Paisa Points

The Signs Will Make You More Paisa

2013-12-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

The Signs Will Make You More Paisa

If you write a sign using something that looks like a magic marker, you get 5,000 paisa points
If you are selling a hotel without listing it, you get 1,000 paisa points
If you do not know how to write 12 million in your own native language, you get 10,000 paisa points
If you do not read your own sign, you get 5,000 paisa points
If the hotel you are selling is next to a house covered in metal fencing, you get 50,000 paisa points
If you correct your "magic marker" sign by adding a tiny "s" at the end of an already poorly spelled word, you get 50,000 paisa points.
Finally, if people read your sign and they think that you are selling your hotel for 2 sexual favors, you get 100,000 paisa points.

Total paisa points: 221,000

Stay tuned for next year's renewed page!!!

Paisa Scooter Gas Tank

2010-12-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

If you use a scooter to haul a trailer, you get 1,000 Paisa Points.

If you used an empty gallon of shampoo as a gas tank for your scooter, you get 2,000 Paisa Points.

If you ride on a trailer pulled by a scooter, you get 5,000 paisa points.

If you fixed your van's tail light by using scotch tape, you get 3,000 Paisa Points.

If you decide to go on vacation and you manage to take a a picture of three scooters, one that is hauling a trailer and has a paisa gas tank, and a van patched up with scotch tape, your vacation destination gets 3,000 Paisa Points

We are coming back very soon!

2010-04-24T22:26:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I know you all thought we were gone for good. Well for reasons we are not allowed to discuss we did not publish any more updates in our page.

Today we are announcing that the Paisa Points are back. Starting Wednesday April 28, Paisa Points makes its official comeback. We will try not to disappoint.

Paisa Shopping

2009-02-17T20:40:00.001-07:00

If you think that riding a wheel chair makes you a motorist... 1000 paisa points
If you take your wheel chair to the drive thru... 5000 paisa points
If you have a oxygen tank behind your wheel chair while on line at the drive thru... 5000 paisa points
If you are smoking while on you oxygen tank... 11000 paisa points and 8000 stupid points
If all you are buying is a small bottle of "Thunder Bird" ... 1000 paisa points
If you never worked at a liquor store and you know what "Thunder Bird" is.... 4000 paisa points 10000 drunk points

Paisa Seafood

2009-01-19T08:55:00.001-07:00

This was shared in and email.

If you shape your hot dogs like octopuses.... 5000 paisa points
If you eat hot dogs with your macaroni and cheese... 1000 paisa points
If you are disappointed that go get your hot dogs and they are not shaped like octopuses... 1000 paisa points
If you go to the supermarket and you ask for these kind of octopuses... 1000 paisa points
If you just figured out that these are not really octopuses 10,000 paisa points

Paisa in Denial

2008-12-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

This is how Domincans come from the beach.

If you ride a motorcycle with chacletas (slippers) you get... 5000 paisa points (500 if it is a bicycle)

If you are a man and you wear Daisy Dukes in public you get ... 85,000 paisa points
If you do not wear a shirt while riding your motorcycle you get... 6000 paisa points

If your lady has to hold on to your "lonjas" ... you get 50,000 paisa points

Paisa Hearse

2008-12-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

This whole picture gets 100,000 paisa points.

Paisa Calendar

2008-12-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

I am sorry, but if you have calendar given to you by "Paisano Barber Shop" you get 5000 paisa points
If you are a proud owner of a 2009 Paisano Barber Shop calendar you get 5000 paisa points
If your Paisa calendar has May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) in red as a holiday and each of the Latinamerican country's independence days...1500 paisa points
If you use your Paisa calendar to track the of all the award shows in Univision like: "Furia Musical"and "Premios lo Nuestro"... 6000 paisa points

Dominican Paisa Chancleta

2008-12-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

If you were ever spanked with a "Chancleta Samurai" (seen in the picture at the right, the darker ones) you get 100 paisa points for each time.
If you own or owned a "Chancleta Samurai" you get 1000 paisa points fo each pair you ever owned.
If you ever broke your chancletas and you used and hot rod to poke holes in order to saw it back together... you ge 5000 paisa points.
If you a proficient in the technique of chancleta throwing and you can hit a US president from 1000 yard... you get 5000 paisa points
If you bought a knock-off "Chancleta Samurai", you know, the cheaper version of the original (seen on the right the lighter color chancleta)... you get 1000 paisa points per pair.
If you ever went to the store wearing your chancletas, you get 1500 paisa points
If while wearing your chancletas to the store, you also wore rollers on your head and a hair net... you get 2000 extra paisa points
If you ask your family from Dominican Republic to send you a pair of "chancletas" or "calisos" (thongs) because the ones they sell in "La Duarte" are better... you get 5000 paisa points.
If you ever rode your bike wearing chancletas... you get 500 paisa points
If you had two pairs of chancleta, one to walk inside the house and the other one for quick runs to the store, you get another 1500 paisa points
If you ever used your heavy "Chancletas Samurai" as weights to work out, you get 100 paisa points
If you ever used your chancleta as a doorstop... 1000 paisa points
If took off you chancletas to mop the floor and put them on top of the bed with the soles pointing up... 500 paisa points
If you used your chancletas to kill a roach...100 paisa points
If you ever borrowed a chancleta to kill a roach...500 paisa points
If you threw your chancleta to kill a roach from far away... 1000 paisa points
If you used your chancleta to bring down mangoes or oranges or coconuts... 500 paisa points
If you know that you cannot bring coconuts down with a chancleta... 1000 paisa points
If you ever thought that "Chancletas Samurai" are actually worn by Samurais... 1000 paisa points
If you just found out that "Chancletas Samurai" are not actually worn by Samurais... 5000 paisa points and 500 dumb points

Paisa DJ Wannabe

2008-12-15T10:46:00.001-07:00

If your clothes should be bought at children section of the store... 500 paisa points
If you wear a DJ hat, you get 1000 paisa points
If you look like "Nelson De La Rosa"...1000 paisa points
If when you wear this outfit you are called "DJ Frustrado"... 2000 paisa points
If you are dying to see yourself in the internet... 2000 paisa points
If someone passes by your desk and they wonder "when did the circus get to town?" you get 50,000 paisa points.

Paisa Game

2008-12-11T09:02:00.001-07:00

OK this is a contribution by Mikey! Paisa game of the year... Accordion Hero. The "Fefita la Grande" game to come soon. It will include her red outfit and bra.

Pink Floyd Norteño - Please rate it yourself

2008-12-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

Feel free to comment on this video and give it your own Paisa Appraisal™ and I will put your rating for you. You will get full credit for appraisal points.

Paisa Limosine

2008-12-05T14:45:00.000-07:00

What can I say? This is paisa in so many levels!
This model did not have power steering or air conditioner

If you own a lada with no power steering... you get 5000 paisa points.
If your Lada is limousine, you you get 1500 paisa points.
If you use your Lada to taxi, you get 500 paisa points.
If your Lada has a luggage rack... you get 1000 paisa points
If your Lada's engine failed and you replaced it with a Datsun engine... you get 15,000 paisa points.

Paisa Relaxing

2008-12-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

If you use a seat from a car as furniture... you get 100,000 (OK, Washington Heights?)
If you take a nap in a public area... 20,000 paisa points
If you wear a "wife-beater" that you call a "franelita" you get 5000 paisa points
If you wear a paisa hat in the city... 50,000 paisa points
If you wear a white belt that belongs to your girlfriend, you get 5000 paisa points and 10,000 gay points
If you have a Pancho Villa mustache... 100,000 paisa points (this is usually considered a paisa flag)

Paisa Fake ID

2008-12-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

If you take a fake id picture with your jaina or jevita (girl)... you get 50,000 paisa points

If your name is Jose Pacheco, you go to the Paisa Hall of Fame with .... 1,000,000

If you actually showed this fake id to a human being thinking they are going to accept it... 250,000 paisa points

Paisa Celebrity

2008-12-04T13:57:00.001-07:00

This is my friend Ferner and future American Secretary of Commerce, Bill Richardson at the airport in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic in 1996.

If you wear a funky "Dragon Bue" rain coat looking thing, you get 50,000 paisa points.
If your "Dragon Blue" rain coat matches your "Dragon Blue" Ford Escort... 4000 paisa points
If you wear a Indiana Jones vest, just so you will look like you are a member of the press... 5000 paisa points
If the only people that wear vests are you and Diego (Dora the Explorer's cousin)... 1000 paisa points
If you put two pens in the front pocket of your Diego vest... 3000 paisa points
If on your left hand you are holding a baseball cap from "Los Tigres del Licey"... 1500 paisa points

Paisa Singer

2008-12-03T08:08:00.001-07:00

If you play the acordion, you get 5000 paisa points
If your stage name is "Fefita la Grande" you get 5000 paisa points
If you wear a belly dancer belt, you get 1000 paisa points
If you wear a locomotive conductor hat, you get 1000 paisa points
If you expose the bra you bought at a store called "Loco-loco", you get 8000 paisa points
If you have a tatoo on your belly that looks like it was done using a paper-mate pen and a kitchen knife, you get 2000 paisa points
If you take a promotional picture sitting on the lawn in front of an appartment building, you get 1000 paisa points
If you shave your eyebrows and then paint them with a marker with a lighter color, you get 1000 paisa points and 10,000 cholo and ghetto points
If you look at this picture and you wonder if the outfit was bought at "La Perrona", "Loco-loco", "Sederias California" or "K-momo" you get 5000 paisa points
If you own a CD by "Fefita La Grande", you get 5000 paisa points
If you look at this picture and you suddenly feel the urge to play your many CD's by "Fefita la Grande" or you think that iTunes should have more "Fefita" you get 1000 paisa points and you get to be the cyber paisa of the day.
If this is you in the picture and you are thinking "Que buena estoy!" (Darn, I look good!)
Finally, if you use a picture of "Fefita" as a chrismas card.... you get 15,000 paisa points and make me wonder what other paisa tricks you have up your sleeve

Paisa Costume 2

2008-12-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

If you pose with a guitar you do not play... 1000 paisa points
If you wear a leather jacket 3 sizes too big... 2000 paisa points
If you wear senior citizen glasses... 1000 paisa points
If you wear a "Cantinflas" hat thinking is a cowboy hat... 5000 paisa points
If you wear sketchers with your cowboy outfit... 1500 paisa points
If you pose with a liquor bottle filled with vinegar... 2500 paisa points
If you do not think there is anything wrong with this picture and this is a cool outfit... 1000 paisa points

Paisa Hats

2008-12-01T08:09:00.001-07:00

If you own Tigres del Licey Baseball hat... you get 1000 paisa points
If your new Tigres del Licey hat looks like you owned it for 20 years... you get 1000 paisa points
If you have a "Malta India" hat, you get... 5000 paisa points
If you wear your "Malta India" hat while drinking Malta India... you get 1000 extra paisa points
If you own a hat with your country's flag and name... You get 100,000 paisa points (This is the definition of being paisa)
If you wear your country hat in public during a paisa related activity like a parade... 5000 paisa points
If you wear your country hat, with your country shirt, your country shorts and country socks... You get an impressive 500,000 paisa points and the honor of being paisa king for a week
If you wear all these hats, the same week.... 6000 paisa points
If having these three hats is not enough for you and you keep bugging your relatives in the motherland to send you more paisa gear... 10,000 paisa points each time you mention these words: "mandame una cachucha" (send me a hat)

Paisa Costume

2008-11-28T15:11:00.001-07:00

If you use burned car oil to make your skin darker... 2000 paisa points
If you use palm leaves to make your tribal skirt... 5000 paisa points
If your weapon is a stick from a broom that your mother needs right now to clean the house... 3000 paisa points
If at the end of the day your mother will beat you with a "Samurai" brand slipper for acting dumb and getting your picture taken doing so... 1000 paisa points and 5000 retarded points.

Dominican Paisa Bus

2008-11-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

If you fit 20 people in a van that was designed for 12...2000 paisa points
If you use your van as a public transportation bus... 4000 paisa points
If you use a "cobrador," a person who collects the fare for you... 1000 paisa points
If the cobrador rides with most of his body outside the van... 7000 paisa points
If you ride on this van ... 10,000 paisa points
If you are sitting in the front, between the driver and the window passenger... 50,000 paisa points
If you look at this picture and you think this is a great idea for a transportation business, 50,000 paisa points
If you look at the cobrador and you think: "Where did he get those shades?"...3000 paisa points
If you rather ride on the blue truck on the right... you get 1500 paisa points

Paisa Shoes

2008-11-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

If you wear shoes 1 or 2 sizes bigger than yours. 1000 paisa points
If you own 3 pairs of these paisa shoies. 1000 paisa points
If your shoes look like boots. 1000 paisa points
If you can scoop out potatoes with your shoes. 1000 paisa points
If the celebrities that wear your shoes include Aladin and the Spanish group Locomia. 1000 paisa points

Paisa Cooler

2008-11-28T08:37:00.001-07:00

If you install a padlock oon your cooler, you get 1000 paisa points

If you actually think that putting a padlock on your cooler will prevent paisas from stealing your beer, you get another 1000 paisa points

If the screws to your padlock are expossed and can be open witha screw driver anyway... you get 2000 paisa points and 5000 retarded points.

Paisas playing Wii

2008-11-26T13:25:00.001-07:00

If you pretend like boxing on the Wii is actual boxing, you get 1000 paisa points.

If you watch paisas playing Wii like it is an actual boxing match, you get 2000 paisa points.

Paisa of the Day

2008-11-24T17:21:00.001-07:00

If you wear a Tommy Hilfiger shirt or a "Toño Hilfigaro" shirt you get 1500 paisa points
If your Tommy Hilfiger shir is too tight you ge 500 paisa points

If you look like McLovin from "Super Bad" you get 100 paisa points