Managing your money during college can be tricky for a number of reasons. The financial burden of higher education has never been more of a pressing issue for young people, and many high school graduates are taking control of their finances for the first time ever. How much do you really understand about banking, credit, insurance, and understanding your taxes? Most universities have tools and options to help you get a handle on your financial aid and how much you owe, but there are plenty of other expenses, which can be hard to estimate before you really experience college life. Textbooks, rent, groceries, and gas can put you underwater long before you think about going to the bar with your friends. If you’re struggling with trying to figure out how to balance these expenses, along with planning your future, these are some fundamental skills you need.

1. Assess your Budget and Make the Obvious Changes

You don’t have to plan your monthly spending down to the last cent, because usually you can’t, but you should have an idea of how much money is coming in and how much is going out. Look at your sources of income, which probably include financial aid, money from your job, and any help your parents are providing, and then look at what you’re spending it on. Chances are, ways to save money will instantly occur to you. If you’re spending too much on driving, think about using your car less or shopping for better car insurance rates. If your food bills are too high, try investing in a meal plan at your school or simply eating out less. And think before you go out drinking every night. Besides the obvious effects on your health and study habits, the U.S. Department of Health states that college students in America spend a whopping amount of money on alcohol – $5.5 billion every year, which averages out to $50 a month for every student. In most cases, you can improve your financial literacy simply by taking it more seriously.

2. Consider the Smallest Things

Many people of every age could improve their financial situation by giving a lot more credit to the tiniest money decisions you make every day. Whether it’s using ATM machines that charge $5 a transaction, procrastinating so you have to buy last-minute new textbooks, feeling like you need that Starbucks latte every morning, or driving to class when it’s two blocks away, these choices really add up. Young people often fall into the trap of procrastination which is normal and expected – in fact, Psychology Today finds that 20 percent of people deliberately look for distractions when facing difficult tasks. College is full of difficult tasks, but avoiding your responsibilities as well as hunting for distractions can be expensive in the long run. Think about it every time you are out spending instead of at home studying.

3. Think About the Most Cost-effective Way to Finish School

Understanding your finances also means looking at the bigger picture, such as how long it is taking you to get your degree. Your parents and the government are guaranteed to appreciate efforts to finish as quickly as possible. Financing a fifth or sixth year of college because you didn’t take a full course load is an unnecessary financial burden for everyone involved. Of course, it’s not uncommon for students to take longer to graduate because of tuition costs and the fact that more and more of them must work to finance their own education. Time Magazine estimates that only 40 percent of students graduate in 4 years, and that altogether, a public school university education runs $4,000 to $5,000 every extra year. You can’t fool yourself about these prices, and you need to have a plan for how you’re going to shoulder them. For many people, college is about more than parties and pledges, it’s about finding extra employment, starting a savings account, making smart decisions about credit, and applying for all the scholarships they can.

There’s a lot to think about when it comes to handling college life, and too much of it has nothing to do with your classes. The cost of higher education in the United States is out of control – a fact that nobody could deny. But getting your degree is also more essential to your financial future than ever before. It may be overwhelming, but it’s worth it, and the great financial habits you form in college can benefit you for the rest of your life.

About the Author: Amy Thomson blogs for Monkey.co.uk. You can follow her on Twitter @VroomVroomAmy.

Modern technology has allowed us to communicate with one another no matter how far away we might be, which has changed the way we conduct both personal and professional interactions. But as a college student just entering, or re-entering, the workforce, don’t assume that tech-savvy will be enough to perform well in a phone interview. In the professional realm, interviewing by telephone or video conferencing is almost as common as traditional in-person interviews because it saves time and money for both parties involved. However, the unfamiliar set-up of a phone interview can often be intimidating for interviewees, especially if you’re fresh out of college and have little interviewing experience as it is, and doesn’t always follow the same rules as the traditional interview does. To ace your next phone interview, make sure to consider the following four crucial tips for a successful professional conference call.

1. Always Have a Hard Copy of Your Resume In Front Of You

In a world where we depend on the Internet for virtually everything, it’s hard to imagine that there may be a time when it won’t be around to help when access to important information is necessary. This may sound old-school, outdated, and ‘so 90s’ to the young job-seeker, a hard copy could be just the thing to help guide you successfully through the interview.

Although it’s unlikely that your Internet will suddenly crash during your phone interview, you want to make sure to have a physical copy of your resume, job description, notes and any other important information you’ll need for reference during the interview. A hard copy not only guarantees complete access, it helps you stay more organized during the conversation by taking notes and crossing off topics that were already addressed.

2. Dress to Impress

Do you tend to feel more confident with unkempt hair and sweats or professional attire and excellent grooming? Sure, the former may make you feel more comfortable, and after all this is a phone interview, but it won’t help you get into the psychological mindset of professionalism that you need to ace the interview. Believe it or not, this is no time for casually slouching around the dorm or apartment.

According to career expert Penelope Trunk, people often debate replacing suits in the workplace with business casual attire. To settle the argument, several studies were conducted to see how this new dress code might affect work ethic. The conclusion was made that people take their work more seriously when they’re dressed in professional attire, which is why dressing to impress can help you stay in the right mindset for the interview.

3. Check Your Equipment

Young students might not remember this, but there was a time where a physical wire came out of the wall and attached to the phone! OMG unbelievable! That’s right youngsters, even if you have the best cell phone service in the country, it’s usually best to play it safe by using a landline for your phone interview to prevent the risk of dropped calls, static and other disturbances that can affect the success of the interview. Once you’ve decided which phone to use, you’ll want to check it for sound quality and make sure to disable special features such as call waiting, answering machines and additional phone lines. Doing so can prevent potential distraction and embarrassment, which can interfere with your professional appeal. And you might want to avoid the payphone in the quad or by the laundry room…who knows what kinds of interruptions you might face!

4. Close with a Lead-In

The purpose of a phone interview is to ultimately present yourself in a positive manner that will land you an invitation to an in-person interview. Because this is the ultimate goal, you want to avoid ending the conversation without making a professional effort to accomplish this. To do so, ask the interviewer what the process is for determining who is brought to the next level of face-to-face interviewing. Find out how long you should expect to wait for whoever is in charge to make a decision and ask when the appropriate time is for a follow-up call. Avoid asking too many questions that may make you look desperate, but be assertive about what you’re after to show that you’re interested and serious about the job at hand.

For more information on finding out how you might fit into the workforce after college, check out career guru Richard Bolles’ extensive guidance on the interview process, as well as other tips for acing the interview in his best-selling book “What Color is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers.” By combining the advice above with the information in this helpful text, you can count on a successful phone interview that improves your odds of achieving a face-to-face session.

As an entrepreneur, your success depends greatly on your ability to ask the right questions. However, few people understand the enormous value of mastering this art. I would argue that several entrepreneurs—business professionals, too—have no idea that the quality of the questions they ask determines their fate.

Why is mastering the art of asking good questions not a high priority on the list of skills to acquire for entrepreneurs? Perhaps we assume that all questions are created equal, and that’s simply not true. Depending on the situation, there are good questions and bad questions. Being able to determine the difference gives you a competitive advantage in business. Let’s examine exactly what good and bad questions are.

In general, a bad question is one that doesn’t encourage a substantive answer. For example, if you have just received an order from a new customer, “Shall I send you an invoice?” is a poor question. This question can be answered quite easily without any detailed information that could help you speed up the entire payment process, not to mention that the answer is quite obvious. The prospect may simply answer, “Yes.” Of course, you could follow up with another question—“How long will it take for payment?”—but you now sound a bit imposing and impatient. A good question in this situation would be, “What are the steps you have to go through to issue payment?” This question invokes a much more thorough answer without an imposing follow-up question. Perhaps the client reveals in the answer that one of the steps is issuing a check from a third party, which takes at least a week. Knowing this, you can now offer suggestions to expedite the payment process, such as encouraging the client to pay with a credit card because you offer a 5 percent discount.

Asking the right questions after an objection is perhaps the most important time when this skill comes in handy. Customers rarely share the true reasons behind their hesitations, and the right questions can reveal those reasons. For instance, to overcome an objection about price, try asking, “What kind of return on investment are you expecting?” After cleverly exposing the truth through good questions, you can directly address objections, improving your chances of winning over an individual. Likewise, addressing objections in this way helps entrepreneurs with vetting or refining a start-up idea.

A common impediment that customers have is high cost. In several negotiations, customers have complained that my price is too high. After asking them, for example, to describe their budgetary process, I might learn that cost is often not the issue. Frequently, customers overspend their budgets for a given time period, in which case you could invoice them during two separate periods or suggest that they share the costs with another department with available funds. You can receive the full value for your product or service if you know the right questions to ask. A bad question or simply not asking any question after an objection could cost you that million-dollar deal.

Avoid closed-ended questions, which can be answered with a simple yes or no. In general, open-ended questions are much better than simple yes-or-no questions. For instance, instead of asking a potential customer if she is satisfied with a competitor’s product or service, ask specifically what she likes and dislikes about it. This information is highly valuable and helps you position your company to win her business.

Corporate sales expert Paul Cherry has said, “Research has shown that during typical business interactions customers reveal only 20 percent of what is on their minds. . . . It is your responsibility to get to the other 80 percent.” The best entrepreneurs get to this other 80 percent by asking the right questions and turning the answers into an irresistible business solution. As you continue to improve your skills, whether in selling or product development, focus on mastering the art of asking great questions to take your business to the next level. There’s no question (pun intended) that you’ll see an improvement immediately.

NOTE: This is a revised segment from the new book The Entrepreneur Mind: 100 Essential Beliefs, Characteristics, and Habits of Elite Entrepreneurs

Student Leaders at Seminole State College (FL)

1. Make the meeting fun and interesting with lots of participation.
2. A greeter welcomes attendees to the meeting.
3. Have icebreakers to give the attendees a chance to meet other people.
4. Call the meeting to order on time.
5. Lead a group activity such as the Pledge of Allegiance.
6. Recite club or organization “pledge.”
7. Have an invocation, humorous story, or a thought of the day.
8. Offer member education in the form of the “Membership Minute.”
9. Officers report on their activities and items of interest.
10. Introduce special guests, such as the Dean of Students.
11. Have the greeter introduce other guests and meeting visitors.
12. Committees report on their area of responsibility and upcoming activities.
13. Recognize birthdays, big accomplishments, milestones.
14. End the meeting on time.

By the way, not only will your campus meetings be better, but these are organizational skills that will serve you in your future career or entrepreneurial endeavors. Now is the time to get it right and become a better leader.

Relationships will take on new meanings now so you really want to learn how to deal with them. Depending on your career choice, you may need to develop good people skills. Even if you won’t be dealing directly with others in your career, it is helpful to learn this fine art now.

During your college years you will meet all sorts of different people, and this will help to develop your people skills. You want to learn to get along with all the difference people and personalities harmoniously.

You can learn how to get along with others starting with your dorm. Chances are you will have a room-mate, or mates. Depending on the type of dorm, you could have one to three others sharing your space. They will be people who you may or may not have stuff in common with. This is a great way to learn how to develop strong friendships and bonds with others.

You can also turn to the counselors at the school. They will help you in improving your people skills and in learning how to get along well with others.

Remember… Your happy life is an inside job,
Herb

From the moment you start college until you land your dream job, you will probably hear a lot of talk about internships. The low or non-existent pay and the difficulty of finding a good internship can deter many students. However, in this competitive job market, internships have evolved from an added bonus to your resume to a more serious requirement for many jobs. According to a National Association of Colleges and Employers survey, nearly 50 percent of employers would like to see an internship on a student’s resume. The good news is that internships don’t have to be a struggle. Embrace the opportunity to take a break from studying and lugging around your textbooks for a chance to get real world experience as an intern.

Pros of Having an Internship

Opportunity to Network - Who you know is almost as important as the training and education you receive from your college degree. Internships give you a unique opportunity to build relationships with business professionals that can ultimately help you land the job of your dreams through mentorships and recommendations. An internship is also a great way to get your foot in the door of a company.

Valuable Real-Life Experience - While reading, exams, and lectures are the foundation of college learning, getting hands-on experience has unparalleled value. Internships are a great way to gain the necessary experience many companies require without having to wait until your first job begins. Many colleges also offer academic college credit for internships in a student’s field of study, making even unpaid internships extremely valuable.

Career Path Assistance - While many students go into college knowing what they want to major in and ultimately the career they want to have, it is perfectly normal for a student to not know until later in his or her college career. Because most internships are flexible and temporary, they offer a great opportunity to work in different industries to see if they are a good fit.

How to Find an Internship

Ask Around - Many companies actively reach out to colleges to find the best interns for their programs. With that being said, some of the most sought after internships can be extremely difficult to land. Establish a good relationship with your professors and let them know that you are actively searching for an internship. Also ask friends, family members, coaches, and any other business professionals you know to alert you of any potential internship opportunities. Lastly, if you meet someone who has a job that you would enjoy doing, don’t be afraid to ask them what steps they took to get their position. They may have great advice, leads, or even know of an internship opportunity.

Utilize Campus Services - Many college campuses have free career services available to students. These services can help you learn where and how to look for positions, how to network, how to write a resume and cover letter, and even how to figure out your career interests. Remember, your college tuition pays for these free services, so be sure to utilize them while they are available to you.

Use the Web - Technology has simplified the task of searching for jobs and internships. Utilize job and internship search boards, websites, and email lists. Social media can play a role in your search as well. Use platforms like LinkedIn and even Twitter to find people you are interested in connecting with.

While the added work of an internship can be stressful at times, the experience gained is priceless and can help in your future career. Successfully completing an internship can be one of the most valuable experiences of your college years.

About the Author: Lindsay Traiman writes on behalf of Skyo, an online site for renting or buying cheap textbooks with a variety of flexible rental options. Visit www.skyo.com today to buy textbooks online and find advice on Skyo’s college blog.

Would you like to continue your education, but you’re not sure where to start? When people talk about “going back to school” it doesn’t have to be for a four-year degree. There are certificates, diplomas, degrees and even individual courses veterans and other mature students find enriches their lives and helps them on their career paths. But what’s the difference between these options? Read on to find out.

Certificates

Students are awarded certificates for a short- or medium-term vocational program. These programs usually focus on a specific skill and are practical in nature. Some programs might be only a day or a weekend, while others might take a year or more to finish, depending on the complexity of the topic you study and the level of expertise you gain when studying for the certificate.

Scholarships for veterans and other financial aid can be applied to most certificate courses and the courses for diplomas and degrees, but if a certification course is very short or isn’t recognized by the proper authorities, then you may not be able to apply your aid money to it. Check with the admissions people at the school about your individual situation before applying. However, since certification courses are usually less expensive than diploma or degree courses, financial aid might not be as important a consideration.

People often take certification courses to supplement other diplomas or degrees. For example, job seekers may earn computer certifications to make themselves more attractive to potential employers. Or, people wishing to change careers might take a certification course in a subject related to their new field to see if they like it before making the switch official.

Often, certificates are awarded in stages, so to finish the requirements for a certain line of work you may need to earn several certificates, one after another. Other times, certificates expire after a specific date, and you’ll need to retake certain tests or courses to renew them. Many first aid courses’ certificates, for example, will expire. To keep first aid responders at their top skill level, the certificates limit validity so people will get ongoing training and keep up with the latest techniques for saving lives.

Diplomas

Like certificates, diplomas are usually thought to be more specific and practical than degree programs, which can be more concerned with theory. However, diploma courses are often — but not always — longer than certification courses. Some schools or training institutions use “certification” and “diploma” interchangeably, but most do not. The word “diploma” can also refer to the piece of paper that proves you have earned a university degree, so it’s best to be very clear about what kind of qualification you’re earning before you enroll at a school. Ask the admissions officer if you are uncertain.

In the field of health care, it’s common for nurses and other health care professionals to seek two-year diplomas. These are often a mix of theory and practice, and may be offered as specialties for certain areas of medicine.

If you’re thinking of enrolling in a diploma program, it’s worth checking out to see if any of the credits from your program will be transferrable to a degree program later, if you so choose. This is often the case and can be helpful in your long-term planning.

Degrees

Degree programs are what you commonly find at community colleges and universities. They are typically two- or four-year programs made up of multiple courses covering a variety of subjects. In the United States, most degree programs require students to earn a broad base of knowledge surrounding their specialty, which is called a “major.” So, when someone studies for a bachelor’s degree in economics, they’re really studying a number of subjects over the course of four years, with an emphasis on economics. Many students also add a “minor” or secondary emphasis. It’s common for students to pick minors and majors that go together — a major in marketing with a minor in communications, for example — but this isn’t absolute. Of the three kinds of programs, degree programs are almost always the most expensive because they take the most time. They also provide a broader foundation for students and greater flexibility of employment after graduation.

About the Author: Debra Sorenson works in the admissions office of a community college in New England. She blogs about gardening and continuing education, and teaches a certification course to seniors on first aid.

Do you often think about what you want to become or be after college and then feel a fair amount of pressure because you haven’t figured it out yet? Well, to truly grow into what you really enjoy and what makes you happy for no reason at all, you must make small everyday choices that lead to long term satisfaction, peace, and overall success.

If you practice making authentic choices consistently, your choice of job or career will be an extension of who you are. Make sure that what you think you want, say you want, and what you actually do match up. Print out and post this “choice list” in a place that you visit often to help you get started with tiny steps that lead to mega results in the long run – in all areas of your life!

1. I choose to stretch and move, not sit
2. I choose to eat fruits, vegetables, nuts, and grains that increase my energy
3. I choose to breathe, deeply and fully
4. I choose to connect with my Creator daily
5. I choose to be compassionate and caring
6. I choose to be honest with myself and others
7. I choose to use my voice, speak up, and share my truth with an intention of love
8. I choose to learn more about myself through personal problems or upsets
9. I choose to keep it real with my thoughts, words, and actions
10. I choose to listen to my body and my heart
11. I choose to never ever give up on myself

Remember: Growth in Motion!! = Self Care + Self Empowerment + Self Knowledge + Self Direction

Take Care of Yourself,
♥Felicia
“Living a Growth in Motion™!! Lifestyle”

This is another icebreaker in the “Sure-fire Icebreaker” series. Below is a full script of an amazing icebreaker. I created such an extensive description because I’ve found that it can be difficult to do a great icebreaker from a three-sentence description. Being a professional speaker and student leader trainer, I’m on college campuses often doing leadership retreats and orientations. Over the past decade, working with tens of thousands of students, I’ve learned the hard way what works and what doesn’t. Most icebreakers flop because the students don’t fully understand the directions or they feel corny or awkward doing it. It ends up being a lot of work and not a lot of play. Follow my script and you can skip the learning curve and move right into awesomeness!

This is a very low risk, low gradient activity that is a lot of fun. I like to have at least 10 people to start. After that it works with any size group you have room for. I’ve done it with 1000 students before. This also works with groups who’ve never meet before and groups who are very close to each other. Have fun!

“How many of you know how to play rock-paper-scissors? Let’s review. Rock beats…scissors.”

I review because 100% of the time I say, rock beats…1/2 of the people say scissors and the other 1/2 say paper. It makes me laugh every time.

“That’s why we review. Scissor beats…paper. Paper beats…rock. There’s no dynamite or nuclear bombs or hand grenades. Just rock, paper and scissors.”

“Here’s how it works. My I get a volunteer please? What’s your name? John. Give John a big round of applause. The object of this activity* is to go from a 1 to a 5.”

I hold up one finger and then five to demonstrate…

“Here’s how it works. Everyone will start as a 1. Let’s say I’m a 1. I hold up my finger and look for someone else who has a 1 up. I introduce myself.”

While shaking hands I say…

“Hi, I’m Troy…Hi, I’m John. You don’t need to tell them your lives’ story. Just introduce yourself. Then you have a duel. Feel free to get intense, maybe do a little sumo thing.”

I get down into a sumo stance and have my partner do the same if they’re comfortable. Everyone usually laughs at that.

“When we have our face-off it will look like this- we say, rock, paper, scissors, shoot.”

On ‘shoot’ you show your rock, paper, or scissors.

“It’s not, rock, paper shoot. It’s, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Not, one, two, shoot. It’s, one, two, three, shoot. Got it? That’s very important. Okay John, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.”

Let’s say John wins.

“Nice John. Since John won, he goes from a 1 to a 2. Since I didn’t win, I stay at a 1.”

Hold up your fingers to demonstrate. This type of modeling helps cement the learning.

“Okay, let’s say I’m at a 3. I walk around holding up three fingers and look for someone else who is holding up three fingers.”

Of course, I demonstrate this. And I look to John and hint for him to put up three fingers.

“Introduce yourself…Hi, I’m Troy. Hi, I’m John. Nice to meet you. And then have a face-off.”

I get into the sumo position again- just for fun.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!”

Let’s pretend I won.

“Oh, I got you John. Since I won, I go from a 3 to a…4. Since John didn’t win, he goes from a 3 to a…2. Right, he goes down one. But you don’t go below a 1. 1 is the lowest number. Excellent. Thank you John. Let’s give John a big thank you for volunteering.

“Remember, the object is to go from a 1 to a 5. If you’re so fortunate as to get to 5, then you come up to this area of the room. You could even come up on stage.”

I like to have all the 5s come to the general area in which I’m setting up the activity. Going up on stage is even better if that’s possible.

“And you hang out with all the other fives and just be cool. You can walk around all cool like. And give high-fives to all the other 5.”

“What questions do you have?”

“Alright, let’s get to it. Everyone hold up one finger. Find someone else with a one up in the air, and begin!”

Playing music is a nice touch here.

When everyone starts playing I’ll usually join in with them for the first couple minutes. Then I’ll head over to where the 5s will be going. I like to get there before any 5s arrive. I go there to greet them with a high-five, big smile and a wahoo! My goal is to keep the energy up and encourage them to welcome the new 5s with a big high-five.

When I notice that just a little less than 1/2 of the group has made it to a 5, I stop the activity. I shut the music off and say…

“Freeze where you are. Hold up the number of fingers you are at right now.”

It may take a little bit longer than normal to quiet everyone down because some people have to finish the round they just started. It’s okay. Be patient.

“If you are at a 3, let me hear you! If you are a 4 let me hear you! If you are a 5! If you are a 2! If you are a 1! Raise your hand if you did not get past a 3? Did anyone not get past a 2? Is it possible that someone didn’t get past a 1?! Amazing! Let’s give them a big hand because that takes talent!”

If no one raises their hand for not getting past a 1 then I say…)

“I didn’t think so. If you didn’t get past a 2, raise your hand again. Let’s give them a big hand because that’s a very difficult thing to do. They’ve got skills!”

There is another version you can do that is much higher gradient. Instead of going from 1 to 5, they act out different things. For example, instead of a 1 they would be an egg. They squat down a bit and waddle around and look for another person who is looking like an egg. The winner goes from an egg to a chicken. They tuck their arms under and flap away while making chicken sounds. Do you see what I mean by higher gradient? This can be quite scary for some people to role-play like this. Only do this with a group that is ready. If they aren’t, you’ll have people walking out of the room or resentful they have to play this “cheesy” kid game. But if they’re ready they will have a blast and become even closer as a group.

Here’s the progression I usually use: Egg…chicken…dinosaur…Elvis…graduating senior.

It helps to have a motion and a sound for each [I’m open to suggestions for a sound for the egg].

Feel free to make up your own progression. Maybe figure out a way to use your school mascot. Have fun, be creative .

*When I do this with groups who aren’t necessarily there for icebreakers I like to call it an activity instead of an icebreaker or game . Some people don’t like icebreakers or games, but if it’s just an activity, then they may be able to buy into it easier. I know it is a little detail but it could make all the difference with some groups.

When we last left Jake, he was pretty much freaking out during the beginning weeks of his first semester at college. The issue? He didn’t think being away from home would be this intense. That’s a pretty common issue that many college freshmen have. It can be pretty frightening when you are around that many new people in a place that has nothing to do with home. The pressure of making a success of it can weigh heavy on student’s minds. So what’s Jake up to now? He’s pretty much feeling the same thing. It’s like this dark cloud comes over him and he can’t seem to break free of it.

I’m a Certified Life Coach that helps people through situations like this so I offered my assistance. Here’s how our introductory session went…

Robert the Life Coach: Jake, tell me how you feel right now about being here on campus.

Jake: It’s not that great, I have to say that. It’s nothing like I thought it would be.

Robert: How so?

Jake: It’s like there’s so many layers of things that don’t make sense to me. I don’t know anyone. I think my roommate is weird and I never thought I’d say it, but I miss being at home. My Mom’s meatloaf never tasted better!

Robert: I hear you! So let’s do this. Do you believe there’s a way to break free of all these dark clouds that seem to follow you around campus wherever you go?

Jake: Yea. At least I’d like to think so. I just haven’t been able to. This sucks!

Robert: Feeling kind of stuck?

Jake: Yup!

Robert: Let me tell you this. Believing that this situation can indeed be overcome is half the battle. If you didn’t believe that you’d eventually be able to rise above all of this, that would be so much tougher to remedy. What we’ll do now is break things into a few categories since you say that there are a few things that seem to be going on with how you feel. Then we’ll look at ways to get results so you can literally lift yourself out of the issues you find yourself dwelling on at the moment. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I want you to know that you weren’t meant to live with these emotions for the rest of your life. This is temporary, Jake.

I know you won’t believe this but sometimes it’s a good thing that stuff like this comes up so early in the game because it needed to come up. It can be as simple as that. Some people hold things like this in for a good while and refuse to acknowledge that there’s an issue. That’s when things can take a turn for the worse but the cool thing is, you’re not there. What I’m saying is, understand and feel that this is all temporary and you will get to a place to where you will totally believe that being on campus, doing what you need to do not only for this semester, is and will be a good thing. It can be a great thing with amazing results.

Stuff like this comes up like bumps in a road. The important thing to understand is that they may not feel like it, but they are just bumps. As long as you keep moving forward, the bumps can quickly become a thing of the past. If you keep going forward down the road, the bumps are a temporary thing. But, if you stop the car and freak out because there are bumps, you never end up getting to where you need to be further down the road cause you’re still stuck on the fact that there are bumps. Does this make sense?

Jake: Yea, it really does. I never really thought of all of this that way. I can already see that I’m only stuck temporarily, it’s not something that I’ll have to live with forever. It feels like it’s forever, but I understand the logic of it not being so

Robert: So much of this has to do with what you believe. Your feelings are based on what you believe the moment you are feeling them. Consider the possibility that not everything you believe is really so. It’s about shifting your beliefs, your mindset, and then getting a plan to keep you out of the clouds should stuff like this ever come up again. It just might, but when it does come up again in the future, you won’t attach yourself and buy into the emotions and feelings that you seem to be wearing now. Wearing your emotions means that you think they are a part of you, like your clothes. They are just clothes though in the sense that you can separate them from who you really are. You just need to know how. Make sense?

Jake: It does.

Robert: So here’s what I want to ask you. Since you said that you are dealing with more than one issue, can you list the specific issues and give a one word title to each issue?

Jake: Um, I’ll try. So the first issue is…being away from home.

Robert: So what one word would you use to describe this issue?

Jake: Well…..Sadness?

Robert: Good. What’s the next word that would describe the next issue?

Jake: The next issue is all of the new people everywhere here that I don’t know, including my weird roomate.

Robert: So, how about a word for that?

Jake: Let’s see…..Fear?

Robert: Very good. Next issue?

Jake: Well there’s the fear I have of not making good grades. So I’ll call that…can I use more than one word?

Robert: You bet you can.

Jake: I’ll call that Not Making the Grade.

Robert: Excellent Jake. Any others?

Jake: Yup. There’s one more.

Robert: Go ahead.

Jake: The issue of not being popular or well liked.

Robert: Super. Let’s call that one Not Being Popular. Any others?

Jake: Nope.

Robert: OK. Great job! So let’s review here. Looks like we’ve got four main issues to work on. First up is the issue of being away from home, the issue of Sadness. Next we’ve got the issue of new people being everywhere, the issue of Fear. After that we have Not Making the Grade concerning the pressure you feel about performing well academically and then there’s Not Being Popular. Have I got them right?

Jake: Yes, sounds like it.

Robert: Good. So what we’ll do is divide these four into sessions, one session each, and talk about this and most important, give you the tools you need so that you can see that these issues don’t need to be issues any longer. Does that sound good?

Jake: Yes, it does

Robert: Excellent Jake. So next session we’ll start with the first one which is being away from home, the issue of Sadness. What I’d like you to do between now and then is think of why you’d feel sad being away from home. Really spend some time thinking about this and right up a couple of bullet points that describe what it is you are feeling concerning this issue. Bring that to our next session and we’ll start with that. OK?

Jake: Sounds good. Thank you Robert

Robert: Thank you Jake. We’ll get there!

Jake left the session feeling pretty good. Not excellent, but pretty good. When he looked at why he was only feeling pretty good he found that a part of him really didn’t want to talk about any of this with someone like me. He even got to the point that he wasn’t sure he’d show for the next session. What transpired next was very interesting, to say the least. To find out what went down, stay tuned to the next blog post!

Robert