It's a Dangerous Life--OLD

That day....

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 10:14:00 +0000

That day just a few weeks ago, how it will forever be stuck in my mind.

The screams when we found out. The tears. The unknown.

That day you died. We all died that day.

All our relationships died that too.

Nothing will never be same.

Times spent together are now filled with stress and anger, what use to be filled with sweet memories and laughter.

We can't go back.

We can only go forward and hope this new normal eventually feels good.

Until then, we will continue to live moment by moment, angry word by angry word, and pray that everyone can get this through this and forgive each other.

Death brings out the worst in people.

I wish this nightmare would end.

This is how we spend Family day in the frozen tundra.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 14:19:00 +0000

We go sledding behind the 4wheeler!!

Slowly.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 22 Jan 2014 13:57:00 +0000

I've always been the one on the go, with the theory of make the most of your time, not waste it. Relaxing for me is an afternoon or a morning, by end of it, I am ready to do something. Boredom quickly sets in and I become a grumpy person. Nothing gets done when you are relaxing. Time is a wastin'.

Apparently, I needed to learn the lesson of slow down. And it sucks.

Its been one week since I injured my knee and things are getting better, slowly. Very slowly. Many of you have asked how I am doing, what you can do to help, etc. Its all so much appreiciated.

I still can not walk without a noticeable limp, and am using my crutches in hopes of not doing any further damage. I don't even know what's wrong with it still, but I don't want to take chances. I can't drive my mountain man, which is sad, since its a manual. No clutch for me just yet. I can bend it far enough to enter the shower somewhat like a normal person. I can do steps like a normal person, isntead of using both legs to go up one step. Its the little things people. But I still have to take it easy, slow down, and ask for help.

Pain and swelling are going down, but are still there. Today, its a little more painful and stiff than yesterday. Why I am not sure. It's still stiff and not very useable, but I am making it work.

Speaking of work, yes I am at work. Better to be at work doing something, sitting in chair with it elevated than at home doing nothing with it elevated. They have been great here, helping me out, running my errands, and generally taking great care of me.

Things at home are a little tense, as its a major change for everyone to get use to. K has learned to be more independent, and I have learned I have to sit back and let others take the reins. It's a hard lesson for me, but when I do, the knee thanks me for it.

Today is ultrasound day. Yes, this is the soonest the great free health care system could me in. Knees are not emergencies remember. The results will be ready in 2-3 days, so I have a follow up appointment with my dr on Monday. From there, we will know the plan of action and what damage has been done.

I'm not scared, well a little since I did hear about 4 pops when I went down. Frankly, I just want to get the show on the road. Let's move this shitty injury train a little faster so we all can start to get our normal routine back. I'm tired of being no help, I'm tired of getting shitty sleep due to the pain, I'm just flat out tired of it all. Fix it already and let's move forward, slowly of course.

Frozen peas are my new best friend.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 14:14:00 +0000

Last week, after coming home from work and feeling extremely guilty that these guys (see pic below, Toby on the left / Cora on the right) had been outside without much attention from us, I decided to bring them inside. I have done this a thousand times so to say it was routine is an understatement.

They were extremely excited and happy to be inside. Before I could even open the doors (see those double wooden doors in the background of the picture above, yeah those doors), they burst through and knocked me down in the process. I heard three or four pops in my knee and was on the ground in pain. I knew right away I had done something to my knee, my good knee no less. I immediately started going into shock, shaking and shivering, amongst the endless stream of screams and tears. Thank god those big dogs are about the right height. I used Toby’s back as a crutch to get me to the couch while I waited on J to get home. What’s an injured girl to do alone? Cry for help on social media of course. Thanks to all my friends who helped me through that time. It was scary being injured and alone.

I ended up at the emergency room, getting an x-ray, a shot of something to help with the pain, crutches and no diagnosis. I was told to call first thing in the morning to get an ultrasound appointment. My appointment is next week, yes a whole 9 days after the incident. Knees are not an emergency Ma’am, I was repeatedly told. ANNOYING! Three days after that appointment, I have to follow up with my family doctor to get the results, then if needed, make an appointment with a specialist. Follow up..Wait..No diagnosis..Referral..Follow up..Wait..No diagnosis..Referral..Wow, this process is productive to my health and makes total sense.

I live in Canada, I appreciate the free-ness of all this, but the timing is leaving me BEYOND FRUSTRATED!!! This is crazy ridiculous. By the time I might have to see a specialist, it will be weeks, probably closer to a month or more after the whole thing happened. How is that positive for my knee health? I realize a knee is not an “emergency” but shit this waiting around, hobbling around on crutches sometimes without and not knowing if I am hurting it more or doing what I am suppose to be doing is getting out of hand.

How is it doing I keep getting asked. Well… I’ve had knee injuries in the past. This one is different. It feels weird, its very stiff, and when I bend it the knee feels like things are balling up on the inside and resisting the bending motion. Almost like something is preventing it from going any further and sometimes it feels like something is moving around when I bend it. The only time it feels normal is when its frozen from my best friend, frozen peas. Swelling is minimal and concentrated to the inside of the knee, pain is more muscle achy now and goes all the way up into my quad muscle. Before, it was sharp pain but easily managed with meds. Now, with the muscle achy-ness, its more annoying and I haven’t found anything to take the edge off. I’m tired, bitchy and exhausted, but hanging in there and hobbling around on crutches. I just want to start feeling better. This lying in one place with frozen peas is getting a little old already.

Thankfully, J has been a great help, as has Danger. They both have stepped up to make sure things around the house are taken care of, the dogs are taken care of, and I have the things I need without having to go too far on my legs. I have been trying to go to work and return my life back to normal. It’s hard and I am ready to move to forward, whatever that may bring.

For now, I am cherishing the best medicine a momma can have.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 23:27:00 +0000

Instagram Photo Dump.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 22 Dec 2013 17:21:00 +0000

A letter from my Danger girl.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 20:10:00 +0000

(she wrote all this herself and on a note book piece of paper, I am typing it as she wrote it)

Dear Mom,

I hope you like what we got you this year. You’re the best mom ever that I ever now (I think she meant know). Your hair looked prettee today. Your makeup looked even pretteer. You better get some rest for Christmas Mom. I don’t want you to be tired. I think we should get dad some socks and a hat. He always wears a hat when its cold out. I think we need to get Sarah (our elf on the shelf) a bracelet and a necklace. She will love them. She loves those things like her owner K. Love you Mom. Can you please not work on Christmas. Hurry up and get home from work.

Love you Mom

(signed her name with a heart)

Sneak peak at Family Photos.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 15 Dec 2013 21:53:00 +0000

We haven’t had family pictures done for close to 7 years. Danger was just a baby, and couldn’t even walk.

Creations with Grace, our friend, took those and did an amazing job.

Well, this year I finally decided that I wanted new ones done. I mean, after all, Danger is in 2nd grade, its time to get updated.

And are you ready for a sneak peek?

I pick up the CD tomorrow. I couldn’t be more pleased with what I have seen so far. Flashes of Inspiration did the photos. Laura is an amazing talented lady who makes it so easy. Seriously, go see her, tell her I sent ya.

Our conversation from last night.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 12:54:00 +0000

**Danger and I were at home taking care of our evening chores. She was on the table doing her homework, I was running around feeding dogs, feeding humans, etc. J was driving home from work late.*

My phone rings. She answers it.

Danger: Hello.

J: Hi K, what are you doing?

Danger: Mom and I are having a PAR TAY. Yeah, thats right we are partying while you are gone.

J: Oh really.

Danger: Yes, now who dis? Jason? Beatrice?

J: Jason.

Danger: Ok, good, you are on the PAR TAY list. You can join us. (then she starts rapping/singing/making it sound like a party is in the background.

J: Wow, sounds fun.

Danger: Oh it is. Just wait till you get home. Gotta go dance and party now. Bye.

Enjoy the Cyber Week savings!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 01 Dec 2013 12:57:00 +0000

From now until Tues. Dec. 3rd, everything is 30% off. Custom projects or logos are included. Please message me for price quotes and scheduling. Currently, there is a one week wait period before your design can be started.

In the meantime, enjoy a few pictures of Danger. Winter is finally here, oh the joys.

Its getting closer.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 16:57:00 +0000

This weekend was our “get ready for the holidays”. We put up our décor, the tree, and made salt dough ornaments. Danger felt the need to start our salt dough at 6am. I finally deflected her until 7am, then I caved and we began our adventure. Three batches. A few mishaps, like a snowman that turned out to look like the male private part. All in all it was a good day.

I love this time of year.

There is nothing better than having the house all spruced up with red, green, and the twinkle of lights. Nothing warms my heart more.

Happy Halloween.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 12:19:00 +0000

Danger is Laguana Blue, from Monster High.

http://www.monsterhigh.com/en-us/characters/lagoona-blue

Thanks to her Auntie, Danger's makeup looks amazing!!

She loves these characters and I must say its nice to see characters take a stand on diversity, tolerance, and friendship.

Now, if the rain would stop, we might be able to go trick or treating tonight.

Changes are a coming.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 18:08:00 +0000

Next week, I will start a new work adventure. Its closer to home, which allows me to be a better mother, better wife, and better person. I can continue my career with digital marketing/social media and work 20 mins from home, rather than more than an hr.

Life is all about opening the door when opportunity knocks.

Let's get this new chapter started.

Arrows will never mean the same.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 27 Sep 2013 11:47:00 +0000

Loving this fall weather.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 26 Sep 2013 11:32:00 +0000

Yesterday, K had her dentist appointment. She did well, amazing well according to all the assistants there. I am so proud of her. It takes a brave little girl to get two root canals done in a matter of a few weeks, all only using local numbing.

Things are picking up around this place. Fall means lots of yard work and flower bed prepping for the winter. All ten flower beds to be exact. Its work, lots of work, but its all welcomed.

Its home. And its exactly where we need to be. Its hard to believe its already been one year since we moved to the farm. It feels like we have been here for much longer. This picture was taken the very first day we moved in.

-----------------------------

According to Danger, boring parents are mean and horrible. I think she was referring to other parents, perhaps the parents that don’t make their kids go to bed at a reasonable hour on a school night. Surely, she was not referring to us???

Getting ready for Winter, means getting a new hat.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 10:37:00 +0000

A new hat for Danger. What I can say, this girl is addicted her hats!!

She loves it and the process was simply and easy on the checkbook.

You can find the hat maker/designer on Facebook. She is amazing, but books up quickly.

Getting back to myself.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 21 Sep 2013 22:09:00 +0000

Life is chaotic, time is precious. Many negative things are happening around me, but I refuse to fall a victim to it. I have to find the silver lining.

I also have to remind myself to make time for myself. If I put energy into my well being, it will reflect on all aspects of my life. Danger will be happier. I will be a better mother. A better wife. No more excuses. No more putting everyone in front of me. I get up for work at 5am and get home at 7pm. That’s a long day. A very long day playing all roles pleasing everyone else. I need to play the most important role, myself a little more often.

Danger says it best.

Stella is getting her groove back and its starting to feel goooooddddd.

When it’s a monsoon outside…

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 21 Sep 2013 21:53:00 +0000

You turn to the ipod to keep you busy, hoping that atleast you have wifi or battery life.

Or you curl up and lounge, because with the windows open it’s a little cool.

Growth spurts for everyone.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Sep 2013 12:18:00 +0000

Danger, age 6. Likes Minecraft, Monster High, her Ipod, and playing with her furry friends. She has no fear and often says the darndest things. Wonder where she gets that from?

Cora, age 6 mos, Toby’s half sister. Likes to dig, jump, and play with the cows next door. She’s only been with us for a couple of months and has already stolen our heart, and our dog food reserves. She’s an eater.

Toby, age 10 mos, half older brother to Cora. Likes to be outdoors, play with his toys, and to steal towels/blankets (he thinks he is getting a towel dry massage). He has the sweetest personality and is generally a big goofball wanting a treat.

Let it be.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 16 Sep 2013 13:00:00 +0000

There are crazy things going on all around me. I can't let it get to me, or it will be a poison.

I am trying to stay positive, but the hurt keeps seeping back in. How could people, who you respected and gave your all to, treat you like that?

How can they live with themselves and the decisions they have made?

Do they not care?

Are they just cold hearted people who only look out for the interest of themselves?

I really should just go back to living in my naive bubble world, where people act like adults and treat others like they want to be treated. Clearly, those things do not exist anymore.

But in the mist of all the nasty and crazy, I have to remain true to myself.

True to the blessings in my life. Those are what keeps me going.

Look Out for Danger and her golf balls.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 14 Sep 2013 19:11:00 +0000

Start of 2nd grade.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 03 Sep 2013 14:00:00 +0000

Today, Cupquake Danger, aka Miss K, starts 2nd grade.

Over the summer, she has grown up so much.

She has:

1. visited family and friends in OK
2. gained independence and attitude
3. decided that she needed more danger in her life and decided she wanted to be called Cupquake Danger.
4. learned to use the computer like crazy
5. discovered Minecraft, the addiction of a game
6. been camping
7. visited the zoo
8. learned to ride her big girl scooter
9. got her hair cut
10. climbed trees
11. got a new puppy
12. learned to golf

Time is really flying by and my baby is no longer a baby anymore. She will always be my baby, but as she reminded me yesterday, " STOP BEING CRAZY, MOM." Yes, I need to stop being crazy, and start enjoying the moments more.

Time is getting away from us. Must enjoy the moments more.

We all need more DANGER in our lives.

Just can't get enough of this face.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 28 Aug 2013 15:49:00 +0000

How’s it going??

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 00:38:00 +0000

People keep asking me how its going, how’s work, how’s the new house etc.

Things are good, exhausting to say the least but good. My week is often a blur and I cherish my weekends even more now. A typical day consists of this:

430am- get up

430-500am- get ready

500-530am- take care of the dogs

530-545am- make lunches for K and myself

545- J gets up, he gets ready

555-620am- get K up, get her ready for school

625am- leave the house for the day

arrive at work at 8am

work until 5pm

get home from work at 630pm

630-700pm- take care of dogs, have K do her homework

700-750pm- sit down and relax with K before bed

750pm-800pm- K’s bedtime routine

800pm-830pm- get clothes ready for the next day

830- shower

900pm- bedtime

repeat.

Its beyond exhausting, its beyond crazy, and most days I really think I need medicine to cope. But its life, and we have our dream house, and things are going… Until I can score a vacation, things are going……

Single parents should get an award everyday.

home.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 20:20:00 +0000

Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.