Pagadianon Quotes Collection

1 panget na babe, hinoholdap

2012-01-18T02:49:00.001-08:00

Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...

2012-01-18T02:48:00.001-08:00

Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: oo doc! puta pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!

2012-01-18T02:47:00.003-08:00

Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang

2012-01-18T02:47:00.001-08:00

Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: pare ako nanalo!

2012-01-18T02:46:00.002-08:00

BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama

2012-01-18T02:46:00.000-08:00

Mom: baby, you're good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!

Tagalog Pick Up Lines

2012-01-18T01:51:00.001-08:00

Bagay sa yo maging Amo …..
Inalila mo kasi ang puso ko…
Sana posporo ka… at posporo din ako….
Para match tayo!!!

Ahhh… excuse me Miss!… Troso ka ba?…
Kasi, gusto kitang sibakin! ..

Hospital ka ba? ….
May heart complication kasi ako.. Either I C U or U C me ..

“Sana exam mo nalang ako, para sagutin mo din ako.”

“Kung ibibigay ko ba sa yo ang manibela ng puso ko, ibabangga mo sa pader ng kabiguan?”

“Bastos ka rin no? Di ka man lang nagpapaalam tuloy-tuloy kang pumasok sa puso ko!”

“Google ka ba? Lahat kasi ng hinahanap ko, sa iyo ko natagpuan eh!”

tok! tok! tok! Pwede ba akong pumasok sa buhay mo?

Miss! langit na ba to? para ka kasing anghel.

Redhorse ka ba? ang lakas kasi ng tama ko sayo eh

Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard? type kasi kita eh

alam mo bang exam ako? kaya sagutin mo na ko

kung bola ka at ako ang player, masho-shoot ba kita? hindi! kasi lagi kitang namimiss

Uy! papicture naman tayo oh? para madevelop tayo sa isa't isa.

Surgeon ka ba? kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko.

Marimar, kaw ba yan? pwede ba akong maging sergio ng buhay mo?

“Steady ka ba? Gusto kitang galawin eh.”

“Parang kang tae; hindi kita kayang paglaruan.”

“Dalawa lang ang pwedeng mangyari. Either magmurahan tayo o magmahalan tayo. So ano?”

“Hindi ko alam ang katapusan ng universe, pero alam ko, ang simula, U N I.”

“Nakalimutan ko pangalan mo eh. Puwede bang tawagin nalang kitang AKIN?”

“Nakalunok ka ba ng kuwitis? Kasi pag ngumiti ka…may spark!”

Ang buhay ko parang nakasakay sa seesaw…
Kasi pag wala ka, Down ako! ..

Kung bola ka, at ako ang player.. Maso-shoot ba kita? …
Hindi. Kasi lagi kitang ma-mi-miss! …

Uhhmmm.. race track ka ba? …
Ang ganda ng curves mo!

Santol Og Durian

2012-01-18T01:50:00.003-08:00

What fruit describes a woman sex organ?

Ans. Durian

Why?

Smells like hell but taste like heaven

And how about for men?

Ans. Santol

Why?

Lami Supsupon peru lisod tunlon !

Haha

Letter C

2012-01-18T01:50:00.001-08:00

Many people are now obsessed with the letter "C"

-cellphone
-computer
-credit card
-car
-condo
-career

But don't forget to reflect on the real meaning of "C"

-CHRIST
who can give everything we need and desire in life..

Very Wise Words

2012-01-18T01:49:00.005-08:00

"Do not ask the lord

to guide your steps

If you're not even

willing to move your feet"

Lord Thank You

2012-01-18T01:49:00.003-08:00

Lord , thank you for

true people who enrich

my life and make it

meaningful by their friendship.

Let them live under your

care and bless them always.

A blessed year

2012-01-18T01:49:00.001-08:00

A blessed year,

A relaxed mind,

A peaceful soul,

A healthy body,

A loving heart,

And answered prayers

These are my best wishes

for you and your family

Happy New Year !

To the person i hurt

2012-01-18T01:48:00.005-08:00

To the person that i hurt

this year through my

words,text,acts and etc.

I humbly ask your forgiveness,

I'm just a human committing mistakes

For those who accept me who i am,

thank you so much.

I'm so happy that I'm part of your

journey in life in just a little time.

By next year another journey

in life GOD gave us,hope nothing

will change in the relationship that

we share this year..Happy New Year !

2011 wouldn't have this

2012-01-18T01:48:00.003-08:00

2011 wouldn't have this colorful and

fun without you.

So before we take our steps

for the next year,

Let me thank you for all the

happy months we shared this year.

Let me apologize for the occurrence

of misunderstanding between us.

Let me tell you that i really

appreciate your presence in my life.

Thank you so much for being

part of my 2011 and hoping you'll

still be part of my 2012 :)

I want to kiss you

2012-01-18T01:48:00.001-08:00

I want to kiss you on December 31

first from 11:59pm to 12:01am

so I can have a great ending to 2011

and an amazing beggining for 2012 :)

Year 2012 is coming

2012-01-18T01:47:00.003-08:00

Year 2012 is coming but before

year 2011 ends,

let me thank all the good people

like you,

who made 2011 beautiful for me.

I pray that you'll be blessed with

faithful year ahead.I wish you a

Fantastic January

Lovable February

Marvelous March

Foolish April

Enjoyable May

Successful June

Wonderful August

Powerful September

Tastier November

Happiest December

Have a VICTORIOUS Year Ahead

I hope i'm the first person to wish

you happy 12 months of coming year 2012.

Ang Malabong Relasyon

2012-01-18T01:47:00.001-08:00

Ang Malabong

Relasyon ay parang..

Holding hands

pilit mong hinahawakan

ng mahigpit ang kamay

nya habang sya pla..

"Hinihintay nalang na bumitaw ka"

Its Crazy to love someone

2012-01-18T01:44:00.003-08:00

Its Crazy to love someone

who avoids you right?

But its even crazier to think

that someone who avoids you ..

Secretly love you .. :))

A sad qoutes

2012-01-18T01:44:00.001-08:00

A guy and his family went to

the beach..as they arrived,

he noticed an old woman sitting

at the shore..

hours went by, its already

midnight..the woman still

sitting there..he approached

her and said

"Nay, Sino po kasama nyo?"

"Mga anak ko apo, pero punta

lang daw sila trabaho tapos

balikan ako pag uwi."

"Maghahatinggabi na po nay,

sigurado po kayo babalik sila.?"

"Oo apo..hindi nila ako

pababayaan..may iniwang sulat sakin

pero di ko mabasa."

his tears feel as he read the letter:

"Kung sino man makakita sa

matandang to, dalhin niyo nalang siya

sa home for the aged. Salamat

Lola:"Apo, wag kanang Umiyak.

"Nasa laugh at loud ka sa ABS-CBN

kaway ka sa camera dali..

aha ha ha :))

If you need someone

2012-01-18T01:43:00.003-08:00

If you need someone who

stand beside you to take

care of you and to love you

ask me..

ilalapit kita sa DSWD doon

maalagaan ka ng husto..

haha :))

Makaon ng Shit

2012-01-18T01:43:00.001-08:00

Bunso: Te makaon ng shit?
Ate: dili man dong,asa pud ka nakadungog ana?
Bunso: nakadungog man gud ko gabie kamu
duha sa imu uyab ingon ka, "Ahh! Shit Kalami

haha :))

Hubog Nangihi

2012-01-18T01:42:00.003-08:00

"Hubog Nangihi.nakit an sa dalaga."

Dalaga: Halaka! kadaghan sa bolbol,
kagamay sa oten.

Hubog: Unsa man diay imong gusto
daghan ug oten usa ray bolbol?pagsure oi!

haha :))

Bata Mipalit

2012-01-18T01:42:00.001-08:00

Bata: ayo palit daw ko

Tindera: unsa imo?

Bata:: Juice daw, kanang
Litro pack!

Tindera: ok, Kanang powder no?

Bata: kay ngano?naay bareta?

haha :))

Nangutana sa time

2012-01-18T01:41:00.001-08:00

Boy: Ms. pwede mag-ask?
Unsa nay time?

Girl: mag-ask ka unsa nay tym?
tas mag-ask dayun ka sako name?
tas mangayu dayun kag #?
tas maguyab daun ka?
tas after 1 month pakipot
sug2n ra daun tka?
tas manghagad dayun kag date?
tas dad-on dayun q nmu bsag asa?
tas nay mahitabo n2?
tas mabuntis dayun ko?
tas magpakasal ta?
Kulatahun ra daun ko nmu?

Di q muingon oi!

Boy: Whooa! Grabi ka advance ba anang reloha..

haha :))