if you would rather read my podcast here it is. im not sure it translates on the page all the time. pls sub the podcast wherever you do your podcast business. heres the podcast now. see ya -chris

ive had this cough for a few days. i was just sick and i never get sick. so i was sick and i had a cold and i thought, oh, when this is over, then i wont be sick again for like a few years. and thats not what happened. its like when i got food poisoning and then three months later got food poisoning again. the first time was at a nice restaurant in new orleans. patrick stewart was eating there. so i figured, its alright, but i got a bad oyster. then a few months later, im at a midtown mcdonalds somewhere between penn station and times square. its late at night. I was going through a lot at the moment so im eating mcdonalds by myself. and then next day it was a horror show. and i was out for like a few days. havent had food poisoning since. or mcdonalds. i dont think ive had mcdonalds since. then i had fast food after that. you have to have fast food sometimes. i mean you dont have to. you absolutely dont have to, and you shouldnt. but then, you kinda have to.

im putting the transcripts of these shows on my substack now, and i feel like maybe its not a good idea, because the inflection, really, you need to hear that. so listen to the podcast and then read it and then print it up and pass the transcript out to strangers on the street. like a manifesto. like youre just trying to spread the good word. not a manifesto. dont call it a manifesto. people get in trouble over manifestos. i dont think anybodys had a manifesto that was well received. and i also dont know a lot of things, so there probably is one that i dont know about. but it sounds like a good line to say. dont come back at me with facts. i like facts. i believe in facts. im all pro facts. sounds like im saying facts like f a x. facts. its kinda hard to say and now that my attention has been brought to it, its gonna be impossible for me to say. but im not anti facts. im for them. if i make a statement, and there is a fact that will negate it, i dont want to hear it. or maybe i do. if theres a well received manifesto that you want to tell me about, email me chris@chrislaker.com and i will make an on-air correction.

im going to do the news now. oh, another thing about doing the transcript, though, before i do the news. i go through, cause the voice recorder app makes a transcript and so does substack when i upload, makes a transcript. im sure thats ai, its using data center fucking shit or something like that. its probably evil and bad for the environment. but it does it automatically. i cant even stop it, i dont think. and i go and clean it up and i see all the ums and the ohs and the fucking whatevers. and i just wanted to say, im sorry. i promised jacqueline that i would no longer say this podcast is a bad podcast. its a great podcast. its the best podcast. but i could be a little more concise with my language as a journalist. sorry about this fucking cough.

all right. im going to try to get through as much news as i can. of course, the supreme court is first. these fucking fucks. i hate judges. ive said it a number of times, which i shouldnt say on the record in case im in court. theyll play this. but i dont like the fact that they wear robes, i dont like the fact that they sit a little bit higher than everybody else, and i dont like the fact that they bang their little gavel to get attention. it seems very childish to me. like sit on the same level as everybody else, wear normal clothes, and if you need attention say excuse me. excuse me is very effective. everybody else uses it. you can even be angry, excuse me. you could, because youre being polite, but angry, but firm. banging a wooden mallet on the table, thatll probably get you thrown out of a restaurant. and the your honor, having to call them your honor. i dont like that either. we dont have royalty in the united states of america, this your honor thing. ive got to stop talking about my anti-judge views because one day it will come back at me. but here it is.

supreme court upholds birthright citizenship on constitutional grounds

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/wMO1ougSA6

yes. its an amendment of the constitution. birthrights. i dont even understand how that becomes a court case. its pretty clear in the constitution. i guess they go to the supreme court, says, yeah, i know what it says. but you know what we want to do. come on, just let us do the thing we want to do. they didnt know when they wrote that that it would be like this. you know what i mean. dont make me say it. theres certain kinds of people who have birthright citizenship now that maybe when they wrote this they wouldnt think those kinds of people would have it. come on, just let us do it. and that worked on a few of the justices. it wasnt like a clean sweep of the constitution wins there. so, but birthright citizenship still a thing. for now.

mount olive pickles withdraws from great american state fair after confederate flag at north carolina booth

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/rOtzBnpswv

i feel like anything there is to say about the confederate flag is so obvious and its been said a million times. its like, yeah, its a loser flag. its a traitor flag. its weird that people have this attachment to it and some attachment to the confederacy when they lost and they were on the wrong side of everything. you can just let that go, man. but they love it. i have family way back who fought in the civil war on the north side. and i dont claim some ownership of that. he wasnt me. but to make a big deal out of the north carolina booth having a confederate flag, they love that. they love the people getting upset about it. so its like, fine, fly your loser flag, nobodys seeing it at the america state fair anyway. theres like nobody there. thats probably also part of the reason why this mount olive pickle company pulled out. but good for mount olive pickles. im usually a vlasic person. maybe ill take a look at mount olive since they had the courage to stand up and say, we are not going to let the seven people coming to our booth stop us from pulling out of this fair because we dont agree with the confederate flag.

nun arrested by ice as she walked to mass in texas is released

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/NDnuejJ4X7

why would they arrest the nun walking to mass? did the ice agents, were they just watching sister act and then they see a nun walking? better arrest her in case, you know, criminal in disguise. and shes not, so they have to say, im sorry, you gotta understand, havent you seen sister act? youre walking around looking like a disguised whoopi goldberg, and you expect us not to question you. well, we didnt really question you, we arrested you. we call it questioning, but its arresting. the question is, do you think youre under arrest? and the answer is yes.

supreme court strikes down limits on political parties campaign spending in win for gop

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/txoi6InmtE

the supreme court, they love money. they love money when its being paid to them through alleged bribes. dont know that thats true. ive heard this being said. but they love money. they love money in elections. they love money going into their accounts. they love gifts. of any kind. so money is what everybody wants in elections, of course. if you ask anybody, do you want campaign finance reform? theyre saying, no, no, we want no regulation. all the money. i love political ads. i love getting the texts. i like whenever i watch a sporting event to just see all sorts of attack ads from these political packs that dont answer anybody. and i say this all the time, but i dont even understand who these ads work on. ive never seen a political ad and thought, i should listen to what theyre saying here. this is important, and definitely not a bunch of lies. and it hasnt worked here in california when tom steyer spent like more money than anybody on his governor campaign and he didnt get past the primary. and rick caruso, he spent a bunch of money trying to be the mayor of los angeles, and he lost by a lot. but i guess this is good. the gop are very happy. they get to spend a lot of money.

snow blankets montana closing beartooth pass and dumping sixteen inches near idaho border

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/JtOXBCiqMl

i thought everything was heating up right now. i guess everythings just all over the place. i used to watch those doomsday prepper reality shows showing peoples doomsday bunkers and the preppers always sounded so crazy. and now, i think theyre probably acting a little smug. i dont know any doomsday preppers. i should meet some. see if i can get space in a bunker.

us declares to exit usmca to start a decade-long countdown for the pact

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/248abxGLg2

what the fuck? this is the thing that trump said theres no nafta, then he renegotiates a new nafta, which is kind of like not much different from what i understand. i dont know that much. but this is the deal that trump made, and now he doesnt like it. maybe he forgets he made it because he might be suffering from some brain issues, some people are saying. so he doesnt remember making the deal and figures it must be obama. lets end it. thats a theory that i just made up and its a joke. satire.

one more story, and then i gotta go.

luigi mangiones federal trial in united healthcare ceos killing postponed until january

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/aFEJJXDwy5

luigis obviously innocent until proven guilty, and hes pled not guilty. i believe him. i dont think theyre just going to let him go, though, even if the jury finds him not guilty. i think theyll find another way to hang him up and hell just be in jail forever. but if hes found not guilty and gets to go home, itd be interesting to see. thats all im going to say about that. itd be interesting to see.

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see ya-chris.