It wasn’t until I had my son that I realized I had left a very crucial part of my planning by the wayside. I never gave much thought about the vehicle I was driving.  At the time of my son’s birth, I owned a two door sports car, which as many of you can guess- is far from practical.  The husband and I started vehicle shopping after two shorts months.  Not only did we need a vehicle that could house all of the things we would need to care for our child while on weekend visits with out of town family, but we needed something safe, affordable and that could do everything we needed it to do- towing, hauling and grow as a family.

While we may not have followed Consumer’s Report to purchase our vehicle, we did refer back to their reviews to decide whether our truck would give us all the options we were looking for and still allow our family to be safe on the road.  It was the best decision for our family at the time.  Now that we have two small children and know what lies ahead of us, we are starting the search over again.  This time, we will be referring to the U.S. New’s Best Cars reviews and Consumer Reports to help aide us in our decision.

Below is U.S. New’s Best Cars for Families 2012:

CATEGORY / WINNER
Affordable Compact SUV / 2012 Honda CR-V
Full-Size Car / 2012 Ford Taurus
Affordable Full-Size SUV / 2012 Toyota Sequoia
Affordable Midsize Car / 2012 Ford Fusion
Midsize SUV with Two Rows / 2012 Ford Edge
Midsize SUV with Three Rows / 2012 Buick Enclave
Compact Car / 2012 Subaru Impreza
Subcompact Car / 2012 Honda Fit
Hatchback / 2012 Honda Fit
Hybrid Car / 2012 Ford Fusion Hybrid
Hybrid SUV / 2012 Toyota Highlander Hybrid
Luxury Compact SUV / 2012 BMW X3
Luxury Full-Size SUV / 2012 Cadillac Escalade
Luxury Midsize SUV / 2012 Acura MDX
Minivan / 2012 Honda Odyssey
Upscale Midsize Car / 2012 Buick Regal
Upscale Small Car / 2012 Acura TSX
Wagon / 2012 Subaru Outback

Are Your Meds Making You Sick? A Pharmacist’s Guide to Avoiding Dangerous Drug Interactions, Reactions and Side Effects is a highly accessible and clearly formatted quick reference for the layperson. Written by Robert S. Gold, RPh, MBA, a clinical hospital pharmacist and affiliate instructor of clinical pharmacy at Purdue University with over 27 years of experience, Are Your Meds Making You Sick, shows readers how to protect themselves by learning to think like a clinical hospital pharmacist. Gold lists “16 Rules of Safe Medication Use” that can help prevent the most common adverse and dangerous drug interactions. He then gives specific examples and scenarios featuring the thirty-six drugs that are the most prevalent offenders and explains how even seemingly good drugs can harm a patient’s kidney, liver, brain and heart if the patient’s medical history and physical vulnerabilities are not taken into account.

As the U.S. population ages and there is a steady increase in the number of prescribed and OTC medications and alternative remedies, the topic of drug interactions becomes more important and newsworthy. Not only is Gold a pharmacist, but the author has personal experience dealing with dangerous prescription drug interactions. When Gold’s own father began suffering side effects from medication, his expertise in the field made for a lifesaving diagnosis. As a pharmacist for over 27 years, however, Gold realized that most people don’t have the experience and knowledge to identify adverse drug reactions or common drug-induced illnesses.

Are Your Meds Making You Sick? A Pharmacist’s Guide to Avoiding Dangerous Drug Interactions, Reactions and Side Effects is written so that anyone can use and access the information to protect themselves and their loved ones against adverse drug interactions, reactions and harmful or lethal side effects. Gold uses a captivating forensic or “detective” style to walk the consumer through case histories of dangerous drug interactions in which he explains to the reader what went wrong and what dangerous drug interaction was involved. This device immediately engages readers and, by encouraging them to look with him for a solution to the problem presented, gives them a quick, practical understanding of the subject.

No other book on the market offers the scope and clarity of Are Your Meds Making You Sick? A Pharmacist’s Guide to Avoiding Dangerous Drug Interactions, Reactions and Side Effects. By learning to think like a clinical hospital pharmacist we become aware of the common signs and symptoms of drug-induced illnesses and how to avoid them.

Therefore when making our registry for baby number two, which is a boy, NUK pacifiers and Learner’s Cups were placed on our registry. We knew what worked for us with our previous child, so we didn’t want to try anything different four our baby boy. Weeks after placing the items on the registry, I came across an email regarding NUK’s new 2012 product line. Their new 2012 product line is the TrendLine design. The TrendLine design is perfect for both genders and the designs are absolutely adorable. You will be able to find the TrendLine design on NUK pacifiers, bottles, and learning cups.

I was blessed with the opportunity to review a NUK TrendLineLearning Cup, TrendLine matching pacifiers, and the Camo pacifier for our baby boy.

First off, I love NUK pacifiers because of their design. We never had an issue with red marks around the mouth from baby sucking on the pacifier. Also during the breastfeeding stages NUK pacifiers have never caused nipple confusion for us, because the natural shape mimics the shape of the mother’s nipple during breastfeeding. The pacifiers are absolutely adorable, I love the new Trendline design, the ABC design along with the “BOY” graphics are perfect for our little man. My favorite is the Camo pacifier. As an army wife, we are always purchasing items that represent the army/camo design and NUK did an awesome job incorporating the Camo design onto a pacifier. Of course, all NUK pacifiers are BPA free and promote proper teeth alignment.

The new Trendline Learner’s Cup has many features including:

-Flows easily when sipped
-Helps make the transition from breast to bottle to cup easier
-Spill-proof soft spout – designed to be gentle on gums while teaching baby to drink from a spout
-Extra-wide neck for easier cleaning & filling
-Easy-grip handles, ergonomically shaped with anti-slip soft grips, make it easy for baby to hold
-Available in silicone, 5oz

My favorite features are:

-Wide Neck Design: makes it easier to clean
-Alignment: The handles are easy to align up with the spout so drinking out of the cup is easy on baby

Disclosure: I received a TrendLine Learner Cup and pacifiers for free in order to try the product and form an opinion for this review. I was not compensated in any other manner. The opinions expressed above are my own any claims should be verified on the sponsor’s site.

GIVEAWAY

NUK is generously giving away the Trendline Collection to one lucky reader of Pajama Mommy Community! One lucky reader will receive the TrendLine Learner’s Cup with matching pacifiers.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

One in five girls in the United States is sexually abused each year. Some do not disclose sexual abuse until they are much older. These children find themselves in foster care if their parent does not protect them from ongoing harm. The most common perpetrators are boyfriends, step-parents, and relatives, with 80% of the perpetrators being within the birth family. Studies have shown that in the aftermath of sexual abuse, 50% of sexually abused girls later become juvenile delinquents, run away, are significantly more aggressive, engage in promiscuous activities when poverty is factored in, engage in drug related activities, can self-mutilate, have uncontrolled outbursts of rage, need to always be in control of situations, and become abusive towards boyfriends, or get into abusive relationships. Sexually abused children and teens also develop eating disorders, and have guilt, shame, anxiety and depression, and poor self-esteem.

So how can we make our girls fight back and become resilient young teens? How do we protect our young girls and teach them the right ways of coping?

Here are the top five techniques that have worked very successfully in my practice with teen girls (www.thesupportivefosterparent.com):

• Develop Body Boundaries: Sexually abused girls tend to have poor body boundaries. TEACH body space, appropriate distance, hugging from the side, not pushing themselves into others’ in the front, and maintaining appropriate distance from males

• Teens and Dating: Sexually abused teens also either get victimized or become aggressive towards their dating partner. Develop self-worth in young teens, teach them to respect their bodies, teach them about being a woman in this world and be a role model for your teen. They learn from your actions, not just words.

• Manage Eating Disorders: Eating can be excessive with binging and purging, or refusal to eat at all. Both forms are ways young girls attempt to control their environment. This need to control comes from the helplessness and lack of control due to sexual abuse. Food is a way that a young teen can exert power over adults and cause anxiety in others. Anorexia and Bulimia are common with these teens. To develop a healthy sense of control, provide your young teen with healthy foods, give her areas of her life over which she has control and allow her to make decisions about the foods she eats. Making a fuss about how much she is eating is going to worsen the situation and strengthen the eating disorder instead of reducing it. Rather, make food fun, use humor at dinner and provide her with healthy childhood snacks she loved. Creating a low tension environment with a relaxed family non-judgmental environment will gradually relax your young teen daughter and she will substitute food with activities that you have introduced her to in which she can exert control and feel empowered.

• Deal with Bouts of Rage: Intense rage reactions are fairly common in children with sexual abuse histories and they can sometimes get violent. Often they are misdiagnosed as being Bipolar and placed on medication to keep them calm. However, their rage is a primitive reaction to the emotional trauma of sexual abuse and can be explosive. What works for these teens is trauma therapy and most importantly predictability. They dislike sudden changes, unpredictable actions, sudden changes in schedules, and power struggles more so than the average teen. Allowing your teen time to regroup, holding her when she wants you to, and giving her space when she asks for it so that she can bolster her defenses will help her handle stress, get “unstuck” and cope with new situations better. What will worsen this situation is forcing her to talk to you when she is not ready and forcing her to complete chores and engaging in a power struggle.

• How to Handle Panic Attacks: Bouts of anxiety with fear of choking up, nausea, trembling, fearing that the walls are closing in and that she is going to die are all too common for our sexually abused teen. Create resilience by identifying the triggers that have caused the anxiety and combat these triggers by pairing them with healthy effective empowering activities. The negative effect of these triggers will disappear over time, and your teen will become resilient and strong.

Successful parenting of your sexually abused female teenager will depend on CONSISTENCY, CALMNESS and CREATIVITY; the three Cs of parenting children with boundary issues.

About Dr. Kalyani Gopal

Dr. Kalyani Gopal is a licensed clinical psychologist with special interests in child sexual abuse assessment and treatment, attachment issues, and foster care assessment, adjustment and training. She serves on the Lake County, Ind., Child Protection and Child Fatality teams, and was the recipient of the Outstanding Service to Lake County award in 2004.

For that special someone who’s not over the top in the

accessory department- the XO necklace from Blue Nile.

For couples who want help spicing up the romance– try the Bed of Roses,

Hot Heart Massager and Aura Massage Oil from Pure Romance.

When going out on Valentine’s Day– wear something fun, flirty and fashionable from Jockey P2P.

Like many skills, the ability to meaningfully and productively communicate takes practice. Maribeth Kuzmeski tells parents how they can organically teach their kids to connect with others—so that when they do become teens they can do more than shrug, grunt, and send another text.

Teens and technology. These days they’re as inseparable as toddlers and their teddy bears. When your teens (and, increasingly, tweens) aren’t updating their Facebook pages they’re probably texting friends or blaring music through mp3 players. And here’s the irony: Today’s young people are more “connected” than any other generation in history, but they have a general inability to, well, connect. In fact, says Maribeth Kuzmeski, many can barely carry on the most basic conversations and have trouble articulating what they want or need.

“I’m not saying the digital world is the reason why young people struggle to function in the real one,” says Kuzmeski, author of the new book The Engaging Child: Raising Children to Speak, Write, and Have Relationship Skills Beyond Technology. “At least it’s not the only one. It’s more like a crutch. Because technology is so pervasive, teens use it as a substitute for real conversations. And so they don’t hone those critical skills.

“The ability to engage and collaborate with others in a meaningful way is critical in a global society,” she adds. “So when young people don’t learn how, they really do hurt their chances for a successful life.”

Learning to engage and connect, of course, begins long before the teen years. Kids learn by doing. And just as we must push kids to clean their rooms and do their homework, it’s up to us as parents to force them to interact with others in persuasive, polite, and engaging ways.

Technology is only part of the problem, Kuzmeski points out. The other part is that we tend to do things for our kids that we need to be teaching them to do for themselves. We set up their dental appointments, for example. We place their orders in restaurants. We talk to their teachers. We call in sick for them when they need to miss a day of school. We do these things because we’ve always done them—and in the process we squander what could be rich learning opportunities.

“The truth is, parents just don’t think about turning these tasks over to their kids,” says Kuzmeski. “It’s never occurred to them. But when they step back and let kids manage these kinds of everyday situations—and provide plenty of coaching along the way—they’re surprised by how quickly they begin to blossom.”

Giving parents the tools they’ll need to help their children develop a strong ability to connect with others is the focus of Kuzmeski’s latest book. As a bonus, the author’s seventeen-year-old daughter, Lizzie, wrote the last two chapters. They are meant to be read by Lizzie’s fellow teens and tweens in order to provide a peer’s perspective on the elements of building and maintaining real relationships in a wired and fast-paced world.

Read on to learn about six strategies that you can incorporate into your family’s life, as well as the skills they’ll help your kids develop naturally and organically:

Have them place a restaurant order. If you’re like many parents you’re eager to hurry things along in restaurants so you get in the habit of ordering for the whole family. The next time you’re dining out, though, use it as an opportunity for your child to interact with the server in a way that gets results. Instruct him to order his own meal, complete with requests to hold the pickles or bring extra ketchup or ranch for the fries. You can also prompt your child to thank the waitress when his meal is delivered and encourage him to engage with her in positive ways when she checks in throughout the meal.

“This is a good chance for your child to see firsthand which words and even which tone get results,” Kuzmeski explains. “During this type of interaction, kids learn to manage and impart several specific, personalized details. Be sure to explain to them how much more smoothly all transactions go when you, the customer, are clear and accurate. You can also point out that you get better treatment—more attentive service and maybe even free dessert—when you are polite and respectful as opposed to demanding or rude.”

Help them return an item to a store, especially at a busy time. At some point, your child is going to receive a birthday gift she already owns, a sweater from Aunt Grace that might have fit her two years ago, or a toy that’s damaged or missing a part. When you make the trip to the customer service desk, be sure to bring your daughter along. Ask her to explain why she is returning the item and to specify whether she’d like an exchange, cash, or store credit. And (as always) remind her to use “please” and “thank you.”

“Dealing with long lines, hassled employees, and confusing return policies can be a challenge even for adults!” Kuzmeski admits. “Having your child take the lead might take a bit more time, but it’ll be an invaluable lesson to her in negotiating using what she knows (the store’s return policy) for the outcome she wants (like a sweater that fits). Especially if the customer service rep is frazzled or if your child is in the wrong (for example, she lost the receipt), she’ll be able to see firsthand that politeness and understanding can—sometimes—smooth things over. Also, seeing positive results will teach her that it’s worth the effort to correct a problem rather than just ‘letting it go’ and absorbing the financial loss.”

Ask them to set up an appointment. Whenever he needs to visit the doctor, dentist, or hairstylist (or even when your dog needs to go to the vet!), ask him to call and book the appointment. Instruct him to be as detailed as possible when requesting a visit time, and help him to look at the calendar before confirming to make sure there’s not a conflict.

“Making his own appointments will help your child fine-tune his phone etiquette and ability to pay attention to details,” Kuzmeski points out. “He’ll also learn to make decisions and navigate his own schedule while working with someone else’s. As he gets older, you can begin to let him request specific services, relay insurance information, and more. Lastly, if you need to cancel an appointment for any reason, allow your child to make the call and reschedule. The lessons he learns about time management and dealing with uncomfortable conversations will be invaluable well into adulthood.”

Help them to decline invitations. Between friends’ birthday parties, cousins’ graduation celebrations, classmates’ bar mitzvahs, and more, your child is going to be invited to events that she is unable to attend. Once she has looked at the calendar and seen that she’s already busy (or in a more extreme instance, you’ve looked at plane tickets and decided they’re too expensive), go over polite refusals with her so that she knows what to say. Then ask her to call the event’s host and explain why she can’t attend.

“Even in adulthood, it can be difficult to say no, even when it’s in our best interests,” says Kuzmeski. “It’s uncomfortable to disappoint people. That’s why we so often ‘cop out’ and send an email or just don’t show up. We may even make up a reason we can’t go to spare people’s feelings. It’s smart to teach your kids early how to say no, and to do it without softening the blow with a lie. By learning to politely decline requests when they’re young, your kids will be more fully in control of their lives. Plus, by seeing the world didn’t come to an end when they said no, they’ll learn to tell the truth.”

Equip them to converse with a stranger. Most youngsters are very comfortable “LOLing,” “BRBing,” and “TTYLing.” But when it’s time to have a good old-fashioned verbal conversation, especially with someone they don’t know well, many kids tend to clam up. Whether your child is a chatterbox at home or not, opening up to strangers (in your presence, of course!) can be quite intimidating. The next time your family is in a larger-scale social setting (like a holiday party, family reunion, or worship service), give him a few ideas of how he can strike up a discussion with people he doesn’t see every day.

“Even before the days of smartphones and Facebook, it was completely normal for youngsters to feel reluctant to approach older adults,” Kuzmeski points out. “You’ll be doing your kids a big favor if you arm them with icebreakers that they can use to proactively connect. Before social events, discuss what some good topics of discussion might be and help them to make a list of strategies for drumming up conversation. They’ll also be able to power through any awkward lulls in conversation that might otherwise discourage them from taking the connecting initiative in the future. And they might also find a new friend or mentor!” NOTE to EDITOR: See attached tipsheet.

Make them do their own fundraising. At some point between kindergarten and high school graduation, most children will be asked to participate in fundraising. Whether she is selling cookies for her Girl Scout troop, magazine subscriptions to raise money for a band trip, or coupon books for her school, require that your child do all of the selling herself. Instead of taking her catalogue and order forms to work, let her come to the office—if only for thirty minutes during lunch—and make her pitch in person. You can also prompt her to approach people she knows at church and in your neighborhood, and to phone friends and relatives.

“I think that many parents avoid door-to-door fundraising in particular because they don’t want to annoy the neighbors or put them on the spot,” Kuzmeski points out. “No, it’s not my idea of an ideal Saturday either, but taking an hour to help your child fundraise is worth it. It’s a great coaching session. She’ll learn a lot about how to persuade others to help her, as well as build her confidence, assertiveness, and general conversation skills. She’ll learn how to accept ‘no’ gracefully. And she’ll feel a huge sense of accomplishment when her order form is full.”

By the way, if your child is already a teen, don’t worry that he or she is a lost cause. While many of Kuzmeski’s tips are aimed at younger children, others are appropriate for teens as well—or easily adapted for them.

“Teens can take the lead in planning and hosting their own parties,” says Kuzmeski. “They can pet sit and baby-sit for friends and neighbors. You can even conduct mock interviews with them to prepare for future jobs, and suggest that they work part-time in the summer if they’re old enough. All of these activities—and many more—will accustom them to interacting and collaborating effectively.

“Regardless of your child’s age, making these connections might not be easy at first,” she adds. “Depending on your kids’ ages and personalities, they may balk at being asked to get into the proverbial driver’s seat (and in fact, that might be one reason you’ve always spoken for them!). But be insistent and consistent. Your children’s comfort levels will increase, and especially as they begin to experience positive connecting outcomes, they’ll become more and more proactive.”

Small Talk Made Simple:
Five Ways to Help Your Kids Feel Comfortable Connecting

Small talk is an important skill for any connector, regardless of age, to master. From the check-out line at the grocery store to the person sitting next to you on a flight, you just never know which connection can result in something big or wonderful. When you look at it that way, every connection you don’t make is a potential opportunity missed, so engaging meaningfully is a skill that’s best learned early. Maribeth Kuzmeski, author of The Engaging Child: Raising Children to Speak, Write, and Have Relationship Skills Beyond Technology (Red Zone Publishing, 2012, ISBN: 978-0-9717780-3-0, $18.95), shares five strategies your kids can use to connect with people in any scenario.

• Share something extra about themselves. When adults meet a new child, they’ll often ask easy-to-answer stock questions like, “What’s your name? How old are you?” In addition to providing the “bare bones” answer, help your children think of something extra they can offer. For instance, your son might say, “Hi, I’m Billy. I’m five years old and I love to play baseball!” Voilà! What might have been a standard teeth-pulling session has just been transformed into a bona fide conversation.

• Be complimentary. Whether you’re seven or seventy-seven, a compliment is always a great way to break the conversational ice. To get started, teach your kids to comment on something interesting the other person is wearing. For example, “I love that necklace you’re wearing. It’s so pretty!” Or, “Wow, your shirt is my very favorite color.”

• Talk about the weather. Sure, commenting on the weather has a rather “blah” reputation, but the fact is, it works, and it’s a great way to ease into a conversation with someone you don’t know very well. Teach kids to pay attention to their surroundings so they can comment on them during small talk. For example, “Have you been enjoying the nice weather?” Or, “I hope it doesn’t rain next week, because my Girl Scout troop is supposed to march in the parade.”

• Find things in common. If you can find a common interest with the person to whom you’re speaking, small talk can turn from mediocre to meaningful in an instant. Teach your kids to be aware of conversational and external cues. If your daughter notices that someone is wearing a Braves jersey and she’s also a fan, she can strike up a conversation about the latest game. Or if your son hears someone say that she’s from Columbus, Ohio, he might say, “My grandparents live near Columbus. Don’t you love the zoo there?” (Hint: If you are going into a situation and think of some common interests ahead of time, go ahead and arm your kids with them!)

• Wrap it up well. One of the trickiest parts of small talk is the conclusion. Give kids a few lines they can use to wrap up a conversation before it veers into awkward silence. “It was great to meet you. I hope to see you again soon! Have a nice vacation!”

# # #

About the Authors:
Maribeth Kuzmeski, MBA, CSP, is the author of six books including …And the Clients Went Wild! and The Connectors (Wiley), and is a frequent national media contributor and international speaker. Maribeth and her firm, Red Zone Marketing, Inc., consult and train businesses from financial services firms to Fortune 500 corporations on strategic marketing planning and business growth. She has personally consulted with some of the world’s most successful CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals. Maribeth lives in the Chicago, IL, area with her husband and two teenagers.

Lizzie Kuzmeski is a teenager and a natural connector. She enjoys theatre, horseback riding, and, yes, Facebook.

“I have spent years working as a physician in an ED. My wife and I decided to open an urgent care facility because we saw the opportunity to improve patient care and give service to the community” said Michael Gutman, MD, the medical director of New England Urgent Care.

Dr. Michael Gutman and his wife Yahel Gutman, an ED nurse, opened New England Urgent Care in West Hartford last spring. Theirs is the only urgent care in Hartford County with the Urgent Care Association of America certification for Urgent Care. It’s notable, as very few centers are even capable of achieving this certification as they do not meet the criteria.

At New England Urgent Care, patients receive care from licensed and board certified medical experts. The office is equipped to treat a number of conditions and has various capabilities including on-site X-rays, IV fluids, respiratory treatments, medications, suturing and casting. There are other large differences from an emergency room.

“We are much more service oriented than an ED,” said Dr. Gutman. “Thus we strive to make the patient feel welcome and cared for. “

Such care and service routinely earn New England Urgent Care high marks among its patients.

“I thank New England Urgent Care for the very kind, professional and immediate treatment that we received when I came to the office with my 77-year old father, who had been experiencing severe dizzy spells,” said Pam Hoffman of Burlington. “They took the time and patience to explain everything to our entire family, which is really important when someone is sick. I will tell all my friends about their professionalism and fine treatment.”

Additionally, instead of waiting hours in an ED, the typical patient at New England Urgent Care waits only minutes. The office is open weekends, holidays and until 8pm, Monday through Friday. In addition, unlike the ED, if there is a problem that might take several days to be solved, New England Urgent Care will arrange the outpatient diagnostic tests and ultimately refer to the appropriate specialist, if necessary. They will coordinate with the patients’ primary care physician if they have one so that the care will be ongoing.

Another benefit of opting for urgent care versus an emergency department is the cost. New England Urgent Care accepts almost all insurances except Medicaid or SAGA. For those who do not have insurance or who cannot get the care and service they need from Medicaid providers, New England Urgent Care has extremely low self-pay rates and will work with the patients if they have financial hardship.

It must be noted, an urgent care facility is not the appropriate place for someone suffering from a life-threatening illness such as acute stroke or heart attack.

New England Urgent Care is located at 21 North Main Street, Suite B, West Hartford. Hours are Monday-Friday, 8am-8pm, Weekends and Holidays 9am-6pm. To learn more visit: www.UrgentCareNewEngland.com

By Ed and Ellen Schack

Realizing whole-life success is possible. The secret lies in creating and committing to boundaries that keep work and home life separate, so that you may remain career-driven while also carving out as much quality family, couple and “me” time as possible. This helps to reduce anxiety and stress for you, your romantic relationship, and a family unit at large.

Consider these tactical strategies that will help working professionals better balance their family, personal and career life:

• ·Be totally accessible to business contacts ONLY during regular working hours whether 9-5 Monday through Friday or other set working hours. Ensure all vendors, business partners, colleagues and clients understand that this is the company culture or your personal policy.
• ·Have a personal cell phone that is only for family and friends so you can leave the business phone behind on family outings, personal “me” time at the health club or with friends. Answer the business phone, fax or email ONLY during business hours.
• · No Friday afternoon critical endeavors or fire drills. Stack the more labor intensive, mission critical tasks – and those that require third-party involvement or input – early in the week and taper down so that by Friday you can essentially focus on housekeeping items. This strategy can help you avoid weekend work loads and other infringements on what should now be your personal time.
• · Just as you schedule professional obligations, also schedule time off personal family and couple activities. And, don’t forget to put in “me time” to exercise, relax, or spend time with friends. It doesn’t matter if it is a few hours or days, or a small or large activity – put it on the calendar and plan around it to make it happen!
• · If you are a business owner or manage staff in an operation with extended hours, create processes and protocols that can handle most situations when you are unavailable in the “off” hours or otherwise. Also ensure all staffers understand you are to only be contacted in true emergencies (don’t forget to define “true emergency” as well!) and that you have empowered them to support you properly when you are not accessible and make executive decisions in your absence.

There are also a few key principals that can go a long way toward establishing work/life balance and harmony, especially when you are in a relationship with an equally success-minded person:

• Establish Open Lines of Communication. Communication is vital to any healthy relationship whether business and personal. It is important to ensure that everyone, including yourself, be able to express themselves no matter what as this helps diffuse misunderstandings and alleviates stress and time spent on repairing these downed communication lines.

• Operate with Respect, Balance, and Recognition. It’s important to have go-to people to lean on in both the career and non-career aspects. This may mean using a mentor, career coach or business consultant who can take the company to the next level or a personal confidant who can help you make personal changes, improve communication, resolve issues and become better people.

• Identify your Neutral Zone. It is not easy to maintain happy and healthy relationships on a personal or professional level. There will be discord and disagreement, so finding a neutral zone is important where each person can go to get away from stress or the angst of a difficult moment. Establish a place of “escape” from such difficulties, so that you can clear your head, regroup and productively deal with the situation at hand.

• Focus on Social Responsibility on the Inside and Out. Establishing a business and a family life based on a philosophy of social responsibility can generate a great deal of satisfaction. Whether it is the idea to “pay it forward” by helping those who are less fortunate or creating a bucket list based on what you and/or your company can do for others not only makes a difference in others’ lives, but it also enriches your own life – and that of your employees – and makes it feel more fulfilling.

Regardless of whether you’re a business owner, a manager, executive or professional, it’s easy to get off kilter – especially when under excessive stress and pressure at work or at home. Career demands can cause family disruptions, while other variables like tightening budgets can create friction at home and at the job. However, there are ways to manage such circumstances and, in doing so, regain control of your own personal and professional satisfaction. Start with these action items above and you’ll be well on your way.

The CEO Couple Ed and Ellen Schack are living examples of work/life/family balance based on key principles that foster healthy a marriage, business growth, and managing the rigor of everyday life: Respect, Communication, Partnership, Fun, Family, Faith, Balance, and Well-Being combined with many operational components of business like Strategy, Vision, and Competition. They may be reached online at www.theceocouple.com and via Twitter #theceocouple.

Feed that Cold

Colds are the most common sickness a kid gets. They can get several in a year and love to spread the joy. A cold can deplete the body of more than just energy. It takes away needed nutrients and weakens your immune system. A child’s body is fighting off viruses and needs food to help replace all those special warriors the immune system calls up.

1. Garlic – Yes, garlic is one of the best antibiotics you can get naturally. That chicken soup grandma fed you? It was full of garlic. It helps you fight that nasty cold.
2. Vegetables – Yes, eating your vegetables can fight the cold, too. Onions are some of the most powerful and can be included that same chicken soup. Any green vegetable such as broccoli is full of nutrients your child’s body needs at this time. For those kids who are sick of veggies, you could use the Breville BJE510XL Juicer to make some juice for them. It is very convenient.
3. Fruit – Don’t forget that Vitamin C is one of the biggest warriors against the cold virus. Load your child up with oranges, apples, and berries. Keep them full of fruit as cold season rolls around to keep their immune strong and avoid colds.

Allergy Busters

Allergies attack weakened immune systems. Yet, with the right foods in the diet a child can put a defense against these allergy attacks.

1. Fish – People just don’t realize what they are missing in fish. Not shellfish. Actual fish whether it is fresh or salt water is good for you. It has so much to help our bodies. Make fish a regular part of child’s diet to give them the advantage they need. It could be great if you could get meals with fish in it 2-3 times a week.
2. Vegetables – You really can’t get too much of vegetables. The darker green they are the better. Spinach really is powerful. While it might not give instant muscles to fight the bad guys, it gives power to white blood cells.
3. Fruit – What does fruit not do? They are so full of antioxidants that they can be used to fight almost any common sickness your kid has. And kids love fruit. Keep fruit lying out and they’ll eat that instead of sweets which do nothing for your child’s health.

Loose and Not so Loose Bowels

Kids always have some little bug causing diarrhea or constipation. Most of the time constipation is a matter of a poor diet. Just a few changes in eating habits can get that under control quickly. Include fiber rich foods such as cereals, green vegetables and raisins.

Diarrhea can be a result of a bug that wants to invite guests in and accompanies many sicknesses. It can be diet related, but most times it is a side effect of a virus.

1. Liquids – It is important to keep giving your child liquids if they are experiencing diarrhea. As the child’s bowels are flowing so loosely, they are removing fluid that should have been absorbed into the body. Keep giving them liquids and keeping them hydrated.
2. Fruits – Different children react differently to foods. For some, an apple could be the culprit behind the diarrhea. For others, fruit helps slow the diarrhea down. Don’t go overboard on the fruit. Try a little, but it could make it worse. Bananas are generally seen as the best fruit for diarrhea.

Boosting Low Iron – Anemia

Low iron, anemia, is more common than you might think. Part of it is diet, but there could be other contributing factors that come and go. If your child is tired a lot, they could have low iron. You need a diet rich in iron.

1. Meat – Meat is full of iron. No, this is not the perfect opportunity to make them eat liver. I hate to inform you that there are other meats out there besides liver that can give your child iron. Beef is a great source. Pork is, too. You can get quite a bit of iron from shellfish such as shrimp but make sure your child does not have an allergy to shellfish which can be fatal.
2. Vegetables – Those darn green vegetables keep popping up. That’s because they are some of the best for helping little bodies, and big bodies, fight off invaders. A spinach rich diet helps keep fatigue away and those iron levels high.
3. Fruit – Don’t think because fruit is listed here that you get iron from fruit. You don’t. But fruit helps that iron get where it needs to go and get the job done. Enough cannot be said about the benefits of fruit and the Vitamin see found there.

Christine Allen, mama to two lovely kids, created Livesnet with her friends, where she shares her reviews and parenting tips with people. In her spare time, she likes hunting  nice baby products for her sweeties and also for you guys. So please visit Livesnet to check her hot review on Mickey Mouse Crib Bedding and see what she got.

My children have taught me so much in the course of their short few years of life.  There are no more excuses.  I am solely responsible for my two small children and have nothing but their best interest at heart.  Frivolous spending and random road trips came to a halt.  Saving money, cutting costs and planning became top priority.

And though my children are still very young, the thought of college lingers in the back of my mind.  College is expensive.  I’m paying back my student loans and not even finished with school yet– and I want better for my children.  I do not want them to stress about the financial strain getting a good, solid college education can cost.  I am signed up for a program called UPromise and currently looking into a company called Mission Tuition.

Their program looks promising and will help me put away money towards my children’s education, all the while shopping for products and brands that I trust.  Signing up and shopping is easy.  When you sign up with their program, they open an educational account.  To begin savings, you shop on-line at Mission Tuition.  The advertised rebates available at each of their retailers goes directly into a savings account.  There is no waiting for a special card to come into the mail to begin savings, you simply use your existing debit or credit cards to make the purchases .  Another added bonus is that if your card allows you to earn miles or points, you will still accumulate those benefits with your purchase.  So really, it’s a win-win situation.

My kitchen and dining room are the only two completely unfinished rooms in the house.  And by unfinished, I mean, having to be completely gutted and redone.  I painted my dining room, but decided against the color.  It is far too bright for my liking and doesn’t really flow well with the rest of the home.  My kitchen has been painted and I am absolutely loving the color.

Now it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty of things.  Both my kitchen and dining room floors must be torn up, right down to the floor joists.  Once I level out and sturdy the floors, I will begin putting down the new slate flooring.  Then the fun can begin!

Cabinet styles are selected, as is the color.  We have the layout planned and y’all, I’m beyond ecstatic.  Now I’m stressing about the final touches– vessel sink/vessel sinks, vessel faucet/vessel sink faucets, draw pulls and light fixtures.  It is absolutely amazing to see my dreams unfold, room by room and the anticipation one can feel knowing that the last part of their dream is about to become reality.

I had spent the morning hours listening to some great tunes and cleaning the house. I had stew in the crock pot and I had the laundry all wiped out. It had been a great productive time so I decided to sit down with a glass of wine and enjoy my afternoon. I had just checked out our direct tv NFL Ticket from direct tv NFL Ticket when from the corner of my eye I saw a spider the size of a small SUV! So much for a relaxing moment and enjoying all that I had accomplished! I cringed immediately because of the sheer size of it! I could see each black disgusting leg making its way down the baseboard from a good 12 feet away. My toes curled up and despite my best efforts, I could not help but let out a shriek of disgust and fear. I was home alone and I very aware that at 35 year old woman should not have such a fear for creepy crawlies. It certainly wasn’t the first one I’ve had to encounter in my years as a stay-at-home mom, but it never gets easier. I leaned back in my chair, grab the wine glass and drank over half before doing what had to be done. A woman’s work is never done because instead of getting ready for direct tv NFL Ticket, I had to clean the stain from the carpet!

So for my children’s birthday last year, I purchased them a cedar swing set.  I knew I did not want metal, as it would rest and plastic may or may not make it through our bitter cold winter months.  Cedar seemed like the smarter way to go.

As the winter months continue to drag on, I am finding myself planning out my backyard.  Just like my front landscaping project, I plan on making my back yard as maintenance free as possible.  After a unhealthy dose of HGTV for several years, I have opted to use rubber mulch in not only my flower beds, but also as my children’s playground surface.  Economically, it is the smartest option.  I do not have to worry about color fading nearly as quickly or replacing mulch as it decomposes and that in itself will save me a lot of money over the years.

With my yard layout drawn out on paper, it’s time to get down to business and research companies around my area that offer rubber mulch and pricing.  Knowing how many bags it took to complete the flower beds in the front of my house, I am gearing towards making a bulk purchase of rubber mulch.  One of the few companies I have been able to find that will service my area, bless their hearts, is Rubberecycle.  Has anyone ever had experience with them?  Although I am planning on contacting them in the morning, I am still looking for others personal opinions.

“So many of us live out our lives as slaves to the tyranny of should,” notes McIntire, creator along with artist Erin Cote of Guiding Signs 101, a set of powerful, yet fun road sign-inspired “intuition cards” that come with a guidebook that explains the meaning of each. “Year after year we strive to become what others—parents, partners, experts, society—tell us we should be. And then, one day, we wake up and realize we never got to let go and just be our real selves.”

The start of a fresh new year (okay…give or take a week or two) is the perfect time to resolve to live more authentically. Problem is, you may not be sure where to even begin. Heck, you may not be sure what an authentic life looks like! That’s why McIntire has put together some practical tips—52 of them, in fact—for “getting real” in various areas of your life.

“Each week, choose one suggestion from this list to focus on,” she suggests. “No need to tackle them in the order they’re listed or to do all of them. They’re just meant to get you thinking—and to get you started down the path to a more authentic life.”

YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving  us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.
—Barbara de Angelis

• Come to terms with what really matters to you. Get comfortable with it. Maybe you’re okay with a smaller income and more free time. Maybe you’re okay with an extra 20 pounds. Never apologize for not “fitting in.” The minute you find yourself worrying about how others perceive you is the minute you abandon authenticity.

• Whatever you decide to do (or not to do), own your decision. If you find you can’t own it—if you feel wracked with guilt or compelled to hide the truth from those around you—it’s time to rethink what you’re doing.

• If in your journey to authenticity you decide a lifestyle change is needed, be realistic in your goal-setting. Let’s say you decide your diet, heavy in fats and processed foods, isn’t serving you well. If you know you aren’t going to grow an organic garden in your backyard, set a goal to prepare a body- and soul-nourishing meal (heavy on the veggies and supplemented with organically raised meat) two days a week at first. It’s best to take “baby steps” and plan to make more dramatic changes when you’re ready. In this way you’ll build the confidence you need to succeed.

• Break an unwritten “rule” made by others and reject any shame. Allowing others to shame us keeps us living on the treadmill and trying to fit in by doing it the “right way.” Authenticity is inner directed. Inauthenticity comes from caring what others think and letting the external dictate how you live.

• Ask yourself, What am I hiding? Make the choice to reveal something you’ve been fiercely protecting. Chip away at the armor by sharing a secret with a partner or a friend or maybe just your cat or your journal.

• It’s okay to do things for yourself. Honor your own needs. Sometimes we all need a massage or a new handbag or just a couple of hours alone while our spouse takes the kids to a movie.

• Give yourself permission to have feelings that you think you “shouldn’t” have. Should and shouldn’t have no place in an authentic life.

• Get real about money. Spending what you can’t afford to spend is another way of pretending to be who we aren’t. It’s also a disaster in the making!

• Take a break from the need to DO something. Simply BE. Simply show up as you are and love.

• Know when you’re at your best and when you’re not. (When you’re not, it’s almost always the perfect time for a bath or a nap!)

• Call a moratorium on victim talk. Authentic people don’t blame others. They recognize their own power and use it to create their own reality.

• Own your emotions. If you can’t help crying in confrontational situations, let the tears flow. If you’re devastated when a pet dies, accept condolences without apologizing or minimizing. You feel what you feel…let go of the label of being “too sensitive.”

• Each week, spend some time outside. When we disconnect from Nature, we disconnect from Source. We’re creatures of the Earth and it’s hard to thrive in an artificial world.

• Declutter a little (people and “stuff”). When you’re too busy trying to manage chaos, you can’t relax enough to even know who you are and what you need and want. (Do you really love Grandma’s china? If you don’t, give it to someone who does. Are you really going to fit into those size 8 jeans ever again? If not, get rid of them!)

• Give yourself a makeover. Do you dress in a way that truly expresses who you are? This question has nothing to do with what’s hot or stylish or what label is attached to your garments. It has everything to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin (and what’s covering it) instead of vaguely ill at ease or like you’re playing an expected role.

• Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you”—to yourself. Until we can fully love ourselves, we can’t fully love the others in our lives.
AUTHENTIC FRIENDSHIPS

We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible.  To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple,  obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.
—Thomas Moore, PhD

• Learn to say no. Sometimes it takes an authentic no (to something you don’t want to do) to say an authentic yes (to something you long to do). Unless you’re the clown or the balloon maker, does it really matter if you don’t go to the party? If you see it as an obligation, bow out lovingly and stay home and rest—ah, rest!—instead.

• Also, learn to say yes when your heart guides you to. Be flexible and fun. So what if you “should” (there’s that word again!) stay home and clean? When a good friend invites you to dinner on the spur of the moment, drop everything and go. We rarely regret heart-inspired action!

• Gently tell the truth. Of course you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but don’t withhold crucial insights to spare them, either. (“I think you have a drinking problem” may hurt her feelings, but if you believe the words are in her best interests, don’t you have to say them?)

• Be vulnerable. Show your insecurities. Admit that your house is a wreck, or your marriage is struggling, or you don’t know how to roast the turkey. People will be more willing to open up and be authentic with you because they’ll see that you’re human.

• Allow your friends to be vulnerable, too. Let them feel their feelings. When you argue with them or try to “fix” it for them, you deny the authenticity of their experience.

• If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. If your friends never bring money to dinner and you always end up paying the tab, confront them (lovingly) with the truth.

• Be sensitive to what is convenient to the other person. Sometimes what’s convenient for you doesn’t work so well for them. (If a busy working mother lets you borrow a hundred dollars in cash, pay her back in cash—don’t write a check. When is she going to have time to get to the bank?)

• Practice and expect reciprocity. We’re all in different cycles at different times, so this should be measured in terms of years, not weeks or months. However, if you find that a friend seems to only take, limit the time you spend with her.

• It’s okay not to be “nice.” Real friends would rather you speak your truth than pretend or deny or try to please and impress. Little girls are not sugar and spice and everything nice…and neither are grown women.

• Surround yourself with authentic friends. If you don’t have any, set an intention to find your tribe. Join a reading circle or a knitting group or a hiking club or a food co-op. Volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about. Be open to the people you meet. Likeminded people will find you as if by magic.

• It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other. If the friendship isn’t meeting your needs, move on.

• Lighten the load for someone else when you can.

• Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.” One day it will be your last chance.
AUTHENTIC MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS

Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full  acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood.
—Karen Casey

• Ask yourself, Am I married to the right person…or am I just married?

• State your intention. Do you intend to stay married and make it work? Then do what it takes to make it happen…or get a divorce.

• End the blame game. If you’re blaming your partner for your unhappiness, you’re denying your own power. We can’t control what others do, but we can control how we respond to it and whether or not we’ll continue to live with it.

• Tell the truth about something you’ve been stewing over. Tell it gently and lovingly, expressing what took place and how you feel: angry or sad or betrayed or conflicted. Make it an “I” statement versus a “You” statement. Own your feelings; they are yours. Then offer a suggestion on how to make the situation work for the both of you. This will turn the focus on a solution and keep you both from getting stuck on the problem.

• Rock the boat. It can be good to upset the status quo in your relationship—especially if the status quo is causing seething resentment. Go where you want to go on vacation for a change…or plan an outing with girlfriends on his “golf day”…or paint your office the shade of green that he dislikes (but that you love). Let the chips fall where they may.

• Are you letting your partner live an authentic life? If you’re doing something to manipulate or control him or her, it’s time to stop. When people are allowed to be who they are, they often blossom.

• It’s usually a mistake to expect people to change lifelong habits that you don’t like. They won’t. And anyway, who are you to insist they change to please you?

• It’s not about winning. As the old saying goes, Would you rather be right or be happy?

• Have you ever heard it said, “Don’t fight force with force”? It’s a MARTIAL arts principle that can also be a MARITAL arts principle! Sometimes yielding or flowing around the barrier like a river is the best way to get what you need.

• Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.” One day it will be your last chance.
AUTHENTIC PARENTING

A lot of mothers will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.
—Banksy

• Be as honest with your kids as you possibly can be without upsetting them with information too advanced for their ages. They can handle the truth when it’s expressed lovingly and in an age-appropriate way. Yes, Dad lost his job (but we won’t end up homeless). Yes, the shot will hurt a little (but only for a minute and it will be over).

• Are you perpetuating the myth of parental perfection? When you screw up, admit that you screwed up. Kids will respect and respond to your honesty.

• Pay attention to your child when he talks. Really listen. Tuning him out or humoring/half-listening sends the message that what he has to say is not important. Believe me, that’s a message he will hear loud and clear.

• Every day, make a sincere effort to truly engage your child. Turn off the TV, walk away from the computer, set aside the bills—and talk. When you don’t make it a priority, days and weeks can go by without a genuine connection…and you wake up one morning to realize you don’t know your own child.

• Every so often ask your child “What would you like to do today?” Then just do it. While you’re throwing the football or having the tea party, don’t zone out and worry about the bills you need to pay or the report you need to write. Be in the moment. Enjoy your child. These days will not last forever.

• Parent from the heart. If it doesn’t feel good to you, it doesn’t matter if it’s what the “experts” swear by. You are you and your child is your child…your intuition will tell you what’s right for both of you.

• Pushing kids to be something they’re not hurts them and you. They need to live their dreams, not yours.

• Look for ways to honor your child’s gifts. Post the short story she wrote on your Facebook account. Or proudly show guests the Lego fort he built in his room. Tell friends (in her presence), “Meghan taught our dog how to sit, stay, and fetch…she has a real gift for connecting with animals!” Acknowledging what makes your child unique helps her shape a strong sense of self.

• Be truthful about your child’s shortcomings. Everyone has different strengths. If your child isn’t an academic superstar or a natural athlete, it’s okay. Focus on her strengths rather than trying to hide the truth about what you see as a weakness.

• With everything you do, narrate the “why.” You’re helping your kids understand that you make the choices you make based on a set of beliefs and values that make you you.

• You’re not Parent of the Year (whatever that means!) and you never will be. Let yourself off the hook. You might not make it to every school event but there is plenty you do right. Focus on those things instead.

• Let the housework go. The struggle to maintain perfect order at all times is the ultimate denial of who we are: beautifully flawed human beings! Spend the time you would have spent mopping playing with your kids instead.

• Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.” One day it will be your last chance.

—————————-

About the Author:
Kathleen McIntire is a transformational teacher, speaker, and healer who is dedicated to bringing forth truth, liberation, and awakening. She is the author and creator of Guiding Signs 101, a set of divination cards and guidebook using everyday road signs to tap into your intuition and own inner guidance.

She is the steward of MoonBear Sanctuary, located on 28 acres in Northern California. The retreat center located there provides cutting-edge workshops as well as ceremonies, study groups, and symposiums. Kathleen, whose focus is on restoring the feminine power, also leads sacred journeys with women. She has led journeys to the Andes and rainforest of Ecuador. Her next journey is to Guatemala; it will revolve around the 20-day Mayan Calendar.

Kathleen is the producer of two upcoming Mayan films. The first, Mayan Renaissance, is being made by PeaceJam, an international education program for youth built around leading Nobel Peace Laureates. The other film is The Unification of Wisdom and 2012. She is a presenter on the Womens Empowerment (WE) Channel on the CANDO Networks.

When she was younger Kathleen had a successful career in business. She has lived abroad and traveled extensively around the world. Kathleen’s website addresses are www.soaringinlight.com and www.guidingsigns101.com.

About Guiding Signs 101:
Guiding Signs 101(Soaring in Light, 2011, ISBN: 978-0-615-46500-5, $19.95) is available at bookstores nationwide and from all major online booksellers.

Both of my children will be having professional pictures taken soon.  It is something I do twice a year and while it may not be a big deal to some, it is very much a big deal for me.  My dilemma is this– I am trying to find outfits for my children.  Nothing too fancy, outfits that match (between the two of them), will reflect their personality and own sense of style.

So moms, help me out here.  How do YOU choose your children’s outfits for their photos?  Do you plan your outfits strategically or do you just wing ‘em?  I need some advice, I guess is what I’m trying to say.

One of the stores I have been window shopping at lately is la~di~da.  They have some of the latest children’s fashions from designers like Eva & Oli, Pin Pretty and Splendid, but also styles that blend in with my children’s personalities and their fashion sense.  It is just a matter of being able to narrow down my choices to two or three outfits, rather than splurging on the entire website (which I was tempted to do).  How can you not splurge on children’s clothing though?  It’s fun to play dress-up, no matter the age.

Another thing to love about stores like la~di~da is their affordability and the size range their website offers, especially for those of us moms with little boys.  It is not often a mother of boys can find outfits in their sons sizes and still be able to get them unique, fashion forward clothing options and at affordable prices.  I have found websites that offer my sons sizes, but cringe when the price appears before my eyes.  Needless to say, la~di~da is the perfect solution to my dilemma.

There is more to search engine optimization than sticking a few keywords here and there and submitting your site to search engines. A search engine optimization professional is going to understand exactly what keywords will work best for content, the ratio of keywords to content to use, as well as every other important aspect of SEO that many people don’t understand.

Professional search engine optimization is going to help your business’s website become more well known, receive increased traffic, and will also help it be more easily searchable on the internet. All of these side effects are going to aid in increasing profits.

Yes, you may be able to do your own SEO, but when it comes to running a business, professional help is going to be the most successful way to improve the visibility of your site and thus your popularity and profits. A professional is going to have years of experience in SEO, and time is money. Consider it an investment that will pay for itself.

I purchased my first home as a single mother and have proudly renovated nearly every room in the house, aside from the kitchen and the kids play room.  Now that I am nearing the end of my other smaller lingering projects, I am having a blast of looking at all the options available for my kitchen.

I know the color of the cabinets I want to use, the finish and the wood type I want to use.  What I am struggling with are the fine details– which tiles do I use for the backsplash/flooring? What countertop do I like best?  Lastly, the kitchen island dilemma.  The one I saw at Menard’s (my favorite home improvement store) has an absolutely gorgeous kitchen island on display with so many options.  Do I want a spice rack on just one side of the island or do I want spice racks on either side?  Or shall I nix the idea and go with a wall spice rack above my cook top? Do you see my dilemma?  There are just too many options for a person like myself and right now, my brain is in overdrive trying to figure it all out.

So, fabulous readers, do y’all have any suggestions?  I could use all the input I can get on this project!

• Barack Obama. Our current president’s plan for tax reforms is focused on instituting the “Buffet Rule.” Named after progressive billionaire Warren Buffet, this rule would increase taxes on capital gains (by an unspecified amount) for households that earn more than $1 million annually in order to reduce our $1.27 trillion national debt. According to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, over 22,000 households earned over $1 million but paid no income taxes in 2009. Additionally, the rule would reduce the total 12.4% payroll tax on employers and employees to 3.1% and adjust the rate employees pay on Medicare to 2.9%. While the plan has won the support of global investors, Obama’s previous tax proposals haven’t been able to get off the ground, and some economists are already calling the Buffet Rule a divisive and unnecessary attack on job creators.
• Mitt Romney. The former Massachusetts governor and de-facto GOP frontrunner proposes lowering corporate taxes from 35% to 25% and eliminating the capital gains tax for individuals who earn less than $200,000 a year. Although previously an opponent of flat taxes, Romney has stated that he would also be open to investigating flat-rate income taxes further down the line.
• Newt Gingrich.  Newt Gingrich has corrected his early stumble and revived his presidential campaign – now he’s suddenly fighting for the lead in the polls with Mitt Romney. Gingrich’s tax plan would eliminate the capital gains tax, establish an optional 15% flat-rate income tax and a 12.5% corporate tax and make Medicare optional for employees. Though Gingrich’s plan hasn’t received as much press as his competitors’, it could be a good middle ground for GOP voters who are on the fence between Cain and Perry.
• Rick Perry. After imminent also-ran Rick Perry started losing ground in the GOP race to ex-candidate Herman Cain, the Texas governor introduced his own plan for tax reform. Perry’s plan would create an alternative tax system: both private and corporate incomes would be subject to a 20% flat tax. This system would also eliminate estate and capital gains taxes and give every individual and dependant a $12,500 exemption. Most importantly, Perry has stated that his plan will be optional and that Americans who want to remain on the current tax system would be free to do so. The Tax Policy Center has estimated that these tax reforms, if nationally instituted, will result in a $995 billion loss in federal revenue.
• Ron Paul. Ron Paul will be running for president again this year, and the Texas congressman’s tax plan remains essentially the same. As a libertarian, Paul would completely eliminate the income tax and balance the $1 trillion deficit the cut would cause by instituting excise taxes and massive budget cuts. Like Perry and Romney, Paul would also end capital gains and dividend taxes in order to give Americans who earn most of their income from investments a break.

These are your presidential candidates’ tax plans in a nutshell. If you happen to be wealthy, you should find the Republican-promoted flat tax to be pretty appealing. If you believe the wealthy need to be taxed, sticking with Obama and the Democrats seems to be your best bet. It’s hard to say if either type of plan will do much to alleviate our national debt, but at least this year we get to pick our poison. On the bright side, if the tax reforms we choose don’t end up working, well, we get to choose again in 2016.

Bill Hazelton is the founder and CEO of CreditCardAssist.com, a leading consumer awareness and information agency. He’s been cited by the San Francisco Post, Yahoo! News and more. Follow him on Twitter @CardHelp.

(image source: Comfy Critters)

We received Seymour the Shark. My daughter had no idea about the surprise until she awoke from her nap. She immediately took the shark into her arms and named him “Bruce” after the movie “Finding Nemo.” She held him tight, laid her head on him, and insisted on watching “Finding Nemo” with her new “Bruce.” She was even more ecstatic to find out that she can even unfold the shark and wear him on her head as a hooded blanket. The Comfy Critter immediately turned into a pirate adventure when she placed the hooded blanket on her head. The only con we discovered is the Comfy Critter is currently too long on her and while running it’s easy for her to trip and fall. The Comfy Critter is 36″ in height and she is currently 32″.

(image source: Comfy Critters)

Comfy Critters is definitely Pajama Mommy Approved. Not only is it comfortable and versatile for our toddler, but it’s machine washable, easy to fold/unfold, easy to store, and great for the long road trips. Of course, as a mom, I love the fact that Comfy Critters offers 100% money back guarantee in case you are not satisfied (although, this wouldn’t be an issue!). Comfy Critters is great for birthday presents, stocking stuffers, or just a gift for a a special child.

Disclosure

For many Americans, overspending seems like a birthright. But, warns financial advisor and author Leslie Greenman, sooner or later, those bad spending habits will catch up with you. She explains why we feel compelled to overspend and provides advice for making 2012 the year you tighten your purse strings.

If you fear you’ll be ringing in the New Year with a holiday spending hangover, you’re not alone. In fact, studies show that many Americans will still be paying off their holiday debt months, and possibly years, after gifts have been exchanged. But let’s be honest. If overspending was a problem for us only once a year, most of our bank accounts would be much more robust. Unfortunately, the overspending psyche infects many Americans all year round.

Leslie Greenman says that if you’re prone to turning a blind eye to the reality of your financials then you’ve likely been hijacked by the psychology of overspending. She wants to help you curb your out-of-control spending frenzies in 2012—but first you must understand why you feel the need to splurge in the first place. Many of us have emotional triggers that lead to overspending. Understanding how the need for stress relief or the need to demonstrate your own self-worth can lead to overspending is essential in order to curb the dangerous habit.

“Women especially can have a tendency to take on a what-I-don’t-know-can’t-hurt-me mentality when it comes to spending,” says Greenman, a financial advisor and author of the new book Dating Our Money: A Women’s Guide to Confidence with Money & Men. “We convince ourselves it’s okay to overspend because we’re celebrating a promotion or because we’re pleasers by nature and want to buy a great gift for our spouse or best friend’s birthday.

“And in today’s economy, we might carefully avoid the truth about our financials because we don’t want to feel ‘poor.’ After all, we convince ourselves, if I’m out shopping or if I’m buying a new car then I must have plenty of money. Meanwhile, you’re using a credit card to pay for your extended trips to the mall and taking on unnecessary debt to get that new car.”

Greenman encourages women and men alike to make a change in 2012. She says there’s no better time than the beginning of the new year to break your overspending habits.

“Once they’ve conquered overspending, I think most people will be surprised by how much they gain through saving,” says Greenman. “Sure, you may no longer be eating out every Saturday night and you might not be restocking your closet every month with new shoes, but you’ll gain the peace of mind that comes with standing on a strong financial foundation and you’ll be able to achieve big financial goals, such as buying a house, much more quickly.”

Read on for Greenman’s advice on how to better understand the psychology of overspending and what you can do stop it:

Get real about your financials. Sit down with your spouse at least once a month to have a heart-to-heart about your financials. Make sure you both understand what the budget will allow for in spending that month, and more importantly, plan out how you’re going to meet your saving goals.

“Look at how much you can realistically spend,” advises Greenman. “Too often, women think of the financial picture like it’s a black hole. Credit cards are a huge cause of this because they allow us to avoid the reality of debt. We can just whip out our credit card without taking an immediate hit in our bank account. But that has to stop. Now is the time to gain a clear understanding of the family financials. When you do so, you’ll be more inclined to control your spending.”

Establish an “Operation Saving” plan. Once you know what your budget is, start mapping out what expenses you can and can’t cut and set savings goals. Be very specific. If you buy Starbucks every morning, that has to be accounted for in your spending report. If you’ve been sneakily hiding clothing purchases from your spouse, then it’s time to fess up. The specificity will override the “vagueness trap” that allows us to fool ourselves about how much we’re really spending.

“The more specific your plan, the easier it will be for you to hold yourself accountable to it,” notes Greenman. “Set both short-term and long-term goals. For example, do you want to pay off a credit card over the course of three months? Do you want to save up for a special family vacation or set aside a certain amount in your children’s college funds? Having specific goals will encourage everyone to stay on the saving track.”

Don’t let the psychology of the sale get the best of you. If you’re a chronic overspender, sales pose a special temptation. When there’s a great sale, two factors are usually used to justify spending, explains Greenman. First off, we fear that if we don’t take advantage of the sale now we might not be able to get that item later. And secondly, most women love to feel like they’ve gotten a great deal when they’re shopping.

“Even if the on-sale item is still too much for your budget, you convince yourself that it’s okay to splurge a little in this case because the deal being offered is so good,” she says. “But let’s be honest. Going over budget is going over budget. It doesn’t matter what purchase is deepening your debt; just that your debt is increasing. So don’t let the temptation of great sales get the best of your budget. If an item is too much for your personal financial situation, don’t buy it.”

Get an accountability partner. Your accountability partner will be there for you whenever you have the impulse to overspend. If you’re married, your spouse could be your accountability partner and vice versa. If not, maybe your mom has always been a stickler when it comes to the family budget, or maybe you have a friend whose frugalness you’ve always admired.

“Check in with your accountability partner at least once a month,” recommends Greenman. “Knowing you’ll be going over your finances with that person will help you stay on track. And make sure your accountability partner doesn’t mind being on call whenever you want to splurge. Give him or her a call when a sale is tempting you or when you’re having trouble making a financial decision.”

Don’t shop when you’ve got the blues. Studies have shown that we’re inclined to pay more for items when we’re sad. Have you ever been down in the dumps and indulged in a yummy dessert or gone back for seconds of whatever your comfort food of choice might be? Well, the same emotional triggers that lead you to seek comfort through food can lead you to seek comfort through spending if you head to the mall instead of to your favorite restaurant.

“Just like overeating, buying stuff is a popular remedy for making ourselves feel better when we’re down,” says Greenman. “But I think we all know that the happiness we achieve through spending is fleeting. Soon we’re right back to being down in the dumps. My advice: don’t shop when you’re sad. Instead, curl up and watch a good movie or spend some time with a good friend or family member who has a knack for cheering you up.”

Invest in relationships, not in “stuff.” It’s perfectly natural to want to give back to those who give to you. It feels good to treat a friend to lunch or to see your son’s face light up when you agree to buy him the video game he wants. This satisfies the nurturing instinct in women, in particular. And it also helps us assuage the guilt we often feel for the shortage of time we have to spend with our loved ones. What we need to realize is that what other people really want, kids and adults alike, is to spend time with us.

“One of my friends is the ultimate ‘giver,’” says Greenman. “She will treat for dinners, throw lavish parties, and has even given my kids new clothes. The funny thing is, I don’t think she understands that I would be her friend no matter what. It has never been about her ‘giving’ me things. I just genuinely enjoy spending time with her. So the next time you want to win a family member’s or friend’s love through buying something, find a way to spend time with that person instead. Spend a day with your son doing the things he loves to do. Or suggest to a friend that you spend an afternoon catching up over coffee.”

Use cash! Consider this: The average American spends 12 to 18 percent more when they use credit cards versus cash. Buying on credit is a trap to be avoided if at all possible—and the best strategy for defeating temptation is to use cash whenever possible.

“If you use your credit card, whether it’s to pay for the week’s groceries or to put gas in your car, you’ll probably end up paying for your groceries and gas two or three times over in interest payments,” Greenman notes. “Bring only cash with you when you’re shopping, or at the very least, use your debit card or write a check. Reaching for your credit card to pay for something you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford is no longer an option.”

Remember, small amounts add up to huge consequences. Sometimes you can overspend by missing opportunities to spend less. Do you and your family order sodas when you eat out? Do you buy coffee at a gas station or at Starbucks on the way to work each morning? Do you buy bottled water instead of using a filter to get it from the tap? If so, spend a moment filling out one of the cost calculators available online. The results will be eye-opening!

“The amounts you spend on these items might seem small, but they really add up,” says Greenman. “Let’s take a closer look at soda costs. At a restaurant, soda can cost between $2 and $3. If you’re a family of four, that adds up to almost $10 or more every time you go out to eat. But if you drink water at restaurants instead, you save those $10-plus dollars, and those savings can quickly add up to about $1,000 a year. The same opportunities for saving arise when you cut out the daily Starbucks run. I bring a thermos of tea with me to work every morning. One box of the tea I buy at the grocery store is the same price as just one cup of tea from Starbucks. When you cut out the small expenses that add up, you’ll have a significant chunk of change to put toward the family vacation fund or the new appliance you need.”

“If you don’t know the big picture of your current financial status, then kick off 2012 by getting a clear understanding of it,” says Greenman. “There’s never a bad time to start living more financially responsibly. Sure, you’ll have to make sacrifices, but trust me, those sacrifices will be made up multiple times over through the wonderful things you can achieve through saving and strengthening your financial outlook.”

About the Author

When Leslie Greenman’s husband unexpectedly passed on at age 35, she suddenly became a single mother of two boys (ages two and four). Leslie learned how quickly life can change. She went into the financial industry to empower women with the knowledge and confidence to take action and be prepared. Through her tough experiences of becoming suddenly single, she realized how easily women can be misinformed and taken advantage of. Dating Our Money offers women the important information they need to confidently make smart choices with money and men.

Leslie is currently a financial advisor, author, and public speaker. She loves to talk to women and girls about managing money and making wise choices but can adapt a speech to meet the needs of any audience. She encourages people to remember that every decision counts! Buying soda at a restaurant could prevent you from saving thousands of dollars over a lifetime.

Through her book, Dating Our Money, Leslie’s goal is to make financial planning fun and relatable for all women.

Susan Apollon says that miracles do not happen by coincidence—we are designed for them. Here’s what you can do to invite those moments of divine magnitude into your life.

Albert Einstein once said of miracles: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Intuitive psychologist and author Susan Apollon agrees, and has spent more than two decades backing up this hypothesis by studying the nature of miracles and the conditions under which they occur. Her conclusion? That everyone can receive these natural gifts because we are all spiritually connected to God, Source, Allah, or whatever a person chooses to call this wellspring of goodness.

Apollon’s book, Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope, is a collection of real-life occurrences—including messages sent from loved ones who’ve passed on, angel visitations, and signs—that can be defined only as the stuff of miracles.

Apollon describes her clients’ experiences as “blessings that made them feel safe, holy, divine, not alone, protected, and taken care of––and frequently, just made them smile.” She says that studies in Quantum Physics suggest that anyone with the right mindset can live a life rich in miracles from the small to the momentous. You simply have to foster your ability to invite them in.

Here are a few suggestions and insights that will prepare you to receive your own miracles:

• Give yourself permission to be open to extraordinary experiences. “As a psychologist who has sat with patients who have shared countless wondrous stories of small and large miraculous events in their lives, I have come to recognize that the ability to experience miracles is often dependent on whether or not you choose to allow for the possibility of miracles in your life,” writes Apollon. Accept that you will allow the universe to do its good and it will respond accordingly.

• Rediscover your spirituality. Take time to connect with your own soul and with the Source by returning to—or visiting for the first time—prayer, ritual, and faith. Learn to meditate while breathing deeply or do yoga. Most of all, try to reach a point at which you feel your connection to the universe and everything in it.

• Commit to making significant changes in negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. This is especially important for a person suffering an illness because “anxiety and desperation have a strong tendency to block your ability to heal.” Apollon says that to change this stone-set pattern we must always be aware of what we are feeling and then consciously change our thoughts, replacing negative or disturbing images with positive and empowering ones.

• Keep a synchronicity journal. Synchronicity is the flow of “meaningful coincidences” that indicate that life, all life, is connected in a complex web of psychic moments, signs and symbols, and shivers of spiritual connectedness. The sheer volume of these subtle miracles that happen in so many different lives adds up to powerful evidence of “something greater.” “The numbers,” Apollon says, “will be far greater than you may have imagined.”

• Write your intentions down. In detail, record on paper with joyful enthusiasm exactly what you desire from the universe––daily. Expect good things to be placed in your path and they will come––be it a spiritual visit from a passed loved one, a new chance in a waning relationship, or a miraculous recovery.

Above all, keeping your heart brimming full of love and compassion is the most important factor needed in the creation of miracles. If we all are somehow connected together, this simple intention is the healing balm needed to rescue Earth and all souls upon it. What better way to begin fresh in the New Year than with a new faith-based attitude that risks little sorrow and at most promises unprecedented hope and joy?

Apollon asserts, “I think we’re all hungry for that, even diehard skeptics. Especially diehard skeptics. My overarching message is that life itself is extraordinary––miraculous! And all it takes to realize that is to open your eyes and see the amazing things that surround us all, every day.”

About the Author
As a psychologist and an author, Susan Apollon empowers and heals the body, mind, and soul; as an educator, she informs; as a speaker, she inspires and touches the heart.

For more than twenty-five years, Susan has been in private practice in Yardley, PA, evaluating and counseling adults, families, and children who are dealing with difficult life situations similar to what she has personally experienced, researched, and written about, including cancer, other health issues, trauma, and grief.

She is an avid researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Intuition, Energy, Prayer, and Healing and brings this expertise to her three published books—Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope; Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul; and Intuition Is Easy and Fun: The Art and Practice of Developing Your Natural-Born Gift of Intuition (co-authored with Yanni Maniates)—as well as to her audio books, online course, CDs, and MP3s. Susan’s work is scientifically based and enhanced by her ability to trust her own intuitive wisdom.

Susan comes from a family of physicians, which includes her husband, father, brothers, aunt and uncles, daughter, and cousins. Healing and medicine are a part of her lineage.

She integrates the gifts and challenges of having lived more than sixty-five years with the joy and satisfaction of being married for more than forty-four years to her husband, Warren, a practicing orthodontist, along with the role of being mom to her two adult children, Rebecca, an Emergency Medicine physician, and her son, David, a Management Consultant.

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Todd Patkin wants you to do him a favor. Look to the upcoming year and ask yourself—realistically—what lies in store in 2012? If you’re like most people, a huge portion of your life will be spent anxiously plugging away at a job you may or may not enjoy with coworkers you may or may not like. Okay, yes, you work hard to build a better life for your family. But here’s the question: Will you have time to enjoy them? Will you be too exhausted to throw the ball with your son? And how many nights will you get home too late to tuck him in this year?

Patkin, author of the new book Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In, says this pattern of stress and striving has to stop. We already live in uncertain and depressing times, and our lifestyles are driving us not toward new heights, but over the brink.

If you’re not careful, says Patkin, you may suffer the same fate he did.

“When I was thirty-six years old, I was successfully leading my family’s auto parts business, I was well respected in my community, I had a wonderful wife and son…and I also suffered a nervous breakdown,” he says. “Yes, at that point in my life, I enjoyed what I did and was truly proud of my successes, but I was also pushing myself too hard and prioritizing the wrong things…and eventually, it all caught up with me.”

For months leading up to his breakdown, Patkin suffered from a paralyzing depression and anxiety, and found it difficult to complete tasks as simple as deciding whether to order coleslaw or potato salad with his lunch. But he still considers himself to be very fortunate.

“As horrific as it was, my breakdown was actually also my breakthrough,” Patkin shares. “It was an in-your-face wake-up call that forced me to realize that I was driving myself too hard, and for the wrong reasons. I finally had to say, ‘Enough is enough! I am done destroying myself and ruining my life!’ Admitting to myself that my former way of life wasn’t working was the beginning of my road to recovery and true happiness.”

For the past decade, Patkin has taken a closer look at what really makes people happy and unhappy, and he has seen most of his goals and priorities shift. In the same way, he says, it’s in your best interests to shift your habits and focus in 2012. Call it a New Year’s resolution to simply be happy.

“I have come to realize that how happy and fulfilled you are is largely under your control, and that it has less to do with success and accomplishments than you might think” he asserts. “I believe that most people are experiencing many—if not all—of the stressors that led to my breakdown, so please don’t wait until you, too, reach a breaking point to make changes in your life. I’m totally convinced now that true happiness is a possibility for everyone, so I’m asking you to take the lessons I have learned to heart.”

If you’re ready to change the way you approach life before you drive yourself over the edge, read on for fifteen life lessons that Patkin has learned:

1) You have to choose and prioritize happiness—it doesn’t just happen. If you subscribe to the belief that your happiness is wholly dependent on what happens to you, you’ll always be dissatisfied. The truth is, your fulfillment largely depends on the choices you make: how you see the world, what you allow to influence you, what you focus on, and how you react to circumstances, regardless of whether they’re good or bad. In other words, it’s not what happens to you; it’s how you look at what happens to you.

“If you want to make a dent in your stress levels, you have to make choosing happiness a priority every day,” Patkin instructs. “With all of the responsibilities on our plates, nothing is likely to happen unless we specifically focus on it. So make happiness one of the two or three priorities you absolutely must accomplish each day. To remind yourself, put a note where you can see it—maybe on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. And if that sounds selfish, it’s not. If you’re extremely stressed or become depressed because of the way you’re living your life, you’re hurting many more people than just yourself. And what’s more important than teaching your kids to be happy? Always remember that children learn by example. If they see you living a harried, stressed life, that’s the pattern their lives will follow as well…and their children’s after them, and so on.”

2) Striving for work/life balance is worth its weight in gold. Times are tough, and some of us are finding it necessary to work long hours to keep our jobs and livelihoods. Others have fallen into the trap of the work-ego addiction: over time, you become hooked on the “high” you feel when you accomplish something, get a promotion, etc., and you begin to spend more and more time at the office. Whatever the reason, if extremely long hours are becoming a habit for you, break it. No matter how good your intentions are, overloading on work will cause your relationships, mindset, and even health to suffer.

“Prior to my breakdown, it was normal for me to work seventy- or eighty-hour weeks,” Patkin recalls. “In my personal dictionary, ‘rest’ and ‘relaxation’ were synonymous with ‘irresponsibility’ and ‘slacking.’ Boy, was I wrong. Working as much as I did is more than the human body is designed to take continuously. If you drive yourself that hard, you’ll eventually begin to run on fumes before you shut down entirely. Being firm about creating and maintaining a healthy work/life balance is no more selfish than prioritizing happiness—in this case, it’s about simple self-preservation! And if you’re still skeptical, remember this: no one looks back on their lives at age eighty and says, ‘Gee, I wish I’d spent less time with my family and friends and more time at the office.’”

3) We are our own worst critics. If you’re like most people, you probably tend to focus a lot of your mental energy on the things you mess up rather than on the things you do well—even though most of us do a hundred things right for every one thing we do wrong. And although you may not realize it, focusing on that one wrong thing is very dangerous, because our thoughts are incredibly powerful. Until you give yourself permission to break free of the cycle of self-blame and negativity that causes you to be stuck demanding perfection from yourself in every situation, you’ll never have a chance to be a truly relaxed, content, and happy person.

“It’s not easy to rewire your habitual thought processes, but you need to build yourself up more and beat yourself up less,” Patkin instructs. “I used to expect nothing less than perfection out of myself, which was delusional! We’re all human, which means that we’re going to make mistakes from time to time. That doesn’t mean that we’re in any way unworthy or undeserving of love. In fact, learning to love myself was at the core of my own happiness journey. If you aren’t satisfied with who you are, you’ll always be looking outside yourself for validation…and you’ll never be truly content. And like me, you might also push yourself beyond healthy limits in order to get accolades from other people.”

4) It’s never too late to start living in the present. How often do your thoughts “live” in the present? More to the point, how often are they instead fixated on your “disappointing” or “disturbing” past or spent worrying about your future? If you are like most people, your percentage of time not spent in the present is way, way too high, and thus you’re missing out on life itself. If you’re letting what’s already happened eat away at you or fretting about what might come to pass, you’re not enjoying the blessings all around you. You’re exacerbating your anxiety and unhappiness by choosing to dwell on things you can’t change or control.

“I used to spend a majority of my time rehashing my past mistakes and worrying about what might happen in the future, neither of which did anything for my peace of mind or self-esteem,” Patkin remembers. “In fact, these unhealthy and self-critical thoughts were a major contributor to my breakdown. Now that I’m making a conscious effort to live in the present, I’m actually enjoying all of the great things in my life instead of letting them pass me by unnoticed. Plus, I’m actually a lot more productive now that all of that mental space that used to be occupied with worries has been freed up!”

5) Focusing on what you’re good at is best for everyone. If you aren’t good at something—especially if it’s work-related—chances are you’ll feel compelled to spend a lot of time and effort getting your skills up to par. It’s natural to want to shore up your weaknesses, but the fact is, this strategy tends to cause you a lot of stress for (most likely) mediocre results. Instead of trying to be good at everything, stay in your strengths as much as possible. When you’re doing what you’re good at, you’ll be happier and higher performing.

“As I’ve said, I used to be a total perfectionist,” says Patkin. “I felt like I was a failure if I didn’t excel in absolutely everything I tried. It probably won’t be a surprise to hear that all I accomplished was making myself miserable when I failed to live up to my impossibly high standards. If that sounds familiar, I’d suggest focusing more time on a hobby or personal interest to start, even if you do it for only twenty minutes every other day. And if you determine that your career doesn’t utilize your strengths, start looking at online job postings or for local classes in your field of interest. It’s never too early—or too late—to start doing the things that make you happy.”

6) Exercise is worth its weight in therapy. Yes, you’ve heard it (a million times) before, but exercise is one small change that yields really big, life-changing benefits. For starters, it will begin to make you feel more relaxed, stronger, and more capable of handling life’s challenges—also, it will improve your sleep, and it’s a natural anti-depressant that will help your attitude and outlook. In fact, exercise actually opens you up to future change by invigorating your mind and body.

“I’m convinced that exercise is the single most important thing you can do to improve your life right now,” Patkin asserts. “Looking back, I believe that my breakdown occurred when it did because I had broken my feet and couldn’t work out. Before that point, exercise was essentially acting as a medication that helped to counteract the effects of the stressful lifestyle I was living, and after I recovered, it has continued to boost my energy and outlook. If working out is already a part of your life, great! If it isn’t, commit to walking just twenty minutes every other day to start out. You don’t have to join a gym, sign up for exhausting classes, and completely reorder your life to reap the benefits of this investment!”

7) You need to feed your mind healthy “food.” When was the last time you watched the nightly news and turned off the TV feeling positive and uplifted? If anything, hearing the headlines is more likely to be depressing and discouraging. Although many of us don’t want to admit it, the things we hear, read, and experience influence our own attitudes and outlooks, so it’s important to consciously “feed” your mind positive materials.

“It may sound hokey, but over the years I’ve become a big proponent of motivational books, audio recordings, and DVDs,” shares Patkin. “Whether we’re at work, talking with friends, or at home watching TV or surfing the web, most of us encounter a lot more bad news and predictions than we do good. No wonder we become negative and cynical! It’s important to seek out positive things that will counteract these influences and dispel unnecessary stress. Learn new, constructive things and expose yourself to fresh ways of thinking so that you don’t get stuck in a self-destructive rut.”

Surround yourself with positive people. If you stop for a drink at the water cooler and find your colleagues griping about how much work they have to do and how unreasonable your boss is, you probably don’t think much of it. In fact, depending on how your own day is going, you might even join in. And although you may not realize it, your attitude will start to deteriorate. The fact is, if you spend a significant amount of time around other people who are negative, your own outlook will begin to mirror theirs.

“It’s much easier for others to drag you down than it is for you to build them up,” Patkin points out. “In terms of your attitude and happiness levels, you will be the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so you need to be around other people who share your commitment to happiness if you want to avoid unnecessary stress. I’m not suggesting that you completely sever relationships that aren’t entirely uplifting, but gradually, you need to gravitate more toward positive people and distance yourself from those who tend to bring you down. This might mean calling a positive friend and asking to meet up for coffee or a beer, or walking away from the water cooler when your coworkers begin to gripe and complain.”

9) Invest in your relationships—especially your marriage. When we’re driving ourselves to the brink, personal relationships are usually one of the first things to suffer. After all, the more time you spend at work, the less time and energy you have to invest in friends and family. You don’t consciously realize it at first, but this gradual deterioration can leave you feeling unappreciated, angry, alone, and anxious. Remember, though, that loving, supportive relationships will majorly enhance your happiness levels, and that friends and family care about you and accept you in a way that your employer never will.

“It’s never a waste of time to reach out to the people who are meaningful to you and tell them how important they are to you, or to try to address any unresolved grievances and apologize for the things you may regret,” Patkin assures. “And there’s one relationship you need to focus on in particular: the one with your spouse or significant other. Put more work into this relationship than you do into anything else: your house, your car, or your job, etc. Celebrate your spouse every day. Tell her (or him!) all the time how beautiful she is and how lucky you are to have her in your life. Trust me: this can make such a great difference in your emotional health, your stress levels, and your overall happiness! I truly believe that I would not be as happy as I am today without the love of my wife, and I also believe that my breakdown would have been much worse without her support.”

10) Take control of what you can. If you’re reading this, chances are your life isn’t exactly stress-free. It’s practically impossible to live in the modern world without a million worries ranging from work deadlines to bills to clogged gutters. While you aren’t omnipotent, you probably can influence at least a few of the things that are causing your anxiety. Try to eliminate or minimize situations that are stressors instead of constantly dealing with their effects. Often, it’s the little things that make the biggest difference when it comes to relieving stress.

“Start by identifying the two or three things that cause you the most stress on a consistent basis—maybe having a messy house is one,” says Patkin. “Often, you’ll find that there are concrete things you can do to lessen or even eliminate the pressure. For example, you might have a frank discussion with your spouse and kids regarding chores. Or, you might finally hire a cleaning person to help you once or twice a month if you can now afford it. Also, if you can’t eliminate or change a stressor, such as a job you hate but can’t afford to quit, challenge yourself to handle it differently. Specifically, decide beforehand how you will react in a more enlightened way when certain stressful situations occur—actually visualize yourself handling them with poise instead of becoming outwardly or inwardly worked up. Having a game plan in place before the ‘beast’ rears its ugly head really can reduce your negative reactions to stressors—big time.”

11) Being friendly is a good investment. In our culture, it’s become a badge of honor to stride around with an air of importance and a stony face. After all, if you’re too busy to say hello, you must be important. Yes, it’s easy to become absorbed by your responsibilities—but you’re not doing yourself any favors by shutting out the rest of the world. Even if you don’t have time to answer all of your emails, you can still smile at people in the hall and say a friendly hello to the cashier in the grocery store. Making positive connections will bring more happiness to you and to others.

“Have you noticed that although our society is more and more ‘connected’ by technology, we interact less and less with other people on a meaningful, face-to-face level than ever before?” Patkin asks. “Our plugged-in lifestyles aren’t doing us as many favors as we thought they would. Even when we’re not at work, we’re likely to be glued to our smartphones or laptops, which amps up our stress. Make a conscious effort to unplug and make a friendly connection with another human—even a simple smile or hello is great. The fact is, everyone on Earth is carrying some sort of burden. You can’t make their pain, stress, or grief just magically disappear…but you can be what I call a ‘lamp-lighter’—someone who makes others feel just a little bit lighter and happier on their journey, even if only for five seconds. When you make friendliness a habit, you’ll attract kindness and smiles in return…and you’ll feel great about yourself for making a positive difference in the world!”

12) Helping others is the soul food of life. One of the (many) negative side effects of our busy lives is that we tend to think mostly about ourselves: how much work we have left on that big presentation, how we’re going to find time to take the kids to sports practice and pick up groceries, and much, much more. No matter how busy you are now, consider helping others to be an integral part of the healthy work/life balance that will help you to avoid unhappiness. This will give you perspective, make you feel good, and will prevent you from staying in the negative me-focused cycle that was making you unhappy in the first place.

“Since my breakdown, I’ve become very involved in philanthropy,” Patkin shares. “I’ve found that it really is better to give than to receive, and that reaching out a helping hand to someone who isn’t as fortunate as you tends to quash selfish impulses and highlight your own blessings. Giving of yourself doesn’t have to involve money, either—remember that your time, talents, and compassion are just as valuable as cash, if not more so. Consider visiting a disabled veteran at the VA, or simply rolling your neighbor’s trashcan up the driveway! And if you have kids, you’ll be setting a wonderful example for them. I promise you, whether you’re giving time, energy, money, or encouragement, being generous will build up your self-esteem, broaden your perspective, keep you anchored in reality, and connect you to your blessings—all components of a happy life.”

13) It’s important to connect with something bigger than yourself. Yes, spirituality (much like politics) is a touchy subject. But according to Patkin, believing in something bigger than yourself is essential to developing the kind of perspective you need to be happy. Whether you consider your Higher Power to be God, Yahweh, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, the Universe, or even just Nature or another entity, being willing and able to see and feel His (or Her, if you prefer!) presence in your life will enable you to move away from self-centeredness and focus your energy and concerns on the greater community. It’ll also provide solace and give meaning to unfortunate events and troubling life circumstances.

“Personally, I’ve been connected to the Jewish faith for my entire life,” Patkin shares. “But it was only after my breakdown that I really allowed my faith to grow. My personal belief that God exists and cares about me has changed the way I view the world—but you don’t need to espouse my beliefs, or even join an organized religion and attend services regularly. What I do hope you’ll do is make an effort to clarify your thoughts about faith and also make an effort to connect to your Higher Power, whether it’s through prayer, meditation, writing in a journal, doing random acts of kindness, or just spending time in nature. Eventually, I hope you’ll begin to see your Higher Power as a source of inspiration, renewal, strength, guidance, and aid—as I do.”

14) A grateful heart is a happy heart. It’s very easy to take things for granted: the information your coworker emailed you, the fact that your car is running, and even the food you’re eating for dinner. The fact is, most of us have gotten into the habit of ignoring all of the good things in our lives. Instead, we focus our mental energy on being upset about what’s wrong and what we don’t have. Yes, cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” might be a clichéd concept, but the humility that comes from knowing you owe so much to so many others will, in turn, spur you to give back more often to those less fortunate than yourself. Plus, studies have actually shown that thankful individuals are 25 percent healthier than their counterparts, too!

“To start tapping into the power of gratitude, just say ‘thanks’ to the people who help you out during your day,” Patkin suggests. “And beyond that, try to notice all of the blessings in your life. If you live in America, you have access to great education, healthcare, and the freedom to worship and work as you choose. Those are huge things to be thankful for right out of the gate! We take these ‘basics’ and much more for granted, and we often have others—whether it’s an ancestor of ours, a veteran, or a coworker—to thank for them. It’s extremely important to be aware of all of your blessings, and to honor and thank those whom you owe.”

15) Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. All of the things Patkin has learned from his breakdown will help you to cut your stress levels, and they’ll also aid you in cultivating a more balanced, happier life. But he’s also adamant that feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed are all very serious, and he says that you shouldn’t expect yourself to easily “fix” these issues on your own.

“If you feel that you’re in over your head, or if your best efforts aren’t working, please reach out and ask for help,” says Patkin. “I might never have recovered after my breakdown without the help of my friends, family, and medical professionals. This is all big stuff. You shouldn’t—in fact, you can’t—make big changes in your life alone. At the very least, you’ll need the support of those who love you.”

“Ultimately, I’ve learned that the quality of your life is largely up to you,” Patkin concludes. “If you’re anything like me—and if you’re honest with yourself—you’ll have to confess that a striving, stressful lifestyle is not making you happy. I’ll admit that many of the changes I’m asking you to make in order to avoid more unhappiness (and perhaps even a breakdown) go against what society says you should do if you want to be successful. But I have found out the hard way that a ‘successful’ yet stressed out and unhappy life is certainly not, in reality, a truly successful life at all.”

About the Author
Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. Todd lives with his wonderful wife, Yadira, their amazing son, Josh, and two great dogs, Tucker and Hunter.

Take Your Time – It’s not an Emergency

To parents, the crib’s major benefit is its security and the safety that it has provided for the child. To the child, however, it is a nest, his safe haven from the mysterious world of adults. If your child is perfectly content staying in the crib, and has shown no inclination to escape, there is no reason from a developmental standpoint that he should be moved from it. Eventually, the child’s innate adventurous spirit will prompt him to get out of the crib on his own. When this happens, he is ready for the transition to the bed.

Ensure a Stress Free Transition

Often, the decision to move the child from the crib to a bed is made for the convenience of the parents due to some situational change in the family. A new baby may be on the way, requiring the use of the crib; a move to a new home or apartment may offer an opportunity to turn the nursery into a standard child’s bedroom. Many such situational changes can cause parents to force the transition from a crib; but it must be remembered that these situational changes affect the child as well as the parents. He will sense and share parental stress at these times, and have a greater need for the security and safety of his crib “nest.” When such situational changes are on the horizon, the prudent parent will prepare the child for the necessary transition over time to reduce its emotional impact.

Selecting Right Bed and Bedding

The transition from crib to bed will be easier if the bed is not intimidating and is easy for the child to get into and out of. If the crib was a convertible model, the child can watch as you make the adjustments to turn it into his bed. If you’re buying a new bed, let the toddler help to select one. The bed should be low enough to allow the toddler to climb into it unassisted, and a side rail is an important safety feature to keep the child from falling until he is old enough for its removal. New beds for toddlers should meet all of the safety requirements of modern cribs. If you are selecting a used bed, make sure that the paint finish is lead free and free of flaking, and that the assembled bed is mechanically sound.

Sometimes it’s not possible to let the toddler select his own bed, but it is always possible to let him select the bedding. Mom and Dad might focus upon a nursery rhyme theme for the sheets and pillow cases, whereas the toddler might have his eye set upon a Star Wars motif. If he is allowed to select the bedding, it will give him a sense of ownership. It will become his new “nest” and the crib will soon be forgotten.

Acclimate the Toddler to the Bed

I’ve spoken with some parents who have made the transition from crib to bed using the “cold turkey” approach. They have removed the crib and replaced it with the new bed, leaving the child with only one option. I don’t recommend that. If the child sees that his safety nest, his crib, is nearby, his anxiety about the transition is lessened. He sees that he can get back into the crib if he wants to.

The transition goes more smoothly if it is done in stages. Let the child play on the new bed before actually using it for sleeping or for naps. Once he is used to its presence, begin giving him naps in the bed. Once he is used to napping in the new bed, the transition to full time use will follow quickly. In a very short time, he will adapt to and accept the bed and his new role as a “big boy.”

Remove the Crib Ceremoniously

Once the bed becomes his new nest, the crib can be removed from the room. Make a ceremony out of its disassembly. Explain to him what is going to happen to the crib, whether it is to be stored or used by someone else. Let him help with the disassembly. He’ll feel much better about helping to remove the crib rather than having it taken away from him.

Christine Allen, a baby product hunter works for Livesnet, a site devoted to helping people find the perfect baby gears and offer helpful tips on dealing with the lovely but sometimes crazy little monsters. She loves to write about her hunting experience and give advice to new mommy hunters. So if you need any help, please go for Livesnet and do remember to check her most proud trophy – Mickey Mouse Crib Bedding.

Whether you’re traveling to visit family members across the country or get away and go someplace warm, you’re not alone if you find yourself in an airport terminal this winter. Luggage checks and gate changes have become just as much a part of the holiday season as tinsel and eggnog, after all, and those of us with travel plans can expect long lines, beefed-up security measures, and a generally hectic airport scene.

This probably won’t come as much of a surprise. Traveling – especially airplane travel – can be an incredibly stressful experience these days. But the stress of navigating a terminal and catching a flight on your own is nothing compared to the challenges of doing this with your kids in tow. Certainly, we love our families and wouldn’t want to travel during the holidays without our children with us. Even so, dealing with a crowded airport and a delayed flight can be a lot for a parent to handle.

On that note, here are a few suggestions for being at the airport with your kids this holiday season:

Bring Food

If you have kids, you probably are aware that children often get hungry at the most inconvenient of times. While an airport terminal is usually brimming with food options, these choices are routinely overpriced, unhealthy, and require considerable walking, luggage maneuvering, and overall hassle. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with getting airport food – but it’s probably best to be prepared and pack a few sandwiches.

Take Turns

For those of you traveling with children and with your spouse, it’s a good idea to take turns watching the kids when faced with a lengthy airport delay. Have one spouse sit with the kids at the gate while the other can go to the bathroom, get food, and browse the terminal. Then switch off and repeat as necessary.

Have Distractions Ready

Most people come to airports equipped with books, movies, and other products designed to pass the time. Make sure that your kids (and you) come equally prepared. Your children should have books and games sufficient not just for killing time during the flight, but also to act as a good distraction in the case of an airport delay.

Be Flexible

There are plenty of variables that sit outside of your control when you travel by air. This is only augmented when children are involved; not only do you need to get your luggage through security, into the terminal, and onto the flight, but now you have to do the same for your family members. Ultimately, then, it’s always best to budget a lot of time, be patient when things get stressful, and adapt and react to circumstances as necessary.

Going on a vacation can be a great way to bond with your family during the holiday season. It can be a relaxing, enjoyable, and refreshing opportunity to spend valuable time with your spouse and your kids. But before you get to your destination, make sure that you are adequately planned for the airport and for everything it may throw at you.

I wanted to make sure we were making Smart energy choices around the house because natural and electric are really expensive in this day and age. I talked to the kids about leaving the lights on all over the house and even my husband got in on it by installing a rain collector to water the plants with instead of running the sprinklers all the time. Not only is all of this helping cut down our energy bill (which was the ultimate goal) it’s really making me feel good about not being such a drain on the planet. I can’t believe some people don’t even notice stuff like this in their daily lives but to be honest, it took us until this year to really get into being conservationists. I think I’m going to look into solar panelssoon and you know, that makes me feel good. It’s better to be informed than to not and I’m doing my part to help make this world a better place for our children to live.

And still, children go missing.

Every day in the United States, 2,000 youngsters are reported missing, according to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Each year, 58,000 are taken by people unrelated to them and 200,000 are snatched by members of their own families. Sadly, there’s no relief in knowing the child may be with family.

George Molho knows that only too well. As a 7-year-old in 1978, he was taken to Greece from his home in Houston by his father, a man with a brutal temper, an obsessive need for control and a sadistic desire to inflict pain. No one, not even his mother, believed him when he anticipated his father’s plan to spirit him away and tried to warn them, Molho writes in his new memoir, Scarred.

Now a passionate advocate for child kidnapping and abuse victims, Molho says awareness of the problem and efforts to develop solutions that protect children should be a top national priority.

“One thing every parent can do to protect their children comes right from my own experience – and I don’t think parents know how very important it is,” Molho says.

“My mother thought I was being paranoid when I shared my worries with her. She took me to a psychologist, who said I was making up the story because I was upset that my parents weren’t living together anymore.”

When young children express fear or concern about even a close friend or family member, adults tend to chalk it up to shyness, a ploy for attention, or fantasy, Molho says.

“Trust your child’s instincts,” he says. “If they act uncomfortable around someone because they can’t verbalize their
feelings, or if they tell you they’re uncomfortable, trust them. No matter who it is, if they tell you a person scares them, protect them.”

Molho offers these other lesser-known tips for protecting children from kidnappers, whether they’re friends or family:

• TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO FIB ON THE PHONE. If they’re home alone, for instance, and someone calls asking to speak to their mother or father, they might say, “My mother’s busy in the kitchen right now and asked me to answer the phone and take a message.” Put them to the test by having someone they don’t know, one of your friends or co-workers, call.

• MAKE APPROVED LISTS OF PEOPLE WHO WILL DELIVER ANY IMPORTANT NEWS TO THEM. If Mom or Dad is in trouble or hurt, only these people will know and will tell the child. Even if Uncle Bob tells them Mom is in the hospital and the child needs to go with Uncle Bob, if he’s not on the approved list, the child should not go. This is a common ploy.

• TEACH THEM, TRAIN THEM AND GIVE THEM PERMISSION TO DEFEND THEMSELVES. This is very important and it saves lives. Most children are taught to be polite and respect adults; it’s far safer to risk offending an adult – even if it turns out the adult meant no harm. Screaming, kicking and running away are perfectly acceptable if a stranger grabs your arm – even if the stranger is smiling sweetly.

ABOUT GEORGE MOLHO
George Molho worked as a health-care consultant for 15 years before becoming a writer and public speaker, addressing domestic abuse, child abduction, and recovering from trauma through self-reflection. He lives in Houston, where he has volunteered as a board member for several Texas charities and agencies that assist children and the elderly.

I am an avid watcher of the show Hoarders.

Something about watching this show fascinates me or maybe it’s because after watching the show, I feel a little bit better about myself and what I consider a “mess” in my home.  Either way, the show is rather addicting.  It’s my guilty pleasure.

After every episode, I am usually making mental lists in my head of what I can live with and what I cannot live without.  I now have a fear of getting older, collecting things and living like this.  And with my home still being under construction (we’re renovating), I am constantly keeping tabs on myself to make sure I am not allowing to much “mess” to accumulate.  Hence, the reason Katy Junk removal comes to mind frequently.  They remove anything and everything from your home, yard, business, etc.

Below is a list of items they remove:

• Appliance Removal
• Refrigerator Removal
• Mattress Removal
• Furniture Removal
• Carpet Removal
• TV Removal
• Tire Removal
• Computer Recycling
• Printer Recycling
• Monitor Recycling
• Leaf Removal
• Rubbish Removal
• Garbage Removal Alternative
• Dumpster Alternative
• Trash Removal Alternative
• Disaster Preparation

If you have a little extra “junk” in your home that needs professional help, I’d highly recommend looking at a junk removal company.

Mortgage refinancing, as with anything, may or may not be a suitable option for everyone.  There are several pros and cons to refinancing, so be certain it is the right option for you.  Below are some of tips I find extremely helpful.*

Pros: Four reasons to refinance your mortgage

Consider a mortgage refinance now if one or more of these four conditions apply to you:

• ARM rates are rising above market rates. As interest rates increase, ARM loan payments do too. Homeowners concerned about payments, and whose rate is higher than current fixed mortgage interest rates, might consider a mortgage refi. Many economists forecast basically stable interest rates, but with the amount of uncertainty in financial markets, there’s no telling. You can begin the process with a mortgage lender and have him or her watch rates for you to establish a good time to lock your loan.
• Refinancing is affordable. Refinancing involves expenses that can total around 2 percent of the total loan amount. Typically, financial advisers suggest a mortgage refi is worthwhile if the savings on payments will pay for the refinancing costs within two years. Homeowners can calculate their own “break-even” date by dividing the up-front cost (the figure on the Good Faith Estimate form) by the anticipated monthly savings. The answer is the number of months it will take to pay off the refinance — and sooner is better.
• You’ve grown roots. Homeowners who plan to stay in their home for a long period of time might find that a mortgage refi makes sense. If you have a long term left on your mortgage payments, and your rate is higher than market rates — or you have an ARM or balloon-payment loan and want the security of a fixed rate — you’ll likely meet the “break-even” criteria outlined above.
• One loan is better than two. For homeowners with a first mortgage as well as a second mortgage with a high rate, a mortgage refi can combine the two loans into one. Second mortgages usually have adjustable rates. If the second mortgage has a hefty balance, today’s borrowers might be better off rolling the two loans into one. Compare current loans with refinancing options with an online calculator such as the one at the Federal Reserve Board Mortgage Comparison Calculator.

Cons: Three reasons not to refinance your mortgage

Wait to refinance your mortgage if one or more of these three conditions apply to you:

• Your credit isn’t stellar. Those who have made credit mistakes (such as late payments, especially on the mortgage) will benefit from spending a few months cleaning up their act before applying for a mortgage refi. Paying on time and reducing or eliminating credit card balances will earn a better refinanced mortgage rate.
• Life is in flux. Homeowners should not invest in a mortgage refi if they might sell the home within a year or two. Divorce, job relocation, or even a big raise might make you rethink your residence. Refinance when your life is more stable.
• The clock is ticking on private mortgage insurance (PMI) payments. Most lenders require PMI for borrowers whose mortgage balance is greater than 80 percent of the price of their home. When the loan value falls below 80 percent of the home’s value, borrowers may be able to request elimination of PMI. Some loans may even require borrowers to refinance to eliminate PMI.

* Tips are courtesy of bills.com.