Our Adoption Adventure

Making Inquiries

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 20:01:00 +0000

So no new news, but we have been making inquiries. This part of the process is quite a bit different than the international process. Basically we search photolistings and make inquiries based on the information there. Then if requested we send our information.

On the one hand I like being able to express interest whenever we want instead of waiting for the phone call. On the other hand you have to inquire on a lot more kids and not get responses some of the time. It's just the way it works. Also instead of being the only one expressing interest at a time there could be a lot of families doing the same. A couple of the children we inquired on I was told they had received over 100 inquiries!

On the plus side we have had a couple of longer conversations with case workers, and while those were not the right match for us, it felt good to be talking about things. There were no quick decisions yes or no, just conversations about whether it was a good match. Eventually it will happen. I have to keep reminding myself that we have only been doing this for a short time. It feels long because we were two years in the international process.

Another Concert!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 16:59:00 +0000

A lot of you know we have done a summer concert the past two years. This year we are doing it again. This time we are not raising money for our adoption - we have decided we would like to put our efforts toward raising money for a charity. This year we are raising money for Gilda's Club Seattle. This concert is in honor of my mom who passed away two years ago.My mom loved Gilda's Club and the organization meant a lot to her while she was battling her illness.

We have an excellent line up performing:

Sanjaya Malakar of American Idol Season 6
RedDog - who performed at our show last year
Kristin Allen-Zito

We are also having a silent auction with some really great items. If you want to check it out the list of auction items is here.

If you are in the Seattle area or know someone who would like to go - the ticket info is here.

I would love to see you there! There is also a Facebook page for the event if you would like more info.

Interesting Information on Matching

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Tue, 17 May 2011 20:09:00 +0000

I found this very informative document - Finding a Fit - on how a match is made between a child (or children) and adoptive families. It also made me wonder about the differences and similarities to how adoption workers find a match in international adoptions. Obviously every country is different.

Finding a Fit provides some historical information on how adoptive homes were found for kids, which I found very interesting.

In 1919 the manual for social workers said -

The laws of most states properly require that so far as is practicable, placements of children can be made in families of the same religious faith as that held by the children or their parents. It is also worthwhile to avoid mixing too diverse types of nationalities, as for instance, the very swarthy with the decidedly blond. There need be no question of superiority or inferiority raised in a rule to limit placements generally to similar personal, racial, or national types, or to approximations of them in their American descendants. No good can come from, and much harm may be done by, willful violation of customs and comity in the placement of children, even when the child welfare worker in doing so violates neither state laws nor his own conscience. --

The guide also states that until the 1970's adoptions were primarily for infants going to married couples. People were encouraged to keep the adoption secret from their adopted children. Matches were based on placing children with parents with similar physical characteristics and of the same race.

This excerpt about adoption practices in the 1930s is a little bizarre --

When infants were abandoned and no information on birth parents was available, some interesting practices evolved, based largely on the social mores of the time. In New York City, for example,“in the 1930s, the Catholics were given all the foundlings discovered from noon to midnight, the Protestants were given all those found from midnight to noon.”2 Although Jews made up a third of the city’s population, children of unknown background were not referred to Jewish agencies because of fears that a Christian child might mistakenly be raised as Jewish. This practice changed in the 1950s, however, when abandoned children were divided among Catholic, Protestant and Jewish agencies, a practice that continued until the 1960s.-- From Slingerland,W.H. (1919). Child-Placing in Families: A Manual for Students and Social Workers.

I found adoption history to be quite interesting, though a bit heartbreaking at times. It's good to see that ideas have changed and more and more kids will find their forever families.

Switching Gears

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:36:00 +0000

I know it has been a very long time since I posted. That is because right around the Christmas holidays we decided to switch gears and pursue adoption form the U.S. foster care system. This was a tough decision after all we had invested emotionally into adopting from Poland. We had felt strong in our decision in choosing Poland when we first started this process so it was not easy to let it go.

However, we are excited about this change and we know this was the right decision for us. I'm happy to say we finished all of new paperwork and now have a brand new home study.

The change basically involved doing some updates - which we would have had to have done anyway considering our original home study is nearly two years old, and taking some additional classes.

So now we are all set to begin again.

Happy Thanksgiving!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 20:41:00 +0000

I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope everyone has a happy and relaxing day with their loved ones!

Congratulations to everyone celebrating with their new little one or little ones!

Not Much Going On

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 16:42:00 +0000

I haven't had much to post lately. I guess after a while things just settle in and waiting becomes normal. For the first year the adoption was everything. There was so much to do and so much to learn. Now waiting has just become a fact of life.

So I just wanted to check in and say things are status quo for us.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Polish Language Website

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:34:00 +0000

Our agency sent us this link and I think it looks like a good site. It's from the University of Pittsburgh and you can do the first year language lessons online for free! They also have some good Polish links and a Polish-English dictionary.

University of Pittsburgh: Polish Language Website

Referral Turned Down

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 17:43:00 +0000

At almost exactly the year mark that our dossier had been in Poland we received a potential referral. This was not the first time we had received a "are you interested in" phone call, but it was the first time we went through the process of receiving information and asking questions.

As it turned out this was not the referral for us. We learned a lot from going through this. Now we have a list of questions that we are prepared to ask, and we are more familiar with how the process works.

It's not easy to make these kinds of decisions, but we know we made the right one.

Hopefully we will get another referral soon!

Spending Some Time in Canada

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 22:39:00 +0000

Last weekend Chaz and I took a little trip to Hope, BC. Since we are not taking a vacation this year, it's nice to have so many interesting places nearby. Hope is only a little over two hours away and since we had never been there, we decided to check it out.

Hope is a little east of Vancouver, and even more appealing you can use a less busy Canadian border crossing to get there. The one for Vancouver gets a little backed up, especially on holiday weekends.

For any movie buffs out there, Hope is where the movie First Blood (the first Rambo movie) was filmed.

While we were there we went to a park where there is an old railway line you can hike through - called the Othello Tunnels. The tracks have been covered over and there are several tunnels that were blasted through the mountains in the early part of the 20th century.

Here are some pics:

This is the bridge the sheriff drives Rambo over when he wants him to leave town.

This is the entrance to the Othello Tunnels.

Looking through the Othello Tunnels.

Chaz walking into a very dark tunnel.

Looking out of the tunnels.

This is the cliff Rambo jumps off of in the movie.

This is a sign that used to be over the street that led into town. It can be seen at the beginning of Frist Blood when Rambo first walks into the town.

A Tribute to New York City

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 17:14:00 +0000

I have visited New York City 3 times. The first time was in 1992, and I only got to see it for one day. My parents and I were staying in Atlantic City and my mom and I took a bus tour over to New York.

The second time was Chaz and I in 1999. We went back in 2003. The 2003 trip was an uplifting experience. It was both a sad and happy place. Visiting ground zero was an emotional experience. But was inspirational to see the city running at full speed only two years after the tragic events of 9/11.

I put together a little slide show of pictures taken during our 1999 trip.

This free digital slideshow customized with Smilebox

Concert Video!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 15:19:00 +0000

I have been taking a bit of a summer vacation from the blog. There hasn't been much going on other than waiting...

We finally have some video from our concert.

These are Chaz playing with his jazz group.

Concert Photos

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 16:58:00 +0000

Photos taken by Sheryl Lynn Grater of Grater Expectations Photography

This digital slideshow created with Smilebox

The Concert

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 17:57:00 +0000

Just wanted to give a quick update about our show. I hope to have some pictures to put up soon.

In the morning (at 4:30 am) we got a call from KIRO 97.3 radio that they would like to have a little spot with us at 7:30. I let Chaz handle that one on his own. Last year we did a little radio interview over the phone with both of us and it was kind of hard to figure who was supposed to be talking, so it was much easier just to have one of us do it. So we went back to sleep until time for the phone call. The radio interview was nice. It was very brief, but Chaz talked a little about adopting from Poland and then about our show that day.

The rest of the day we spent getting ready for the concert.

Everything went great, though we did have a couple of last minute (and I do mean LAST minute)changes.

When we got there we found out the person doing our sound was filling in for the person we had originally been in contact with. He did a great job! He wasn't very familiar with that particular venue, but he got everything figured out and the sound was great.

Another last minute replacement was the bass player for Chaz's band. The original bass player had another obligation it turned out. He found his own replacement, but hadn't told us! She was great too!

The music was excellent, both bands sounded fantastic. The audience had a great time and enjoyed our complimentary beverages and snacks. Honest Tea donated iced tea and fruit drinks, Food Should Taste Good donated chips and Raw Revolution donated snack bars for everyone.

Everyone's participation and support was very much appreciated by us. A special thanks goes out to Tony Ventrella, who is a local sportscaster and talk show host (for those not in the Seattle area), who spoke to the audience and helped give out some prizes, during the intermission between bands.

We Were On The News!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 23:27:00 +0000

KOMO 4 News, one our local news stations did a little tv feature on our adoption and upcoming concert! If anyone is in the Seattle area it will air again at 6 PM Pacific time. We talked a lot about our experience and the adoption process. The segment was only a couple of minutes, but I thought it turned out good.
KOMO Article

I noticed a couple of comments about " why international?" and someone said they thought it was morally wrong to only want to adopt from Poland?!? I know - thick skin.

Other than that it was a very positive experience!

Here is the video -

The Post Your Adoption Fundraiser Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 19:41:00 +0000

There is a new blog where adopting families can post their fundraisers - Post Your Adoption Fundraiser Here.

The idea is to get some publicity for your fundraiser, and to pay it forward later. Basically she is just asking that when people are done with their adoption they contribute to an adoption fundraiser in the future.

I think this is good idea. We are giving it a try. Our cookbook will be featured this weekend.

Chaz and I have talked many times about wanting to contribute to other people's fundraiser once we are done with our adoption. We all know how hard it is to raise money through fundraising!

What are your favorite adoption related sites?

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:43:00 +0000

What are some of your favorite adoption related sites?

I have a couple I visit, but I'm always looking for something new.

I visit the forums at Adoption.com regularly. Sometimes it can be tough reading, but I still like to look through all the sections besides the International and Polish forums.

I also check out the State Department website, just to look at the adoption notices and alerts. Well, when we were first getting started I looked at this sight all the time. So if anyone is just getting started - go to this site. You can find adoption alerts for specific countries, a list of Hague accredited agencies, and the adoption requirements for each country.

Once or twice a week I type "adoption" or "international adoption" into the Google News search, so I can see if there is anything interesting to post here.

I have found many interesting, uplifting, and sometimes scary things while searching about adoption on the internet. Do any of you have adoption related sites you like to visit - besides all of our blogs of course!

Our Polish Adoption Adventure now available on Kindle!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 00:52:00 +0000

This was an experiment, but now we have our own ASIN. I guess I should come up with a blog logo to use for an image. Maybe I will make a writer's blog for myself now, that would probably be good for Kindle.

Our Polish Adoption Adventure

I hope everyone has had a good weekend and father's day. Happy Father's Day to all the dad's and future dad's out there!

Adoption In The Media: Hugh Jackman

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 15:18:00 +0000

This article is a couple weeks old, but I just found it. From Britain's Daily Mail -

Hugh Jackman goes bananas with daughter Ava as the pair make the most of the New York heat

The 41-year-old actor and wife Deborra-Lee Furne ss decided to adopt after having trouble conceiving.

Jackman said recently: 'We were definite about it. Adoption is about taking a baby into your home - and your heart. It's the best thing we've ever done.'

I also remember Hugh Jackman talking about Madonna's adoption last year. I liked this part -

He says, "I challenge anyone who thinks you adopt a kid for a publicity stunt. Any parent knows that would have to be the most intensive publicity stunt in the world. I am sure she is coming from a good place.

"There are 130 million orphans in the world - who is looking after them? If you are a citizen of the world, on some level they are all our responsibility. And if you have got parents who want to adopt and there are children who need a home, it seems like a no-brainer."

Jackman has two adopted kids, Oscar, 8, and Ava, 3, with his wife Deborra-Lee Furness. He admits that they originally wanted to adopt a child from Africa or Asia, but the adoption laws in Australia at the time were so restrictive, they adopted both their kids from the US instead.

Personally I have agree. Celebrities have been getting a lot of flack lately for adopting.
The children are getting homes, and I can't argue that is bad. Some people think they are fast tracked, but I don't think that is true. I recently read an article saying celebrities don't usually publicize they are going through the process, so when the adoption happens it seems sudden to the public.

I just read yesterday that Sheryl Crow went through the birth mom changing her mind during her last adoption process. I also read Sandra Bullock's adoption took 4 years. Anyway I just liked this little article on Hugh Jackman.

Found a Couple New Polish Language Websites

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 01:11:00 +0000

This one looks really good - Learn Polish Feel Good.com (weird name kind of).

It has a section just for travel, and there are tests, so you can see how you are doing. I've only looked at this site a little bit so far, so can't say how good it is yet.

A Polish Grammar. This one is for grammar, and looks kind of intimidating, but should have some good info. I was thinking about buying a book on Polish grammar (because I really don't get it), so maybe this site will help me.

I've gone through the Pimsleur course a few times. I've put it aside, and then I will go back to it in a couple weeks, to see what I remember.

I'm on the 4th section of Rosetta Stone. I recognise a lot of words now, but the grammar always gets me. The pronunciations can be a bit tricky too.

Our Upcoming Concert! July 17th

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 30 May 2010 17:34:00 +0000

We are underway with planning our next concert to help raise money for the adoption. We did a concert last summer and it went very well, so we've been planning to do another one for a while.

Our last concert was a grass roots, word of mouth event, though we did write up a press release and had a couple of radio interviews. This time we are trying to kick it up a notch in all aspects. Tickets are available here: tickets, we have an great old-time stringband - RedDog - featuring one of the former members of the 60's group The Velevet Underground Doug Yule. We have booked a very nice theater for the performance. Chaz will also be playing with a group he is putting together for the show. I may sit in on a couple songs too.

We hope you grab tickets and help support our efforts to realize our goals!

We are really excited about doing the show, it should be a really fun night.

Here is a video of one of the songs from our last show -

"When It Rains It Really Pours"

My First Polish Meal

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Mon, 24 May 2010 01:36:00 +0000

Last night I tried my hand at cooking a Polish meal. I made Golabki (Stuffed Cabbage) and Royal Mazurek Krolewski (Polish Jam Pastry). I was a little nervous about the stuffed cabbage, because unless it's stir-fried I normally don't like cooked cabbage. When my mom made sauerkraut, when I was little, I wouldn't even go near the table!

But this turned out good! I substituted ground turkey for ground beef, and quinoa for rice, and it worked really well. I served it with some sauteed broccolini (not really Polish I guess).

I'm not sure how much the Jam Pastry looks like the traditional one, but that came out pretty good too. I had to use orange juice in place of lemon though. That's what I get for not looking at the expiration date on my bottle of lemon juice until after I came home from the store and started cooking.

Education Courses Done!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 16 May 2010 21:14:00 +0000

I haven't written much lately, but we have been busy finishing up our last bit of education, and today we did! We were using the Heart of the Matter: Because They Waited online/DVD program. I thought it was pretty good, though we both thought it might have been good to see an in person seminar. The section on attachment was particularly valuable and I think we may watch that one again after we get a referral.

Not much else is going on with the adoption. We are currently planning some fundraisers, so I should have more about that soon.

Oh, and I just started reading a book I think is going to be really good - "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years"

19 Polish Adoption Blogs!

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 02 May 2010 18:45:00 +0000

I just counted and I have 19 Polish adoption blogs listed on my blogroll (and I did count Adopting From Poland and Life as we Live It as one since they are the same family)!

I'm so glad for the blogging community. Reading about adoption can be overwhelming and it's nice to have a group that's sharing similar experiences.

Some of the blogs are in process, some are home with their children, and some are just getting started.

The first adoption blog I found was 5150 Miles to Motherhood. I jumped into that one, just as they received their referral and were planning their first trip to Poland. From their I discovered Adopting From Poland and Our Adoption Journey to Poland. As it turned out all three of them were in Poland at the same time!

For most of last year I did not blog. I read those blogs, and we worked on adoption paperwork. For whatever reason, I didn't feel like writing about it. I think I was still dealing with the loss of my mom, who had passed away in March. Just getting through day to day life along with adoption planning and preparing was about all I could manage.

Jump to this year and I wanted to write!

Soon after jumping back into blogging I discovered several blogs in basically the same timeline as us. Now Finding Little Pfalzer and Our Biggest Adventure Yet have referrals and have had their first trips to Poland! Oh yeah and On Our Way To Poland just got home!

Whichever Way We Get There also started in April 2009 (when we started), so we are almost on the same exact timeline (and maybe that will continue!).

There are many newcomers, which is exciting to see -- To Poland and Back Again, It's a Small World After All, and Polish Princess Vespa are blogs I just recently discovered.

I know I didn't mention all of them, but it's nice to see so many blogs.

If you have a Polish Adoption blog and you are not in my blogroll, please leave a comment and I will add it.

BTW - Diaper Monologues is not Polish, it's friend of mine who adopted from Russia.

These Pimsleur lessons are not without a sense of humor...

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 22:02:00 +0000

So I have gone through all 10 units of Pimsleur's basic Polish. I need to repeat 8, 9, and 10 at least once more, and then I plan and going back and reviewing the whole thing again.

A lot of the conversations are between an American man talking to a Polish woman. In unit 9 he asks her to have dinner (supper actually) with him and suggests several different times (this how we learn all the times). Every time she says "no," and then she says "no you don't understand..." But in unit 10 things are looking up for our American friend.

Seriously, some of the times are very difficult to say. I really have a hard time with 3 and 4 o'clock. Also, I still don't quite understand the phrase for "please repeat."

Does anyone know how to order tea (hot or iced) in a restaurant? I have learned the words for beer, milk, water, and coffee, and the only one of those I actually drink is water. I usually order iced tea when I go to restaurants, and my husband usually orders pop (or soda for all of you on the east coast!).

Overall it's a very good program, and it's helping me work with the Rosetta Stone program too.

Happy Earth Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sherry L) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 14:37:00 +0000