Our Little Tongginator

From T to Zee

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

So yesterday, after school, the Tongginator came to me with An Announcement.

TONGGINATOR: Momma, I have something serious to tell you. I did something bad in school today.

TONGGU MOMMA: (thinking it couldn't be all THAT bad, seeing as how I had just talked with Ms. Confetti, who said nothing about the day's events) Oh, really? What did you do, honey bear?

TONGGINATOR: Momma, I know we are supposed to save our kisses for our mommies and daddies, but I accidentally kissed Zee.

TONGGU MOMMA: Accidentally? You accidentally kissed him?

TONGGINATOR: Yes, Momma.

TONGGU MOMMA: Tongginator, how do you accidentally kiss someone?

TONGGINATOR: Well, I just really, really wanted to kiss him, so then I did.

TONGGU MOMMA: Oh, really? And how did Zee feel about that?

TONGGINATOR: I don't know, Momma. I didn't ask him. But he didn't complain or anything.

And - just so y'all know - I didn't tell Tonggu Daddy about the Tongginator's Announcement. I'm sure I'll receive a telephone call in five... four... three... yep, there it is. Tonggu Daddy must be reading the blog right this very second. But in the Tongginator's defense, Zee is Quite The Adorable One (isn't he cuteness personified in that photo? just pretend you can see his face). And obviously he has excellent taste.

Since he didn't complain or anything.

And I can only hope the Tongginator didn't use ~~tongue~~ Tonggu.

Tongue Twist

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

While reading during homework time yesterday, the Tongginator stumbled over a word, trying to sound it out for a minute or two. When she couldn't quite figure it out, she asked me, "Momma, what's this word?"

As I walked over to check it out, she exclaimed, "Wait... I think I know it... is that 'Tonggu?'" Heh. Although now I'm totally agonizing about how I've completely warped my little Miss T by blogging under the name Tonggu Momma.

The Abyss of Agony

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:00:00 +0000

I am so behind in my blog reading and emails, I feel slightly embarrassed, yet I don't think I can remedy the situation anytime soon because I'm fighting off crossed-eyes and hand cramping. Why, you might ask? Well, it' not because of the dreaded Christmas letter. (I think at this point I might actually welcome the pain that is the holiday card.) Nope, it's all Ms. Confetti's fault.

You see, Ms. Confetti has me sorting an art tub. Sounds fairly safe, doesn't it? Innocuous? Not too difficult? Well, it's mindless, all right. Mind numbingly horrific! That art tub is two feet squared directly from the depths of hell. Everything got dumped in there. And by everything, I mean:

foam shapes,
foam shapes with sticker backing,
foam letters and numbers,
miniature pom pom balls,
googly eyes,
feathers,
seasonal stickers for fall,
seasonal stickers for winter,
seasonal stickers for spring,
trash,
miniature Popsicle sticks
and my favorite thing of all... card confetti, with a dash of glitter.

Do you feel sorry for me yet? No? Well, you should. On Monday, another parent volunteer said to me, "when it gets THAT bad, I usually just pitch it and start over." Yeah... well... I'm tempted, but do you realize just how much money one can blow on a good pair of googly eyes? I can't bring myself to dump it. Plus, I don't want my daughter's teacher to hate me.

So. I. Sort.

Yesterday afternoon I had the choice of continuing to sort through the Abyss Of Agony or attending the elementary school band Christmas concert. I, of course, being of sound mind and body, chose the art tub... but I later REGRETTED MY CHOICE! Yes, y'all, the Pit Of Purgatory is worse than an elementary school band concert. Who knew?

Which got me thinking... what else can y'all think of that is worse than an elementary school band concert? Just flashback to the third graders with trumpets, the overzealous fifth graders in percussion, the... I could go on and on. So what ELSE is worse than THAT?

A Deep, Dark Secret

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Y'all, I must confess something, especially after my post last week detailing my complete and utter inability to create a Christmas list. It's a secret, though, so you have to promise not to mention it to Tonggu Grammy. Or anyone else I know in real life.

Y'all, I DO collect something beyond caffeine and books. But I seriously CANNOT let my family know about it because - if they actually discover my super-secret collection - I will be drowning in the stuff before the decade is over. Because once my family sniffs out a new collector, they drown that poor, besotted collector with her theme until said collector can't remember why she started collecting whatever it was she was collecting in the first place.

Take my Aunt P, for instance. And what I like to call The Rooster Invasion of the 1990's.

I won't bore you with the details of that sad, sad event, except to say that my Aunt P once remarked that she thought she might like roosters because... well, because she didn't know why. But she thought she might like to decorate with them a bit. The rooster population at her house more than quadrupled within six months of her remark. And within two years, she was drowning in roosters.

Here's where I'd like to point out that my Aunt P said she thought she might like roosters.

After The Rooster Invasion of the 1990's, I'm fairly certain that my Aunt P doesn't think that anymore. We can't go anywhere in her house now without bird eyes staring at us. It's fowl, I tell ya... FOWL.

(Sorry... I couldn't resist.)

And - shhh - I collect something as well. I hide them in my dining room because - really - who ever uses their dining room anyway? But y'all? I collect snowmen. And I chose snowmen because I'm lazy. (You totally don't have to take down snowmen until, like, March, instead of the weekend after New Years.)

(I'm totally smart, aren't I?)

I wanted to share with y'all a few of my favorite snowmen. Because I'm totally swamped with Christmasy stuff, knee deep in ribbons and bows, with a brain numb from trying to pound out a non-cheesy Christmas letter. (Are those even possible?) Anyways, here are a few of my favorite snowmen.

And then there's this little guy... he usually shows up on the family Christmas tree rather than amidst my super-secret snowman collection. But that's because he totally deserves a place of honor, front and center, where everyone can enjoy looking at him.

I like to call him Jack O'Snowman. And y'all can pour out your accolades to the artist, a nine-year-old Tonggu Daddy. Jack O'Snowman is a rather shy fellow... no matter where I place him on the tree, he always seems to find his way to the wall side of the Christmas evergreen.

I can't imagine why.

By Papular Vote...

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

I cannot thank y'all enough for the many wonderful suggestions you shared last week to add to my Christmas list. Several of them competed for the top spot, but then - THEN - I saw this. And I'm sorry, y'all, but... well... you just can't compete. I'm (ahem) sticking at the top of my list the gift that even Santa can't deliver.

(Watch it. It's only 11 seconds long. I promise you'll die. Although, if I'm honest, you won't actually die. In fact, you're less likely to die if you do, in fact, watch this CBS Cares public service announcement. But you might die from laughter. Or at least chuckle. Or whatever. But just know that this is now at the top of my Christmas list.)

Now someone please tell me the identity of this guy. I'm betting he's a soap opera star. Am I right? Please tell me I'm right. A week's worth of dish washing is riding on this bet.

Sunday Linkage

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:41:00 +0000

As always, I don't necessarily agree or disagree with these links, but I believe they are important to consider. For those of you new around here, I'm an adoptive momma. Each Sunday I try to post links relevant to the China- adoptive community. I read some of these linkage posts while nodding my head in agreement... others stretch my mind as I seek to understand. Always, always, I consider them.

Yes, I Gave Up My Baby -- first mother Cassie at Adoption Truth... how it feels to be viewed as a great soul for giving up your child

Interview with Talitha Piper -- Christian blogger Olivia at Nobody 416... Olivia interviews a Christian adult adoptee (transracial, domestic) Talitha about faith and adoption

"They Will Return To You" -- adoptive momma (China) Malinda at China Adoption Talk... how false promises might affect consent in international adoption

Searching: How To Get Started -- adoptive momma (China) AmFam at American Family... how to start a search for your child's first parents

"Find My Family" on ABC -- adult adoptee (domestic, closed) Lillie at It Came From The Cabbage Patch... her response to complaints from adoptive parents about this show

To His Forever Family -- adoptive momma (China) and missionary living in China Heidi at Moms, Ministry and More... a young child, found wandering alone at the SaiGe shopping center, touches the heart of this writer

Addendum -- adult adoptee (Korea) and licensed social worker Jae Ran Kim at Harlow's Monkey... thoughts about racism and racial discrimination after reading through the recent report issued by the Evan B. Donaldson Institute

December 1, 2009 -- adoptive momma (China) Lighthousegal at Lighthousegal's Scrap Shack... looking at the parents in the shadows on her daughter's birthday

Aha Moments at Adoption Conferences: An Adoptee's View -- guest contributor adult adoptee (domestic, closed) Gian M. Schauer at Adopt-a-tude... her transition from wishing to adopt an older child to wishing to search for her own inner adopted child

a lot of ramblin' -- adoptive momma (Vietnam) Judy at Just Enjoy Him... what she would have done... and not done... in order to adopt a child

Babies!!! -- adoptive momma (China) The Rumor Queen at China Adopt Talk... a list of families who received referrals from the China program this month

Cultural Exchange: One Plus One Does Not Equal Two -- adoptive momma (Korea) Carissa at the group adoption blog Grown In My Heart... the blessings and challenges that come with having an exchange student from the country of her childrens' birth

Sunday Scripture

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:40:00 +0000

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.

The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD -

and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
or decide by what he hears with his ears;

but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.

Righteousness will be his belt
and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.

The cow will feed with the bear,
their young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.

The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest.

They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD
as the waters cover the sea.

In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his place of rest will be glorious.

Isaiah 11:1-10

从耶西的本 (原文作"不") 必发一条, 从他根生的枝子必结果实. 耶和华的灵必住在他身上; 就是使他有智慧和聪明的灵, 谋略和能力的灵, 知识和敬畏耶和华的灵. 他必以敬畏耶和华为乐; 行审判不凭眼见, 断是非也不凭耳闻. 却要以公义审判贫穷人; 以正直判断世上的谦卑人; 以口中的杖击打世界; 以嘴里的气杀戮恶人.

公义必当他的腰带; 信实必当他胁下的带子.

豺狼必与绵羊羔同居, 豹子与山羊羔同卧; 少壮狮子与牛犊并肥畜同群; 小孩子要牵引他们. 牛必与熊同食; 牛犊必与小熊同卧; 狮子必吃草与牛一样. 吃奶的孩子必玩耍在虺蛇的洞口, 断奶的婴儿必按手在毒蛇的穴上. 在我圣山的遍处, 这一切都不伤人, 不害物; 因为认识耶和华的知识要充满遍地, 好像水充满洋海一般神要救回选民.

到那日, 耶西的根立作万民的大旗, 外邦人必寻求他, 他安息之所大有荣耀.

以赛亚书十一: 一 - 十

(admin: YHX3BKY2PRYN)

Feels Like Yesterday...

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Tomorrow the husband and I will celebrate our eleventh wedding anniversary. Yep, we've been hitched for over a decade now. And yes, I'm one of those insanely irritating people who chose to annoy her friends and family by marrying in that most hectic of all months, December. The husband still says I made a Most Beautiful Bride, which just goes to show how very ~~blind~~ besotted he is. Especially since, after 11 years, he thinks I'm beautiful even when I first wake up on a Saturday morning. I know that True Beauty comes from the inside and all (blah blah blah), but trust me, there is NOTHING beautiful about Tonggu Momma early on a Saturday morning before she's ingested copious amounts of caffeine, preferably through an IV.

And yet Tonggu Daddy still loves me. What a guy!

Now I know y'all will complain if I don't post a shot of myself all gussied up and wearing An Actual Dress, so here it is...

Oh, so now your COMPLAINING? Well, y'all, I hate to say this, but beggars can't be choosers. And my hair? On my wedding day? Is NOT something I want to splash across the internet for all to see. And that's all I'm saying about that. I WILL, however, let y'all in on a little secret about my wedding. But only if you promise to share a super-secret and/or crazy wedding story, preferably your own, but any will do. So are y'all ready to learn my secret?

I don't hear any promises.

(insert long dramatic pause)

Have you promised yet?

(insert shorter and profoundly less dramatic pause)

(have I mentioned before that I'm rather impatient?)

Okay, y'all, I guess I'm just gonna have to trust you. Prepare to wince at my taking-a-photo-of-a-photo skills and to be astounded by Tonggu Grammy's ah-maze-ing glue gun abilities. Yes, y'all, we had our own little Father Of The Bride moment. And here it is...

Yep, I wore Keds on my wedding day. During the actual service. The reception, too. And I actually feel no embarrassment about said fact. I DO, however, feel embarrassed that I wore Keds with nylons rather than socks. But who knew back in 1998 that I'd ever become a blogger? Or that blogs would even exist? Or that I'd actually post a photo of my nylons-and-Ked-wearing self for several dozen strangers to see? Ack!

Umm... where was I again?

Oh, yes, Keds. I wore Keds. To my wedding. It's a sensory thing, y'all. Oh, and the fact that I wear a nine-and-half, double-wide shoe. And that the husband insisted I wear low heels or flats because he's ~~short~~ only an inch taller than me. Try finding white dress flats in December in THAT size, why dontcha? And so, there to save the day was Tonggu Grammy, brandishing glue gun and way too much eyelet. Oh, and two wedding bell things covered with glitter (you know that glitter stuff that feels like sand, but tries to look classy?). Two wedding bell things that kept catching on the netting of my dress as I attempted to walk down the aisle during the ceremony. Two wedding bell things that... but I digress.

So what's YOUR wedding story?

Great Children's Books for Christmas

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

First I just need to say that y'all? Are AMAZING! Thank you so much for the many ideas you shared yesterday. I will be sitting quietly with ~~your~~ my list, narrowing it down this afternoon. I think. I hope. Anyways, once I do sit down with it, I'll fill y'all in on the drama that is Tonggu Momma's Christmas Wish List.

But today - to return the favor - I thought I'd share with y'all something I DO know a bit about: children's picture books. Here are my favorite Christmas (and one Hanukkah!) picture books for this holiday season. And I'll be sure to let y'all know whether they contain religious themes or not (most of them do because... well, because I'm a Christian).

Christmas in the Manger by Nola Buck. For those of you with little, little ones, check out this board book about the very first Christmas. The simple, poetic text and vibrant artwork allows even the youngest child to share in the wonder of the nativity story. And for those who are musicians, you may draw some parallels between this book's text and the old Christmas carol The Friendly Beasts.

The Little Drummer Boy by Ezra Jack Keats. To really read this book properly, you actually have to sing it (even if your voice Completely Sucks, as mine does). And you also have to teach your little ones to drum tapping sticks on the floor whenever you sing "pa-rum-pum-pum-pum." Keat's book is - by far - the Tongginator's all time favorite Christmas book. Who would have guessed that our resident Miss Priss would adore playing the drums so much? But even if you don't have a Future Rock Star in your house, this book will surely delight all, especially since little ones will begin to understand the words of a popular Christmas carol.

The Christmas Play by Clare Bevan. Finally! A multicultural children's Christmas book! I seriously feared it might NEVER happen. I love, love, love the Christmas pageant described in this picture book, undoubtedly inspired by the ever-famous, written for slightly older children, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. In the sweetly rhyming text of The Christmas Play, the angel wears bed sheets, Joseph stammers, baby Jesus is plastic, the dove has stage fright and one of the Wise Men carries a gift of bath salts. And the ending? "Here is our final production, And though it's still held up with pins, The parents will love every minute - For this is where Christmas begins."

The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg. Not many holiday stories can claim The Caldecott Medal, but this one does. And not many children's books can claim Tom Hanks as a leading man, but The Polar Express can. Don't simply plop your children down in front of the movie, make sure to ALSO read the book that inspired it all. And make sure you have a tiny silver bell on hand to ring for the children, after you finish reading the story, so that you can ask them, "do you hear it ring?" (NO RELIGIOUS THEMES)

The Night of Las Posadas by Tomie DEPaola. Describing the Hispanic custom of Las Posadas, this book's simple, yet unpredictable for children, text and gorgeous illustrations make it a must-have for any Christmas library. For those who don't know, Las Posadas - Spanish for "the inns" - is a nine-day celebration that reenacts Mary and Joseph's search for shelter in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve. DEPaola's story tells the tale of Sister Angie and the celebration she organizes year after year.

Hanukkah: A Counting Book by Emily Sper. We own quite a few Hanukkah books, mostly dating back to my teaching days, but I'm really glad I can read them with the Tongginator, even though our family isn't Jewish. It is SO important to expose your children to diversity... I can't state that enough. Although there are several Hanukkah books that do a better job sharing the true meaning of the holiday, I included this one because it is, first and foremost, a counting book, numbering the eight candles on the holiday menorah (it does not count the shamash). The text uses simple phrases relevant to Hanukkah and written in English, Hebrew and Yiddish. You will find more detailed explanations of the religious and cultural significance of each phrase in the book's last pages.

The Night Before Christmas by Rachel Isadora. A new twist on the old classic! The text is the same as Clement C. Moore's immortal poem A Visit From Saint Nicholas, but Caldecott Honor-winning artist Rachel Isadora sets this beloved story in an African village. Her illustrations? Clearly explain the story even when the vocabulary sails over the heads of little ones. (NO RELIGIOUS THEMES) Oh, and a funny story about this book: I purchased it last week at a well-known book store. An African-American employee walked past, then halted as she noticed me holding the book. She said, "you know, we have several versions of this story," as she gestured to the... er... white table, for lack of a better description. (I was standing near a table filled with books authored and illustrated by African-Americans.) I smiled at her, then replied, "I saw those. But this one? Is incredible. It is WAY better than those." And then she grinned back at me.

This Is the Stable by Cynthia Cotten. This rhyming tale builds the details of the Nativity story into a "House That Jack Built" style of text. I personally feel that this is - by far - the most Biblically accurate story I've seen that is easily understood by the preschool set. And the gorgeous illustrations by Delana Bettoli remind me of the folksy designs of Jim Shore (I own this piece of his, as well as a few more). Bettoli also hid angel wings in almost every illustration, which makes me smile, especially since Tonggu Grammy collects angels.

My Birthday, Jesus' Birthday by Holly Davis. While this book truly does NOT work for adoptive families, it IS a great book for families with biological children. Alternating pages between birthday celebrations and the Christmas holiday help children to better understand Jesus' birth by detailing how it compares with their own birthdays, both the similarities and the differences. This book's profoundly spiritual message is easy enough for even a preschooler to understand.

Feel free to make fun of any of my choices. Or applaud them. Or whatever. But - most importantly - please share YOUR favorite holiday books.

(And CC? I'd recommend The Night Before Christmas by Rachel Isadora, Christmas Cookies: Bite-Sized Holiday Lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, Gingerbread Baby by Jan Brett and Fancy Nancy: Splendiferous Christmas by Jane O'Connor for your lessons.)

What Do I Want?

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

I need to let y'all in on a little (okay, okay, HUGE) issue of mine: I am The World's Worst Person To Give Gifts To. Yes, y'all, I confess: I am THAT relative. ~~It's not that I'm all that picky.~~ Well, maybe I am ~~a tad~~ picky, but not in a prideful, ungrateful, nasty kind of way... more like in a sensory, asthma and allergy, don't need much kind of way.

At least, that's what I tell myself anyways.

Like... I don't wear jewelry. It's a sensory thing for me. It irritates me. I fiddle with it. I even take off my wedding ring sometimes (gasp! the horror!). I don't have pierced ears (more! horror!). Jewelry totally and completely bothers me the way an insect crawling all over your arm might bother you. I also have major clothing issues. That's not to say that I fail to wear them (I promise that I do!), just that my comfort requirements fill an entire sheet of paper, making me The Most Annoying Person Ever To Go Clothes Shopping With. I will not allow anything to touch my neck. Socks are typically seamless. Shirts must feel loose near my underarms. I could go on and on.

And on.

Plus... I have asthma and allergies, which pretty much rules out any and all scented candles, bath products, perfumes, lotions and incense. I also struggle with an obscure food allergy, so most of my friends and family avoid gifting me with food, unless they slaved away for hours over a hot stove, making every! single! thing! from scratch and providing me with a list of ingredients.

To make matters worse, I'm not one particularly effected by what I call "the wanties." I don't want all that much. My needs - while not exactly simple (see above) - are few. I'm not one who looks through a catalogue, thinking, "ooh... pretty" or "that would look nice in the living room" or "I wonder if that comes in my size." Mostly because I'm not one to look through a catalogue; it's just not part of my make-up.

Which reminds me... I also don't wear make-up.

(Aren't you glad you don't have to see me face-to-face on a daily basis?)

Every year my family asks me what I'd like for Christmas. And every year I shrug my shoulders and say oh-so-helpfully, "I don't know." They must hate me. Help me out, y'all. What do I want for Christmas? And... if you don't have any ideas for me (because it's all about ME! ME! ME!, right?), would you pretty please share with me YOUR all-time favorite gift?

You know, if you think I would like it.

I Heart Tooshies

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:00:00 +0000

I must confess something to y'all. I have a love-hate relationship with the ever popular i ♥ faces blog. I love it because I truly enjoy dabbling in photography. And I say dabbling because I pretty much stink at taking photos most of the time, although sometimes I luck out with a semi-decent shot now and again. I also hate the i ♥ faces blog because our family's psycho No Face Shots Posted On The Blog rule pretty much eliminates me from the competition week after week.

After week.

Except for this week! Because this week i ♥ faces showed Exceptionally Good Taste by focusing on something y'all have come to expect when stopping by Our Little Tongginator... TOOSHIES. Yes, y'all... our little Tongginator's infamous backside is joining hundreds of other rears splashed across the blogosphere. And I'll even give y'all a little glimpse of the Tongginator's profile.

Everyone say ooh... aah... oh.

the Tongginator at 17 months, July 2005

And - just so y'all know - that oohing and aahing was for that very rare glimpse of the Tongginator's profile, not for my Very Amateur Photo. Because, as my oh-so-humble Tongginator often says, she "is the prettiest."

Then again, she also often describes herself as "the smartiest." Heh.

Thanksgiving Recap

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

So I'm guessing I can't exactly just blow past the Thanksgiving weekend as though we are Canadian or Australian or something. Because we did celebrate... with my part-Cherokee grandmother. Obviously this isn't her favorite holiday or anything, but there is turkey and pie involved. And my grandma will pretty much celebrate anything as long as she gets to eat a tasty feast.

Isn't that the case with most people?

And this in no way makes her shallow or selectively righteous or anything. Because then I - Tonggu Momma - would ALSO be shallow and selectively righteous, albeit two or three generations removed. And besides, apple pie is involved. Apple pie pretty much requires one to be shallow and selectively righteous.

So where was I before I jumped on my soap box and then fell through it's gravy-soaked boards?

Ah, yes... the Thanksgiving weekend highlights.

As we all know, Thanksgiving would not be Thanksgiving without at least one man ducking out of the kitchen to nap in front of a football game. And yes, this is Tonggu Daddy.

Thanksgiving also wouldn't be Thanksgiving without at least one Small Child Meltdown. And - just so you know - my sister's youngest, "Baby Ruth," earned a new nickname last year. We call her The Pterodactyl because her cries are as loud and piercing as that of the carnivorous winged lizard. Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to feel sorry for my sister KitKat, as she was the one holding said pterodactyl in this photo. And you thought they were extinct...

Of course Thanksgiving also requires one to beat one's head against the wall - in order to get the creative juices flowing - so that one can improvise a child's sized makeshift apron.

But of course THE most important thing to remember on Thanksgiving is to have on hand one very, very, VERY good vacuum. Because crumbs and spills are inevitable.

Feel free to insert photo captions in the comments section for any or all of the pictures above. And tell me all about your Thanksgiving celebrations while you're at it.

Sunday Linkage

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:57:00 +0000

As always, I don't necessarily agree or disagree with these links, but I believe they are important to consider. For those of you new around here, I'm an adoptive momma. Each Sunday I try to post links relevant to the China- adoptive community. I read some of these linkage posts while nodding my head in agreement... others stretch my mind as I seek to understand. Always, always, I consider them.

"Find My Family:" Exploitative? Or...? -- adult adoptee (domestic) Susan at ReadingWritingLiving... a descriptive and often funny post describing the first episode of ABC's new show Find My Family

outside in -- adoptive momma (domestic, open) luna at life from here: musings from the edge... an adoptive mom ponders friendships with other moms after attending a local playgroup for the first time

Denying the Homeland: The Americanization of Ma WeiHong -- adoptive momma (China) redmaryjanes at the group China-adoption special needs blog No Hands But Ours... watching her daughter, adopted at an older age, navigate life during her first year with her new family

Adoption awareness month and Thanksgiving -- adult adoptee (Korea) girl4708 at Adoption Survivor... so much more than a gathering of KAD's (Korean Adult Adoptees) in Seoul, Korea for Thanksgiving dinner

The Orphan Next-Door -- sibling to two adoptees (Korea) and foster parent (living in China) Carrie at the group adoption blog Grown In My Heart... living next-door to an orphanage

The Problem With Adoption -- adult adoptee (domestic, closed) Phil at Finding Jane Doe... discussing the uphill battle many adoptees face when questioned by others about their emotions, thoughts and experiences

Adoption Apparel Translator -- adoptive momma (China) Malinda at China Adoption Talk about a post originally published at Racialicious... about a snarky, yet funny post discussing slogans and phrases on t-shirts and other assorted "stuff" that adoptive parents often purchase

So You Think You Want to Search? -- adoptive momma (China) AmFam at American Family... some things to consider if you are contemplating searching for your child's first family

Thanksgiving and Adoption -- adult adoptee (Korea) Bae Gang Shik at The Transracial Korean Adoptee Nexus... thoughts about adoption while considering Thanksgiving and the founding of the United States

Happy Thanksgiving

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:05:00 +0000

Have a wonderful holiday, y'all. Spend much time reflecting on your many blessings and cherishing your loved ones. As many of us know, they sometimes leave us all too soon. But as we say goodbye to and remember much adored relatives and friends who no longer sit at our Thanksgiving tables, we also say hello to the people who walk into our lives, sometimes even stumbling in unexpectedly, blessing us greatly as we come to know them better.

The circle of life. Coming and going. Hello and goodbye.

This year we at Tonggu House thank God for allowing us to hold so tightly to so many, for however much time we are given. The people we love are individual threads that weave together into the rich tapestries of our lives. If we focus solely on the threads, we forget to step back and look at the picture they form together.

And that picture? Shows how very blessed we are. Remember to welcome others into your life, especially those who are hurting and in need. Embrace the new even as you cherish the old. Say welcome to all who enter. Because we are all of us pilgrims in life, traveling to a better place, whether literally or figuratively.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. May you remember to share your many blessings.

Do Y'all Really...

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

... need to hear about how difficult it for our family to get through Saturday? (Because of this?) Probably not, since it's kind of depressing. And I really don't have the energy to go there.

... want to listen to me tell about our meeting on Sunday afternoon... our SERIOUS meeting, complete with babysitter to entertain all of the children... which the Tongginator quite abruptly interrupted by running into the center of the adults-only meeting room, adorned with feather boa and pink, plastic guitar, to yell "Look everyone! I'm a Rock Band Girl!" And how the husband, without skipping a beat and completely deadpan, responded with "that's great, honey... now go play" before the entire room of SERIOUS adults broke out in laughter.... except us.

... feel obligated to share the Infamous But(t) Award after all this time? Because sweet Amy of Wade's World bestowed me with the Honest Scrap Award (thanks, hon!). And I am truly regretting ever creating this darn thing.

... admit to decorating for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving? I don't know whether I should feel morally outraged or inadequate because I'm late.

... require me to post a picture of our cat's "cute little head?" Our cat, I might add, who obtained the nickname The Vortex of Vomit for obvious reasons? Somehow I can't consider a head that spews forth constant vomit as "cute." Then again, the Tongginator is not the one cleaning all of it up. She is, however, the one often stepping in it.

... forgive me for playing Hearts on the computer all weekend instead of answering your emails? Because Hearts is kind of mind-numbingly distracting when dealing with grief, whereas emails... not so much.

Sunday Linkage

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 08:10:00 +0000

As always, I don't necessarily agree or disagree with these links, but I believe they are important to consider. For those of you new around here, I'm an adoptive momma. Each Sunday I try to post links relevant to the China- adoptive community. I read some of these linkage posts while nodding my head in agreement... others stretch my mind as I seek to understand. Always, always, I consider them.

I Knew Everything. I Knew Nothing. -- first mother Jenna at The Chronicles of Munchkin Land... describing how it felt four years ago to become a mom after having already been a mother for two years

I Am Mental -- adoptive momma (China) LMGNYC at La Bicicleta... learning that it's all about what is best for your particular child

Defending Adoptive Parents -- adult adoptee (Taiwan) Mei-Ling at Shadow Between Two Worlds... the number one reason Mei-Ling doesn't feel the need to defend adoptive parents

Is My Son Lucky? -- adoptive momma (Vietnam) Martha Nichols at the group blog Adopt-a-tude... thoughts after hearing the "he's so lucky" comment yet again

Adoption: A Beautiful, Broken System -- adoptive momma (India and Liberia) Jamie Martin at Steady Mom... describing the imperfect solution that is adoption

Reality vs. Fantasy -- adult adoptee (Korea) 윤선 (Yoon Seon) at 안녕습니다 (annyong seumnida): My adventures as a Korean adoptee... balancing her emotions about adoption with the thought that perhaps it is sometimes necessary

What answer would be good enough? -- waiting to adopt (from China) madduchess at the disloyal subject of the red queen... expressing frustration with the many adoptive-parents who react so harshly to the voices of adult adoptees

China trips -- adoptive momma (China) OmegaMom... visits to your child's birth country: balancing an ideal with reality

Is Silence Golden? -- first mother Cassi at Adoption Truth... using her very unique perspective (now parenting her once relinquished child), Cassi shares her thoughts about communication between an adoptive mother and a first mother

Four Steps to Cope with Post-Adoption Depression -- adoptive momma (China) Elizabeth at Don't Call Me Mother... tools to help minimize the effects (or chance) of post-adoption depression

Sunday Scripture

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

You are my God, and I will give You thanks; You are my God, and I will exalt You. Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever.

Psalm 118:28-29

你是我的神, 我要称谢你! 你是我的神, 我要尊崇你!
你们要称谢耶和华, 因他本为善, 他的慈爱永远长存!

诗篇一百十八: 二十八- 二十九

Thankful For...

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:17:00 +0000

I think we all remember the "I'm Thankful For..." feathers we did during our school days. But - in case you've forgotten - here's a look at Ms. Confetti's classroom gratitude turkey.

It's so heart-warming and precious to read about all of the people and things that the children feel thankful for. They expressed their gratitude for their parents... for God... for the Thanksgiving holidays... for siblings and friends... their grandparents... and for having enough food to eat and a home to live in.

And then there was the Tongginator...

What a turkey.

Red Sauce, Red Face

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

subtitled "and this is why most people from my real life don't know I blog"

Two evenings ago, the husband and I hosted a spaghetti dinner for a bunch of friends from church. I tripled the batch of spaghetti sauce, knowing I'd send a few families home with leftovers as well as saving some for ourselves. But there was still quite a bit left over - even after all of that - because only half of the expected crowd showed up. I didn't bat an eye, though, since all I needed to do was call Ring and let him know he had enough spaghetti sauce for two home-cooked meals.

So call I did. And I left a message.

Last night he picked up a Tupperware filled to the brim with delicious smelling goodness. If I do say so myself. Which I do. Ahem. Anyways, he stopped by on his way home from picking up the twins at after-care. It was right at the beginning of the Tongginator shower time/ bed time routine. She heard the doorbell and wanted (NEEDED!) to know who was there. I heard her daddy yell at her to "get back here right this instant!," so I turned around to see the source of all that commotion.

The Tongginator stood... stark naked... on the third step from the top floor.

TONGGU MOMMA: Tongginator! Get back upstairs right this minute!

TONGGINATOR: But I want to say hi to Mr. Ring!!!

TONGGU MOMMA: I don't care! Get back upstairs! We don't run around downstairs naked!

She obeyed. And I turned around to hand over the sauce to Ring.

RING: (grinning, with a twinkle in his eye) That's a good lesson to learn.

TONGGU MOMMA: (total and complete blank stare... and then...) Oh! OH!!! You!

RING: Better she learn it now, right?

And that's when I started laughing. And so did he.

It's a good thing I adore his family so darn much. And that I Trust Him To Never Breathe A Word Of That Story To ANYONE At ANY Time. Otherwise I just might slip a little something into my next batch of red sauce. And don't worry about his twins, y'all. Pocket and Posies would never eat my spaghetti anyways.

It has grated carrots in it.

Knock Me Out Instead

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

TONGGINATOR: Knock knock.

TONGGU MOMMA: Who's there?

TONGGINATOR: Stinky.

TONGGU MOMMA: Stinky who?

TONGGINATOR: Stinky bottom feet. (uproarious laughter, complete with belly jiggling)

???

TONGGINATOR: Knock knock.

TONGGU MOMMA: Who's there?

TONGGINATOR: Rainbow.

TONGGU MOMMA: Rainbow who?

TONGGINATOR: Rainbow... with lots o' colors. (unending giggles, with possible rolling on the floor)

???

TONGGINATOR: Knock knock.

TONGGU MOMMA: Who's there?

TONGGINATOR: Banana.

TONGGU MOMMA: Banana who?

TONGGINATOR: Banana banana banana. (an actual guffaw, followed by a snort)

???

Welcome to my world right now, y'all. Please help me feel better... tell me the Absolute Worst joke you've ever heard. (But please remember that Tonggu Grammy reads the blog.) And allow me to take a quick break from banging my head against the wall to say thank you.

One. Busy. Day.

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

This post brought to you by an eternally grateful daughter, who requests that you please shower Tonggu Grammy with effusive compliments for her hard work yesterday.

Last month, Tonggu Grammy came up with this oh-so-brilliant plan to share all things Native American with the Tongginator's kindergarten class at some point in the future. Ms. Confetti thought that sounded like an excellent plan, so she invited my momma to come in the week before Thanksgiving break. Because even though she, my momma and I know that most First Americans actually shy away from the holiday celebrating the "friendship" that led to the loss of their way of life, we thought we'd embrace the irony of it all. Oh, and because that's when most school curriculum calls for teaching about the "Pilgrims and Indians."

Ms. Confetti and my mom plotted and planned, pretty much leaving me out of the whole process. Which was probably a good thing... because I just might have fainted if I learned ahead of time what my momma was going to talk about with a bunch of five-year-olds. In case y'all didn't know, my momma may look like your standard run-of-the-mill white woman, but she is, in fact, part Cherokee. And, as you'll see, she takes her Native American heritage mighty seriously. She is all about sharing Past and Present Authentic Information and Stuff.

Tonggu Grammy would Die Of Absolute Mortification if a child walked out of her classroom still believing that ALL Indians used to live in tepees or that Native Americans of today still wore traditional dress on a daily basis. I mean, I'm sure y'all know that Native Americans lived in a variety of abodes, depending on their region and tribal customs, so why on earth do the schools just teach about tepees? It boggles the mind. I mean, what about the longhouses, wickiups, wigwams, hogans, chickees, pueblos and plankhouses? What about the igloos and asis, the earth lodges and sod houses? I mean, the least they could do is teach about wetus, the homes used by the Wampanoag tribe... you know, the tribe talked about in all those first Thanksgiving stories.

Grr...

Anyways, as I said, my momma is all about sharing Past and Present Authentic Information and Stuff. Because it's important for kindergartners to learn all about the atlatl, or spear-thrower, that can launch a spear the entire length of a football field.

And it's vital for them to understand all about how warring First Nations tribes would hit their enemies in the head (to kill them) or in the shoulder (to disarm them) during battle.

And what kindergartner wouldn't find it fascinating to learn that most indigenous peoples of the Americas used a mixture of animal brains and water to soften animal hides, making them more pliable and comfortable for use or wear?

And of course it's vitally important to touch various animal pelts (ones in which the fur remains) and hides (where the fur has been scraped off). I mean, how often does one get to actually feel a bear claw and live to tell about it?

And what sane person wouldn't find it utterly fascinating to hold the Cherokee doll that Tonggu Momma once played with as a little girl?

Or to learn all about how the Woodland Indians up and down the east coast used to place cattails, moss and soft grasses in the bottom of a cradleboard to act as a "diaper" for the babies resting inside? And who wouldn't then want to make a kindergarten version of a cradleboard, with a baby inside who sports a happy face on one side and a sad face on the other, depending on whether or not the moss, cattails and soft grasses need changing?

And - of course - what five-year-old wouldn't giggle at the sight of Tonggu Grammy demonstrating how most indigenous peoples of the Americas would creep up on their prey wearing the hides and pelts of the animals they hunted?

And it's important for them to bang away on authentic musical instruments, including drums of various sizes, a turtle-shell rattle and a variety of rawhide, gourd and deer hoof rattles.

Plus, what child wouldn't enjoy learning to write in pictographs, since it's impossible to mess up the spelling?

The children also got to look at an authentic spear; Inuit bone fish hooks; and arrow heads of various sizes, made by various tribes. They were able to feel the pelts of a raccoon, rabbit, deer, buffalo and fox; authentic children's dolls made by the Pueblo, Inuit and Sioux; a traditional Blackfoot dancing stick and an all-important Talking Stick. They sang traditional songs in the Iroquois and Cherokee languages. And they played a traditional Zuni game called Po-ke-an.

Tonggu Grammy and I were only in the Tongginator's class for a little over four hours. I later told her and Ms. Confetti that I dubbed the day "Native Americans... On Speed."

TM Goes Kaboom

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

I've started coming out of my introverted shell a bit, y'all. Because yesterday? I went to another bloggy meet-up. Oh, yes, I did, even though one of my best buds believes that I take my life in my hands whenever I do this. I've tried to reassure her that meeting CC and Professor X, Aunt Lolo, Lisa and Ivy are some of my most favorite blogging-related memories. She still frets, as does the Husband. He always wants to be sure I've charged my cell phone and that we are meeting in a public place. Oh, and that whomever I meet is actually female.

I think he just likes to worry.

I mean, do Alece and Lisa-Jo look like men to you?

me, Alece and Lisa-Jo in a Northern Virginia Starbucks
(and I'd like to make a general announcement, letting y'all
know that Alece stood on her tip-toes for this photo)

I didn't think so.

These are two incredibly sweet ladies, both of whom impressed me greatly with their spitting abilities. In other words, they both speak Afrikaans. (And I thought I was oh-so-cool with my level one Mandarin abilities. Pshaw. That? Is NOTHING compared to these two.) Lisa-Jo is a South African by birth and American by marriage, while Alece is the founder of Thrive Africa.

I actually DID take my life in my hands, however, but not because of meeting Little Miss Grit & Glory and the Gypsy Mama. Because on the way home? I got into a car accident. Oh, yes, I did. And here's where I'd like to be able to go on and on about the moron who hit me, but - unfortunately - I am the moron.

Yep, you read that right. I, Tonggu Momma, am the MORON!

(I can't believe that I! Am! The! Moron!)

I rear-ended a carload of sweet, cute-as-buttons, "Thank you, Jesus!"-ing college girls. Oh, yes I did. Traffic was horrendous and I was trying to switch lanes. Only I live in the DC area, so of course no one ever allows anyone to get over. So while I kept glancing in my side-view mirror, looking for a break in traffic, the cars in front of me all slammed on their breaks. And when I actually SAW the break lights, I did the same. Only I was a little too late.

Which resulted in a rather large kaboom.

Or maybe it was just a minor kaboom. Because not one of those sweet little college gals was seriously hurt... and the damage to both vehicles was actually quite minor, all things considered. Thank goodness for bumpers. And seat belts. And stellar brakes.

umm... do you think I might need a new license plate?

and here is a photo of the slight gap between my bumper
and my car... not to be confused with the rather huge gap
between my ears, where my brain should actually be

The only serious damage? Was to my pride. And - whine, whine, whine - my back feels sore, too. After much quiet reflection, I'm choosing to blame all of this, not on my inattention and horrifically poor depth perception (because that would be absolutely way too convicting), but on that second large latte I drank. Which - when you think about it - is really the fault of Alece and Lisa-Jo. Because I wouldn't have drank that second latte if I hadn't stayed so long. And I wouldn't have stayed so long if I hadn't enjoyed those ladies so very much.

Which means I think two certain someones owe me an apology.

I'm just saying...

Sunday Linkage

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:10:00 +0000

As always, I don't necessarily agree or disagree with these links, but I believe they are important to consider. For those of you new around here, I'm an adoptive momma. Each Sunday I try to post links relevant to the China- adoptive community. I read some of these linkage posts while nodding my head in agreement... others stretch my mind as I seek to understand. Always, always, I consider them.

Dear diary -- adoptive momma (China) OmegaMom... her daughter shared with her a recent entry in her diary that began "dear diary: I relly miss my birth mom"

Power Over Others -- first mother Cassi at Adoption Truth... her response after reading a recent response on an adoption forum that included the sentence "Birthmothers are birthmothers. Plain and simple. They gave birth, and that was the extent of their mothering. It's not a slur. It's the un-candy-coated truth."

Learning from Experience -- adoptive momma (China) AmFam at American Family... discussing her Chinese-American husband's experiences with racial and cultural identity as the child of immigrant parents

faith, hope and love: part 2 -- Caroline, who works with orphans in China, at her blog Letters from Beijing... flashing back almost two years, Caroline remembers a little baby she found abandoned and wonders about his mother

Understanding Loss -- adult adoptee (domestic) Phil at Finding Jane Doe... thinking about adoption loss after his sister-in-law experiences a miscarriage

Finding the Hooey and Tossing it Out -- adoptive momma (China) LMGNYC at La Bicicleta... attendance at a recent book signing by Mei-Ling Hopgood, the author of "Lucky Girl," causes one momma to think about adoption parenting - and the hooey that often comes along with it

What would I say to a young me? -- adult adoptee (Korea) 윤선 (Yoon Seon) at 안녕습니다 (annyong seumnida): My adventures as a Korean adoptee... after watching the movie "Adopted," this blogger considers what she would say to her younger self, if she could go back in time

Just My Humble Opinion -- adoptive momma (Ethiopia and domestic) Jenny at Real Mama... thoughts from a Christian after attending a Christian adoption seminar

On Roots -- adult adoptee (Korea) Juli Fraga as a guest blogger at Design Mom... exploring her thoughts about adoption after having given birth to her daughter, her first known biological relative [HAT TIP to Andrea at Adoption Road]

November is Adoption Awareness Month: There Should be no 'Give Backs' in Adoption -- adoptive momma (China) PunditMom... sharing her thoughts about the recent media frenzy (and subsequent book deal) of Anita Tedaldi

Sunday Scripture

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:00:00 +0000

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

James 3:17

惟独从上头来的智慧, 先是清洁, 后是和平, 温良柔顺, 满有怜悯, 多结善果, 没有偏见, 没有假冒.

雅各书三: 十七

Beyond Laundry (and Culture Camp)

tonggumomma@gmail.com (a Tonggu Momma) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Do y'all remember the time I experienced a bit of a laundry crisis last year? Well, for some reason everyone seems to forget THE most important part of that story, which was that the husband and I were heading out the door to hear Adam Pertman, the executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, speak about the institute's initial findings in regards to exciting new research about transracial adoption.

I promised y'all back then that I would share the results of that study once the institute published the results. Well... the results came out this week. And I wrote a brief overview of the study at the group adoption blog Grown In My Heart. Check it out! I promise I kept my clothes on.