Our Little Worm

Kian is almost year n 1/2 and Alex is four 1/2

2016-09-16T06:31:00.001-07:00

So having two kids is clearly little busier then one! 😛👧🏼👶🏼. As awesome and as much as I love my two babies. Holy hell they keep me busy and exhausted at the end of the day!!! ( mind and body).

It's like a great workout ;). ( but all day long !!!)

Haha. Anyway. IV kept a little journal of Kian's milestones in my phone notes, and will one of these days update this blog with his pictures and more from the past year n half. But for now. I'll just post a few recent pics💋.

Maybe its the full moon today or who knows or between being with kids 24/7

Soccer, dance, gymnastics,ballet all starting. Then travel, some work, house cleaning, cooking and spending time with family, today I needed a break from it all!!!!

So wonderful husband who prossibly might think I'm a dragon that spits fire when IV had enough.

came home early from work and took kids to park and museum

While I had some quite time to do some work that I enjoy ❤️. It was amazing !

I felt like a monk in the Himalayas.... Awww zen🙏🏽

Ok but in between kids making fort in living room using every pillow n blanket they could find, then Kian taking his diaper off and going to the bathroom in the lovely fort, and all the food n drinks they thought it was fun to get every where while I was cleaning n making breakfast ...... Haha. Then trying jump off the couch on top of the fort ( which made me burn the pancakes n set of fire alarms since I was trying catch Kian from face diving into the floor. Well in the middle of all this. I managed to take some pics of these two wild Monkies. So yahhhhh.

It's just to bright out outside the fort!

Look ma I spilled all of Alex's juice everywhere. Isn't it nice!!

Now she's some sort of a princess with a horrible wig, short dress and heels😝And Kian's chunky legs don't fit so well in her doll stroller 😉. But gave me a good laugh😂

After 6 hours of cleaning, feeding and playing! Jeff come home early !

Most days I'm good and don't need a break but today I did!!

So I went up to my office. Got little sad after the house being so calm and quite after an hour!!

I know is nuts !!! I beg for a break and then I'm sad and miss them when they r gone!!!

Anyway. Instead Buggin Jeff every min to send me pics and reports of what they ate, how they r playing, if Kian napped or pooped,

I made myself an office on the belcony and started to catch up on my jewelry stuff & displays for upcoming shows and venues 🤗🤗🤗🤗

Meanwhile

Kids were having a nice

Daddy day

Ok now I'm gonna try n sleep to have some energy for Legoland and all the fun adventures today!!! 😳😝😃.

It's a boy!! 20 weeks preggo! Half way there!

2014-11-15T01:04:00.001-08:00

So I'm actually about 22 weeks pregnant now but this are some pics from last month.

Alex is 2 years and 7 months!!

Yes we are having a baby boy :) everything going good so far, in my 2 trimester!! Finally getting some energy back and not so nauseas all the time!!

Baby is kicking a lot !! I think the first kick I felt was nov 5 :) around 18 weeks

My belly is growing by the min!! Alex is super excited and seems to understand there's a baby in my belly.

She asks me almost every day how baby is feeling, she says she loves her baby brother ( ya complelty melts my heart!!)

She kisses my belly and tries to put food in my belly button thinking she's feeding her brother.

Alex

You are out of diapers now ( well almost) still wear them night for now.

Still training n having some accidents but doing good so overall.

You are a very smart girl who knows and says wayyyyyy to much.

You are totally a girly girl, you love pink everything, nails painted,all my makeup, glitter, sparkles, ballerinas, skirts, dance parties, dresses, tea parties, baby doll stuff, acting like a mommy, shopping with me, and of course " princess anything"

You loveeeee your swim and music classes and pretty

Much any kids u can play with.

I really couldn't ask for a sweeter, smarter or more precious girl then you.

( yes u def can get crabby, stubborn and super demanding and drive us nuts some days but over all I love the way you are and wouldn't change a thing💗)

my sweet girl, your baby brother is very lucky to have you as his older sister.

Here r some pics from last month:)

15 weeks here, belly and 3D ultra sound

16 weeks here

You love your baby brother and keep asking me to take him out

Your trying see him through my belly botton

Baby giving a thumbs up and this is 19 weeks Hand all five fingers!

U can kinda see half the face here sideways

Music class

Halloween with my Rapunzel

Mexico

Me n u!!!!

Zoo

Potty training

Auntie kaylenas

With your two BFFs Mila n Charlie- naked party I guess

Alexa and Alex!! Another BFF

Mexico

Halloween bday party with friends

Mexico and baby bump. With your gramma Connie and our friend Clo

More Mexico

At the airport

Morning cuddles with you might be the best thing in the world!!

My little amigo

Your uncle Alex.

Striking a pose with that broken leg

Work event we did at a festival

Tring stuff food In my belly to feed your brother

Mexico last month

2 yrs 3 months

2014-07-29T07:36:00.001-07:00

Hi my sweet girl!

You continue to grow, change, devolope and form everyday.

Every single day you say or do something new. I love love to see and hear every little change and new thing you learn.

Every parents says their kids are amazing, well ya it's cuz little humans are so amazing how fast they grow, change and become into thier own beings.

But since I am you'r mom I of course just think your the smartest, best thing ever!! Haha. No really but you are truelly one amazing little soul.

Worm #2. Coming march 29th!!

2014-07-26T01:25:00.001-07:00

So it's July 21st and I'm writing this all down now but probably won't post it till another month or so.

Jeff and I decided we wanted another child little bit ago and thought we would start trying this summer.

I said it as a joke, saying " well if we conceive this July they can have birthdays in the same month"

Since Alex was conceived on July 4th weekend 2012.

Well haha ..... Be careful what you wish for.......

Took a pregnant test ( and then 3 more just to confirm)!!!! Yaya maybe I have slight denial issues and don't always believe the tests :)

They are all positive 😜😜😜🙈🙈

So looks like you are going to be a big sister!! & have to share your birthday month ... ( sorry about that)

But Whooh as much as we were more ready this time, and even planned it, I still felt bit light headed after that line started to turn pink.

I sat there in complete dis believe that it was happening again. I think the flood of all those emotions is what makes the moment so sireal.

You feel so excited, nervouse, amazed, scared, then thinking again on how things will forever change (big or small) from this moment on.

How will we ever love someone else as much as we do you, How am I gonna chase after two kids? Give enough attention to the both, dress, worry about, play with, make sure both are feeling loved and not left out!?!?

I think about every single thing I do with you, but how do you devide that into two now??

Ok I know people do it with two three even ten !! And yes those people deserve a metal of honor and prob early very early retirement but still. How am I going to do it, no idea.

But I think about before you were born and all the things I couldn't completely comprehend that came pretty fast and naturally after having you.

So I'm guessing the same happenes with the 2 child ( i hope )

In a way a second child is by far easier in the fact that you feel like you have some experience now and at least know little bit what to expect.

But still it's a crazy feeling finding out.

Week 3

So since I won't be post this for another few weeks. I'll just update this.

Well we have our first doc appt. Aug 14!! That's probably one of the most exciting and nerve wrecking appointments.

Even tho the pregnancy test are positive. That first doc appt. confirms and actually sees if there's a vital heart beat and if everything looks as it should. So until then I'm trying to relax, not worry, and think good thoughts as I feel all is going as it should.

----Ok aug 14th doc app update---

First appointment went great! Ultra sound as well as everything looking good. Very hard to tell much at this point except that there is a little one growing and it has a heartbeat.

Saw the little tiny baby ( that literally looks like a caterpillar) on the ultrasound and saw the little flicker of a heart beating inside..... Such a cool feeling to see that as well as putting some nerves at ease ( for now)

--babies first heart rate measured at 141--and first picture 😘😘

After the doc appt. we decided to let most of our friends and family know

Since iv been pretty nauseas and super tired and didn't wanna make excuses for why I couldn't drink all the sudden either. Haha.

Got Alex this shirt and send the pic to family n friends. With the headline .....

"Pink or blue either one will do, I wished for a playmate now mommies due. 🙊💗March 29"

Doc appt # 2. 13weeks now

Sep 22

Everything going good so far, baby's heart beat 154, saw it moving around, saw its tiny little hands and feet! Pretty crazy how human like it looks at only 23 weeks and about 3".

So here is the profile of face and body

Here it is the arm and hand kinda waving

Face profile

And although it's still pretty early to tell and the nurse said it's not %100 sure yet and we will know when they do the full anotomy check, but she got a pretty good view and gave me a little clue to what the sex of the baby is 🙊.

Ohhhh boy. 😉

2yrs 2 months

2014-06-04T14:19:00.001-07:00

I'll be back on this post to fill in on all the new stuff with Alex. For now just getting the pictures loaded on here :)

Happy 2nd Birthday !!!!!

2014-04-04T10:38:00.001-07:00

I woke up just an hour ago at 9:05 this morning ( crazy cuz u were born at 9:06am ) I'm laying here watching you sleep while remembering this day two years ago, so bittersweet. Seems like iv been your mom forever and can't remember what life was really like before having a child, yet you change so fast that at times I already miss some of the baby moments.

Ohhhhh so many emotions today. So I'm just gonna savor these last moments of quite time n memory's before you wake up, family comes over and celebrations begin!!!
Today we are just doing some family stuff and taking you to a bouncy world. Tomorrow we celebrate with everyone and having a big party for you!!

My darling daughter all I want to say is I love you more then I can ever explain, so so proud to be your mom & feel extreamly blessed that you are my in our lives. You make us smile everyday, you ground us, motivate us, keep us on our toes ( literally, cuz your always moving), challenge us, make us stop and take in life, make us understand how deep love can run, bring us all closer then ever, as you are the true center and focus of our lives. We love you so much baby girl.

Here's a look back at this day two years ago

http://wormingtons.blogspot.com/2012/04/alexandra-riis-wormington-has-arrived.html?m=1

Birthday bubble bath

Making some Mickey blinchkie. Taste better then it looks.

You were 8 days old here with your grannie Connie

Advice for new moms?

2014-03-22T09:25:00.001-07:00

Saw this article and wanted to include it on my blog. It serves me as great reminder or maybe (for any new mom) to help appreciate this point in our lives and to really enjoy it.

But first here r some of my fav pics from this month :) 😘

You stole your dads steak! I guess it smelled better the the carots & peas I was trying to feed u!!

Helping me water flowers with the mismatch socks

Beach day-- love them so much with u

Dj Alex

Ring around the Rosie

Disney land ( ill post more later)

Diva!!!!!!

A couple we randomly run across here on the beach- we met them and their adorable daughter when she was only few days old. Here we ran to them on the boardwalk and u girls connected

Yep this is how I get woken up most mornings. Foot in my face !! Hehe yaya still cute

With daddy

Can't wait to get you into dance class

Yogurt convention in LA

Head first

Our friends son Aiden. Although he is 8 and just become a big brother- he tolerates you torturing him most times ;)

On the boat

Swim class

Kisses with grandma in the back

Cornado

Hmm someone isn't watching your chocolate in take

Sky zone

With grandparents visiting

~~~~<<My two loves>>~~~~

~~<<<<here is the article >>>>>

A LETTER TO A NEW MUM: “GIVE YOUR BABY THE BEST OF YOU, BUT ALSO GIVE YOURSELF THE SAME CARE.”

Michaela Fox Sunday 22 December 2013 7:30 am

1.1k

Motherhood will challenge, reward and amaze you.

Dear new mum,

Congratulations and welcome to the next chapter of your life! Motherhood will change you in ways you could never have predicted. It will challenge, reward and amaze you. It will exhaust, confront and enlighten you. It will stir up emotions within you that have a new origin. And it will most certainly be the greatest accomplishment of your life.

As you navigate the sometimes rocky path of motherhood, don’t be afraid to trust your instincts. Listen to your heart and learn to ignore the critics. Try not to concern yourself with what others may be doing. Instead, focus on what works for you. Follow your internal cues and be strong in your resolve.

When you experience troubles, as you often will, try to focus on what you are doing right rather than what is going wrong. In this way you will learn to ride out the parental storms and emerge a stronger, wiser mother.

Try not to worry too much about “losing” your identity. While you may shed layers of your former self, you are creating a new existence. Adapting to your new life can be lonely in the early months, but know that nothing is forever. Your old self might rest dormant for a while, but it will burst into new life, as you become a more evolved version of yourself.

You will receive advice from well-meaning friends and from complete strangers. Do not be burdened by their intrusions. Learnt to insulate yourself from the “noise” that pervades the parental landscape. Do not let the judgement of others have a place in your mothering story. You are the protagonist of this story and you will find your own path.

Try to find a new way of parenting. Adopt the best parts from your own childhood experience and create a new way forward. Allow your partner to help shape the future of your growing family. Parental love is not only a revision of family love; it is also an investigation of self-love.

Cherish each and every moment.

Don’t let guilt overwhelm you. There is no benefit in self-blame. Make the best decisions you can based on your unique set of circumstances and be sensitive to other parents’ decisions. Just as no two children are the same, no two mothering journeys are the same. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t measure your happiness against what you think you see. Avoid comparisons; move to your own mothering rhythm.

Through motherhood you will experience many complex emotions. At times you will laugh so hard you will cry, other times you will shed tears that sting with pain. You will experience the force and discomfort of raw emotion. There will be times of sheer frustration and times of pure, unadulterated joy. Don’t be frightened by these emotions – rather embrace them. They are an essential part of your journey.

Give your baby the best of you, but also give yourself the same care. Be gentle to yourself. Find moments for solitude and reflection. Reserve a part of yourself that isn’t for sharing and nourish that side. Prioritise time just for you and it will pay dividends for the whole family.

There will be times when “good enough” parenting is all you can do to survive, and then there will be times when you thrive. Know that every stage will pass, and often all too quickly. The days can be long, but the years pass fast.

Try to maintain a sense of humour in the midst of the chaos. Laugh often and laugh lots, and surround yourself with happy, helpful people who will form part of your village.

Yes, it’s true life will never be the same. But if you had wanted your life to stay the same, you wouldn’t have had children.

Finally, while it’s impossible to enjoy every minute of mothering, grab hold of the moments that are joyful with a firm grip. There is no app to freeze time but your rich experiences are like deposits into your family’s memory bank.

You are on the most significant journey of your life. Cherish the ‘firsts’, savour the ‘lasts’ and love your children intensely.

Michaela Fox is a freelance writer, blogger and mother. She has three young daughters and sometimes wonders why she had them in under 3 years! She is hoping that short-term pain results in long-term gain. You can follow her onTwitter, join her on Facebook or read her honest musings on motherhood at Not Another Slippery Dip.

Love this article I found called " Best years of my life"??

2014-03-22T09:24:00.001-07:00

“The best years of your life.” Seriously?

The elderly woman wrapped a warm thin hand around my forearm and leant in close. At first I thought she had stopped to steady herself as she shuffled down the long aisle at Broadway Coles. But with a smile on her lips, she leaned in so our faces nearly touched and said: “These are the best years of your life. They will go quickly. Cherish them. Don’t have regrets.”

She gently patted the sling that held the 12-week-old bundle snugged softly against my sore, leaking breasts, nodded firmly and walked away.

It was the first of many times over the following decade that I would be stopped by a stranger and given the same advice. But I’ll never forget that first old lady, because at the time her warning bemused me. “The best years of my life.” Seriously?

I was 21 years old and had found myself 1,000 kilometres away from family and friends, unexpectedly navigatingparenthood, university study and work. I wanted to arrogantly scoff “I’m educated, I have ambition, I haven’t slept in two months, I sing nursery rhymes 18 hours a day and I accidentally left the house in my pyjama bottoms this morning – surely this is not as good as it gets!”

But time makes fools of us all. Flip forward 13 years and I’ve just sat down at my desk after seeing my fourth, and last, child off to her first day of school. It’s the end of an era; a great big chunk of my 33 years of living ends today. And the old lady at Coles was goddamn right.

In the years between then and now, I carried four wonderful people, nurtured them, saw their characters develop, independence blossom, talents emerge, vulnerability morph into resilience and ideas become beliefs and opinions.

“Those little things slip through our consciousness and become tiny memory fragments we will never feel, hear or smell again.”

There have also been countless career opportunities passed up. Jobs I’ve stepped away from so my husband could step up to his, without removing both parents from the household from 7am to 7pm. Press releases written with newborns at my breast and toddlers under my desk.

Brainstorms punctuated by nappy changes and playtime. Potential clients turned down because there simply weren’t the hours in the day to give them, and my family, the attention they deserved. And I wondered, hoped, prayed I wouldn’t come out of that period with regrets.

Years later, and the little bundle that lay in the sling that morning at Coles will become a teenager this year, and begin high school next year. I try to conjure her voice at age two; the pitch, the tone, the divine mispronunciations. Those little things slip through our consciousness and become tiny memory fragments we will never feel, hear or smell again.

And so today, no regrets. Sure, I could have earned a bit more money. Could have chased bigger fish. But the times when I tasted that life – missed class presentations, half-cooked meals at 8pm, holidays spent stressing over poor internet connection and missed emails, fights with the husband and kids who fell asleep on the hardwood office floor at night, waiting for me to finish work so I could spend time with them, made me realise I didn’t want what came with it. So like many other women, I down-scaled my career just as it was taking off. Because I knew I could never go back and do this ‘mother’ thing again.

When I was a teenager, schoolbags were plastered with bumper stickers that said “girls can do anything”. Career counselling consisted of lectures about law, medicine, physiotherapy, stockbroking and journalism. Home economics was removed from the curriculum. It would have been considered downright sexist to point out the paradox. Some careers can accommodate the needs of a family better than others; those choices – whether we like it or not – exist. We can do anything. But if we want healthy, happy, satisfying lives – we can’t do it all simultaneously. Man or woman, there are choices, sacrifices and losses down either path.

We do not raise boys or girls to think like this. We don’t educate them to jobshare, downscale, work from home. We raise them to take every opportunity, rise to the occasion, get a bigger office, build a more impressive client list, fulfil their potential. No one mentions what we have to surrender, on the professional or personal front, to do this.

Earlier this month, the girls and I stood by the bed of their deceased 92-year-old great grandmother. As her body lay surrounded by family members, the room was filled with love and gravity. It didn’t matter how much of the planet she had traversed, who she had impressed or how many degrees adorned her office wall. She had raised sons, grandsons, nursed a dying husband and buried a son. She had been a community member, friend, devoted great-grandmother, card writer, tennis player, book lover and never forgot a birthday. And in that moment of death, that is all that mattered, that’s all that remained, treasured.

“I can promise you one thing. You will never regret the sacrifices you make for them now.”

Our children are the warmth that we leave in the world long after our own fires are extinguished. The gravity of those early years is hard to imagine when we dream of writing headlines, performing surgery, drafting legislation or publishing books, as opposed to changing nappies, mediating Lego disputes and doing the bedtime routine – but it’s profound.

Once kids start school, they enter a vortex from which they never return to be fully, totally ours again; time with them is negotiated around a timetable of school days, weekends, social lives, activities, term dates and holidays.

And they emerge young adults, with dreams, plans and all those forks in their own roads to navigate. Much of their journey will be done without us. We will never stand by their side as we do in those first five years.

So for those of you fidgeting at home today with a restless baby at the breast, for those who have been interrupted by a toddler 20 times while you read this, I can promise you one thing. You will never regret the sacrifices you make for them now.

It may not be possible to fully appreciate the beauty of this time while you are in the midst of it. But one day, sooner than you can imagine, you will be standing on the other side of this chapter, trying to remember how their skin smelt, how their body felt sitting on your hip, head on your shoulder – and you will be filled with gladness for every moment, good and bad, that you experienced with them.

Oregon Visit ~family ~ back In March of this year

2014-03-18T06:46:00.001-07:00

Visiting Jeff's family. Your great grandparents Jane and Larry, grandparents Connie & Jed, cousin Paige and auntie Kayla & hubbie Aj. Good times. They have been my family now for almost ten years 🙀🙀 and it was cool for you to get so see them all again and meet some for the first time. I know Jeff loved it .

r u really almost two!?!?)

2014-01-29T07:29:00.001-08:00

Hi sweet girl...

Wow I can't believe your a month alway from being 2 yrs old.

Iv really wanted to stick to this blog more and keep better track of your first few yrs. but some how iv gotten busy and time flu by.

Your dad and I have been very busy with a few new business projects, along with keeping up our everyday jobs.

Iv put all my online work on hold for now as well as doing hair, to spend more time with you.

Although with my mom being back in San Diego to help watch you few days a week so I can catch up on work and house stuff, I still spend most days with just you and I.

You are very energetic, curious and full of personality & character.

Def stubborn when you want to be ( yes I blame that on me!) or we can call it determined. :)

outgoing, super social, very friendly, optioned ( yep already!) you already have formed options on what you like and don't. Rather it's clothes, food, people, toys or actives, you usually voice if your happy or not.

You are full of life and did I say ENErGetic?!?!? Haha. You keep us on our toes at all times :). Never a dull moment with you.

We are having so much fun with you now that you are becoming this amazing little aware of everything human.

It's truelly amazing to see you change,form, & become into who you are.

I love you more then you will ever know:)

Your mama

Oh found this article thought if share ( pretty cute)

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4618254

21 months and a new year!

2014-01-10T19:11:00.001-08:00

Quick Update

You are talking more and more each day, putting words together and naming many things.

You Imatite everything we and others do, so now we really have to watch what we say cause you will repeat everything! Especially the stuff you shouldn't at times!! You can say " mama I wuv you". You said it the other day without me asking you to say it and it was the best feeling ever. You leaned over gave me a kiss and said I love u! ( yep if you ever want anything or need to get away with something all you have to do is, just that!)

You can say what's up daddy, daddy stinky, cute baby, I'm a princess and a few other phrases.

It's really cool now that I can understand you more.

You are super sweet and usually always say " thank you", when someone does something for you, or if someone gets hurt or trips you always ask " u ok"?

Your fav phrase is " no, I'm good"

When I ask you how old are you, you started saying three.

In the past week you love dressing up like a princess. And anything that's a puffy dress you right away say " princess" and then you make me put it on you and even some of your toys.

You got these light up heels for Xmas and you put them on with your dress and dance around the house.

So yes all the sudden you've become super girly. ( I love it!)

You simply adore most other kids especially especially little girls that are a few years older then you.

Whenever we go to the park or anywhere you see kids. You walk up immediately to them and say "HI" and begin to babble,

Some kids are more shy and get taken back by you and tend to turn away.

And when that happens it breaks my heart cause you look so sad right way and you hang your head down low and have the sadest look on your face as u walk back to me to tell me, your new friend isn't wanting to play with you.

We went to Tahoe and San Francisco for New Years! Your first time getting to touch snow. ( you were not too impressed with it)

Anyway those are just a few things, I gotta run for now and will keep trying to keep this journal of your milestones going.

We love you so so much never will any words explain it. Here r some pics of this month.

Love u Mama

Christmas time!!!

2013-12-28T10:28:00.001-08:00

So we were so excited for the holidays and having you open gifts on Christmas Day.

Since you are old enough now that you have some favorite toys, characters, and things you like, we couldn't wait to see your face.

So yes I think we enjoyed Christmas more then you did I think !! :)

You've been Obsessed with Mickey Mouse so needless to say we got you everything Mickey.

So did everyone else!!

Yes my house now looks like the Disney store with Mickey Mouse characters of every size and shape.

The funny thing is your favorite out of everything was the little Barbie house I got for you and a pair of princess heels that light up.

Maybe your moving on from Mickey to Barbie and all the girly stuff. We shall see. Ok here are some pics!

20 months

2013-12-27T00:40:00.001-08:00

IoIv been writing here and there but haven't published it on here since a lot of it isn't finished and unedited.

Iv been keeping track of stuff that you do but just haven't had time to add all the pics and edit all my grammer :)

Every night I think of you as you go to sleep and on all the new and old things that have happened.

So I guess maybe I shouldn't worry about making a perfect post, with all the pics and the right grammer.

I will really try just to write about you and the works around you as i perceive it.

I will just apologize to you now for the writing, misspelling, grammar, and any others mistakes I make on here.

I am writing from my phone, with one hand late at night as I nurse you to sleep.

Ok so after all I figured, better just to do something then never to do it at all cuz it wasn't perfect.

There so much I want to catch up on right now, but it'll take to long so ill just start from here on out and keep you posted on the present.

And slowly fill you in on all the months missed.

Ok so to speed this up

Lets see u are 20 months and soooo much fun. You can say about 40 different words on your own and starting to make short sentences.

Like " where's daddy "

"I want down" let go" gotcha "

Daddy stinky". I tired ' mama I wan boo boo". You run pretty fast

Oh ok I'll get back I think you r waking up

Ill add more soon !

October fun

2013-10-28T15:24:00.001-07:00

RIP my sweet grandma

2013-09-09T07:51:00.001-07:00

This is one of the hardest posts I have made.

I considered not, but want you to have memories of her even till the last day.

Sep 5, ( my brothers birthday) thur morning you woke me up to feed you around 730am like usual, after you fell back asleep I glanced at my phone for the time and saw a missed call and a voicemail from my mom from ten min ago.

My mom has never called me that early for no reason.

I knew right at that second that something really bad has happened, I knew one of my grandparents has passed.

Iv been dreading this phone call for so many years now as I knew one day it would come.

I immediately felt sick to my stomach and couldn't breath.

I ran out to the hall way and screamed for your dads name, ( he was downstairs heading out to work).

I collapsed down in the corner and listened to the voicemail.

My mom was crying so hard I couldn't understand, all she kept saying was my name.

I felt so sick I couldn't even cry, I called my mom back and asked. " mom who?? Grandpa or grandma.???? Who?? My mom couldn't even catch her breath to tell me, she kept crying and saying my name, and finally she said.

" Lena, Lena oh god I lost my mom today !! my sweet mom is gone today! oh god" and continued to weep.

As your dad sat terrified next to me not knowing exactly who or what happened. I finally told him, I grabbed my keys and ran over to my moms.

We booked our flights to Chicago Immediately to be next to my grandpa and been here since then.

I felt like it was all a dream, I didn't really even feel like I was in my body, to say the least I was in a weird shock.

iv never had anyone close to me die, never been to a funeral.

Today I will be attending my grandmas. Your great grandmas.

I can't put into words, how I feel or how much I loved her, ( love her).

I can't explain right now how close I was with her and what a big part of my life she was,

I can't explain every memory that is running through my head with her in it.

Thinking of every summer, birthday, and holiday I spent with her.

My dads parents died when I was really young so I never got a chance to know them but my grandma ( grandparents ) helped raised my brother and I. Most of all my happy childhood memories were with them.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 3 yrs ago and started to decline quickly in the past year.

The morning of the 5th she woke up went to the restroom, my grandpa helped her back in bed and moments later she peacefully passed away with my grandpa by her side.

I want to tell you about all the amazing things about her, but the anticipation of the funeral today makes it hard to say anything else right now.

My heart feels broken and I feel a knot in my stomach. And I strangely enough feel a certain calm and peace right now like she is still here ( maybe she is).

I'm suppose to speak at her funeral today but honestly don't think I will be able to.

Not sure I'm ready to say goodbye out loud just yet. So this is also why I'm writing. Maybe to help with today. Not sure.

I will write more about her and all the good times but have to go now.

You got to meet her one time 9 months ago, here are some pictures as I will put up more ltr

This is a short video of her holding you for the first time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De76sECTdg8&sns=em

1yr & 4months

2013-08-22T10:12:00.003-07:00

Yes time seems to be speeding up. The summer has gone by in the blink of an eye. You continue to amaze and make me smile everyday.

Your personality becomes more obvious each day as well. You are super energetic, curious, observant, smart, careful, very out going, determined, know exactly what you want, ya it's really interesting to see all this at such a young age.

You are a true Aries ;)

You have 7 teeth now

You can somewhat say your name ( when I ask " what's your name you say "alya" in the sweetest voice

When I ask how old are you? You say " tre". Then I say no no babe you are not three, You are one, you nod your head yes and say " tre" lol. It's funny

You love Micky mouse club and couple other cartoons.

You have couple fav toys. Dolly, pink teddy and the scuttle bug.

Yes you still sleep in our bed :0

You can run pretty fast

Your taking swim classes and doing great. (Except when the instructor throws you in the air and dunks you underwater you get little mad)

You like two eat the full apple (not cut up in pieces) yep only 7 teeth yet you prefer to try and eat it all at once

You refuse to get spoon fed so I just put the food on the tray and you finger feed yourself

You love potatoes, tomatoes, beans, little trader joe ice cream cones, blackberries, strawberries, grapes, rice cakes, and if you can get a hold our our chips or fries u love those !

You love flavor in the food, spice, salt, sweetness, even super tart just not anything bland.

So we do our best to just give you as natural and raw stuff as possible with some herbs for flavor.

But that doesn't always work. Sometimes u just wanna eat what everyone else is eating. ( I don't blame u)

You loveeeee other little kids. Anytime you see one you walk up take it by the hand and start talking your talk.

Yes you talk soooo much but notin any language we understand, you have so much expression when you speak, like you"re telling some crazy story.

We just listen to you and say wow, really?? Tell us more!

I can't wait until I understand more of that you are actually saying, because I know you will always have alot to say with your own interesting opinion to add.

You weigh 24lb now

I can finally put your hair in little pig tails.

You are blonde curly hair blue eyed girl and so so beautiful.

You have traveled quite a bit with us already, Mexico, Chicago, Boston, Los Vegas, up north to Disney land, Palm Springs.

You LOVE constant attention

You know when people are talki g about u or to you. If they are not and you want to be included, you will say " ayyy " in a louder voice until you are noticed.

1st Birthday

2013-06-27T10:35:00.003-07:00

Birthday Girl finally makes an appearance

thinking" what is going on and who are all these pe

Last of the Party, ( i think you were trying to tell me you were ready to eat and sleep)

so i said "ok lets go"

my two preggo girlfriends

yes you were def tired and done for the day

Family Resemblance

2013-06-19T08:05:00.001-07:00

Im picking up a resemblance here i think (=
especially the bottom two here of your uncle and grandpa!!! wow twins

so starting from top left is you, them me, bottom left is my brother(your uncle) and black and white bottom right is my dad (your g`pa)

so this is me, you and my brother all around the age of 1

grandma brought you some pics to look at

sweet girl

bath time 4 u

Milestones @ 13 months

2013-05-15T04:36:00.001-07:00

Quick update of new milestones!

You now have 4 tooth! Two top two bottom

I no longer have to give you little bity pieces if stuff, You can chew mostly anything semi soft and you always like to feed yourself.

You mostly use you fingers to eat but lately you wanna try and eat with a fork

You said your first two syllable word this weekend!!! And it was "cracker". Haha. You have these favorite crackers of yours from trader joes that you love. So when all else fails and you don't want to eat I ask " do u want a cracker ? " and you always say" da" ! So today when I had you're crackers in my hand and I said what is this you said " cra-ca" and then you said it million more times! You also say mamamamamaa very well and ALOT!

You do try to make out same sounds we make and have come close to saying certain words.

You imitate everything we do, like blow our noise, wipe something down, smell something or make a face.

You have a million facial expressions and baby babble noises you make.

You gesture alot. Point, wave, blow kisses, pucker lips and give kisses, so no no no with your hand. You can nod yes or no. You laugh, giggle,grim, smile,squint your eyes when you flirt or something is sour, you say ah oh and woaaahh whenever something is interesting to you.

You say woof woof woof when u see any kind of dog, and meeeeo for cat.

Airplanes and motorcycles make u stop and look up or point.

You are getting n even better at all your dance moves!

You can go up 3 flights of stairs all by yourself ( with me or jeff always behind your little butt)

Your walking is devolving into a little run when you get excited.

You love swimming pools and trying swim on your own (even tho u can't yet )!!

Your hair is getting longer, lighter and curlier and your eyes are def a pretty sky blue color as your hair is a strawberry blondish tint.

You love touching your head and hands to your toes and doing a little yogi pose .

You r a ball of energy and so much fun now! I love it.!

You like to open and close everything, pull toilet paper out and undo it.

Putting things in things is always fun for you.

You do know when we so "No" and most time you even listen ( unless u r fussy)
Mostly I can't complain :) Except you waking up a night still to eat and have me nurse you back to bed! Ok it's not so bad most times. :)
This week we celebrated Mother's Day for the 2 time and my Bday the next day !
You make me laugh and smile every day and every time I think it's not possible I do fall more in love with u everyday

I love u always n forever

Just some pics for now 13 months

2013-05-10T07:07:00.001-07:00

Nope ! haven't stopped posting just cause you turned one! Just been super busy. But I will continue ! For now here r some pics from this past month
You r 13 months!!!

getting into my makeup on vacation

your bunny ears from Easter found their way back on ur head (from g`ma K)

flirting with everyone in palm springs

w/the girls in palm springs

nice face

your

fruit smoothie at the farmers market

Hayden has a crush on you (;

on your birthday at the park ( enjoying some family time)

Mothers Day is this Sunday!!!!

One year today!!!

2013-04-04T10:10:00.002-07:00

I cannot explain how much my heart swells when I type these words. And at the same time I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
It's been a whole year since you came into this world.

You won’t understand these words until you’re a mother yourself. You won’t get the feelings. It probably won’t matter much to you until then.

“Yeah yeah whatever you’re turning a year old. I know.”

I am not terrified of it, I am not sad. All I feel is immense pride and joy. And a little bit of worry. That the future years will go just as fast. As much as im excited for it yet I already miss the past.
But I will do my best to live in the moment and enjoy each special moment as much as I can.

One year ago, today,I did not know how much my life would change. One year ago, today, I loved you, but did not know how much that love would stretch/grow/fill/change/complete. One year ago, today, your dad and i were excited and sooooo terrified and had no clue to how our life's were about to change.

Today, we celebrate a year of you, with a few close family and friends and our hearts filled with joy.
We celebrate the fact that we not only survived it, but somehow became better people in-spite of it & loved every moment of it.
And while I am teaching you little lessons, you are transforming the very core of me

This weekend you will be surrounded by what you will probably perceive as chaos, but there will also be close friends, family, all the people that love you.

As well as cake, decorations, lots and lots of photos.

You won’t remember it, but I know you will have a blast looking through pictures and videos when you’re older.

I am not going to say much more. (even tho i want to)
Except that I love you. That no one, and I mean NO one, will ever be MORE important to us than you.

That we have been, are and will always be doing everything in our power to make your life the best that it can be.

You are a year old!

You are the most amazing girl in the whole world and daddy and I love you!
Here are pictures and my very first post after having you one year ago
Alexandra Riis Wormington 6lb 5oz
~~~~~~~~~~~<<<<~~~~~~~~>>>>>>~~
Ill post pics of today later

almost a year

2013-04-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

million thoughts running through my mind but nothing seems to come out.

you are almost one years of age.

Although it seems a birthday is a birthday, and iv heard,celebrated and seen so many with others.

This one some how smacks me in face and wakes me up.

You will be a year old tomorrow 😜😂😃😘

In the last 21 months ( which to most of us fly by in a blink of an eye). You have gone from a single microscopic cell to a little girl who walks, eats, sleeps, giggles, cries, plays, loves and needs to be loved.

You have made so many fall in love with you, as i see you have picked out the ones you love back as well.

You are so small and so helpless yet you have tough me more in these past months then iv understood in a lifetime.

You have changed me, challenged me, made me so weak yet so damn strong, you have tough me patience, sacrifice and humility.

You have changed my body, my soul my whole life and every relationships in it.

You have made me so scared, sick to my stomach and feeling completely helpless of the idea of anything ever hurting you or causing you pain.

You have made me so vulnerable because I love you so much and couldn't and wouldn't want to imagine life without you.

You have given the greatest pleasure and joy iv ever felt when seeing you happy.

From all the roles i have played in my life, daughter, sister, cousin,friend, wife, co worker , employee and employer. Being you're mother seems to have been the one thats been the most important to me ( not to say the other roles havent)
but for some reason this role is way different then any of the rest.

You are strong, tenacious, daring, unyielding and so very loving. You have enriched all of our lives and blessed this family with your presence. You are a teacher, a calm spirit in the middle of chaos, a strong hug, a gentle smile and a mischievous grin. Your playful, come-as-you-are nature has already welcomed you into the hearts and lives of so many.

In your short time on this earth you have taught me the importance of love, family, parenthood, being a woman, empathy, responsibility, maturity, priority, and slowing down to enjoy & do it all right sometimes ,
For that I am forever grateful.

YOu have made me so mad at your dad yet more in love him since you are his other half.

There is not much rest for my mind or body anymore, yet I would never go back to a world without you.

I will complain, I will make mistakes, i will one day get mad at you, I will at times wish it was easier, and even breakdown and cry.

But I can promise you this my sweet girl,
To all my best control, I will always protect you, I will never rest till you are happy. I will do anything and everything in my willpower to give you the best life I could.
I will never stop trying to do my best with you.
Maybe not always in physical but I will Always be by your side and pick you up anytime you fall.
I will teach you, help you and love you along every step you make in this lifetime. And I will love you now, everyday and till the end of day.
I can promise you that

11 & half months!

2013-03-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

I would love to write more and keep up with this, i take sooooo many videos and pictures of you after a month it gets tough to get them all on her. You are walking so so much now and wanting to explore everything, im constantly chasing after you to make sure you dont hurt yourself.
You don't sit for one min. Nope not a sec! It's go go go all day long! It's hard to get you to sit and eat or even change your diaper cuz you r always in the go.

The only way you sit and relax is in the Bjorne or the stroller when we are out and there are plenty of people and things for you to look at.


stink face

getting your tan on

I have pictures I took with my nice camera from Disney grandparents visit beach and cruise that I have to post still. But for now here are some from my phone that I took.

beachy time

not sure why we are all sitting on the kitchen floor

on the boardwalk

duck face

Disneyland

We had to go up there for work and figured we should make a weekend trip out of it and so we took you to Disneyland for the first time.
Yes of course you loved it!! you Ooooohh and ahhhh at everything, and i could barely take you back to the room for naps throught out the day. You walked around and were happy all day. We didnt think you would really understand or care to much for it all since you are so young, but you def loved it. Really nice trip....here are some pics

disneyland

strawberry shortcake

playing in the park

your g-pa loves you so much

getting some appetizers

Disneyland

view from our room @ disneyland

disneyland

after a long day at Disneyland

little minnie

waiting your turn at the park to go on the slide with the big kids

walking with gpa

yep you peed in my bed then showed me! thanks boosa

must seen mam get on her broom at night and fly away (=

whatttttt

Our roughly Daily schedule ; ( these times & activities defiantly vary day to day )

Around 10:30 am you wake up, i change you, you nurse for bit longer and then we play for bit till your ready to get outta bed and get dressed for the day.n

11:30am~1:30pm I pick up and make your food for the day and some lunch for me, while i let you run around and play in the living room, then i give you some fruit to snack on and around

1:30pm you start getting fussy and rubbing your eyes, so i normally put you down for an hour nap.
i nurse you again while you start to fall asleep, ( at that time i get on my phone and try to catch up w/ any with text or emails i need to get back to ) if im lucky you will sleep till

2:30pm if i dont have clients or work i have to do at home, you and i will go to the park, beach or grocery shopping.
when i have work you'r grandma will come and take you to the park so i can work,

3 pm I feed u again

4pm-4:30 your dad will come home who you get super excited to see the second he walks into the door.

5pm you have some snacks and normally ill take clients in the evenings, (luckily my salon is downstairs so while clients process I run up and spend time with u guys and prep dinner),
but if i dont have any all three of us usually go run errands or somedays we ditch or errands and go down to the beach for some exercise .

6- 7pm i start dinner meanwhile running around the house cleaning & doing laundry etc. we feed you and most times you will take a nap around this time for about 40mins or so

8-9pmwe eat dinner and start winding down for the night, I run up and shower while you guys play & watch some tv, then I give you your bath while your dad showers
10pm I nurse you to bed while we sometimes catch up on a show

4am like a little rooster you wake up hungry so I nurse you for 30 min& back to sleep we both go,

6-7am you wake again, I change you then feed you and back to sleep u go,
Most times I can't fall asleep so I get on my computer and catch up on some work read, or if I'm super tired ill get on Facebook and catch up on what's going on with friends ;) and then ill fall back asleep for bit till
9-9:30am u wake again to eat and fall back asleep for another hour or so till you are up for the day. At this time if I wasn't up most of the night I get up and get myself ready before u wake up. Or somedays if you kept me up ill just sleep in with you.
That's all during the week. On the weekend it's always random since we will go outta town or will be out all day doing something. You take your naps in the stroller or one of us will carry you in the bjone - other then that you love being out and about.
You love to stay busy all day looking,playing observing and learning everything.

You love being around all our friends & pretty much anyone that will give you attention and tell you how cute you are.

You are for sure your fathers daughter seeing how much you love to be the center of attention.
Your grandma Mila says you look identical to me when I was your age except for the way we behave.

I always loved being around lots of people all day but was much quieter and shy.
You on the other hand even at this young age literally come up to anyone and start babbling to them.

You also tend to be a bit of a klepto, I know you don't understand what's yours or not so far. So u have no problem picking up someone's bag or purse and walking away with it. I have to watch you in stores extra carefully so you don't accidentally walk out with something that was not paid for!

You fess less when we r busy all day doing something out and about then during the week at home when we have bit more of a routine

Beautiful days in feb

2013-02-27T10:35:00.002-08:00

At around 9 months 13 days you took your first independent steps. The next day you ran from me to grandpa, and back. Then to daddy and back. By midmonth you were taking 10 steps on your own. They were wobbly and were more like running than walking- you were in the process of falling and catching yourself over and over again.
You spent this last month doing nothing but walking holding onto one of our hands. You usually dont like holding two hands. Just one 1 finger is all you need and you can go all day.
You're dad thought it would be so cute to teach you how to climb up the stairs ( i kinda wanna kill him for that) cuz guess what you want to do all day?? Yep climb up and down the stairs! since we have 3 flights of stairs and you can barely walk still, i just stand behind you and watch, as you climb each step and glance back if im still behind you and watching you be a big girl. iv put only one gate up on the middle floor so you cant fall down, but i guess ill have to get few more to prevent you from trying to go up by yourself so far.

Your napping has improved greatly as soon as you started walking. You now sleep for at least an hour to 2 hours, with the average being 1.5 hrs. Most of the time you have 2 naps, but often you skip your last nap. Unfortunately that doesn’t mean your night sleep has improved. You still wake up 3x or more a night. We still bedshare and it works the best for you. And whatever works for you works for us, too. You're nursery and crib are still empty. Until you’re ready for a big girl bed and not nursing anymore, I don’t see you sleeping in a crib.

You're Grandparents came to visit you this month ( jeff's parents ). You're Grandma Connie was little worried it was going to take you little bit to get use to her since she hasnt seen you in few months, but the second we saw them and i handed you to her, you forgot all about me! Every morning that she would show up here you'r face lit up, you couldnt wait to grab her finger and walk with her, as you babbled a long story as you were trying to tell her all about you're day.
You were pretty good with you Gpa Jed too but for some reason you do tend to favor both of you're grandmas more then the grandpa.
Good times you had with them, they took you to the beach, boat and even a shopping spree!!! ( spoiled girl you are) yet you dont even know it.

you're first bike seat and helmet ( you loved the ride but not so much the putting on of the helmet)

You snuggle! It’s just so awesome to hug your soft warm little body when you put your cheek against mine and just lay there. When you wake up in the morning or from your nap, you roll around me snuggling for a long time, pointing at the lights on the ceiling, babbling, signing, givin my slobbery kisses and hugging me.

breakfast at one of our fav cafes down the street (fig tree cafe )

like i said you love playing with the girls

our mornings

you walked onto the balcony then closed the door on me

morning faces of alex

beach in feb

what a stud

Wind of changes

2013-02-23T09:41:00.001-08:00

" Change" "priorities " " different perspective" while associated with many other things these terms defiantly describe parenthood.
" Change is only understood when its taken place " Meaning we never truelly understand something until we are submerged in it, no matter how prepared you think you are, no matter how much it's around you, no matter how many people you know in that its happened to, or how many times you say it to yourself.
Still many things we don't get until it personally happens to us!
Well parenthood is one of those! ok so tons of updates but you just woke up and i managed to only get the pics up, so will fill you in on all the new stuff later on today <3

"no more diapers no more wipes! i just wanna be naked n free!!"

walkin with dad

"look ma i took this all apart in 2 min"

kiss kiss

Baby-led weaning

"sharing is caring" (unless you have claws)

beachy day

Add caption

and we are out! after a long day at the beach

beautiful day in feb ( yep its 80deg today!!)