PA Radio w/Ant&TK

::Interview With A Squirter:: Hot Topics

2013-02-24T12:59:00.000-05:00

We all have female friends who are sexually active. Some of us have even seen them engage in intercourse, or worse, heard the gory details afterwards when it concerns a good friend of ours. Like I care what my friends’ cocks look like or feel like. Isn’t it just like a woman to think men care about that shit? No thanks. we just want you to tell us about all your girl-friends and whether they have inie or outie vaginas. Spare us the dick talk. And let us know who’s fucking gnarly beef curtains to steer clear of.

I have this female friend. I won’t bother divulging her name because she takes pride in her anonymity. Especially when it comes to having conversations about her sex life, when she knows I’m typing every word she speaks. At those moments, she definitely prefers to remain anonymous.

Today I asked her to come over so that PA Radio could interview her –on the record, except for her name or the names of her partners — about her career as a squirter. It was a short career, longer than Sandy Koufax’s but shorter than Roger Clemens’. Sex isn’t baseball, so I can’t spit out a bunch of impressive stats, because I don’t think anyone really keeps track of squirting stats. What would a squirt stat actually look like? Average distance squirted? Most squirts in a game? What constitutes a game in squirting, is it an entire relationship? Is it one sexual encounter? So many questions about squirting…so little time.

So here are a few answers to our questions about squirting. Enjoy!

How did you first found out that you were a squirter?

It was not my first time having sex. I was seventeen years old and it was with my brother’s roommate before they actually became roommates. I was at his place before he moved in with my brother. And, um, we had come home from a party and I stayed with him. And, uh, she — I’m sorry he — we fucked all night and it was in the dark, but…like, when I had to get up and go to the bathroom I noticed that there was, like, a big wet spot on the bed where we were fucking. And I was like, “Oh my god.” And it didn’t smell like urine, but I did have an amazing sexual time. And he was, like, “You’re a squirter,” and I was, like, “No!” And he was, like, “No you’re a squirter that’s fucking awesome!”

But you didn’t actually feel it happening during the process?

Well, I felt an orgasm. I had several orgasms.

But you didn’t recognize it as something new, or feel the…flush?

Well yeah, I didn’t feel it happen with the orgasm. But now that I’m twenty-seven years old I can control it.

Have you ever freaked a guy out?

Yeah.

Did he leave?

He didn’t leave…he just claimed that I pissed all over him. I told him I was a squirter and he didn’t know what a squirter was. He had no idea. He said, “That’s just a way of saying you pissed all over me and it’s fine. I don’t want golden showers. Get off me.” So I said, “I should go,” and I left.

What a dick. Has a guy ever been licking your box and you squirted in his face?

Yeah.

Tell us about it.

Before I dated my second ex-boyfriend he — sorry I — hooked up with this guy who I was friends with in college. And we’d always talk about how we loved giving head. And he said he could eat pussy all night. And I said that I could fucking suck dick. And we just talked back and forth all night about doing that, every time we’d be out together. You know, nasty talk. ‘Til one night when we got really good and flirty, and he went down on me for, like, over an hour. And it was awesome. He wasn’t lying. And I blew a load in his mouth.

Did he swallow? Did he keep the change?

Yeah. And then he kept licking my box. I felt really insecure when I felt the liquid coming. But he didn’t. He kept going. He said I tasted good. I don’t know, though…they all lie in bed.

Now’s a good time to get into the liquid aspect of it. Is it a clear liquid?

Yeah, it’s a clear liquid. It’s not white. It’s not jizz. You have a milky discharge in yours and that’s why it’s white. Like, if it were just the semen…semen would be clear. But in the process of getting the semen out of the penis there’s a milky discharge that covers the semen to protect them.

So it’s not like you have semen, so why is it clear?

The vagina is a constant-cleansing organism — sorry organ — so it’s always cleaning itself. So there will be times during the winter that you’ll pull your pants down to go to the bathroom and wipe yourself. Then you pull your pants back up and it’s cold against your vagina. And you’re, like, “Oooh oh oh oh ” because the stuff that’s been cleansed out of your vagina is on your underwear. That’s why it’s important for girls to change their underwear every day.

I never the vagina was a self-cleansing organism.

ORGAN! Organ.

How many guys have you slept with?

I’m not going to share that information. Can I ballpark it?

Yeah, ballpark it.

Less than 100, more than 30.

That’s not a fucking ballpark, that’s a fucking nation. If you’re going to say less than 100 you have to say more than 80. You have to be within twenty.

Less than 80.

Less than 60?

Guys this is really personal information.

It’s anonymous! So between 30 and 60?

Yeah, we’ll say that.

No, is that in the ballpark or no?

I stopped counting at….36? I’d have to write my list down. I have it. My roommate and I did it when I was 22. We were both up to thirty-something. But that was four years ago.

Wait, you said you were 27.

No, I said 26.

I’m pretty sure somewhere before you said 27.

I’m 26. You’re thinking of someone else.

So when the dick is inside of you and you begin to squirt, does it actually almost push the dick out of your vag?

Yeah. Ok, well…what happens is…my kegels flex so they tighten, which is the muscle that helps to squirt the sexual juices of a woman. So when they are tightening, that is what causes the penis to be pushed out. Because there’s also squirt action coming as well. Now that I’ve held the squirt action long enough it’s just the tightening, so the dick doesn’t come out. That usually makes men come because it’s like having your dick grabbed onto.

Why did you stop squirting?

Because of that douchebag that thought I peed on him. When I tell guys that I’m a squirter sometimes they put a towel down on the bed like I’m a fucking baby. Whenever I have sex…afterwards we either have to change the sheets or put towels down, which is what I had to do with my second ex-boyfriend, because we’d go at it like fucking rabbits. I didn’t get self-conscious about that guy. He ate my load a couple times. The douchebag was after him. And my third ex-boyfriend thought that I’d peed on him too.

So when was this? When did you stop?

This past summer. I felt like I should stop.

How’d you do it? Was it hard?

Yeah. When the cock is inside me sometimes I feel like it’s coming. And there’s a place inside my vagina right behind my clit that…if you were to finger me and press it as you’re pulling out that’s what triggers the squirt. So I had to get a dildo and I started to do that to myself to train myself to not do it. And it’s made my orgasms that much better. I don’t feel self-conscious. I feel orgasms like I’ve never experienced. It used to just be all around the vagina and the chest — where I’d feel the orgasm — now it spreads out to my toes and fingers and it’s a full-body high. It’s unreal!

How long did you have to train before you were ready to get back in the game.

Well I trained with my finger for about three months until my fuck-buddy found out I was back in town. And we had a wild threesome and I squirted all over him. And he loves it. He would send me dirty texts about it. But I don’t like it. So when I did it with him it was okay, but I was upset at myself so that’s when I got the dildo and trained myself for another three months.

Wait, didn’t you squirt on [name removed]? He told me that.

Yeah.

Yeah, he told me that. He told me that your pussy just blew up and he said it was the wettest one he’s ever had. He said it was soaking wet and so were the sheets.

[Shrugs] That’s probably true. The sheets were wet because we had to wipe off his body. It was like, all over his stomach and chest.

So you’ve finished on a dude’s chest before.

Well, on his cock mainly. But the pressure built up so much that it just blew up on him.

And now you’re with a new guy who you really like…

I haven’t had sex with him.

Have you orgasmed for him yet?

Oh yeah.

How has he gotten you off? How does he make you orgasm? With his fingers?

[Laughing]

How does he make you orgasm? With his fingers!?

I’m not admitting to anything.

It’s okay, I already know.

He can kiss me and I get wet. And then he’ll massage my clit and use his fingers on me.

Geez, how many hands does this guy have!

Uh…you can do all it with the thumb and fingers.

Oh…oh right. So are you like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off one of these days?

[Laughing]

Do you think at this point you want to squirt for him?

No.

Does he know that you used to be a squirter?

Yeah. I’ve told him.

Did you tell him? Or did I tell him?

[Laughter] You actually might have told him.

Do you forsee a day maybe when you’ll drop a load on him?

I mean…if I’m with him for a long time I don’t see why not. I just don’t feel comfortable with it. And like I said, since I’ve controlled it and trained my vagina not to do it…I’d be perfectly content with never doing it again. Because now my orgasms are unlike anything I’ve experienced. And why would I go back to second-rate orgasms?

Do you have any words of encouragement or support for other squirters out there?

As a squirter, it’s every individual’s option whether they’d like to continue it or not. If you constantly have to feel ashamed because of what people say to you…I understand. And there’s ways to train yourself to not do it anymore. But if you enjoy it, and the guy you’re with enjoys it too — or if you’re with a lady who enjoys it too — all the more power to you!

Thanks

You’re welcome

Squirt. Squirt everywhere.

“All My Babies’ Mamas” Reportedly Canceled by Oxygen

2013-01-15T16:34:00.000-05:00

by Dr. Boyce Watkins

Allison Samuels at the Daily Beast is reporting that the Oxygen Network allegedly came to its senses and realized that putting out a show featuring a rapper bragging about having 11 kids with 10 different women might not be so great for their brand. The massive public backlash has hopefully let the network know that there are some people of color who don’t appreciate having our culture mutilated in public with such embarrassing images of familial irresponsibility. Also, Oxygen isn't known for producing this kind of vile programming: insulting black people has always been the job of BET.

Samuels gives credit to various petitions for getting Oxygen to cut the show. She also asks an even more important question: How in the hell did this show concept ever come to be in the first place? She says that it was Oxygen’s insensitivity that likely served as the culprit.

How could a network ever assume that a show about an African-American rapper with 11 kids by 10 women would be OK and not immediately deemed racist? How could it not see that it was offending, insulting, and mocking an entire segment of the African-American community? The answer is pretty simple. The network saw it; the network just didn't care.

Samuels is correct: The beast of capitalism cares nothing for the negative externalities it produces, at least when the victims appear to be as disorganized, docile and powerless as the black community. Corporations are accustomed to black people quietly gulping down large quantities of whatever psychological poison they drop onto our community, and our job is to simply sit back and take it. Oxygen just received the memo, however, that not all of us are addicted to the slave mentality.

"The rise of Shawty Lo to reality TV greatness is mind-boggling, to say the least. No one hates the brother for having so many children. The problem is that there are some of us who grow tired of seeing dysfunction celebrated and marketed by major corporations. As a business school professor, I can tell you that marketing DOES WORK. When an image is presented repeatedly to millions of people, it doesn't take long before that portrayal is embraced by those who see it. Not every black boy is going to run out and get 10 babies’ mamas, but seeing Shawty Lo earn millions from his “little investments” makes this lifestyle look a little more acceptable."

A great example that comes to mind is a conversation I had with a teacher who said that she asked her students to write down their long-term goals. One little girl said that her dream was to grow up and become a Basketball Wife. The child even laid out her strategy to bag an athlete and have a baby with him, since she’s been raised to think that it’s acceptable to define her self-worth based on who she’s had s*x with. From the last I checked, at least half of the so-called “Basketball Wives” have never been married to anyone, so, a better title for the show might be “Basketball Babies’ Mamas.” Apparently, becoming pregnant by a man who runs from house-to-house spreading his seed (and possibly his numerous infections) has become all the rage, at least according to reality TV.

I was proud to see our community’s reaction to “All My Babies’ Mamas.” I am sorry that Shawty Lo won’t be able to pay his child support by marketing his lifestyle to the world, but the truth is that he made his own bed. As we see more and more stories about celebs having serious financial problems due to child support obligations, I hope that brothers will learn that having a bunch of kids with a bunch of women is a great way to end up broke. Bringing so many kids into the world with no means to provide for them is harmful to yourself, your children and your community. We must ask each other to do better.

'Suit & Tie': Justin Timberlake Returns, With Some Help From Jay-Z (AUDIO)

2013-01-14T10:16:00.000-05:00

Days after teasing the entire internet, Justin Timberlake has returned with a new song. "Suit & Tie" features Jay-Z and sounds like a slight update on R. Kelly's older stuff, which means you can step to it if you're so inclined.

"I be on my suit and tie sh-t," Timberlake says at the Timbaland-produced track's start. Jay starts off his verse similarly, boasting about his penchant for wearing "all black at the white shows, white shoes at the black shows."

"I don't want to put anything out that I feel like is something I don't love. You just don't get that every day. You have to wait for it," Timberlake said in a video clip posted Thursday. "I'm ready."

"Suit and Tie" is Timberlake's first track as a lead artist since singles released off 2006's "FutureSex/LoveSounds" album.

Secret keeping seems to come easy in Jay-Z and Beyonce's household. The latter singer shocked the web with "Nuclear," a new Destiny's Child song Thursday, the only original song off the group's upcoming album, "Love Songs."

The song hit iTunes late Sunday night. "Suit and Tie" is the lead single off "The 20/20 Experience," an album Timberlake says will be out "this year."

What do you think of the song? Listen below and let us know in the comments.

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Exclusive: The Cast Of Love & Hip-Hop 3 Debuts In New York City

2013-01-05T12:06:00.000-05:00

Last Updated on Saturday, 5 January 2013 12:05
Written by marvinshadipowers
Saturday, 5 January 2013 12:05

Last night at Kiss-N-Fly in New York City, the cast of Love & Hip-Hop 3 made their debut and unveiled their premiere episode.

Almost the entire cast showed up for the event, which was hosted by the show's creator Mona Scott-Young. With the exception of Olivia Longott, Yandy Smith, Joe Budden, Kaylin Garcia, Tahiry Jose, Erica Mena, Rich Dollaz, Consequence, Jen the Pen, Raqi Thunda, Lore'l, Winter Ramos, and Rashidah Ali all showed up for the event.

After the episode aired for the media members and guests, Hot 97's Laura Styles and J. Medina moderated a Question & Answer segment where they fielded queries from all the involved parties.

The third season of Love & Hip-Hop, which premieres this Monday on January 7th, continues following the love lives of Longott, Mena, Smith and Rich Dollaz while adding on the added drama of the Joe Budden, Kaylin, Tahiry triangle. Former G.O.O.D. Music artist, Consequence also joins the cast as his Muslim faith and his relationship with Jen the Pen causes a rift between the two.

: The Ladies Of Love & Hip Hop NY Season 3

: Watch The Drama Unfold LHHNY3

: Season Premiere LHHNY3

Follow @DirtySoutHipHop On Twitter

::BREAKING NEWS:: Katt Williams Arrested For Child Endangerment

2012-12-29T11:10:00.001-05:00

Katt Williams really wants 2012 to be over more than anyone. According to TMZ, the father of eight children (seven adopted and one biological) is now being held on child endangerment charges.

LAPD cops picked Katt up at his Woodland Hills home this morning, after an investigation from the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services concluded there were numerous guns and illegal drugs in the house that created a safety hazard for the kids.

As of press time Katt was still in jail being held on $100,000 bail and four of his children have been placed in protective custody.

Being a parent is something that Williams has voluntarily made a huge part of his life. Two years ago he released a DVD called “9 Lives” where he talked about being a father and how he came to oversee his own personal Brady Bunch.

“It’s good to be a father. And I didn’t have to go all the way to Africa to find these,” he joked during a late night interview. ” You’d be surprised. There are needy children right down the street.”

Melanie Fiona's Rapper Alter Ego Felony Miona BUSTS A FREESTYLE + John Legend SHOWS OFF His Birthday CAKE

2012-12-29T00:09:00.000-05:00

| by _YBF

Melanie Fiona put down the R&B and broke out in her hip hop alter-ego Felony Miona during a recent interview. Watch her freestyle inside and see John Legend's birthday "cake cake cake...." Fans of Melanie Fiona are well aware that the songstress is a good writer and has some powerful vocal cords, but most may not know that she also has "flow.

During an interview with Vibe.com, Melanie broke out in her hip hop alter ego Felony Miona and hit listeners with a mean freestyle. Folks who've seen Melanie live will recognize her freestyle from her performances of "Runnin'" where she fills in Nas' verse.

Watch Felony Miona break it down here:

Also....

R&B crooner John Legend celebrates his 34th birthday today and he tweeted a pic of a gorgeous piece of musical cake he was presented last night. The delicious square of layered-chocolate cake was topped with milk chocolate music note. Yummy!

Esther Baxter Denies Bow Wow’s Claims She Took His Virginity

2012-12-18T21:17:00.000-05:00

In a very over sharing interview, Bow Wow discussed allegedly losing his virginity at the age of 16 to video model Esther Baxter. He also went on to talk various sexual acts he’s tried, what other celebs he wouldn’t mind boning, and also brought up his baby mama.

Here’s the clip:

Now Ms. Baxter is none too thrilled with what was said about her. She took to Twitter to denounce Bow Wow’s claims, calling it a “ballerific fantasy.” Clearly she’s not as chummy with Shad as Karrine Steffans is.

Esther wrote:

"Do I REALLY have to respond to this sh*t!?! First…you people believe the SILLIEST sh*t!!! Lmao! I thought this sh*t was a joke…but Lil homie ACTUALLY said that sh*t. N*gga really shot for the stars with that one!!! Couldn’t think of anyone else huh!?! It’s cool I know times are hard right now but u should’ve at least let me know so we could BOTH benefit."

"Losing your virginity to EB at 16…damn…that’s a ballerific fantasy bro. Its not the first time & it won’t be the last time a n*gga decide to put my name in some shit…I don’t have time for the foolishness. You have some sh*t to promote do that sh*t WITHOUT putting my damn name in some nonsense. #Done #NothingElseToSay #ByeBoy."

Welp.

T.I. & Detroit Lion Ndamukong Suh Play Santa’s Helpers At Children’s Hospital

2012-12-14T18:08:00.000-05:00

We love feel good stories, especially during the holiday season. And here’s one to warm your hearts. Rapper T.I. and Detroit Lion Ndamukong Suh visited Children’s Hospital of Michigan in Detroit to pass out presents to ailing young children. The pair linked up with Radio One 107.5 personality Big Greg to give gifts in connect with Radio One’s Hot Toy Box initiative.

T.I., Suh and Greg brought holiday cheer and distributed toys donated by Radio One loyal listeners. Over one hundred families from the Children’s Hospital of Michigan stood in line to meet the celebrities, get a hug and take photos and every patient left with a toy to help make his or her holiday just a bit brighter.

Such a great way to give back to the community! That’s a great look!

Life Lines :: Seven of Hip-Hop’s Best Biographical Tracks

2012-12-02T13:01:00.000-05:00

by Shad Reed (@Shad1424) November 30th, 2012 @ 12:18pm

Biography books are frequently best sellers. Biopics are huge box office draws. There’s The E! “True Hollywood Story” and “Behind the Music” on television. In fact, an entire cable network is even called the Biography Channel. People are fascinated by other people’s life stories – and Hip-Hop is no exception.

In rap’s rich history, there are just as many original stories as there are people to tell them. Therefore, AllHipHop.com has compiled a list of biographical tracks that surpass self-indulgence and provide vivid accounts of personal events, masterfully capture moments in time, and tap into human emotions that many can relate to.

Here is AllHipHop.com’s compilation of 7 tracks that made rappers re-think the way that they told their own stories:
7). “Outta Here” (1993) by KRS-One: Only KRS could reference I Dream of Jeannieover a DJ Premier-produced bass line and still come off as cool as a fan. The second cut on KRS’ first solo offering, taken as a whole though, tells his life story. From falling in love with Hip-Hop to battling in a shelter to the murder of DJ Scott La Rock, it’s all here. In other words, if KRS-One is the Teacha, these are are the subjects that went on his syllabus first.

6). “Neva Have 2 Worry” (2008) by Snoop Dogg: The song has Snoop breaking down his career into three stages. Using a spoken-word flow, he talks about his time with Death Row, stay at No Limit, and realization of his iconic status. But the record packs its most powerful punch near the end of the first verse (The one up above didn’t like my pace/I was movin’ too fast, and I caught that case/I fought that case, wonder where the West would be if I’da lost that case).

5). “Last Real N***a Alive” (2002) by Nas: Nas is one of rap’s greatest storytellers and this is a prime example of why. In detail that rivals a screenplay, he discusses his ascent in Hip-Hop and touches on his connections to New York’s Hip-Hop elite. And in one final remark on the Ron Browz-produced track (who also produced “Ether”), Nas puts the nail in Jay-Z’s coffin as far as their battle is concerned by referring to himself as Scarface and Jay-Z as Manolo.

4). “December 4th” (2003) by Jay-Z: With an appearance by Jay-Z’s mother, there is a very personal touch added to an already personal record. Considering The Black Album was also billed as Jay’s last LP, the fact that the album starts with a story that begins with his birth and ends with him fading to black makes for some epic sh*t! And he knew it too, that’s probably why it was his closing number at his Madison Square Garden “retirement” concert in November of 2003.

3). “Intro” (1994) by The Notorious B.I.G.: A greater album introduction has yet to be done. The way each “scene” is time-stamped with popular music of the time period is brilliant. And when coupled with dialogue depicting various points in Biggie’s life, there was no question about who he was or where he was coming from. Biggie demonstrated immediately on his debut that he was a master storyteller, and hadn’t even rapped a single bar on it yet.

2). “Last Call” (2004) by Kanye West: Despite being placed at the end of a song, instead of appearing as a stand-alone track, the autobiographical monologue that closes out The College Dropout is one of the greatest outros in Hip-Hop history. Kanye’s story and struggle is told proving that he worked hard for his spot and overcame the odds. Unfortunately, he hasn’t sounded that humble or human since.

1). “The Story” (2005) by Bun B: This song is one verse with no hook and clocks in at just shy of six-minutes in length. It is one of Bun’s best records ever and chronicles his rise to fame alongside Pimp C, who was then incarcerated, as UGK in great detail. Tragically, two years after Pimp C’s release from prison, he died. But thankfully, he did live long enough to hear his friend and partner-in-rhyme share their story with the world.

Back ON :: The Saga Of Joseline And Steebie Continues

2012-11-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

By: Elizabeth Black (@lizburrito)

Last night, half the world (at least the world we inhabit) was busy watching Liz And Dick on Lifetime, but we decided to avoid that train wreck and instead concentrate on that other never-ending saga known as the relationship of Joseline and Stevie J.

Last week it looked like the pair might be over for good, after Joseline posted a series of tweets condemning Steebie’s behavior and treatment of her and saying “I’m done with the madness, my career comes first.” She and her “daddy” exchanged some heated words and it sounded like the end of an era. But no. Last night, she posted several photos and tweets about her night with Stevie in New York City — judging from the shot above, they’re very much back together.

She also posted the following tweet to those fans who question her loyalty to her man:

Once again, this mythical, magical relationship never fails to keep us on our toes. They really are the Liz and Dick of our time. At least in the Twitterverse.

[Photo: Twitter]

WTF Were They Thinking? Celeb Sneaker FAILS

2012-11-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

Prodigy of Mobb Deep is the latest rapper to garner a sneaker deal for Supra. He is set to design a limited edition shoe, called “Infamous X Supra Bandit” as well as a complete line of customized boots. Who knows how well his shoes will do, or even what they will look like, but there a few rappers rappers, past and present, who didn’t quite make the mark with their failed sneaker lines.

Xzibit – DaDa Spinner III

First of all, who gave Xzibit a sneaker deal? Being the host of Pimp My Ride does not mean footwear needs to have spinners too. And these are the Spinner III. Does that mean there were two more of these? I hope the first two came in hoopty and Escalade form.

Master P – “B-Ball” for Converse

Yes, these made us say UGH! Converse gave Master P a shot after he was signed to the Charlotte Hornets, but thankfully for us these sneakers barely made it off the bench.

Nelly – “Derrty One” for Reebok

We don’t think Nelly realized that “derrty” never caught on, so these sneakers were destined to be a fail from the start.

Soulja Boy for Yums

These yums left a bad taste in our mouth just from the look.

Rick Ross for Pony

We don’t know what’s worse, Rick Ross once being signed to Slip N’ Slide or having his face all over a shoe. Nothing came from either deal, and the sneaker was never released. Your feet thank you.

Birdman – “The Birdman” for Lugz

Who admitted to wearing these? For every Birdman handrub, a toe lost it’s feeling if someone wore these shoes. Tragic.

Kimora Lee Simmons Breaks Silence And Confirms Split From Djimon Hounsou

2012-11-25T22:36:00.000-05:00

Earlier this year around June rumors started to emerge that happy couple Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou were separated. At the time, representatives for both commented that the rumors were untrue and that Djimon was working on a film, thus his relocation elsewhere. But this past Wednesday a representative for Djimon confirmed that the couple has been split for some time and last night Kimora took to Twitter to speak on it.

"There have been quite a few hurtful rumors circulating. The truth is Djimon+I have been separated for some time. We have remained happy, loving, co-parenting friends+family. We all have much to be thankful for.#HappyThanksgiving"

While Kimora and Djimon were never married, they did have a commitment ceremony back in 2008. About a year later, they had a son named Kenzotogether, with Kimora already having daughters Ming Lee and Aoki Lee from her marriage with Russell Simmons. When a fan on Twitter commented about how something like this can cause people to not see the value in marriage, Kimora commented that this only shows how she is no different that anyone else and we all just try to do the best we can. Great words to remember.

Are Men w/Big Asses a Turn-On?

2012-11-25T10:00:00.000-05:00

MS. CAKEMAN RAVEN

For me personally, a big MUSCULAR booty can be something of a turn on. I'm thinking of some of those baseball stars. But a big ol' sloppy booty is just bad though. But even sometimes those muscular jawns can be too much. Case in point, track star Tyson Gay. He gotta DONK!!! No bueno. An ass like that is not something I associate with a man. It's not even about being feminine as much as it is just not the Pow Bang Boom Adonis physique.

MS. INDIFFERENT

Honestly, I’ve never paid all that much attention. I don't really care either way, but I would imagine that a man with a particularly large butt would seem a bit fem. But he'd probably have to have a huge butt and a tiny waist for it to even register on my radar of things to be picky about. I'd imagine for men, women with big butts are a turn-on because (beyond just the visual) that extra cushion on a woman makes a difference during sex... With men it really wouldn’t mater if they have a big butt or not unless there’s some position I never heard of.

MS. MODEL CITIZEN

It's a turn off. Your butt shouldn't be bigger than mine, even if I don't have something that looks like Tahiry. It's a bit flamboyant for my taste, and it makes me laugh. So I'd be the one sitting there laughing on our date and he would have no idea why. BUT I do want it to be muscular and round like Tyson Beckford! That boy can get it.

MS. BETSY ICE

A big booty brother, no. One with a nice, round, firm backside akin to a runner or football player, yes. It is a turn on; there's something sexy about watching a man with a nice derriere walk. Plus, it's a great stopper. It's hard to classify a man's backside as feminine since there's not much he can do about it (outside of surgery), save not wear super tight trousers or jeans. If he's effeminate, it's more than just the size of his booty.

MS. HIPS DON’T LIE

A man with a nice tush is cool. What I mean by nice is round and firm like he's fit and in shape. But if it’s superbly round as if he's seen some backshot action that's sketchy. And he can not...and I repeat CAN NOT have hips also. It’s a case by case situation but I’m a grabber so I like to have some cheek meat for the heat of the moment.

MS. NO OPTION

All I can think of is the episode of Girlfriends when Joan was dating a guy with hips. All her girls were clowning her, saying he needed a girdle. A man with a big booty is absolutely a turn off. It's not attractive. I don't want to date a guy whose butt is bigger than mine. It's an aesthetic thing. I don't want to call it feminine, but just say no to men with big butts.

MS. DANGEROUS CURVES

I'm not particularly into BIG booties on boys but round and defined is nice. A flat or sloppy ass is no good for men or women. Many tones make feature an indent/muscle marking the place where the leg and ass/ meet—that's sexy. A nice firm handful to hold onto is nice, it's the men with side curvage that look feminine. Hips in a suit and tie don't work.

MS. BALL BUSTER

A big butt on a man is one of the most emasculating characteristics on a man. My man has to have the least fat as possible in that area. Or at least feel uncomfortable about. I shudder at the thought of any man embracing a big butt.

MS. CULTURAL DIVIDE

Nope I don't find it attractive at all. Yes, it’s because it's a bit too feminine for me but I do have friends who like it but they’re mostly White women and they think a juicy butt is attractive so it could potentially be a cultural thing.

MS. JIGGLES

Absolutely not! Big butts often come accompanied by big hips and that is a definite turn off. It just feels too feminine and makes the man look like he has a switch when he walks. Do not want to see a man's butt jiggling. I should be the only one jiggling!

Speak your piece…

10 Signs of a Good Woman

2012-11-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

Think about the little things that men pick up on about women and subconsciously check off in their signs of a great woman list. Of course, a great body and pretty face help us poor visually-stimulated creatures, but there are plenty of non-physical factors that I tend to take note of in a good woman and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that mental checklist. So here are a few observations—in no particular order—of how a female can earn brownie points with me, and probably many other men.

10) COMPLEMENTS - The most important sign of a good woman is complements. No, not compliments with an “i” as in you look good or have the biggest Johnson in town, but complements with an “e.” Someone that just makes you a better man. She complements your flaws and completes you. I'm talking about that X factor where the chemistry is just there and when she's around you feel that you can do anything. She's your lover, your confidante, and ultimately your friend.

9) SUPPORTIVE - When times are hard even the strongest man needs someone to lean on. So a woman that can step up when you least expect it is a definite plus, because you need that female (well, people in general) in your life that are willing to help out without you even asking. One of boys threw a house party one time and had mad people over. As the night was winding down, I noticed there were a handful of sisters that stepped up and started cleaning the kitchen and putting food away for him. He wasn't dating any of them, they were just people that came to the party like me, but recognized that my homeboy would be up all night cleaning the mess up by himself and just did what needed to be done. Each one of those sisters showed the level of their character and displayed distinct signs of being good women.

8) THE CAR DOOR TEST - This is the classic test from Bronx Tale. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll remember when Sonny schooled Calogero, aka C, on how to gauge a good girl after you open up the car door for her and let her in: “If you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window and she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her. Cause that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.” This one is a rare to enforce nowadays with automatic locks and me without a car, but if it's applicable, a chick that does leans over to do that shows her unselfishness and what she’s willing to do for her man.

7) SHARES HER FOOD - If you haven't noticed by now, unselfishness is a common theme here. So any woman that exhibits signs of being giving, from her time to her grub, has the potential of being a good woman in my book. In regards to food, I've seen that happen in the reverse where one person refused to share a small portion of their meal with their date, and in my mind that registered as, "she/he is really selfish and doesn't truly care as deeply about the other person as they should." I think there was a scene inThe Brothers where one of the female characters judged how much a man was into them by seeing if he was willing to part with the last bite of his meal. Sharing is caring.

6) COOKS/CATERS - There's just something about a woman that can cook. Not saying she has to be Martha Stewart of the kitchen, but to the old adage of the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach often rings true (well, for the most part). While not a 100% tried and true rule, for the most part, a woman that can cook can keep her man happy at home. But the real bonus of this sign is the woman that is willing to cook for you when you’re sick. One time I was bedridden for a week, and while my mom and friends dropped off food and made store runs for me, this one sister came through and cooked a full meal for me from scratch. Definitely a good look that was greatly appreciated, and showed the heart of a person that would be there for you no matter what.

5) THOUGHTFULNESS/REALLY LISTENING - This one is a no-brainer. I always hear of girls (and guys) trying to go all out with a gift or over the top outing, but much like the other things in this post, there are plenty of small gestures that go a long way. A woman that actually listens to her partner (guys, this goes for you too) means a lot. But I’m not just talking about listening to what someone says and commenting, but taking note of key things in the conversation and making them a reality. For instance, there was a time I was conversing with this sister I was seeing about wanting to build my wine connoisseurship so she went out and bought me a wine tasting book. Not only was that a thoughtful and inexpensive gift (in a good way), it showed that she really listened to things I cared about and was proactive.

4) A WARM WASH CLOTH AFTER...YOU KNOW - Nothing makes a man feel better than a woman, especially one with a warm washcloth. Come on, we've all been there after a nice hot and sweaty sex session and you find yourself just glued to the bed. Most sisters are just focused on the after-sex cuddle or the next round, but there are those few special ones that get up to go to the bathroom and return with a nice warm washcloth to wipe you down. Key word here is warm, NOT cold. It’s a subtle and sweet gesture of a woman catering to her man (or lover) that goes a long way.

3) MAKING THE BED - Personally, I hate making my bed. I live alone and am just gonna mess it up when I get back home, so I don't really see the point. The only time I really do is if I’m trying to impress a potential new visitor or I just changed the sheets. So nothing surprises me more than to come out of the shower (or kitchen) and return to find my bed made. Half the time, the sister done fixed up my bed so damn good that I don't even wanna get back in it for fear of messing up her fine handy work. Maybe my mama didn’t teach me the right techniques, but I’ve seen some females put some smooth creases in them sheets—plus, they seem to get a kick out of fluffing pillows.

2) WASHING DISHES - No, I’m not talking about the caveman mentality of me-man-and-women-must-do-housework kinda dishwashing. I'm speaking of scenarios where I just made dinner (or breakfast, if I'm lucky) and a woman takes it upon herself to get up and wash the dishes of her own free accord. Again, even a simple offer to do so can earn her brownie points, too. I know that I often do the same thing when I’m at a lady friend’s house for dinner. In fact, there was a time I did that for a chick I was really feeling and we didn’t even eat. I just happened to notice she had dishes in the sink and washed them just because.

,,,, and the #1 sign she just may be a good woman is:

1) OFFERING TO LEAVE THE TIP - I know some of my younger and more frugal male peers may say otherwise, but nine times out of ten, I expect to pay my date’s way when we go out. It’s just how I was raised. Even still, the key word here is expect. There’s nothing wrong with a woman that at least offers to leave the tip, or does a trade off and offers to pay for the movie while I pay for dinner. Even if pride won’t allow me to accept (sometimes), just that simple gesture is enough to show me that this woman is a considerate individual and conscious of a brother's economics and not just looking for a free meal so she can save up for a new pair of shoes. NOTE: She has to make this offer on multiple occasions, not just the first date, for the gesture to officially register in my book. Otherwise, I’ll just assume you read this and figured you could front on the first date.

**Fellas, I hope you know that this list goes both ways, and ladies, I hope y’all were listening and taking notes.**

When Victims Become The ATTACKER :: Evelyn, FIX Your Own Life

2012-11-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

I’ve spent the past two nights watching Evelyn Lozada’s interview with life coach guru Iyanla Vanzant. Going into the two-part premiere of Iyanla, Fix My Life I gave it a bit of side-eye. Before Evelyn and Chad Johnson aka Ocho Cinco butted heads—literally—a few weeks ago I’m sure this would have just been a one-day airing. But given the drama, it makes sense for OWN to milk the drama for all it’s worth.

Needless to say I was skeptical about what I would see and if it would change my perception of Ms.Johnson Lozada, who has made her bread and butter as a reality TV bully. The jury is still out on that one but I definitely gained appreciation for Vanzant and her brand of tough love. But that’s a subject for another time.

While I’m all for Evelyn (or any person like her) getting right within, I’m always a bit skeptical when the path to righteousness comes with a camera crew. Since allegations came out of Chad’s domestic abuse came out we’ve primarily only heard Evelyn’s side of the story. To the best of knowledge, Chad has remained out of the papers. Sure he’s tweeted and gotten tattoos but his public relations movements have been minimal.

I can’t say the same for Evelyn. She’s told her side, positioned herself as a domestic violence advocate/survivor and recorded a new interview with Vanzant for her show’s debut.

Now let me be 100% clear so this isn’t misconstrued in any way, shape or form: I’m not saying that any of the above diminishes Evelyn’s claims of abuse. Because there’s no excuse for a man putting his hands (or head) on a woman outside of restraining someone for both of their physical safety. On the flip side, there should be no passes given to a woman for hitting a man either. But I’ve seen a familiar pattern when it comes to cases like this. It becomes her word versus his and hers tends to be the loudest.

We’ve seen it with Rihanna and Chris Brown. K. Michelle and MempHitz. And now with Evelyn and Chad. The women tell their story, while the men, for the most part, remain silent. At the end of the day, I get it. What can a guy that’s accused of domestic violence really say? “Oh, I only hit her a little bit.” “She started it.” “I didn’t mean to whoop her ass.” Whatever the “excuse” for laying hands on a woman it never sounds cool. Even in a case where the woman may have truly been the aggressor, it’s not an excuse that’ll fly in the court of public opinion.

At the end of the day, you’re a man and she’s a woman, end of story. It’s not a case of an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth. It’s more like you have to turn the other cheek and just grin and bear it.

I’m going to go out on a limb and just say that something that we, the general public, will never know happened that night when Chris Brown and Rihanna got into their scuffle. I’ll call it the Mike Tyson theory in that you don’t bite someone unless you’re losing a fight. Again, I’m not saying that what Chris did to Rihanna was right in any way, but there’s something in the chain of events of that night that just doesn’t add up. Yeah, Chris has proven himself to be a hothead but I feel like there was some unknown trigger that caused him to blackout. Now what that was is something that only the occupants of that car will likely ever know as Rihanna continues to tell her side of the story, while Chris remains silent. That’s not to say he’s innocent or absolved from fault for his actions that night, but I feel like there’s some blood (metaphorically speaking) on Rihanna’s hands too.

Now as for Evelyn and Chad, I see a similar scenario. We’ve all seen Evelyn’s bullying onBasketball Wives and while that doesn’t mean she deserves to get assaulted by a man or woman, it does make people question her role in the domestic dispute. In her interview with Vanzant, though, she adamantly denies ever raising a finger to Chad and actually admitted that the fact that people look to her public persona as a sign of guilt hurt her feelings.

Still, as Vanzant pointed out several times, Evelyn’s violent behavior is all we see so it’s what we expect and what has dominated her life. Again, that doesn’t mean she deserves what happened to her but there’s some blood (metaphorically speaking) on her hands, too.

There’s a big difference between being a victim and simply playing one. I’m not at liberty to make an informed decision on where Evelyn (Rihanna or K. Michelle) stands in that scenario. All I can go on is what I’ve seen and heard, but it’s hard to get a clear picture when you only hear one side of the story. It leaves me to wonder what happens when victims become attackers through the media.

Speak your piece…

7 Slept-On Male R&B Artist {90's & EARLY 2000's}

2012-11-24T03:53:00.001-05:00

Iwoke up the other morning in an R&B mood. I just couldn’t get this one song out of my head. I wound up grabbing my trusty Android and Googled the track on YouTube so I could listen to it in the shower and get my bathroom acoustics on. But I digress…

The whole experience reminded me of several of my favorite male R&B artists from the 90s and early 2000s that never got a fair shake. Despite their talents and hits, their place in the general public’s psyche has waned over the years. In fact, most that came to mind for me would rarely top anyone’s greatest of all-time list. I’m not saying that these brothers are G.O.A.T.s but in my humble opinion they deserve their fair shake somewhere alongside the Maxwells and D’Angelos of the world.

Without further ado, here are my personal picks for top slept-on male R&B artists from the ’90s and early 2000s.

7. GLENN LEWIS

Maybe it’s because he hailed from Toronto long before Drake made it cool to be, but Glenn Lewis’ name rings few bells in the when mentioned. Inspired by Stevie Wonder, he carried a tone quite similar to the living legend. In fact, in 2002 he released Conception: A Tribute to Stevie Wonder that included a stirring rendition of “Superstition.” Lewis' debut album, World Outside My Window featured a few hidden gems such as “Don’t You Forget It” and “It’s Not Fair.”

6. DAVE HOLLISTER

Like most, I first got put on to Dave Hollister when he was singing lead for Teddy Riley’s Backstreet. (“Before I Let You Go” will forever be one of my favorite jams of all time.) But little did I know that Dave had been putting in vocal work previously on classic tracks like 2Pac’s “Brenda Got a Baby” and “Keep Ya Head Up.” Eventually Hollister went solo and dropped the underground classic Ghetto Hymns, which included “My Favorite Girl.” Other highlights on his track record are “One Woman Man” and “Baby Mama Drama.”

5. CARL THOMAS

Being signed to Bad Boy, which was one of the biggest labels at one time, I can see some folks saying Carl Thomas isn’t necessarily slept-on, but, then again, he was signed to Bad Boy, which has a revolving door roster where few get shine outside of Puff Daddy Diddy. Hands down, though, Emotional was one of the best all-around R&B albums to come out in 2000. Spearheaded by the heartfelt “I Wish,” the album was chockfull of joints and jams that still stand the test of time like “Emotional” and “Summer Rain.”

4. CASE

While made his debut as one of Def Soul’s emerging hip-hop singers, complete with a single featuring Foxy Brown and Mary J. Blige 1996’s “Touch Me, Tease Me,” his true talent lied in ballads. I could rattle off a list of his timeless anthems, but I’ll just leave it at “Happily Ever After,” “Missing You” and “Faded Pictures” featuring my man Joe. I’m willing to bet that many a babies were made or couples were married to these songs.

3. DONELL JONES

This man got me in trouble. After my breakup with my college girl and I was explain my feelings to a friend of mine she told me that what I was going through sounded like this song from a new singer named Donell Jones. The song of course was “Where I Wanna Be” and my decision to put it on my voicemail post-breakup was a major faux pas on my part. Despite the drama with the ex, Donell’s catalog can not be denied (i.e. “You Know What’s Up,” “Have You Seen Her” and “I Wanna Luv U.”)

2. JOE

I was the biggest Stan for Joe in college. As an emo-dude looking for love in all the wrong places, his sophomore album, All That I Am, spoke my life in song. “All the Things (Your Man Won’t Do),” “Don’t Wanna Be a Player,” “You Shoulda Told Me (U Had a Man),” “All That I Am,” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13tIBFocXYU …Basically the entire album holds a special place in my heart. As a result Joe can do no wrong in my eyes, although none of his subsequent music has held up to my memories of this disc.

1. MUSIQ SOULCHILD

Hands down, I think the most slept-on R&B artists is Musiq Soulchild. Sure, a lot of his albums sounded the same but that didn’t stop the content from being strong. From his 2000 debut Aijuswanaseing (“Love,” “Seventeen,” “Girl Next Door”) to Juslisen (“Halfcrazy,” “Previouscats,” “Time”) to Soulstar(“Forthenight,” “Womanopoly,” “Thereason”), Musiq is the inspiration for this entire list. He’s consistent and slept-on. #NuffSaid

Who do you think is the most slept-on male R&B artists from the ’90s and early 2000s? Who do you think should be added to the list?

Speak your piece…

Honorable mentions Avant, Chico DeBarge, Jon B., Lyfe Jennings