for 2 more beds in there. I'm just saying. And much like 22 years ago, Dave is listening. So...yeah. We'll see where this goes. Maybe I'm trying to push back on 2020 and write our own chapter of crazy!

Just hit preview on this post and realized I did not follow the Do-Read-Learn-Be template I wanted to keep for the year of 2020. Let's count this whole post as the Do portion, shall we? I'm not gonna like, I didn't do much reading, but I am matriculating my way through Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria. As for learning, again, not much. Um...I learned about how to pull a boat up from the bottom of a marina? Go ahead and laugh, I did! I learned that I miss my family. I learned that so many people are resilient and 'tough cookies', but that even still, checking on them is important. Over the summer months, I focused on accepting and processing. I tried to take it one day at a time (so hard for me!!) and not get worked up about what was coming (the uncertainty of school starting). I'm not good at that but it's a practice I tried to cultivate over the summer. I think it turned out okay, because here we are - ready for fall!

2020 - Month 5

2020-08-15T15:35:00.002-05:00

I'm getting caught up people!

The month of May found us with new hairstyles...

...big plans...

...and new housemates!!

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to cut Moses' hair! I knew my hair was getting long too, but I tested to see if it would work in a ponytail. NOPE. So I tried pigtails! Is 40+ too old for that hairstyle? No need to answer, I decided it is! I couldn't resist taking a silly pic of it though! Mo's hair turned out ok. He wants it long these days but it needed a trim. How do beauticians cut hair while having both the comb and scissors in their hand?? "Hold this", I kept saying. "Gimme that." Then, "Hold this." We laughed!! Funny story - well, I have to back up a bit for it to make sense. (Are you surprised that I am not writing this in a 'straight line'? I love telling stories but chronology and continuity are foreign concepts to me!) Well! We had just adopted a mama cat and 2 kittens a few days before. In trying to give mama some water and food in her cage, she bolted. I felt terrible. She ran in the woods so fast!! The next day we were on the deck, cutting Moses' hair and I heard the mama!! She ran right across the deck, only a few feet from us! So we set the babies outside, trying to see if she'd come back to feed them. After 3 chilly nights and her only coming to sniff them, we decided to bring them in for good. We had been bottle feeding them during the day but I didn't want to leave them outside in freezing temps. Anyway - we still hear a cat in the woods every now and then!! The cats are outside now, so who knows?! Maybe they'll meet up w/their mama when they get bigger and go hunting!

The 'big plans' were many and varied. We had started the goal of hiking all of the Ice Age Trail awhile ago, but as the weather got better this month, we thought we could step it up and get more done than predicted for this year! Thanks quarantine! Other plans we thought we could tackle were things like major home renovation and major yard updates. The first one we tackled was a garden update! I used to have a handful of square garden boxes that we moved here from our old house. The wood was rotting in many places and we had already busted up 2-3 in years past. I wanted to gain some of that growing space back and get the wood shored up or replaced. Dave had other ideas! We started planning something using cinder blocks...I pushed back. Do you know how heavy those things are?? Yeah, they don't rot, but who is lifting all of those?? The girl w/the bad shoulder would be of no help in that situation!! In the end, corrugated steel roofing panels in a wood frame won out. So far so good!!! I've got lots of plants in, but in true Mel fashion I have found that I switched out pumpkins and watermelon and put them in the wrong place. So we'll see if we get some frankenmelons or goofy gourds!

Oh man, I just realized that I should have put that all into my fancy pants DO - READ - LEARN - BE thing....and here I am just stream of consciousness/storytelling babbling...hold on...I'll fix it...

DO - We have been raising kitties, building mega swingsets, drying wild ramps, hiking the IAT, playing games while it rained and rained and rained and rained enough to raise the lake level the highest it's EVER been in recorded history, and building out a new garden.

READ - this month I read a chapter book out loud to the whole family at meal times. (I'm a teacher and storyteller, stuff like that is my jam!). The book I read was Out of My Mind by Sharon M Draper. I will not spoil it but seriously. click the link, go read the description. There's even a plot twist they don't mention! I CRIED while reading it!! You will too, I don't care who you are or how emotionally even keeled you are. It was insanely good. It's probably a lower middle school level book, but when even the 8th grader was begging me to read the next chapter, I knew it was good. So even though this wasn't specifically a book I read for me, I still believe I am better for reading it.

LEARN - I learned a lot about raising baby kitties!! Did you know that they cannot relieve themselves without help until a certain age? Yeah, Dave got that job! Also this month, we learned a lot about people's political viewpoints, without even asking them. (Snark, yes, sometimes I lay it on thicker than others.) Honestly, between the racial tensions and opinions about the virus, there was suddenly a lot of vocal people around me. I tried hard to listen and be respectful. Both issues of race and the virus affect me obviously, especially when it comes to my family and school. I know I don't agree w/every person in my 'bubble'...and sometimes people think I fit into a certain category that I might not. I may not shout the loudest (IMO that's not respectful or worth it - it hasn't changed anyone's mind in my experience) nor may I fight every battle in front of me (I just can't...), but I am passionate about certain things and I will continue to learn from various sides and sources.

BE - I think this month I focused on being busy or occupied. I mean, I struggled being stuck at home so much. Having new kitties, reading to the fam, making a few new meals, the garden etc...it was sort of like a restart button, trying to distract myself and think about something 'new' so as not to get dragged further down by the circumstances. I also think I was ready to be DONE w/school and move onto summer plans! I know I wasn't alone in that!

2020 Months 3 and 4 (they were sort of a blur anyway!)

2020-05-27T15:06:00.001-05:00

Dear blog I haphazardly write in....Thanks for receiving all my rants about online school. I'm sorry I have mistreated you! You are not my therapist! No one is, at the moment, but maybe I should say everyone that gets the pleasure of my company these days is sort of my therapist! I have been so lucky to see friends here and there lately - I always feel bad, like I'm talking their ear off....anyway, I'm getting a few minutes to write here now so I thought I'd try to get caught up. My goal this year was to use the Do, Read, Learn and Be prompts each month. Welp! I missed months 3 and 4. I probably would have missed some along the way in a 'normal' year but surprise! Sequestration has messed w/me. I'm fighting back though by posting it - better late than never.

DO: March - In the 2 weeks before school went online there was wrestling and life was really starting to get busy. Two boys on the middle school team, their younger brother having practices too. At the same time, there were extra DI practices. DI regionals were scheduled for March 14 and I was starting to wonder how I was going to keep track of everything, keep people fed and get them to the right place at the right time. I was stressing. And then...DI was canceled. Three days later school was called off. I went from one frying pan to the other - all my stress shifted...A few months earlier, we had planned out a spring break trip to the south, the Gulf Coast, during the last week of March, leaving on the 20th. We prayed, fretted and probably sweated a little once the whole virus thing blew up. We were not sure we were still going to go, even up to until the week before. However, we made the decision to go forward with our plans. We shared a beach house w/my best friend and his family. It was insanely relaxing!! That was a great way to rest up before the 'storm' that was going on in our lives when we got back home. So yeah, I guess March was eventful...April on the other hand...Real talk - mostly we did a lot of online school and laundry. I think I already posted about hiking in the IAT and other little things that happened. Happy little things!

READ: More real talk - I didn't pick up my book once in April. I probably read for a few minutes on Spring Break. I just picked it up again the other day but that wasn't in months 3 or 4. The lockdown hasn't helped - the library extended the due dates for all their materials! I didn't feel the rush to turn it in - HA! I did buy another book though, that I hope to read soon.

LEARN: Oof. I learned a lot of new technology...there are so many educational platforms out there and I feel like I have sampled them all. Can't wait to cancel my subscriptions! The coolest thing I have learned about is the way they help each other. "Yeah, uh, sorry kid I have no idea how this program works..." (Cue some other kid volunteering to teach me how to do it...)

BE: Pretty sure I spent most of months 3 and 4 being crabby. I can't lie about it - I was sullen, depressed and frustrated. I sulked. I felt lousy. I knew I needed to get up each day and attempt to start school on a good note, but I didn't want to face a bunch of screens and try to interpret the assignments. Don't get me wrong, the teachers are rocking this. I'm not. I have an amazing husband who often would get the day started all while being on a meet or zoom. I finally figured out a routine that worked for all of us though! Those months were hard for so many reasons. We're past that now...so I promise I will 'be' something different in the next month!

Sequestered 2020: It's not all bad, weekend update

2020-04-06T19:16:00.002-05:00

It occurred to me that my poor blog has become a place I simply rant about the stupidity of online school, where I am to deliver a cobbled together curriculum I have not created. I promise all my posts on the sequestered theme will not be about that! So - today! I wanted to come here and point out things that fall into the category of 'it's not all bad'. I will cultivate my optimistic side (do I have one? *looks under arm, tries to see back in mirror*)...let's see if that part of me grows! I also miss the photos, so there will be some of that too!

IAT badge

First of all - we are doing some laughing here. We like each other =) It's nice to spend evenings playing ball together in the yard, talking at all the meals and being silly together. This weekend was amazing - no technology and no screens!

We will!!

Yesterday we hiked over 6 miles on the IAT. I'm out of shape!! But it felt oh so good to out, doing what we would normally do on a spring weekend! Not only that, but I think I forgot about all the quarantine stuff for a few hours.

Tired puppy after a long hike!

The teenager and I hate online school!!

We bought stamps and have already written a few notes to people. On Saturday we participated in a worldwide/online 'jump around' party...(For those of you that don't know about this tradition... read about it here! Dave and I were at the game where the tradition started.) Anyway, today is another day of distance learning from home and I needed to find a way to make the day fun. It would have been the NCAA men's basketball championship tonight. According to the BPI, the Badgers would have won! I saw championship t-shirts for sale and laughed! This is the time we are living in...things are happening virtually, in theory, and we're making shirts like we always do! I might buy one, but for today, I am pretending that they would have played Duke (my favorite!) and the Devils would have been underdogs, so I put my #32 jersey on and decided to cheer for the underdogs.

She's still tired today!

We've been playing a bunch of games in sequestration too. I've been keeping a list! We might need to borrow some games from friends to change it up when we get sick of our usual ones. So far there's been a lot of Catan since we just picked up some different versions. No complaints! I set up the board randomly so it's always different. With the new versions we've been trying out some different board setups for Seafarers. WHOA - it's been interesting! We even did the one where the tiles are added after you reach that part of the board, sort of a mystery board. Good stuff! See, I can put out a non-ranting post! Tomorrow is national coffee cake day so I am planning a bakery visit. You should too.

Sequestered 2020: online school AGAIN

2020-03-31T21:47:00.002-05:00

Here it is people! The second installment about online school! I know you are all waiting with bated breath (what a weird phrase*) to hear how today went. Well, you're in luck because wonders never cease and I am not too tired to hop on here and tell you the tale...
Yesterday was a dumpster fire. Today that fire smoldered. It was still there, but it died down. A little. There was a gamut of emotions today. For example, Dave had to leave the room to join a meeting while we soldiered on in the living room/school room central. Five minutes later we were treated to a symphony of shouts, shrill shrieks, screams, squeals and squawks**. No I am not exaggerating!!! Apparently internet/technology was amuck/amok (you choose!) and so was Dave. I offered to help but...I wound up laughing and giggling uncontrollably from the other room. I'm sorry, babe, but seeing you spit hot words of anger is so rare - I forget what that looks like/sounds like!! Other emotions to make an appearance today were things like overwhelmed, ambivalence, anger, joy, and um....poutyness? Is that a word? Spell check says no. Sullenness? You get it, I'm sure you do b/c all of you are stuck at home too. See that's why I'm writing this. I need something to do that I like that maybe just maybe will makes us feel a little more connected. People, send me a letter. Email me. Call. Video chat if that's your thing. I am pretty much a people person and this is ridiculous. My days are going to be marked by a feeling of helplessness...I'm trying not to think of it in such a depressing manner, but I can't help my kids w/everything, I can't help my hubby w/the stupid internet and I can't help other people I love since I am stuck here!!! But - I can try to stay connected....right now I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day for 'me' time or time to stay connected but I think it will get better. I hope to schedule some time - I have a friend who literally makes appointments to talk to people. I need to do that. An appointment would help b/c then I wouldn't just say "let's do it" and forget but really do it! Ok, this story about our day got off the track there, but that's ok. There probably is no track now. Whenever something seems off or out of the ordinary let's just yell CORONAVIRUS! I got off track. CORONAVIRUS! I used to say 'squirrel' as a way to explain my ADD tendencies, but hey, we're blaming the virus for a lot right now, so why not? Ok, back to the story. We borrowed another friend's daughter's school lunch gimmick at the end of the day today. It's called pits and peaks. We went around the table and said one pit (low point of day) and one peak (high point of day). I started crying when Mo told his peak. He said it was looking out the window while doing school and seeing the sun and how it moved through the clouds and all the nature outside. *gulp* First - I busted butt to get an area of school set up. I chose to put it by the big windows b/c if it were me, stuck staring at a screen in the same room when I had been used to going around different parts of school, I would want to be by a window. I loved my college classes where I could sit by a window. I am an outside girl. I love nature and I love our property out here. I picked that for them b/c I hoped it would make them feel like they were part of the outside even when they were in. It made me feel good that Mo liked it and that I actually did something that helped someone! On the other hand though, it made me feel bad that this is happening to my kids. I wish I could take it all away!!! Sure, skip school, go play, that's better for all of us anyway....only we can't. There's this list of work for your classes...ARG - I have said it more than once - Mom doesn't want to do this either. At least we get to be together. We had a few more laughs tonight when we played a family game - Franklin was overreacting when he started to lose, well, maybe he didn't feel like it was overreacting! He made these faces....we all got the giggles...then Dad kept missing a turn b/c the direction was changed right before it got to him, so he started to over-exaggerate and overreact! This felt like a really really long day but overall it was a good one. Not all kids got all their work done but I am over it. We're doing the best we can. At one point during the day I ran out to get supplies for a craft. I need to do something each day for me. I get so mad and emotional about the difficulty of all of this. My brain gets stuck and if I don't shift gears...well, I don't know but I'd rather not find out. So - we're going to make a snuffle mat for the dog! And maybe some Easter crafts. More on that in another post - that will probably be more interesting than my rant of the day! Hopefully you read all this and it was like a hug from me, b/c I miss those too!!

*Side note that it is not spelled 'baited' as I had previously and erroneously thought. Bated breath is a phrase that means to hold one's breath due to suspense, trepidation or fear. Bated breath is a phrase first mentioned in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. The word bated is an abbreviation of the word abated, meaning to lessen in severity or amount. The more you know...

**How is it that I spelled that word 'sqwuak'? I have been spending waaaaay too much time sounding out words w/my kids!! Can I just go back to my babysitting job?? Please?? I miss baby talk, patty cake and cheering when a tower is knocked over. Seriously. Brain. FRIED. It will get easier though! We get a bunch more chances to practice this whole school at home thing! TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY!!

Sequestered 2020:school at home/online day 1

2020-03-30T16:23:00.002-05:00

(I wrote this last night...)
Nothing like disappearing for a week, right? I didn't write because we were on spring break. I attempted to relax and calm myself before what I would like to label as the storm. Tomorrow we begin school...here...online...if you know me, you know I don't home school. You know, that even though I am a trained teacher, I have zero desire to teach my children at home. I love them and I randomly teach them many things here and there, but a structured, actually-counts-for-DPI kind of thing is not my style. Nevertheless, here we are and many parents are in the same boat as me! We've set up all the desks, we've charged the myriad of devices, we've put each kid's books, folders, binders, etc at their spot! We're ready!
(Today...)
Welp! Pride goes before the fall! I was soooooooo noooooottttt readyyyyyy. I didn't even know how not ready I was!!!!! Online school today was pretty much a dumpster fire. Rolling down a hill. Crashing into an art exhibit or something. I dunno. I'm shaking my head vehemently as I type this. First of all - the teachers are kick butt awesome!! They have all these emails and assignments and cool tech things for my kids. THEY (teachers) were ready. I logged in to the first kid's stuff and there were videos and tutorials and I attempted to set that child up. On to the next. Same, only this kid likes to click around and push buttons during a 10 minute video, so I had to sit there and prevent that. Third kid kept trying to mess w/their background on the home screen, not necessary, just get back into your classroom and do the task!! Another child started up a video chat and didn't know how to hear the teacher but kept taking headphones on and off, yelling, all while the final child was attempting to use talk to text but kept getting the sibling's words in their document. Make sense? Yeah me neither. I tried to watch all the videos too so I could understand just what we are doing. I think I've got it now but in the meantime I have no idea what everyone did today!!! Oy vey! We muddled through half of what we should have done. TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER. There is nowhere to go but UP!!!!! A lot of my kids' work requires input or assistance from me, to be sure they are staying on that task or understanding what to do. There are 4 of them and 1 of me. As a classroom teacher, there are usually around 30 kids, but they are mostly all on the same task. This is 4 diff. grade levels, 75% of this class has special needs, and I am a few years behind in the tech. FUN! I know I am not alone in this, so many people I know are working from home AND trying to get their kid/s to do school too. YOU ARE ALL SAINTS. Tomorrow is a new day.

In other news - my daffodils are coming up. It's too wet to 'rescue' them from the leaves but hopefully I will get to do that soon. I was happy to find some fresh veggies at the store today. We have been set on supplies for a while now, but I was starting to fret when I saw how empty the produce section was at the store last time. Don't come between me and my morning smoothies! The new furniture that we received before we break is working out very well. I hope to find a rug soon. We are all healthy. Aside from me feeling overwhelmed by school responisibilities today, I am so glad to be w/my people. We start and end the day w/snuggles and there is always music. Every person in this family is very musical. I do play instruments but don't sing - the rest of the crew does. Oh I sing, I mean I love to sing, but it's not good. They are all really good singers though and it does my heart good to hear them! On that note, I think it's time for me to blast some music and dance it out. That's probably the best way for me to end the day!!

Sequestered 2020: part 2

2020-03-18T22:32:00.001-05:00

Today’s news....it snowed!! Spring break (the original one) is days away and it snowed. This is not out of the ordinary for WI, but it just felt weirder to me today. We had new furniture delivered, so that was exciting! The kids did well playing legos together. I had a chiro appointment. I’ve decided to try and blog each day if possible. I feel like if we don’t remember at least something about these days, they’ll blend together. Today we also started a few things that will be crucial to our morning and evening routines. Baby steps to the new normal!

Sequestered 2020 part 1

2020-03-18T09:26:00.001-05:00

School was supposed to be in session Monday and Tuesday...today is Tuesday. It was called off before the day was over yesterday. So we went for a walk at Kohler Andrae State Park, ate ice cream (drive thru) from Culvers for St Patrick’s Day and then stopped by school to pick up more supplies.

The teachers have informed us that ‘school’ doesn’t start until the 30th. Until that time we are able to play, create and use our minds in many other ways! Mostly we are reassuring the kids and helping them relax. There’s a ‘new normal’ coming since the governor just announced that school is suspended indefinitely. There is a time for everything under the sun, and this is the time for bonding and setting the tone for our ‘home team’ to work together for awhile. Adoptive and foster families don’t operate the same way other families do...if we jump too fast and push them too hard, it will not end well. It is more important that our children have relationship skills and life skills than book skills. So here we are. Making a list of ‘yes’ activities! Yes, you can go get muddy and build a fort in the woods! Yes, you can haul out the art supplies! Yes you can try to cook that! All this uncertainty will pass - it’s a large task to keep anxieties at bay and our attitudes in check at the moment, but this is what will get us through.

Sequestered 2020: the Intro

2020-03-16T10:44:00.000-05:00

(Written yesterday...)
One of the old definitions of to sequester is to commit to safe keeping a person or item. To quarantine someone or something means to keep isolated due to illness. We are not under quarantine, since no one is sick but now that school is called off, I consider us to be sequestered! This is history in the making, in my opinion, so being the story teller that I am, I thought it would be interesting to document some of our thoughts and activities to look back on some day.
Quick back story, over the past month or so, much of the world has been dealing with the spread of COVID-19, better known as the CORONAVIRUS. As a nation, the U.S. watched as little by little, it spread through contact and reached us. This past week there was much speculation about whether or not towns near us (WI) would take action and begin canceling things...well they did. The governor announced the closure of all public and private schools from Mar 16-Apr 6. Some districts had already closed, some even through the 13th. It’s the weekend and that means we have school Mon and Tues before this long break. Unless of course they cancel that too!
So far we have not joined the panic hoarders, but we did go grocery shopping. We’re trying to plan for spring break so there were some things we needed. Guys, the veggies were gone!! I walked into empty shelves...all I wanted was 2 zukes!! Meat was empty, no bread - hope you kids like bagels! It was eerie. I keep our fridge and freezer pretty full since 4 kids eat a lot, so I’m not too worried.
The other weird thing about this is planning for schoolwork. The kids can do some stuff online, but our internet is spotty, so we’ll see how that goes. Dave went to school today to try and get some things set up for his students. He’s not locked out yet! We joked that if he couldn’t get in, it would be a sure sign that we’re not doing the next 2 days of school. As of this writing, there are 3 cases in our county. School is on for tomorrow, life will be normalish for 2 days...and then? We roll with whatever comes!

2020 - month 2

2020-03-06T19:10:00.004-06:00

Lightning has struck twice!! I'm actually taking a few minutes to blog about February...

Do - February has not been very exciting...I’ve been playing in the snow, re-arranging furniture and trying to keep up with the chores! Dave has parent teacher conferences tonight and ACT testing soon. We wrapped up the basketball season with Moses and all 3 boys started the wrestling season. Destination Imagination practices are in full swing! Colleen is a magician in their skit and they have a machine that will shuffle cards. She really can't shuffle cards! It sounds like a joke in the skit, that a successful magician can't shuffle, but their idea was born out of something real. Franklin's team chose an improvisational challenge and we are all looking forward to seeing how it turns out. Ezra will be playing a principal in his skit! He was very proud to tell his principal that he is dressing like him for the part.

Read - this month I read Come Rain or Come Shine: a White Parent’s Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children. Truth is, I skimmed some of it. A few of the beginning parts were about adopting an infant, meeting with birth mothers and things like that. I think the book focuses more on private adoptions, so the premise was a little ‘off’ for what I was looking for. That being said, each chapter has an amazing list of resources, not just for adopting black children but anyone of a different race, a lot of which I found useful! I am thinking of compiling those into one big list and working my way through. Transracial adoption has been on my mind for a long time. Over the years we have had kids of various races in our family through foster care but in adopting, these are not just passing issues or thoughts. I have an amazon list of books similar to this...I'm happy to share this book w/anyone who is interested!

Learn - I learned Proverbs 25:28 this month! It was pretty easy, mostly b/c I had already attempted to learn this one in the past. I also learned many things about owls from Colleen. That girl soaks up all new learning and loves to share it!! Moses initiated a discussion about what would happen if the president died while in office. We looked up the succession process and discussed how usually the Prez and VP are not in the same place together. All that led us to look up things about what happened when Reagan was shot. Did you know that there were some VPs who were acting presidents for a few hours at a time, like when the presidents were in surgery? I never thought about it and although it seems like random Jeopardy trivia, it was an interesting discussion about stuff I never knew. Another thing I have been trying is stitching elastic into waistbands. So does that mean I'm learning to hand sew? Not really!!! I literally am taking a stab at trying to make clothes work for us instead of buying new or paying a tailor. It's hard to find stuff for people w/little waists!! I have a machine and have watched videos, but...so far the 3 I have tried are working.

Be - this month I focused on staying involved. Spring seems to be a time when the kids are busy but I don't do much for myself. So I signed up to do nursery at church - my favorite! The kids' behavior is sketchy during worship so I never felt comfortable leaving them w/o an adult in the row. We're at the point where I think they are getting better - I took one of them w/me to statistically cut down on the incidents. I also attended women's game night. I usually talk myself out of those - for being and ESFP, I get anxious a lot and second guess myself...it's a bad habit! Those ladies are my friends and they don't care if I dress fancy or whatever! It was fun and I need to remember to stay involved in things for myself.

And now....

***that's just what we say when we are ready to move on w/o much comment. I'm equal parts proud of myself that I have completed 2 months of this, and still wary that I will stick with it the whole year. Moses is a big Patriots fan and that's Coach Bill Belichek. For you non-sports fans, you should know that he's not a very good interview, he always seems uncomfortable talking to the press and he generally does not smile. He comes off as a grumpy troll who wants to tell everyone to get off his lawn! This comment was in response to the media pestering him after a tough loss. He repeated the phrase a few times...it has become our family's go to line when we are trying to move on! We have a couple of them we love - "We talkin' bout practice", "Playoffs?", "I'm just here so I won't get fined", and "Don't you EVER talk about me!" I love that we share these jokes between us! And I miss football. It's almost time for March Madness which holds me over for a while. GO DUKE!!!

2020 - month 1

2020-02-06T12:25:00.002-06:00

I'm trying a new thing this year - like always, I may fail to complete it each month, but it never hurts to try, right?

Each month I plan to post a summary of sorts. The goal is to write at least once a month, more if possible. I'm hoping to use this loose writing prompt - Do, Read, Learn, Be....Either what we are currently doing or like a recap of what we did since the last posting.

DO - This month we put away the Christmas decorations, celebrated my Dad's birthday, watched Moses' basketball games, tackled some laundry and played in the little snow we got. Colleen had a stress test so we were at the hospital for a long day. I had some mini adventures with Baby Mercedes and we actually got some projects done around here! (Goodbye large piece of furniture that wasn't working, hello organizing and dipping my toe into interior decorating!) I had a blue streak that I kicked to the curb by sledding, talking to some friends (never enough time for that!), changing my eating habits and getting a massage. I had a pity party one day and felt like I sucked at everything. Then I asked friends to tell me about their wins so I could celebrate w/them...which led to a new perspective - I've got wins too - even if they are small. Some of that is what led me to write a little today. Most of you know that my life can be challenging and my personality sometimes gets in the way - but I'm a work in progress and if being honest about 'the suck' helps push past it, we should do more of it. I don't want to sit around counting the Ls I've taken for more time than necessary. I want to keep writing here and celebrating all the aspects that make our family who we are. It's a good life, even when we have bad days, we are together and the story of us is worth telling. The 3 younger kids are all doing Destination Imagination this year, so they are busy practicing and preparing for the competition in March. Dave has been helping fix up things around the house, picking up the Mercedes toys I leave out and recently he and Moses went to a men's conference together.

READ - You guys - I read a book!!! Not b/c I needed to learn about one of my kids' disorders or how to discipline or a bible study or what not...a book I picked out. A book I would have highlighted the heck out of, had I owned it. The author put into words feelings I have had for a while and I am realizing my kids are probably having too. Normal sucks. That title is a phrase I have uttered a lot. I don't want to be normal if it means I am not me. This book challenges me - I always feel like differences in brain function are roadblocks and I should work on my brain function to make it more like so and so's, why did God make me so different from them, why can't they be normal, etc...what is normal anyway and who gets to decide?? The 'abnormal' parts of my brain are what make me good at being a nurturer and a mother, who cares if I screw up every recipe I try to follow? For my kids this means I look forward to seeing how their brain develops and how they use their superpowers (aka what the rest of the world labels as deficiencies or disorders) for good! The kids are reading lots of thing for school - Moses chooses sci-fi/dystopian types of novels in his free time, Colleen is working through Ivy and Bean, while Ezra reads beginning chapter books. Franklin grumbles about the picture books I choose but once he starts, he is able to read new books cold! What I mean by that is that he hasn't seen them before...in case you haven't heard that idiom before, although the outdoor temps are cold here, that's not what I mean. Most of the books he brings home from school, they have already practiced. It's pretty impressive that he's come so far!! The look on his face when he finishes a new one is priceless!! Dave is reading a bunch of Bible study books and all the answers his students write on their math tests.

LEARN - I am sure I have learned a lot this month, but mostly I want to say that I cooked some new things and I am learning a Bible verse by memory. If you like ham sammies, try this! If you'd like a different take on chili, try this - I even made it in the instant pot. As for the Bible verse, I challenged the kids to see if they could beat me at memorizing Eph 4:29. My app will only let me practice it in the KJV until I pay, which I probably will, but for now I think I've got it! I have heard the kids practicing so I think I might actually know their version better, but either way. Soon I'll have to start looking for a new verse for us to learn. I have heard a lot about the things the kids are learning - about concentration camps in WWII, about carp in the Great Lakes, about how to make a carnival game using a table saw, about cursive...it's never enough to hear what they are learning. We are also learning about the impeachment process, caucuses, how to spell caucuses, and what a referendum is (but not necessarily how best to end this sentence!).

BE - I've been concentrating on being more calm. If you know me, you know I can be loud, passionate and I'm not usually calm. I'm more of all over the map and up in arms about something. But in attempting to be calm...I think I've pulled it off for most of the month, save for at least two outbursts during the worst week. I lost it on a kid and I had a pity party/meltdown, separate occasions, but don't kid yourself, they were related in the emotional sense. I also am trying to take my self care seriously, so I guess you could say I am being selfish but for good reason. Naps happened this month. Not ashamed to say that my mental health is better for it!! As for the others, Moses was being active by playing on the basketball team for the first time. Colleen has been more social and the boys are trying to be patient and respectful. (It's a long time until wrestling starts!)

Round 1 of Do, Read, Learn and Be is done! Talk in the house has turned to spring break and summer plans. It's always a fun time planning and plotting. More on that next time!

Merry Christmas 2019 - emoji style!

2019-12-25T15:59:00.000-06:00

(Once again, we are not sending Christmas cards out in the traditional way - see the end of this post for more on that...We hope you enjoy this online version! If you regularly read my blog or see my Facebook posts, some of these stories will sound familiar...buckle up - it's a long one!)
When I thought of writing this year's Christmas post, I really wanted to do something out of the box and special. I kept trying to think of something polished and fancy to present the big emotions I experienced this year. I finally quit lying to myself and decided that emotions are not scary and hey, you probably have them too, so why not just use emojis for our Christmas letter?! They can be annoying, I know, but hopefully you'll smile at the ones I've used and it will connect w/you in a different way. I didn't want to write 'that was bittersweet' after everything, even though it's pretty much true. When you miss someone who has passed, grief is like the shadow that is there for a while. "Weren't you happy, wasn't that fun?" Yes, we were, yes it was, but remember that something can be both happy and sad at the same time. 🎭 You've seen the masks, right? Now that I've set the stage😉, please enjoy our year in review.
🌳📸 2019 got off to a rough start, as I mentioned in the (late) 2018 Christmas post. My Dad passed away in February...the silver lining in things like funerals is that you get to be with a lot of family and friends to celebrate someone who meant a lot to you. I selected the tree emoji to represent my roots/family tree/heritage, but also for the branches that remind me how so many others support us and lift us up, especially as we continue to grieve. Another one of the silver linings for me was going through photos from my childhood - y'all know how I love photos!! (Again, see last year's Christmas post part 1...)
🤼‍♂️Spring of 2019 saw us busy w/various activities. Moses and Franklin had lots of gymnastics meets, Colleen participated in Destination Imagination, all 3 boys were involved in wrestling and Moses did Forensics again! Ask me how many pounds of snacks I packed, how many bleachers we sat on, how many photos I took....it's a big number!! I'm a happy and proud momma when I see my kids having fun, cheering their teammates on and trying new things.
🏰 Speaking of spring...this was a special year so we splurged on a special spring break vacation! TO A CASTLE!!! No one cried or had a bad day b/c it is THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!! It was a lot of fun and we have my aunt and uncle to thank for helping us pull it off. I still can't believe we did it...it always seemed like a really big ask, financially and emotionally for our crew. I'm so glad we did it - it reminded me of when my parents took us kids. We rode my Dad's favorite ride and I sang "Yo Ho Yo Ho, a Pirate's life for me!" at the top of my lungs, just for him.

And then...
-------SOMETHING BIG HAPPENED HERE-----
------BUT I AM SAVING IT FOR LAST------so...movin' right along...
🌱In May, some friends of my parents organized a tree planting at a park they enjoyed in honor of my Dad. All the grandkids were so excited to help, pulling burlap off the root balls of these trees and scooping dirt in the hole! I haven't been back yet, but I can't wait to camp in that park and visit Dad's trees!

⚾🤸🏿‍♂️ Late spring brought baseball and more gymnastics into our lives. Three boys in baseball plus an unusually rainy season meant a lot of makeup games jammed in between the regularly scheduled ones...which led to me purchasing a new lawn chair! If I have to sit in it, my fanny should fit in it! 🤪 We really enjoyed getting to know a lot of families through baseball and Moses' team was quite successful, playing in the post season.
🎡♎ (closest thing to an arch I could find!) Over Memorial Day weekend we took a road trip to St. Louis. We had 2 specific things in mind - the arch and The City Museum. There really needs to be more emojis for The City Museum! If you have been, you know what I mean. If you have not, GET YOURSELF TO ST. LOUIS and check it out!! Start by visiting their website and then go. Seriously. We have been there multiple times and every time I struggle w/the cost but I always see the fun my family has and I never regret it. This time I was confident enough that Moses remembered the tunnels and such that I just let him go. He was able to show the other kids a lot of cool things! I am not much for the climbing these days but Dave's sense of adventure means he might get stuck in a tube while I take photos for posterity!

🏅🏕️ In June, Franklin and Moses participated in the YMCA gymnastics Nationals!! They were held in Wisconsin Dells this year, making it cost effective for us to attend. We picked a camping spot and played tourist in the off times. We took a Dells boat ride, watched the teams march in before the Tommy Bartlett Show, made s'mores and rested up for the tournament. It was a neat experience to see teams from all over the country enjoying the Dells and all it has to offer. Then in July Colleen attended her first sleep away camp...It's called Camp Daniel and it's a very special camp for people with disabilities. Her friend from school invited her. She actually wrote me a letter to invite Colleen, which made me happy cry for all sorts of reasons! It was a blessing to know that her friend would be there the same week. After the week was over, Colleen commented on how their were other kids who had some of the same struggles as her participating in the camp. I think it made her feel more confident! You can imagine all the emotions I had tumbling about w/one of my children out of my reach for a week, but then seeing how this camp made her feel emotionally sort of made me put mine in check. It was worth it, though, and that's what matters.
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦⛰️🥾🏇🏾🚞 We kicked off August with a huge family reunion weekend - how many cousins and 2nd cousins can fit in a hammock?

There were games, good foods, photos shared by one of my aunties and hugs and tears and so much laughter!! By the end of the weekend, I was exhausted! Since there's no tired like on the road tired, we followed the weekend up w/a trip to Colorado! Once again we stayed at the YMCA of the Rockies. We did lots of activities there like horseback riding, playing sports, fishing and hiking. (The rain did not stop us! Everyone made fun of me since I bought dollar store ponchos to wear while on Disney's water rides. I was the only one who wore one on those rides. On this trip everyone suddenly wanted my ponchos!! Lucky for them, Mom doesn't unpack little things like ponchos!🤣) We also hiked up Mt Evans and rode the Royal Gorge breakfast train through the mountains - I got the tastiest quinoa pancakes!

🚼🍼🏈As the summer came to a close, the talk of the house was about 2 things - me babysitting a friend's baby part time during the school year and flag football. I get the pleasure of baby Mercedes' company (not her real name!) three days a week. Do you know how cool babies are? I could talk your ear off about that, you already know....the best part of this deal is seeing this family develop and cheering them on. Knowing Mercedes' parents means we see how they are invested in her and what character traits they are modeling. It's different than foster care for a lot of reasons, obviously, but the same in that you can never go wrong in encouraging a family!
🛠️🚽🤝 Fall - a perfect time to remodel the bathroom we never really intended to remodel...🤷🏻 We discovered the main sink we use in the bathroom had a leak, which led to a wet cabinet underneath. Not just wet, soaked, moldy and disintegrating!!! It was bad. It needed immediate attention. Dave is handy but he felt it was a bit above his paygrade and he didn't have time to dedicate to the project to get it done quickly enough. Lucky for us, a friend from church was available! He put in new counter, new pipes, new cabinets...and then Dave decided we needed a new toilet. It seemed like a coincidence that some friends were trying to sell theirs on FB marketplace! So we bought that and our friend from church installed that too. We feel like grownups now, having our first major interior house project done. We also bought a new piece of furniture to store our board/card game collection and dipped our toes into some interior decorating. Starting to look a little better around here! Some day - we'll tackle that kitchen!!
🦡🏈 You guys!!! They have a Badger emoji! He's so cute! This was the first year we took all of the kids to a major sporting event. Dave and I had our first date to a Badger game almost exactly 20 years earlier, the opponent was the same and history was made both nights. (1999 - when the Jump Around tradition started and 2019 - longest field goal.) We were excited to share the experience w/Dave's mom, who is an alumni! Many times we have taken the kids to see the band as they pump everyone up before a game and then we would leave campus. The kids were always sad that everyone else got to go in to the stadium and we only saw the band. Not this time! We made a pit stop to add more layers and were in our seats before kickoff. 😊 We had fun jumping around, seeing Moses on the jumbotron (his teachers even saw him from somewhere in the stadium!), and shaking hands w/players afterward. I call this a huge win for our family - the kids are maturing, finding ways to regulate themselves in these situations and communicating w/us so much better. (When you're wearing a million layers and there's a line to go pee, you need to give the grown ups a little lead time on bathroom breaks, you know what I mean?) This was another event that left my heart feeling a mess of emotions - happy memories of life before kids, happy new memories made, a few tears for not being able to tell my Dad about the great day, a little anxiety over how it would turn out, etc. It was definitely another one of those times I just hung on for the ride!
🏀🧠As we close out 2019, the kids have begun 2 new activities. Moses joined the 8th grade basketball team. The other night he made his first shot ever! So fun to see the kids try new things. Colleen, Franklin and Ezra are all in Destination Imagination this year. It is Colleen's second year and the boys' first. DI is really neat in that it's like teams competing, using their brains on instant challenges and are judged on skits they present, showing how they solve a specific problem. I'm learning a lot as a helper for Franklin's team. I can't wait to see what all the kids' teams are cooking up for the tournament in spring!

Now, I cannot finish this letter w/o mentioning possibly the most emotional event of the year...
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(Don't ya just hate cliffhangers?)
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♾️📜💕🎉🥂🎂🥳🎊 I had to resist putting ALLLLLLLL the emojis for this one!! There was another HUGE event in spring...OUR ADOPTION BECAME FINAL!!! We are now FOREVER family (to infinity and beyond!), with papers to prove it...We were so blessed to share the day w/family and party w/family and friends the day after. Our hearts were so full and I felt like my face was going to crack from smiling so big!! From now on, Bert and Ernie shall be known as their true names, Franklin and Ezra!

Ezra in white and Franklin in blue

These dapper dudes bring us such joy...they have waited so long to be part of a forever family. There were many stutter steps along the way. People promised them things and did not deliver. Their trust was broken more than once. People left their lives at an alarming rate. It was not ok. They were not ok. They are still recovering from all of that junk and then some. Make no mistake, finalizing adoption does not mean they suddenly live the happiest of lives. Every day we all work together as a family to build bonds that LORD WILLING will some day be viewed as unbreakable, unchanging, and unshakeable. But to be able to go into a court house and have someone validate what we are working towards is priceless. A gavel banged and no one can tell us we do not belong together. We are family!

❤️❤️From our family to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!❤️❤️

❤️Here's to building strong relationships, friendships, and families in 2020!!❤️

We hope you enjoyed this green version of our Christmas card! (If you still wish to receive a paper copy, leave a comment.) There are lots of reasons we decided to do things differently this year (again!)...here's a few:

1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!

2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??

3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!

4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...

5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.

6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity!

7) It went so well the past years...we heard a lot of positive responses, and even some people who said they'd try it themselves. Welcome to the dark (green) side! (Sorry that was a goofy Star Wars joke...)

Adoption party details!!

2019-04-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

Dear family and friends,
The invitation you received just didn't have enough room to say all the things I had hoped to say! You know I like to talk a lot so....yeah...I thought of putting a separate paper in the envelope, but it was actually Dave's idea to put it here. This way the info shared might actually help others too.
Not everyone has experience w/adoption and not everyone fully understands the complexities of it. That's understandable but we hope to help everyone better understand some of the emotions and expectations for our celebration. Please keep in mind that this is NOT a criticism of anyone or anything that has happened in the past. If you find, after reading this, that you have said or done something that may have not been ideal - it's forgiven! We are not easily offended, and if we were, we would have told you. We are all about teaching people new ways to handle what may be new-to-you situations.
First of all, we are SUPER excited for adoption day!! We like to call it family forever day too, but not gotcha day (long story for another time...) One thing we'd like everyone to keep in mind, though, is that for the boys, finalizing adoption actually brings up conflicting feelings. They're happy, yes, but at the same time there is a sense of grief. It's like a door is closed on their birth family - the possibility of them getting back together is officially dead. For some kids, the fantasy of their birth family being complete and together is hard to give up. It's difficult to understand why they can't live w/someone, no matter the circumstances. Also, at times adoption can trigger feelings and perceptions of not being wanted by a birth parent or the whole birth family. So while the rest of us only see or feel the happy parts, the kids are processing a bubbling pot of emotions of sorts. Others have explained this better than me - please click the link and read an article by the Boston Post Adoption Resources. All this to say, if the boys don't seem as happy as we or you are at the party, don't take it personally. It's best to show up, join in the games and not make too big a deal out of it if they aren't 100% smiles the whole time.
The next thing we like to bring up is the language of adoption. I think by now most people know not to say 'real mom' for birth mom. If you catch yourself saying 'real mom', fix it quick! You get a re-do! The language of adoption is easy to learn =) Many times people say other things and their intentions are well-meaning. For example..."They (the kids) are so lucky to have you (the adoptive parents)!" Most kids who have come through the foster care system are anything but lucky. They have suffered trauma, loss, and a whole lot of other hurtful stuff. Granted, their circumstances are better upon adoption, but I'd hardly call that lucky. Also, let's give a little credit to the social workers who have pored over files to find a match for children who suffered such trauma and loss! It was not luck or random coincidence that they found a family who seemed prepared and ready for the challenge. (Shout out to Tammi Kohlman, Cathleen Cotter, Megan Pena, Jesse Schuller-Hosking and Michelle Neal!) Ultimately, we feel that it is God who has orchestrated and planned our family better than any one person or team of people could have ever done. Anyway, there are lots of comments that come across as 'wrong' to an adoptive family but for the most part we understand it's just b/c the person who said it doesn't know better (YET!). The best thing you can say to a foster or adoptive family is this: "You have a beautiful family". =) For a few other 'what not to say, say this instead' type of lists, you can click HERE, HERE, or HERE.
Alright, what else? The invite says NO GIFTS and WE MEAN IT. Most of our family parties are no gift parties - it's honestly easier that way. We are there to celebrate family, not stress people out about bringing a physical token of their love. There are so many other ways you can support us as a family and show us your love! Chances are, if you are on the guest list, you are praying for us, supporting us, and loving on us in some way already! Thank you for that!! We cannot wait to make memories w/everyone at the party! We have some cool games to play w/both grown ups and kids in mind! Please don't forget your entry to the art show - make sure you autograph it too. We're hoping to put the entries together as a guest book of sorts! There will be a spot for family photos as well and we hope you'll join us in using it! AHHH!!! I'm wishing I could fast forward to the party right now - we are so blessed by all of you and can't wait to share the day w/you! See you then!!

Merry Christmas 2018 (part 2)/New Year (Ready or not, here it comes!)

2019-02-24T15:08:00.002-06:00

The year 2018 was full one! I feel like it was more than one year shoved into one. We made some treasured memories and certainly had our share of emotional ups and downs. I think I've been avoiding writing about it...which is probably why I wrote part 1 of our Christmas post a little differently than in past years. This part is nothing fancy though - just a simple year in review!

January - we added a member to our family! I'm a sucker for dogs and for years would show Dave puppies or dogs on rescue sites and he'd say, "Get it." I was the one who listed the reasons why we shouldn't get a dog. Finally I found one that was PERFECT for us, I actually applied and we were approved, they drove her up here from Memphis and ta-da! We're dog owners!
February - Gymnastics was in full swing for Moses and Bert but Moses also tried something new this month. Forensics! For those of you not familiar w/it, it's basically a public speaking competition. Most of my 7 readers probably knew me and already knew that though - I was in Forensics growing up. Moses did a group category and joined some girls in putting on a short skit. They traveled to other schools for competition and at the end of the season, performed for friends and family.
March - this month brought another first for Moses. He joined the wrestling team! And - get this - my loud mouth cheering style wasn't out of place in the stands!! I have always been the girl who enjoyed football, hockey, basketball...now we're all learning about wrestling. It was a tough season, being his first, but his face when he won his first match was PRICELESS. He knows that winning isn't what makes us proud, but the fact that he exhibited signs of progress and persevered at something he found difficult. We also were very proud of him for cheering on his teammates and being encouraging to all. In fact, one of the other parents commented on how much they thought highly of our son for that. Considering that we are still relatively new here, that's a pretty good impression to be making!
April - the weather started to turn this month and we began again towards Dave's goal of hiking all segments of the Ice Age Trail. This time w/a dog! She is a great hiker and explorer, super friendly to anyone we meet on the trail and LOVES sniffing every darn thing. We are making progress and hope to continue this year.
May - as I'm typing this, I realize there were a lot of firsts this past year. For the first time since I can remember, this was the first year we didn't really plan a big summer road trip. Why am I mentioning that in May, you are thinking...? Because May is when baseball started. I have 3 boys. All on different teams. Which means 3 diff. practice schedules, 3 diff. game schedules, 3 diff. uniforms to wash...but also 3 super excited boys!! It rained a lot in the beginning, so a number of things were canceled. After a particularly wet week, we got the notice that the fields were finally dry and games were ON. I relayed the message to my boys and they huddled up, dancing, singing, cheering!! I caught it on camera and they love watching that video!! Another first in May was that my sweet girl Colleen had her middle school intro night. We checked out her classes, practiced opening a locker and tested out band instruments. She tried a euphonium/tuba, a trombone and a trumpet, choosing the trumpet!!
June - we had a visit from Nana and Dave's sister's family. It's such a joy to see how the cousins are best buddies - it reminds me of growing up w/my cousins. It's a real blessing when your family is made up of some people you would choose as friends anyway =) June brought more baseball, of course, but all 3 boys gained more confidence and understanding of the game too. We also met up w/some special family at Titletown for some fun and games! WOWEE ZOWEE is that a neat place!!
July - We finally got to some good camping and boating in our great state and the boys competed in my hometown's Dirty Ninja Mud Run again. It officially felt like summer and we did our best to enjoy every minute of it!
August - Back in the day...Dave and I used to rent little cottages on a lake and vacation that way...before campers, before kids...it was nice to have a kitchen and nothing to set up. He suggested that kind of vacation again, since the camper floor was needing repair and 4 kids - need we say more? I worried about the price but he found a little lake house nearby. It was an excellent choice!! The kids loved the paddle boat, kayak, stand up paddle boards, etc...We spent a lot of time on the water!! My fishergirl sat on a paddle board while her brothers paddled her around...the dog hung out on the deck (she's still scared of water!) and even got rides on the kayak once in a while. We boated out to swim and played games on the deck while watching the sun set. As we were there, I stumbled on someone w/barn cats (we were in the market since Peyton cat had disappeared months after moving in w/us) and it turned out the woman lived near the lake house!! We packed up and picked up a kitten on the way home. (I think we are the only goofballs who do stuff like this, maybe I'm wrong, but oh the stories my kids can tell!) After much discussion, the new kitty was named Bucky due to the stripes on his head and our loyalty to the state in which we live. Homer cat didn't quite take to Bucky at first but the two are fun playmates now! And the best part is that Bucky and the dog are growing up together, so they are definitely buddies too! A second trip to Titletown was made in August as we attended family night hosted by THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD. If you live here, there's a line in your baby book that says '1st visit to Lambeau Field'. Now all my children have that line filled in =)
September - I stood up in my cousin's wedding. She is one of my best friends and I have never seen this girl so happy!! It was a beautiful day and a the location was gorgeous. There were lots of fancy good looking people getting their photos taken at sunset and lots of laughs later w/family and friends. Speaking of photos - we had family photos taken by a friend! I haven't shared them yet - we're waiting on another big event to do so, but there's one w/a chicken, cat and dog in it! That's how we roll!
October - another great month to go hiking on the IAT. Not too cold, not too hot...lots of leaves to admire. We started talking about spring break and the possibility of a big trip. Usually by the end of summer, we start getting the itch to plan future travel, so this was a little late for us. I found tickets for $102 to our destination of choice but hesitated to but them. I wanted to sleep on it and be SURE that was a commitment we were ready to make. I'm guessing you know the end of this story - they were much higher next time! So we had lots of alternate plans we cooked up...which meant some late nights talking about vacations =) Our favorite topic!
November - One of the best parts of November is of course Thanksgiving but also participating in the Christmas parade w/church! This year the kids got to ride on the trailer! They took their job pretty seriously. Last year Bert was not a fan of the dark but this year he knew what to expect and enjoyed it a lot more.
December - This is always a chaotic month but this year the weather was very unusual. It was warmer and there was barely any snow! For a snow lover like me, that's unfortunate. We did get a chance to go west to visit family who had but it wasn't the same. Still, we made gingerbread houses, painted a Christmas village, ate good food and watched various Christmas programs. The dog got a bath! First bath ever! She has been dumped in the lake and what not in the past, but never officially washed. She did pretty good, considering she hates water! We had to wait until Jan 1 to go on our annual Christmas walk in the woods, but it was worth it. We started the new year in the best way...

Now we're two months into 2019 and it's been a heavy year already. When I started writing this post, my Dad was suffering from the effects of amyloidosis. His heart was struggling and mine was breaking. I tried to write some of this post while visiting him in hospice, but when I went back and read it, I realized my brain was on auto pilot. He has since passed, and I have returned to edit this post. To be honest, right now I feel a strong dislike for this year - I can't even imagine writing the next Christmas post...I love my Dad and I've always been Daddy's girl. None of this is easy. And to be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to put anything in the Christmas posts about this b/c I thought it would drag everyone down. I don't like that. I like throwing humor around and getting people to lighten up. But this is our real life, and not every Christmas letter is 100% cheer-filled with rainbows and anecdotes about our perfect family. On the flip side, the joy of being with my kids and the hope of things to come keep me afloat. We've recently celebrated another wedding, there's 2 babies on the way, spring break is a̶l̶l̶ *mostly* planned and we have 1 step left before adoption day! The fact that I have all these good things from the past year to reflect on and then some tough stuff too is an accurate depiction of our world right now. Friends, I pray this next year includes hope and joy for you! I am sure your life is not w/o struggles but please know that you are not on this road alone. Let me know if you want to chat - we can share our joys and struggles! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
PS - I'm sorry that this year's post didn't include many photos. I don't feel like chasing them down...I had every intention of tossing in a couple, but w/my Dad's passing, I don't think that will happen for a while. I have some modest goals for my blog this year...beginning w/posting more often! I already have 3 posts this year which means I have tied the number of times I posted last year - winning! It's only the end of Feb and I've already made great progress on achieving my goal!

Merry Christmas 2018 (part 1)

2019-02-24T14:58:00.002-06:00

(Once again, we are not sending Christmas cards out in the traditional way - see the end of this post for more on that...We hope you enjoy this online version! If you know the story of Dave and Mel, some of this might sound familiar. Either way - buckle up - it's a long one!)
To our children - Since your Dad and I have spent half of our lives together building our own family (apart from the wonderful ones we came from) and since I'm a sentimental sap!, this year's Christmas post is going to be a little different. We are about to make Bert and Ernie's adoption official (FINALLY!!!)...I feel like every time something large like this happens in our family, it causes me to look back at how we arrived at this point. Consider this a personal history of how your family began and changed over the years!

Our First Christmas (Dating)

The first Christmas photo of your mom and Dad! All fresh faced and carefree! We had been dating about 3 months but that didn't stop us from joining each other's family Christmas celebrations. We spent time in Madison too, where your Uncle Carl lived. We took some goofy photos in the state capitol building but this is a pretty nice shot. Would you believe that we already had a conversation about marriage at this point? If you knew us then, you would have believed it!! Once, I told Dad that I wanted 13 kids and he didn't get scared off. That was when I knew he was perfect for me!!

Our Second Christmas Together (Newlyweds)

If you're thinking, geez louise, that was fast - YEP! Just after Christmas of '98 we got engaged and then married in the following summer! It just so happened that we were both in school, needing to do some credits in a Spanish speaking country. Right after Christmas we hopped on a plane and moved in w/our host mom. Someone else stole the camera and snuck this pic of us - ay yi yi!! Look at that hair!!! It's hard to believe that was us...but I actually appreciated finding this photo - I take a lot of pics but I'm only IN a few of them.

Our Third Christmas Together

Christmas that year felt like a double celebration! I got a job right out of school too, that was icing on the cake! It was one of my favorite times - lots of memories that are precious to me. It was also a time of change - thinking of moving again, finding a place to put down some roots. It was easy to think about moving during this stage of life since it was just us two!

Our Fourth Christmas Together

HA! Yes I did just put those side by side - see the theme? Another double celebration! And more hair!! At this point we had moved for my job and Dad's student teaching, so the future was a little less open ended.

Our Fifth Christmas Together (First as homeowners)

This was a sweet Christmas - IN A HOUSE!!! THAT WE BOUGHT!!! W/help, of course...oh man, I'm telling you, Christmas in a house was a learning curve! We brought the real tree inside while it was wrapped, so when we went to remove it, it didn't fit through the door! I never laughed so hard...I have photos of your Dad using a saw to cut branches off inside the living room!!

Our Sixth Christmas Together

By this point, we had found a great group of friends at church and one sneaky little lady asked us if we would be in a Christmas musical with the kids. She told each of us couples that the others had already said yes and pressured us into doing it too! (I'm telling it like it is, the others can testify to this!) When we each heard the others had said yes (they hadn't yet), we said yes ourselves and lo and behold, she had all the adult parts filled! We had to dress up and dance (I still can't Charleston!), practice our parts, and perform in front of the whole church!! It was fantastic fun and we miss that group TERRIBLY and FIERCELY. No regrets. Grateful for the memories and so glad that woman conned us all!!

Our Seventh Christmas

Well, I couldn't find a photo for 2004, please forgive me! In fact, I couldn't find many from that year at all?? Odd. But I think it was that weird phase where we stopped printing from film cameras and started using digital cameras (or maybe our first cell phone camera?). At any rate, they didn't print up so well and I have no idea if they are saved somewhere...*shrugs* - I plan to investigate further but in the interests of getting this post up sooner - let's just move on!

Our Eighth Christmas Together For the first time - we shared our Christmas w/someone new!! There is no joy quite like baby's first Christmas, am I right? Mo, you're wearing the Santa suit Dad wore when he was a month old! It was a lot of fun taking you to the mall and getting your photo done! Little did we know how much our joy would increase each Christmas to come w/kids.

Our Ninth Christmas Together

I'm also lacking a photo from the next year - our 9th Christmas. I found one pic of 'the baby' drooling while wearing a Rudolf hat, but it was clear he was teething and not a great shot. On to the next!

Our Tenth Christmas Together

I absolutely love this pic. We fixed up 2 rooms in preparation for foster children to join our family. Auntie Becky's parents had some extra furniture and bedding and blessed us by passing it on. We needed to put together a book showing potential future kids what our house looked like, what we looked like, and what we like to do. We were so excited!!! Mo, you kept asking when your brothers were going to come (didn't really ask for sisters, I wonder why?) and we just waited for the phone to ring.

Our Eleventh Christmas Together (First as Foster Parents)

Ta-da! And just like that we were a family of 4! Having 2 boys pretty close in age was fun. There were times I'd dress you in matching motorcycle shirts or let you use drumsticks on coffee cans...then we'd be out in the yard playing w/all kinds of balls and Mo would pull the little guy in the sled. You both loved dancing around during music time at church and testing out the piano keys. There were twice as many presents under the tree that year and our hearts were definitely full!

Our Twelfth Christmas Together

Oh my word. You guys!! When I stumbled onto these pictures I nearly cried...happy tears!! In the August before this year, we met our sweet girl. You were so small!! I think in part due to your tube/medical need, I didn't really have it all together that year. Fancy Christmas pics were not a priority! This one is from a trip to a museum where we all crammed in a large human powered fan or something. Baby girl, you didn't get the point of selfies, but look at those cheeks! I remember how you would toddle after Mo, calling his name in your baby talk, trying to keep up in your foot braces. It seems so far away and yet so easy to remember, how can that be?

Our Thirteenth Christmas Together

These special photos bring back memories! We took them after the kids' Christmas program at church. I'll never forget it b/c at one point Mo discovered they were projecting the program on the big screen behind the kids, so he got excited and started clowning around to see himself! Colleen, you just talked, laughed and were pretty oblivious to everything else. I'm sure you sang a little but it was so cute to see you up there w/your peers! Shortly after this Christmas our adoption became final and we officially/legally became parents to you 2 kids forever!

Our Fourteenth Christmas Together

Two sweet kids joined our family for this Christmas - the girl is almost the exact same age as Colleen and suddenly I needed to learn how to do girl hair! We had experienced 4 kids in the house before, but it was the first time one of them wasn't a teen. So....yeah....we fumbled around a bit, trying to contain 4 little people and the drama that comes w/it, but I remember the baby gasping every time he saw presents, or Santa, or anything 'pretty' like the Christmas tree display at Shopko! I also remember taking you kids to the Dollar Store and letting you pick out presents for each other...so sweet. To see and hear what you thought your siblings would like and why really helped change my perspective.

Our Fifteenth Christmas Together

This picture may look similar to the last. Our family held steady and didn't change much over the year. The baby learned some new words, the girls started sharing a room, and Mo, you happily looked out for your sisters at school. You reveled in the fact that the girls treated you like a celebrity - waving and pointing you out to their friends every time they saw you =)

Our Sixteenth Christmas Together

Hmmm...I found no photo again. I know that we decided to take a break from foster care and re-apply to adopt. We filled out another fat packet and requested another home study. And the waiting began all over again...

Our Seventeenth Christmas Together

We moved! Literally, over Christmas break. I don't recommend it. BUT - we were sooooo excited to be in the new house that we didn't want to wait! We had another home study done on the new house - before we left the old one, we had been 'matched' w/some kids who were waiting to be adopted. We did a lot of praying and none of the cases they presented to us worked out for various reasons, some on the kids' part and some on ours. Some we felt relief about, for others, we were disappointed. Either way, we were happy to keep in touch w/the social worker and grateful they were considering us for some more children.

Our Eighteenth Christmas Together

Before Christmas, we met a pair of brothers who we thought might be a good fit for our family! We visited w/them over Christmas break and got to know them better. It turns out it was our last Christmas as a family of 4. We continued our (1 year old) tradition of hiking in the woods on Christmas Day and that's where we took this goofy photo.

Our Eighteenth Christmas Together (part 2)

I could not let the last photo stand alone! As I said, we visited the boys over Christmas break and guess what? We took our first family (of 6!) photo!! When I got home and looked at the pics, I cried b/c I couldn't believe how good it felt to see us together. It felt like a good match - they are active and silly just like the rest of us! I felt like we were ready, at the time. One of the first weeks they lived w/us, one of the boys got mad that there were no pics on the wall of him. This was one of the first photos I put up, making sure to have as many of Bert and Ernie as the other kids.

Our Nineteenth Christmas Together

I'm not gonna lie, the first year w/the boys was a blur. The one family shot I have from Christmas is blurry - ironic, no? - and I remember it being very chaotic. It's hard to grasp how something as fun as Christmas can be so stress-inducing for people w/trauma in their background. I think it caught me off guard since none of our other placements had experienced such deep trauma. What I remember most about that Christmas was the way our extended family was there for us. They supported us, encouraged us, treated us no different than they had any other Christmas even though we were fumbling to figure it all out. We have the best family!

Our Twentieth Christmas Together

By this time, Nana had moved to LaCrosse, near Auntie Liz and family, so we went over there early to check out the new house. I decided that her stairwell was the perfect place to take a family photo! Kids, remember how many takes this took?....or did you erase that disaster from your memory?....I'm not a great photographer and I'm hyper-critical of myself, so I realize now that the angle is weird (you're looking up at us!) but I was still proud of me for getting a family pic where no one seemed too washed out or too much in the shadows. Kinda hard for trans-racial families!!

Our Twenty-first Christmas Together

Back in late 2016, a dramatic, funny, about-a-family-but-not-necessarily-for-your-whole-family type of show premiered. The series follows the lives and families of two parents, and their three children, in several different time frames. (It also includes grandkids and grandparents along the way.) There's themes of transracial adoption, anxiety/stress, relationships, struggles w/weight and infertility, parenting, grief and loss, etc. A lot of big emotions woven throughout some powerful scenes...but basically, it's the story of a family. So many people can find something to identify with and something that touches them - it's become very popular in the past 2 years! In fact, when they killed off one of the characters, the whole crock pot industry took a hit. I'm not really sure if the makers of Instant Pots paid the writers to put that in the show, but some conspiracy theorists are probably out there! (Sorry, if you didn't watch the show, spoiler alert! Chances are you could probably ask someone w/in 5 feet of you though and get caught up if you wanted. It was the hot topic of many conversations for a while!!) The reason I bring up the show, though, is that I feel like this post is an attempt to say 'This is us'. You will not find a perfect family in our Christmas post. You will not find a straight line to how we got here. You will not find only joy, but a reality that includes the gamut of other emotions. This family may not yet be complete, but here we are. Kids, after spending half our lives together, your Dad and I are blessed, proud and happy that our family includes you! Merry Christmas to you and the others that have made it to the end of this post! Here's to many more!!

1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!

2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??

3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!

4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...

5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.

6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity!

Coming soon....to a blog near you....

2019-01-30T15:48:00.002-06:00

In general, my life is discombobulated. I'm kind of flaky and all over the map. Right now, I am really frustrated w/myself b/c before Christmas I started a post/Christmas card on the blog...I knew I wasn't going to finish it on time and I was giving myself grace for various reasons, the first of which is that I'm flaky and all over the map! I got almost all the way done w/it and then I just wasn't feeling it. If it was paper I would have crumpled it and chucked it! I am still deciding if I should post it or not. I am, however, going to write up something else and get that up soon. Ish. That's not what I came here to write about though.

THERE IS NEWS IN ADOPTION LAND PEOPLE!!

All appeals are DONE. Nothing but paperwork and waiting for a date remain. Bert and Ernie will become members of this family PERMANENTLY and LEGALLY soon. SOON. For once I can say that and mean it =) Bert is mad that it's still taking too long. He really doesn't want to talk about it much. I don't blame him since we've been saying it would happen for a long time and it still hasn't, even w/this news. Ernie fluctuates between helping plan the party, grief over loss of/connection to first family, mad it hasn't happened yet, and just plain joy that it will happen!! He's a little discombobulated too =) 2019 has been a wild ride already...

...I still want to post a 2018 recap/Christmas letter. Right now it's looking like it's going to be 2 parts. Maybe 3. Every time I sit down to write, it gets longer!! I have a lot to say, mostly so we can look back and remember what was important to us. I know I could accomplish that in other ways, but this is currently my chosen outlet or method of delivery. At any rate - please celebrate the adoption news w/us! Go hug someone and tell them you are glad they're in your life!

When?

2018-03-23T10:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Moses had a wrestling meet. My Dad came. Dave dropped Ernie off after school so he could cheer Moses on too. It was in the back gym, not the big one. There were metal folding chairs set up. I sat between my Dad and Ernie. It was loud since the chairs were right on the edge of the mat. Parents cheering, coaches yelling, kids screaming at their teammates...you get the idea. Ernie was so excited to be there! First match - he asked all kinds of questions about why this guy is doing that, why that guy has those shoes, why it's in this gym...you get the idea =) Second match - he asked if he could color. I offered a pencil and suggested we look for paper in his backpack. Nah! Clearly he was already bored.

"When am I going to be adopted?!" he said, annoyed and seemingly out of the blue.

I was caught off guard. I shouldn't have been, for various reasons. Bert is usually the one who asks that. A lot. Often. I'll never forget how early on we were out in the yard, when Bert took his shoe off and threw it at me b/c I wouldn't adopt him already! Bert and I have a lot of conversations about the steps to adoption and why it's a long process. We talk about how I would adopt him RIGHT NOW or even YESTERDAY or maybe even BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!!! if that was possible. Sometimes Ernie is present for these conversations. Sometimes he is not. Usually Ernie is 'meh' (as the kids say) about all this adoption stuff. He seems indifferent. I know that is not entirely true but even if it was, that's totally ok, acceptable and understandable. At any rate...I should have seen it coming, but maybe not during a wrestling match like that.

As I moved on to answering the question, in the middle of a loud wrestling meet, it seemed like time slowed down. You know how in a movie, the stuff around the edges goes slower and blurrier while the center scene is in real time and full focus? Like that. There's probably a cinematic term for that, but I don't know it. Anyway - it was one of those moments. I sat between my Dad and my son, while another son was across the aisle in wrestling gear and I tried to explain life, the complicated foster care adoption system and my heart. My momma heart that aches and loves and beats for my kids. Life that is crazy and dumb and awesome and contains moments like this one where God is present and real and we just have to hold on and hurry up and wait. 'The system' that says it's for the kids but it's the kids who get a raw deal b/c, well, just b/c it's a system and not necessarily the solution. All that. I tried to explain all that. To a kid. A kid. When I feel like a kid myself. I wanted to turn to my Dad, my Dad who is going through his own stuff but is, still, and will always be my Dad, and I just wanted to be a kid again. A kid. A kid who doesn't have to explain all these things. A kid who believes she can do anything, be anything, fix everything....thanks to her parents. But I also love that I get to be the parent. I love that I get to do what I can to convince my kids of those very same things.

(Just to keep things in perspective, I have been told that nobody wants to be in my family mere hours after being asked about adoption. This I understand too. This is 'normal' for our situation. This is what makes our world turn. But those moments make the above described moments even more sweet. And blog-worthy!)

A roo-roo-roo!

2018-03-06T17:13:00.000-06:00

Winky face!

Hi! My name is Bailey! I'm new here. I had a long ride all the way from Memphis! My Dad met me and my driver in a Walgreens parking lot...I was pretty overwhelmed but happy to have the big guy drive me to my furever home! It was a long drive to my house but they had a kennel ready for me and some toys, food and water bowls. The next morning there were all these little people! I could not wag my tail hard enough! They were a little loud but then all of a sudden Mom went out the door w/them and came back all by herself. We had a pretty good first day together. When I went out to pee, I noticed that they also have these funny looking dogs here. I think they live outside. I didn't see a kennel for them or any food bowls either. They're kinda furry and they say meow a lot, especially when they're hungry! There's also these other things in the back yard...not sure what to call them.

They are all different colors and make some really loud noises, like they are freaking out! They flutter around a lot but this one they call Reba sure likes me. Sometimes Wynona comes over to say hi too. Those girls need to tell their friends that I'm cool b/c sometimes they get a little excited and run away. I just want to play! I'll make friends w/them yet!
Since I've been here, I've gone on a lot of walks. Did you know they have water here? Once I went down there and it was LOUD - but it looked like fun! Mom says we can go swimming when it's warmer. She said I would like camping too - whatever that is. I've seen this 'camper' thing and it looks like a little house! On wheels! That's crazy...anyway - all this activity and making friends w/the little people wears me out sometimes. Sleeping is good.

The other day Mom took me to my first vet appointment. There was a nice lady who put out a few crumbs of treats and then she put cheese on the wall! CHEESE!! She kept trying to put this black thing on my back but I wasn't having it. I was smart and waited until she left the room to eat the cheese. The vet came in and he talked to Mom about ticks, food and the little people. It was a good day but I came home and took a nap since I was tuckered out.

I've also been to puppy class. There are all these puppies there w/their Moms and Dads and a really nice couple who is helping us play together. Mom tried to get me to lay down for a treat but um, hello? I don't do stuff like that on the first class! I learned a lot from my previous foster parents and Dad says I'm really a good dog. I don't beg, I listen well, I have only jumped on the couch once! My foster family was so nice to teach me manners! I love people and dogs too. I'm even starting to like the little furballs that live outside! At puppy class, I licked every dog there. I just went around the room and licked 'em! The big dogs liked it, some of the little ones tried to hide but my tongue still reached them. The teacher said I did a good job. Mom laughed and said that I was a wet bandit.

Recently I stayed over at the vet. I was sore when I came home and I had an owie on my belly. Mom won't let me run much, she said it's not good after surgery. Things w/that were going pretty well for a while but then today - UGH! Today she took me back to the vet and this happened!!

Yup, that's a cone. This dumb thing keeps getting caught in doorways and seriously restricts my ability to easily lick people and other dogs!! I did discover in the wet snow today though, that if I put my nose down to sniff, when I lift up my head, I can scoop the snow! Then if I come up fast enough, I can actually toss the stuff I scooped! I tried to catch that and Mom kept laughing!! Scoop, toss, jump, scoop, toss, jump! This cone is annoying and it doesn't come off when I scrape at it w/a paw, but it is a little fun in the snow. Just don't tell the vet I said that, ok? Mom tried to get a video of me playing but maybe next time she'll have a little better control w/her bad arm.
Anyway - I thought I would introduce myself since I'm sort of a big deal around here! I'm super friendly so if you see me sometime I will demand to greet you and probably lick half your face off, just so you know how much I love friends! I'm happy to be part of a furever family now and the coolest thing is that I'm not the only one here who was in foster care and adopted too - some of my little people went through the same thing. If we're not a match made in heaven, I don't know what is.

Goals 2018

2018-01-18T16:51:00.000-06:00

Before writing this post, I looked back at some of my past year's goals...yeah...I feel like writing a big fat TRY AGAIN over them or just copy and pasting them here!! But that's boring and doesn't make for an exciting post...so....how about I just write some of the new ones here? If you feel like it you can take a look at the older ones here. Before I spit out a big to do list for 2018, I'd like to highlight what went well in 2017.
I cleaned and purged in the alcove! That means I emptied the huge bin of mostly kid papers and projects that I moved to our new house 2 years ago!! This felt sooooo soooo soooo good, even if it took me forever to do it. School papers are better organized now and have a real home. I'll be ironing on that latest "You're a grown-up!" badge real soon.
Dave helped me in a big way to get a garden cage up. I really hope this year to get some things started in the house. Overall, the garden is set up and ready for the next year. Big win for someone who 'has to' grow stuff!
We camped quite a few times w/family and friends - this was so good for my soul - I really hope we can plan out more of this in 2018. I like the long trips too, but sometimes a girl just needs to see her besties and hearing the kids make mischief w/their cousins is definitely priceless.
I've been able to get to bible study w/some women from church on a semi-regular basis. Still working on relationships and my own personal faith journey, but meeting w/people IRL is a good thing.
Guys - I've been cooking!!! COOKING!!!!! Now don't go thinking I mean that fancy pants restaurant kind of stuff, I'm talking casseroles, quiches and Mexican dishes, but being that we are at the Y at least twice a week for a number of hours, I've pushed myself to make real food for my family. I even tried a new thing today! I'm getting to be a master of all things 9 x 13...another 'grown-up achievement level' unlocked! Where's my bouncing star and tinkly electronic theme song?
I've been decorating the house...there are pictures on the wall...still no decorating theme or coordinating put together rooms but I'm trying! I am even thinking of hiring a professional for some advice. I'm ready for grown-up furniture (bought one piece already) and an actual 'style'. Other than "I'm too lazy to do this, I have no interest, and no eye for what looks good", that is.
Alright! Now for some new stuff! First of all, the kids are doing well. It's been 2 years since we added to the family and we've reached a loose routine and sense of peace in the house. I know I can step up my game as a momma and some of my goals are related to that. I'll begin meeting Moses at the library after school to work on his online Spanish class next semester. I need to carve out at least 10 minutes a week w/each kid. That sounds easy, but Lord help me, my scrambled brain can never remember to slow down and focus. I steal moments here and there but so much of our lives happen in a group...it just needs to be a priority for me to make that connection w/each one on purpose. Another thing I'd like to do more of is hosting people in our home for meals, Bible study or 'play dates' for the kids. Hang outs? Are they too old to say play dates? Maybe! We are always willing to have people over but I feel like I need to make everything BETTER for that to happen. "Maybe when we get better furniture....maybe when we re-paint in here....maybe when it's not so muddy outside..." This year I commit to trying to host someone(s) once a month! We already hosted a family in the month of Jan, I think...which means I need to get working on a Feb date! I feel like that one is not a super new goal, but oh well. Here's another one - get active more. I think this one will be a little bit easier this year, for various reasons. Back in the day, I used to run. I miss it and wonder if my 40yo self can muster up the strength and energy to get back to where I left off? I once set the goal for a sub 30min 5K and came really close! I think I technically achieved it but didn't count it for some reason. I'll have to look that up. Anyway - living on a country road, I still need to decide if I want to run along the shoulder out there or just drive the 3 mi to town to run on sidewalks. That seems ridiculous but there is pretty much no shoulder on our road, just a big ditch! Road running sounds better right now, but we'll see when I actually do it. Finally, a big goal I have never written down but always wanted to do - design a photo book for each year since I met Dave. I'm talking about setting it up online and having it printed. I can't stand the thought of sitting in front of a screen editing a year's worth of photos but I know my kids love the photo books Nana has made!! It would be totally worth it, even if there were only 100 photos in the book. (Dude, I take THOUSANDS of photos each year, granted, not all of them are keepers, but narrowing it down to 100 for each year would be tough!!) Lots to do in 2018!!! Can't wait to get started on all the good stuff!!

Merry Christmas 2017

2017-12-21T21:17:00.000-06:00

A is for AL Amyloidosis - For those of you that don't know, my Dad was diagnosed w/this rare disease months ago. He has undergone chemo, an autologous stem cell transplant (it just means they took his own cells out, treated them and put them back in, rather than those of someone else), and a few other medical procedures for his heart. His heart was/is the organ most affected by the disease. Currently Dad is in 'isolation' of sorts, since his immune system is like that of a newborn baby =) Please continue to pray for his appetite to return, for his heart/physical well being and healing but also for a peace and joy to fill his soul. It's been a tough year and 'hiding out' at home, away from family and friends is not easy. We have missed having Dad at birthdays, concerts, and just random gatherings...We are hopeful for the New Year, that we can get back to 'normal' and celebrate special events together!

B is for Basketball Hoop and Band - This year we were talking about getting a hoop for the kids, when my Uncle John mentioned that he had one in his basement. He promised it wasn't pretty but it would get the job done! Sure enough - we picked it up one day and got the supplies to set it in the ground. The hoop has been up for a while and there were lots of days where you could find all of us out there shooting around! In other news, Moses is in band class this year. He is playing his Dad's saxophone! Just like the piano, his talent and ear provide us w/much entertainment - it was so easy for him to pick up this instrument he has never played and play whatever he wants! We've heard commercial jingles, songs from the various genres on the radio, and random stuff they are practicing at school. I am constantly in awe of the fact that both him and his Dad have this gift/talent.

C is for Chicks, Chicago and Camping - A high school classmate of mine put a plea on face.book for someone to take some baby chicks off the hands of a friend who hatched them in her classroom. I happily drove to my hometown and collected a box full of babies! They cheep cheeped all the way home in the passenger seat! It was so much fun for the kids to see how they grew and how the cats were around them. Always an adventure out here! Another big adventure this year was camping in Chicago. Yes, IN Chicago! It is permissible to 'camp' in the parking lot of the convention center. There are no amenities, unless you count proximity to all that the downtown area has to offer. Which for us, was plenty! We did lots of outdoor free stuff, so pretty much a ton of things! It was BLAZING hot and sweaty...aka memorable. No electricity means sweating while you sleep, especially since there are no shade trees in parking lots! Despite that, we would do it again in a heartbeat. We camped many other places with many other people but some of the best times were when our kids were with their Arnold cousins! So many giggles and inventive games! We are truly blessed to be able to have a strong bond between our families.
D is for Duck Creek Campground - This particular campground gets a specific mention in the Christmas letter for various reasons. We first camped there with one of my besties and her family. One of my other best friends came up and visited while we were there and it was awesome! There is a pond/lake, where you can fish and/or swim. One of the first times fishing, my lucky fisherwoman/daughter Colleen caught a fish bigger than her Daddy's foot!! As for swimming, there are these huge inflatables that *I* even had fun on! I laughed so hard trying to get onto that Jupiter ball....I am severely out of shape and bottom heavy, so my spindly arms could not haul myself up there! After an assist from Dave, I finally managed to climb on! I haven't laughed like that in a long time and I went to bed that night sore, tired but beyond happy. It was such a good time that when we were planning a camping weekend with Dave's sister and her family in the area, we suggested it again. I'm certain we will go back next year too! The funniest thing was that this fall, Dave was in the closet and he put on a hat we had found while camping in IL last summer. Would you believe me if I told you that it was from Duck Creek Campground?! IT WAS!!! We both laughed and commented on how it was the hat that sent us subliminal messages to go there all along.

E is for a lot of things, but nothing that really applies in 2017. So....we hope your state of ennui is ephemeral, and please do not exculpate us as we expatiate and elucidate the other exciting things from 2017! Consider it an education as you explore a dictionary and encounter some E words from the SAT exam!

F is for FORTY - Both Dave and I turned 40 this year. No, there was no big bash or anything, but throughout most of the year, Dave was willing to help me knock some things off my 'life list'. Some of them are mentioned in this post!

G is for Garden and Gymnastics - Two things that are on our list every year! This year Dave built a serious garden 'cage' to prevent critters from getting to my plants. Like always, there were plenty of experiments going on - we learned that beans do REALLY well, especially when I double plant them! Cabbages do well, too. Some other things did not get into the ground early enough though, so that's a goal for next year. As for gymnastics - there are 2 of our kids on the team this year! Both Moses and Bert are on the team and have competed in 2 meets so far. At the second one, Bert came home with a 1st place medal in almost every event! His face light up so big when they called his name!! It's been fun to watch them both grow, learn and enjoy the sport.
H is for Hollandfest - The town we live in is Dutch. No, I mean they are VERY DUTCH. They celebrate their heritage every other year. One of the things I wanted to do this year was attend the festival where they wash the streets, dance and race in wooden shoes and serve ollie bollen. It was fun to see people we knew from the community and the kids saw lots of their friends.
I is for the Ice Age Trail - One of the things Dave wanted to start was hiking the IAT in segments. Obviously with small kids, work and WI weather, we are not able to hike huge segments at a time, but we did have some 11 mile days in there! It's been fun traveling to other parts of the state and hiking in different weather too. We've been to where it starts/ends in Door County and might do more of it over Christmas Break.
J is for Jesus - Christmas is a time to celebrate His birth...yet so often the season is JAM-PACKED with decorating, shopping, parties, kid's concerts, baking, wrapping, eating, etc...please know that the Lord sent His One and Only Son Jesus to the Earth in the form of a man so that He could live, suffer and die for our sins. (John 14, specifically verse 16, but the whole chapter is good!) Even when life drags me down, I have a joy in my heart because I have a personal relationship with Jesus. The gift of eternal life is for everyone, not just me, and I pray that all who read this letter know that they are LOVED! If you have questions about my faith or want to learn more, you know how to find me!
K is for Kayaking - Six people, four kayaks...it works! Sometimes there are 3 little people in one kayak and sometimes there's a kid in with one of us grown-ups, but Mo is almost always on his own. We've done some kayaking in rivers and lakes this year, mostly in Waupaca area and the river here, maybe once we got out into Lake Michigan. I think next year we might investigate a better trailer...we thought about adding to our fleet, but so far the little people are not so great at paddling and steering, so they usually get towed.
L is for Lineage - This year I really wanted to get all the cousins on my paternal side of the family together. I see the cousins from my maternal side quite often, mostly because they live in close proximity. You know how you always say "We should really get together!" but don't? I hate that. Call it part of my birthday present to myself, I was determined to pull the cousins together! Not everyone was able to make it (hello? Work, plane tickets are not cheap, etc...) but it was so good to be together with family!! I chose to kick the weekend off with a visit to the cemetery where my grandparents and one set of great-grandparents are buried. The legacy those people left, both in terms of people created, physical traits and character traits, is absolutely overwhelming. I am so blessed and grateful that I was able to share some laughs and get lots of family hugs that weekend!!
M is for Middle School and Mom Moving - This year Moses started Middle School!! Yeah, did you blink too? It just seems not possible but it is. He's doing online Spanish, band and STEM as his interest classes. He is learning a lot about responsibility...let's just leave it at that. For the most part though, it seems to be going well! I think we could say the same for Dave's Mom - she moved last weekend! It was a big move - almost all the way across the state, to the same town where Dave's sister lives. Now when we visit, it will be a two-fer! We'll get to see 2 factions of the family on the same trip! We're excited to have family Christmas at her new house this year and the cousins will be together again, which will probably lead to another M word = mayhem!
N is for the Ninja Mud Run - This is an annual event in my hometown. My parents love watching my brother's son and my own boys in this event! We had great weather for it again this year and even bumped into some friends. The boys are already looking forward to doing it again next year!

O is for Optometrist - This year Moses got glasses. We had a lot of laughs trying on different frames and the ones he liked the best were a pair of prescription safety glasses! There ya go, kid, you're all set to work in the factory...(no, I did not let him get those)...but it reminded me how little I know and/or care about fashion. Like the 40 year old Mom that I am, I was looking at all these practical, functional frames while he was looking for flashy, trendy, sporty, what in the world is on your face kinds of frames! Ah well, in the end we found a good compromise and the poor kid can see the clock and the scoreboard.
P is for Play, Packers and Pudgie Pies - In the beginning of the year, I had a very small part in another play. It was so good to see 'my peeps' again! I know I've said it before, but it means a lot to me that I am able to participate in things like that. The next one is Packers - we drove up and took in a Packers practice this year! Bert kept tracking Clay Matthews, giving me a play by play report of which end of the field he was on, while the other kids had fun yelling for AARON!!!! Thankfully Aaron Rodgers was willing to wave and make faces at all his adoring fans =) Afterwards, Mo got high fives from a bunch of players as they left the practice field and Ernie got an autograph!! It was a big day. Also, just recently Davon House was at our local grocery store so the kids got another autograph and photo op! The next P is MY favorite one of all! At some point, my cousin posted something about a Pudgie Pie cookbook and I had to have it. I love making pies when we are camping and this cookbook had all kinds of recipes! I'm not exactly a foodie, but I do like to eat...anyway - I promise that if you camp with us next year, we can make a bunch of these recipes!
Q is for Quotidian - You didn't think you were going to learn so much from a Christmas letter, did you? The truth is, learning is a quotidian activity. This year I attempted to slow down and focus on the quotidian tasks of providing security to the little people. I learned a lot about their needs and tried my best to improve the quality of our quotidian lives. (I think that's enough of that word now!)
R is for Rock Painting - Early in the year 2016 there was a viral news story around here about someone who painted rocks for kindness or something...well the kids started seeing them around and there's a facebook group for painted rocks in our community. So we joined! The kids like painting rocks, hiding them, and hunting for them! We've found rocks on hikes, at grocery stores and therapy. It's been interesting to see the artwork and hear about who found what rock.
S is for Summerfest and Sibling visits - It was the 50th year for Summerfest and as part of my 40th year celebration, I requested to go and see one of the bands I love from 'back in the day' (when I was less than half my current age). Dave and the kids sat through some early 90s rock for me but we got to sample lots of other bands and styles of music! We heard the Badger Band which is always a highlight! Another highlight has been foster family visits. Starting in October, we began meeting with Bert and Ernie's biological siblings and their foster families (they had been previously meeting as a bio family, including their mom, with no foster family members present). It was a new experience for all of us, since it was the kids who had something in common and not the grownups! We have shared some laughs and look forward to getting together again in the future.
T is for TPR and Timm's Hill - TPR stands for Termination of Parental Rights. In fall the boys' bio parents rights were terminated which means they are legally free for adoption. It also meant that visits with bio parents ended. No adoption date has been set - there is an appeal process so we are waiting out that time line. This was a huge step in the legal process though! We feel like we are halfway up the mountain. Speaking of high points, this year we climbed the tower at Timm's Hill, aka the highest point in WI. I am that weird girl who plans trips to see odd landmarks. I tried looking for the lowest point but since Lake Michigan levels are constantly changing, that data doesn't really exist. Also, did you know that there are a large number of world city names for towns in WI? Lima, Florence, Paris, Troy, Vienna...
U is for Unanimous - some events of the year have left uloid marks on our hearts, others reminded us that we don't live in a utopia...still we are unanimous when we say that we are blessed!
V is for Vegetate - we plan to do plenty of that this Christmas Break! At one point this season, an ad came into the house with a family on the cover all decked out in matching jammies. The kids kept saying, "Awww!" and commenting on how neat that was...personally, I think it's a little corny, but later that night I was researching the cost of 'family pajamas' (no, it's not one big pair of jammies that everyone crams into - that's what I think of when I hear that word!!) and wouldn't you know, I found some I could stand. We passed out the jammies over Thanksgiving weekend and slept around the tree! We have some fun family photos of everyone in the Christmas jammies and I have officially retired from snorting whenever I see a family all matchy-matchy. My crew looks pretty cute and VERY happy in their matching pajamas! WORTH IT!
W is for Wildlife - as always, we see a lot of wildlife in the yard and woods. This year we even saw a buck!! It never gets old.
X is for Hexagon - yeah, ok it doesn't start with x! Neither does Six, but I'd like to use these to describe our family right now. There are 6 people in our family and consequently 6 sides to every story. This blog post, though, is pretty much one sided since I'm the only one writing it!
Y is for Youth Group - this year Moses is old enough and has begun attending youth group through church. I have chosen to go along and it's such a joy to see how the kids are learning and growing.
Z is for Zip Line - This year Dave installed a zip line in the backyard. He researched all the equipment, including what would hold 300 pounds so guys like him could ride it! (No he's not 300 pounds, but better to over-estimate than under, right?) We put a deer stand under it and attached both a swing and a bar from a playground set. It's about 100' and a quick ride between 2 trees! It's given us a lot more ideas for how to get around in our woods!

So now you know our ABCs and stuff, next time won't you make memories with us! (Terrible rhyme, but you can't blame me for trying!) Merry Christmas from our family to yours! May you have many blessings and friends to share them with in the New Year!

1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!

2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??

3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!

4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...

5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.

6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity!

Melandia

2017-11-21T12:10:00.000-06:00

I read a post from an amazing site called the Mighty today. I felt like jumping up and down, yelling YES after every line, waving it in everyone's face...it's SPOT ON, exactly how I feel right now...I will share the link at the end of my post, but I wanted to expand on it a little. So many times as a foster/adopt parent, I hear the same comments from people. I sometimes carry a chip on my shoulder (I know I shouldn't do that - I'm a work in progress!) and get grumpy. I feel isolated and frustrated that the average person doesn't get me or what I"m going through, but then I remember that they might not really don't know! Back before I became a foster/adopt parent, I had absolutely no clue. So instead of being grumpy today, I choose to try and share. If you are one of my 7 regular readers, none of this is news to you, but maybe it will help others along the way.

You say - "You look tired..."  I say - Yep, it's been busy latley!  What you should know but I don't say b/c I don't want to scare you off - (from the article) Adoption is the late night researching of attachment disorders, trauma, fetal alcohol syndrome and pouring your worries out in online support groups so you can have the strength to get up in the morning and try again.  (I do get up.  Every morning.  Mind you, not quickly, and I drop the kids off in my jammie pants a lot, but I do get up.  My strength is found in the Lord, my kids' faces, my hubby's warm embrace...I yell at the tv during football games, I eat too many snacks at night, and I go to bed too late.  But I get up every morning.)

You say - "You're kids are so lucky!"  I say - Nah, we're the lucky ones!  What I should say but I don't b/c it will make me sound over-dramatic - (from the article) Losing their first family is not lucky; it’s unimaginable, heart wrenching loss that never, ever goes away.  (I would like to add that GRIEF is a huge part of adoption and foster care, not in the way you would think.  There is grief when a kid returns to the bio parents, of course, but the children themselves are grieving all kinds of losses.  Some of us parents might be grieving the loss of our perfect plan too.  Which, yes I know is ridiculous b/c God's plan is perfect and way better than mine, but again, there are days when I struggle w/this still.  And grieving is not over-dramatic.  Grief is real and it's both a burden and a gift at the same time.  To miss someone, to be sad about something lost is healthy but oh so hard.  I could talk a long time about this but it's not the focus of this post.)

You say - "You have free time, you're a SAHM, right?"  I say - Actually I'm pretty busy.  I spend a lot of time driving my kids to therapies and hello?  Running a house of 6 people?  Yep, busy.  What I should say but don't b/c some people get really upset - (from the article)  People talk about being upset their favorite show got cancelled while you are re-reading a 35 page neuropsychological evaluation through tear filled eyes.  (Side note: I have my favorite shows too!  This Is Us, anyone?  But honestly, I do read lots of medical reports and journals and research and posts from others 'in the trenches'.  And yes I cry.  I am not a doctor.  I do not understand trauma, medical jargon or even why the sky is blue.  If a show gets canceled, I do my best to move on.  If my kid is denied a therapy or a service that's helpful, LOOK OUT.)

You say - "We don't really hang out anymore...she doesn't seem very friendly..."  I say - (silence)  (I don't say a word to you, but I lament to my husband - If a friend can put up w/my hot mess, my lack of communication, my venting...then a friendship will happen.  Otherwise, I guess I don't have too many friends, just a lot of shallow acquaintances.  That's my life right now.)  What I wish everyone knew but why bother them with it... - (from the article) They don’t see the late nights, the trauma behaviors, the crying every day over school, endless meetings, judgmental teachers and never ending therapies.  (I really don't have a lot of friends.  Every single one of my best friends lives almost an hour away to multiple states away.  I've tried to make friends here, I have, but who wants a friend who is tired, busy, tangled up in a hard place w/her kids and sometimes carries a chip on her shoulder?  Also, it's really hard to be there for a friend w/their own needs when your energy is spent on your family's needs.  I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone!  99% of the time I'm ok w/this.  Please understand, though, it's hard for me.  Hard to be a friend.  Hard to make friends.  But I do miss friends!  This is the duplicity of my life right now.)

You say - "Let me know if you need anything!"  I say - We're good!  What rattles around in my brain but rarely gets admitted to anyone - Admitting that some days it’s just too much would be admitting you’re feeling like a failure — wouldn’t it?  (It's so hard to ask for help.  I believe I am the best person for this job/parenting...and yet...I over-analyze, second guess myself and fret fret fret way too much!  I have asked for help on occasion and I am promptly amazed to the moon and back how much the people around us are willing to help.  We couldn't do what we do w/o some good people around us.) 

I really wanted to cut-n-paste the whole article!!  I think it has a big impact for me right now b/c we're in the midst of it.  There's a lot people don't see behind the scenes when you parent children from hard places.  One of my biggest pieces of advice for people lately has been to get to know someone different from you.  This applies to a lot of situations.  Of course, don't put yourself in harm's way, don't go about it alone - have someone to with whom to process what you are learning, and don't do it if you can't be respectful.  But seriously, we will all benefit from a greater understanding of those who are different than us.  There have been a few times in life where I have done that and I'm still doing that.  I don't regret one minute of getting to know someone different than me.  I see the world and the others around me in a new way each time I add to those experiences.  I encourage you to read this article, to gain a greater understanding of what people around you may be going through.  I also hope it helps you understand me and my crazy good life a little too!  (No commas, that's not a grammatical error Auntie!  It's not crazy and good, well, it is but here I meant to say that it's crazy good.  B/c it is.)

https://themighty.com/2017/11/what-adoption-is-when-you-parent-kids-from-hard-places/

PS - "The Mighty is a digital health community created to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities." That's how they define their site. I think everyone can find something that makes them feel like I did after reading this article.