Overheard in Chicago

Would you prefer a whole cow?

2008-07-22T14:37:00.002-05:00

Girl: "I'm hungry."

Guy: "Let's go get a burger."

Girl: "A burger? How is that going to help my hunger pains."

- 11th and Wabash

-- Submitted by Chris

I'm going to be in New York City until Sunday evening. No updates until then. If you're in Manhattan and want to hang, drop me a line. Don't forget to join the facebook group!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2008-07-22T14:34:00.002-05:00

Girl #1: "Have you read this?" (Holds up The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedman)

Girl #2: "No. Have you?"

Girl #1: "Nope. We're a disgrace to our gender."

Girl #2: "Yep. We should turn in our vaginas."

- Book Cellar in Lincoln Square

-- Submitted by Spinner

50 bucks says it's not broken.

2008-07-22T14:27:00.001-05:00

Guy #1: "I think I broke my arm, dude."

Guy #2: "Did you see a doctor?"

Guy #1: "Nah. I think I'll tough this one out."

- Burnham Skate Park

-- Submitted by LL

Someone had to pay for the shower.

2008-07-21T14:23:00.002-05:00

Woman: "It's a long story, but it involves me in a shower with two other people and ends with me stealing a wallet with $500 in it. I'll tell you some other time."

- Maggiano's

-- Submitted by Poppy

Really? Cuz Gina Carano is ridiculous hot.

2008-07-21T14:20:00.003-05:00

Man: (on cell) "Let's talk something serious. Let's talk something serious. Why you, like, strong? I don't like strong women."

- Morseland Parking Lot

-- Submitted by AC

Your wife is gonna be pissed.

2008-07-21T14:17:00.000-05:00

Guy: "I hope I get laid by someone new tonite."

- South Side Bar

-- Submitted by Kathy

Soccer? Uh....yeah.....

2008-07-18T14:30:00.002-05:00

Girl #1: "What is the ESPY? I've never heard of it before."

Guy: "It's an award show for athletes."

Girl #1: "Then why is David Beckham there?"

Girl #2: "Because he's married to Posh Spice."

- Prost, Lincoln Ave.

-- Submitted by Mandy D.

Eating at a free buffet?

2008-07-18T14:29:00.001-05:00

Guy: "Unless they have a free buffet, nothing tops what I'm going to be doing tomorrow."

- South Loop FFC

-- Submitted by Dave

SOMETIMES?!

2008-07-18T14:24:00.002-05:00

Older Guy: (on cell) "Having women around is important, but sometimes when they get older they start to lose it. You might want to watch out for that."

- Michigan Ave.

-- Submitted by James C.

Yes, Ma'am!

2008-07-17T12:19:00.002-05:00

Woman: (on cell) "When I tell you to look at my boobs, you don't argue! It's not that hard a concept!"

- Little Italy

-- Submitted by Trav

Someone get a calculator.

2008-07-17T12:18:00.000-05:00

Woman: "What's 65% of $100?"

- Macy's shoe department, State Street

-- Submitted by Incredulous Banker

Let's use our inside voices next time.

2008-07-17T12:14:00.003-05:00

Guy: (on cell) "Oh. OH! You're SORRY. Take your sorry and shove it. You're a passive aggressive, cheating, deluded asshole. You care about yourself and think the whole world is against you. Everything you do is geared to sabotage yourself into a worse life. (pause) So what if my wife is hot? (pause) No, you can't, now go to hell."

- Red Line

-- Submitted by Weeble

Or she hates swimming with you.

2008-07-16T12:19:00.001-05:00

Woman #1: "You want to go for a swim?"

Woman #2: "Not really."

Woman #1: "Why not?"

Woman #2: "Sharks. And Octopii."

Woman #1: "In the gym's pool?"

Woman #2: "Yes. They're everywhere."

- Chase

-- Submitted by Ricky

Seriously? Dunch?

2008-07-16T12:17:00.001-05:00

Woman: "When do you guys want to do lunch?"

Man: "I don't know. Saturday. We may have to dinner."

Woman: "Dinner is a bit late. How about we do, uh, dunch?"

- Metra, Union Pacific North

-- Submitted by Zed

It's more a winged rat.

2008-07-16T12:16:00.000-05:00

Mother: "Get away from that! It's not a bird; it's a pigeon!"

- Jackson and State

-- Submitted by J

If you can't hold your liquor, at least know what it is.

2008-07-15T12:23:00.003-05:00

Female: "Hey! BARTENDER!"

(Bartender walks over)

Female: "What is Jack Daniels? Isn't it vodka?"

Bartender: "...WHAT?!"

Female: "Jack Daniels is brandy?"

Bartender: "Nope."

Male: "It's whiskey."

Female: "Oh. Thanks."

Male: "Some drunk you are!"

- Carol's Pub

-- Submitted by Spinner

Nice even coats.

2008-07-15T12:21:00.001-05:00

Woman #1: "Have you thought about spray tanning?"

Woman #2: "Yeah, but isn't that harmful for the environment?"

Woman #1: "Probably."

Woman #2: "I'd rather they just use a brush or a roller or something."

- LA Fitness, West Loop

-- Submitted by Kelly

At least it was polite about stealing your cash.

2008-07-15T12:18:00.001-05:00

Old Woman: (talking to parking garage paystation.) "Hello? You took my money and I don't have any change. Hello?"

Machine: "Thank you."

- Millenium Park Parking Garage

-- Submitted by Erin

You, Mr. Magellan, are a sinking ship.

2008-07-14T16:12:00.002-05:00

Girl: "Yeah. I live in Roger's Park."

Guy: "Oh. Is that by Roscoe Village?"

Girl: "No, not really. I live on Lakewood Ave."

Guy: "Oh, yeah! Doesn't that intersect with something."

Girl: "Uhm. Yeah. It does."

- Sheffield and Armitage

-- Submitted by Apeface

Boonce. Boonce.

2008-07-14T16:10:00.003-05:00

Guy: "So did you find your soda pops?"

Stoned Guy: "Yeahhhhh. Did you find your bundt cake?"

- Northerly Island

-- Submitted by Laura

Good comeback bro.

2008-07-14T16:08:00.001-05:00

Guy: "So you think because you know Olympians, you're better than me? They probably aren't even gold medalists!"

- Wrigley Field

-- Submitted by Waddie

Which creates quite a loop.

2008-07-10T12:24:00.002-05:00

Girl #1: "He makes me uncomfortable."

Girl #2: "Great. That means you're going to sleep with him."

- Accenture

-- Submitted by Hector

Politicians do it all the time.

2008-07-10T12:21:00.002-05:00

Girl: (on cell) "You should definitely wear a tie. Because you'll look like you know what you're doing. But you don't! So lie. How hard is that?"

- Blue Line

-- Submitted by Rhea

Isn't that all guys, really?

2008-07-10T12:19:00.002-05:00

Guy #1: "Which one is Charlie?"

Guy #2: "The guy who's walking like he's a caveman."

Guy #1: "There's 50 dude's around here. How am I supposed to pick him out?"

Guy #2: "Because he's all caveman-like."

- Pompei restaurant, UIC

-- Submitted by Tran

Probably.

2008-07-09T14:48:00.004-05:00

Woman: "Hey! Jew Boo!"

Man: "Are you using that as a pet name or are you saying Jews are scary?"

Woman: "Uhm. Scary."

Man: "So you fear Jesus?"

- South Loop

-- Submitted by Giyna