Overthinking Mama

depleated

2012-02-25T08:26:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning feeling very down and sad. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I did because the kids want breakfast. I had planned to make French Toast for them.. and I get in the fridge only to realize that there was no eggs. L No French toast.

I just feel depleated.

I have no motivation for anything today and feel very overwhelmed. My house is a disaster. I have laundry everywhere that needs to be picked up, washed and put away. I need to get my son to baseball in an hour and I haven’t even showered yet. At some point I have to go to my dads and change the dressing on his foot. I have to take my son out to his dad at some point. And I just don’t see me getting things done. Yet here I sit on my computer venting things away. I just had my time with God and it helped me think of things.. I need to just put it all in his control. What doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done. It will be ok. I need to get back to making my lists.

I feel like there is so much I need to change in my life… and I am not completely sure where to start… and I am scared to death about it too…. Because I fear with this change… I am going to lose a lot friends in my life. But I guess then if the friends leave, they really weren’t friends to begin with right?? But that doesn’t make it feel any better.

Maybe its just the depression talking. I know in the end it will be ok. No it will be more than ok. It will be great!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Realization Friday

2012-02-24T07:16:00.002-08:00

Its Friday!!! I will get to leave early! I am going to a concert! Going to see Eric Church and Brantley Gilbert! I am so excited!!!

This week I have come to realize:

~that I have so much that I want to say… but haven’t been able to for the words to express it.

~ that I am getting super annoyed with some people in my life anymore…

~ that I think its time I back away some.

~ that I need to focus more on my Lord and my family over anything else in my life.

~ that I may have dreams of my own, but the Lord’s dreams for me are even more powerful.

~ that God has brought some amazing people into my life.

~ that I love being able to see where and how God’s working in my life… I love seeing and feeling his love.

~ That the next 30yrs of my life are going to be even more awesome than the last 30!!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

His Plan

2012-02-18T07:56:00.001-08:00

This morning like all others, I had some time with God… and of course I got this urge to write something… tho once again, I am not really sure what I am supposed to write.

This past week I have been struggling with what the Lord wants me to do… what the plan is for me. My dream is that of a typical girl… meet my prince charming… fall in love, get married and live happily ever after… have some kids, me be able to be with them and not working my life away… to make a loving home for the kids and my husband.. be the Proverbs 31 woman. But after this week, I am really starting to doubt that is part of my plans… and its heartbreaking because it is something that I want with my whole heart and soul… but I think God has a different plan for me. I think he wants me to remain single.

About two years ago, I felt the Lord encouraging me to start up a singles group… A support group of sorts where Christian singles that are struggling with being single and trying to find the person they are meant to be with… struggles they may have with drugs, alcohol, sex, lust, porn and whatever else they may struggle with.. I talked to my pastor (at the old church) about starting a singles group… He told me that it was very very hard to start a group like that and then kinda just blew me off… after that… I stopped going to church for awhile. I also met a man shortly after that and we started dating. (for a little over a year) and I kinda pushed that dream away. This past few months I started feeling that urge again… but I tried to just ignore it and go on with my life. I felt him talking to me about a few other things also.. but that is a whole other topic. Lol. But the Lord def has a plan for me and even if I am not going the path he wants.. he will find a way to get me back there. Lol This past week I have became single again… and even tho it was really hard and I am still hurting… I do know that its all part of God’s plan.

I don’t really know where to go or how to start.. but I know this singles group is something that need to be organized and put together. I strongly feel that there is a need for it. And I am going to keep praying on it and listen to the Lord.. and go where he needs me to go. In the next few weeks, I will be emailing my pastor and also talking with some of the people that I know and ask for advice, prayer, and encouragement. This is out of my element.. out of my comfort zone…but I know its where God is sending me.

This is my favorite passage: (the only one that I really know by heart)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Realizaton Friday

2012-02-17T07:46:00.000-08:00

Its Friday!!! I am so so so happy for this week to be done!!! Yay!!!

Thanks for everyone who sent me a realization!! J

This week I have come to realize:

~ life is no fairy tale… and sometimes prince charming ends up.. not. Lol.

~ I have some of the greatest friends in the worlds

~ that aaahh… I liked going to the shooting range and shooting the target paper! Lol. it was fun!

~ that I kinda want to go hunting. J

~ that I am probably just going to be single forever. Lol.

~ that I am glad things happened they way they did. I am def realized so much this week!

~ that the Lord always has a plan.. and sometimes if we try and divert from that plan.. he will let us be knocked down a peg to get us back onto that plan.

Hope ya’ll have a great weekend!!! I am going to try!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

My Mama Style

2012-02-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

My- MAMA Style

Top- Target- $8.99

Jeans- Charlotte Russe- Refuge $34.99

Undertank- ???- $5.99

Shoes- Burlington Coat Factory- $9.99

Scarf- ??? - 7.99

(sorry not the greatest pics :-( )

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Realization Friday

2012-02-10T08:15:00.001-08:00

o.m.g. (oh. My. Gosh.) I am so happy its Friday. This week has flown by tho. So I am thankful for that… and so thankful for my Lord for getting me out of the funk I was in last week… sometimes you need the tear to cleanse your eyes so you can truly see again!!

This week I have come to realize:

~ that in order to truly be happy- my focus needs to be on the Lord and not so much on life.

~ that things never turn out the way you want them to.

~ that life is a roller coaster at times.

~ communication is key to everything… with out it you are just stuck on stupid.

~ lists are very important!!

~ I need to get a good bible study guide and a new devotional. (any suggestions??)

~ that I seriously dislike having to call people.

~ I need to get into YOGA. I want to be able to obtain my dream to be a Christian Yoga Instructor.

~ sometimes I feel people look down on me… Im 30 with an almost 10 year old, not married. 2 kids. But ya know what??!!! Im a kick ass woman!! Period. The Lord has made me who I am, brought me to where I am. Im supporting my family. I own my own home. Been at the same job for 8 yrs now. I may not be the ideal woman… nor I may not be where I wanted to be by this point in my life. But I am here. I did it with out a man’s help or my parents help (financially). I am strong. I am beautiful. I am the woman God created, every single day I am becoming the woman he wants me to be.

Have a great weekend ya’ll!!!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

My- Mama Style

2012-02-07T07:35:00.000-08:00

My- MAMA Style

Shirt- Thrifted- 3.99

Undertank- ??-$5.99

Jeans- Refuge-Charlotte Russe $35.00

Shoes- Christmas Gift

Socks- (knee high) Christmas gift (years ago)

Scarf- Target- 7.99

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

a night of little sleep...

2012-02-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

Last night was a rough night. L This past week has been a really rough one… I sit here and wonder if it will ever get easier… when will the constant battles end… and in reality they wont. They will always be present in my life. That is the devil working with me… pulling me away from the Lord. The thing that will change in my life… is how I react to the battles. I need to quit trying to do it all alone. And even tho I constantly pray and say that I am putting it in God’s hands… I reality, I am not… I am holding all of that in… inside of me and letting it bring me down… let it tire me out… let it turn me into a person that I don’t like.

Starting today… I am going to change that. Now I know that I won’t be perfect after this… I know I will still get down and have bad days….but I will not let the devil win.

Last night I literally cried myself to sleep . I don’t think I finally feel asleep till after 3… this morning I didn’t want to get up… I just wanted to stay in bed… and ignore life. But as a mother of two wonderful kids… and having my son’s bff over… I had to get up. So I did. I made some coffee and then sat down… asked the kids for a few moments of uninterrupted time so I could regroup and spend some time with God… something that I really haven’t done in a while. And I needed it! The Lord is so good!!!! As always, he spoke to me… and I was down so far that I was able to hear and be open. He showed me

Hebrews 13:5 Keep you lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.

The prayer in the devotional that I found that passage in:

Dear Lord, I want contentment in the depth of my soul, but I fall into the trtap of believeing things will make me happy. Then I feel frustrated and confused. Show me the areas of my life I am trying to fill with something for someone other than YOU. I want lasting contentment that comes from knowing and beling loved by you. Help me recognize and want all I have in Christ. In Jesus’ name Amen.

(from the P31 Women’s devotions Gods Purpose for every woman)

That hit the nail on the head. Perfectly.

I have been focusing on things in my life that I want better… a bigger house… more time in the day… a husband at home to help with life… because I felt with these things, the overwhelming feelings I had with everything else in my life… would go away. And maybe to a point it would make life easier. But in reality… that’s not this moment. No point in sitting here focusing on what I don’t have… what I can’t do… I need to focus on what I can do… with the Lord!

Life is hard right now… I have the weight of my own home/family on my shoulders and the responsibility of my father too… There are so many days that I just want to scream… And there are days that I actually do scream!! Lol. But after I scream, instead of remaining focused on the negative… I need to start praying. Stopping what I am doing and regroup. Pray. And focus on what I can do. The Lord is with me thru all of this. He is there with me thru this… and I will get thru it… learn from it and be better because of it.

Life’s not really going to get any easier. There are too many things in my life that can not be changed right now… but it is my moment… to turn to the Lord for my strength… to be the person I long to be. To grow from this. And to be the woman/mom/daughter/sister/friend that the Lord has destined me to be. And sometimes it takes moments in the dark to be able to see the light… because if we are constantly surrounded by things in life that illuminating brightness… we might miss that light that the Lord emits and end up blinded.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

a year

2012-02-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting here thinking back on the past year of my life…. It has def. been up and down. I put that wall up around my heart just about this time last year.

It was Feb 12^th that B and I split. Things were strained on us and the LD part of it was really hard, especially with EVERYTHING going on in my life. We didn’t end the greatest (via text message in the middle of an argument) but some how over the next few weeks we began talking again and are now at least friends. I had so much going on in my life at that time that I really didn’t have time to mourn over the loss of our relationship. My stepmom had fallen that day and we spent most of the day up at the hospital with her. The 14^th my daughters father had surgery on his foot and I was the lucky one to take him for all of that and while he’s in surgery rush back to Lil Man’s school for his Valentine’s Day party. It was a very Long Day to say the least.

The next few months were bumpy to say the least. Well honestly the next almost year was bumpy. I met/ talked to a few guys…and got very hurt by one guy in particular, mainly because he was the one guy that I assumed would NEVER hurt me.

I found a new church that I abosultely love… but even still my spiritual motivation struggled and there was a few months I didn’t go to church at all. I still prayed all the time because honestly, I don’t think I could live with out praying. But I am just now in the last couple months getting back to where I want to be… and I know I have a long road ahead of me there but I know God is here with me guiding me along with that.

This past summer I partied a little too hard… I think mainly to avoid the lonely feelings that I constantly had. To try and make myself feel happy… but in reality it was all a lie. When it came down to it, I felt empty.

October came along and my step mom past away. I didn’t realize how hard it was on me. I backed away from almost everyone. I felt even more alone. But instead of turning to partying… I turned to focusing on my family and the very close few friends that I knew were there for me not matter what.

So hear I am now… trying to regroup and get my life to where I want it to be. So that is what this upcoming year is going to be all about. I need to stick thru it. Less partying it up… and more family time. I may lose some friends over this.. but in reality they aint the friends I need. I need to talk to an old friend from church one of these days soon and find out about our old bible study group and see if she’s still going. Sadly as much as I love my new church… going to the bible study groups is a little too much for me. Its far and with everything else in life… its just not the best option for me right now… and if she’s not going to that bible study anymore.. than I will find one.. some way some how.

I need to focus on the Lord more… I have been made to realize that even tho I say I am a Christian.. I am not living the way I should in a lot of aspect of my life… and I need to better myself with that. And that’s where I will be going with life in 2012. I have started reorganizing and decluttering my home… and next will be my daily routine and my head. I need to get myself and my family on some kind of schedule again. One we really haven’t been on for over a year and a half now. I need to be the parent my kids deserve.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Realization Friday

2012-02-03T10:33:00.001-08:00

Its Friday!!! Thank goodness… this week has seriously seemed to drag!!! I am so glad it’s the weekend!!!

Well the realizations have kinda sucked this week… I can’t remember the good ones… and I haven’t had any sent into me… PEOPLE!! Send me your realizations!!! overthinkingmama@gmail.com

This week I have come to realize:

~ that sometimes life is harder than we ever thought possible…

~ that sometimes I feel like my life right now… is just the waiting period for the real life I should have to start…

~ that I suck at remember my realizations

~ that I have been in a funk the past few weeks… I need to break that cycle

~ that I obviously aint as important to some of my friends and they are too me… maybe its time to change that.

~ that it always kinda freaks me out when someone says my name in a sentence… lol.

Hope ya’ll have an absolutely amazing weekend!!!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

2012-02-01T10:09:00.001-08:00

Well, In case you didn’t know… I have met someone!! YAY!!

I did the whole online dating site thing for a few months (from like Sept- Dec). Prayed A LOT about it and kinda left it into God’s hands. I went on some dates. Met some great guys. Met some crazy ones too. I didn’t let my heart nor my head control my choices and my emotions but I left all that up to God. I prayed for him to open my heart when the right man came along. So with all of those great guys (and thankfully the crazy ones too) , I didn’t really feel anything… I saw them in a different light. Saw their issues.. the red flags and because my heart wasn’t involved in it… I was able to make a rational choice and move on. The middle of December I decided I was done. I was done with the online dating thing and trying to meet someone. Again, I put that into God’s hands and let it be what it was. Right before I closed my account I received one more message. We both decided to exchange email addresses since it was easier for both us to communicate that way and then I closed my account. We emailed back and forth and I found myself very anxious to receive his emails. J (ooohhh!!!!). We finally exchanged phone numbers and haven’t stopped texting since.

It’s been almost two months since he first contacted me and I don’t think a day has gone by since, that we haven’t talked in some form. And here comes the tricky part… I am falling in love with him. And no that’s not the tricky part. The tricky part is me. And my head. I’ve kept my wall up for the past year so I wouldn’t be hurt… and the one and only time I put it down over the summer- I GOT HURT. Now my wall is down.. and I am so scared of being hurt. Scared that I am going to have all these strong emotions for this wonderful man… and he’s not going to feel the same. L

But in order to be able to fully be loved… I need that wall down and need to keep it down. Otherwise I won’t be able to feel the love that he does give me or be able to give anything in return. I will be more susceptible to be hurt… but I will also be more susceptible to feel something amazing.

So I am putting in all in God’s hands. Whatever happens will happen. I can’t dwell on the negative what ifs. If it doesn’t work out… then it doesn’t. I will have learned from it and will move on (tho I already know that if that happens.- Im done with dating. Lol) But if it does work out… this is going to be amazing.

God has a plan for us.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Marriage Quotes

2012-01-31T11:57:00.000-08:00

I found this awesome Blog and wanted to share it with you: ToLove, HONOR and vacuum by Shelia Wray Gregoire…

One of the articles that I read was The 50 best Marriage quotesof 2011… Below are some of my favorites that I thought I would share. Reading these quotes make me even more anxious and excited to finally be married to the man that God has planned of me. I can’t wait to be the wife God wants me to be.

Your only expectation of your future husband should be that he walk with Jesus.You want a man who will be a spiritual leader and that you worship Jesus together. If you have that, the chances of having a happy marriage are very high.
Lori Alexander, Your Standard of Beauty

Marriage is hard work and can be a bumpy road at times. But if I hang on tight to the hem of Jesus and the hand of my husband – I’ll have the best ride of my life!
Women Living Well, 14 Things I’ve Learned in 14 Years of Marriage

Love is by definition focused on its object. If I’m thinking about me, I am not focused on loving my man.
Elspeth, Traditional Christianity, The Heart of the Five Love Languages

It’s one of those cases where you may win the battle but lose the war. In marriage, it’s either win-win or lose-lose. There is no win-lose. If you both don’t win, you both lose.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Am I too Hard on Women?

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we should wait for someone else to do the right thing before we do the right thing.
To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Am I too Hard on Women?

Sex is God’s idea. It is His blessing to husbands and wives. It is His provision for making children, increasing intimacy, and providing pleasure to married couples whom He loves. Take a brief moment today to thank Him for sex.
Hot, Holy and Humorous, Are you Thankful for Sex?

Sex will fall by the wayside if you do not intentionally make it a priority.
One Flesh Marriage, Sex is the Glue

Sex should be deeply intimate and connecting, and while the physical pleasure is great and important, too much focus on that (for yourself or your bride) means not having the ability to focus on other vital aspects of the sex act. Maybe we would all enjoy sex more, and maybe even have more of it, if we stuck to a narrow menu, with something extra thrown in only very rarely.
Generous Husband, How Much Variety Does it Take?

Researchers found that spouses who reported above-average sexual satisfaction were 10 to 13 times more likely to be “very happy” in their marriage, compared with those who were less satisfied sexually.
Marriage Gems, Want a Happier Marriage? Be Generous

Intimacy should not be equated with sex. In fact, chances are, if you aren’t intimate in the other areas of your life your sexual intimacy will be one of the first things to suffer.
Marriage Life, Intimacy is a Marathon not a Sprint

Give your man a break. Let him be who God designed him to be.
Hot, Holy and Humorous, Prince Ideal vs. Prince Real

You don’t have to agree with him over everything. Just value him, listen to him and take him into consideration when there are choices to be made. And, please, never disgrace him publicly.
The Generous Wife, Worth and Value

You might think that you have all of the answers and need to protect your husband from making the wrong choice, but nagging, pouting, losing your temper and complaining aren’t going make him a better man.
Time Warp Wife, Trust in the Potter

As I released my fears and unrealistic expectations, I started to really like and love my man for who he is – as a husband, father and friend. My heart and my marriage began to heal.
Renee Swope, RooMag, Searching for Happily Ever After

Kiss every chance you get.
Intimacy in Marriage, Do You Really Have Plenty of Time to Nurture Your Marriage?

Please make sure you check out the blog and the above article to read all of the great quotes!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

My- Mama Style

2012-01-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

My- MAMA Style

Shirt- Abercrombie-Thrifted- 8.99

Undertank- Target-$5.99

Jeans- Refuge-Charlotte Russe $15.00

Shoes- Walmart $16.99

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

1st Hockey Game

2012-01-23T09:57:00.000-08:00

I took the boys to their first Hockey Game!! They absolutely loved it! And so did I and my bff! It was a ton of fun! I can't wait to go again. Now Lil Man and his Lil Buddy wanna learn how to play hockey. HHMMM... that could be a good idea... one way to get out some pent up aggression and get out some of that unused energy that seems to come out in the post inopportune times. :-p

cheese!!

funny faces!

big purses come in handy when your hands are full!

fight! fight! fight!

hehe.. we match- and didnt even mean to. White shirt anyone??!!

view of the city :-) love it.

souvenirs!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Realization Friday

2012-01-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

Well Its back to that time again! Its Friday!! TGIF!!!

So... what does that mean??!! But yes!! Its Realization Friday Time!!!

Thank you everyone who gave me some realizations for the week!! Its appreciated!!

aaaannnndddd.... we are off:

This week I have come to realize:

~ that extreme temperatures either hot or cold, give me headaches.

~ that there needs to be a puase button for the day, so that I can have more time and can get to the gym and not miss out on my kiddie time!

~ that I am a complete airhead at times

~ that sometimes compared to him... i kinda feel like my thought process is hippie like. lol.

~ That word is really irritating me today. ggrrr..

~ that my bff is awesome.

~ that my motivation for the gym as seriously slacked since last week. ugh.

~ that my mom is awesome!

~ that i am looking forward to seeing My Love tonight :-)

~ that I truly am blessed!

Alright guys.. thats it for this week... please send me your realizations for my post next week: overthinkingmama@gmail.com

Have a great weekend!! Gonna try and post pics all weekend... but ya know.. we will see how that goes! lol.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

retweets of the week

2012-01-19T06:58:00.000-08:00

I love retweeting great sayings… Here are some from this week that I have retweeted!! J

I'd rather hear a guy say, "I made plans for us." Instead of the usual... "I don't know, it's whatever you wanna do."

If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, it won’t. Simple as that

I love the way you lie...LOL JK, if you lie to me again i will throw a brick at your face.

God works in ways that us as human cant understand !

if you want to be treated with respect, you must respect others. That includes those you don’t agree with, or may not even like . #reality

The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

Sometimes you just have to sit and give yourself alone time to work out some emotional confusions.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

Not enough time.

2012-01-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

I am starting to feel the overwhelming-ness of life today. Ugh.

I feel like I hardly ever have any time at home anymore. And I hate it. I am always on the run to somewhere!

My average night the past couple weeks have consisted of: work till 5/515. pick up kid. Go to moms for other kid and dinner. Take Dad food/check on him. Gym. 730/800 ish go pick up kids from mom and head home. I am lucky if I am home by 8/830 every night.

I am seriously thinking that maybe I just can’t go to the gym afterwork. L I really can’t go every day on my lunch either. There just isn’t enough time. L It would be easier if I had someone at home to help with the kids… I could go to the gym after they were in bed. But that isn’t a possibility. So I have to figure something else out. Ugh.

I know life will get easier eventually… but right now… I am just exhausted. I don’t even hardly have time to see my new boyfriend. Maybe once a week if we are lucky.

Oh well. I supposed that is life. J And I am blessed.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

This morning

2012-01-17T12:59:00.001-08:00

posted from Bloggeroid

2012 Resolutions

2012-01-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

So every year I always make New Year Resolutions. 2010. I kept all of them!! Last year… yyyeeeeaaaaa….. not so much. I did NONE. L So this year!! I WILL keep and do all of my resolutions!! J

This is what I got for this year:

*** Pay off all medical bills

*** Get more organized. Home/Work/Life

*** Get closer to God- give him the control

*** Get the pics of the clothes I got to sell and get them up on a Website to sell!

*** Start a journal for God

*** Declutter EVERYTHING in my life… from my house, garage, car, purse, friends, facebook. Everything.

*** Blog More.. and blog with more pics. Make this blog more of a timeline of my life… not just blips here and there.

*** Gym time! Make time at least 3-4x a week. Get my body to where I am happy and confident- naked. (not that I will be walking around naked or anything… but I want to be able to look in the mirror and see myself and think. Damn. I look good for 2 kids and 30yrs old.)

So – wish me luck!!

Do you have any resolutions??

Blessing N Love

Overthinking Mama

why do i blog?

2012-01-16T12:27:00.001-08:00

I was asked the other day Why do I blog? I wasn’t really sure how to answer that. Its not for one certain reason or another.

I started blogging about 4 years ago. I have a lot of family out of state that isn’t able to be apart of my daily life with my kids.. so I started a Family Website. Shortly after I started that, the website got shut down. So after a little bit of research I found out about the whole world of blogging!! So I then decided to do a family blog, dedicated to all things to do with my family… the ups and the downs. Then after reading a few more blogs I got the motivation to start a “diary” of sorts. Where I talked about being a single mom, dating, guy issues, girl issues and sex. In 2010 I decided to buy a domain name and merge all my blogs together… and now we have www.overthinkingmama.com!! J

So why do I blog now??

I guess its for a whole bunch of different reason. Mainly I guess cuz some days I just feel this need to write. Even it ifs about absolutely nothing.. I just feel this desire or need to type something out… almost like an addiction. Lol. I crave feeling the keyboard under my fingers… the click click click as I type my thoughts on to the screen, sometimes not even knowing whats going to come out of the words that I am writing. Lol. Sometimes I feel God calling me to write about something in my life… I have been thru a few different things and have managed to get thru them all.. from being $20,000 in debt, being a single mom, being cheated on, dealing with an ex drug addict/ alcoholic, being hit, being emotionally abused and a lot more… that I feel like sometimes I need to get my story out there… just so maybe.. just maybe someone else won’t feel like they are alone with whatever it is that they are going through. I also use my blog as a way of documenting my life and my kids life. I have the first few years printed out and plan on doing the rest eventually and have it all in a binder. That way I can go back and see where I was at a cetain time of my life. Where my mindset was at, what kids were doing etc… I also do this as a relief. I feel better after I type up a blog post. It’s a stress reliever.. even if what I am writing about isn’t what is stressing me out at that moment.

I love blogging. I love writing. I love the people that I have “met” thru this and the other people that I have come to know thru their blogs. I think this is an awesome way of expressing yourself and putting yourself out there for others to get to know. I am a very shy and reserved person… so this is my outlet. This is my way of letting go where I feel like I can’t in real life. This is my sanity at times.

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama.

Saturday night

2012-01-15T19:42:00.001-08:00

Saturday night.. baby girl, my bff, Fajitas and margaritas. What could be better?! Maybe if my new man was with us?! :-)

Blessings n love
Overthinkingmama

posted from Bloggeroid

Realization Friday

2012-01-13T12:28:00.000-08:00

Yay!! Its Realization Friday!!

Here we are having our first REAL snow storm of the year! All I want to do it grab my kids, head home, light some candles, watch a movie and snuggle up with them on the couch. But… those plans are going to have to hold off till at least tomorrow.

Tonight, lil man is heading to his dads for the weekend and baby girl and I are heading over to a new beau’s J to hang out for a bit..

But anywho… Here are my realization for the week. Didn’t get any help this week L. Oh well.

This week I have come to realize:

~ that I want to get closer and closer to my Lord!

~ that working out everyday during the work week- kicks your butt!!

~ that I love working out!

~ that life, love and realationships don’t always go as planned.

~ calling someone 3days in a row, leaving voicemails and not getting a call back is super annoying.

~ that I don’t like a lot of Lady Antebellum songs. They kinda depress me. And Adelle.. sorry she just annoys me anymore.

~ not everyone in life is going to have the same beliefs as you but it is not your place to judge them but to be open about them and realize – to each their own.

~ that putting my life into God’s hands, praying continuously and letting him direct me is the best choice I have ever made with my life.

Hope ya’ll have a wonderful weekend!

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

a struggle

2012-01-11T08:21:00.001-08:00

Its been 4 years now… and I still look back and have no idea how I made it. I’ve had friends come and ask me for advice… how did I manage and all I can tell them is by Gods grace I was able to some how survive.

When my daughter was just 6 months old, her father and I split up. It was mutual… yet not. Lol. I knew deep down it was what was best because we just weren’t happy, but deep down, I didn’t want it. Any who…

Financially… I was screwed. I was so indebt from being with him and him being unemployed for 10 months. During which time I was on maternity leave having our daughter and it was also over Christmas. So everything in our life got put on MY credit cards. When he left. That was it. No help. They were my problem. $20,000 in debt. Now MY debt. I joined Incharge Debt solutions and got on a payment plan with them.

This is where I was then. I brought home $790 a pay. Every two weeks.

These were my monthly bills:

House $750

Car $293

InCharge $344

Gas $65

Electric $65

Water $45

Sitter $400

Phone $60

Insurance $120

Total: $2141.00 a month. I brought home $1580.00 CS- $400.00 a month.

Yea… No where close to being equal. And this didn’t include food, clothes or anything else in our life.

Till this day… I have no idea how I survived. I don’t know how I made ends meet. And there were even a few months where I paid my ex’s bills because he didn’t have the money to and they were still in my name.

The Lord helped me thru it. That is the only way I could have survived it all and not lost my car or my house or my sanity. People ask how I got thru… God. Prayer. And Faith. That’s it. At that time tho, I didn’t even realize I had that much faith. I mean I knew I did…. But not that in depth of faith… The Lord got me thru. The Lord provided for me. He made life possible for me.

So right now, if you are struggling… don’t give up… pray a little bit harder.. know that God sees you. He’s there beside you. He loves you!

Blessings N Love

Overthinkingmama

Realization Friday

2012-01-06T10:53:00.001-08:00

Its Realization Friday time… I am sorry its been so long since I’ve posted. Just so much going on and no motivation… I am going to try and change that this weekend. Hopefully. J

I actually had help this week with my realizations!!! Thank you!!!

This week I have come to realize:

~ that when a great person comes into your life and makes you feel great… you tend to forget all the good feelings anyone else ever made you feel.

~ that’s its hard for some people to be honest.

~ that it seems that no one thinks that I work… and that I can take care of whatever it is they need.

~ that men suck

~ that my life could be so much worse

~ that just because a movie has two huge actors in it doesn’t mean its going to be good.

~ that I am never going to be happy till I am happy with myself.

~ That my ex will never get his shit together and it makes me really sad.

~ that my parents are always going to tell me to get rid of my dogs.

~ that it seems crazy and too good to be true.. but I am letting go and falling in love with him.

~ that I seriously have slacked with the blog the last few weeks.. I need to get on that.

I hope ya’ll have a great weekend. I am looking forward to tonight. The man that I am interested is coming over. I am really excited for that! Then we are going out with a bunch of friends for a going away type gathering for my sis. She’s gotta go back to Cbus after being here for 2 months. L

Blessings N Love

Overthinking Mama

The reason for the season

2011-12-24T07:07:00.000-08:00

As I am sitting here on Christmas Eve... Sitting on my wonderful new couch that my sister Katie got for me and the kids this year... I realize how very blessed I am. I am staring at my lovely Christmas tree filled with gifts below and I am know that there are so many people out there that won't ever get to experience this.

I tweeted last night that I hate the holidays. And to an extent I do. I hate that everything is always so rushed. That some family members believe that they are getting shorted on their time with either me or my children... but unfortunately that is one of the prices to pay when you have multiple divorced families in the mix. My parents are divorced so I have to split the Christmas season between them. I am divorced and I have to split the time with my son between me and his father. I guess I am lucky in a selfish way that baby girls dad doesn't expect to get her for anything on any holiday, but then it makes it harder on my baby girl because she will maybe if we are lucky only see her dad for an hour or two over the next couple days. Sadly she doesn't really know any better... so this is life.

For the last 3 years I have gone to church on Christmas eve. This will probably be the first year that I won't be going. My regular church is a half hour away and with everything else going on.. there really isn't way time wise that I could make it out there for that. My old church is having their services at odd times.. so it makes it hard for me to make it to them... so I am a little sadened this year that I wont be able to go. For the last 3 years I didn't care what was going on what we had to do... WE went to church. This year... I kinda feel like I lost a part of myself. I am back to being overly worried about trying to make everyone happy and in the process I am not going to be doing something that is the key to this whole holiday season... I know that I don't have to go to church to celebrate the birth of our Lord... but I feel like I should.

I feel like this past 4 months I have gotten so wrapped up in everything in life that I have lost something of myself. I feel like I am so worried about trying to find time for everyone else and making everyone else happy that I have lost my own will.. lost my own motivation... I guess maybe I will put that on my list of things to accomplish for 2012... Get That Back!!! lol.

Anywho this post wasn't supposed to be a ramble on about me and my own issues.. it was to be about family... celebrations... and mainly Jesus!! Its his birth!! With out him would we still have this holiday??

Today for us will be spent with my dad, brother, sister and her love, and our grandmother. We always celebrate Christmas with them on Christmas Eve mainly because of the whole divorced family situations... it just ended up being easier. This will be our first year with out my step mom bobbi... its going to be a hard Christmas.. I have already broke down and cryed thinking about it. I know she is with us in spirit... but it will be hard.. this was one of her favorite holidays. :-( I never realized I could miss someone like I do. :-(

After the get together with the family I will be taking lil man to his dad and then head out to dinner at Red Lobster with my mom, step dad and brother. Again another tradition in my life. :-) Afterwards we always head to my moms and open one gift. I feel bad that my son won't get to participate in this tradition :-( but he will be with his father this year. (we do everyother year with who has lil man on Christmas eve)

Tomorrow will be a lazy kinda day. Lil man will come home early afternoon and then we will open our gifts here and then head to my mom for Christmas over there. So its a fun filled family time. Oh and on Monday we head to my Grandmas and celebrate with the family there. :-)

So... To everyone!!! I wish you all a wonderful Christmas!!!
Enjoy the time with your family... try not to let things stress you out.. focus on the love... and the reason for the season... JESUS!!!

Blessings N Love
Overthinking Mama