Panama After Hours

for sale: super cool panama city apartment

cojito — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:55:00 +0000

the hood: this apartment is in an older, structurally sound, 6 story building, located in the desirable el cangrejo area. centrally located. you won’t need a car. however, there’s secure parking if you want one.

calle alberto navarro is a safe tree-lined street with easy walking to restaurants, bars, coffee shops, Chinese market, ATM’s, banks, drug store, supermarket, Spanish schools, gym, bakeries, and casinos.

This is one of the very best neighborhoods in Panama City. and calle Alberto Navarro is easily the best street in el cangrejo.

the crib: Renovated (new wiring, hardwood doors, plumbing, cabinets, fixtures etc), freshly painted, 3 bed, 2 bath apartment on the 4th floor (tree level). it gets a killer sea breeze and most times there’s no need for a fan or air-conditioner.

Secure parking, low monthly fee, video intercom, elevator, gas hot water, air conditioning, good neighbors, pets OK, cable TV, high speed internet, nice balcony and bar area.

actual size: as i noted, there’s one large bedroom with a double closet and master bath (full shower), one smaller bedroom with full closet, a 3rd bedroom/den/office, a smaller maid’s bathroom (full shower), dinning area, kitchen, laundry area. also, many owners choose to enclose the balcony to make the living area even larger. total interior size equals 96 meters squared.

Update: I saw your ad in craiglist. How much are all of the costs, taxes, condo fees etc? Is there security in the building? Is there an elevator? Does it have a pool? Any other info will be appreciated.

Right now there are no taxes on the apartment. But I believe there will be taxes for the next owner. A rough guess would be about $350 hundred a year. The condo fee is only $100 a month. That includes gas, water, building maintenance, exterior insurance, management, and the salary of our doorman.

There is also an $80 a month assessment that’ll run for another year. The assessment is for a new elevator. The existing elevator works, but is an older model. There is no security (other than a video cam), because it’s cheaper, and safer without them.

There’s no pool. The maintenance fee’s for buildings with pools is typically over $300 a month. And few people swim in Panama pools. Maybe because it gets so hot and humid the water turns into sancocho, or maybe because they live in a tropical paradise and can just head out to the beach.

this apartment’s value is due to the location not its features or furnishings. We’ve lived here for 5 years. This is a great location: safe, easy, central, cheap. And if any buyer doesn’t like something - anything, it’s not a big deal to change it. Labor is cheap in Panama. And it’s easier to repair or upgrade something than it is to find an affordable apartment in a great location

Contact: the apartment can be seen anytime. use the Panama After Hours contact page or the comments section below to inquire or ask questions.

selling furnished or unfurnished: $99,800

Tropical Survival Tip #34 (escorts)

cojito — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:04:45 +0000

So I’m working on RSS feeds when I come across this:

Biracial caramel BBW Beauty - Open to Travel

I know. Sounds almost too good to be true.

For only $1k plus travel expenses, Vee, a mixed race BBW, promises to rock your weekend in the Caribbean. I don’t know how she came up with the thousand dollar price tag. Maybe she’s charging by the pound.

In fairness, the airlines do have new weight restrictions. If you plan to stay longer with Vee the price goes up. Which is fair. No doubt she’s as good in bed as she is beautiful. Although you may have a fight on your hands for the last Dove Bar.

It could get ugly. And you want your vacation to be relaxing. So my advice is travel solo. It’s easy to meet women of color south of the border. There’s absolutely no reason to drag a girl with low blood sugar along.

A thousand dollars goes a long way in Central America, South America, and the Caribbean. For the price of a nice dinner, a couple of mojitos, and a new pair of shoes the local girls will follow you anywhere.

On the net - Craigslist

Got Wood?

cojito — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 23:30:23 +0000

Every year the “miss reef international” competition is held in panama, and every year the smart money is on a sexy Colombiana. not so much because Colombians are hotter, or because they do so much better in the ~~fellatio~~ talent part of the the competition, but because they are the only bikini models known to carry machetes.

even with the threat of kidnapping and decapitation, two costa rican beauties, and a sexy Panamanian chica won over this year’s crowd at playa venao. delante was there to record it all. but they came away with a jumpy, out of focus mess that makes the magruder film seem like pulp fiction.

that’s why i think they all should be tarred, feathered, and driven from the city limits. here was an opportunity to document some of the finest culitos on the ithums, and it looks like delante’s man was too busy rubbing one out to focus the damn camera.

video after the leap … (more…)

mi ranchito

cojito — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:18:29 +0000

i spend most of my time ~~drunk~~ writing in el cangrejo, and sometimes i forget how beautiful panama can be. all it takes is a 5 or 10 minute cab ride and you’re ready to rejoin the wild.

this weekend my girl friend, her sis and i got a chance to do balboa and isla naos. that’s not exactly dodging rebels and poisonous snakes in the darien gap. but we did run into a couple of colombian hookers, and the fierce breeze ripping across isla naos almost knocked my hat off. (more…)

Getting Married in Panama

cojito — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:48:57 +0000

“Getting married in Panama is easy”

that seems to be the consensus of websites topping my “how to get married in Panama” interweb search. Some of them temper the “easy” bit by adding, “provided you have all the necessary paperwork and follow the correct procedures.”

of course that’s like saying swimming lake gatun is easy, provided you’ve read up on crocodiles, and can swim really fast.

except for finding corrupt officials, growing pineapples, or getting hit by a killer bus, nothing is easy in panama. say you really are foolish enough to get married. and you’ve come all this way to meet the love of your life: a simple chola with dirty feet and scary sex drive.

this is a happy time for you. you’ve got your script for blue pills, paid off her burro, bought her mama new teeth. you’ve even remembered to bring certified and stamped court documents of your birth and divorce. now all you need is a judge or priest to say a few meaningless words at your ~~funeral~~ blessed union and you’re ready to pound wally pound.

not so fast pendejo. (more…)