Our Inspired Journey

Home Education...why we do it, and a peek at year ONE!

2013-05-17T00:19:00.002-07:00

When John and I felt God whispering change into our family's landscape last year, it was lead by a prompting we felt to turn in our PTA shirts for ones that hit a little closer to home. For the first time in my life, I felt God calling me to a classroom of four instead of thirty.

Anyone who has known me for a long time, knows how much "teaching" means to me. One of the reasons I started this blog was because of the insatiable desire I have to share with others about the ways God is teaching ME along the way of our family's journey. I don't make money from writing, and have really never desired to. I just love to share. Showing others what God has revealed to me so that they may walk their steps more aware of His presence and purpose brings me DEEP joy....like maybe it's God Himself that placed that desire in me...(and I believe it is :)

A year ago, when God nudged us to pull out of the "system" and to educate our kids at home, it was not all roses from the start. I've written about this before, but I want you know exactly where I'm coming from...

I liked SCHOOL.

I liked being a part of the community of learners around us.

I loved the thrill of a first day outfit and picture with a new teacher as little faces saw their new class for the first time.

I loved BEing the teacher for a few years before the kids were born, joining with my peers to collaborate over the needs of the students in our classrooms each year.

When I was a choir teacher, I loved the joy of a performance gone well where the families and kids genuinely seemed to beam with excitement over being given an opportunity to exercise musical gifts on stage...

And I loved the joy of Open House where kids excitedly showed their parents what they had learned that year...(at least the part that could hang on a wall) :)

Then one day, God spoke to me...once my own kids started in the same routine I knew well...

"I want something different for YOU."

I wasn't sure I was ready for different. I liked what I knew. I wanted my kids to walk in the same footsteps that were familiar and have the same fond memories I held dear. But God stirred mine and John's hearts in the same direction at the same time when it came time for our four to start down that same path. Ryder was in Kindergarten at the time, and I grew more aware of God's desire for something different for my boy.

At the time, I was a bit afraid to opt out of something I loved. My thoughts were consumed with what I thought we'd be missing in taking them out of traditional school. I had no idea at the time, what lay ahead. God showed me many things in our moments of decision. He showed me that no wise choice is fueled by fear. The "fear" of them missing out on what I had is not the way to follow in His footsteps....ever. I only share this for those of you who have heard Him call you to a place you've never been and may be afraid to go to since it's unfamiliar. It's new. It's different than than they way YOU grew up.

The longer I've walked with Jesus, the more confident I am in His leading. He has NEVER failed me yet. In fact, His way...especially the unfamiliar, new, never been there before kind of places He's lead us to over the past few years have been life changing in ways I could have never found on my own if I would have followed the safe, predictable, beaten path set before me. We rarely know of the blessing that waits on the other side of obedience when we take that first step...but there IS blessing!!!

So believe, my friend. Whatever He's calling you to...regardless of the nature of your existent or non-existent college degree...if you are a parent, you can KNOW, God has a plan for your child. He had one for them before they were born. The very best thing YOU can do for your children is let the God who made them, lead YOU in raising them. Without fear, but with FULL confidence knowing that He leads AND He also equips.

When Jesus asked Peter to walk out on the water, Peter stepped without any previous experience of "water-walking" before. It was the face of his Master that lead his heart to step in full-faith. He knew, the One who called Him, was One who could be trusted. It was only once he turned to logic, and thoughts of His own human abilities that he fell. Jesus had every intention of sustaining Him the whole way. Don't let your opinion of yourself interfere with the plans of your Sustainer. He doesn't operate on the same plane of thought that we do. :) Trust HIM to do immeasurably more than anything your mind could think of or imagine!

Now that we're finishing up our first year, I'll give you just a glance of the blessings we had our first year of home educating our kiddos. I didn't take many photos this year...probably because it felt so unnatural to disengage from what we were in the midst of to capture it on camera, but here are a few glimpses into mostly the beginning of our year!

...Our First Year...

I had all kinds of grand plans to write a lot this year. Instead I found this year to be a great one, letting God show me what works best for our family...our schedule, curriculum and way of life changed throughout the year and now we've fallen into a GREAT groove. I love it, they love it and we're LOVING being home together at a pace propelled by the Spirit rather than our schedule.

Ryder's first narrative story of the year...

Ryder grew SO much as an author throughout the year! I was so proud of him, since it was the subject that required the most focus, determination and effort from him.

Math...his favorite subject!

Cole started the year using Confessions of a Homeschooler's K4 Curriculum

Pros: Very fun, hands on activities that he could do independently while I worked with Ryder.

Letter Tracing...

Letter Race...Ryder says a Letter and they RUN to it!

GREAT visual of what adding is all about!

Cons: A LOT of printing (ink and paper...as you can probably tell!)

After a while, he wanted his curriculum to match Ryder's and the K4 curriculum became to easy for him... (a good thing!)

So, at the beginning of 2nd Semester, we transitioned to Kindergarten Curriculum...

Math: Saxon K (loved!)

One of his favorites...Let's Play STORE :)

And...making graphs!

Reading: All About Reading Pre-Reading Level and Level 1

(I cannot say enough amazing things about this one!!!)

When I found out Cole was deaf, one of the statistics that concerned me, was that children who are deaf have difficulty moving past a 3rd grade reading level. We've been working HARD to help Cole move past that statistic!!! he has grown a lot this year, and just today, picked up one of the books that comes with this curriculum, and read it all by himself...He stopped, sounded words out, re-read sentences a few times to make sure it sounded fluent, but did it on his own! This is a HUGE victory for our boy!!!

Journal Writing using Sight Words...

Cora attended pre-school 3 days a week this year at the same school Cole attended last year. She's loved it! On the days she was home with us, she became our little artist! She also loved being brought into Cole's learning.

...All together now...

Bible, History, Science, Read-Alouds: Sonlight Core A, Intro to the World: Cultures

(Our favorite part of the day...snuggling on the couch, reading. None of these times were caught on camera...we were too busy enjoying them!)

I really loved using Sonlight this year and plan to use it again next year. I love the way the literature-based curriculum for History, Bible and Read-Alouds brought our whole family together on one couch after lunch each day. After everyone was tired from working hard all morning in their individual level for Math, Writing and Reading, we were excited to learn together through great books.

One of our science experiments...how waves move in the ocean!

...Computer time...

(a treat for finishing early)

One website my preschoolers and Kindergartner loved was Starfall.com

Half way through the year, we were able to use money from our Charter School to buy an iPad! We were SO excited. Here are some fun apps we've enjoyed!

iPad Apps:

Ryder (2nd grade +):

Mind Snacks Spanish

Brain Pop Jr.

Mad Libs

Crosswords for Kids

Kids Discover

National Geographic Weird But True

NASA

Read Rhythm

Magic Piano

Awesome Eats

Fit Brains

Cole (Kinder):

Bob Books Magic 1 & 2

McGraw Hill Word Wonderland

Duck Duck Moose Reading

Endless ABC

Letter School

Montessorium Alpha Writer

eFlash Sight Words Flash Cards

Duck Duck Moose Musical Me!

Brain Pop Jr.

Articulation Station (speech)

Cora (Preschool):

all of Cole's apps +

Duck Duck Moose Princess Fairy Tale Maker

Duck Duck Moose Puzzle Pop HD

Rylee: (toddler):

all of Cora's apps +
Toddler Teasers Colors
Duck Duck Moose Old McDonald Had a Farm
Play 1.2.3
Baby Counts

Books:
Joseph's Coat
Dino-Store
Tejas and Lillipop
Mary's Lamb
Goodnight Safari
Go There
Nighty Night

Our Curriculum

2012-2013

Ryder: 1st Grade (according to the state), 2nd grade (curriculum at home)
Sky Mountain Charter School: We met with our Educational Specialist every 20 days at our house, to monitor Ryder's progress and for him to show her what he's be learning that month. It held me accountable to certain goals we made each month and gave Ryder a chance to talk to another adult about what he's learning

Bible: AWANA - Sparks :)

Bible, History, Geography, Read-Alouds: Sonlight Core A: Intro to the World: Cultures

Math: Saxon 2 (teacher-led) and ALEKS Math (independently done and self-propelled forward)

Science: Sonlight A: Biology, Botany, Physics

Vocabulary: Wordly Wise 2

Writing: Write from the Beginning (I was trained in this when I taught...blog post to come!)

Spanish: Rosetta Stone Level 1

California State Standard reinforcement: Study Island
Piano: Lessons from Daddy :)
We were so blessed to have all this curriculum (except for Sonlight), including our iPad, paid for by our Charter School! Ryder had a great first year at home! When I asked him where he wanted to learn next year, he said...home. Actually he asked if it was possible to go all the way through college, homeschooling :) Ha! We take it year by year, but it's great to know he likes where he is.

Cole: Kindergarten
Bible: AWANA - Cubbies :)
Bible, History, Geography, Read-Alouds: Sonlight Core A: Intro to the World: Cultures

Phonics: Get Ready, Get Set, Go for the Code Book A, B, C

Reading: All About Reading Pre-Reading Level, and Level 1 and Bob Books

Math: Saxon K

Science: Sonlight A: Biology, Botany, Physics

Writing: Journal Writing with Mom :)

Piano Lessons with Daddy when he came home from band rehearsal...

Some things are just for fun :)

It's so hard to capture a year in a few pictures and through a list of curriculum. What you can't see here are the moments we sat on the couch, cuddled under a blanket, hearing a stories from the Old Testament that none of us (including me!) had ever heard before. Having our minds and hearts enlightened together over new truths day after day, never grew old.

As long as the Lord calls us to home educate our kids, I will be grateful for many things...

...for the chance to teach my children right where their mind and heart are in that moment

...being able to study the topics they love

...seeing them through victories and challenges, both academic and relational (with siblings!)

...praying with them through difficult moments

...morning bike rides and mid-week family breakfasts

...field trips with friends and family alike

..."recess" with neighbors

...being able to "train them up in the way they should go" without taking a 7 hour school break

...being personally stretched to trust God at every moment of the day without a 7 hour school break :)

...seeing God be faithful to complete the good work he started in us all year through

...living at the Spirit's pace instead of the school's schedule for us

...being able to give everyone a chance to explore other activities and sports without feeling overwhelmed by school as well as homework

I realize not everyone in their current situation believes they have the opportunity to make this education choice for their kids. I deeply respect that. I will say, however, if God calls you to it, He'll make a way...He always does, and we're so grateful He's shown Himself to be faithful to us in our first year at home.

He provided the finances (Mostly through Sky Mountain Charter School - $1600 per pupil a year!)

He provided the plans (Most of the curriculum we used came with a plan to follow...You don't have to have a teaching credential to educate your children at home!)

The most important element He provided was the patience for us all to learn to live with each other all day long! He's so faithful to take us as far as we'll come! Our character as a family and mine as a mom has never grown more in any other season of our lives. There is a peace I now know with my imperfect children who have imperfect parents since we've all fallen more deeply in love with a beautifully perfect God...together. In all of our brokeness, we know we're on the same team. There's nothing like hearing your son pray for his Daddy before work, and then minutes later burst into a spontaneous dance party to his favorite worship song to start the day :)

I wish this call upon everyone. I really do. We've been given a gift that will last a lifetime. Time...the one gift we never get back...

Our little ATHLETES!

2013-05-09T00:09:00.000-07:00

What an INCREDIBLE year it has been watching the boys play on sports teams for the first time this Fall and Spring! John, myself and our parents had a blast reminiscing over past memories of us playing the same sports years ago. If you were to ask the boys which sport they like the best, they'll tell you whatever sport they are currently playing...I love that!

Soccer...Fall 2012

It's fun to watch their transformation throughout the season...they grow so fast!!!

A little time goes by and they are ready for a haircut! It was too hot for long hair!

Trying to keep his "ears" on in the midst of a sweaty, hot game proved harder than we thought...until I found this headband online! Cole picked soccer print for the front :) it worked GREAT for the hot games, though he still preferred to tape them behind his ears when it was cool enough...

We even had the chance to participate in a soccer clinic hosted by the LA Galaxy in the middle of the season. The boys had a great time, then we took them to see a Galaxy game that weekend...the second to last game that Beckham played! It was a great night out with just our boys!!!

Getting autographs from two of the LA Galaxy players...you can tell Cole is real impressed :)

Fall AYSO ended and the boys loveds it so much we signed them up for a winter league too...

A few games into the season, he was moved up to play with boys a bit older than him, since he was so aggressive! This boy doesn't know how to give anything less than 100%!

Baseball...Spring 2013

Just when we thought we couldn't love a sport more than soccer, baseball came along and swept them off their feet. The hats, the uniforms, and bats and gloves...they were sold!

T-Ball... Seadogs

Ryder loved helping Cole's team at practice and during games. He always helped Cole find the one helmet that would fit over his "ears."

He missed that one, but was a GREAT little ball player this year! He hopes to move up next year to play "coach pitch" like Ryder did this year...

Farm Division (coach pitch)... Sandgnats

It has been such a fun year watching the boys grow in so many ways through being a part of these teams. One of the reasons we could participate in so many "after school" activities this year, is because we've taken a traditional school schedule out of the equation.

I loved having the opportunity to be a part of teams and drama groups over the course of my childhood. Once I became a mother of school aged kids, I had the same desire for them to have a chance to explore these areas as well! Having four so close in age, I soon realized some part of the equation wasn't going to pan out. There just weren't enough hours in the day for school, homework, and after school activities for all four of them at one time! Changing our school choice helped us breathe a little more throughout the day and finish our school hours with enough time for every child to be involved in two weekly activites...one is AWANA at our church, and the other is a sport or activity of their choice. I'm so thankful the Lord made a way for us to grow as a family and to actually feel joyful in the process!

I'm SUCH an advocate for not overwhelming your family schedule with so many "things" that you begin to see your identity as a family slip away. Our whole family enjoyed these seasons so much and some of the friendships the boys have made through being on these teams have become lasting ones...some have even become a part of our church family!

We'll see what the future holds as they grow...but for now, we have two ambitious little athletes in our family who are eager to add basketball to the list for next year!

Cell Phones...Are You TOO Attached???

2013-04-27T00:11:00.001-07:00

source

Cell Phones.

Another one of those morally neutral, potentially wonderful but often harmful cultural phenomena's I couldn't wait any longer to write about.

Some of you already stopped reading.

It's because you like your phone.

I get it.

You don't want to be told what to do, and I won't. I promise. If you're still there, I merely offer my viewpoint as a friend and fellow human-being who loves to connect with other human-beings. And the chances are, if you like your phone...then you're just like me. Just someone who likes to connect!

The difficult part of this whole cell phone thing, (and you know what I mean...the phone never leaving the hand epidemic going on these days) is that it takes you out of where you are, and to another place, with another person who isn't sitting or standing right next to you. That "other" person isn't bad, nor is it terrible to want to connect with them...but how does the person across from you feel when your cell phone, either by text or ring, automatically trump any conversation you were currently involved in with the flesh and blood sitting within feet of you at the moment?

Years ago (and yes, I know I sound old) cell phones were truly for emergencies. Somehow the world survived just fine going out to dinner or coffee without needing to be reached within seconds by anyone else with a phone, 24 hours a day. Now, it's different. It's somehow perfectly "acceptable" to detach from the people you are around, to scroll through FB or check e-mail mid-sentence even. I wish I was interrupted more by "emergency" phone calls...it would make me feel a whole lot better about the whole thing, but when you're in the middle of prayer with someone and the vibrations from their "silenced" phone keep cutting you off, I really think it's time to explore some "boundaries" for your technology addiction.

Let me make sure I'm honest here... I have a cell phone. I use my cell phone daily. I even check it throughout times of the day to see if someone has tried to reach me. But when I am in conversation with someone, my little friend does not need to be next to me on the table as a third presence in our party. It gets silenced, and goes in my bag. I want the person across from me to know that I value them. I'm here for THEM. Anyone else I love that may be trying to reach me, can wait until my time with my flesh-and-blood friend right across the table from me at that moment, is through.

Whew. I hope that wasn't too intense. Okay, maybe I do. I'm pretty passionate about people knowing how deeply loved and valued they are...about people having real connection with those around them...and while cell phones aren't wrong, I think they can make people feel like they just don't matter as much as the information, FB feed, email or text-er on the other end of the line.

John and I are going through a phase right now in our parenting, where we're trying to teach our kids not to interrupt us when we're in a conversation with someone else. They can touch our arm, we'll know they are there and have something to say, but we make every effort to finish the conversation we are in, before hearing from them. That will be a very hard lesson for them to learn, if the cultural norm continues to become one where a person will stop mid-sentence to check an alert on their phone.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt devalued recently, and I also know I'm not completely innocent in the matter at times either, but if we make effort to value the people we're around, I know we can avoid interactions like the one this video so poignantly captured...(thanks to my brother for posting it...I haven't laughed this loud in a loooong time!)

HE is our DNA...WHO we were meant to be.

2013-04-26T00:14:00.000-07:00

While on retreat weeks ago, God spoke to my heart.

The theme was the butterfly. Yes...feels a little 80's bathroom wallpaper, but the weekend quickly moved passed my pre-concieved notions and into my own life and heart in a deeply transforming way.

I learned that every caterpillar is created with imaginal disks. Imaginal disks hold information about who the caterpillar is intended to become. As it grows through the different stages of its life, the imaginal disks inside of the caterpillar lay a blueprint for their development and an image of who they were intended to be.

During a time of solitude during the weekend, we were given a page of scripture. Each verse on the page, a whisper of love God speaks over those He has created. Our assignment was to highlight a few verses that stood out in a meaningful way to us and once our time was up, we were to report back to our groups to share. Seems easy enough, right?

I looked down at the words on the page...things that were true of me as HIS child and I searched. Tears started to come, and I realized that before I could "put on" my identity in Christ, the Lord was giving me permission to "take off" who I was to everyone else in my world. I had to write them down...

I am...

...a chef for Cora with food allergies

...a speech therapist for Cole

...a teacher for Ryder

...a playmate for Rylee

...a daughter for my mother and father

...a grand-daughter for my grandparents

...a friend and prayer partner for my small group

...a director for our AWANA group at church

...a wife to John

...and finally that's where it stopped. There are many more hats I wear, but taking off the heaviest expectations gave me room to receive from the Lord my identity in HIM.

He spoke gently over me, words of love and grace, reminding me that like a caterpillar with imaginal disks guiding its transformation, I was born with His DNA. I was made for Him.

The roles I had to lay aside in that moment to hear from the Lord were not bad roles. They were and still are ones I treasure. They are a part of me, given by God and roles He empowers me to live out in His strength every day.

I love being a mother, a daughter, and grand-daughter, a friend, a leader and a wife. But most of all, if I don't wake up each morning with my soul outstretched to greet the One I was created for, then all the other hats come tumbling down.

I was made...for JESUS.

My heart was moved and spoken to in many ways over the days I retreated, but nothing as life-defining as the truth that I was made with the DNA of the King of Heaven knit into my very being.

I was made in the image of God, and if my deepest, most foundational purpose for living each day does not reach beneath the surface of my being to the very roots of that truth, I am living outside of the reason I was created...for God, by God.

It's in my DNA...my imaginal disks have the image of Christ.

To become like HIM is my highest aim and purpose for waking up each morning.

Oh, how I need to be reminded of my first love....maybe today, you do too. So give yourself permission to take off any role or expectation you feel defines you today, just long enough for your imaginal disk to remind you, that you were made for more than this...

You were made for a KING.

Mom...it's okay to RETREAT.

2013-04-04T14:32:00.004-07:00

I was BLESSED to be able to go to the women's retreat with my church a few weekends ago, and to try and explain in words how God moved in my heart and the hearts of others there would be impossible...but I'm a dreamer, so I'm going to try!

First of all, just being away from everything familiar for a few days was a good thing. A very good thing. Yes, I love my family and every single child God has given me along the way...but you already know that. So instead of telling you how awkward it felt to climb in the car with my friend Mandy and all our luggage, sound equipment and guitars instead of my husband, four kids and all the stuff we normally haul with us for a weekend away, I'll just say...It felt WEIRD! It was weird to leave them behind with a BUSY weekend schedule to hold to. Of all weekends, I left John with three baseball games, and a concert to navigate through while I was away soaking in hot springs with my friends. SO weird. It's not like me. Really...I promise it's not. :)

Any other year, I would've respectfully declined the invitation to retreat. Life is just FULL with our little ones in tow and John and I love our weekends. To give one up almost seems impossible these days. But when my friend Gina, asked me if I'd lead worship for the retreat, I knew somewhere deep down, I had to go. This was deeper than schedules. I felt God calling me to say, "YES."

And so, as I try to be in the habit of doing, I followed the lead I felt in my heart and said YES back.

Mandy and I practiced and planned, and were excited and honored to lead our group of 40 women as we retreated to hear from Him for the weekend, away from our "normal" and into whatever He had in mind.

We went there with a "plan" and the Lord respectfully blew our plan out of the water and spoke gentle, loving, complete transformation directly to every heart that said "YES" when He asked them to come.

The first night I had to take a deep breath, and honestly had the hardest time shaking off how worked up I was just GETTING there. Like I said, I was leaving John with a doozy of a weekend with the kids to try and navigate, so Friday morning before I left, I was ran around like a crazy person trying to do all our weekend chores in a few hours just to leave him with less "to do" while I was gone.

At one point, (I'm not sure how it happened but I think Rylee was blamed for this one...) I walked into the girls' room and there were clothes strewn about from one wall clear to the other wall. Clothes that we had all worked for a LONG time to fold, were no longer in nice neat little piles ready to be put away. There was no place to walk, no clear place to even start in on the mess before me.

*Deep breath*

My anxiety rose as I glanced down at my watch and I saw John was supposed to get home any minute...I really wanted him to feel refreshed, walking into a clean house as I gracefully walked out with my bags in hand for the weekend away. Yikes! This was NOT the picture I had in mind to hand him when he walked in.

My frustration got the best of me as I started marching through the house ordering everyone around me (all under the age of 7) to hurry and CLEAN up! It was not pretty. I was embarrassed. My plan to "bless" I started realizing was actually a plan to "impress." I wanted to show him I could hand him the kind of house I like to be given when I'm away...that perfection is possible. Well, it's not and I didn't. There was no perfect house given to anyone that day. In fact we were all a little ragged from trying.

And then, like he always does, my husband walked through the door and instead of balking at my lack of organization or my inability to "get my act together" with the laundry that morning, he gracefully walked into the messiest part of the house (the place I felt the most shame) sat right down in the middle of it all and began folding clothes.

Tears streaming down my face, I apologized over and over telling him about all of my good intentions. How I wanted him to have less to do when I was away,
how I wanted to make it easy for him to let me go.

He took my face in his hands, and without an ounce of judgement or rebuke he spoke the words he's spoken over me many times before over the past 11 years...

"I don't want a perfect house. I just want YOU."

Little did I know at the time, I'd hear those words again later that weekend from the One I needed to hear them from the most. The One whose voice clears my vision and strengthens my song in the most gentle way I know.

The way I am loved by my husband has always given me a glimpse into the way I'm loved by God. Unconditionally and with a deep and intentional grace.

The words he spoke before I left the house prepared my heart for the deep work of the Holy Spirit that would happen a day later when I was far away from all the tangible mess but still very, very close to me....the messiest place of all.

The moral of Part 1??? Moms...you CAN retreat. If God calls you to go...don't fret, don't stir up a pro con list, don't feel terrible, just know that the work the Lord is about to do with you while you are "away from it all" is the very thing the family you love needs. A new YOU. Only God can do that...

Soon to come...

Part 2: Transformation: Jesus speaks over me

A call for Cole...

2013-03-08T00:13:00.002-08:00

Isn't he cute? He lost his first tooth in December (quite by accident while wrestling with his brother...the hole is still there) and was so proud to be just like, Ryder. Can you see the joy in his eyes? It's always there...a passion for people and the world around him. It's no wonder that God's given us a specific call for our boy recently, because it really does fit.

I tend to like a predictable routine. Yes, there are times it's fun to be spontaneous, but for the most part, I really like to know what is going to happen and to do all I can to be prepared for it. And then, if it goes well, I like to repeat it over and over until it's as natural to me as breathing. Ah, yes...finding a good, solid, life-giving routine is a wonderful thing.

This was our first year homeschooling, and we've all loved it. Not because it's always been easy, but because we've all grown in ways we could've never anticipated and as the year went on, it was clear we were where we were called to be. For this season of life with the family God has given us, it's just worked...very WELL!

I've loved how close my kids have become since they've had time to learn, grow and play together.

I've loved how we've actually been able to say "yes" to more activities for the kids while feeling less pulled in a million different directions because we spend the first part of our day together. We actually look forward to the commitments of AWANA, team sports, dance and gymnastics classes that give each child a place to explore their giftings.

I've loved how intentionally I've been able to parent my children, helping them grow through moments of pride and disobedience rather than having to respond so much later to a note from a teacher.

I've loved being able to walk through the Bible with the boys this year as we've had time after lunch each day to sit and read together. I've made connections in my own understanding of the Word that I've never made before just because we've had time to make it priority.

I've loved being able to work at our own pace through subjects, giving them the time and attention they needed in the areas they struggle and also letting them zoom past parts that they already knew so we could maximize our time in new discoveries and learning.

It really has been a JOY to be home as a family this year, and not a plan John or I intended to change. For those of you who've been asking...the answer is a resounding, YES! We ALL really love homeschooling!

So, you can imagine my surprise when the Lord started nudging my heart in a different way for Cole next year. When school starts next year, Cole will be six years old, and a kindergartener. Up to this point I've been planning on enrolling him in the same independent study, home-based charter school that Ryder is enrolled in this year. Since my boys have summer birthdays, I've always thought it best to wait to start them in Kindergarten until they were six. Ryder waited and so it's now Cole's turn to begin!

It was all arranged. We would enroll Cole in Sky Mountain Charter School and he'd be an official student with Ryder next year at home, monitored by our educational specialist. I had the curriculum picked out, ready to order, and then God began stirring my heart in a different direction for my Cole.

It was as clear to me as the call we heard to homeschool Ryder this year...God was asking us to put Cole in school next year for Kindergarten. You need to understand, that this is not what I wanted. I was excited to continue and build on what we had going with our family this year, not change plans entirely for one of my sweetest students!

But it was clear, and when I responded with confusion and hesitation, God graciously gave me assurance that I had heard right..."I want you to share him."

And through weeks of prayer, John and I felt it confirmed in both our hearts that God was asking us to trust Him with our Cole...again.

Under very different circumstances, we've trusted Him with our boy before.

We've held him in tests while being told...he hears nothing.

We trusted God then.

We've watched him wheeled away into "elective" surgery only to return with a swollen face and wrapped head.

We trusted God then.

At three years old we let him go to school for 6 hours a day to get the therapy he needed to use his new ears.

We trusted God then.

We signed him up for soccer and T-ball teams, letting him navigate the challenge of hearing teammates and coaches on the field and keeping his "ears" on while sweating like a little 5 year old boy should.

We trusted God then.

And now we trust, that when God asks us to send our boy into a classroom full of curious, opinion-forming kids, that God has a PLAN for those Cole will get to know next year.

The past opportunities we've have to trust God with our boy, they've all been for his benefit, and God was so faithful. Now, we feel Him saying...

"I want you to share him. Others need to know that those around them who were created differently, are worth getting to know. I made them in MY image. When you love them, you love me, and loving ME is what changes your life."

We would love for you to pray with us for Cole's next school year. We will start the IEP process soon, and update you when we have that meeting, but until then, we are believing that God has placed an important call on Cole's life, (as He has the rest of His kids!) and we are agents of helping Cole hear and follow the way God has planned for him to go.

We're finishing up a kindergarten curriculum with him this year, so he'll be prepped and ready to take on a new, noisier classroom environment academically but there are also many options for us to weight as we prepare. We covet your prayers through the process.

The bottom line with the schooling thing with us is this...

God made them. He is graciously sharing them with us, giving us all an opportunity to become more dependent upon HIM every moment of the journey.

We. trust. HIM.

We have four kids. All unique and we will pray every year around this time for the Lord to show us what He wants for each of them, each year.

Next year, it seems to be shaping up like this:

Ryder: Homeschool (when given the option he was VERY excited to keep doing what we're doing)

Cole: Neighborhood public school

Cora and Rylee: Monday, Wednesday, Friday half-day preschool

I'm excited. I love following Jesus. He always has the best plan, and I'm honored to be a part of it all...

"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus..."

A SONG of my heart...

2013-02-21T23:14:00.000-08:00

Lately, I can share with you how my heart has been through the songs that have lingered there. I've felt much like a good cup of tea, seeping long over truths spoken so perfectly to my heart through each song that has drawn me in.

Don't we all need to be drawn in...and usually that also means being drawn away from other things, fixing our gaze only on what breathes life. That has been me. Beginning my mornings and ending my days in only the things that will never fade. His love for me. His provision for my life in times of darkness. His presence stronger still in the midst of these songs that are so precious because of the hope they hold as they speak of who God IS.

This song came to me from a friend. I had missed church a few Sunday mornings ago when it was first shared with those gathered. I had been struggling lately, and knowing that, my friend sent me this song over e-mail. One time through was all it took to bring me to tears and wish I could put it on repeat for hours with my face to the ground and heart open to receive who HE is to me...my protector.

After preparing for teaching my Sparks (Kindergarten-2nd graders) that day at AWANA, I realized I was scheduled to teach them about a passage in 2 Kings chapter 6 that was a REALLY incredible story I had never heard before. It was one where Elisha and his servant stood before an enemy army much bigger than their own. Overwhelmed, Elisha's servant grew fearful of the seemingly impossible task ahead of them, considering the size and number of the approaching army. Elisha, being a prophet, saw much more than what his servant could see with his human eyes, and prayed that God would open his servant's eyes to see the situation for what is really was. God did, and immediately Elisha's servant was able to see the armies of angels God had surrounded the enemy with that far outnumbered their foe. Seeing the TRUTH changed everything.

Knowing the same friend who had sent me this song was also struggling with an incredibly difficult circumstance in her life, I sent her this story, praying she would be encouraged and reminded that God never leaves us to fight our battles on our own.

Niether one of us realized it at the moment, but we had both given each other the same story. The song she had given me was written with this same story from scripture in mind. God used Elisha to remind us BOTH that the battle we both felt so intensely for different reasons in our life, was already won.

When days are dark and hope seems like a distant light instead one close and familiar, illuminating my next step...I let this song ring through my house and remind my heart what my mind has been trained to know since I was small. And I sing...

I know who goes before me...I know who stands behind.
The God of Angel Armies, is always by my side.

The One who reigns forever...He is a FRIEND of mine (amazing!)
The God of Angel Armies, is always by my side!

I pray you are blessed by the same truth today, right in the middle of your own circumstances...knowing there is nothing and no one to fear when we know WHO fights in our place...

Cora's Food Allergies and the best Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free, Egg-free, Vegan Bread Recipe

2013-02-21T00:13:00.003-08:00

Over Christmas break, we were able to have an extensive allergy test done for Cora. We are SO grateful God made a way through discounts and generous gifts from others for her to have this test done.

She was a trooper, getting four vials of blood drawn to send to Florida where it was analyzed by the ALCAT team and 10 business days later, we had the report in our hand.

Her sensitivities are broken into levels, ranging from severe to mild. Since I'll begin posting recipes that have worked for her, I thought it'd be helpful for you to know what she has a sensitivity to...

Severe:

Hops, Lima Beans, Rosemary

Moderate:

Artichoke, Bell Peppers, Button Mushrooms, Celery, Chili Pepper, Cumin, Egg White, Iceburg Lettuce, Olive, Safflower, Soybean, Strawberry, Swordfish, Watermelon, Gluten, Barley, Rye, Malt, Spelt, Oat, Wheat, Casein, Whey, Cow's Milk, Goat's Milk

Mild:

Anchovy, Apple, Avacado, Brewer's Yeast, Brussel Sprouts, Buckwheat, Caraway, Chicken Liver, Chicken, Coffee, Egg Yolk, Honey, Kiwi, Lentil Bean, Mung Bean, Mustard, Nectarine, Onion, Papaya, Pine Nut, Red/Green Leaf Lettuce, Romaine Lettuce, Scallions, Squash, String Beans, White Potato, Zucchini Squash

With all those in mind, here's one of the recipes I've found for Cora that we LOVE. Not only does Cora love it, but we ALL do! One of the most missed food items for someone with a gluten, egg, soy, egg allergy is BREAD! I am so grateful to have found such a delicious replacement for her from HERE.

The only modification I made for Cora is using grapeseed oil instead of olive oil (since olive is one of her moderate allergies).

Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free, Egg-free, Vegan Bread

This recipe will make 2 loaves.

Combine the following in a large bowl:

1 1/2 cups millet flour
1/2 cup teff flour
1 cup sorghum flour
1 cup cornstarch (or double the potato starch if you can’t eat corn)
1 cup potato starch
1 cup tapioca flour
4 tsp xanthan gum
1 Tbsp salt
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp active dry yeast (not rapid rise)

Add:

4 tsp grapeseed oil
3 1/4 cup warm water (not hot)

The original recipe asked you to use a mixer (which I don't have) so using a silicone spatula and just mixing all the ingredients together has worked great! Super easy!

Once mixed, split between two well greased bread pans and let rise until just over the top of the pans. For a shortcut, place a mug of water into the microwave and heat it up until it boils (and you see steam). Place the mug in the corner of the microwave and quickly put both bread pans inside, closing the door. Now you only have to wait 30 minutes for the dough to rise instead of hours :) I like saving time when I can!

Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Cover both pans with foil and continue baking for another 35-45 minutes until a toothpick in the center of the bread comes out relatively clean. It is a stickier type of bread so you may see a few sticky crumbs on your toothpick, but not too much at all.

***

It's probably best to wait for it to cool before you cut it, but who can do that once the house smells like a bakery and your 4 year old has been sitting on a stool watching it bake for the past half-hour counting down the minutes until it's ready!

We usually finish nearly one whole loaf at dinner that night and then the other loaf lasts me almost a week as an addition to Cora's meals. Any longer than that, and you'll want to make a new batch since it gets old pretty quickly without preservatives.

So yes...there are a lot of ingredients I've never heard of before in this bread, and most of them are quite expensive, but I've found buying them bulk from Amazon to be a great way to go since I end up making it fairly often around here!

My little girl has adjusted SO well to her new restrictions and instead of being sad, I actually think she feels quite special. Aren't we all? She takes each meal in stride and the more I work to find alternatives for her that work, the more I find we bond over this whole crazy thing called food allergies.

Oh! And I almost forgot to mention...her skin is looking GREAT these days!!! I am SO grateful her eczema has calmed down incredibly. I'll fill you in what seems to be working there in another post soon, but the number one reason it is as good as it is right now, is because of what she is NOT eating.

Thank you JESUS for answers for our girl!!! I am so grateful for the other mothers of kids with food allergies that you've placed in my life who have coached me along this new journey. You have used them to send us down the right path for her, and I couldn't be more grateful. I pray her story can bring hope to another parent sitting on the other side of their screen who is searching for answers for their child too. It's amazing how the journey of parenting children with unique needs can also draw us closer to the One who made them and who never makes any mistakes. Thank for the the gift of placing her little life under our little roof. I pray you give us continued wisdom and discernment to raise well who you've entrusted us with. You are GOOD! Amen.

Why I left Facebook...again. And the Valentine's Day party that followed.

2013-02-14T01:48:00.000-08:00

I've been quiet lately about my heart journey in this space.

I think it's because of many things, four of whom are sleeping down the hall as I write.

We've been busy. Life has been full. Busy with life and full of good things, but busy none-the-less and I think this photo sums it up pretty well. When life whirs past us and we feel like we're just sledding downhill trying our best to hang on...what we find at the bottom may surprise us! The whole time down, I didn't hear a peep out of my Rylee Joy. I had no idea she wasn't loving the ride as much as Cora and I. It was only once we slowed to a stop that I could see my girl for where she was. Not a happy camper and in desperate need of her Mama.

This analogy relates pretty well with some thoughts I have about my pace of life lately.

I recently left Facebook...again. The first time I left I wrote about it HERE and it's grown to be my most read post ever. It's apparent that more than one person could relate to my unhealthy relationship with social media!

I reactivated my account before this past summer Olympic games to follow the journey of a friend who was hopeful to make the Olympic team for the final time in his career. His wife was going to be updating the rest of us back home via Facebook, so I wanted to be sure to stay informed and reactivated my account. Well...the Olympics came and went and my Facebook account remained active.

I said it once and I still believe it's true. There is nothing wrong with Facebook. It is morally neutral. But just like chocolate and ice cream (of which I am a BIG fan) too much of a good thing is still...TOO much!

What can I say??? I love people. I really do. I love hearing about how things are going, sitting down with a good friend over coffee and hearing about how God is stirring their heart most recently. So for me, Facebook served as a counterfeit version of community. I would get random snippets of life mixed in with occasional significant requests for prayer or support. Though I truly do miss the latter, the price I had to pay for it was too high. I became detached from those I'm called to first in the name of the rare heart connection with someone many miles away. Precious, yes. But at what cost?

I came across a quote from Mother Teresa that sums it up pretty well for me...

"Never worry about the numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you."
- Mother Teresa

She has encapsulated the way my heart is beating these days. God has wooed me in a way less traveled that looks less at numbers on a screen and more into the eyes of those nearest me in all facets of my life.

Instead of planning a Valentine's Day series for my blog this year, the kids and I planned a neighborhood Valentine's Day party. We hung homemade signs throughout our townhouse complex inviting those we live nearest to, to gather with us this year. As we were planning, I realized I have quite the party planners on my hands! Cole kept giving us more ideas for the party he was so excited to have.

"Mom, we have to have balloons and games too!" he must of told me sixteen times as we were dreaming up ideas for our time together.

The most transparent part of our party planning came when the kids asked who we would invite....

"What about our friends from church?"

"No, not this time," I responded.

"Then who?" they wondered.

"We're going to invite all the kids who live close to us. Our neighbors."

"But what if we don't even know them that well?"

"This will help us get to know them better. Remember your verse from Cubbies last week, Cole? Love your neighbor as yourself..."

"Oh, yeah!"

***

And so we will...

A party is happening this Valentine's Day...simple and sweet. There will be cookies, there will be crafts, and a homemade game dreamt up by my boys (pin the heart on Heart-man), and most importantly...there will be neighbors who may not yet be friends, but hopefully someday, will.

And all this, because God has called my gaze away from the masses in cyberspace in order to fix more intentionally on the real, live, living breathing world around me.

For the sake of my kids, for the sake of my neighbors, for the sake of the Kingdom of God that has already come in my own world, I open my eyes wide enough to see the life around me.

Maybe someday I'll return to good ole' Facebook. But for now, I know, because I am one who was made for engagement of the most genuine kind, it's time again to say goodbye.

I pray you have a much healthier relationship with social media if you choose to engage. I'll be the first to give you my blessing to leave this blog's Facebook page if it is an added source of distraction to you. The only reason it remains while my personal page does not, is to encourage those who still feel they can remain on Facebook without it pulling them elsewhere. It is not the distraction to me that my other page was at all. But strange as it seems, it would do my heart good, to receive messages of followers who have decided to leave as well. To see the numbers drop off the cyber family only to reappear in the world around them would be a beautiful step of obedience and one I support whole-heartedly.

I would gladly lose friends on Facebook if it meant that the time usually spent browsing my status updates is now spent in conversations with the ones God intentionally placed you near.

I like to think big, and sometimes when I'm struggling to gain eternal perspective on a seemingly trivial topic, God takes me on a journey outside of myself and into a place of space and time that never ends.

Eternal perspective.

If I were to gain thousands of "followers" on Facebook or Twitter and lead the masses in the name of Christ yet my neighbor doesn't even know my name...is that love? Hmmm...I know this is sticky, and I don't mean to toss judgement around about those who have a "following" of sorts, but I would say that those who care the least about numbers are the most worth "following" in the first place.

Jesus had a few close friends. He loved the individual well. He took every opportunity to seek His Father's leading...to listen, to speak, to heal, to encourage and always for the glory of the One who sent Him.

And on Valentine's Day...the day of love...and the first day of Lent...when we give up to remember what He gave...we gather with those God has intentionally placed us around. Our front doors face one another, but how often our our eyes and ears closed to the ones He's placed us nearest to.

Lord, my heart longs to follow in the footsteps of your son. I want to stay soft, moldable and responsive to your leading....every step being a significant one in this journey of grace. The same grace you have for me, you have for my neighbor...the difference is, she doesn't know it yet. Help her to know how you love by the way I live...lingering long in conversation, learning to listen to where you're moving below the surface, opening up our home to moments of spontaneous hospitality and watching as you work in us and around us. It is a gift to know and serve you. Help us to love as you loved as we embrace this Lenten season...with dignity, intentionality, patience and grace.

Christmas and New Years 2012-13

2013-02-09T00:54:00.003-08:00

Well here is the Christmas post that is LOOOOONG overdue, coming to you days before Valentine's Day.

I will say, I feel somewhat comforted by the fact that it hailed at our house today. Yes, even in sunny Southern California, it rains and hails and on a day like today, it seemed fitting to finish up my Christmas post!

So grab a little hot chocolate, sit in front of the fire and finish looking through these memories before the sun comes out and it's 75 degrees again (like last weekend!)

Here it is...

~ Christmas and New Years 2012-13 ~

This year, Christmas was extra special, since we were able to spend time with ALL the kids' aunts and uncles for the first time since Rylee was born! We started up north with John's side of the family and though we were with them a week, the time flew by as we soaked up precious moments and made more sweet memories together until we had to go...

~ The whole clan ~

...even Auntie Erin coming in from Arizona and Uncle Michael and Aunt Emily from Oxford!

Grammie and her girl...

Happy boys...

Grammie, Papa and Rylee Joy...

Together again!

The Christmas Tree photo of 2012...

(I'll explain Cole's glasses later...no, they're not his!)

Attempting a group hug, which quickly turned into a pile on the floor...

Gingerbread House making with Uncle Michael and Aunt Emma...

Grammie's 60th Birthday Party...Surprise!

Friends and Family celebrating Grammie!!!

We woke up one morning to....SNOW in the backyard!

It was the first time in 20 years, John remembers this happening...

Games with Aunt Emily...

And, Cole wearing Uncle Michael's old glasses from when HE was a little boy. We took the lenses out so he won't do any permanent damage...Cole wore these ALL week!

Reading with Grammie...

A family gathering wouldn't be complete without the brothers' serenade...

After dinner, Uncle Michael told the funniest story about a memory from childhood...

{these moments are priceless!}

Aunt Emily is now "Dr. Emily" and was taking the boys through the most interesting study she did as part of her time in Oxford, studying how children perceive God. It was fascinating to watch her with the boys and the listen to them answer the questions she asked about God!

More smartie-pants in our family! Auntie Erin is finishing up her masters in Speech and Language Pathology and Uncle Michael is now "Dr. Michael" having finished his doctorate in Theology from Oxford! Whew! Oh...and there's Cole in those glasses again, this time adding Auntie Erin's hat!

The kids performed a Christmas play of the Nativity...

{Ryder started out reading from Luke 2}

Grandpa Fuzzy watches on...

Cora sings "Away in a Manger" while Ryder plays it on the piano...

The angel tells the shepherds to go see the KING!

The sweet audience...

As usual, the kids were spoiled with presents!

Soooooo thankful...

...The Family Photo Shoot of 2012...

Just the girls...

With Grammie...

Handsome boys...

Fun Auntie Erin!

With her boy...the reason she's almost a Speech and Language Pathologist!

Giggling with Grammie and Papa...

...The Whole Crew...

What a GIFT it was to be together again! There was a time, we all lived in the same state, many of us just minutes away from each other's front door. Now that we are we are all states and even oceans away, we take each moment spent together and treasure it as the God-given blessing it is.

We love you, family and can't wait until the next time we're all under one roof again!

***

~ New Year's at Hume Lake ~

It's been a tradition in our family, for the past 20 years, to spend New Year's at Hume Lake Christian Camp. This year we were so thankful to have my brother and his new wife and son join us for the first time! It was a bit of a different year, however, since Cole got sick early in the trip, and stayed in his room most of the time. We took turns staying in the room with him during meals.

Gramma and Cole read while the rest of us head to breakfast...

We were so thankful for SNOW!

Derek, Laura and sweet little Liam...

Sledding is always a favorite...

Even Auntie Laura and Liam went for a run!

Can you tell who loved it more?

{Sorry Laura, but Liam's little look of glee was too cute to pass up!}

The kids just LOVE their new cousin!

He's stil deciding on all of us, though...

{one of our favorite faces!}

As you can tell, this one had fun in the snow...

Mother, son walk...

Hayrides and Hot Chocolate!

A little slice of heaven...

She's a brave one...

Cora with her rice cakes instead of the pizza they always have...oh the joys of food allergies!

Happy New Year!

After years of spending New Year's at Hume since I was in Jr. High, this year was our last Family Camp. Leaving this year, I left so grateful for the GIFT these past 20 years have been...years that toward the end, my children built memories in too. The boys especially, have absolutely LOVED the time we've spent at Hume Lake over the years and will always remember the traditions we held here that were so meaningful to us all. Thank you, Mom and Dad...for beginning a tradition of intentionally coming together as a family every year, to start it out together.

Though we say goodbye to Hume, we know many more memories together are ahead!

Thank you Jesus, for family.

We don't take one moment together for granted.

All you give us is your grace to us...

and for time spent together in your creation, we are thankful!!!

Bringing in Valentine's Day as a FAMILY...

2013-01-30T23:22:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and we're getting ready to start our advent journey to this special day. The first thing we did this year, was make these luminaries using repurposed applesauce, jam and peanut butter jars. I'm a little obsessed with saving jars these days! My mantle loves a new painted row of jars for each season that swings by, and the kids look forward to it too!

These will hold their little lights up until the night before Valentine's Day when we'll turn them into our "mailboxes." It's difficult to see in this photo taken my my iPad camera, but each heart has a name in the center. We'll put notes of encouragement to each other in the jars and then read them to each other the next day!

***

The following post was written a year ago, and I thought I'd revive it to share our tradition with you. We will add one heart each day, studying what God says about LOVE out of 1 Corinthians 13 as Valentine's Day approaches...

{I especially love the first sentence, written a year before a started Homeschooling, when I had kids at separate schools and feeling so disheveled! Enjoy this blast from the past...}

Written in February, 2012...

I loved having the kids home yesterday for Lincoln's Birthday. I really do soak up and TREASURE these moments when we're all under one roof...

We actually had time to update our fun little "tree" we've had up in our living room for a few months. I made it from Trader Joe's bags a little brown paint and some staples...all things already in my house :)

It's been our Thankful Tree for Thanksgiving...Advent Tree for Christmas...and now, our Love Tree for Valentine's Day...

First...we painted the paper before cutting it into hearts :)

Some paintings were too sweet to cut :)

Then, we printed 1 Corinthians 13:4-9a (NASB) and cut them into strips...

Next, I drew hearts on the back and watched sweet little hands cut their own shape around my lines.

{Gotta snack while we work!}

Hole's punched, string tied, and the verse reads like so across the branches...

It's all true...2 Timothy 3:16 says All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Just going through each heart with with the kids today and helping them understand what God says love IS, was sooooooo good. It was especially hilarious to have Cole and Cora break into a squabble right in the midst of our little chat about love. Because scripture was hanging right before our eyes, I was able to direct us back to God's words very quickly :) Cole has had a REALLY short fuze lately...what a great opportunity to minister to his spirit.

"Cole...God says love is not easily angered and is patient. You need to be more patient with Cora, and not get angry so quickly." His attention was fixed, and when I spoke of God's word, his eyes melted. Magic words? Better. God's Words. Was the rest of the day without conflict? No. But the seeds have been planted, and well watered over time, God promises they won't come back void.

It's do good to be in His Word...and I really these sweet little hearts reminding me of what is TRUE about love. If I say I LOVE my kids, my husband, my neighbor then I pray all these things are true of me. Lord, by your Spirit, make them true.

2013 Word of the Year: Remain

2013-01-29T23:06:00.001-08:00

When I asked God to give me a focus, a vision for the year ahead of me, I felt Him whisper this word....REMAIN.

I'm not sure if you can relate, but usually for me it's sometime around now that my New Year's Resolutions are starting to grow a little old. Yeah...a whole 29 days. Like the yellowed leaves of a vineyard once alive with fruit, the fresh excitement I felt a month ago for patterns and commitments that I knew were LIFE-GIVING to me, start to come under fire from my flesh.

But in my weakest moments...when the days are long and my flesh craves comfort over discipline...God says, REMAIN.

When my alarm goes off, I peel back my eyes to a darkened sky and I'm tempted to miss my life-giving morning routine...God says, REMAIN.

When the thoughts in my head tell me I'm failing, and that I don't have enough for the day before me...God says REMAIN.

When I'm tempted to react to my kids in anger rather than give them the same patient, steadfast discipline that is shown to me by my heavenly Father daily, God whispers to my weary soul...REMAIN.

I walk through life with a heart that beats passionately for eternal things that will not fade away. I live to see people truly come ALIVE as they place more and more faith in a God who will never leave them. A God who promises to REMAIN.

In this phase of my life...homeschooling, raising four unique creations of God...I find myself grasping for solid ground, a LOT. Now, more than any other time of my life I am learning to trust God in a minute by minute sort of way. When I was younger, I remember trusting God with "BIG" things, like my future...who I would marry and what I would "be" when I grew up. As big as those things seemed then, I can honestly say that it has never been more difficult and felt more necessary to trust God in my life as it is now. The stakes are high. There are 5 of them. And I love every one of them.

There's not a whole lot of margin for my flesh to have it's way. There are no breaks. There is no "me" time. And before you write and tell me how unhealthy that is, I have to say that it is only in these times...when the pressure is high and the fire feels it's hottest, that I truly find how committed I am to this journey I'm on with Jesus.

Is the God I preach to others, the One I cling to on my darkest days?

Is the One I sing to on a Sunday morning the same God who sees me through the toughest moments with my kids when no one else is around?

Do I choose to walk steadfastly in the way I know leads to life, or allow the enemy to distract me from the path set before me?

...and He calls me to REMAIN.

My hope for this year does not rest in my own accomplishments, or those of my husband or kids. Though it is wonderful to set goals and see them fulfilled, my hope is in the One who promises to REMAIN with me through my moments (both successes and failures), and calls me to do the same.

John 15:4-11

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!

When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love.

When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!

Oh Lord, may your JOY be known in our lives this year and this moment. Help us to REMAIN in you. To choose YOU when our flesh wants to give up. Not for our glory, but so that others may know that we are loved by a God who never. gives. up. Help us to REMAIN in you, so that your life giving presence may remain in us. I know 5 people, in my life - big and small - who will be grateful that you do! Here's to rejoicing that I can REMAIN in you because you chose me FIRST.

Introducing...Inspired Hand-Stamped Jewelry and Valentine's Day GIVEAWAY!

2013-01-26T23:08:00.001-08:00

It all started years ago when I wanted to give my mom and mother-in-law necklaces to wear, inscribed with the names of their grandchildren. As I looked into what I really liked, I just couldn't bring myself to spend the kind of money they were asking! Being a one-income family, we are always looking for ways to save money, so after some coaching from my friend Jenn (whose jewelry you MUST check out too!) I began ordering the supplies necessary to make my own necklaces to give as Christmas presents this past year!

In order to help pay for the start-up costs, I ended up making over 40 necklaces this past Christmas for friends to give to their loved ones. Whew! I learned a lot and gave all my first customers nice discounts as they bravely trusted me with making their gifts during the "learning stage."

And so, Inspired Hand Stamped Jewelry was born! Many of my friends encouraged me to start an Etsy shop to give them different payment options, so (drumroll please.....) yesterday was the grand-opening of Inspired Hand-Stamped Jewelry on Etsy!

Yes...I know...I'm excited too!

And, what better way to have a shop opening than to have a GIVEAWAY right before Valentine's Day. I know...it's perfect! The winner will receive a necklace with a pewter charm of their choice.

After searching many different types of metals, I've found I love working with pewter! Pewter is a softer, less expensive metal, so I'm able to make beautiful, meaningful jewelry without the high prices tag. I also make Sterling Silver charms I for those "once-in-a-lifetime" gifts that many people love giving their wives, moms, daughters and grandmas!

I don't have any shown in my shop currently, but I can stamp Bible Verses, on the larger charms or for those of you with a "Word-of-the-year" that you feel God has given you for this theme in your life...I can stamp those too on any charm shown. The possibilities are endless! The truth is, if you have names, words or verses you want to share with the world...I can help you wear them!

There's just enough time for me to whip up an adorable Valentine's Day gift for you...(ladies, do your husbands a favor and tell them what you want! I promise...they like it better this way!)

There are several ways for you to enter, and I would SO appreciate you helping me spread the word about my new side/hobby business to your friends and family as well! Any purchase made will greatly bless our family and their growing diverse needs...Thank you friends!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy 4th Birthday Cora Grace!

2013-01-22T07:53:00.000-08:00

She arrived a week after her due date predicted she would and she's kept us on our toes ever since!

On Sunday she turned four, and in the years she's been ours she's not only graced our house with a little pink, but taught me a thing or two along the way about JOY, drama, patience and unconditional love.

Dear Cora Grace,

Everyday you wake up and teach me more about what it means to be a called "Mommy" to a little girl...to one who is happiest wearing pink, frills, bracelets and curly pig tails everyday she possibly can! You take each moment and live it to the fullest, whether you are alone...

at school with your friends...

singing in a concert...

playing with your friends...

taking a bath with your sister...

or just being the funniest little blondie we know...

On your 4th birthday, I want you to know that my very favorite thing in the whole world is when I get to see you being exactly the girl God made YOU to be.

Part of being YOU includes...

Making up your own songs to narrate the soundtrack of your life...(even if they are sung throughout entire soccer games!)...

Being just as happy in the spotlight on the dance floor as you are cheering your brothers on from the sidelines...

Leaping up with the answer when the teacher asks a question in Sunday School with JOY...

Taking on the sweetest "motherly" role with your sister...your babies...really anyone smaller than you :)

Delighting in the victories of others...

Being kind when you share and play with your brothers (says Cole)

Being very cute and having a good heart and pretending a lot (says Ryder)

Praying with a genuine belief that God is listening and wants to hear us thank Him!

We love you Cora Grace. You have a LOVE for life that is contagious! I believe God has good plans for you and will use the way he created you a creative little ball of JOY for His glory.

Happy 4th Birthday, sweet pink little princess!!! :)

Cole reads...

2013-01-09T00:55:00.002-08:00

Watching my boy read makes my heart happy on so many levels.

He's developed such a desire to read since he sees what the freedom his brother has to pick up a book and devour the story all on his own. He loves a good story and lately, he really wants to learn to read them on his own. I think it may have something to do with the incredible imagination God has planted in his sweet little head too. Books and the stories in them give flight to the ideas swarming around in our thoughts, and if there is anything Cole loves is a good imaginary journey...I absolutely love this boy.

We were reading through his BOB Books this morning, (not at ALL for the story value) since he has learned a few of them and he loves to flip through their pages, reading the words all on his own. This morning, I asked if I could record him reading, so I could show everyone what an incredible reader he'd become. His face lit up and a smile broke out from ear to ear as he opened the first book and began "performing" as I've never seen before...

So this is for YOU...(Miss Amy, Kristin, Marcia, Carolyn, Shawnda and Holly). For his therapists of the past and prayer warriors of the present...thank you.

Not only are you about to hear one of BOB's finest stories (brace yourself...the plots are riveting) but the reader in the following film is quite the entertainer. The entire script was captured improvised on the spot. We have a budding actor on our hands :) Enjoy...

...One book about Mat

And another about Sam...

***

...Outtakes, too cute to cut...

More soon to come :)

(I'll read him any comments you leave!)

Homeschooling: For such a time as this...

2013-01-06T22:43:00.002-08:00

I've had a homeschooling blog brewing for a while and this isn't it. The one in my mind is full of pictures and stories of our experiences for anyone out there thinking about jumping on this crazy roller coaster ride of home-educating, but that one will have to wait. It will come...just not just yet.

Instead, I'm sitting on what I feel like is my homeschooling New Years Eve. Tomorrow we begin our 2nd semester of homeschooling and I before I print out all kinds of goodness for my budding Kindergartner, I had to stop, pause and reflect on who God has called me to be for my kids, my family and anyone else He brings our way...

Math, Science, Writing, Language Arts, Reading, even Bible, Spanish, Piano and Art all have a place in my Daily Planner for my kids each day. We have a rhythm to our days (mostly to keep ME on track) and each subject has its place...but sometimes in all that well-intented planning, I forget about the greatest gift I can give my children that is far from any page or planner.

Sitting in my chair, I'm breathing in deep the responsibility I've been entrusted with once again to give them what no book apart from the Bible ever could...It's one I don't take lightly for a second, but somewhere in the middle of a busy day, it gets lost. Between the laundry, and crying 2 year old, I miss my highest calling in my role to my kids. It gets shuffled around in my humanness, and somewhere between my head and my heart, I miss the point completely. I start to panic at the imperfection of it all...all these little bodies trying to grow up and work out their individuality in the middle of my rhythm of patterns, rules and structure and sometimes, or more than sometimes...it just. isn't. that. pretty.

Growing up is messy, and I'm reminded tonight that it's okay to be messy.

Even this recovering perfectionist knows that a lot of good sometimes comes from messy moments. In fact it's in the middle of my messiest moments, that I can most certainly say I've seen the redemptive, transformative and shaping hand of God work most magnificently. And He IS magnificent, isn't He? What an honor to BE His stage.

And so I pause. I have good intentions for tomorrow. But more than all of that, my kids need ME. Not just plain ole' me. I know me too well to say that with a straight face. My kids need a ME who is fully enamored and completely captivated by a God who loves them and has some pretty incredible plans already thought up for those sweet, messy little lives of His. And most of it (if not all), has nothing more to do with a steady, hand-in-hand walk with the One who made them.

And so I have plans for tomorrow. I've already told them that we'll be building a bird's nest and they're too excited to go back on all that now, but at the forefront of my mind and like a clear plastic sleeve over the plans for my day is a desire...

To be patient...
To be kind...
To not envy...
To not boast...
To not be proud...
To not dishonor...
To not be self-seeking...
To not be easily angered...
To keep no record of wrongs...
To not delight in evil, but rejoice with the TRUTH...
To always trust...
To always hope...
To always persevere...

Because even if I taught my kids all they needed to know to enter even the most prestigious universities in the world but did not have LOVE, I would only be a resounding gong or clanging symbol. And the Lord knows this house can't handle much more noise. :)

To LOVE the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and to love my husband, kids and neighbors as I love myself...that is my highest aim for tomorrow. One that cannot be attempted before getting on my face before God, as He reminds me of who I am...wife, mother, child of the King, equipped by the Holy Spirit to love as He loves.

What an honor. What a gift.
If tomorrow comes, I'll take joy knowing I've been called for such a time as this...to take each day as a gift and to be thankful that having my kids home with me means that we get to watch life pass by just a little more slowly than it did before. I. am. thankful.

A New Year, A Fresh Start...

2013-01-04T20:52:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year INSPIRED readers!

I hope you all had a meaningful Christmas, refreshing New Year and are ready for the beginning of something good! We have been SO grateful for a little time off as a family and for the blogging break I so graciously gave myself as we soaked up some intentional time together, away from it all. What a gift! Now you'll have to excuse the very out of order but still-oh-so-precious updates that will be following this post as I recap a few more 2012 memories in this beautiful, brand new year.

As you'll gather from the following post, I'm not at all sorry for posting "late" or getting things a bit out of order at all this year, because that is what I feel God calling me to as a theme for my 2013...

Live FULLY in the unique, one-of-a-kind, never going to happen again moment I've given you NOW.

If that means dishes wait a bit, or blog posts are days, weeks or even months late...then so be it! That will be evidence of me keeping the main thing, the main thing.

This blog is a place to capture snippets of life happening and to declare the goodness of God along the way...this blog is not my LIFE. I have 5 people who will most certainly hold me to that promise! SO welcome to a brand new year at Our Inspired Journey. I don't know all of what I'll be posting yet...my blogging calendar unfolds as the life around me does, and not a second before! Trust me...that's a good thing!

I do know however, that you can expect to see...

Gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, egg-free recipes as we attempt to feed our girl with newly discovered food-allergies
More DIY recipes for around the home as I further our efforts to save money, have fun while keeping clean!
a Giveaway here and there...
Homeschooling tid-bits as I share with you what we've found that works for our family, 5 months into our journey with our 2nd grader, Kindergartener and preschoolers.
Lots of journeying through motherhood and marriage :)
and TONS of pictures and videos of our kids growing up for their grandparents and anyone else who want to see how fast kids grow!

So as I welcome you back to a New Year, here's a a little piece of my heart from where I sit poised at the beginning of 2013...

****

There is something so refreshing about a fresh start. We all love it.

With the flip of the calendar we all feel a deep sigh of relief like all of our inconsistencies of the last year magically melt away with the flip of the page. True? Not really. The added pounds don't disappear and the unread pages aren't miraculously read as the year trades in one number for another, yet we are SO excited about all that a fresh start offers us.

I have to admit, I've gotten wrapped up it it all too in past years...but this one is different. I've changed, and I think, for the better.

We just returned from a weekend away at Family Camp up at Hume Lake. It's been a tradition of our family for the past 18 years, to start each New Year together - away from it all. This year, the speakers were Kirk and Chelsea Cameron. Though you may remember them from Growing Pains years ago, their focus this past weekend was far from Hollywood, and instead on growing a Godly family, at any cost, for the sake of the Kingdom. John and I were so blessed by the stories and encouragement they shared.

One thing Kirk shared has resonated with me since I returned. He encouraged us to not get wrapped up in the "insanity" New Years Day brings.

insanity: continuing to do the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result

Isn't that what so many of us do? Each New Year we pledge to change habits, lose weight, read more, eat less, etc. but then we fail one time and throw in the towel until the next "fresh start" comes along.

I'm wondering if there anyone else out there who needs this word as much as I do each day...

Lamentations 3:22-23 say...

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for a "once-a-year" fresh start. I need the daily heart cleanse that my Savior promises me...

Proverbs 16:2-3 says...

All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Whatever desires I have for this year, I pray they come out of my love for Him...drawing me closer to His ways, His heart and giving me a more courage to love others the way He does.

I leave you with these final thoughts as we welcome in 2013...

"Jesus has a wonderful way of restoring us when we fail him. He doesn't humiliate us. He doesn't criticize us. He doesn't asked to make a resolution to try harder. Rather He takes us aside and asks us to reaffirm our love for Him.

- Henry T. Blackaby

In all your well-intended resolutions for this year, have you taken time to renew your vows to Jesus as your Lord, Savior and never failing friend? He is the only one who will last the whole year through with you even after resolutions are broken and weariness sets in. "Commit your ways to the Lord and your plans (the ones He gives you out of His love for you) will succeed."

Blessings to you friends. I pray that out of all the pounds you want to lose, all the debt you want to pay off and all the accomplishments you are vowing to make happen, you find Jesus in the victories and losses...then and only then will it all have been worth it. A life, a neighborhood, a country, a world reconciled to the One who came for them...that's what I want to see in 2013...lets pray!

Open hands of GRATITUDE.

2012-12-04T00:25:00.002-08:00

Every Thanksgiving we have a "Thankful Tree."

A place to see our blessings before our eyes.

A place to be intentional in our gratitude.

A friend shared this truth with me recently...

When our hands are open, we can receive what God has to give.

It's our clinched fists, holding tightly to our own way that prevent us from receiving all He is waiting to give those who trust Him.

Open hands, praising Him for the blessings around us.

This is the way I pray we live...for in gratitude, we find TRUE, everlasting LIFE from the One who freely gave His own so we. could. LIVE.

Thank you, Jesus.

I want to live with open hands for YOU, today.

Freely I receive Lord, freely I can give...

Eucharisto...all is GRACE.

2012-12-03T00:44:00.002-08:00

Yes, Thanksgiving has come and gone, but can a post about Thanksgiving ever really be late? This recovering perfectionist wants to say yes, but my maturing spirit says tells me it is ALWAYS time for a post about thanks.

Eucharisto. A greek word meaning "to give thanks" and the backbone of my centered existence these days. I find myself floundering if when I wake up I allow my thoughts to wander into what I am not, what I have not, what I didn't prepare well for that day. Discouragement sets in real fast if I allow those thoughts to penetrate my God-intended soul.

Eucharisto...being a posture of giving thanks for what He's made me, what He's given me, what He's prepared before me as I step foot into a God-breathed day, ordained for ME by Him...the one who gives me life.

So these photos are not just of a meal and of people around a turkey and pumpkin pie...these photos capture moments that I can look back on and be deeply grateful that God allowed me to experience. Moments that if I let them, bring me to my knees in deep, heart-filled gratitude for the lives I've been called to walk alongside and to ultimately experience Christ with.

Eucharisto...living in a posture of gratitude opens the floodgates of heaven, breathing God-intended life and purpose into each and every relationship I have...especially the one with my Jesus.

So go ahead and glance through these moments, keeping in mind as you do, that they are sacred. Each and every one a gift. Each and every person a temple of the Holy Spirit walking this earth to love and be loved by God...and along the way, allowed by God the chance to be in a family. Family...a tangible expression of His grace to us...broken and needy, we are loved. First by Him, and next by those who call us son and daughter, husband and wife.

Eucharisto...His grace.

Papa, Coley and his little Rylee Joy. Do you see Cole's face? He's smitten with his little sis.

Love, between a brother and his sister...grace.

A table set for 12....grace.

A Place to see God's creatures...grace.

A confident little woman in the making...grace.

Her silly side that makes me laugh daily....also grace.

My blue-eyed boy who stole my heart 7 1/2 years ago, (and his brother who didn't want to pose but fills my heart with joy)...grace.

For this silly little munchkin who melts our heart daily in the most profound ways (and for her love of belly buttons)...grace.

A family who has welcomed me as one of their own...grace.

For the ones I've been linked with for life...grace.

A husband who loves Jesus and me and his children (in that order)...grace.

For the turkey that made it through Thanksgiving alive and gave us a great post-Thanksgiving trot and gobble...grace.

For hands to hold near a busy street, and an aunt who loves her nephew...grace.

For another aunt who opened her home to the masses for days so we could be together...grace.

For a Mama and Grammie who loves her family selflessly...grace.

The autumn colors of Napa...grace.

Time to pause and enjoy the beauty...grace.

A thoughtful, intentional and loving auntie and the girl everyone says she resembles...grace.

And the smile that creeps to their faces and hearts when she's around...grace.

For the selfless and intentional way they love us...grace.

Just because we're girls!

My first-born girl...thoughtful, gentle, creative, imaginative, silly and kind with a middle name that will always remind me of His love for me...Grace.

For the love and God-initiated deepening bond developing between my girl and I...grace.

For this family I've been called to...grace.

And this man who calls me, HIS...grace.

By know I think you can see...it is not by works of righteousness that we have done, but it's only by His mercy He has saved us...and given us life.

As a family.

They are His grace to me.

Happy Thanksgiving...a week ago, today and tomorrow too...

Becuuse every moment we live is not one we've earned.

Life is a gift.

It's HIS grace.

House Hunting...and how it's drawing me closer to Jesus

2012-11-15T09:53:00.000-08:00

Aren't they sweet? I love the "arms open wide" way these little ones live life...they inspire me to live more fully each day. As a mom, I have such a desire to protect them from pain, but this time...the Lord showed me that instead of shielding them from disappointment, we'd all grow closer to Him walking right in the middle of it...together.

Today we got word, that we didn't get the house...again. We've been house hunting for well over a year since we've been back from Illinois, and we've gotten close a couple times, but never yet heard the words, "It's yours!"

House hunting is a funny thing...funny because in order to get to the place where you are willing to sign away your life savings, you have to sort of envision yourself there! You have to be willing to move in if you're going to write an offer...because it just may become yours. The "funny" or rather terribly painful part, is that you also have to go into every offer knowing that you just may not come out with the keys in hand. In this market (and our price range) especially, there are usually several offers on the same house. Several people have all done the same thing...pictured their bed in the bedroom, their table in the kitchen and their kids playing in the backyard, before signing away their intent to move in, if given the chance.

We did that this week.

Rather half-heartedly, we went to look at a few possibilities this past weekend, only to find a place that we all loved. Right now, going to look at a house means we try our best to contain our four excitable children as we carefully snoop around someone else's home...it's not exactly easy. Bringing the kids along also means, they get attached, real quick.

We walked into a house this weekend, that we were seeing for the first time. It wasn't long before the boys found a window in one of the bedrooms, and pried a space in the blinds with their little fingers to check out the backyard. Ryder's jaw dropped and he spun around slowly as if to say, "I've never seen anything so beautiful!" Now mind you, this backyard was raw...just a rectangle of patchy grass. But when my boys got outside, they ran and skipped around as if they had just arrived at Disneyland. Cole leaned down to the weed-infested grass and said, "Mom, look! There are even clovers!" and with a gleam in his eye, we was hooked. I could see it happening as they ran around in the space they'd found...they loved this house.

When we got home, we prayed and decided to put an offer on it that day. The boys were giddy, and making plans to put a football field out back. When I mentioned thoughts of a garden, they quickly reminded me that nothing could get in the way of their football field. We signed papers, and knew we had a good chance of making this house our home. As we were leaving the office, Cole looked up at our realtor and said, "Did we buy the house?" She smiled, explaining to him that we were trying! We were all optimistic that it was finally our turn.

The next day we waiting for word about our offer. The kids asked me several times an hour if we had bought the house. I assured them that if it wasn't that one, another would come along, trying in my heart to prepare for disappointment, even before it hit us. It wasn't just my heart I was trying to protect, but theirs as well. We had a moment during breakfast when a song came on our Pandora station. Sitting with my eyes closed as tears came to my eyes..."Jesus, you're my everything..." the song played and with an open heart I gave the house away. I've done this many times before...sat in full realization that what I hope for isn't mine at all, and every time I do, I am changed.

"It's true boys and girls. Do you realize that even if we don't get this house, that we still have everything we need because we have Jesus? Let's go around and say why we are thankful for Jesus today..."

"I'm thankful He gave me..."

One after another my sweet kids went around and said they were thankful for THINGS God has given them.

"Yes...we are SO blessed to have the things we do, but even if it was all taken away and we don't get this house that we want...we still have everything, because we have Jesus."

I'm thankful He came for me...
I'm thankful He died for me...
I'm thankful He promises to never leave me...
I'm thankful He is coming again!

It's good to practice being thankful for HIM over the things He's given.

There is something that happens that when I can thank the LORD with a fully grateful heart, for the things He has given us, and at the same moment envision them all striped away...It is only then that I feel fully satisfied, because I feast not on the blessings He's given me which moth and rust can destroy, but I am left with the one thing I can never be robbed of...the ONE God who promises to never leave me and supply all my needs in Christ Jesus...I'm left with only HIM.

So today...our broken hearts sit gently cupped by the the One who made them.
He calls to us, asking us to rest in His presence which I'll never have to win a bid in order to experience fully.
He whispers to me things my mind can't understand but my heart fully embraces as HE becomes my manna for the day.
He is MORE than enough for me. for us. today. forever.

House or no house, backyard or no backyard, and whether we pay a mortgage someday or rent forever is fully beside the most important point in all the world...

And He whispers..."Am I enough for you today?"

In my brokenness, I lean...without words but fully with my heart, into the One who promises me treasures unmeasurable by these worlds standards. And there, I find rest.

As painful as disappointment can be, if I let it, pain becomes my compass to the One who is waiting to satisfy the deepest longings I may have forgotten were there. And in my search for healing, I find Jesus, and am reminded that He really does love....even me.

Maybe it's not so bad losing a house after all....if in the losing, I find Jesus.

Lions and Tigers and Ladybugs...oh my!

2012-11-02T00:17:00.000-07:00

October 31st, 2012 was a transformational day for me...

The boys wanted to be animals from books they were reading, so Ryder chose Aslan (The Chronicles of Narnia) and Cole chose a Hungry Tiger (My Father's Dragon). Cora was tickled pink that she got to wear one of her princess dresses (from Christmas gifts) OUTside of the house, and Rylee was equally delighted to be the ladybug that sister was last year.

And so it was.

Hours later on a Sunday afternoon, we had shopped for the supplies that the boys paid for from their piggy banks and we were slowly transforming two shirts, hats and pieces of fabric into a lion and tiger.

They were thrilled...I was tired but so, so thankful for my sweet boys and their simple choices that they truly were excited about!!!

One of the most meaningful things that happened on Halloween this year, happened where I least expected to be overwhelmed by God. It all happened here...at Cora's preschool parade and performance...

Watching her soft little hand raise to greet me...

Seeing her glance at me between lines of her song...

Noticing the way her little lips broke into a smile every time she came near...

And then as I was leaving, she came near to me...sidled up real close, as if to show everyone that she was mine. I bent down to meet her gaze, and told her I was proud of her. So proud of the way she walked and sang with such grace and courage.

This is the girl who I've struggled to understand lately. One who I've prayed for insight about from the One who knit her together...her shifty moods and lack of concern for obedience has slowly worn me down to place I never felt I've been with a child of mine. At the end of myself...

In my prayers, I heard Him say..."She's a girl. MY girl. Just like you were at her age. You two are more alike than you realize."

We had a breakthrough that day. Her and I. My eyes well up with tears as I say it, but I truly felt connected to the sweet little life standing beside me, in a brand new way. There was a sense of belonging that I hadn't stopped for a while rest in.

Then He whispered these words with all the grace in the world...

"She needs space for just you two...she needs your time...your eyes, ears and heart just for her...to know you delight in her."

And then it dawned on me...our relationship should model the one I have with Jesus.

That was all she valued in that moment. I was there, just for her, delighting in this moment that belonged to no other child in our family but her. I love sharing moments together as a family, but on this day, the Lord knew just what we needed, and this was it.

A 15 minute little preschool parade and song helped me see my daughter with new eyes.

Sometimes as a mother of many, its easy to focus on moving the whole ship and loose sight of the sweet little spirits that make up each part. On this day, I only had eyes for Cora...and something in my heart softened for my daughter all over again.

Memories of tantrums and tempers faded and I just saw my little girl.

What a gift. Thank you Jesus...

As I left her school to let her play a bit more before picking her up, I lingered a moment longer just to watch her with her peers...

Hearing her confidently speak amidst a group of very quiet friends at her party...

A little leader in the making...

The rest of the day, I was mindful...

I didn't just see my family as a whole unit that I needed to get from place to place, but instead God opened my eyes up to the individual hearts that I've been given to raise.

They love their friends...

The girls...

The boys...

We even visited my old college freshman dorm...

But in the end...I'm left thankful for every pair of eyes, button nose, beating heart and maturing soul that I'm called to nurture as a mother...

What a gift. each. one. is...

I can only love because He first loved me. And oh, how He does.

Now, that's grace. Because of HIM, I love my Cora Grace a little more like her Jesus does.

There's nothing more I could ask for, as a mother...nothing more powerful in the world, than to get a glimpse of how He loves...and to feel even just an bit of the same for the ones He's given me.

Thank you, thank you, Jesus! 27 years into my walk with you, you are still changing and molding me into your likeness. For the sake of my husband and children, I thank you. Oh to love like you love...

Child Training Bible: Review and GIVEAWAY!

2012-10-23T21:54:00.002-07:00

I'm excited to FINALLY be sharing with you about something that has been in our house, making it's way into our hearts over the past few months. I'm thankful to have waited to share with you about it, because now I can tell you how it has worked it's way off of the "instruction sheet" and onto the pavement of our lives.

It's called the CHILD TRAINING BIBLE!

When your child (or YOU) struggle with a certain type of behavior, this resource makes the Word of God accessible to you, right in the middle of your struggle.

Here's how it works...

You start with a BIBLE

(a good start, wouldn't you say?)

...add Post-It Tabs, 10 ct. Sharpie Highlighters and Double sided tape

...and the Child Training Bible charts!

This chart gets taped on the front blank page of the Bible...

These charts tell you where each topic is found in the Bible, and give you suggested conversations to have with your child when they struggle with one of these behaviors.

Watch a video tutorial about it, HERE.

One of the behaviors we have the most frequent issue with in our house is anger. Even writing that word makes me want to pray right now that God's hand would be on us!

It's not pretty. We ALL struggle with it in our family. I'm not going to pretend for a second that my kids have come up with this one on their own. God is good and has been faithful to help me mature in my struggle since adding four kids to our family over a 5 year span, but there's no better way to break a girl of her perfectionistic tendencies than to give her a lot of kids! And so He did.

What a beautiful plan He has for us though. The Bible says even God got angry, but He also tells in Ephesians 4:26..."In your anger, do not sin."

God is so patient with us! In His anger with a sinful human race, He lovingly sent His only Son to die for us. It is only because he first loved me, that I can in turn love those around me. Since we started homeschooling this year, my kids are the ones around me most, and it is only because I've first been forgiven that I can turn to my kids in their sin, and show them any ounce of grace. And in our house, we all need a lot of grace.

"We love because He first loved US."

This resource helps us as parents do just that. When one of our children reaches the end of themselves and acts out in anger (for example), we stop...take a break...sit down with the Bible...flip open to the top left yellow tabs that show us where all the anger verses have been highlighted, and then turn to each page with a yellow tab in the top left corner and read. We read all the verses that have been highlighted yellow (to match it's tab color) knowing every yellow verse on that page is a verse that will help us know God's Word to us on anger.

And His Word is like water to our dry and thirsty souls every time...

When I first found this resource I was a little bit worried. I was afraid that if I used it, they may start to see the Bible as merely a disciplinary tool. I was nervous that pulling it out during a time when they were "in trouble" may cause them to look at God mostly as a disciplinarian who was disappointed with them when they fell short.

Now, even the Bible says in several places that the Lord disciplines those He loves. I know that it takes more patience and effort to gently correct and lead them in the way they should go, than to "let them off the hook" for behavior that God says will lead them astray. Choosing to discipline our children in love may be choosing the "hard" way, but it's also the most loving way.

In the three months we've been using the Child Training Bible, I've seen my kids soften to the Word of God in really beautiful ways. When they've fallen short in some area in our day, my oldest now points to the Bible, knowing that the right place to go is God's Word for the refreshment our heart needs in the midst of our brokenness.

This routine of going to God for the correction and encouragement we need in our most "undone" moments, has strengthened my children's view of God as a loving and ever-present help in time of trouble. So, I was right...partly. Their view of God has changed, but not for the worse. My kids' understanding of who God is has matured as we've opened His Word to speak to us in the middle of our great need for HIM.

It's amazing what happens too, when right in the midst of a full on temper tantrum, instead of reacting in my own frustrations with their behavior, I ask them to come sit with me to read through verses in the Bible. We all get the correction, encouragement and strengthening we need in that moment as we're reminded that we're not alone in our anger...lack of self control...defiance...etc.

Isn't that the reason His Word is with us today? God wants us to know, that we are not alone. He hasn't given us four kids and then left us to fend for ourselves and rely on our own strength and wisdom to get through each day. His voice is fresh and vibrantly applicable on the pavement of our lives...NOW. The Child Training Bible has reminded us of that truth over and over again in the last three months, and will continue to do so as long as we continue to need the mighty and saving power of a forgiving and patient God.

I'm SO thankful for this resource and the wonderful woman who God called to make it for us all to use! Mindy, who developed the Child Training Bible chart set has agreed to send one to one of YOU who enters the following giveaway...

The winner will receive a copy of the chart set needed to make your own CTB!

I hope you'll go to her website and check our this wonderful resource for yourself...then pass on the word to friends! This would also make a WONDERFUL Christmas present!

Our home, our family, our parenting, our kids...nowhere near perfect, but we know the God who IS! I praise Him for giving us His WORD to help us live the lives He's called us to, for His glory and for His kingdom. Happy Parenting to each of you who have been entrusted with one or more of God's amazing gifts!!!

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DIY Homemade Sulfate and Borax-Free Laundry Detergent

2012-10-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

Only a day after I made my newest batch of homemade laundry detergent, I found reports of Borax and the sulfates in the Dawn dishwashing soap being linked to causing skin irritations in those who have sensitive skin.

So...I just found THIS recipe that I'm gathering the ingredients for next!

source

I haven't tried it out yet, based on the comments on the blog I linked...others seem to love it!

I wanted to post it now, even before I try it out so that if anyone is concerned about the ingredients I posted before, you'd have a quick alternative. I'll update this post as soon as we have experiences of our own to share...

Let me know if you try either one and have results to share as well!

***

UPDATE...1-4-13

I LOVE it!!! I followed the recipe exactly and the only problem is that it DOES clump and get hard if you don't make a desiccant to prevent it from happening. We love it so much though, we don't mind chiseling it out to use it every time! Happy Washing!

DIY Homemade Laundry Detergent

2012-10-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for the next DIY Cleaning Recipe?

Well, the laundry is piling up in my house and we just ran out of laundry detergent...so, instead of going to the store...it's time to make more! I thought I'd share...

The first time I made my own detergent was this past summer when I was on a "make everything myself kick"...mostly to save money :) We are working hard to pay off school loans right now and so any little bit helps!

I got this recipe from this blog, and she goes into a lot more detail than I will here. So if you're interested in making it yourself...you may find it helpful to visit over there!

Here's what you need to make a laundry detergent that you don't have to grate any soap for...

3 Tablespoons Borax
3 Tablespoons Washing Soda
2 Tablespoons Dawn Dish soap

Put all these ingredients in a one gallon jug. I used an old laundry detergent container that I liked with a easy to use valve.
Pour 4 cups boiling water into the jug. with the ingredients and swirl until ingredients are dissolved in the liquid.
Let liquid cool.
Fill the container with cold water so the liquid inside equals one gallon.
Bubbles will overflow out of the bottle and this is okay!

So far, this detergent has worked great for our family. It cleans well, you just have to use more of it per load than you're used to since it is thinner. I use about 1 cup per large load...I can't think of the last time I did a load of laundry that wasn't large! It is really inexpensive to make so I don't mind using more and using this in combination with a good spot remover does the trick every time. Even with all the stains we have going on around here in this season of life with little ones!

The next recipe I'll post will be the DIY Spot remover we've been using! Also a favorite of mine...

Happy Laundering!

P.S. Since writing this post, I've changed my recipe to a sulfate and borax-free detergent to help sweet girl with sensitive skin :)

The sweet, little voice of Rylee Joy...

2012-10-20T00:32:00.001-07:00

I couldn't help myself. My littlest is growing up so fast and I needed to capture this sweet little voice while it's still here. Grammie and Papa, this one's for you :)

Where's my Daddy?

(We love this...if she's ever looking for someone or something, she'll say...)

Go to Sleep

(This is the song I sing to her as I tuck her in bed each night...she's started singing it to her babies)

ABC's

(we sing them every time she washes her hands to help her know how long to stay!)

I can't believe it. It happened in the blink of an eye. She's all grown up!

Yes, I'm one of those moms now that can look back on pregnancy, labor, sleepless nights, first moments and only see my sweet little girl...no longer a baby and say, "Where did the time go?"

My dear little Rylee,

I'll never begin to explain how deeply my love for you runs. You are a gift we all love waking up to every morning. Your sweet smile, cheerful disposition and calming way you saunter through life is a refreshment to us each and every day. I pray God helps you see more of Himself every moment you're alive. Knowing you, I think God will use you to lead us all into His presence as you grow. I can already see that you have a way of keeping the important things before you and letting everything else fall to the side. I'm so, so blessed to call you my daughter, sweet one....so honored to be your mom.

Love,

Your Mommy

Thank you, Lord. I see you more clearly in the big, beautiful, hazel eyes of your daughter...Rylee Joy. Thank you for sharing such a sweet, sweet gift with us. I'm humbled by your grace...