papermill

The heart is a lonely hunter

2011-02-09T09:04:00.004+08:00

What would compel a man- and a decorated man at that- to take his own life?

Surely columnists and bloggers will expend reams of newsprint and precious bandwidth to contort themselves in trying to explain the religious and moral wages and sociological significance of such an act, but we will never know if anyone captures in precise words and images the murmurs of that which burdened him. Many will toss around the names of Hume, Nietzsche and Schopenhauer, but only one can explain what did him in.

Many will say it is a sin; others will counter that it is an act of bravery. I think it is cowardice: is it not more heroic to stay alive and suffer? But what do I know- I am only a blogger. If we could ask any one who took the plunge, any one who held the cold comfort of a gun to their chest, then we would probably hear them say: "You don't know my name."

Only your own heart can define funny, and only your heart can illustrate tragic. The questions you ask will not necessarily be the same as those we do, and who is to say you have not found the answer?

In the meantime, here we all are: sociable yet desolate, each of us waging our own war, looking for our own separate peace.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Cause of extramarital affairs uncovered!

2011-02-02T03:32:00.009+08:00

For years Lamplighter, Polaris and MJ have been meeting just before Chinese New Year and exchange tikoy among themselves. What is a tikoy, you ask? (How do you translate tikoy to English, I ask.) It is a delicacy made of flour and sugar, fried after you dip it in a beaten egg. This year Rai and I joined in.

MJ coaxed Rai into gracing us with tales of woe, his heartbreak in the last year. Rai had been missing in action until recently, when he resurfaced on Facebook. Last week he showed up in the flesh with his hair at shoulder length. Many times he is mistaken either for Jesus Christ or a drug addict.

MJ, on the other hand, regaled us with the tribulations of motherhood, asking tips on how her baby can get a lighter skin tone.

MJ said she was surprised to find out on her wedding day that the wedding ring is worn on the right hand. Lamplighter and Polaris protested, until The Fiancee's mother chimed in to affirm that it is, indeed, worn on the right hand. (She makes it her business to listen in on all of this, and I report this not with amusement or contempt. Tell me who your friends are, my child, and you tell me who I am.)

Lamplighter and Polaris are shocked.

With this damning evidence, I deduce, through my immense powers of observation and reasoning, that when a woman says she did not know that the guy is married, then it must be true, since women have been looking at the wrong hand.

Of course, it could be that the guy is not wearing the ring at all- but still, this observation is a breakthrough. Something worthy of a tikoy celebration.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Where are you now?

2011-01-19T04:55:00.004+08:00

With the advent of Facebook, the global village got even smaller.

I applied once to be a customer service representative in a contact center in Shaw, and I got along well with this guy who was recruited from Bicol. We got to be Facebook friends, and I have since found out he has a friend who happens to be the brother of somebody I worked with in the previous company I worked for.

In the past four to six weeks, I have been getting many friend requests and invitations to reunions from grade school and high school mates. One may place the blame on the holidays and the nostalgia they evoke- with Christmas parties and family reunions in abundance- but the holidays have passed and the frequency with which I get these Facebook requests has not declined. Some of them I don’t remember: not the face, not the name.

Which bothered me a lot. I mean, these people added me as their Facebook friend, so I must have made some impact on them. One may argue that they hate me and want to find out where I live so they can exact revenge, but still- that means I made an impression. And they don’t register, which means a) I was an insensitive, self-absorbed lout; b) I have a really crappy mental bank; c) my childhood was very painful, so I blocked out many memories; d) I should watch out for Alzheimer’s; or, more likely, e) they were wallflowers back then. (Not that I was a very popular kid myself.)

So I thought, Whatever happened to all those freaks and geeks I used to know? And those dorks who might have known me, but I didn’t know were worth my time?

By typing names and clicking on their friends lists, I got myself up-to-date (well, as up-to-date as a social network would allow anyway).

I found out that some of friends are working abroad. Most of them work in Doha or Dubai, but I don’t know what kind of work they have been doing. One guy looks like he is an engineer, and there is a girl who listed herself as a waitress in a European cruise line.

Girls I was romantically involved with are married or have children. Oh, and girls I did not have romantic interests in (even girls you thought nobody would take an interest in), they also have a family of their own. And that got me into thinking, What have I been doing with my life?

I’m 29 years old, but it has been only four years since I got out of college. True, I stopped going to college for a couple of semesters, and I took units in Education along the way, and, at one point, I worked while studying at the same time, but I feel like I should have done more.

Look at me. I have been in the call center industry for five years, and what do I have to show for it? I don’t have a car, or a flat of my own. This is why people don’t go to reunions. You don’t get to show off. You think, “All those years I toiled in college, thinking about how I was pushed around by the bully, how I’m going to show him, and all I got are these pimple scars.”

Well, not just pimple scars. I have a license to teach in secondary public schools, and I have boxes of books.

And I’m happier to inform you that, after being seven years of being together, my girlfriend and I are getting married in May.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Resolve to keep the promises you make.

2011-01-05T09:46:00.006+08:00

It's that time of the year again when everyone pretends to make New Year's resolutions.

When you've reached 29, you must have heard them all: I'm going to save up this year, I'm going to be committed to my diet, I'm going to quit smoking, I'm going to do this, I'm not gonna do that anymore- but you know that everything will be forgotten even before Holy Week rolls around. Which should give you a reason to flagellate yourself. Hey, there's a New Year's resolution you don't have to keep the whole year round.

All this began a few decades ago, when a teacher- possibly an English teacher or a Values Education teacher- having come back from Christmas vacation, had this brilliant idea to make her pupils list resolutions.

Compelled to teach yet still reeling from the daze of the holidays, the teacher comes up with a task that would allow her to take on a supervisory position. The pupils would be quiet in their seats, and she would be able to instill morals in her pupils. Presto! the perfect task!

Since then, this task has transformed into a hollow tradition. In all likelihood, the invention of the New Year's resolution was meant to reflect on the past year and to take away what you can from it to be a better person in the coming year. But why wait till the end of the year, when you can also do that on your birthday. And isn't that what Holy Week was supposed to be for?

Also, what could be so possibly wrong with you that you have to make resolutions every year? Does it mean that every year you fix something wrong with you, you also acquire something new- something wrong- to fix the next year?

Really, the only resolution worth keeping....

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Delayed, denied; somehow delighted

2010-12-19T01:26:00.004+08:00

The acquittal of Hubert Webb et al brings more pain than joy.

If you were in the shoes of these seven guys- or any one of their family members- and you have been innocent all along, how extremely frustrating it must be to have spent all those 12-15 years in prison, away from your family and stripped of your freedoms.

If they were guilty of the crime, regardless of what the Supreme Court says, then it is still unfair because they are getting away- no matter that they have served time.

And if you were Lauro Vizconde, how are you supposed to feel? What if you have built wells of hatred? Now you're being told you have been wrong to harbor all these ill feelings toward these people all these years? Where do you go from here? If they are innocent, then that means the criminals are still on the loose. Then we are all back to zero.

Which makes it even more disheartening for the public. How do you believe in a justice system like this?

All that being said, I am glad that the Supreme Court has decided to bring down a decision, rather than wait indefinitely for the DNA evidence to turn up.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Pack it

2010-12-17T03:20:00.004+08:00

Despite the great number of people taking the Metro Rail Transit, it seems like nobody is discouraged to ride the train. You may hear complaints about how hard it is to squeeze yourself in and to get out of it, but Php10-14, ten to twenty minutes of train ride saves you a lot of time (when compared to a bus ride) and covers a long distance. So you can say your money goes a long way ha ha.

This month, though, commuters have been complaining that you can't get in if you have presents with you. You'll have to unwrap it, so it's as if you've wasted your time trying to pack it.

Many question how effective this policy is, given that all the guards seem to do is poke their stick in, without actually looking at the contents, and without seeming to know what they are looking for. Despite all this, may I just say: It's a business and it is their prerogative to conduct such inspections. You may yell till you make yourself hoarse, but it is their policy to make. No one is forcing you to ride their train, so you can take the bus. Let us please stop feeling entitled to everything, as if the universe owes its existence to us.

Plus, you can work around it. You can wrap it in such a way that it will be easy to unwrap and to wrap it back. You can do the re-wrap in a mall's food court or a bench in the train station.

Anyhow, you might want to start not taking the MRT now, as plans have been afoot to hike the fares, with the government intending to stop subsidizing your rides. That's one more thing to be grateful for in the Noynoy administration, and one more thing to begrudge Gloria Arroyo.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

When worlds collide

2010-12-15T01:41:00.006+08:00

Every man
is a world
unto himself,
complete and unfinished.

It is not as simple
as Mars and Venus,
though, that, too,
is true.

I may not know
how long you grew your hair,
or how far, or how hard
you combed;
but I know
you endured,
and that your fireworks
can not be contained.

You cannot touch
the depths of my wellspring,
or the sores of my sole;
but know
that I have fortitude,
and that my reach
can not be arrested.

You may be Garcia Marquez,
and I, Vargas Llosa,
but we are all
made of stars.

Gravity will constantly
pull us
all together-
that we may be
lodged
in the same firmament.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Because Noynoy has monopoly on the truth, good governance and self-righteousness

2010-12-09T02:13:00.007+08:00

In a vote of 10-5, the Supreme Court yesterday declared the establishment of a Truth Commission by President Noynoy Aquino through Executive Order No. 1 unconstitutional.

Naturally, the decision was met with mixed reactions.

But few were as brazenly arrogant as Noynoy's own: "Nananawagan ako, sa mga nagbubulag-bulagan at nagbibingi-bingihan sa malinaw na panawagan ng taumbayan: huwag po sanang harangan ang aking tungkulin (I call on those playing blind and deaf to the clear call of the people: please do not keep me from doing my duty.)," said the president.

When somebody does not agree wholeheartedly with Noynoy's vision, they will only be good for name-calling: "nagbubulag-bulagan, nagbibingi-bingihan." The Supreme Court decision on the Truth Commission can only be unfair, even as the SC has ruled that the Executive Order is just that- unfair- for violating the equal protection clause provided for by the Cory Constitution.

If they truly have a box full of evidence, why don't they go to court?

Surprisingly, appointees to this commission who have agreed to be part of it, have been noted legal luminaries as well. Juan Ponce-Enrile expresses doubts that even an act of Congress would do it.

As Joker Arroyo has been saying over and over again: Noynoy should get his act together by choosing the right kind of advisers. His mother had Joker Arroyo, Jovito Salonga, and many others on her side. Who can he count on?

Some people have also been carping about the fact that 14 of the 15 justices were appointees of Gloria Arroyo, as if she was not bound by law to make those appointments, and conveniently forgetting that four of the five dissenters were also Arroyo appointees. All 14 of those appointments were well within her privilege, and, possibly excepting eventual Chief Justice Renato Corona (who was once her chief of staff), acceptable.

Of course, nobody blames the system that allows one president to field appointees to a full court; we only want to find fault with personalities. Why would Noynoy want to tinker with the system? That would be tantamount to an admission that the Constitution promulgated under his mother's administration has been deficient and defective.

"Hindi ako marunong sumuko pag palagay ko nasa tama ako," he says.

The Supreme Court vote, on this and other matters, will always be a political decision, as long as it does not conform to Noynoy's ideals of the true, the good and the beautiful.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Yap- he loses

2010-12-01T23:45:00.009+08:00

In his Twitter page, Tim Yap announced that the winner of the jackpot prize of Php 741 million in the lottery is named Miko Morelos. The news, of course, was re-tweeted many times over.

Apparently, Yap based his declaration on a tweet from the Inquirer, possibly thinking that the Inquirer is a reputable source. And it is- except that the winners' names are not announced, for their own safety.

The tweet from the Inquirer read: "One winner from Luzon confirmed (Miko Morelos).” Subsequently, Yap posted: “Eto na, PCSO confirms one winner—his name is Miko Morelos. He gets to take home the P741.2M peso Grand Lotto 6/55 Jackpot! #magtagokana!” He followed it up with: “And guess what? Miko Morelos is on twitter! @mikomorelos I already sent a request. He protected his tweets already. #afraidforhislife.”

As it turns out, Morelos was the Inquirer reporter who broke the news that the prize has been won finally. Read how it affected his life here, and you may also want to check out the Facebook fan page created for him.

Yap did apologize eventually, but what rankles is that he enveloped his apology with this: "Hindi ko po intensyong manggulantang ng buhay ng tao." (interview in Saksi, the TV newscast) Given those tweets, what did he expect he was going to cause? What would it benefit him- or anyone else, for that matter- to disclose the identity of the winner of the pot? Was he sorry that he leaked the name, or that he leaked the wrong name?

One remembers that when Justin Timberlake flew in, Yap announced that Jessica Biel was with him. Which was later proved to be untrue. It looks like in his bid to be prime paparazzo, he has only succeeded to show he cannot be counted on to check the facts, or to be mindful of the grave consequence of his actions, or to show regard for another person's well-being. He is not worthy to be part of the media, and he is losing credibility, if he had it to begin with.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

secret handshake

2010-11-16T08:44:00.009+08:00

There are very little but crucial things that aren't understood about friendships.

Friends should not leave their friends for anything that isn't greater than friendship. Note: There's nothing expressly greater than friendship.

Friends don't grow up. Friendship is the human equivalent of the fountain of youth.

Friends are indispensable.

Time is the best gift you give your friends. Only occasionally rivaled by the latest Ipod or a killer scarf.

Friends should not be made to do anything. Friends and friendships are simple and simply the best things in life.

***

"For John was running, and this was terrible. Because if you ran, time ran. You yelled and screamed and raced and rolled and tumbled and all of a sudden the sun was gone and the whistle was blowing and you were on your long way home to supper. When you weren't looking, the sun got around behind you! The only way to keep things slow was to watch everything and do nothing! You could stretch a day to three days, sure, just by watching!"
- Dandelion Wine

***

"It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up." - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

How to Look Like Diether Ocampo

2010-10-20T19:04:00.007+08:00

Yesterday afternoon The Fiancee's sister, Gladys, asked if we were inviting any ex'es to the wedding. Naturally, I'm not inviting anyone, and I teased The Fiancee that hers have run into problems of- among other things- portliness, that she wouldn't want to invite any of them. She said, though, that she wouldn't mind inviting Diether Ocampo, after Gladys reported she thought she saw Diether Ocampo in a mall, and, knowing how The Fiancee is crazy about him, asked her if she is inviting him to the wedding.

Pointing to a male model in a catalog, The Fiancee asked if that was the sort of suit I'd like to wear. I thought the suit was excellent, but I did not think it was something I could pull off. "I'm no Diether Ocampo," I added. With a tone of resignation, she said, "I know, but that's okay...."

So I took half-offense, and stressed that I'm, like, two showers away from looking like a Diether Ocampo. Admittedly, the Philippine gene pool can hardly improve upon Diether, and few come close, but you can look like him in a few easy steps:

1. Take three to five showers a day.

2. Go to the gym regularly.

3. Eat vegetables.

4. Do not smoke.

5. Moisturize. If there is anything men can learn from Robert Redford aside from aspiring to be Paul Newman, it is that we should moisturize to ward off slow and ugly decomposition.

6. Relieve yourself of stress by yelling at people at the bottom of the office pyramid. Stress takes away at least five years of your life.

7. Get Diether's contact information, and beg him not to take a bath for at least thirty straight days.

Perform these steps regularly, and you're on your way to looking like that.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Encode This!

2010-10-05T06:08:00.001+08:00

McKinley High School had had a glorious past, they are the leader in this field. As the years went by, the choir continued sex scandal, scandal, many talented young people have quietly left. Now, the choir became the "South Guo" and eccentric student's "safe haven." Will optimistic by nature to accept the principal task entrusted by this daunting: reshaping the image of McKingley choir to create another brilliant. Will not alone - because he has a beautiful female teacher Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays played) the "full adjuvant."

(Bloggers note: This blurb was taken exactly from a DVD sleeve for Glee, complete season 1)

defining 'procrastination'

2010-09-08T06:12:00.000+08:00

No posts for three months now.

All I have are drafts, and drafts just won't cut it. Nobody wins a Nobel for attempted biochemistry or novel-in-progress. You can't be called a writer if you do not get anything published.

Work always gets in the way, but this cannot go on forever. I have to write something sometime soon.

But it's 9 pm on a Tuesday night, and I have to go home now.

Maybe tomorrow then.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

The heart of a mother

2010-06-22T11:51:00.005+08:00

Legacy of An Adopted Child
Author Unknown

Once there were two women,
Who barely knew each other.
One is in your heart forever,
The other you’ll call mother.

Two different lives,
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,
And the second taught you how to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you a family,
It was what God intended for her to do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment…
Which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling… neither,
Just two different kinds of love.

(blogger's note: i read this poem from cribs orphanage philippines... i felt
inspired when i read this and i just want to share this to all of you...)

=polaris=

a lot of work

2010-03-24T13:01:00.005+08:00

I started being an adult when I got hired for my first job. It was a contact center in Eastwood and I got assigned to an international credit card account. As it was my first job, I didn't get to appreciate what my salary afforded me until about a couple of months later. I stayed there for two and a half years, and whenever I pass by the new building in Libis, I find myself smiling. I have had good memories of the company and the people I worked with. All the complaints about the callers did not deter me from applying for a job at yet another call center.

Like I said, it pays well.

This next call center was in Cubao, and we handled orders for various newspaper companies in the US. This time the complaints we handled were for missed deliveries, and this was even more unbearable because (1) they are the same recurring problems you receive on a daily grind; and (2) we cannot chalk it up to a bad economy. Many times you have got to wonder yourself: What's wrong with our carriers?

I am on my third newspaper account and it is folding in four days. Early on, six of my teammates found accounts to be transferred to. That's because they have been with the company the longest. The other day the rest - but three of us- were notified that they are to start training for another account on Monday.

We three did not protest because we happen to be single, and the three who are going ahead of us have children already.

It's funny, though, that no matter how many times we complain about work, we still await that phone call to learn where we are headed to. Not only because the job pays well, but also because we prefer to work right away rather than be forced to go out and have your picture taken, your resume printed, and your police clearance processed. Who wants to take rides everyday going to various locations, to fall in line numerous times, and to be quizzed by smug or intimidating interviewers, only to hear that dreaded "Sorry, you did not make it."

You can pass it all, but you will have to be prepared to undergo a medical examination to be scheduled by the company, and to collect all the documents they need.

Should you elect to resign, the company will only be too glad to give you less for your back pay. Rather than tell you that they are letting you go, they will wait for an opening at another account.

Of course, you can choose to use that waiting time to take a vacation, but who knows how long- or how short- that's going to take?

I have been with this company for more than a year and a half, and I have made complaints more times than I would care to remember, but I did not know it was going to be this hard to quit.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

sore

2010-03-17T10:00:00.008+08:00

On Friday night I went to sleep after having been awake for nearly 24 hours. At 1 a.m. I found myself half-awake with an itchy left eye. I got up and saw that it was red and swollen. I told my mom about it and she said I could try applying vapor rub on the rings under my eye. I didn't think that would do anything, but she and my stepfather assured me it would alleviate the pain.

Turns out to be a mistake.

I went back to sleep, only to wake up with an eye even more swollen than the previous night.

I spent the next couple of hours in the house, thinking it was the sleeping that might have made it worse. I took a bath and ran water over my eyes, thinking that the swelling would subside in the left eye, and that it would not go over to the right.

Then I dressed up and called up Lamplighter to ask her to accompany me to a clinic in a mall. Yes, a clinic in the mall. People pay their utilities in the mall, so why can't they have their check-up?

I had to see an ophthalmologist not only to ask for medication, but also to request for a certificate that I can't go to work later that Saturday night. The doctor had gone out, so we had to go to another clinic. In the same mall. Yes- that's a second clinic in the mall. And they're not just one-room clinics. These clinics have many rooms and facilities for possibly all the systems and organs in the body that you can name.

The male doctor was jovial and engaging, asking questions about where I work and how a call center operates. He examined the eye and I was given medication. Before I went out, he shared that he had joined a Christian movement about a couple of years ago. He intimated that he has finally found the peace he has been looking for, and entreated that I visit the website. I listened and I nodded, and I asked questions.

But as the day wore on, this got me into wondering: You would think that saving people's lives would make a doctor satisfied, but how come it did not make him complete? How was playing God not enough, that he had to look for ways to get closer to a Higher Being?

What was it with this movement that made him happy, but his denomination didn't? This implies some movements or religions are better than others.

Maybe he didn't know the right questions to ask five, nine years ago. But couldn't he find the answers without joining this new movement? This implies there is nothing with each denomination, or the Church itself as an institution, or religion as an organized group of people. It is man who has got it all wrong.

And how do we explain atheists and agnostics?

Was it really necessary for man to invent religion?

>>> lightning catcher <<<

Ode to Bidam

2010-03-15T15:50:00.005+08:00

Have you ever hated the ending of a drama/movie so bad you ended up depressed like all your endorphins were sucked out of your body? I have.

Bidam was the most pitiful character I have ever known, I never thought that he will end up like that, he just didn't deserve it. If anyone deserved a happy ending, it’s him. It was just so awful, after everything that happened to him and after the way people treated him, to kill him like that in the end was just too much. Give the guy a break! Sheesh.

He had never known love. He was abandoned by his mother when he was just some days old. Then he was taken under the wing of his master who had treated him quite nicely at first, but after a horrible incident, he lost even that. After that incident, his master never trusted him again, always expecting the worse from him. I really felt for him in this part, granted what he did was really horrible, almost unforgivable actually, enough to rival Hitler’s cruelty. But to abandon the child emotionally was just heartbreaking. More than ever, Bidam needed his master then, more than ever, the master should have taken careful understanding of the child to put him in the right path. Wasn’t that what masters were for? To admonish when you made a terrible mistake? To guide and to help? More so, when he was the closest thing to a parent Bidam had ever had. But no, the master chose to subject the child to a self fulfilling prophecy when he put a cold emotional distance between them. It really tore at my heart.

Then there was his mother, the mother who even in her last breath never acknowledged him, refering to him as something she had already thrown and had no need for. Ouch, really.

All his life what he only wanted was acceptance. He struggled so much, always trying to prove himself worthy of people’s affection and trust, but sadly, nobody gave that to him.

And then there was the ending. Sheesh, talk about forced tragedy. Fine he needed to die, but was there really a need to make it so brutal? What with like fifty stab wounds, with your intestines spilling everywhere while the woman you love can’t do anything but watch? Was there really a need for that except to vainly make the ending as tragic and as dramatic as the sinking Titanic? What exactly did it add to the theme? The brutality of his death was just unnecessary.

I just can’t stop protesting, the writer was just too cruel to him because even at the end, nobody even reached out to him to atleast give him a semblance of acceptance he so desperately needed. I would have been pacified if he was given something as simple as a hug to let him know that he was actually loved. He deserved atleast that much.

=polaris=

(blogger's note: it took me a long time to write this because I was really pissed off.)

spaced out

2010-03-10T10:58:00.006+08:00

On Monday morning, I took the Metro Rail Transit on the way home, as I usually do. Because it was eleven in the morning, the car was reasonably spaced.

Two minutes into the ride, this woman behind me started mumbling some incoherent sounds. Two more minutes, and still more grumbling. After two minutes more, she said, "Huwag mo naman akong sandalan, nakadikit na ako sa pinto." ("Don't lean on me with your back on my back. I'm pushed to the door here.")

To which I answered, "Bakit naman kita sasandalan? Wala na akong uusugan dito." ("Why would I do that? I can't move any further.") In front of me were two guys. If I were any closer, I would have been hauled for lasciviousness.

"Sinasandalan mo ako e." ("Well, you are too close.")

"Gusto mo palit tayo?" ("You want us to exchange places?")

She did not budge. "Masikip na nga, sumasandal ka pa." ("As it is, I don't have space here; now you're even closing in on me.")

"Kung nasisikipan ka, dapat sa bus ka sumakay." ("If this is not spacey enough for you, you should have taken the bus.") This woman was about five years older than me.

"E di ikaw sumakay dun." ("Why don't you take the bus?") Nobody else was joining in on the fray.

"Bakit ako sasakay dun, e di naman ako nasisikipan dito?" ("Why should I? I'm pretty okay here.")

"Wag kang matapang. Muslim ako." ("Don't be such a smartass. I'm a Moslem.")

With the volume and tone of her voice, it was safe to presume this was a threat. "A, Muslim ka. So, terorista ka?" ("So, you're a Moslem. Does that make you a terrorist?")

She gave out a couple more mumblings, then she hopped out into the Shaw platform alone.

Woman, let me tell you this: this is somebody who has been taking this railway system for four and a half years now. I've taken the train at practically every hour of the day. You had enough space, and it should make you pause that nobody came to your defense. If you were right, then why didn't they?

It does not help your cause that you would drag your religion into the conversation. What did it have to do with anything? If that was not a threat, then I want to know what you meant. Let's assume for argument's sake that you meant you were a woman, and so you cannot be touched: I was not touching you at all, as everyone on that coach can attest, and if that's the case, then you picked out the wrong public transport system to get you to your destination.

Whether you are a Moslem or not, you did not achieve anything other than give the religion a bad name.

And give me material this week.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

foot-in-mouth in a horse race

2010-03-03T09:56:00.002+08:00

On Monday morning, Sen. Jamby Madrigal was a guest on Mike Enriquez's radio show.

He asked her if she trusted that the automated machines will work, and the presidential aspirant answered in the negative. On whether she trusted the Commission on Elections, she said no.

Which begs the question: If she does not believe in either the tools or the system, then why is she still in the running? How can we trust her to lead the country? Say we (knock on wood) have to go to war, how can she be trusted to lead the people? How can anyone trust her when she foolishly participates in an electoral contest with operations and administrators she does not think will work? Well, at least not for her, anyway.

It's amazing what the senator is capable of saying. And we have months to go. Fasten your seatbelts- it's still going to be a bumpy ride.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

a morning not so bright

2010-02-24T11:52:00.005+08:00

On early Monday morning, we were watching a TV variety program deliver some of the news.

An actress-politician's car was stolen, and she said: "Kinuha nila ang kotse ko nang walang kagatul-gatol." (They got my car without a fuss.)

To which Lamplighter's mother shot back: "Para namang magpapaalam pa sila na nanakawin nila 'yung kotse nya?" (Does she really expect them to tell her that they are out for her car?)

Upon which the scenario fell upon me: Three thugs ring her bell and say, "Good morning, ma'am. We're hear to steal your car."

Then the anchor tells us about a palaboy (a woman living in the streets), which she pronounces
pa'-laboy, the stress being on the first syllable. Or is that syl-la'-ble?

The reporter tells us the palaboy is a regular palaboy. Which makes Lamplighter wonder if there is a probationary palaboy, which then prompts me to ask if there is a semi-palaboy.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

as i was saying last week....

2010-02-17T12:24:00.003+08:00

So here comes Sen. Jamby Madrigal saying she has seen the error of her ways.

In trying to paint a bad picture of presidential hopeful Manny Villar, she took potshots at his propensity for hiring celebrity endorsers. When confronted with the fact that a celebrity endorsement had helped her get to where she is now, she claims to believe that it was a mistake. In alienating Judy Ann Santos as a voter, and her tiny gang of followers, how many votes did she think she was gaining?

Let's skip that numbers part. By her very position as a presidential candidate, this was obviously not a simple expression of ethical beliefs. If she had expressed regrets at such campaigning strategies, say, a year ago, then her remarks may bear consideration. Now she's just trying to get herself out of a mess she created for herself, although it was meant for another contender.

Moreover: Just because you're a vegetarian does not mean you shouldn't know what your people are eating. It behooves her as a public servant- and more so as a candidate for president- to know these things. Who knows how far this excuse can go? If I were running- and I am Catholic- does it mean I should be unaware of how other religions work, and therefore be insensitive to them?

Here's hoping she now knows how much salted eggs and a kilo of galunggong (a variety of fish) cost.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

as you read it

2010-02-15T12:32:00.005+08:00

I never get tired of watching movies. I watch it with earnest and silent desperation. I love watching movies nearly as much as I love reading books.

I especially get all excited when I find out that a story based on the book I liked is going to be made into a movie. It's like a kindred has connected with me through the book and I get to experience it with everybody else who'd see it. It's a surreal and unspoken tribal ritual.

And then I see the movie.

And it's really inevitable for a viewer not to expect nothing less than amazing from the makers of the movie. I understand that there are certain things that cannot be conveyed using a visual medium, but what about the general idea of the story? They have read the book after all.

What about those breathtaking landscapes and absolutely dazzling action that I imagined? What about those achingly lyrical lines and brooding yet smoldering looks that the lead character gave the love of his life?

***

I recently finished the book Confessions of a Shopaholic. I enjoyed it and almost automatically related to the character's desperate attempts to make her condition more acceptable to her senses.

My friend, Jeni, told me that there is a movie based on it and it's quite good. So I rented the video.

Then it was cute and funny. I suppose the movie has been well-liked. There were the familiar lines and colorful couture. Bex was fabulous!

The mannequins talked and convinced poor Bex she needs the green scarf (which I clearly remembered to be gray). I thought it was going for metaphor, perhaps magical realism. Then there was introspection, she knows that she needs shopping to make her feel better. She gave an entire speech about feelings and over-compensation. She can figure it out on her own, she didn't even go to denial, or therapy!

She sold all her clothes and kept the man she loves. And even get to work the way she wants to with all her shopaholic friends. Feel-good movie.

Then there's the reality that addictive behavior is dangerous. It's repetitive, volatile and can be seriously destructive. It can creep up on you even when you think that you're already out of it.

Bex may look hilarious or downright silly but she is in a lot of trouble and she would never really fully understand it. For me, the movie was not able to get this urgency across. The emotions that I related with and the dangerous exhilaration was lost somewhere in translation. And we're left with what the screenwriter understood and not so much what we have lived on and loved.

The real Bex sitting with the same emotional ride who opted to watch the movie version only didn't see what I read. She thought it's all going to be okay. She'd be out of bad debt and all her compulsions would disappear.

All she needs to do is see the end of the movie.

i heart senators

2010-02-10T13:11:00.001+08:00

How low have our senators descended!

We have one who makes inappropriate jokes about his colleague's sexual relations with the wife.

There is another who refuses to face the Senate on charges of corruption. If this were another government official- say GMA- the standard line would be, If he's not guilty, then he shouldn't have anything to hide.

And yet there is another who has fled the country, warning of an 'evil conspiracy' to indict him. If this were another personality, people would say: If you weren't guilty, you wouldn't be a fugitive.

As for the rest of them- well, as Sen. Joker Arroyo himself has pointed out, the C-5 project was put to a vote; so if there was any wrongdoing, then the failure to scrutinize falls on everybody's shoulder.

But why aren't the people angry enough?

Insert expletive here.

>>> lightning catcher <<<

nine movies you should have seen last year

2010-01-11T12:00:00.020+08:00

There were a lot of great and interesting films last year. Overall, I'd say it was the best year for that decade with all the spectacular remakes and worthy sequels, even the not too surprising comebacks.

I'm definitely looking forward to another amazing year in movies especially with all the really good films in store for us this year (like Alice in Wonderland and the seventh Harry Potter installment), but for now let's see if you were able to catch some of the best releases last year.

THE DARK KNIGHT - just when you thought we've seen just about any Batman movie they could think of, they give us this. I don't know whether I would be annoyed or amazed. Everybody just can't stop talking about it.

JULIE & JULIA - an interesting story about two women who try to find their place in life and in the kitchen. Another wonderful performance from the ever-reliable Streep and the enchanting Adams.

STAR TREK - a remake of the popular science fiction series full of riveting shots and scenes, delighting old fans and enticing new ones. Live long and prosper!

2012 - a film about the predicted end of the world on the year 2012. The awesome special effects seem to make up for the lack of an actual storyline.

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE - a sequel to the Harry Potter series chronicling the life of young wizard named Harry Potter. This film, like the ones before it, evolve as if we're looking at the wizarding world through Harry's eyes, seeing it first with awe and hope, now it's transformed to a dark and challenging world wherein children are being asked and pushed to partake in a war.

DRAG ME TO HELL - a very scary movie about curses and strangers. Raimi, of course, has always been reliable on bringing a good scare. (It sure made a lot of front desk officers nicer for a couple of weeks, in fact.)

UP - an amazingly touching animated film about living life in the present while remaining inspired by the past. Within the film's endearing cuteness is the daring push drawing us to live the life of adventure.

SHERLOCK HOLMES - it never occurred to me that Holmes can seem so close to a James Bond flick in retro. I guess it's really elementary after all. Nevertheless, Robert Downey Jr. reminded us again why he's worthy of that second chance.

AVATAR - a science fiction true to the mark of James Cameron's genius and a brilliant follow up movie to the amazingly successful Titanic. The movie brings us back the memories of Aliens (Weaver and Lang's robot) and Titanic (i see you lines) and reminds us that one awesome movie is still sitting somewhere waiting to be made (yes, I mean Dune).

*lamplighter*

earn the right to complain

2010-01-06T10:16:00.004+08:00

Everybody wants the ideal president, the ideal country, the ideal life, but what have you done to get it?

Even if we get the perfect president, it will take more than one man to turn things around (see Obama): Everyone has to do their part.

When Efren Penaflorida has shown what is possible, does it not bother you that you are way behind? You are conveniently couched in your wonderful life, blissfully unaware of Darfur. Have you even heard of such a thing? You pick up the morning paper, say "Frak! Dammit!" and you feel like you already have an opinion. You curse at the evening news, and then you switch to a prettier channel. Firing up your PC and glancing at world news does not mean you have fulfilled your civic responsibility.

Here's where to start: watch what they call "current affairs" programs late at night. Know what the issues are, and hear all sides. Maybe you subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer because you think The Philippine Star and Manila Bulletin are pro-GMA, but The Inquirer has nothing on the vitriol being hurled by Malaya and The Daily Tribune. Read not only Manuel Buencamino, but also Winnie Monsod; not only Conrado de Quiros, but also Alex Magno; not only MLQ III, but also Juan Mercado.

Participate in the democratic processes. That means getting out to vote. To not vote is to show your cynicism, your apathy, your indifference- and who are you helping? Who are you sending out your message to? When you don't vote, the statement you are sending out is: I don't believe in the system and I don't believe in humanity.

If you do not believe that elections will work, then what are you doing to fix it? Whether you vote or not, somebody will get elected. To vote for somebody who happens to be lagging in popularity polls will probably turn the tide, no matter how small the ripples. Maybe he won't win, but you can say you did not have a hand in electing the monster.

Maybe you are saying, It is all futile. Then maybe you deserve the government that you have. There are people running for president, vice president, senator (there are 12 slots, and more candidates), congressman, governor, vice-governor, board member, mayor, vice-mayor, councilor, barangay captain, kagawad, and SK. Do you honestly believe that of all the people running for an elective post, each one is a rotten tomato? Not a good one in the bunch? Then what does that say about your view of humankind, or your country? If you don't know how to tell the good one from the rotten, then go find out for yourself. In this age of technology and the nosy media and easy access to information, that should be so easy.

You can also ask for receipts when you go out and buy products and services. Make sure everybody is paying their taxes right. And be sure you are paying your taxes.

Go to the movie theater. Paying for pirated DVD's may be helping the underground economy, but they don't pay taxes. If you do not help the government in building schools, roads, and bridges, then what right do you have to complain that they don't do anything? You may say a large chunk of it will just go to some corrupt politician's pocket, but what right do you have to criticize if they didn't steal from you? It is odd that you should be self-righteous when you are in the sidelines.

Of course, there is a lot more to be done, but the rest is up to you. Do not expect other people to do your homework for you.

Everybody wants the perfect president, the perfect country, the perfect life, but what have you done to deserve it?

I see I'm off to a cranky New Year.

>>> lightning catcher <<<