Our Wonderfilled Life

24 Simple Advent Activities

2012-12-02T01:38:00.003-08:00

Fear not friends!

While today is December 1st, if you have yet to fill

your advent calendar, you are not alone.

I am putting the finishing touches on ours this evening.

I found that most of our activities fell within 6 categories:

craft

movie

event

silly

treat

giving

{Craft}

tree trimming, ornament decorating, snowglobe making

{Movies}

check out ABC Family's 25 days of Christmas programming guide

{Event}

zoo lights, polar express train ride, holiday town celebration

{Silly}

one of our favorites...

and another.

{Treat}

baking Christmas cookies, making Jesus a birthday cake,

celebrating any half birthdays during advent

{Giving}

simple acts of kindness

The organization of this list two dozen things just made it easier on me to add in our favorites and traditions, but also include some new things for the year.

For us the events usually fall on the weekend and the rest during the week, movies often on Friday nights. I also use the silly day on our busiest schedule day of the week, i.e. every Wednesday is silly day.

1. zoo holiday lights celebration

2. mail letters to Santa

3. read about the candy cane and enjoy one as a special treat

4. {movie night} jack frost and ice cream sundaes for dessert

5. do something special for someone in our family to say "I love you"

6. make and decorate ornaments

7. town christmas celebration and tree lighting

8. polar express to the north pole

9. make snowglobes

10. spreed some cheer to our neighbors

11. find mom for a silly break

12. gaze at the same stars and moon as they did on the night of Jesus' birth

13. make candy cane playdough

14. holiday lights drive and slumber party by the christmas tree

15. family bowling

16. half birthday treat and church christmas pageant

17. {movie night} gather all the Whos in Whoville to watch how the grinch stole christmas

18. a silly surprise will appear before your very eyes, say frosty 3 times!

19. {movie night} polar express and hot! hot! hot! chocolate bar

20. write down your gift to Jesus this year and place in our special box

21. dinner by candlelight to mark the longest night of the year

22. make your favorite cookie for santa

23. bake Jesus' birthday cake

24. Christmas Eve! open your WEAR present

In addition to this family focused advent calendar,

we will have our Jesse Tree and devotionals to follow along with daily.

We also do a Christmas book advent every night like this one.

While my boys are not quite ready for a full on

charitable advent calendar I love these 25 ways to pay it forward.

What are some of your family's favorite advent traditions?

peace,

:: michelle ::

Let them Play Ball {Inside}

2012-10-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

Since we have been back from Disney I haven't felt well.

Really it started before, but I just wanted to have this

special vacation for us, and we did, it was magical.

I bet you thought this post was going to be about something else {grin}.

I woke up and headed to the ER this morning,

I will spare all of the details, but with my symptoms,

the ER doctor told me {thankfully} later that he thought

I may have had a mass in my abdomen.

My CT came back clear.

I still have yet to have all of the answers I need,

but I do know at that moment, Matt and I reaching for each other's hands,

that all that mattered was us and getting home to hug my loves.

Fastforward...

Tonight I read a Facebook post from a well known author

{ahem, Mrs. Emily Giffin} and there are over one-thousand comments

about whether one should allow their children to play ball in the house.

Hot topic.

Overwhelmingly the answers were no, never, under no circumstance,

something could be broken, someone could be hurt...even with a Nerf ball....

it's the absolute worst thing you could let your child do.

OK, made that last one up, but some were close.

I say let them play ball. Nerf ok, whatever you decide.

Here no shoes inside, no baseballs indoors,

but we hung a basketball hoop {not talking the Nerf kind}

in our oldest's room and he is regularly found kicking his

soccer ball {used indoors only} around.

I might add his ball control skills have really improved.

I am sure you get my point.

It's not one of respect or injury, it's one of letting the little

stuff that doesn't matter go once in awhile.
Something I am reminded of often, like today,
most of you know our story.

Yes set boundaries, set rules, designate areas,

it isn't a free-for-all here.

Don't you love once you disagree with the majority they think you're

filming the next Animal House with your toddlers?

{Griffin could totally pass for John Belushi}.

I guess what I am saying is lighten up once in awhile.

I say this to my rule-following self.

Live a little.

Whatever is "the thing" ease up a bit.
It feels good, I promise. And it's hard for me too.

Maybe I just don't have a home filled with super expensive stuff,

no china to destroy, no massive flat screen tv to ruin.

Our floors and walls are dinged by life.

Would I love to have it differently?

In my mind I think so, but not in my heart.

We LIVE here.

Go long I'm open!

Night friends,

:: michelle ::

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

2012-09-30T22:05:00.005-07:00

When You're Fast Asleep....

More Disney pics to come,

aren't these precious?!!

:: michelle ::

Almost Three...

2012-09-01T20:17:00.001-07:00

In one short week, this little group of handsome men will be

T H R E E

Crazy isn't it?!

:: megan kelly photography ::

We have some magical fun planned for their big day!

For now, I am going to take in the last days of two

and relish the charms of the present.

{lovely reminder from Lay Baby Lay}

Wishing you all beautiful moments together

squeezing out the last bits of summer before it bids us farewell!

:: michelle ::

I Love to Laugh

2012-08-29T16:26:00.003-07:00

My girl Mary Poppins, we love her.

Today would have otherwise been a do-over-day

if it hand't been for her and the infamous

I Love to Laugh lyrics.

Ever since we did Mary Poppins in the 6th grade,

I can recall the words as well as I rattle off my own address.

The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me.

It's true isn't it, laughter just does it sometimes.

Aiden started laughing today for no good reason,

and Mary popped into my head,

so I joined him.

We were laughing hysterically over absolutely nothing.

Ethan came in from school and asked what we were laughing about.

I told him we were just laughing to laugh.

So he starts in and well it was contagious.

I could definitely use to laugh more,

and as usual my boys reminded me

how good it is for the soul.

Laugh away!!

::michelle::

My Brother's Keeper

2012-08-28T21:34:00.001-07:00

{via}

It may have had something to do with staying up way to late to

watch The Hunger Games last night,

but the idea of protecting one another
and the lengths we will go to do so has been on my mind today.

If you haven't seen the movie

{I think I was probably the last on the planet},

there is this underlying theme of protection.

Heck, the main character takes the place of her sister

in the ultimate battle for survival.

I have watched my little guys bicker like crazy,

so frustrated at one another, thankfully briefly,

but loudly and madly all the same.

Yet, I have witnessed this consistent way in which they

protect one another, all five, seat, toy, food, the most random

of things, they protect in their brother's name.

I'm not sure if I really noticed it much before today,

and it's not something I ever really explained to them how to do.

It just seemed to happen.

As a mom, I am going to try hard not to come between it.

It's so pure and honest.

Looking out for the one who is the first to read your life's story,

who has many of the same pages in their own,

is right, it is noble, sweet, and it is

just what you do.

Grateful my boys got that memo.

Good Night Friends,

:: michelle ::

Leap Frog Touch Magic Rock n' Learn Party!

2012-08-19T20:46:00.002-07:00

When the award winning maker of educational toys, LeapFrog, contacted me via MomSelect to host a Rock n' Learn party for their new Touch Magic line, I was excited! My boys have all loved LeapFrog toys, and I appreciate when learning + fun are combined. And if you know me, you know we love parties, so this was a great opportunity to invite our neighborhood friends over for some fun!

{keep reading to find out how you can have a chance at winning $500

toward LeapFrog products!}

In the spirit of LeapFrog toys, especially the new Touch Magic Line, I wanted to keep the party colorful and bright, so I created this tablescape to greet our guests.

We had star shaped sandwiches, pretty rainbow swirl balloons, monogram rainbow {inside} cupcakes {with the initials of our guests}, a little treat bag with a Leap Frog coupon, ABC cookies, and rainbow fruit salad which all tied in lovely with

Leap Frog's Rock n' Learn theme.

Now for the real fun, this Rock n' Learn guitar was quite the hit!! The boys wanted to play with it when it arrived, but we waited until the party so we could all play together.

{Touch Magic Rockin' Guitar}

The photos speak for themselves!!

Once they got this little guitar in their hands, rockstars were made!

Learning through music is so fun and our boys are always singing songs.

This guitar has some of their favorites like Itsy Bitsy Spider and If You're Happy and You Know It. They quickly learned how to strum and add their own sounds too. Despite how much all of our guests adored the guitars, they all took turns rather {to my surprise} nicely!

{dueling guitars}

When one plays the guitar, another can sing, tap, etc. and they formed their own little band.

Our homemade tambourines kept everyone in on the fun.

I just had to include this photo, these two fair haired boys are not brothers, but they look so much alike and they are making the exact same face, too cute.

They are starting their own neighborhood band!

Even this little cutie pie got in on the action!!

From my perspective and our parent guests, we really like how the guitars wipe clean. I am big on being able to clean toys especially with four little boys in our home playing with the same toys. So far the guitar seems quite durable too, we are hard on things. The only caution would be to do what we always should and supervise your children with the guitar strap. Mine had no problem with it, and it really is for preschoolers,

even though little ones enjoy it too.

Next up was this same new touch magic technology learning bus.

{Touch Magic Learning Bus}

The learning bus was also adored. The boys enjoyed finding their letters and the sounds they made. I like how the pictures and words are well-known and common. Some ABC toys use words that aren't as familiar and it makes it more difficult. One of the songs is Wheels on the Bus, which my boys absolutely love, pretty much their all-time favorite. The three modes learning, letter exploration, and music keep it interesting and fun.

I also very much believe that it is never too early to introduce letters to your children, especially when it is done in an exciting, interactive way. The learning bus is great to play with your kids, and for them to play together. Early letter recognition, letter sounds, all play into reading skills. I have really liked the LeapFrog range with letter recognition, and have used their toys with my oldest who is now seven and reading a few grades ahead. There were a lot of factors that played into reading early of course, and creative tools like these are so helpful!

Again, the bus is flat, easy to wipe off {as you can see they were playing during our lunch} and easy to use.

Both the Touch Magic Rockin' Guitar and Learning bus are available at major retailers. On a recent trip to one of our favorites, Target, we saw the new Touch Magic toys displayed which includes a Counting Train in it's lineup. Take a peek the next time your out and see what your little learners think!!

Thank you kindly Leap Frog and Mom Select, we are grateful for the opportunity!!

{your chance to win a $500 LeapFrog giftcard}

Rockin' Guitar Contest

{1} Submit a video of your kid jamming and learning with Touch Magic Rockin' Guitar or your own play guitar that you've made out of your own materials.

Here's an idea.

{2} Share video. Promote via Facebook and email to have your family/friends view and vote.

{3} Win! Each video will be judged by 50% highest number of votes, 30% originality/creativity, 20% relevance to theme.

Click the Rockin' Guitar Contest link above to be taken to the official page with all of the rules. Good luck and have fun!!

We received 2 Touch Magic Rockin' Guitars and a Touch Magic Learning Bus in order to host the LeapFrog sponsored Rock n' Learn Party. The opinions expressed here are purely our own.

Keep on rockin' and learning!

:: michelle ::

Mish-Mosh and More

2012-08-13T06:42:00.000-07:00

Hello sunshine{s}!

It was a rough few weeks of stomach flu,

yes this time it decided to take one down every couple days,

so generous! A few of us older ones were spared, silver linings, always.

Last week everyone was back to normal again and

well, we wanted to take full advantage of all that is summer.

This is how I am feeling about summer coming to an end via

the start of school in a little over a week...

{via}

Every year I get anxious and sad for E to go back to school,

yet so excited for him because his excitement is contagious!

I was relieved when out with a friend recently she said the same thing,

the anxious part, the changes, a little unsettling at first, the time of year.

I will admit, I am not jumping up and down with joy about

getting back into the schedule, it doesn't leave much time to

wonder or wander or just be sometimes.

This year though, I want to amplify the happy,

proud of all the amazing things we did this summer.

A dream-come-true trip to Disney still to come!

And really just the simple fact we were explorers and adventurers!!!!

First, though I have to share this precious picture of Aiden

when he wasn't feeling well.

Once everyone was feeling better we made these No Bake Energy Bites. The recipe actually came from Auntie Kath all the way out in Colorado {grin} but I wanted to source it easily for you. She sent it on for Liam to have a heart healthy treat. Seriously, she's the best! The boys, especially Liam, absolutely love them and we have made 4 or 5 batches since the first one at least...perfect summertime treat!

And now I am hitting the publish button.

If you can believe it all of the boys woke up for the majority of the night,

including Beckham who went to the ER around 2am

for what we thought was a possible broken foot from earlier in the day.

Turns out he is just fine, more bruising than anything, but he would not walk on it.

The entire house was up, it's going to be a long day!!

More stories, fun, and photos to share, be back soon!

Happy Monday!

:: michelle ::

Olympic Hopefuls & Idea Roundup

2012-07-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday!

I hope today brings no more sick bellies or puking little guys,

who have still smiled through it all.

No matter what we'll try and celebrate even if just a little because...

The Summer Olympics are finally {almost} here!

This makes me grin, really big. The Bumbo Bobsled. Hope it makes you smile too.

While I feel like the Winter Olympics were just yesterday, this picture tells me

they were awhile ago, look how little these gold medalists are!

I remember E and I made the Olympic rings out of plates and he made a torch too.

I recall using tinfoil and constructions paper, like this one, he loved it.

We competed in a few homemade games, I am sure E won them all,

in the sleep-deprived state we were in at the time.

I am excited, but I will admit that didn't come until pretty much just now.

I feel like you don't hear much about the Olympics and then BAM! you're

inundated and held captive by it for 2 weeks!

I rounded up some fun and simple ideas for the kiddos.

Lovin' this typography...

{via}

:: Play Along ::

Create your own scorecards, especially awesome

for gymnastics and diving. You can make these however

your little heart desires.

{Spoonful.com by Disney}

Or these to keep notes throughout the games,

they are fantastic right?! They will also fit

into a project life scrapbook {which I don't have but awesome idea}.

{free from crashnotes, thank you!}

As featured here by babble.com, there are loads of awesome

Olympic games printables. Fresh off our printer is this

insanely cute board game and their opening ceremony bingo.

{Tiny Me's Games Printables : Go for Gold Board Game}

:: Food ::

I have to say, I think these are my favorite

from an Olympics themed party, so very clever and simple.

I bet you have ice cream cones and popcorn in your pantry,

go on take a peek.

{a small snippet}

:: Crafts ::

I mentioned Imagination Tree's Salt Dough Olympic Medals,

as part of the Toddler Ten and they are on our list for tomorrow.

Click the link below the picture for instructions.

I promise you have what you will need.

{imagination tree : salt dough olympic medals}

:: Research ::

I know E will want to visit the official Team USA and London Olympic websites tomorrow,

if only to check out all of the sports especially the lesser known

canoe slalom and handball. Who knew?!

Or visit London via one of these reads at your local bookstore?

I am sure most have an Olympics section setup.

{lilsugar.com}

Or this duo from the Magic Treehouse Series.

Enjoy!

:: michelle ::

Can I get an AMEN?

2012-07-26T20:35:00.003-07:00

Thank you Jenae from the amazing and creative idea filled blog, I Can Teach My Child for pinning this and to those who pinned before her and so on. I am just glad it reached me.

While my actions don't always portray this, it is surely how my heart

feels and such an excellent reminder.

And of course to Lulu from Designed by Lulu, thank you for sharing this out

in blogland and I am happy to share your talent here!!

:: michelle ::

Movie Night {Mom's Pick}

2012-07-24T20:13:00.001-07:00

Right before school ended I created a little summery bucket list,

E added some items, and it is literally chicken scratch on a piece of paper.

Nothing like the beautiful ones on Pinterest.

It serves it's purpose though and doesn't make me stressed about not finishing it all.

One of the things E wanted to know was one of my favorite movies.

We added a mom's movie night pick to our list and

last night we watched...

:: The Pursuit of Happyness ::

Surely this isn't the first time I have mentioned it? {smile}

That quote just gets me, protect your dreams...go get it.

There are a few scenes that aren't really great for a seven year old,

like the bra scene at the beginning, but I know the movie and

can easily distract E during those parts, so no problem.

We talked through it a lot, good thing we were watching at home.

Discussed some of the heavier things, homelessness, tough breaks,

hippies stealing bone density scanners

{okay just threw that one in to see if you were paying attention}.

I asked E what he thought it was all about and he said,

"Even when you have really bad luck, you keep trying and don't give up."

Amen.

Yes, the message is bigger and more layered than that, but a great initial understanding.

Especially for his age, it was perfect.

I especially love the scene where he loses his shoe after being hit by a car and still goes back to work, talk about commitment. People do desperate, people do amazing when life is on the line. When trying to make a better life for your child.

Or when he breaks down in church just hugging his child
after being short and angry {understandably so} earlier,
remembering, this is why I am doing all of this.

The heart of this movie and real life story reminds me of

another quote I love, surely it's been posted here before

by Mr. Shel Silverstein.

There are so many great quotes about this subject matter, but why I love the movie,

why I believe in it is because it shows how.

I know I talk to E a lot, Matt and I both do to encourage, to be brave, to persevere, and we will with all of our boys, but you also have to do it, and see real life examples of it.

I think it is a great tool to combat entitlement.

We have worked for everything, yet we want our children to have it better

without taking away what will make them resilient, strong, and hard working.

Dream it and Do it.

And just as art imitates life, my life has to imitate this movie.

It was like the opportunity to set an example fell from the sky today.

Waking the boys up to usher them downstairs during a major storm at 5:30am.

Two hours later, the puking begins.

And it just kept going like that, all day.

But that's just it, it was just a day and it would be over,

and well it nearly is and tomorrow, well anything can be.

I am going to protect that dream.

Good Night Friends,

:: michelle ::

Lucky Seven Chalk Art

2012-07-23T18:03:00.001-07:00

When I saw Dana Tanamichi's chalk art for the very first time, I just fell in love,
I thought it was so beautiful and the typography was stunning.
I always say I was born in the wrong era, and her work embodies another
time, and well did I say it is stunning?

I have been waiting for the perfect occasion to make some of my own.
Then we started planning Ethan's Lucky Seven Family Game Night...perfect!!

Let me start by saying I am no Dana Tanamichi. At all. She is incredible.
However, one similarity may be the time constraints we work under.

After getting all of the supplies, Matt creating the board, {we use inexpensive plywood with a smooth surfaced thin sheet of MDF on top, it takes chalk paint lovely}, painting, letting it dry, I had one night from the boys' bedtime to party morning to create a
the whole theme for E's party. Nothing like last minute right?!

Well I had been fighting a nasty nasty virus and while thankful no one else was sick it kind of threw my plans out the window, but sometimes too much time makes it harder,
too much time to overthink. So once his balloon surprise was ready for the next morning,
I got to work.

To know how she pulls off those amazing creations, I read this insightful interview to find a supply list...cheap dollar store chalk, rags, fabric tape measure, and I added hairspray,
good ol' aquanet as the party was outdoors and I had no idea what the conditions would be.
I didn't want to be a sobbing rain-soaked mama mid-party spitting out phrases like,
"all that hard work just washed away"... before E would grab me by the shoulders and say, "get a grip mom!"

So after setting up shop on our kitchen table, I got to work. I really had no time to think about how I wanted it to look, so I just had some of her photos around me. Then I tried to cover the {already cleaned for the party} kitchen floor with as much chalk
and hairspray as possible.

After I completed the top section I got a little bleary-eyed.
I blame it on the aqua net, not the hour of night.
I started thinking about teasing my non-existent bangs
and measuring them with the flexible ruler tape.

Really I was hoping E would love it because I am not sure
a chalk art family game night beats an epic air bounce-a-thon,
but I am so thankful for his faith in me to try!

He requested 3 games to play,
Angry Birds, Minute to Win It and Hole in the Wall
so I wanted those represented on the bottom half.

I admit it, I just wanted to draw the angry bird guy.

Here it is, in all of it's chalk dusted glory!!

My handsome and sweet birthday boy E.

And this one just rocks...you say it's my birthday!!

Worth every bit of inhaled aqua net infused chalk dust.

Thanks E for thinking mom could actually pull this one off.
I know I don't have many of these party planning chances left,
my big seven year old, so I loved making this one count for you.

More to come on the Lucky Seven party, and think about
a massive chalk art piece to make a statement at your next party!
Just give yourself a little more time than I did!

Until soon,
:: michelle ::

Linking up to some of these lovely parties. Stop by and see their awesomeness!

A New Tradition: Birthday Morning Balloons {& More} Surprise!

2012-07-22T23:09:00.002-07:00

What could be more fun than waking up to a room full of balloons on your birthday?!

Well a room full of balloons and some very special touches!

Several weeks before Ethan's Lucky Seven birthday {I will be sharing more on his family game night party soon}, I pinned this idea as inspiration for a birthday morning surprise.

I love finding new birthday traditions and creating that one

this is so cool! factor, you know the one they will remember!

The part of the day that underlines, this day is all YOU!

First I had several photos printed from E's first seven years of life.

OK yes, then I did sit with these photos and remember each of the moments,

which led to a how did we get here so fast? discussion with Matt at about 1am..ahh...

So. many. great. memories.

When I chose the photos I made sure to include one photo from each of his past birthdays.

I had the balloons blown up in a variety of colors that scream birthday surprise!

There were also balloons to represent each year from 1 to 7,

to these I attached that year's birthday picture.

I still wanted to add something more.

Recently, E attended a friend's party and we got him a few seven dollar giftcards

to fun summer favorites and he mentioned how much he liked the idea, so...

I added giftcards from us and one of his Grandma's to the balloons

as well, seven dollars to seven of his faves...and maybe a few more not pictured {smile}.

After attaching the gift cards and photos, I summoned all of the possible quiet I could muster

trying to bring the balloons into E's room while he slept.

I even turned the light on to get a photo.

Brave. I know. {grin}

Thank God for a heavy sleeper!

SURPRISE!!!!

He LOVED it!

So did the brothers, thankfully they won't remember so I can do it again times four...

awesome!

Apparently the balloons also came with a lil' brother attached.

Amazingly, E can focus in the midst of the craziness swirling around him.

He is going to have a career that requires some amazing level of concentration.

Just sitting there happily opening his cards.

My not-so-little can't-believe-he's-seven year old,

cuter than cute, bedhead and all.

Seriously, who wouldn't want to wake up to a room full of floating happiness?!!

It was a beautiful memorable morning!!

More to come on the Lucky Seventh Birthday!!

Surprise someone today!!

:: michelle ::

Sharing at some of these awesome parties.

7 Ways to Help BOYS Focus and Grow Their Attention Span

2012-07-18T21:07:00.002-07:00

As mom to five wonder boys full of limitless energy, enthusiasm, curiosity, just plain goofiness and amazingly strong-wills, it can be hard to get them to SIT STILL and FOCUS.

Individually, not all at the same time, then I would know the world's end was upon us.

{big smile}

No, it does happen regularly, all kidding aside and it takes work and commitment.

I am sure your home is much like ours {maybe minus the quadruplets part} where the full volume craziness ebbs and flows. I find myself distracted often and in hyper multi-tasking mode myself, so I can understand the level of skill it takes my boys to focus in on something and complete it.

I was a little spoiled with my oldest, he is an intuitive learner, he had and has an awesome attention span. It was kind of the perfect situation...my understanding him really well {because I am the same way} and of course much more was his brains' ability to fill in the gaps and grasp more difficult concepts. We also had uninterrupted time and I chose to delay a lot of what I needed to do until he was asleep, that's no longer the case.

While I know I just typed those words I seriously no longer know what they mean!

Now I have FOUR two-and-three-quarter year olds {who no longer regularly nap} and I am being more purposeful and intentional in increasing their attention spans as our day has increased. While part of it comes from being a multiple, having 24/7 playdates with 3 other kids the exact same age as you lends to a lot of disruption and distraction {in this context, it is a very cool thing too}, I simply can't let that be an excuse. More than anything it is a matter of consistency and effort.

I digressed here intentionally as I know and have heard from many moms, my hand is raised high in the air here, who felt they had more time, energy, focus, attention, fill-in-the-blank for their first child. It can be done for the rest of your crew though although I have found it takes more intention and planning. I also know that boys {like girls} come in a wide variety, I have a couple who are more apt to sit and focus, a couple somewhere in between, and one who will either be a stuntman or an Olympic gymnast and is going from sunrise to sunset.

Today instead of once again thinking my crew would run around like wild things and never for the love of all things good sit still ever, I decided to focus in myself on the things I know that work. The tried and true.

The most important thing I can give is my uninterrupted time, which is nearly impossible, but not impossible. Inevitably when I sit down with one, someone else is fighting, injured, or decides to lock himself in the bathroom, but seeing it through is important, even if for 20 minutes total. As my husband says, "to get the omelet you may have to break a few eggs..." or a few dozen here, but the boys may be best occupied by something messy or involved to clean up in order for me to work with one. Here's the thing, it may seem counterproductive, but I promise it isn't.

Increasing attention span too is something that gives back over time if you will. Your time will lessen in a myriad of ways as their attention spans grow.

{one}

Start with what they love.

The interest will be greater with things they enjoy so if it's legos, imaginary play, books, or drawing, start there. Over time it needs to become more diverse and even include things they aren't overjoyed about, but initially they will spend more time with something that really interests them. Involve them in making the decision on what to do.

{two}

Play games.

I subscribe to kids learning through play. Memory. Go Fish. Cranium's Cariboo. I SPY. Look and Seek Books. Things that make them sit, take turns {with you}, learn patience, and have fun at the same time. Positive interactions with a quiet activity. The skill to play games has translated in my home to a skill to sit and read independently, build complex lego sets, work through puzzles and solo games, and more. While it is interactive at first all of the mini skills to complete a game increase focus and attention.

{three}

Don't wait.

As with all things learning, I do not think you need to wait to introduce anything to your child, as long as it is done in a fun and encouraging way. They may surprise you with what they are capable of doing or ready for. There is no set magical age when they sit down and a ready to "work on" their attention span, in fact it happens best organically taken in little steps over time. Sitting through a full story is worked on by listening to a couple pages at first {and I'm talking board books here} and then a couple more and so on.

{four}

Use technology to your advantage.

Our boys have been exposed to educational movies and television and iPAD apps that we have researched and deem appropriate for their age and content. I actually do not think it is a bad thing to be able to sit through a movie or a show given other criteria {see #6 and #7 below}. I believe in moderation and showing my kids how to use things that could be negative for the positive. That is just us and of course you will do what you believe. My point on technology would be to be in control of it's usage and enable it to help your goals.
Not allowing kids to switch between apps constantly or shows, or sit for extended periods of time, etc. I know and have had the same fears that then whatever comes next to hold their attention needs to be that interesting, but I have not really seen that if used in moderation and if the other topics are presented in an exciting and creative manner.

{five}

Seize their best time of day and set expectations.

As you know don't do it when they are hungry, sick, or tired. Initially I would pick a time in the morning and in the afternoon and start there. It's also reasonable and necessary to set expectations. We are going to do this now....Let's finish this up.....We will move onto x when y is done, etc. Always with praise and encouragement and in their most comfortable environment. I find that key, seek out a place they will respond best and consistently work there if possible. Yet don't limit yourself to that spot if you have opportunities while on the go, etc.

{six}

Balance with plenty of physical activity and adventures.

I'll age myself, but we were told to get the wiggles out before sitting down during elementary school. Boys HAVE TO play outdoors, play rough and tumble, play hard. Now I have two that don't really do that per se or maybe because I have others that really go for it {smile}, but they still love the outdoors and love new adventures. If you have a morning at home have an afternoon out, and let them know {back to #5}, we are going to do this now, but then we will head out to our favorite park. Knowing that will make a world of difference.

{seven}

Delay instant gratification.
As my oldest gets older this is a big one. I don't have to tell you so much is flying at our boys to make them happy right now. It's not good and it's not just technology. It's working through something and being a little uncomfortable while doing it or having to come back to it before figuring it out. I was at a conference recently and the speaker explained that it is in the moments of achieving something on your own that REAL self-esteem is built. I know that sometimes boys especially won't try something like sitting through or sitting down to do something new because they don't think they can.

Under this sentiment too is I know I can work on myself, just BEING. It is summed up nicely here...

“Boys need to learn the value of spiritual solitude. For the soul to grow, it needs those moments of no-stimulation, of wakeful peace. Because we adults don't usually practice enough solitude—because we are always 'doing' things—we often neglect to teach our boys to find solitude”
― Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys

Finally, the most important piece to me is recognizing who your child is, embracing their boyhood, and not wishing anything inherent about them to be different.
Yes boys will be boys and they are awesome.

{DISCLAIMER: We know from research and well the fact that I am a girl, that girls and boys learn differently, develop at different paces, etc. so while these could also apply to girls, they were written in the context of boys. Feel free to apply them in the context you see fit! In addition, I recognize there are REAL reasons for boys and girls diagnosed with REAL issues that do not package things up this simply and there are many great resources to help that I am not qualified to speak on, I'll leave that to the experts!.}

I hope this helps you as much as it did me to write it!!!

{michelle}

After the Storm {in our corner of the world}

2012-07-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

Sharing a piece of my heart here, so please feel free to wait for the next

post sure to be about something boys, crafts, silliness, or silly boys making crafts {smile}.

I am liking being here again.

Hearing from you. Thank you.

Truth is the little blogging break I took had a lot to do

with the after storm of Liam's heart diagnosis.
I did not recognize it being that at first.

When these big things come screaming out of the sky

I just cannot see life the same as the day before.

It's different.

It has forever changed and there is a new normal to adapt to.

Everything else keeps moving, keeps doing, keeps going unaffected.

I have a hard time thinking of blogging about a new pillow I have just made

or wanting to continue on with things I have started.

In that time and space it just seems trivial and silly.

And really I am not making any pillows

or doing much else than putting one foot in front of the other anyhow.

Thing is sometimes I don't want to leave that space,

not because I enjoy being morbid or sad.

Really it has more to do with the fact that in those

moments you see life in its purest, raw form.

Removing the extraneous, stripping things down to the essentials,

it's not freeing, but it is eye opening.

Living in a space where all of it matters.

If you have been with me a bit here you've known

we have been in that place before.

And it is in that space you survive and cling to one another

and let the storm swell around you and feel the God-given calm and clarity.

{via}

Sometimes you don't even recognize it,

the beautiful part of the awfulness until it's behind you.

Once I get beyond that I then just want to absorb myself

completely and utterly in my boys, Matt, our life.
The six who live inside my heart.

I simply just don't care about anything else.

I don't mean that literally, just that I cannot even think beyond it.

I am also easily irritated by all of the trivial in this world,

and no I am not above it, just able to see it for what it is in that moment.

And then while sitting at the poignantly beautiful luminaria ceremony during Relay for Life, Coldplay's words echoing, my heart is full of joy and gratitude for my son who has survived six years now. Yet the tears flow freely for the little one on my lap, my sweet Liam, because
I want to fix him and I can't.

{via}

Music plays a huge role for me in moving on and getting it out.

I hear Mercy Me's Hurt and the Healer for the first time, and I lose it again.

{via}

And I feel the Lord there with me.

My hurt has most definitely collided with The Healer.

{via}

I still needed more time, and truly am just finding my footing to blog again.

I am torn between how amazing I know I could make Our Wonder*filled Life. It is hard for me not to go the 110%, but then I think of the sacrifice and I am just not ready to go there. For now, it will be what it is and I still think it's a beautiful thing.

My sugarbaby Liam is peacefully sleeping after a before bed swim

at Tia Irene and Tio Greg's home.

The boys had a beautiful night, we did too.

They were looking for all of the stars in the sky, pure magic.

Sweet dreams friends,

:: michelle ::

The Toddler Ten

2012-07-14T23:29:00.002-07:00

Trying a little something new and switching things up a bit.

Usually you will find me blogging after we have done a project.

Instead I thought I would share 10 activities I am planning for

the little {and big} crew this week and a supply list {at the end}

of all common inexpensive items, many you have at home already.

Sound good?

As always we will put our own little twist and spin on things so I will share

the outcomes too, not for every activity, but just some updates.

I would love to hear from you...how you made this activities work for your crew.

Of course any activities we dream up, well I will share those after as usual.

{All activities are sourced below the photos, recipes included there.}

These are all easy to try and guaranteed fun.

Many are great for preschoolers and older children too,

as they can be adapted with different questions, levels of difficulty, etc.

Ready? So here we go, The Toddler Ten for this week...

: airplane simulation :

If all goes as planned, we will be heading on a plane in a couple months with the boys

and just the two {of us} parental units. We hope this will help when the actual day arrives!

This one can be moved outdoors too along with real airplane spotting.

{no time for flash cards : foyer airplane}

: bookworm club :

Incredibly clever concept and fun way to continue summer reading lists.

This one is great for older children too of course.

{simple as that : encouraging summer reading}

: salt dough olympic medals :

These will be so fun to make and easy, salt, flour, glitter, paint and embellishments.

{the imagination tree}

: puffy paint :

Simple recipe and great for outdoors too.

{get your mess on!}

: fruit pizzas :

Made by generations all across America {because who else could get away with

marshmallow fluff in a recipe for pizza?},

a great summertime food to make with the little ones.

{Pioneer Woman's Deep Dish Fruit Pizza}

We also plan to try and make a "healthier" version. I came

across this great recipe from Weelicious using honey as the sweetener instead.

{Weelicious : Sugar Cookie Pizzas}

: peanut butter & banana sushi :

I ate loads of peanut butter and banana as a kid and this presentation

is super cute, you could also use nutella or a tortilla instead,

but my boys will probably like this version best.

{Rachel Ray}

: water balloon target practice :

Exactly as it sounds, awesome idea.

{motherhood on a dime}

: firefly jar :

We have tried to catch one firefly this summer to no avail.

This is a cute alternative with no explanation needed the following morning.

I love pairing any firefly capturing with Eric Carle's The Very Lonely Firefly.

{come together kids : glow in the dark firefly jar}

: noodle fun :

This summer has been all about balloons and making up games,

this one will be a hit for sure.

{parents.com : camp mom}

: lava lamps :

While little ones will not understand the science behind it,

they will think it's really cool and that sparks curiosity in science.

{Steve Spangler Science : Bubbling Lava Lamp}

This one from Little Luna {love her site!} has a fantastic picture

and great instructions.

{Little Luna : DIY Lava Lamp}

{supply list}

crafts:

cardstock {for bookclub printables}

construction paper

markers

ribbon

glitter

paints to make gold, silver, bronze colors

number stamp or magnetic/wooden numbers

plastic squeeze bottles

black sharpie

glow paint + brush

food:

gummy worms

salt

flour

water

food coloring

wheat bread

bananas

peanut butter

sugar cookie dough

cream cheese

honey

marshmallow fluff

assorted fruit

vegetable oil

around the house:

backpacks

chairs

filled water balloons

sidewalk chalk

empty jars

laundry baskets

balloons

pool noodles

flashlight

alka seltzer tablets

sturdy empty water bottles

water

So, what do you think? Will you be trying any of these activities this week?

If you do, I'd love to know!

:: michelle ::

InstaLIFE :: Just Add Water + Sand + Sun

2012-07-13T23:34:00.002-07:00

beach life is exhausting {liam} : twilight swim : buzz + liam :

tractor spying : carousel riding {griffin}

mega water play : the bees knees : water lovers : crazy strong {beck} :

birthday wish {liam}

brothers : little fish {griffin} : to the rescue, most awesome mall shopping carts ever :

my new book

summer sweets : new toy : family breakfast : more bees knees :

cake batter ice cream goodness

fourth of july beach day : sand lovers : E's gag gift : silly beck : sink envy

first movie : little big fish : repeat {oops!} : on top of the world : letter practice {griffin}

This is what life has looked like the past few weeks for us,

full on summer mode and loving it!

It has been a summer of firsts, many for me, out solo with the boys, crazy right?!

For the past two weeks Ethan has been at camp filling his mornings with science experiments, improv {very cool}, and ancient Egypt.

Today ended the series with a little performance from the LOL Club.

Genius idea, kids create their own skits, shop at the Rubber Chicken store for props, really cute. Even more I am proud of E for pushing himself out of his comfort zone.

I hit up the dollar store for some great gag gifts as a treat for him, who can resist the good ol' whoopie cushion, spilled ketchup, and chatter teeth? Not one in this bunch.

His science teacher pulled me aside and told me what an amazing young man I have on my hands, super respectful, sharp, curious, eager to participate. If you know me by now you know I tend to beat myself by not doing enough and of course that is another conversation for another time, so it is always that I am humbly thankful for words like these and of course so proud of Ethan.

Oh yes, back to our two weeks...

The first couple days were tricky to navigate the crowded parking lot with four little men

following their big bro in for drop off and back out again for pick up.

Three hours of time in new surroundings to keep the little guys occupied.

An adventure for sure, one in which I learned I could take my boys

to the Children's Museum solo {and meet up with two amazing quad moms and their loves},

in fact I took them to a water park alone too.

We're still alive to tell our tales.

We have been brave.

I am really proud of my guys, all five.

While I can't say I will miss getting us all out the door bright and early,

prepped and ready to go, we have bonded a lot, they are enjoying hanging together,

and I have to say they listen better most of the time when it's just me.

That being said, we love having friends and family along,

it's just good to feel "normal" doing things on my own with my boys too.

It's time.

What has been insanely great to witness among the little boys is the fighting from the backseat...nah...it has been awesome to see their concern for each other.

The protection, the looking out for, the helping one another up after a fall.

You know the saying, they fight like wild animals among their little posse,

but heaven help anyone who wants to take on one with the get three more free deal.

OK, so I took some liberty with that wording!

You can follow us on Instagram here {until I get a fancy sparkly new button}.

Happy weekend!

{michelle}

Saying Grace.

2012-07-11T21:51:00.003-07:00

Last night around the dinner table Matt was working late, so

we searched You Tube for all of the roller coaster rides in Walt Disney World

and screamed our way through dinner.

Great for digestion. Highly recommend {smile}.

Before though there was this adorable moment.

We said our usual grace before meals,

bless us O Lord and these thy gifts...

After, I said what I was thankful for then went around the table.

Here's what they said...

Aiden :: the beach

Liam :: outside

Ethan :: my family

Beckham :: my family too

Griffin :: crickets

No, not actual crickets, but silence {grin}.

Griffin . . . GRIFFIN!

Hey, it's ok to be thankful for yourself.

Especially when you are super cute, cuddly, and extra sweet.

Lots more to share, until soon.

:: michelle ::

Perfection.

2012-07-11T21:04:00.001-07:00

I have Francesca Batistelli in part to thank for a moment driving tonight with Ethan.

We were on our way to spend some of his birthday giftcards.

Sometimes the best, most memorable, loveliest things are said in the confines of our car.

And sometimes of course not so much.

In her song Free To Be Me she sings "and perfection is my enemy."

I didn't think E was really listening to the song until...

:: E to me ::

"Mom perfection is an enemy because no one can be perfect.

Even the most nicest, most kindest, most smartest person

cannot be perfect. Only God is perfect. We shouldn't want to be perfect."

Those words, so unexpected, so matter of fact, and actually quite perfect.

A great reminder to this reformeding perfectionist.

Ahh, to understand this at the ripe old age of seven.

{via}

Sweet dreams friends,

:: michelle ::

Lucky Seven.

2012-06-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Sweet E,

I remember the day we met face-to-face like it were right here and now.

The day you did not want to leave your warm and cozy home.

The moment we heard the word "boy."

The awe when we looked at your big chunky tan body, bright light eyes,

and the tufts and tufts of blondish wavy hair.

Where did this surfer dude come from?

Had I not actually done the pushing that culminated in seeing

you, our little miracle, I may have wondered.

You stole my heart.

You gave me a life changed forever.

You made me a mom.

The amount of love was and is just insane,

a crazy do absolutely anything for you, unconditional love.

While we were a family before and we loved our life together,

we now really felt like a family the day we held you.

You captivated us and we did things for you we never thought we would do.

Never thought we were capable of doing.

It's the same seven years later.

You have a heart of gold and incredible curiosity and love for life.

You can be intense and want things fair and just.

You are bright and confident.

You feel and love deeply.

You are beautiful, unique, and just perfect the way God made you.

Ethan Matthew, my sweet first born, keep radiating, keep loving, keep living,

guard your spirit for life fiercely. God has given you this beautiful gift.

While it's bittersweet to see you grow older, it is really cool

sharing jokes with you, talking about what you enjoy,

and seeing the amazing little man you are becoming.

All that you now are capable of.

The fun that you have just being you.

Keep rockin' E.
Like you have from the beginning.

Enjoy this most amazing day about you.

You so deserve it.

We love you so.

Happy {Lucky Seventh} Birthday.

It's going to be an incredible year!!!

xoxoxox

Mama

Fab Find: Fancy That Design House

2012-06-10T11:24:00.002-07:00

I am smitten with the beautiful typography designs Stephanie from Fancy That Design House has created. When I found her shop, I was thrilled to see the typography that is so lovely joined with the words I want to display in my home. It was also so great her Fruit of the Spirit print just happened to come in yellow and gray, our living room colors.

And she is a midwestern gal, a nice little bonus {smile}.

My print arrived in such pretty packaging. I love when those little details are given time and effort, it makes such an impact.

I added my lovely new print to the entry way table, just the right spot and

a place we all walk past frequently, a great reminder in those biblical words.

All of the prints in Stephanie's shop are truly works of art, I

had trouble picking just a few to highlight, so pop on over and

take a look for yourself. You will be inspired!

Here is the one I chose in black and white, gorgeous right?

{Fruit of the Spirit : B&W Typography}

Another I have on my list, beautiful!

{Pray More Worry Less : Burlap Texture}

And this would be perfect for Father's Day, wouldn't it?

{I Need You : Typography Print}

You'll be seeing more of Stephanie's beautiful work here

as a sponsor in my sidebar.

Thank you Stephanie! You have some serious talent my friend!

Enjoy this beautiful day!

{michelle}

B&W Planters

2012-06-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we were earth movers with dirt under our fingers and toes.

We tore into our overgrown front yard landscaping and spent the days

trimming, weeding, planting, watering, sweating, and teaching

little boys how to stay away from the dangerous street.

I have to find the picture I took with all of the boys out front,

serious disaster zone, but they were so happy to dig, look for worms,

move rocks, and all seven of us just started to move in a rhythm

to make our corner of the world a little prettier.

Being under the sun, hands in the dirt, it is truly a

good form of soul therapy and renewal.

One of the projects I finished up...hurrah!...was my black and white planters.

The one on the left is chalkboard paint, which I love using on planters

because of the versatility and the finish looks great on the terracotta pots.

On the right, I just spray painted a large pot white as in the pictures below,

taped off the stripes {on a curve, tricky and don't bring a measuring tape here ok?}

and then sprayed on the black. They hold my Mother's Day boxwoods so nicely.

I love boxwoods and am glad they now have a home.

{paint first color/base}

{tape off stripes and add second color}

We also picked out succulents for the front urns.

I hope I can keep these alive.

The boys liked planting our hens and chicks

and added some rocks to the scene.

I'm really loving it too.

Even more that it was a family effort.

Head on over to these lovely parties I'll be linking up to.

Happy Friday!!

{michelle}

Little Braveheart {continued}

2012-05-31T22:15:00.004-07:00

It's time to update, to put out there the words that knocked the wind out of us on Tuesday.

Coming to write this post I had titled it from Friday, Liam's Miracle Heart, but with that day having been so exhausting for us I just hadn't finished it. In a way I am glad because now, his heart is even more of a miracle. Liam is a miracle.

I don't think there is really anywhere else to start than from the beginning...

When Liam was about 2 months adjusted {so around his actual birthdate} we followed up on a heart murmur that one of the NICU nurses mentioned to me, and I brought up with our pediatrician. We looked into it and they found a significant anomaly with his heart. It was unrelated to the murmur, yet we never would have found it without that clue. We were rushed down to Children's Memorial without returning home. Literally Liam and I were off to the hospital and at the time we had 3 more preemies at home. It was tough.

We stayed a few days to check out Liam's heart.

They wanted to do invasive testing. Liam was not even 7lbs. yet.

{Remember he was born at 2.9 lbs}

In the meantime we heard of an amazing cardiologist at Rush, where Liam was born. We felt comfortable there, it had been our second home for awhile. We sought his opinion.

His decision was to wait until Liam was older and we could do a CT on a 20lb.+ toddler as opposed to an angiogram on a preemie that was not yet the size of an average newborn.

We chose to wait and walk in faith.

That was two years ago.

On Friday Liam had his CT, did an amazing job, I was there when they put him to sleep and then we met with Liam's doctor. All along we knew that Liam had a single coronary artery, instead of two. The greater concern was that this single path could not course through/between any other major arteries. As Liam grows, those arteries will get bigger and can squeeze that pathway, leading to sudden death.

Heavy stuff to hear about your sweet, little, mighty miracle.

During our meeting Friday those fears were put to rest about 99%, we had a celebratory Memorial Day weekend. Then Tuesday while driving Liam and Beckham to the pediatrician, I got a call from Liam's cardiologist. At their final review, they found that Liam's single path does indeed course between the aorta and right ventricle. The nightmare was reality. We were blindsided. It's not the first time it has happened to hear devastating news about one of our children, and somehow it all just floods back.

Yesterday I was sad, hurt, angry.

{please allow this tangent that follows from my heart,
it is by no means meant to be preachy, just helpful and hopeful}

Please give your friends and family that space. It means the world to allow them that time to feel what they need to feel. Realize they may not get past it right away or in the time you think is appropriate. Don't be uncomfortable by it, don't run. More importantly, realize that it is not a measure of their faith at all, it is a natural reaction to gut-wrenching news, and the best thing you can do is respect those feelings. Just be there and hold them in prayer.

If you listen closely you will find that all dialogue...all of the tears, cries out, all of it, is aimed above, the faith at that time is more certain than ever.

We've gone through a few of these times enough to know you can't move

forward if you don't deal with all of that first.

And of course it isn't all gone in a day, it will take awhile.

Thankfully we are surrounded by people who understand that,

and we are so incredibly grateful for their support.

So here is where we have landed.

What we do know from all of this is that knowledge is power. Usually this condition is found on an autopsy as the cause of sudden death during the teen years. There are no documented cases in medical journals of someone having died before ten, yet somehow that is not as reassuring as it should be.

Matt and I have a lot to review as life continues as normal for our boys.

We have many discussions and decisions ahead of us.

We would love and appreciate your prayers for our guidance.

We have to hold onto this, our mantra and what we will do.

What we know more than anything is that Liam deserves our great faith.

Our Liam Jack has fought from 5 weeks in utero and will continue to have incredible strength for God has his hands on him.

We know that having this information can mean the difference between

being able to do something for Liam or something horrible and unexpected happening.

We understand the weight of it and can't express enough gratitude for that,

now it is knowing what to do with it.

Liam will need surgery on his heart, most likely once he is around 8 years old.

Routine checks and tests from now until then.

We are sad that this is the beginning and not the end as we thought Friday.

It will be a huge walk in faith over the next few years.

Here are a couple other posts on Liam's heart...

Meeting of Minds on Liam

Little Braveheart

We will update as we can.

Thank you for all of your prayers whispered into God's ear for

our little mighty miracle son.

What really matters is that when I just asked Liam routinely yesterday how he was, he replied, "I'm happy mama." Perfect sweet boy.

Until soon,

Michelle

The Bond

2012-05-23T10:35:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was a tough one, Matt was working late, the boys were cranky pies because

of allergies, sickness, I'm not quite sure yet, but they had a rough day and so did mama.

We ate pizza outside and strawberries and I was okay with a dinner they loved.

We read some stories outside {one of our favorite summer activities},

and I gave them some time to run around before baths.

That time turned into the most magical precious time.

They used their immense imaginations and played continuously, all five, for at least a half hour.

It really was the first time {for all five} there was a stretch of peace...
that was not a direct result of the iPAD or movie...
no injuries or fighting, no screaming or crying, just pure happiness.

I am thrilled for once I took some video of the moment,

and well it was the first treasured memory of our summer.

Off they ran around the backyard turning things into airports and taxicabs,

visiting soccer stadiums and catching a parrot in Brazil,

traveling to Disneyworld and watching fireworks,

seriously with big-brother leading the way, they ran and ran

and played. Everyone contributed something to their ideas

and conversations.

Ethan said this is the first time I have been able to get all of my brothers and

me to have FUN at the same time.

It's true. He has waited a long time for them to all be able to play along with him.

My heart seriously let go of the day's struggles, guilt, and ugly parts.

I felt like the Grinch turning into the Glenda the Good Witch {smile}.

God, I love my boys.

Today Liam, forgetting Ethan was at school, started looking for him to play again.

Soon, Li-Li-Boo, soon, you'll have all summer together.

I know it won't always be rainbows, popsicles and unicorns,

but last night it was and it rocked!!

Don't you just love those little rays of sunshine,

those moments of bliss that make it all worthwhile
and everything comes together?

Thanking God for knowing, I needed that right then and there.

{michelle}

Five things that can hurt a child's heart.

2012-05-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

{update: Since I wrote this last night, I wanted to add that this is in no way to induce guilt. I am talking about significant, repetitive cases here, where people do not realize they are affecting their child, not the fleeting moments of frustration that we work hard to avoid and correct. No one is perfect and I am surely not one to judge.
The purpose of writing this was to raise awareness. }

I want to start with the disclaimer that I am not a professional therapist,

but I have learned a lot {and am still learning} from the life I had growing up.

I am not going to revisit it here, but suffice it to say, I have dealt with

some heavier things as a child.

Experience can teach you oh so very much.

I know sometimes here, in my space, I talk about things with passion and fire.

Especially when it comes to being a mom and how we can impact our children.

I feel like there is this pervasive nonchalant, tinged highly with sarcasm, talk about motherhood lately. I get it, I am not sitting on my high horse above it.

We tend to resort to it when we are

exhausted, tired, and even at times I think people do it because hey,

that's what the cool kids are doing.

Yet, there is always a gnawing pit in my stomach...

I hope they are just kidding.

For the record, I think most are, and I do have a massive sense of humor,

but sometimes things just aren't funny once you've seen the other side.

Children are resilient to an extent, but we have the power to do damage.

Even moms and dads with the best intentions possible, myself totally included,

can hurt their child's heart immensely.

Here are five things that can really damage a child's sense of self and security.

Calling a child negative names. About a year ago, and not solely for this reason but it was a contributing factor, I had to end a friendship because a friend could not stop talking negatively about her son. The last straw was when she called him a bum because he did not want to play a sport she enrolled him in. While saying it with a touch of humor, I could tell she really meant it, and those words just kept echoing through my head.
What if he heard that and does he?

Wishing your child was different at their core. This is a tough one because when you have a child that isn't like you or is different than you imagined...where did they come from?....it can be hard sometimes to relate to them. Struggling with that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about wanting them to be different, intrinsically different from who they are and who God created them to be. It's so important to stop and think, what message am I sending if I am telling my child who they are is not good enough for me?

Choosing a favorite. I have read in more than one place lately that it's natural to have a favorite child and it's not really a big deal...really? Let me tell you how it feels to not be the favorite child...completely and utterly horrible. I have been there and when you are a little soul, you do not understand that it has absolutely nothing to do with you. You think if I just try hard enough I'll win them over, which creates a people-pleasing child who loses sense of who they are. In your own mind, you may love that one of your children is super cuddly or that one listens and wants to help, and those feelings are totally normal. The issues lies in that really can never be the basis for how much love you show or give.

While I do think it's completely normal for siblings to tease one another about being the favorite, that's really all it should be, unfounded lighthearted teasing.

Basing the love you give your child on what they do for you. Wow I hope I can come back to this and read it God-willing in about twenty-five years. I have seen so many relationships with children my age and their parents deteriorate {including mine and my husband's} exactly for this reason. Showing love, care, concern, for the child who does for you {in one specific way}....one child may be closer in proximity, more financially able, whatever the case may be. It's tough to type this one because it doesn't matter how old you are, you are still the parent and you have to love your child unconditionally. I realize I speak prematurely, before my children have made bad choices and decisions with lasting consequences. My prayers are for these occasions even now, BUT I hope I can always remember I am the parent. What if my heavenly Father only loved me for what I did for him?

Letting your child believe they are responsible for your happiness. No child should have this weight on their shoulders. When our children were born did we finally realize how much love our hearts could hold? Yes. Do they makes us laugh and beam with pride, of course. Do we owe them to not hang our happiness on them...absolutely. I remember trying to get my father to laugh and if I could then he would be happy at it would be a good day. That was my goal. I would put everything into it. That is so not a childhood. Yes, kids need to see emotions and some of the real aspects of life, but they also need to see us happy, enjoying life, and completely feel like they are the biggest part of our happiness, but not responsible for it, there is a big difference.

These may seem like really obvious things, but I have dealt with each one and let me tell you, it sucks. As a mom of five, I want to do everything in my power to not ever have my children feel this way. It can take a long time to heal.

I'll be back soon with a less intense topic {smile}.

Thanks for listening friends!

{michelle}