Overheard in Detroit

Gotta draw the line somewhere

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 18:31:00 +0000

Gardener's wife: I didn't know that trimmin' trees and shit counted as landscaping.

Gardener: I just do what I'm told. I just do what I'm told.

Gardener's wife: Not all the time.

Gardener: Not when it comes to yer fuckin' bitchin'!

Suburbs
Overheard by a neighbor

Quit playing with your food and listen to it

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:29:00 +0000

Female diner to other female diner: Lasagna had to translate for three hours!

Little Tree Sushi Bar, Royal Oak
Overheard by Pedestrian

Apparently the People Mover is good for something

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 18:31:00 +0000

Thin angry teen: You need to find out where she is so you can fight her.

Thick angry teen: Oh, I know where she is ... I KNOW where she is! She's at the Ren Center!
(to guy next to her:) Yo, what stop is this?

Guy: Broadway.

Thick angry teen: I'm gonna call her. Wait, is this her?
(into cellphone:) Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

train stops at Broadway, starts up, announcement of next stop is made

Thick angry teen (to guy): Yo, what stop is next?

Guy: Um, Grand Circus?

Thick angry teen (into phone): Hello? Hello? Hello?

train stops at Grand Circus

Thick angry teen (into phone): Hello?! Hello?! Hello?!

guy walks off train, angry teens continue to RenCen

Detroit People Mover
Overheard by Cz

Validating blond jokes

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 13:27:00 +0000

Patton Oswalt: Where do you live?

Blond bag of bones: Dearborn!

Patton Oswalt: Where's that?

Blond bag of bones: Downriver!

Audience: No it's not!!!

Patton Oswalt: Apparently Dearborn's not downriver?

Blond bag of bones: I've lived here my whole life. I think I'd know.

City Theatre, Detroit
Overheard by DNN

Holey shirt, Batman!

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 13:19:00 +0000

Holey Shirt Guy from the 9th floor (to girl stranger): We're watching the game! We can see it from the apartment!

Girl: Oh... cool.

Friend of Holey Shirt Guy from the 9th floor: And I made some delicious treats!

Holey Shirt Guy from the 9th floor: I'm glad to see you haven't lost your touch!

Kales Building elevator
Overheard by Cz

Name Dropping Gone Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 12:41:00 +0000

Three alterna-dorks in the elevator ... stops to let two girls on.

Skinny alterna-dork (after long silence): So, what's Rob Lowe been up to?

Alterna-dork in blue: Well ... he's making some made for TV movies.

Bearded alterna-dork: Yeah, he left West Wing because he wasn't making enough money.

Doors open on the first floor and they get out. Girls collapse laughing.

Kales Building
Overheard by Cz

Got no game

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 00:37:00 +0000

Date: Shouldn't we wait to cross?

Dork trying to impress Date: There's no jaaaay walking in Michigan! You can't get a ticket for jaaaaaay walking in Michigan! This ain't Chicaaaaaaah-GO!

Passerby: You're going to get a ticket for jaywalking.

Dork trying to impress Date: Charge it to the game ... charge it to the game...

9 Mile and Woodward
Overheard by judgemental dick

Kind of defeats the purpose

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 14:49:00 +0000

Worker 1: Is today the 9th?

Worker 2: I don't know, but there's a calendar right next to you.

Worker 1: Yeah, I know, but I don't know the date.

Used bookstore
Overheard by Frank Stain

Keep it down, tubsy

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 04:58:00 +0000

Coworker who didn't think anyone was listening: I'd love to have liposuction. I mean, not have it, just the effects ... I'd like to do something -- I have nothing else to do.

At work at a certain world-spanning corporation
Overheard by Perhaps Read A Book?

Sadly, no...

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 03:39:00 +0000

Zach Galifianakis: You ain't got not pancake mix!

St. Andrew's Hall
Overheard by Virgil Cane

She didn't ask!

noreply@blogger.com (overheardindetroit) — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 23:57:00 +0000

surly male customer: what do we have here?

girl at the counter: it's our margherita pizza

surly male customer: i hope there's no tequila in it! i haven't had a drop of hard liquor in four years. it killed too many of my buddies. they're six feet under, and i'm six feet above.

girl at the counter: ...

Trader Joe's, Woodward, Royal Oak
Overheard by Frugal Shopper