Arnel’s story sounds like a once in million deal, but it’s happened before. In 1996, the band Judas Priest replaced their lead singer with a singer from a cover band and that inspired the 2001 film Rockstar which has a similar premise. The first lesson in all of this is that everyone can be replaced no matter how good they are or how irreplaceable they think they are – if you’re part of a good team, there’s always someone out there that’s willing to work as hard as it takes for your spot.

But the bigger lesson is that you need to be out there where people can find you for good things to happen to you. In the case of singing, if all you do is sing karaoke at a local bar or a friend’s place, you won’t get discovered. Even Susan Boyle who has been singing at her church for decades had to physically go to the auditions for Britain’s Got Talent.

You can increase your odds by filming your performance and posting it to Youtube and/or the social media sites. But these days, everyone is doing that and unless you catch the eye of the right person (who can spread the word about it) you’ll find yourself competing with the masses for everyone’s attention.

The same holds true for businesses, especially small ones. You need to get out there to promote your business so people know about you. Also, if you’re looking for work you can’t expect employers in this job market to come out and seek you. People are being extra cautious with their spending money in for both personal and businesses uses so it’s tougher to get it.

This doesn’t mean that you have to go out there and attend every business networking event in a 50 mile radius. But you need to get the word out to your target customers that you exist and that you can help them. And yes, you can do that from the comfort of your own home by blogging, using social media and posting videos on Youtube. But the key in both in person and online promotion is standing out from the pack. And only you can figure out how to do that with your situation – no $49.99 e-book will provide the secret no matter what they promise.

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You Can’t Win by Sitting in the Crowd

Although most people in the US will spend today at barbeques and possibly check out parades and fireworks, it’s a great time to take a look at your life and think about freedom. Do you appreciate the freedom that you do have? Do you lack some of the freedom you desire? In addition to tyrannical governments, there are other things out there that can eat away at our freedom. A bad employer or boss from hell can certainly make you feel like a prisoner. As can an unhealthy relationship whether it be a spouse, significant other or family member. Even certain friendships can rob you of freedom.

Of course the biggest culprit could be something internal. Being extremely overweight or having an addiction can certainly take a lot of your freedom away. A bad habit, poor attitude or negative outlook on life can also rob you of freedom. And of course, fear can rob you freedom and prevent you from being the person you want to be. So why not get a five month jump on your New Year’s resolution and use today to decide to deal with whatever is robbing you of freedom.

Now, for all my reader’s in the United States, I have two special videos I’d like to share. First, a great song that captures the things I love about America from Rodney Atkins:

Second, my favorite patriotic song performed by Lee Greenwood:

Enjoy and have a happy and safe July 4th.

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Happy Independence Day

In addition to publishing my own e-zine, I also subscribe to a number of others in the topics that interest me. In the last month or so, I’ve seen people use these idiotic and condescending phrases in their e-zines. First, people were using it in reference to Susan Boyle’s rise to stardom. Now people are using it to describe the news regarding the recent deaths of celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett.

Not everyone pays attention to pop culture news (or even current events) so you shouldn’t ever assume that because you think something’s a big story, that others are aware of it. I spent most of Christmas weekend in 2004 bouncing back between two hospitals so I didn’t hear about the big tsunami that hit Indonesia until a couple days after it happened. Yet someone asked me if I lived under a rock – then felt dumb when I said that I didn’t notice the news because I had three family members in two hospitals.

It’s tempting to use these types of phrases because some people think they sound cool. But in business situations, they’re not appropriate as you’re insulting your audience. One of my trainers pointed out a blog post about Susan Boyle that used this phrasing and said to me “well I must be living in a cave because I have no clue who she is.”

A better alternative is to start off with “in case you’re not familiar with…” and then explain the person or situation in a sentence or two. So in the case of Michael Jackson, you could say “in case you’re not familiar with him, he was one of the most popular singers during the 70’s, 80’s & 90’s.” It sounds better than “unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know who Michael Jackson is.”

Think before you speak (or write) – it’ll save you from looking foolish.

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Do You Live Under a Rock or in a Cave?

Where it works:

It works best in situations where failing isn’t really failing – it’s merely not succeeding such as in sales (or dating). In these situations one failure doesn’t prevent other successes. If you typically close one in every five pitches or so, then statistically speaking, you’ll close more by failing more because you’ll be pitching more. When I was looking for work back in 2003, I remember estimating that I’d definitely get an offer if I went on 50 interviews so I started lining up the interviews (and fortunately, it didn’t take me 50 to get my first offer).

It also works in situations where you’re trying to solve a problem especially with the trial and error technique. As you rule out solutions that don’t work, you get closer to the one that does – such as the infamous story of Thomas Edison failing 9999 times before successfully inventing the light bulb.

Where it doesn’t work:

If you’re in a situation where a failure can prevent future successes, this technique won’t work for you. For example, I teach classes and coach people. If I took the approach of trying to help everyone who is willing to hire me – even if I’m not qualified to help them – figuring that for every two where things don’t work out, I’ll really succeed with another, it would be a disaster. When you’re hired to do a job and you don’t perform well, then you have an angry customer. And we all know that angry customers talk about their experiences more than happy customers.

So if I tried to help someone in an area that I know little about and didn’t succeed, it would reflect poorly on me. I’ve very careful about who I coach and which classes I offer for this reason. I’m often asked to create special custom courses for organizations that have an area they want to improve. If it’s an area that I’m knowledgeable in then I’ll work with them. If it’s something I know very little about, I’ll say so and recommend someone else. I’d rather create a long term relationship with them versus making a quick buck.

The one thing to keep in mind too is that too many failures can have a bad effect on some people. Some of the greatest successes have been due to persistence and perseverance. But if that’s something you’re comfortable with, it can get you down, steal your momentum, make you depressed and has even resulted in suicide in some folks.

So perhaps these words of wisdom should be rephrased: to double your success rate, double your actions. Or, perhaps learning from your failures will help you have more successes.

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Does it Really Make Sense to Double Your Failure Rate?

My first memories of Michael Jackson were back in 1984 when Thriller was at its peak. Kids in my class (girls and boys) had the red jackets and the gloves and my fourth grade teacher gave us a lesson on fads. Again, I wasn’t a fan of his music but loved the guitar solo in “Beat it” – and that was even before I knew that Eddie Van Halen performed it. Jackson later performed in one of my all time favorites “We are the World” and experimented with lot of different styles – one of my favorites being “Dirty Diana” (can you tell I love guitar?).

Even more impressive is the fact that Michael Jackson’s popularity helped launched the career of a talented unknown kid who’d call into the Doctor Demento show with song parodies. “Eat it” (a parody of “Beat it”) launched the long and successful career of Weird Al Yankovic (one of my favorites). I could go on and on about Michael’s accomplishments as a performer, but most of that is common knowledge or easily found on Wikipedia.

What I found most impressive is how dozens of companies used Michael’s music to promote their products. Again, he has a real talent when it comes to connecting with his fans – when they hear his music, they feel good. So naturally, companies paid millions of dollars to use his music to get his fans to associate that good feeling to their products. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all could perform in a manner that makes people feel good? If you speak to groups, this is your ultimate goal.

All speakers want to connect with their audiences but many fail to do so. Just like dozens fail each year on national TV in shows like American Idol (and countless others fail getting to that point), so do many presenters. Michael Jackson was successful because he was talented, worked hard and tried new things. He had his share of flops, but he always managed to bounce back. He had planned yet another farewell performance that was to begin the day after he passed away. If he were to live another 20 or 30 years, I’m sure he’d be making the news with both stumbles and successes throughout that period.

As a tribute to Michael Jackson, I’d like to share two videos that I recently came across on Youtube. One of my favorite places to vacation is Walt Disney World in Florida and a few years back, Michael Jackson was featured in one of their attractions – a 3-D film called Captain EO. Here is the film in it’s entirety (minus the 3-D):

Part 1:

Part 2:

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Lessons from Michael Jackson

Before “John & Kate Plus Eight” Kate worked a couple shifts a week as nurse. John, in my opinion, did a great job handling the kids on his own given that he also held down a full time job. They were crammed in a small house, their financial future was uncertain and both parents were overtired and over-stressed.

Then came the outpouring of help from caring people and eventually the reality series. No one can blame John & Kate for taking the offer to do the show – it made practical and financial sense at the time. But somewhere down the road, they fell victim to their own success.

I watched the show regularly during its first season – I was interested in their story as I know a lot of families with twins and high order multiples. I found it amazing how well organized this family was – the house was clean, the kids were on schedule and Kate did her darndest to ensure that the family ate healthy (often organic) foods. But even back then, it was clear to the viewer that the couple was plagued by the same vices that affected other reality TV couples – even though the couple themselves may not have realized it.

Kate was portrayed as being too assertive and harsh on her husband. John was portrayed as a guy that simply gave up because no matter what he did, he couldn’t please his wife. I stopped watching the show after this first season as I lost interest in the “show” part of it but did occasionally pick up an article here and there about this remarkable family. I hoped John and Kate had a chance due to their strong religious beliefs and commitment to each other and their family. But then they became household names – millions of people watched them from week to week.

The stress of a newborn is often enough to challenge the commitment of the two parents to each other. In some cases, one or both of the parents get jealous of the attention the baby receives from their partner. When you factor in twins or triplets, things begin to get overwhelming and financial pressure kicks in. With a singleton baby, the cost of day care is reasonable enough that both parents can return to work and still live a lifestyle similar to what they’re been used to. When you factor in twins or more, the cost of daycare can easily offset one parent’s earnings. Even if one parent had planned all along to stay home, bringing more than one baby home from the hospital at time is still a challenge.

Each additional baby adds a degree of complexity to the situation. Most multiples are born early which can come with its own set of challenges. With twins, you can use a “man to man defense” to feed and comfort the babies but you’ll often need double the equipment. With triplets, you’re outnumbered and someone is always pulling double duty. Plus, most vehicles outside of minivans and large SUVs are unable to safely fit three car seats (forget it if you already have other children). When you get to quads, it’s possible that you could run out of living space given the room needed for four cribs, high chairs, etc…. Plus, the cost of food, diapers, formula and clothing can approach a small fortune.

So even without the fame from a popular TV show, John and Kate had a number of challenges ahead of them. In part two of this, I’ll talk about the effects of fame and how it can be like winning the lottery – at first it seems likes a good thing but if you’re not careful, it can be the worst thing to happen to you.

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Why John and Kate Split

Mumbling is caused by a number of things such as trying to talk too fast, not opening your mouth all the way when you speaking, blocking your mouth, not speaking loud enough, or having a dry or sore mouth. Unless there is something physically wrong with your mouth, the key to dealing with mumbling is practice. Just like people can control their stuttering with practice, a little effort and awareness goes a long way with mumbling. Here are two easy ways to deal with mumbling.

Read out loud:

If you have young children that you can read to then this gives you double the benefit because reading to kids helps them learn. Children’s books are especially great to start off with as many are purposely written to help kids work on particular sounds. So if you find yourself struggling with a lisp or certain letter combinations, you’re local children’s librarian can probably recommend a number of books (and you can say it’s for your child).

If you find certain words to give you more trouble than others, then keep working at them. You should see a noticeable improvement after three to five readings, depending on your situation. The great thing about practicing reading is that you can do it in the privacy of your own home without anyone else around. If you’re giving a speech, you can practice reading your speech out loud so you can identify and work on those problem areas.

Practice in conversation:

This is a little riskier than reading out loud because other people are involved but that can also be a benefit if you’ve enlisted them to help you. Start with casual conversations and pay attention to how you sound. If you catch yourself mumbling, then stop yourself, say “excuse me” and repeat what you mumbled more clearly.

Friends will be especially helpful with this as they can tell you if they notice an improvement. In business or professional conversations, try speaking slowly and carefully enunciate your words. If you feel your mouth getting dry or tired, try excusing yourself to get a sip of water (if appropriate) or pause for a moment to deal with your mouth.

Like any minor issue, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to deal with mumbling but it does require that you take the time to address it. Once you start working on it, you’ll notice an improvement in no time.

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Quick Tip: How to Stop Mumbling