Culled from several different sources, and I definitely would need a shoutout to the Thoughtful Dreamer for the main inspiration. Once I pick my brain off the floor, I might be doing some Settings templates as well! Personality types are based on the Jungian Psychological Topology (I provided brief descriptions of each), and a summary of archetypes based on both Joseph Campbell’s the Hero with a Thousand Faces and Carolyn Myss’ list of archetypes.

(And if you’re wondering – yes, I did buy Scrivener.)

You are not required to use every section of the template, only parts that you feel are necessary!

=========================================
THE BASICS
=========================================

Name:
Nicknames:

Gender:
Age:
Birth Date:
Birth Place:
Currently Living In:
Species:
Ethnicity / Race:
Citizenship:
Religion / Beliefs:

Astrology Sign:
Chinese Animal / Zodiac Year:
Blood Type:
Chinese Element:

=========================================
FAMILY
=========================================
Father:
Age:
Relationship:

Mother:
Age:
Relationship:

Brother(s):
1.
Age:
Relationship:

2.
Age:
Relationship:

3.
Age:
Relationship:

Sister(s):
1.
Age:
Relationship:

2.
Age:
Relationship:

3.
Age:
Relationship:

Spouse:
Age:
Relationship:

Children:
1.
Age:
Relationship:

2.
Age:
Relationship:

3.
Age:
Relationship:

Extended Family Member(s):
1.
Age:
Relationship:

2.
Age:
Relationship:

3.
Age:
Relationship:

Pet(s):

=========================================
PHYSICAL FEATURES:
=========================================

Height:
Weight:
Frame / Build:
Hair length:
Hair color:
Eye shape:
Eye color:
Complexion:
Face size (broad, narrow, etc.):
Voice type:
Foot size:
Tattoo(s):
Scar(s):
Other notable accessories:
Any other identifying mark(s):

=========================================
SOCIO / ECONOMIC / POLITICAL
=========================================

Politicial Affiliation:
Economic Class:
Social Class (nobility, artisan, merchant, commoner, etc.):
Occupation:
Income:
Residence:
Transportation:

=========================================
INTERESTS
=========================================

Favorite Food(s):
Favorite Sport(s):
Favorite Book(s):
Favorite Show(s):
Favorite Music:
Favorite Color(s):
Clothing Style / Preferences:
Hobbies:
Role Model(s):
Likes:
Dislikes:

=========================================
PERSONALITY
=========================================

Good Qualities / Trait(s):
Vices / Negative Trait(s):
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Habits / Idiosyncrasies / Quirks:
Phobia / Fears:
Loves:
Hates:

Select one personality type below that best describes your character:

PROTECTORS

[] Overseer (ESTJ) – Thrives on facts and details. Has a clear set of standards and beliefs. They are hardworking, responsible, and self-confident. They rely on experiences rather than speculation, and make decisions based on these. Very good at enforcing laws and rules. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Very organized, tends to be a stickler for the rules.

[] Supporter (ESFJ) – Popular, and most sociable of all the types. Respects authority and values traditions. Has a strong desire to be liked, and therefore tends to want to serve others’ needs, sometimes at the expense of their own.

[] Examiner (ISTJ) – A very keen sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. Responsible especially in their field of expertise, devoted and punctual. Very thorough, and tends to put duty before pleasure. They are very thorough, honest, and seek to accomplish anything they put their minds to. Follows the rules and does not tend to be adventurous. Likes conformity. Can sometimes have a surprising offbeat sense of humor.

[] Defender (ISFJ) – Puts the needs of others before themselves, to a point where they tend to give more than they receive. Quiet and conscientious. Modest and tends to be a spectator. They do what is expected of them without attracting attention to themselves. Sensitive to the feelings of others, and has a very good memory, especially when it comes to observing other people. Can be easily hurt. Very painstaking when it comes to detail.

CREATORS

[] Persuader (ESTP) – Realists. Enthusiastic people of action who like to explore and use their senses to explore the world. Likes sports and are risk-takers. They live in the (preferably) fast-paced here and now, and thrive on problems and crises. Often fearless and dominates conversations. Unafraid of criticism. Blunt and very straightforward. Does not necessarily follow the law if it gets in the way of what they want.

[] Entertainer (ESFP) – Lively and cooperative, they like being the center of attention and do not like being alone. They like exciting things and new adventures. Often likes to play the host, and understand how to motivate people to get a job done. They are efficient workers and make good problem solvers, and they generally get along with most people.

[] Crafstman (ISTP) – Independent and adventurous, they like figuring out how things work. Great mechanical and technical skills, they are often the troubleshooters. They are adventurous and like living for the moment. Sometimes unemotional, have simple desires, and prefer intellectual pursuits. Do not often like to follow rules, preferring to do things their way. Quiet and reserved.

[] Artist (ISFP) – Creative, quiet, serious, loyal and sensitive. Do not like conflict. Takes great value in personal freedom. Private and prone to confusion. Gifted at creating and composing. Good appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Very original and creative especially in the arts. Can be trendsetters and into latest styles and art / fashion / etc.

INTELLECTUALS

[] Chief (ENTJ) – Natural leaders, strategic and very organized. Outspoken and decisive, and values competency and efficiency. Very resolute and has a knack for arguments / debates. Competitive, assertive and outspoken. Understands difficult problems and create quick and viable solutions for them. Intelligent and well-informed, they do not have much patience with inefficiency. Dominant and assertive, does not like to be bored.

[] Originator (ENFP) – Inventive and idea people. Love to argue to show off their skills and intelligence. Prefers the startup phase of a project where the risks and problems are greater, than turning over the lead to someone else once these are solved. Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Great people skills. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, and able to make others enthusiastic over their ideas and projects.

[] Engineer (INFP) – Quiet, logical, and idealistic. Not interested in calling attention to themselves unless their beliefs / principles are violated, where they will then become outspoken and argumentative. A thinker whose inner private world is governed by a logical structure. Analyze difficult problems and find patterns. Has a system-building approach to problems. Likes solitude and are rule breakers. Unemotional, often acts without consulting others.

[] Strategist (INTJ) – Introspective, analytical, has great leadership ability, independent, original, and determined. Does not mind other people’s leadership as long as they are competent. Can bring ideas from concept to reality. Expects perfection from themselves. Chessboard thinkers with contingency plans. Hard to impress and likes esoteric things. Independent individualists.

VISIONARIES

[] Mentor (ENFJ) – Positive, popular, altruistic, religious and sensitive, with excellent people skills. Can be good salesmen. Concerned for other people’s feelings. Focused on understanding and encouraging others. Does not like impersonal analysis. Can be image conscious. Often has very good charisma, and can easily convince others. Has a very positive personality. Excellent language skills, and would make for natural leaders.

[] Advocate (ENTP) – Often works for causes and can be very expressive regarding their views. They want to call attention to what they stand for. Spontaneous and social but can be disogranized and act without thinking. Excited and passionate about things, and motivate others to feel the same. Always want to make the most out of life. Best of all the personality types at social and emotional coping. Ranked 2nd of all the types in using cognitive resources. Places great importance in friendships, even at the risk of being taken advantage of.

[] Confidant (INFJ) – Intensely private and committed to their beliefs. Highly intuitive, emphatic and dedicated listeners. Quietly forceful and sensitive. The rarest personality type, especially with males. Focused on fantasy more than reality. Fears doing the wrong thing. Tend to work quietly behind the scenes and influence people than be leaders. Perservering, especially when it comes to doing the right thing. Very individualistic, rather than leading or following, but can work with groups to accomplish a goal.

[] Dreamer (INTP) – Tend to be very private, and does not let a lot of people get close. They are loners and tend to avoid conflicts. The act of creating can already be an accomplishment of instill a sense of satisfaction. Constantly search for values in life, and tend to use their intuition to do so. Logical, original, creative thinkers. Can become very excited about theories and ideas. Exceptionally capable and driven to turn theories into clear understandings. Want to be recognized and valued, but without attention. Never lose their sense of wonder.

Define your character’s personality based on the following aspects:

a. Physically (outward interaction with his environment, personal strengths)
b. Psychologically (intellect, mental stability, morality)
c. Spiritually (his faith, convictions)
d. Emotionally (willpower, under stressful situations, expressiveness)
e. Socially (how others view him, how he interacts with people)

Others things to know:

=========================================
HISTORY
=========================================

1. Describe the character’s childhood.

2. Name the good incidents that have happened in the character’s life. How has this shaped his personality?

3. Name bad experiences that have happened in the character’s life. How has this shaped his personality?

4. What is the character doing when first introduced? What are his goals at this point?
4a. Do these goals change at any point in the story?

=========================================
STORY DEVELOPMENT:
=========================================

CHARACTER ARCHETYPE: (Put an X on all applicable boxes)

[] Addict (Conspicuous Consumer, Glutton, Workaholic–see also Gambler)
[] Advocate (Attorney, Defender, Legislator, Lobbyist, Environmentalist)
[] Alchemist (Wizard, Magician, Scientist, Inventor–see also Visionary)
[] Angel (Fairy Godmother/Godfather)
[] Antagonist (Opposing View, not necessarily the Evil Bad — see also Villain)
[] Anti-Hero
[] Artist (Artisan, Craftsperson, Sculptor, Weaver)
[] Athlete (Olympian)
[] Avenger (Avenging Angel, Savior, Messiah)
[] Beggar (Homeless person/ Indigent)
[] Bully (Coward)
[] Catalyst
[] Child (Orphan, Wounded, Magical/Innocent, Nature, Divine, Puer/Puella Eternis, or Eternal Boy/Girl)
[] Clown (Court Jester, Fool, Dummling)
[] Companion (Friend, Sidekick, Right Arm, Consort)
[] Damsel (Princess)
[] Destroyer (Attila, Mad Scientist, Serial Killer, Spoiler)
[] Detective (Spy, Double Agent, Sleuth, Snoop, Sherlock Holmes, Private Investigator, Profiler–see also Warrior/Crime Fighter)
[] Dilettante (Amateur)
[] Don Juan (Casanova, Gigolo, Seducer, Sex Addict)
[] Engineer (Architect, Builder, Schemer)
[] Exorcist (Shaman)
[] Father (Patriarch, Progenitor)
[] Femme Fatale (Black Widow, Flirt, Siren, Circe, Seductress, Enchantress)
[] Gambler
[] God (Adonis, see also Hero)
[] Gossip (see also Networker)
[] Guide (Guru, Sage, Crone, Wise Woman, Spiritual Master, Evangelist, Preacher)
[] Healer (Wounded Healer, Intuitive Healer, Caregiver, Nurse, Therapist, Analyst, Counselor)
[] Hedonist (Bon Vivant, Chef, Gourmet, Gourmand, Sybarite–see also Mystic)
[] Hermit (see also Wise old Man)
[] Hero/Heroine (see also Knight, Warrior)
[] Judge (Critic, Examiner, Mediator, Arbitrator)
[] King (Emperor, Ruler, Leader, Chief — see also Politician)
[] Knight in SHining Armor
[] Liberator
[] Lover
[] Martyr
[] Mediator (Ambassador, Diplomat, Go-Between)
[] Mentor (Master, Counselor, Tutor)
[] Messiah (Redeemer, Savior)
[] Midas/Miser
[] Monk/Nun (Celibate)
[] Mother (Matriarch, Mother Nature)
[] Mystic (Renunciate, Anchorite, Hermit)
[] Networker (Messenger, Herald, Courier, Journalist, Communicator)
[] Pioneer (Explorer, Settler, Pilgrim, Innovator)
[] Poet
[] Politician (see also King)
[] Priest (Priestess, Minister, Rabbi, Evangelist)
[] Prince
[] Prostitute
[] Queen (Empress)
[] Rebel (Anarchist, Revolutionary, Political Protester, Nonconformist, Pirate)
[] Rescuer
[] Saboteur
[] Samaritan
[] Scribe (Copyist, Secretary, Accountant–see also Journalist)
[] Seeker (Wanderer, Vagabond, Nomad)
[] Servant (Indentured Servant)
[] Shape-shifter (Spell-caster–see also Trickster)
[] Slave
[] Spectre (Ghost / Apparition with Unresolved issues)
[] Storyteller (Minstrel, Narrator)
[] Student / Scholar (Disciple, Devotee, Follower, Apprentice)
[] Teacher (Instructor, see also Mentor)
[] Thief (Swindler, Con Artist, Pickpocket, Burglar, Robin Hood)
[] Threshold Guardian
[] Trickster (Puck, Provocateur)
[] Turncoat
[] Vampire
[] Victim
[] Villain / Shadow (Big Bad of the story; see also Antagonist)
[] Virgin (see also Celibate)
[] Visionary (Dreamer, Prophet, Seer–see also Guide, Alchemist)
[] Warrior (Soldier, Crime Fighter, Amazon, Mercenary, Soldier of Fortune, Gunslinger, Samurai)
[] Wise old Man (see also Hermit)

1. What are the motivations for the character’s actions?

2. What are the character’s goals / ambition / dreams?

3. What external conflicts would you wish for the character to overcome?
3a. What are the obstacles in the character’s path that might make this difficult?

4. What inner conflicts would you wish for the character to overcome?
4a. What are the obstacles in the character’s path that might make this difficult?

=========================================
ABILITIES
=========================================

Aliases:

Team affiliations:

Powers / special abilities:

Other skills:

Weaknesses / Kryptonite:

=========================================
AUTHOR’S NOTES / MISCELLANY
=========================================

Character theme song:

Celebrity / IRL lookalike:

List down any future plot twists / conflicts you are planning for the character here (for series, companion books, etc.):

So in the spirit of YA love and flowcharts, here’s the flowchart of my favorite female character in the Harry Potter books, Bellatrix L’estrange who, ironically, was one of the two people that killed off my favorite male character in the series. (The other one was J.K. Rowling.)

All featured flowcharts can be viewed in larger resolutions by clicking on the images!

And here’s an attempt at a flowchart using Terry Prachett’s Granny Weatherwax, from his Discworld series:

I also kinda figured this would be a great exercise for characters in my WIPs and current manuscripts, so here’s a couple more.  The first is my main protagonist from Firekeeper:

This one’s a little trickier – the dead female lead (I’m not so sure I should refer to her as a ‘heroine’) from my work-in-progress. Not as cuss-y as the flowchart implies, it just sounded fun to do in this vein.

Has anyone else made their own attempts at character flowcharts, fan-based or otherwise?

Uh-huh. Cause I am fly like that.

There aren’t a lot of things sexier than listening to Pat Monahan’s voice, except maybe listening to Pat Monahan’s voice while he’s singing four feet away from where you and a horde of other girls are gathered, shrieking for a lock of his chest hair and punching bouncers for getting in their line of vision. (That he started peeling at least one layer of clothing off after every song might have contributed to this.) I am trying to sound cool and cocky as I write this like I hadn’t succumbed to the teenage fangirl mob mentality at any point during the concert, but unfortunately I was right up there with the rest of my crazed Train-loving soul sisters, screaming my lungs out.

But the biggest surprise came when he sang “Marry Me”.

Yes, this “Marry Me”.

At this point, Pat Monahan abandons the stage and begins dancing his way through the crowd like the stampede of girls suddenly attempting to track the coordinates of his booty-shaking path down the aisles ISN’T HIS FAULT AT ALL, NO SIREEBOB. But what startled me was when he picks up a hysterical girl’s camera, aims it in both their directions, and snaps a photo on the fly. Then he hands the camera back to the now-orgasming lady, finds another camera, and takes another photo of himself and a lucky fan.

Eventually, dozens of girls are now waving their camera screenshots in the air and hollering like mad, and from every one I could see he had captured the photos perfectly. Centered images, no heads were sliced or harmed in the making of this picture kind of good. It’s hard enough to take pictures of yourself, much less if it’s not even your camera to begin with.

Holy shit, I thought. For all his suave and talent and booty, I never would have expected Pat Monahan to not only possess the same skill subset as your average narcissistic thirteen-year old tween, but that he would pwn it so, so hard.

And then, because writing is never that far away from my mind even when you’re in the same breathing space as one of your favorite celebrities, that got me thinking about characters. One of my favorite fictional characters is a little Belgian detective with an egg-shaped head, named Hercule Poirot. He’s very dapper and elegant, dines at only the best restaurants with unpronounceable French meals, and has bank drafts of four hundred and forty-four pounds and four ounces. He likes toast because bread is symmetrically shaped. For all his finickiness and seeming orderliness though, Poirot also picks locks with passing familiarity, trespasses frequently, reads suspects’ personal love letters with little inclination for personal privacy, and has even [HIGHLIGHT FOR SPOILER]

[/SPOILER]. It seems like a walking contradiction when you understand Poirot always advocates for legal justice, but this apparent inconsistency makes him a more interesting personality to me (and his views on the subject changes gradually the more cases he undertakes, as seen in the Murder on the Orient Express and the Murder of Roger Ackroyd.)

you had me at mustache.

That’s what I try to think about when writing characters. No one is ever one-dimensional. Just because someone seems happy and cheerful most of the time doesn’t mean he’s happy and cheerful all the time.  And part of the challenge is adding in an odd quirk or habit to a protagonist or antagonist that makes readers think hey, this is not a skill or a trait I would imagine this person to have but that’s awesome, and still make it work.

YES I AM THAT GOOD.

Train’s been writing and performing for years. I can’t imagine how many tours they’ve been on, how many people in sold-out concerts they’ve played to, and how many times Pat Monahan’s taken photos with fans. So when you think about it, it’s pretty logical that he could take a camera, gauge at a glance how it works based on the hundreds he’s already handled, then angle his arm the right way to snap the perfect picture. He’s not good at it because he’s vain, but it’s a side effect of being a performer beloved by his fanbase. In the same manner I could write about a surly, sword-wielding teenage boy who happens to be afraid of heights, or an awkward, stuttering geek with no upper body strength but with a natural grace that could put Igor Zaripov to shame, and find ways to believably string these contradictions into their personalities.

It’s not the only step toward making a three-dimensional, rounded out character, but it’s one of the best places to start. As Monahan himself would sing, in a slightly out-of-context song: shake it up.

Also: an extremely crappy and incomplete recording of “Save Me, San Francisco”, taken from the concert. Apologies for the very sucky bass sounds. My camera hates subwoofers.

All recipes are invented by a husband-and-wife tandem (mostly the hubby’s; the wife is mostly there to ensure he doesn’t combine wasabi and chili oils and tomato pesto or something and give him another bout of acid reflux) burned out by web programming and craft-making / writing, respectively. Use at your own risk!

Udon 1.) 1 serving of udon noodles, 2.) a tablespoon of soy sauce, 3.) soup stock (warning: don’t use more than half of a chicken broth cube when you’re only making a bowlful of noodles), 4.) roasted seaweed strips. Came out pretty good, if a little too strong on broth.

So, as a budding fiction writer, when people encourage you to ‘write what you know’, you feel like you’re at an immediate disadvantage. After all, nobody wants to read books about pet vacuum cleaners or abalone farming or telemarketers unless they too are pet vacuum cleaners or abalone farmers or telemarketers. You’d be much better off, you think, if you’d been a space astronaut instead, or a carnival fire-eater, or a wizard.

But it isn’t necessarily about what you know. It’s about adding an odd twist to the things you already do.

So you’re a vacuum cleaner salesman, but the mechanics involved in sucking up dirt and grime off pet fur isn’t necessarily the extent of your knowledge. You know what it feels like to have doors slammed in your face, to have people wanting you in their homes with about the same enthusiasm they might welcome Jehovah’s Witnesses, or the Manson family.  Or maybe these potential customers themselves are crazy. You might have inadvertently knocked on the door of the town’s notorious cat lady. Or maybe you’ve stumbled into a house of bigamists. Or maybe you’ve done this for so long you start imagining what kind of people you’re about to meet before even lifting a hand to knock, like maybe they’re really reptiles posing as humans and this is a whole conspiracy to make Fox News believable.

Maybe you’re walking up to a mobile trailer blasting out Latin pop music and you’re expecting the person to open the door to be like Ricky Martin got hit with a pitchfork, and while I don’t know any good stories about heroes who look like Ricky Martin got hit with a pitchfork, it’s a good enough jump from ‘vacuum cleaner salesman’ to get ideas percolating. And this is just a small pool in a large ocean of possibilities.

Having a Ph.D. in abalone farming could mean you’re the expert when it comes to writing a thriller about deep sea creatures rising from the depths to attack a marine research facility. Or a suspense novel about company espionage when it is discovered fluids harnessed from a certain species of mollusk can give its user immortality. Or maybe your protagonist accidentally stole an abalone handpurse, and its vengeful mermaid owner wants it back.

But telemarketing is boring every which way you look at it! My best friend used to work for a call center agency. She had to politely respond to calls where the irate customer is anything but. She had to deal with stupid questions (“What’s a floppy disk? I don’t see anything here that looks floppy.”, “Why won’t my computer turn on? You mean I have to plug it in?”) with decent answers. Her phone conversations are recorded so her supervisors can look at the quality of customer service she provides, so no matter how many times the customers call her all sorts of names or send her death threats or claim alleged sexual dominion over her mother, she had to be nice. I would imagine telemarketers weather through nearly the same problems, and have just as much stories to tell.

But I’m just an accountant! In the IRS! That’s got to be the most boring and most hated job in the world! Since everyone equates the taxman to demons nowadays, how about writing a novel about a hero who works as an accountant for Satan? And this is just off the top of my head.

But I have a full-time job in financial investment and I only have a couple hours each day to write. I don’t have much of a social life, I work sixty to seventy hours a week, and there’s way too much thrillers about financial mismanagement nowadays that I won’t come off sounding original. What do I do? With that kind of schedule, you’re probably most qualified to write about something most people don’t often get to write about – insanity! And the good thing about insanity is that anything goes. Write about someone who wakes up one day and realizes he is the only sane person left in the world. Discuss.

It’s not about what kind of job you’ve got. It’s how you can take something that is ordinary and commonplace about your job, and make something unique and wonderful and funny and engaging and horrifying out of it. And of course – you have to love what you write. There has to be a compulsion to write this particular novel, not always because it’s what you know, but also because it’s what you must.

Many have already expounded on the “Write what you know” advice, but I’ll be one of the few to provide specific examples for how this works for me personally.

A case study: I have worked as a technical documentations writer who also oversees project quality control. I have worked as an events planner and marketing executive. I have worked in the IT department of a presidential campaign. My current WIP is about a horrible ghost with a centuries-old vendetta. (I pitch it as The Grudge meets Dexter.) So how did my previous jobs help me in writing this manuscript?

Because my first job was in a very old, almost flimsy building at the heart of a very busy and very modern business district, and you can tell the difference almost as soon as you step inside. Also, given my pale, long and unruly-haired, big-eyed and very Asian appearance, I have been known to accidentally scare people working overtime in other offices in this same building, especially when they wait twenty seconds in eerie semi-darkness for the elevator to light up, only to find me standing inside (my hair tends to fall over my face as I rummage around for things in my bag, a habit I have to check for anything I might have left behind at the office.)

Except this one does it deliberately, and I’ve never been koshed on the head.

My second job was in a warehouse-turned-office. To get to it, you need to go through a long corridor where sound carries loudly, and noises echoes frequently. Few co-workers were willing to stay long after office hours.

My third job gave me behind-the-scenes insights on politics, and I learned a lot about multi-layered antagonists from my short stint there (not only with this WIP, but with others I am currently working on.)

My first job gave me the premise for my WIP, my second taught me the importance of atmosphere, and my third taught me character development (with a fuller emphasis on villains). So it’s not all that far-fetched to take the odd things that happen in your life, spin them round, and incorporate them into story elements, even when the novel has nothing to do with your job.

For funnage! And stuff. Opening lines and first 150 words of my MS:

Contest found here.

Title: Firekeeper

Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 69,000

Pitch: When a firebird chooses Dexter as its keeper, he and his companions must travel to Faer to prevent an evil Snow Queen from taking it. But Faer, too, is a dangerous place.

The firebird sat atop an old-fashioned mailbox at Dharma Downs Lane. Rather than retreat to the safety of nearby trees and rooftops as any sensible animal would have done, it drew itself up, as regal as any queen, and waited for the shades to attack.

The shades in question were already closing in, and assuming frightening, monstrous shapes. Some took human form, with long sharp claws in place of hands. Others took on semblances of wolves and bears and strange winged creatures; black eyeless silhouettes with teeth.

The firebird chirped a warning, but the shades paid little heed. So it sighed – a resigned, I-really-did-warn-you-about-this-you-know sigh – and glowed. Its feathers, a variety of yellows and reds and oranges tipped with a subtle silver shimmer, flared. Its majestic tail fanned out like a vestal train, whipping at slow, concentrated intervals.

made for me by my sister, Kim

Jhune Salud: wedding coordinator for the day

Also, a very different kind of wedding video. Because we’re too cool for slow romantic songs and crap like that.

A quick rundown for anyone interested (and I recommend everyone listed here):

venue: Fernbrook Gardens

video and photos: Wally Gonzales Photography

wedding dress: Merlene Marcelo

wedding shoes: Tonic by Kim

caterer: Josiah’s Catering (facebook)

hair and makeup: Realm Make-Up (ote_realm [at] yahoo.com, contact:  3770623/09198013388)

photobooth: Purplebox Photos (facebook – guests, get your photobooth souvenirs here!)

music: Serene8 Music Company

flowers: 15-58 Flowers (facebook account)

wedding coordinators: Jhune Salud

mobile cocktails bar: Flair-Up

Here is something you may not know: I’m terrified of writing.

I’m terrified of roaches, too. But the fear of winged insects is only an outward reaction to an external environment you have no control over, an equation best explained as

[involuntary chemical imbalance]
_________________________________________
[illogical phobia] + [childhood trauma]

Writing is a controlled substance. It’s a life form lodged inside your skull. It uses your head as a personal crystal ball so it can read the swirling tea leaves of your brain matter. It’s an extension of both your personality and your life choices. And to take all that and put it out there for the whole world to see, can be a horrifying thing. And the kicker? Writers do this voluntarily.

A better equation would be

([disturbingly vivid imagination] + [reading compulsion]) – ([fear of failure] + [privacy issues])
_______________________________________________________________________________________
([emulation of writing influences] x [pride that one can do better than current contemporaries]) + [mild hypergraphia]

Every character and every plot is a functioning organ of your person. They can be as useless as an appendix, as relevant as a spinal cord. Sometimes you don’t know what they’re needed for, like spleens or men’s nipples, but they make up an integral part of the whole sum of you. Showing them off in public is akin to stripping naked in front of a live studio audience with a vindictive laugh track.

So I make noncommittal replies when a few people express a desire to read some of my works, or I hastily cover up my laptop screen when someone attempts to read through a working novel. A chapter or two reluctantly relinquished to curious proofreaders are accompanied by a fluttering of “It’s not quite done yet”s and “It’s still not very good”s and “There’s still lots of things to improve”s.  When people nod politely when I gingerly explain I’m a struggling writer, and change topics at first opportunity, clearly disinterested, relief is the first emotion to sprout, because the need to express myself more coherently has just been rendered moot.

There is no real point to this post other than a visible attempt to psych myself up to be more open about certain works. Almost done with final revisions, and it’s only just begun to hit me – what the hell am I trying to get myself into?

The second month of novel writing comes as a gradual shock, like jumping into a pile of words through the eyes of a slow-motion camera. It’s a jigsaw puzzle. It is harder than you think it is. You know how the overall image should look, but you’re frustrated that the abberant, strabismic puzzle piece you’ve been hammering into the other lopsided, disproportionate puzzle piece for the past three days does not give you the partial image of the violet orchid you’ve been looking for, but rather, is actually a dog’s tongue. The glimpse of a night sky becomes a human iris. A laughing clown’s mouth becomes a stain of blood. You can’t find a way not to end the sentence with a proposition. The third inconsequential adherent dies too soon. You have a newfound appreciation for professional writers, even the ones you dislike.

The third month of novel writing is rife with frustration, a lack of confidence, and an abundance of self-pity. You’re not just as good as you thought you were; you are no longer good enough. The story isn’t flowing. The plot is an elementary affair, a pelucid sludge of dialogue and superfluous complications that any neophyte reader can pierce through with little imagination. A critic perhaps, skimming through your first draft, has denounced it as both trite and unreadable. You wallow in the absence of your own self-worth, and imagine little sad violins playing in your head. Your boyfriend takes pity on you one Saturday and suggests an afternoon at the bookstore. The bibliophile in you appreciates the gesture while the struggling writer turns it down – successful authors are the last people you want to look at. There is no dawn with your darkness; should the moon bear traces of silver linings, they are nonetheless utterly and adversely unattainable.

If you are not made to be a writer, you will turn around and abandon the project at this point. Otherwise, the fourth month of novel writing will find you slogging along, resigned to completing the literary monstrosity you had first set out to accomplish. Every now and then good ideas will hit you, and sometimes the puzzle starts making sense, though the way to an ending remains a dark and lonely path. A writer differs from any other profession in that most suffer crippling self-doubt before they can learn to get better. You may not yet be the good writer you would like to be at the crux of your fledgling career, but at this phase you have the makings, and the potential to be one.

And that, I suppose, is as good a place to start as any.

Still in the dredges of my current manuscript – just reshaping, re-editing, re-tearing my hair out in frustration, in about as good a way as that can be possible. Am feeling pretty good with how everything is coming together!