Panda Death Squad

Panda's Devour Bamboo To Prepare Teeth For Human Flesh

2017-09-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

Oh no

2017-04-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

This is why I've not been posting.

What do?

Panda Cannibals

2016-03-13T15:33:00.002-07:00

If they'll attack themselves, how do we know we're safe?

#pandapocalypse

Panda's are dangerous.

2016-02-15T17:21:00.000-08:00

I know there aren't many of us out there who see Panda's true faces, but that's why I try to keep posting.

Be vigilant in the fight against the Panda Pretenders friends.

Panda Attack

2016-01-20T01:23:00.002-08:00

We've all been there before. Camping in some distant jungle somewhere near Laos, when suddenly there the black and white devil is. Only in that moment when it's lunging for you do you realize all the monster wants is to get you (Did you know Panda's don't actually eat meat? When they kill other creatures including us, it's just for sport).

It's then you realize that nature's teddy bear (as the ignorant public wants so badly to believe), is nothing more than a wild monster prowling the jungle in search of a thrill.

Don't let them catch you off guard.

"The Pandamic"

2016-01-14T01:48:00.003-08:00

These cunning bastards. It seems in my extended absence the internet has continued to experience what I (as a expert Panda fighter) call "The Pandamic".

These violent monsters may look nice and cuddly. They may even pretend to just be natures lovable retards, but they are anything but.

Crafty, cruel, and corrupt these devil-spawn are pure evil.

We're onto you, you bamboo munching bastards.

Panda City

2012-10-30T00:02:00.001-07:00

ATTN: All panda haters, I am deep undercover trying to seek out the Panda stronghold. I am led to believe that their "endangered" status is merely a ploy, and that they're in fact trying to amass an army to conquer a city and establish their place as an intelligent race.

Be warned, the image you are about to see may shatter your will, and force you into the fetal position.

Panda Hospital Murder

2012-10-29T23:59:00.001-07:00

As you can see, these Panda bastards want you dead. They've even begun resorting to peddling drugs (They like to call it 'Cheese' on the street.)

We've lost many to these horrific monsters.

Young Panda's Trained In Stealth.

2012-10-25T23:33:00.001-07:00

Warning: Do not allow your children to view this horrific display.

These Panda's are what people in the counter-intelligence sector call, Ninja's.

They are masters of disguise, capable of blending in with whatever their surroundings just so happen to be. Nature tried to corrupt these soulless bastards, attempting to save us by bleaching their fur white and black... Unfortunately the Panda hive mind has discovered how to beat this.

They portray themselves as wildlife. Cute, cuddly and almost like a stuffed animal.

Of course their is one thing that can save you from falling victim to their trap. Their eyes. Those soulless beady little portals of evil.

Remember my fellow PDS'ers the awwww's are what they are trying to illicit from you. Just so they can get you in close and rip your head off.

-PDS

Back from my extended death.

2012-10-25T23:26:00.004-07:00

Alright, so I know it's been a while. As such I am going to be starting up my one-man crusade again, with a tiny bit of change.

This time I will be providing my own in-depth analysis to accompany the many videos that are spreading like wildfire.

I warn you though, while these videos seem cute and adorable. . .
They're actually something far more pervasive and sinister. Please, as you view these videos be sure to remember: Panda's are nature's liars.

Do you really believe a bear would eat only bamboo? Me either.

Panda Training Camp

2011-06-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

Do not be fooled by the human-sounding voices in the background.

This poor man was thrown into the habitat of some captured infant panda's as punishment for stealing a recipe for some tea. Even at a young age their malicious attitudes towards human's show true.

Be warned, this video is not for the young or squeamish.

Haters Gonna Hate.

2011-06-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

After some serious bad-news with people trying to hack my blog, as well as have it banned, I've finally got full control once again!

As for the people (or should I say malicious bears) who carried this out... Well you just wait! I'll get you.

In other news. Beware.

That's right. This infection we all know as the 'Panda' has spread to other countries. I know they hate us here in America... But maybe the Panda threat is something we can all get behind. Perhaps this will be what unites us as human beings.

Of course the Panda's are crafty, and some nut jobs out there will still defend them. But we all know those are the Panda's familiars. (If you're not familiar with what a familiar is... Get familiar with the term familiar. Cause it basically means Panda bitch.)

Good luck fellow Panda Slayers. Stay vigilant.

Post Something!

2010-05-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

Make a comment. Tell me how you found this blog! Or even offer up some Panda News!

We need to show the Panda Threat, we're not afraid. And that we're here to stay.

PDS! GO GO GO!

What Panda's Eat...

2010-04-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

Please my friends and fellow Panda haters. These horrible creatures are hiding a secret. A secret that I've recently discovered.

We know they've always eaten orphans: Read the evidence HERE.

But now I've discovered... They also eat full grown people!

Panda Hell

2010-04-04T00:10:00.001-07:00

Finally we get a glimpse of what hell really looks like. I am scared.

Proposal

2010-04-01T12:13:00.000-07:00

Anyone think maybe we could just kill off the Panda's and name something else Panda? I don't like. Penguins? There are a bajillion types of penguins. Why not call one set Panda's after we eradicate that horrid race of monsters?

It'll make sense. Someday.

Panda Posers

2010-03-30T17:29:00.000-07:00

I don't get it. Why these people buy these masks... Searching for some false alternative. Are they agents of the Panda's? Do they not understand the gravity of our situation!? How these home-destroying cretins have fenangled their way into our lives?!

It's pretty sad that we're slumping that low as humans, to where we want a demonic creatures face more then our own.

But I have faith in my fellow human! Maybe it is so we can infiltrate their ranks...

So my fellow Panda haters. Only purchase such masks with the intent of degrading (Or destroying) the Panda Race!

Panda Mask (Foam) [Toy] [Toy]

Panda's The True Face.

2010-03-30T02:26:00.000-07:00

While I've known their true looks for a while now.

This may shock any of you new to the Panda Conspiracy.

Just Making Sure You're All Safe

2010-03-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

With the Pandageddon so close, I wanted to check in with those of you who check in frequently. Are you okay? If you're reading this, then you are.

If not... Well telling you how to reach me wont really help.

On a side note. Watch out. I heard the Panda's recently allied themselves with Dolphin's. What does that mean for us?

Well that our Tuna is no longer safe. For shame.

South Korean Ship Sinks Near North Korea!

2010-03-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

I heard about this, and I know it might sound scary. That's because it is my fellow Panda Destroyers. It's a ploy by our enemy to try and bring the world to a crushing end. (At least for us humans.)

You see I've received information a Panda by the name of, "Get-Sum" had snuck aboard the ship and sabotaged it.

The images I am about to show you... Are disturbing you've been warned.

Iceland Volcanic Activity... Equals Panda's On Fire?!

2010-03-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I recently read that Iceland is in fact melting (Hahaha there's my pun.) And this leads me to believe I have found a BEAUTIFUL solution to the Pandageddon.

Instead of hunting the beasts one by one. Let's lure them out to Iceland (We can claim it's orphan hunting season there. Those Panda bastards seem to feed largely on Orphans.)

Once we know the majority is there. We get a bulldozer and push them all into the lava.

It's not that great a theory on paper. But I think once executed it'll work on wonderfully. Please refer to the pictures for detail of my master plan.

The Pandageddon...

2010-03-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

To my fellow Panda Haters. This is a warning. The Pandageddon is on it's way. 2012? Bogus. Utter crap. But this... This is real.

Stock pile your supplies, build your bunkers, and move far from any Panda nests. (Remember the zoo's.)

These monsters are just waiting to ambush us all!

Penguins: The Better Black + White Animal

2010-03-25T11:36:00.000-07:00

They've finally done it. The Penguins have actually killed one of their rivals. The well-named "Kill Ling-Ling from the inside out" was a simple plan. Allow the large monster to devour one of their young...

And wait. Days passed but finally the small bird pecked and fluttered it's way to victory. Though this is but a small victory in our conquest against the Panda threat...

It is one the Panda Death Squad will affectionately hold close to the chest.

We finally have an ally friends. And their name is Penguin. The only endangered animal I'd fight for.

Panda's AREN'T NICE

2010-03-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

How long before the masses grasp this idea? Mother Nature wants these hell spawn gone. STOP TRYING TO SAVE THEM. We don't care about the ugly animals, but because of this devilish creature's facade of cute-ness (Note I am NOT saying they're cute.) people want to save them.

As if one day the population could each have a pet Panda. I could hug my dog, I couldn't hug this beast.

Oh and for the record internet sympathizers. These beasts aren't pure herbivores. And even if they were, Bamboo has feelings too.

Word.

Panda's... The Next Flavor Of Anti-Christ

2010-03-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

So I was trying to figure out.

"Why do so many people think them cute?!"

Was it the fur? No. People don't think skunks are cute. Could it be the colors? No. Again people don't think skunks colors are cute. The sunk in eyes? Probably not... Maybe it's the large black circles around them? Doubtful they just serve to hide their soulless eyes!

So what was it? I couldn't figure it out.

But I did find a scary similarity. Baby Panda's look like the baby anti-Christ.

Yeah I said it. I'm brave enough too. If I don't awaken tomorrow... Well. At least you know I got the word out!

Oh and so I can piggy back on this revenue gold mine. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Two-Disc Special Edition)

Ya know. Cause if putting those kids on anything sells stuff. Maybe it'll help spread Panda Hate.

We can only hope.