Our (welsh) man in Africa...

4 years down and counting

2011-11-18T10:23:00.000+02:00

There’s something up with the internet.I just logged on to the admin page of my blog and to my HORROR discovered that the 68 posts I’d submitted since April 4th (genuinely my finest work) have all inexplicably disappeared, and to compound the tragedy my backup files are all corrupt. Still, I hope you all enjoyed the many highs and lows I wrote about in such fine fashion.Oh the misery.As you know

Am I just being stupid…

2011-04-04T16:09:00.002+02:00

For those of you who have read several of my posts it will come as no great surprise that I have a somewhat cynical view of anything to do with customer service. You can also probably figure out that the fact that I’ve had to deal with two lots of customer servants in one day has not led to a particularly vintage Monday. Exhibit A: Home Affairs Ahh…good old government departments, you’ve got to

Rad(ish)

2011-03-23T16:14:00.001+02:00

What is it with many Capetonians of a surfing bent that requires them to use the word “Radical” to describe pretty much anything in the world?Something “radical” could be defined as far reaching or pervasive so I’m not entirely sure how surf can be described as “radical”.Here are some examples of “Radical” conversations I’ve had over the last few days.“On the drive up to Elandsbaai we hit 40

Back with a whimper

2011-03-16T19:23:00.002+02:00

So there I was quietly minding my own business and getting on with life. The folk singing footwear dreams had stopped (mostly), my blood pressure was down and I had even managed a three hour stretch without moaning about something pointless or being sarcastic (bear in mind that I don’t usually manage that while sleeping so this is real progress).So there I was quietly minding my own business and

Is there anybody....out there?

2011-03-10T16:41:00.002+02:00

After generously giving you all peace and quiet for nearly twelve months I need to confirm you are all still alive and well. I get worried you know.Who knows, if I get a response I might just start posting nonsense on a regular basis again.Just one of you.Anyone.Hello?

Like a bridge over troubled water

2010-03-12T10:30:00.000+02:00

Last night I dreamed that I had a new shoe that looked like Art Garfunkel.I can’t decide if this was due to slightly overdosing on sinus tablets or if it’s some sympathy pregnancy symptom kind of thing, but regardless, I dreamed about a shoe that looked like Art Garfunkel.Most people would find that weird.Most people would also wake up at that point or dream about something else, but instead I

You May Onion

2010-03-10T12:04:00.002+02:00

This arrived in my post box the other day.Names have been changed to protect the innocent or somethingI’m not sure what it means but I really hope I get more of them so I can build some kind of vegetable calendar.I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s obvious that June Turnip and July Leek come next but some of the later months are unclear to me at this time.And don’t get me started on the “Tangy”

The miracle of birth

2010-03-10T11:01:00.001+02:00

As a veteran of two ante natal classes I thought this was an opportune moment to discuss the miracle and wonder of the birthing process with you all.However, before I get to the miracle part I should explain the set up for those of you poor unfortunates who have not yet attended such a class.After booking the class you arrive as a couple and meander for a while in the reception area, this is to

PRON is killing your marriage!!

2010-02-24T09:50:00.002+02:00

Bad PRON…BAD PRON!Citizens of South Africa beware! A new and dangerous threat to our morality is on the horizon and the end of the world is nearly upon us.Hear me PEOPLE of SOUTH AFRICA! This DANGER is REAL!Is it another presidential love child scandal? NO!Is it another million that Julius forgot he had? NO!Is it the killing of children for muti? Is it the revelation that yet another head of some

Found It

2010-01-25T10:29:00.001+02:00

Apparently there is a part of Sun City called “The Lost City”.In my opinion people just haven’t tried hard enough as it’s clearly just around the corner from the Vacation Club units and is reasonably signposted.If you get lost just give me a shout.Not much to report today – up at 3.30am to drive back from Sun City so am feeling somewhat lethargic. All in all Sun City was a bit of a disappointment

Beware the crazy exercise lady

2010-01-22T10:03:00.001+02:00

She’s killing her kids. And I hate her.This will make no sense to anyone outside SA (and not much to anyone in SA no doubt) but there’s a radio advert that’s been running for a while about the benefits of a home gym.It’s all to do with two women who want to exercise.Woman one – let’s call her “upstanding normal citizen” – goes to a gym like normal people but spends the advert getting stuck in

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

2010-01-22T10:02:00.000+02:00

It was always going to take something monumental to break the silence and thrust my protesting fingers back in the direction of a keyboard.Well, that something has finally arrived.And what pray tell is this smasher of silence, this annihilator of absence, this bludgeoner of blog-deserters I hear you cry?In fairness with that build up the reality is likely to be somewhat underwhelming, or for

Turf war

2009-11-09T12:10:00.001+02:00

Or “how I learned to embrace my lack of spatial awareness as a quirky personality trait”Yesterday (for those of a Gregorian bent) was Sunday the 8th November.For the benefit of the many Zoroastrians (of a Shenshai bent) who frequent my page I’m talking about the Govad of KhordadOr as I refer to it “Welcome to Choresville, Population: Me”Not satisfied with my recent bout of cupboard painting and

And on the 82nd day...

2009-11-09T10:31:00.004+02:00

…the afrowelshman arose from the slumber of self imposed exile and spoke forth on a matter of utmost importance. Well after that beginning this had better be good. But before I get to that I have to say a big thanks to my fellow mutant-basher Bill. Despite the ridiculous gap between postings he still found the time and energy to pass comment on his completion of Fallout 3 and not a single comment

Back from the future. Possibly.

2009-08-19T16:10:00.001+02:00

Before you start giving me abuse about how long it’s been since I’ve written anything and how I’ve not only let you down but more importantly that I’ve let myself down let me just state, for the record, as Jason King of the Argonauts is my witness, I’ve been quite busy.I’ll admit that part of being busy involved going away to the Drakensburg for five days, but like the rubber end of the pencil,

Everything is broken

2009-07-24T11:14:00.000+02:00

OK that’s a bold statement I admit, but trust me – it ain’t far off the mark.Let’s look at the facts.Anthracite heater – knackered along with the chimneyCooker – works intermittently with an occasional tendency to trip all powerFridge – does everything it should do. Except keep things cold.Automated garage doors – appear to have blown up for no reasonSecurity gates – work as and when they feel

Lynyrd Skynyrd said it best…

2009-07-22T12:11:00.004+02:00

…when they wrote the song “Tuesday’s Gone”. Assuming they didn’t write it on a Tuesday. Or play it at a Tuesday night gig in Alabama, presumably.Skynyrd. Wednesday. Rock.OK so I have no idea when they wrote it or why but for the purposes of this blog I’ll assume that it was to celebrate Wednesday and Wednesdayness in general.Which is what I’m going to do today, except unlike Lynyrd Skynyrd this

Choose your partner carefully…

2009-07-17T09:37:00.000+02:00

I learned a valuable life lesson last night. It was a lesson that stayed with me throughout the night and is still teaching me things this morning.The lesson is this. When you are invited to your regular monthly pool evening where the penalties for foul play are dodgy shots in assorted colours, do not under any circumstances get yourself partnered with the designated driver.By the end of the

...all from one magical animal...

2009-07-14T14:00:00.001+02:00

I haven’t really felt like writing for a little while. Last week ranks as a fat steaming turd on a scale of one to shit but a nice weekend and a reasonable start to the week has certainly helped get things back in perspective.I could spend pages and pages telling you about the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on. I could wax lyrical about the range and intensity of emotions I’ve felt in a pretty

Here’s an idea…

2009-07-03T09:28:00.000+02:00

…on how we can reduce traffic accidents in Johannesburg.It’s so obvious I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to figure it out.The solution?4 lights on the robots (traffic lights for all non SA folk).What I propose is this. Underneath the existing green light we install a second green light on every robot. The original green light will be timed to come on in sync with the red light in the

Danger! Danger! No Voltage!

2009-07-01T12:40:00.000+02:00

Yep, we’re out of power at home.At precisely 8.37pm (approximately) yesterday we were silently plunged into darkness. Never before have I so longed for the hearty thwack of the trip switch flipping, but no, it was not to be.It’s a very random power outage to be honest - only about six houses in the street have been affected (including our senior citizen neighbor who may well be ripping someone in

Anyone got a copy of Fly Fishing by J R Hartley...?

2009-06-29T13:18:00.001+02:00

In true Afrowelsh style I got sunburned yesterday.In the middle of winter.I’m just too cool.And how did I manage to achieve this I hear you cry? Fly fishing. That’s how.Yep, I had my first ever crack at fly fishing yesterday in Clarens and I can confirm that a slightly dodgy looking tan is indeed the only thing I managed to catch.It started promisingly enough. A good friend of mine who happens to

aaaahhhhCHOO! (kill me) ATCHOOO (kill me) CHOOkillmeCHOOkillmekillme

2009-06-25T11:43:00.001+02:00

After unprecedented demand for a new blog entry (one person asked) I’ve decided that today’s the day to start typing again.I’m not entirely sure why it’s taken so long and can offer no excuses.Lazy. That’s your trouble. Never off your arse.Fortunately for you lucky readers your only contact with me today is via text – because believe me, you do not want to see me in full video glory.Basically

Where did nine days go…?

2009-06-17T13:56:00.000+02:00

In true cricket fashion as soon as I reached the ton-up milestone I’ve taken my eyes off the ball and been done middle stump by Stuart Broad who I’d previously been flaying to all corners.For the benefit of my brother this means I was so excited by reaching 100 posts that I forgot to write for nine days.It’s not like I’ve done anything much either.OK there was the testicle-tightening,

Raising my bat

2009-06-08T15:14:00.001+02:00

This is my 100th blog post.You would think for such a special occasion I’d come up with something amazing or profound to write about.You would be wrong.Instead I’m going to simply moan about the latest completely bollocks phrase it has been my misfortune to listen to.There I was on Saturday, in the car minding my own business when some politically-hippically correct nutjob on the radio started