Overheard Sailing...

Practice makes perfect

Captain — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:15:15 +0000

Double-handing a 6m Waarschip monohull on the southern side of the Isle of Wight, with me in the cabin, a downdraught off the cliffs laid us flat for about 30 seconds with the mast touching the water.

After our trusty little boat righted herself, now approx. 600 kgs heavier due to water in-take through the cockpit sides, my crew and helmsman at the time just said:
“Whooo, that was interesting, can we do it again?”

Where: On board
Who: multihullsailor6

Doh, that leeway always gets me!

Captain — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:43:10 +0000

Commodore at the prizegiving after a 75 miles regatta:
“And the prize for the Best Navigator goes to Charles Thompson of “Sundowner” - pause accented by polite clapping - “who attempted to cross the finishing line at 2300hrs about 1 mile south of where the race information indicated it to be!” - Thunderous clapping and cheering!

Who: multihullsailor6
Where: Prizegiving at Mykonos Yacht Club, Langebaan, South Africa

Ahooooooy! She gonna blow!

Captain — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:07:35 +0000

Moscow yacht manager calls the crew at 21:00 (first time on the boat):
Manager: how are you there?
Crew: - fantastic! Sailing, swimming nonstop and so on!
Manager:- are you in marina?
Crew:- no, we are at anchor! Our skipper wanted to go to marina, but we preferred to be at anchor!
Manager:- can i talk to the skip?
Crew:- no, he said he expected bora of 40knots, took a dinghy and left the boat to see some friends…

Who: Parus
Where: Moscow Kornati islands(croatia)

If only she had a VHF too…

Captain — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 10:00:05 +0000

Man #1: I hear you joined a sailing club?
Man #2: Yeah, you should join up too
Man #1: Why? I don’t like sailing
Man #2: Me neither, I get sea sick, I joined for the social aspects, it means I don’t have to socialise with my wife at the weekend and it’s more fun than golf.

Who: Bonza
Where: Perth Y.C., Australia

And this, my friend, is how we discovered the NW passage…

Captain — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:18:48 +0000

On delivery to Ireland for Cork week (F5/6 gusting 8 ):

Skipper: What course are you doing Peter?
Owner: 020 degrees
Skipper: The course is 320 Peter!
Owner: I know, but this is more comfortable.
Skipper: @&*£:$

Who: Russ
Where: Ireland

‘Cause I know, how I feeeel about you now. (c) SugaBabes

Captain — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:28:24 +0000

Man #1: Is this varnish supposed to come out that colour?
Man #2: Yah, similar thing happened to a girlfriend of mine once. She was not impressed either.

Who: MizzenShortOfAKetch
Where: Brighton marina boatyard, UK

How very very dare you!

Captain — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:00:24 +0000

Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din

Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew

It follows my wife’s spending pattern.

Captain — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:07:18 +0000

Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.

Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum

I love it when a plan comes together

Captain — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 19:02:23 +0000

Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered

Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip

Honest mate, not me… We can still get him though! Come on!

Captain — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 06:21:34 +0000

Next to a complete wreck of a brand new boat:

Charter Manager, rather miserably: Well, apart from this, did you enjoy your weekend?
Skipper, rather neurotically: It was not my fault!

Where: Cowes
Who: Racing gets you in the end