It's a New Day

Examples of naturally healthy eating, BE PREPARED

2010-04-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

Natural, Calm, Relaxed Discipline!

2010-04-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

I'm quickly learning that in order for being slim to be a permanent part of life, it has to be part of your way of thinking. Not an obsession, but a mindset. An acceptance that what is available to us is not, most of the time, what we should consume.

Health and true weight loss and permanent slimness depends on calm assurance of what we know is true: low fat, whole grain, smaller portions, fruits and vegetables, water, exercise. There can be a slight detour to partake of celebration, then a return to healthful eating to maintain health. But that detour has to be controlled and calm with awareness ad consciousness so as not to go overboard. I am aware that I can go overboard if I decide I don't want to enter that realm of health eating.

I can actually see that it's 2 different types of mindset that I waffle between, no accounting for what I eat, no thought as to healthy type of food or portions and very seldom exercise. And usually no motivation accompanies this mindset to be better than the very worst. It's like all or nothing. This is the all side.

The other mindset is the healthy side, the nothing side. But it can't be nothing, because it calls to mind punishment, deprivation, lack of fun, like I don't deserve to eat anything that I like. Did I say PUNISHMENT??

No, healthful eating is NOT punishment! There is not an elite group of lucky people out there who are allowed to eat whatever junk they want in huge portions and can still maintain their health. NO-ONE! The human body is not made that way, it's purely scientific. Our bodies cannot maintain health by eating wrong and not moving. We are capable of so much more than what we expect from ourselves.

Today's Smoothie

2010-04-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

Current Weight: 204

Chocolate Soymilk
Wheat Germ
Banana
Strawberry yogurt
Ice

Delicious! Girls loved it!

IMPORTANT DAY - NOT GOOD BUT SOOOO IMPORTANT!!!

2010-01-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

Ok, I must never forget this day. This is the day that my children (well child, Grace) realized that I looked "different" than other people. Different in the way our bodies look. Let me paint the picture:

Watching Nickjr, 4:20 pm, when a Fresh Beat Band song comes on. I am usually in the habit of dancing to their songs, I like the choreography. Gracie turns to me toward the end of the song and says "Mommy, you're thick". I look confused and say "what do you mean, Gracie". She says "those people, the Fresh Beat band are like this" and holds up her hands to signify "thin" (you know, almost like praying position). I say "you mean thin?" and she says "yeah, they're thin and you're thick. And I'm thin, and Fay is thin".

Of course, non of this is said in malice, she just said it matter of fact, with no emotion, just observation.

Now this doesn't sound like much on paper, but it is EXTREMELY significant in my world now. My daughter has finally noticed that I don't look like the other thin people that she sees everyday. She'll start to notice that I don't look like her teacher, or like the other moms. Then she'll start wondering why I don't look like them. It doesn't matter to her that I don't, but she'll wonder out of curiosity.

THIS IS WHERE IT MUST END. THE JIG IS UP. EVERYTHING THAT I DO FROM NOW ON IN REGARDS TO EATING IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE IF I WANT MY DAUGHTERS TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.

Thank goodness I have already started Weight Watchers again, I'm definitely considering going to the meetings, since they are so close. But my budget will have to determine if this is possible.

I want my children to feel proud of me, to see me feel good about myself and my body. This is life changing stuff here! Of utmost importance! Don't forget this day!!!!

Can I re-do my re-do?

2010-01-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

Current Weight: 214
Remember: 5% goal: 203 lbs.
Drink water.
Write down food I eat
Do whatever exercise I can - IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS! DO SOMETHING!

Due to the hecticness of life, I haven't been able to keep up with the program. I have started Weight Watchers again, and I want to keep not only this blog, but a video journal. I want something to fall back on when things get tough.

In looking back at my older posts (not that old, only 2 1/2 months), I find that they are very informative and very motivating! Journaling is definitely a very good idea, because I have such a terrible memory, reading old posts will remind me of the goals and ideas that I've come up with.

Eyes wide open, mouth tightly closed...

2009-10-14T18:22:00.001-07:00

Current Weight: 208

After much consideration and deliberation, I decided to follow the Weight Watchers flex plan with points. With all the meals I make for the kids and me and Mike, it is much easier to have the freedom to manuver through all kinds of foods. I automatically eat better foods because they have less points, and I am also tracking my fruits and veggies every day.

What opened my eyes this time, was the realization of how much I was actually eating. I am really trying to keep mindful of my hunger, but I really became aware when I started tracking my points this morning. I had eaten almost all my points (only 6 left for the day) by 1:00 pm! So I knew then that I would go over points, but I ate much less than I normally would have for the rest of the day.

So this has definitely put me back on track, back in control, and maybe later on I'll do Core plan, but right now, Flex is for me!

Do you know that there is a part of me that is afraid of having to watch what I eat. I actually feel anxious about it. I guess I don't like the feeling of depriving myself, even though it's not deprivation. It's living like a naturally slender person!!! AHA!

The Hunt for Brown October

2009-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

Brown as in CHOCOLATE!!

Current weight: 209

Ok, how will I get through October successfully, with more awareness of hunger and tons of self control come HALLOWEEN!!

First off, we are giving out pretzels, pencils and plastic bugs. No mini candy bars! I know that I just can't have that stuff in the house. A naturally slender person wouldn't tempt themselves with it, they would pick something that was healthy, and something that would not tempt.

Second, while visiting anyone that may have candy, I allot myself 2 mini candy bars and eat it when I am hungry, not unconsciously, while hiding or on the fly. I'll also ensure that I exercise that day.

It's cooler outside, so walks would be nice.

Core or Flex

2009-10-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

I've done Weight Watchers a few times before, and I've always done the Flex plan. But now I'm considering doing the Core plan, which focuses on healthier, more filling foods. It doesn't require tracking points, but it involves eating until I am satisfied, which follows right along with IOWL. Anything I do eat that's not on the Core food list, I have to track using points.

I do want to focus on my health now, it's important that I make that a priority this time, not just to lose weight. Take it day by day, getting as much health in every day as possible. I can't think about the amount that has to be lost.

I took my before pictures tonight with my computer camera. Ugh, it was tough, because I don't really want to see what I am right now, but I know I have to. I need to be focused on what needs to be done.

Busy, busy, busy...

2009-09-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

Current weight: 209.7

Things have amped up now that both kids have started school. There are always lots of meetings, greeting meetings, teas, and of course, the endless list of school supplies that are still pending. Where do I find contact paper??? So I intend to exercise every day that Grace is in school, at least. With those days, and 1 day of the weekend, I should be good to go. But I'm going to relax about it, not stress about it. As Renee says, let go. The letting go has more positive energy to it than obsessing about what I should be doing or what I shouldn't be doing.

I've been busy, so been forgetting some of the things to do in regards to hunger and re-do's. I'm going over my notes tomorrow to refresh my memory.

To binge or not to Binge

2009-09-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm in the middle of a binge right now. I'm thinking very clearly, but I'm hiding from the girls, because I don't want them to eat what I'm eating. And I WANT TO EAT! I don't want to stop myself right now. This time (4:00 to about 5:00) is usually a binge time, because I'm probably close to ready for dinner (which isn't cooked yet). I usually have lunch at about 1:00, but this time, I'm, of course, not full, so I start to eat.

This time is usually my first binge of the day, my 2nd binge is probably after the girls go to bed, which falls into the same hunger category, not full. This happens about 3 times a week I'd say.

What to do? Have dinner ready before I pick Sam up? Have a protein snack ready when I get home?

I think I definitely have to plan the day before what I'm going to eat, especially at these 2 times.

I'll weigh tomorrow, I was too tired this morning!

Self-Correcting Practice

2009-09-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

Today I did my first self correct. We had an apple pie for my mother in law's birthday, and I didn't have any to compensate for yesterday's stress eating. I was all set to have a piece when it occurred to me to skip it.

I also bought some celestial seasonings tension tamer tea at the store today. So when I'm feeling me blood pressure rising, I will turn on the water immediately.

Mini-goals

2009-09-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

Current Weight - 212.4

I've read and heard of other people making mini goals for themselves as they lose weight, it gives a feeling of accomplishment and motivates to keep going.

So here are my mini goals, basically to get to each pre-pregnancy weight:

1. 5% goal: 202
1. pre-Hope weight: 192
2. pre-Faith weight: 186
3. pre-Grace weight: 175
4. pre-Sam weight: 160
5. pre-wedding weight: 144

They look pretty doable when they're down in front of me. Now I still have to figure out how to manage my stress.

Episode IV - A New Cope

2009-09-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

Current Weight -?

I was a little disorganized this morning, and I wasn't able to weigh myself, but it proved to be a stressful, eating in response to stress, day.

So, I was very aware that I was in a fuzzy, stress haze, I could not detect my level of hunger at all. This was because my body was buzzing from yelling and being very upset. I was fully aware of my overeating, I just couldn't stop it. Plus I was waiting for myself to feel less full so I could eat again, mainly because I wasn't able to calm myself down. It wasn't the end of the day, I still had to take care of everyone and clean, and brush teeth, and whatever else.

So what do I do about this? It's definitely a do over, but what can I do during these times of pretty extreme stress? First off, I guess I have to keep calmer, I can't let myself lose it. Just take it in stride. I'm going to get out my journal now and come up with a plan of action for these times.

Now is the time.

Fiber...the body's Roto Rooter

2009-09-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

Current Weight: 211.3

Fiber...what the microwave brownie that I had tonight did not have. I was totally responding to the stress from this afternoon and evening. This is a total do over. Next time I will come up with something to do on the computer that I will look forward to. I will sit down, take a deep breath, and focus on just relaxing, not choosing food to help me relax.

So I was talking to Mike last week about fiber. He grew up with a very processed, white flour, tuna, pb&j, whole milk, soda diet. So now as we're getting older, I've been trying to get real bulk into both our diets. I've been choosing these things for a long time now, and I love fruit, but Mike still has a ways to go. He's super tempted by the things I mentioned above, so I don't bring them into the house. But he definitely is willing, so it shouldn't be to hard for him to add fiber. I told him that if he really didn't want to give up his favorite foods, then schedule a day to eat that stuff. Be a responsible overeater.

I think I'm going to try adding metamucil or psylium husk to our diet. I'm already adding benefiber to Sam's drinks already, since he eats a very low fiber diet. Can't have too much fiber, Mike was amazed when I explained what job fiber has in our body. It cleans out our colon area like drano. All the processed junk spackles itself to the walls of the colon, because it's just gunk after it's digested, liquidy, soft gunk. But the high fiber foods take longer to digest, and they leave more behind after they're digested, so they sort of scrape the walls of the colon when they are ready to become waste.

I can't stop this feeling anymore!

2009-09-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

Current Weight: 211.4

I'm becoming more accustomed to recognizing my hunger, and I guess by doing it over and over, I'm creating a habit. I do find, though, that later in the day (which are more hectic for me), is harder to be in tune with my hunger, and I'm reacting more to the growing stress. It doesn't have to be a high level of stress, just a tenseness because of the amount of stuff to get done. I have to become calmer during that time.

I have come up with things to do to de-stress, quick, little things.
-Read
-Listen to poscasts
-Watch a "grown-up" show
-Take a deep breath, count to 10
-Maybe dance to one of the kids' songs

These are things that I have to do in the house, I can't go for a walk, or go swimming or something. I do find I eat more during this time of about 3-5. Then I end up being full for dinner.

The answer to life, the universe and everything...

2009-09-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

It's 42.

No really,

I was discussing with Mike last night what my motivation for getting myself back to normal this last time. It's really strong feeling that I have, that it's my responsibility as a grown up and a mother to have a strong, healthy body. I don't want to be sick, I will not give that kind of burden to my children. I am responsible in so many other ways, but I don't think I ever thought of extra weight as being connected with responsibility. BUT IT IS! God blessed me not just with myself, but with my self.

I am starting to understand the answer to a happy, contented life. You have to go with what life hands you, not fight against it. It's a very simple concept, but very profound. We went through all the people that have come into our lives, and attributed this theory to their situation. And we found that those who were unhappy, always seeming to have year after year of misfortune without being able to get ahead, were so busy fighting against and bemoaning what life had given them instead of trying to learn from mistakes or misfortune and moving forward. There are some who live so much in the past that they are missing years and years of their present, and making a mess of it! I will not go on and on about getting older, on the contrary, I've earned my age! Of course, I wish I felt younger and, at times, looked younger, but I believe that how old you feel is a HUGE factor in how you age. For goodness sake, age is merely a tracking of time that started when we entered this world. It's really unimportant. What is important is what we do with this time.

I vow to go with the flow of life. God created us on the earth as part of a great balance. It makes sense. We should eat from the earth, of the earth as much as possible. Our diets have moved so far away from that way that we have come to depend on certain artificial foods like no calorie sweeteners, prepackaged lunches, prepackaged 100 calorie snacks (can anyone tell me why we can't put the right portion into ziplocs instead?).

I am calm during this time, and I am in control. It's actually a lot easier now, I don't feel like there's a part of me fighting against becoming healthy. All of me is going in the same direction. I am not perfect, of course! That's not what this is about, this is about feeling good and clean!

Note to self: Do the do-over every night. Keep a good check on that hunger level.

Sugar makes me go fuzzy...

2009-09-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Weight: 214.2

I really don't keep much sugary snacks in the house, maybe one at a time. Mainly because the girls can't stop thinking about it until it's gone. And of course, I end up eating a good bit of it too, no matter what it may be. I don't even keep cake mixes or brownies here anymore. They seriously send me into a tailspin.

When I went over to Mom's today, they had about 4 different kinds of cookies, and a refrigerator filled with waxed paper covered donuts. Of course, this amount of goodies would take them about 3 months to eat, and when I saw all this, I literally went all fuzzy, out of focus. I couldn't recognize my amount of hunger at all. It was really strange. I guess I wasn't hungry at all if I couldn't figure out how hungry I actually was. Makes sense. I ended up eating about 5 or 6 cookies over the course of 4 hours that we were there.

I would like to publicize my blog to others, but I haven't gotten the nerve yet. I am heavier now than I have ever been (non pregnant), and I'm not at the point where I want the people I know to know about it. I would much rather publicize it to the general public. I guess I think that others will see my being heavy as a failure, a connotation of laziness and irresponsibility. Yeah, laziness, tell that to my 4 kids who HATE to see me sit down!

2009-09-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

Weight: 213.4

After spending 3 days on a "mini-vacation", I didn't do much damage, and we did do a bunch of physical activity. Thank goodness for the hotel pool. I just love to swim, and it's a pleasure to be able to do so. Of course, I don't have a bathing suit, and I'm not sure why. I haven't had one since before I had Sam, so almost 7 years! Wow, I think it's time to get one, no matter what size it is. It really stinks to have to wear a tshirt and shorts into the pool, complete with bra and panties. I guess my size has varied so much since before my pregnancies, that I just never got around to getting one.

We're spending our last weekend of summer in as much relaxation as possible, since the mayham will begin next week. I'm hoping to get more exercise in now that Grace is in school full day 3 days a week. I did have a lot more to say, but I can't remember what they are. I kept thinking of things this week to write about, but one of those things should have been some post its.

Oh well, I'll post them as I remember them.

Keep on truckin...

BTW - I've made a chart for myself to track my weight daily. I have a theory about that, I'll discuss in another post. But it's very satisfying to see progress in chart form! It's a paper chart, not one on the computer, I like seeing it in front of me, seems more "real".

Note to self: Post about fiber.

My Virtual Weightloss

2009-08-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

Weight: 214.3

So I remembered www.myvirtualmodel.com again. It's been a long time, so I made a new model, and guess what? They've added a new feature, to create a before and after model for weight loss. I actually did this before the feature was added, I just created 2 different models, current weight and goal weight. Well, I guess enough people did this, so they decided to add it. You can even add your face to make it look more like you.

So I'm at 214.3 now. I'm following the podcast of Inside Out weight loss, and it's a very good one. It's logical, and get's down to the nuts and bolts of my behavior and tells me very clearly how to create better behavior. It's very straightforward, and doesn't leave anything unclear or subjective.

It's really working for me, especially when it comes to noticing my hunger. I've realized how I eat a good bit more after I've satisfied my hunger. And I am learning how to be calm and relax when it comes to my appetite. I usually get a feeling of panic when I get hungry, which it probably why I didn't let myself get that hungry. I am becoming aware of this panic feeling, and I'm learning to relax when I do feel it. It's just a feeling. I am not at the point of starvation, far from it!

A partial solution to the night eating

2009-08-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, tonight, right before I put the girls to bed, I grabbed a diet snapple. I was thirsty, so I drank a few gulps and sipped almost the whole bottle before coming out of their room. This filled me up, and I only had a small low fat cone for dessert, and I didn't want anything else because I was not hungry.

I know this sounds ridiculously simple and pretty obvious, but it is not a behavior that I normally have during the evening. My drinking usually tapers off by the time I'm getting the kids ready for bed.

I don't like to drink too much diet drinks, so I'll try water as well.

A challenge...

2009-08-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've honed the time of day which I usually binge to be at night after the girls go to bed (Sam's still awake) and before Mike get's home. It's a cross between a stress release and a reward for a long day. I have to come up with a behavior to trade the binging with.

I don't like ruining a good day's eating, especially since Grace and I made a great pasta dish tonight. Barilla pasta has a website and has a bunch of recipes that have a nice Italian flavor and are really pretty easy.

Here's the one we did tonight:

WHOLE GRAIN SPAGHETTI WITH CHERRY TOMATOES AND BASIL

http://www.trybarillawholegrain.com/Pages/RecipeDetails.aspx?RecipeID=1

It looks so good in the picture that I had to try it, and by golly, it was delicious. The girls ate a bunch of it! The only change I made was I switched Parmesan for Romano cheese.

I'm finding that cooking with Grace keeps her occupied; and being that she requires the highest maintenance of all my kids, this enables me to actually make dinner instead of tasking for her and the others.

All in all a pretty good day, but I want to improve on my night's eating.

Gently green

2009-08-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to find new ways to become more green in our household. We've already gone to energy efficient light bulbs, but there are other things that we are seriously considering.

One of them is a dual flush toilet. Now that the older 2 kids are finally toilet trained, it seems like the toilet is flushing all day long. With a dual flush, it will drastically reduce the water use. But it's not always easy finding dealers on SI who carry these products at this time. Maybe I'll have more luck with someone from Brooklyn.

Also, I'm interested in composting, as I want to start a vegetable garden next year. But I am really sensitive to smells, and a stand alone compost bin is a pretty messy and stinky job to turn and maintain. So I've been pricing compost tumblers. They're expensive, but I've found a site that shows how to make a compost tumbler out of a garbage can. Then I can freecycle the old compost bin.

http://thepleasuresofhomemaking.blogspot.com/2009/04/how-to-make-compost-tumbler-for-cheap.html

We'll see how this all pans out. Little by little, we trying to make the switch to a greener lifestyle, which also appeals to my frugal side, since all this is supposed to save you a lot of money as well.

The cloth diaper idea, though, proved to be much too much for me :-).

Oh, and I've been really paying attention to my hunger this week, when it starts and more importantly, when it ends during eating. I'm realizing that I eat a lot more than it takes to make me satisfied. That's a really good thing.

Beth

Krazy Glued to the Saddle...

2009-08-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Weight: 218

Ok, so I'm not only back in the saddle again, I am krazy glued to it. It's been a long time since my last podcast, and there are 2 new additions to the family.

My body definitely has some war wounds, and lots of stretch marks. So now that I am post pregnancy #4, I am at 218 lbs and I'm not losing anymore from having the baby. This weight is all mine :-).

I'm here again to stay motivated, stay inspired, and get a handle on my health. I now have 3 girls, and teaching them to have a healthy relationship with food is not only important, it is essential.

Just the other day, together my 4 year old and I made a whole wheat pizza with spinach, and they ate it! I made it a point to go on about how delicious it was going to be, and it worked.

So I'll begin by saying hi again to everybody, and as I go through the journey again, maybe I'll be interested in doing a podcast again, it was such fun!

Remember, every day is a new day to change your life. Make today that day!

Beth