Paracinema...The Blog

This blog is no more, because...

2010-11-06T13:09:00.000-04:00

Now all you have to do is go to www.paracinema.net for all the great online content you've come to know and love. We're bringing our football and portable CD player!!! A great time will be had by all. Come see us at our new home!

Hazard (2005)

2009-09-17T20:50:00.006-04:00

Year: 2005

Director: Sion Sono

Writer: Sion Sono, Kazuyoshi Kumakiri (contributing writer)

imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0798722/

Genre: Action/Drama

Shin is a Japanese university student living a boring and meaningless life. One day, he spots a book titled Dangerous Ways to Walk the World, in which he finds a page written about hazards in New-York. Eager to get out, he jets off to New-York to find this inspiration. He quickly does find out the hazards of the city when he is mugged and left with no money or clothes. By chance, he meets Lee and Takeda, two Japanese-American punks who take him in. With Lee and Takeda, Shin’s days in New-York are now full of excitement and danger. When they need a ride, they threaten people and take their cars. When they are hungry, they rob the deli for food. But their trouble-seeking ways eventually gets them chased by the police...

What I took from Sion Sono's film was a tightrope walk. The characters themselves were constantly swaying back and forth between poignancy and absurdity, the events and feel of the film itself moving from reality to fantasy, and even myself at times feeling anywhere from sympathetic to annoyed. As viewers, we all seem to attempt virtually the entire film to find a balance between what is and should be real, and what should be taken as fun and fantasy.

This film takes a foreign stereotype of what New York city (and possibly more of America) is, and runs with it. To the frustrated youth in "sleepy but restless" Japan, a land more defined by conformity and set rules and tradition, the view of America still as the Wild West could seem appealing. The characters are portrayed almost as children playing in a harsh adult playground, and doing so quite well.

Shin (played in a very nice role by Jô Odagiri) is living his ordinary college life in Japan, but desires danger as a change of pace. He wants to challenge himself and sees himself, maybe even the whole of Japan, as cowardly. He feels constantly grounded, and we learn through narration that his dreams of runways show his desire to take off, fly away, be free.

And he does just that. Literally screaming and dashing away from it all, Shin awakens in a gritty, dirty, pre-Giuliani New York City. Having read about the hazards in this foreign land, Shin wants to find just that... Hazard. We're never told exactly what Hazard is besides the idea of a dangerous place where rules do not apply and all can be free.

There is an awkward scene in a cab where Shin is insisting the driver take him to Hazard as the child narrator explains that still no one knows where exactly Shin intended to go. While this fits into the story, I suppose, I do find it hard to believe that someone educated and with the means to travel internationally would be so ignorant as to ask to go to Hazard like this once arriving. Maybe I just need to look at this metaphorically? His conveniently finding Hazard t-shirts for sale in Times Square was a little silly as well.

After meeting his soon-to-be partners in crime, the abrasive "half" Lee (Jai West), and the emotionally childish Takeda (Motoki Fukami), the story picks up. Shin has been overwhelmed up to this point, and looks constantly confused and nervous as he slowly fits his way into Lee and Takeda's energetic and manic lifestyles, the two selling drug-laced ice cream and rob stores at will to maintain their way of life.

My favorite scene of the film has Lee teaching Shin to speak English by reading Walt Whitman. As we see Shin slowly reading and gaining confidence while Lee simultaneously teaches him about the sorrows of the world, we start to see the human sides of Lee and even Takeda. Up to this point we are just shown their lives and actions as being without consequence. Lee symbolically holds the Empire State building in his fingertips as if it is his to destroy if he so chooses. But we also pan out and see that these world-conquerers are sitting on a big pile of garbage. Their place to go and be safe and overlook their playground is just trash. Shin walks the tightrope I mentioned earlier across this mound of trash as he is transforming into the free "American" youth.

Unfortunately for me, the film does not hold on to this reality/fantasy balancing act so well. The second half instead has our characters slipping farther into their world of violence and irresponsibility. Realism is abandoned at times, culminating in a story reminiscent of Taxi Driver, just not as adept. And after the film finishes, I am not exactly sure the characters nor the viewers have learned anything worthwhile.

Sono's view of America here as a glamorized, crime-filled West feels more from a 70s Scorsese film than it does reality. For something filmed near-documentary style with a grainy, hand-held camera, are we to assume he wants his viewers to believe this is the reality of life in New York? For example, there is an overtly-racist, crooked white cop/detective named Mike that is an unfortunate stereotype of Americans here. He is over the top and pretty grating. Does Sono want his audience to believe this is the way cops are in America, or should I just chalk it up to movie-world and move on?

That said, the film was well done and thought-provoking. I really enjoyed the soundtrack - it made it feel like an Asian film despite being largely set in New York - and despite getting a touch motion sick from the hand-cam (I'm such a sensitive boy), I thought the style of filming was emersive and kept me closer to the characters despite their defying reality.

It was just philosophically that I differed with the film, that it felt confused on whether or not it wanted to realistically portray or to glamorize the violent lifestyle, which kept it from being great. It's a fine line to tread I think, and I'm not sure Sono balances it out.

Hazard is definitely an interesting watch, and worth your time. See if you had the same feeling about it than I did... or tell me if I'm just overanalyzing a youthful Japanese fantasy of a free life away from the conformity of home.

Wolfman's Got Nards?!

2009-08-21T03:30:00.006-04:00

I am a big fan of all the classic Universal monster films, and The Wolfman is always neck and neck with Dracula and Frankenstein as my favorite old school, black and white monster movie. However, when it comes down to it, if I had to pick just one - it would be the furry guy in the top spot, but only by a hair!

With that said, I have been somewhat excited about the upcoming Wolfman comeback (unfortunately, it's not in Teen Wolf form...this time!), and the reason why I've been only somewhat excited is, I wanted to see some sort of footage, or a trailer to really get a sense of how the movie would be in the end. Though, it certainly helps to have Rick Baker on board as the creator of the Wolfman's make-up, and to add a little audio awesomeness, it is more than great to have Danny Elfman around doing the tunes. Joe Johnston has a very adequate resume, much better than say...someone like, Brett "Thank the lord he isn't directing The Wolfman" Ratner. And to top it all off, the cast is fantastic. Still, I needed to see some on screen Wolfman action, and now there is finally a trailer to check out. How is it? Check for yourself, cause it's right below!

One word? Atmosphere. And the best description for the transformation stuff would have to be, sick. This trailer full on delivers, and now the excitement and anticipation can finally begin. Whether or not the Wolfman has nards is irrelevant, because this trailer has some big, hairy, sweaty nards! That is all that matters, right? Unless you are trying to have a Wolf-family, then it's a different story I guess. This trailer is more than I could have asked for, and I hope that the film can live up to my new-found hype. Guess I'll find out February 12th!

Miracle Smile :)

2009-08-15T03:53:00.001-04:00

Ahhh…the apocalypse, how I love thee. Well, when the apocalypse is in the form of celluloid that is. For whatever sadistic reason, I never tire of this genre and I’m a little surprised that I had never heard of the 1988 nuclear war film, Miracle Mile. I guess when I don’t hear anything about a film of this nature; it must mean it isn’t very good, or no better than lackluster. However, I still was interested in checking it out and my girlfriend just so happened to pick it as the film for us to watch for the evening. I will attempt to tread lightly, but take warning, this is a film that is somewhat difficult to write about without divulging too many spoilers, so bear with me here.

While riding solo at a museum, Harry (Anthony Edwards) meets a girl named Julie (Mare Winningham), it is love at first sight as the two immediately fall for one another. Harry and Julie make a late night diner date which Harry shows up for 3 hours late after he accidentally oversleeps. He attempts to call the distraught Julie from a pay phone outside of the diner, but his apology call is for not as Julie does not answer her phone. After the failed phone call, the pay phone begins ringing off the hook; Harry takes the call only to hear a man with an insane dreaded message of impending nuclear war, nuclear war that will occur with in the next hour. After Harry makes a group of people aware of the danger to come, they arrange for a helicopter to pick them up and bring them all to the safe confines of Antarctica. After he purposely separates from the group, Harry spends the rest of the film attempting to get to his new love interest so he can take her away to the safety of Antarctica, while warning others of the nuclear doom that lies ahead. To fulfill his quest, Harry has just under an hour before the big one hits and takes out all of L.A. and the rest of the surrounding areas…talk about pressure!

Not being at all familiar with Miracle Mile, I was surprised to read about its interesting history as a script that floated around Hollywood for ten years before being made for what is a surprisingly low budget of 3.5 million dollars. The movie feels like it would have had a much larger budget and that probably has a lot to do with the top-notch direction of Steve De Jarnatt (who also scripted the film) and the gorgeously filmed L.A. locations - from the La Brea tar pits - to the streets of Miracle Mile itself. Before becoming aware of the movie’s history, I thought the film would be just some standard Hollywood fluff piece, but to my surprise, it has a ton of independent flair and creativity with the film’s direction and cinematography - to some of the movie’s stranger, yet entertaining moments. Right off the bat, Miracle Mile has a very cool opening credit sequence where the credits themselves scroll from left to right and vise versa as the camera slowly pans in a different direction for each credit, all while treated to the Tangerine Dream opening score. It is a very well done opening and introduces us to Harry and Julie as they are falling for each other without actually interacting with one another. A very artistic way to open the film and it really set the tone for me, as I was not expecting anything as creative as the opening was.

For the rest of the film, Miracle Mile has a ton of nice looking scenes that show you the world from a very open view point with many grandiose shots that give you the sense of something epic, along with some well-executed steady cam shots to be found here and there. This is what makes the film seem bigger than it is as far as the budget goes, and it really shows that you can do a whole lot with very little in terms of money. This larger than life feel of Miracle Mile, works well when in the context of what is a film about the possible nuclear destruction of the human race. It is a nice way to follow Harry as he seems so miniscule in comparison to the openness of the big city, but even as small as he may seem, his impact on people around him is gigantic in its effect.

For the story, I mostly bought into what Miracle Mile was trying to sell me. It is intriguing and at times very smart, but at other times, things are a little unbelievable. All too often, Harry will run into a character and they are all to easily convinced that Harry is telling the truth about what will happen. However, at times Harry has to resort to lying about how he knows of the upcoming nuclear threat to get people to help him reach Julie and get to da chopper in time. I like that about the film, as Harry is only basing his knowledge of nuclear missiles taking out the planet, from a phone call that could have very easily been - just a prank. Harry himself resorts to doing whatever he has to to complete his mission of love, including the before mentioned lying and also threatening people with a gun that he got his hands on earlier in the film. You cannot blame Harry for doing these things when the world may be coming to an end, but if it doesn’t really happen…well, what then?

After a series of events, Harry eventually gets to Julie and tries to bring her to safety at the landing pad where the helicopter will be, but somewhere around this time is when the rest of L.A. has caught on to the news of the planets possible nuclear demise and everyone begins to riot and rip apart the city. This is what really struck me about Miracle Mile; as all of this chaos possibly may have been caused by Harry’s overreaction to an unconfirmed phone call he received from a complete stranger. If the end of the world isn’t coming, then the rioting, the fear, and the anarchy are all on Harry for spreading the word of what may (or may not) come to be.

With a runtime of 87 minutes, the film is almost played out in real time, which gives you the sense of urgency the Harry character has to go through to complete his task. The pacing is pretty tight and the overall feel of the film is very similar to one of my favorite Scorsese films, After Hours with how everything takes place in a short span of what would be close to real time, and the feel of an open city with a lone man on a dreamlike adventure. I also felt it had a bit of a Repo Man vibe with some of the strange, yet funny sporadic occurrences found throughout the movies runtime. I wouldn’t say that Miracle Mile is quite as good as those two films - which are two films that I very much adore, but even with some similarities, Miracle Mile is totally its own film doing its own thing, and quite well I might add. At times, Miracle Mile is silly, odd, and very 80‘s, but all the while it remains quite chilling and succeeds in putting forth a sense of fear in a decade of true nuclear paranoia, and it's all done with very dreamlike qualities.

I couldn’t help but snicker when I saw the films music was done by none other than German electro group, Tangerine Dream…something about that name always made me giggle. Nevertheless, they actually do a great job and the music conveys a quirky sense of strangeness that fits in well with a film that is itself, pretty strange. Very ominous at times and with a hint of 80’s cheese (as would be expected), I really liked the films score and it added a lot to the overall feel of the film.

As with some of the characters that are too quick to believe Harry’s horror story, I had a few other issues with the film. I liked the Harry character for the most part, and Edwards does a solid job in the acting department as a character that is a bit of a social geek, but also has a budding romantic side to him. My issue with the character though, has to do with the bad decisions on the part of Harry as he lollygags to the point of frustration. I watched him continuously lose focus on the mission at hand, and I often thought to myself that this dude needs to stop fucking around and get to that goddamned chopper before it‘s too late! Yet, Harry still seemed to have to do this and that first, before finally making his way to the landing pad destination. Fittingly, Harry’s lack of urgency does lead to him running out of time, and when the predicted hour mark has passed, and all of L.A. is going to self inflicted hell, you start to think that Harry did do all of this for nothing and in turn caused some serious shit to go down as a result. Whether that is the case or not is for you to find out for yourself, of course, but it does add to the provocative question that you will have during the film…is the nuclear assault real or not? Another issue that I had with the film is probably the biggest one, and it has to do with Julie as played by Mare Winningham. Her character is pretty lame and the sight of her annoying face and ridiculous semi-mullet made me want to puke all over my lap. Her acting skills were very lackluster and amateur at best, and I cannot believe that she was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for Miracle Mile, let alone that she was ever nominated for an Oscar. The Brat Pack should be ashamed, and so shouldn‘t Harry.

My issues are minimal at best, and even hating one of the film’s main characters was not enough to keep me from loving Miracle Mile. I found it to be a surprisingly well thought out film, which has had me thinking about it even a few days after watching it. I should also bring up that there are numerous and very welcome familiar faces that are to be sporadically found throughout the film. I was thinking of listing them, but thought it be better to just put a link to IMDB because there are sooo many interesting actors (a lot of them genre) in this film, that it would just be too time consuming to go over even a few of them, and their genre credentials.

Before I finish up here, I should mention that immediately after watching Miracle Mile, I said to Lady-suzaka…Cloverfield?! I would find it hard to believe that Cloverfield writer, Drew Godard didn’t have Miracle Mile sitting firmly in the back of his mind while writing the script for his monster movie. Saying that the films are similar is putting it lightly to say the least, as they are almost exactly the same in structure. You have two characters that have both recently fallen in love (or realized they are in love) with a woman and when disaster strikes, that character goes on a personal, almost romance driven mission to save their female love interests. Both films are pretty much in real time and deal with an attack on a big city, whether it be a monster, or a nuclear warhead. With that comes an underlying representations of fear found in both films. For instance, Miracle Mile taps in on the fear of Americans during the cold war and the possibility of World War III, while Cloverfield had strong undertones that I would liken to the fear of terrorism as a result of a post September 11th New York. You could literally swap the Cloverfield monster with the nuclear threat in both of the films and they would have almost the exact same impact on the characters and the story. There is even more that I could compare about the two films, but for the sake of even more spoilers, I will keep my thoughts to myself…unless they come up in the comments section of course! I actually loved Cloverfield, and seeing the similarities to a film that came out 20 years earlier does not change that fact in any way, I just found it to be very interesting.

So in closing, Miracle Mile is available through the Netflix instant watch service at this very moment, so if you have the means, I highly recommend checking it out if you have never seen it before. I thoroughly enjoyed the film and will definitely watch it a few more times throughout my lovely existence, as I think it will be a great film to watch repeatedly just to catch on to some stuff I may have missed the first time out. If you have seen the movie, and whether or not you agree or disagree with my enjoyment of Miracle Mile, I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

Daddy issues & "The Shining"

2009-08-12T22:54:00.004-04:00

Most people would nod solemnly in agreement if I named Stanley Kubrick's The Shining as one of my top 10 films. This blog is not about the films' long, sweeping shots or the sound design or the eerie visuals. I'm here to talk about Jack Torrance. I'm here to explain why I hate Jack Torrance.

Sure it's easy to understand why one would have a distaste for this murderous character. He cut down poor Scatman Crothers like a regal ponderosa pine. He also terrorized his wife with an axe. But this isn't about Wendy. This is about Danny. Before we find ourselves in deep psychoanalysis of the paternal bond between Danny and his father, we must touch upon Jack Nicholson.

It's embarrassing how many of Nicholson's films I've seen. Of his nearly 75 entries, I have actually seen a mere 6. This hardly qualifies me to speak on the mans acting ability and I have no such intentions. I will pose this question: does he ever seem genuine? That is to say, is his natural tone one of mocking insincerity? I'm asking a legitimate question. I feel like the character of Jack Torrance was snide and easy to dislike right from the jump. I am unsure if this was intentional or simply Nicholson. For arguments sake I am going to attribute these qualities to the character.

From very early on in the film Torrance is arrogant. The way he speaks to Wendy is often condescending. But as a child who had her own daddy issues, I immediately align myself with Danny. I watched The Shining many times as a youth and even now as an adult I relate more to Danny than his mother. I was struck by how easily I slipped into the role of the child.

As the film pushes forward and Torrance begins to unhinge, his interactions with Danny become even more uncomfortable. But even before his slip into madness, Danny responds to him with unease. His demeanor with his mother is like night and day when compared to Jack. Danny shies away and becomes timid in the face of his father. The poor little boy lived in fear even before the Overlook was introduced into their lives. This is evident with the boys dislocated shoulder.

What I'm getting at here is this, to me, The Shining is about an abusive and cold father figure. That is why I hate Jack Torrance. He is the exaggerated epitome of the worst kind of absentee father; the kind that lives under the same roof.

Syndicate Sadists

2009-08-10T00:00:00.002-04:00

Having become pretty acquainted with the films of Italian auteur, Umberto Lenzi over the past year or so, I have quickly learned that I really like the films I have watched of the director quite a bit. Lenzi’s 1975 Italian crime thriller, Syndicate Sadists (aka Il giustiziere sfida la città) is based slightly off the John Rambo character (mostly in name) from the First Blood novel, and described by Lenzi himself as a modern crime version of Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars.

Before I go over the films premise, I need to mention that as Syndicate Sadists opening credits began to roll, I became extremely excited to see the name Tomas Milian roll by. I am mostly familiar with Milian from another Lenzi directed flick known as Almost Human, a film that I really enjoyed, and a good part of that enjoyment came from Milian’s performance as it clearly left an impact on me.

Okay, now that’s out of the way, Syndicate Sadists is a pretty basic story of crime, revenge, and selfless heroism. Our main character goes by the name of Rambo (played by Tomas Milian); a loner who returns to what would seem to be his old stomping grounds of Milan Italy. Rambo visits with his old friend, and police officer, Pino Scalia (Mario Piave) who informs his good pal of the gang problems the city has been having since Rambo was last in town. After a failed attempt to convince Rambo to join up with the police force, Pino attempts to make a solo bust, but ends up getting himself murdered by a couple of hooligans who are working for a notorious mob boss known as, Conti (Luciano Catenacci). As this all happens, a young boy is kidnapped by Conti’s gang for a hefty ransom resulting in Rambo trying to help bring the boy back to safety, while seeking revenge for his fallen friend. Rambo takes the law into his own hands and makes use of another unsuspecting (and naive to Rambo’s intentions) crime syndicate boss known as Paterno (Joseph Cotton), and his son, Ciccio (Adolfo Lastrettihis). Paterno has some sort of a past with Rambo, though it’s never made clear as to what that past consists of, but it is obvious that Ciccio is not the biggest Rambo fan on the face of the planet. Rambo spends the rest of the film playing the two crime organizations against one another, while trying to avenge his friend’s death, and saving the young kidnapped boy. Of course, this results in some action and also some serious ass kicking thanks to Milian as, Rambo.

Unoriginal story to a point, but I don’t think many great films always have the most original of stories to begin with. Not saying that Syndicate Sadists is a great film, but it is certainly a pretty darn good one, and the Vincenzo Mannino penned story is well executed for the most part, albeit a little confusing at times. Then again, I always seem to get confused with movies that have two crime type families the first time I watch them, it’s just a bit confusing as to who works for whom…and that may only be a problem for me.

Syndicate Sadists plot is more than serviceable to the film, and I would have to say that the movie is mostly well made with Lenzi at the helm, and also factoring in what I would assume would be a very low budget. All of the action scenes are well shot, albeit a little staged looking at times with the fight choreography. Still, the fights are quite good, and one that was a ton of fun is when Rambo lumps up a couple of baddies with a pool stick, where he then proceeds to finish one guy off by using his head as a human cue ball! 8 ball corner pocket, son! Another of many stand out action scenes is when a couple of syndicate heavies toss a Molotov cocktail at a huge truck that the police are using for a big mob sting. Thanks to the fiery distraction, the goons take off and head to safety from the police sting they just sabotaged…or so they think. As the back of the truck immediately goes up in flames, Rambo comes flying out of the flaming trucks back doors, on his motorcycle, in seriously badass fashion! This actually leads to one of the many great chase scenes that are to be found in Syndicate Sadists. Most of these scenes include Rambo on his bike, and the way they are shot, and the sense of speed is very well executed and a huge plus for the movie.

One factor that makes all of the great action, and the well-done chase scenes even greater is the presence that Milian has on screen. Everything he does looks ten times cooler, because he is doing it. Syndicate Sadists is a good film, made extremely better by Milian as Rambo, and as I said in the beginning of this post, he was a big part of what I liked about Almost Human, and is an even bigger part of what I like about this film that I am typing about here.

Tomas Milian has a screen presence unlike few I have witnessed before; the way he carries himself is so nonchalant and cool, without trying to be cool. Milian’s acting style is so interesting to watch as he is constantly moving his face around and it often seems that he is chewing on food, and many times, he is. His physiognomy is that of a bad guy, with his dark hair, beard, and worn out rough around the edge features, but he is able to show genuinely noble and morale intentions with just a few subtle facial movements. His mannerisms are great when he interacts with other characters, he almost seems like he could not be bothered with what is going on around him if it doesn’t interest him, and it comes off as very realistic as he is just so natural on screen. He rather reminds me of De Niro before De Niro became a caricature of himself. Even when he is riding his motorcycle, Milian’s demeanor is so cool in the way he rides, as he has this slouching, kick-backed appearance to him. He commands the screen and the viewer’s attention with out overacting or chewing up all the scenery, and it is a great joy to watch this man act.

*Removes Milian’s penis from mouth*

Rambo as a character is one that I enjoyed. Even with him being a guy that plays by his own rules and looks as bad (if not badder) as any bad guy to be found in Syndicate Sadists, he never comes off as a bad person. Rambo is a good guy that is trying to help the right people with no regard for his own safety and well being…he has the look of an anti hero, with out the anti hero characteristics and pitfalls. With Syndicate Sadists plot (and the close-ups!) taking from A Fistful of Dollars, the look of the Rambo character seems to have been slightly inspired by another Sergio Leone film from a few years earlier, Duck, You Sucker! Much like John H. Mallory (played masterfully by one James Coburn), when you first meet Rambo, his face is completely covered like a ninja (both characters wearing some type of a red bandana), with a pair of dark, wide eyed, bike goggles protecting his eyes from the wind. Both characters kinda look like bugs and each have to almost unravel their faces to reveal who they are to the audience. In addition, like Mallory, Rambo’s vehicle of choice is a motorbike.

One last great thing that I loved about Rambo is some of the great lines of dialogue written for the character. They’re almost along the lines of one-liners, but actually witty, very tough sounding, and so wonderfully delivered by a dubbed (?!) Milian. In one scene, Rambo is trying to find out who killed his friend Pino, by repeatedly smashing a mobsters head into the ground. When the gangster says it wasn’t him that did it, Rambo replies with “I don‘t wanna know that shit man…It‘s my script and I know all the lines. You want me to start killing off characters, or you gotta give me the dialogue as read!” One other great little scene that shows how badass Rambo is, is when he’s fighting two thugs, one of them says to the other “He‘s all mine!” Wherein Rambo replies with “Yeah, stay outta the way…I‘m all his.” Now that is a bad motherfucking ass line if I have ever heard one.

As I may have enjoyed Syndicate Sadists for it‘s solid action scenes and some of the great dialogue, it is very obvious that I really liked this film for Milian, Rambo, and how Milian portrayed Rambo. I am also happy that I have found an actor that I will from now on be on the look out for in other films of the Italian influence. Chances are you have seen Milian (who is surprisingly [to me] a U.S. citizen) in his more recent movies as he has done some American film work since the early 90’s. I personally find him to be an impressive lead actor and all of you out there reading this need to try to check out either Syndicate Sadists or Almost Human. Both are very good films in the Euro-crime genre, and both have a performance from Milian well worth seeking out.

"Blahblahblah Whale Watching Massacre"

2009-08-08T01:11:00.002-04:00

It's actually Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre. I've just been pronouncing it wrong, so I typed it the way I say it out loud. I came across the trailer the other day on Twitch. I was super intrigued and wanted to share.

It's an Icelandic film, so I mean, that's cool. There is also a lot of blood spitting in the trailer. I'm a fan of mouth blood. Actually, there seems to be quite a bit of blood and gore in general. I'm OK with that, I just hope it isn't super over the top and bordering on goofy. Twitch and imdb have a September release date in Iceland. I look forward to it hitting the states.

Matt was obviously taken with the trailer and badass poster as well.

She Loves to Do the...Wild Thing(s)

2009-08-07T13:30:00.004-04:00

Awesome new trailer for Spike Jonze's adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are...I can't even express how excited I am for this film!

I just watched "Boogie Nights" for the first time

2009-08-06T00:24:00.008-04:00

Crazy right?

I have a pile of movies-I-should-have-seen-but-haven't. What's my excuse? I don't have one. Sometimes things slip through the cracks. Sometimes instead of watching a "classic" (subjective term!) I put on Shaun of the Dead for the 19th time. After I watch films I've put off and pushed aside I'm usually regretful that it took me so long to see them. I can now add Boogie Nights to this list.

I'm not sure what to say about this film that hasn't already been said. People have had 12 years to gush over the performances and Paul Thomas Anderson. I just feel obligated to blog about a film I feel so strongly for. It has been some time since I have watched something that has elicited so many emotions from me. Boogie Nights has easily climbed into my top 10.

This cast is stellar. Even Heather Graham, who I view as the weakest link, was believable and a joy to watch. Don Cheadle was likable and sympathetic; John C. Reilly was hysterical without being a caricature; Burt Reynolds was busy being the film icon that he is; and of course Mark Wahlberg was great. Julianne Moore is one of my favorite actresses and I was enraptured every time she was on screen. I love that woman!

In my opinion this film is flawless. The plot, the characters and their choices were all believable and I was completely sucked in. From the awkwardness of Wahlberg's character early in the film to Moore's maternal breakdown, I was emotionally invested. By the end I was sitting there hoping everyone would be OK. It says a lot when a film filled with questionable characters has you rooting for their happiness.

Now I will list in a very disjointed, fangirl fashion, all my favorite scenes. This will include spoilers as I am assuming everyone is not as lame as me and didn't wait 12 years to see this.
I adored all the music. It managed to permeate the scenes without being distracting. I loved how much Reynold's character hated video. It was so dated yet such a realistic reaction of a man set in his ways. I loved when Graham kicked that asshole kids head in with her skates. HA! I loved Alfred Molina (and I know Joe does too!). I loved Thomas Jane. And as a Buffy fan, I loved how one of the 4 kids Phillip Baker Hall brings to the New Years Eve party was Tom Lenk.

I wish I had more intelligent, insightful and interesting things to say. That's OK though because Paracinema Magazine issue 7 will have the article "'A Mile of Dick and No Balls' John Holmes, Eddie Nash and the Wonderland Murders at the Movies" by Roy Maurer.

Stalking...in a Winter...Wonderland

2009-08-03T02:50:00.002-04:00

Assuming you have read Christine’s post (cause it‘s right below this one!) about a film that, strangely enough, I just so happened to start writing about the very same evening she posted her blog. I find it to be quite the exciting coincidence, and I am happy to be able to bring yet another view of the film, to you, the person right in front of this computer screen. Hope you, and of course, Christine, enjoy my take on Fritt Vilt.

It’s nice to hear about something coming out of Norway that isn’t Black Metal related, not that I don’t love me some of that good ol’ church burnin’, satanic driven, Black Metal music, it would just be nice to hear about something else coming from out of that country. Black Metal, and of course, Vikings. Not really known for their horror films, Norwegian director, Roar (like a dungeon dragon?) Uthaug’s Slasher film, Fritt Vilt made a modest splash a few years back before it was released here in the States under the title, Cold Prey. I heard about the film numerous times, and that was along with Let the right One In, [REC], and Inside, really showing the diversity in completely different countries putting out some quality horror films. Even with a pretty basic plot, and not quite as great as those other films, Fritt Vilt is a very strong entrance to the horror party for first time feature director, Roar (Cloverfield?) Uthaug.

Fritt Vilt’s strength stems from the film making all the way, with skilled artistry put into the look and style of this film. Use of colors are nice, from some of the interior shots of the cold steel, sterile lit, long hallways of the hotel location, to the other areas where everything is dark and dingy from slight elemental exposure and age. Major stand out for me is, I love the gorgeous snow covered mountains and how enveloping they are to the characters and there location. Freezing winds and snow blanket the scenery, taking over the landscape and depriving the setting of oxygen and life, leaving the setting with the emptiest of feelings.

Throughout the introduction process, it quickly seems that the characters will be your average teen-ish kids that you would come to expect, but that is only a thought. By time the group has their snowboarding trip stopped in its tracks, due to one of the guys breaking his leg; they actually seem to be a lot better than most teens of the Slasher genre. They have almost normal conversations, no one does anything crazy, or wacky, and they are all mostly likable. Most movies would have the uber stereotypical film clique, the jock, the Goth, the silly guy, the black guy that loves hip-hop and is extra thugged out. Ya know, cause thugs hang with jocks, Goths, and silly guys and vice versa. Fritt Vilt’s characters have slight aspects of those overly stereotyped characters, but it is so minuscule, as they are believable as a group of friends that would actually be on a snowboarding trip together.

When the characters take shelter at the abandoned hotel so they can care for their friends busted leg, they learn that the hotel has some rather storied past involving a missing boy, with a birthmark covering a large area around one of his eyes. Having no cell phone service and being too far from their car, the five friends stick around the hotel for a little while, and of course enjoy some delicious alcoholic beverages. Some do a little exploring, a few others chill and do some drinking, and the character development is pretty good, also, the characters avoid the Slasher pitfalls of getting wasted to the point of acting moronic. Even when one of the couples seems to go off to bone, they don't, because the girl doesn’t want to rush things. Prude. One character is unrealistically handy, quick on her feet, and has some serious doctor skills when it comes to fixing up her injured buddy, something that is always pretty lame in other films. Still, where Fritt Vilt differs from other Slashers films is, it at least avoids a useless explanation. There’s no line about “How bad it sucked learning this stuff in medical school,” or “That time when her drunk mother fell down the stairs and broke her leg, and she had to fix it,” or anything like that, it is what it is, and no pointless waste of time explanation is given.

I can say how I like the characters, their development is a nice change of pace, and I think they are much better than the average horror film pals are, that also factors into some of the films issues too. There are only five characters, and I know I suck at math, but five characters means there is very little room for killing more than five people. It also means that you have a ton of time before even the first character becomes victim to the films killer. In fact, it took excessively long for even a second character to be killed. Fritt Vilt is around 98 minutes, and could have very easily shaved off 10 or so minutes that would have really sped things up. This is a classic example of a film that kept me in, but got real close to losing me at times. With a lack of kills that are few and far between, they aren’t all that hardcore either. The first kill is very cool and lasts for a decent amount of time but a few were too fast, and major letdowns in the ferocity and carnage department. There is even a *SPOILER!* neck break! Really? A neck break?!

With the lack of kills in Fritt Vilt, it makes it difficult to convey a sense of threat when you do not see or hear the killer. When on screen though, he is pretty bad-ass looking, and those moments really ramp up the tension as the teens try to avoid the monstrous menace while in the tightly confined cavernous hotel location. The killer has a wicked burly snowsuit that looked to have some fur on it, but the fur was so dirty and grungy that it was almost unrecognizable. With a huge pickaxe by his side, he also wore a hood that covered a good portion of his face, along with a beat up ski mask, and a pair of goggles keeping his appearance hidden; all while being very natural and realistic to what a snow-mountain man serial killer would look like. To be honest, I think the killer in Fritt Vilt may be one of the coolest and most intimidating movie monsters I have seen since the 80’s…and the 80’s were the 80’s, so that is pretty high fucking praise for a Slasher villain. However, it is too bad that the killer didn’t get more screen time.

It is insanely obvious who your final girl will be by time you near the end of Fritt Vilt, and it is even more obvious if you have ever seen the poster for Fritt Vilt II. Further more, if you can‘t figure out who the killer may be, then you must be Helen Keller. Those minor issues aside, with the lack of killer presence, kills, and kills that usually result in a few excited obscenities from myself, everything is almost completely made up for in the films closing moments. Fritt Vilt has an awesome ending that is a major change of pace from the rest of the films runtime, and made me wish that the film had been more like the ending all along. Knowing that there is a Fritt Vilt II, and also hearing great things about it, makes me real excited to see if they can keep up with the intensity and adrenaline found at the end of the first film.

Fritt Vilt is a great film in many ways. Thanks to some characters that were much better than usual (especially for a Slasher), a dope ass killer, a great setting, and an ending that is one hell of a joy ride, I was swayed and forgiving of the films many issues and shitfalls by the movies end time. Roar (Altered Beast!?) Uthaug is definitely a director with major talent, skill, and is some one to look forward to in the future. He is currently co-directing a film that would be described as a children’s fantasy called (get ready for this one, spell check!) Julenatt i Blåfjell, which could very possibly be interesting. I am now pretty excited to check out the well received sequel to Fritt Vilt (unfortunately not directed by Roar [ing 20‘s] Uthaug), and there has been very recent news about a third film in the works. So, Fritt Vilt isn’t the second coming of Krueger by any means, but maybe we have a new Slasher series that could be equivalent, if not better than most of the Slasher films since the genres 80’s heyday. I’ll get back to you on that thought after I see Fritt Vilt II.

Cold Prey

2009-07-31T03:31:00.004-04:00

I love netflix. Do you know what I love even more than netflix? That's right! Instant watch on netflix! If it wasn't for the truly inspired merger of xbox and netflix I most likely wouldn't have seen Cold Prey.

Cold Prey is a Norwegian thriller/slasher. 5 friends go snowboarding in some pretty glorious mountains and end up stranded in an abandon hotel. They begin to *spoiler!* get killed off. Ya know what, I'm going to get my label gun out and call this one a straight slasher. At this point in my paragraph I am struggling with what to say. Everything I start to type comes across hateful and unforgiving. I did not hate this movie. The thing is, I didn't really like it either.

Let's start on a positive note; Cold Prey is gorgeous. If the setting and the snow are supporting characters, then the abandoned 70's ski lodge is the leading man. The structure itself was the only interesting thing in the film. The creepy and ominous nature of the lodge was the only thing building tension. Welcome to the negative.

There was nothing different, shocking, challenging or memorable (other than the setting) about Cold Prey. The plot was predictable and stale. This film was just very formulaic to me. I may be asking for too much. I myself said not 2 paragraphs ago that this was a "straight slasher". Since when are slashers supposed to challenge viewers?

In the end, Cold Prey was entertaining enough. The snow and the abandoned propriety make it worth a watch. I am really curious to see what other people thought of this film. I knew very little going in and I was a bit saddened this film never went outside the box.

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!

2009-07-30T23:40:00.004-04:00

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is the web's hottest new genre film blog, written by our very own Matt. You may know Matt from such posts as "Your Mother's Like A Doorknob...Everyone Gets A Turn!" and "You can't piss on hospitality...I WON'T ALLOW IT!!". If you're even a casual reader of this blog you already know the man's work. He's funny, He's knowledgeable and we love him! Check out his first post HERE, it's a clip from the movie Undefeatable. What a way to start!

Too Cool For School

2009-07-28T00:00:00.009-04:00

I often enjoy the writings of a great little movie blog titled Quiet Cool that is written by my very knowledgeable pal, Hans. Always thinking it was just a catchy little name, I was intrigued when I saw that there was a film of that same inspirational title while searching the bowels of the HD section of my On-Demand. I was yet even more intrigued when I saw that the one and only James Remar is the lead in this 1986 Clay Borris directed mish-mash of genres.

Right out of the gate you get the original New Line Cinema intro flickering on, like a dirty red light in some crust ridden alleyway, which instantly got me excited since I haven’t seen that logo in who knows how long. Moving right in to the familiar sounds of the sexy 80’s saxophone that was almost a staple of so many gritty crime/cop dramas from the decade of the beast, we are introduced to a sleepy police officer, Joe Dylanne (Remar) as he awakes from slumber…in full clothing. Joe rolls over, reaches for the pizza at the foot of his bed, and takes a big, thick, bite out of it! To be perfectly clear here…he is eating pizza that was left out all night long (or longer) in his lavish pigsty of an apartment (complete with motorcycle inside) all while collecting diarrhetics and other such food born illnesses. Maybe this film should have stared James Dia-Remar.

After he probably did not take a shower, Joe hits the streets of New York City on his motorcycle where he witnesses a smooth criminal on roller skates rob an unwary woman for her purse. For the record, he may be a thief, but at least this eight-wheeled bandit is thinking of safety as he wears a nice red helmet to match with his stylish yet skate friendly blue and red outfit. Remar, I “mean” Joe, being a man of the law (and a rollerblader) isn’t down with roller skate dudes that steal purses, and the big motorcycle/roller skate chase scene through the city begins. Not afraid to take it from the streets to the sidewalk, Joe can’t be shook off as easy as this inter-skate thief would like, so roller girl decides it’s time to make his way down into the safety of the subways. You know that shit aint gonna stop Joe, and it doesn’t as he rides on into the underground subway system right after the bandit, even going as far as to drive right into a subway car! It’s a great 80’s cop/action chase scene as it is funny and entertaining while showing you that Joe isn’t a cop that lives by the rules, he rules by the way he lives! He is the often grumpy, out of control, by his own rules cop, that while being a little sketchy with his methods, is one that is good at what he does. Which is apparently catching roller skaters. Hey…someone’s gotta do it.

In a completely different setting, Quiet Cool’s next scene is introduced by a faux (too old to be a) hippy couple as they are laying 69 style in a hammock whilst listening to California Dreaming on a fast forward only “walkman” that has dual headphones pumping in the inspirational music, as their hands slightly touch during their moment of peaceful bliss. Next, we meet the couple’s son Joshua (Adam Coleman Howard ), who after a little adventuring into the woods, comes to witness the death of a young man by a group of four motorcycle riding tough guys, who also double as a drug cartel trying to protect their pot farm from punk ass tattle tales. Joshua runs back to his parents, screaming about what he saw, but not too far behind is the gang. When they show up, the fearsome foursome cold-bloodedly kill both of Joshua’s parents before they focus their attention on Joshua, who gets his ass lassoed and dragged from the back of a bike until he is tossed right off of a cliff, falling to his death. This drug cartel is surprising since some old man in the woods (think Bill Lee) could achieve the same drug racket results without the use of four thugs, let alone the other ten or so cartel employees who have yet to show up in Quiet Cool. However, the main four baddies (the ones that killed Joshua and his rents) are amazing to look at in their diversity, and enjoyable in the actors that play them. Starting out with Valence played by Nick Cassavetes, the leader of the pack, who rocks out in all black. Then you got the red head red looking dude named, well, Red as played by one time John Rambo victim, Chris Mulkey. Cairo is the creepy, hair slicked back, all leather gimp minus the mask played by the not so well known horror genre vet, Clayton Landey. Adding yet another shade to this criminal color scheme is Pink, who actually is not pink at all, but very much similar in appearance to an albino person, an albino person played by Tim Shepard himself, Brooks Gardner.

As it turns out, the slain parents and teenage boy are related to a pretty little thang named Katy (Daphne Ashbrook), who just so happens to be an ex-girlfriend of Joe. After her family is missing for a few days, Katy has no one else to turn to and calls Joe for help. Of course, Joe takes off with the quickness and heads right out to Babylon, California to do a little investigating and help his one time lover. After some more intercourse-inducing saxophone plays, Joe reaches his destination of Babylon, which is a very small town, set deep in the wilderness. Joe meets up with Katy where she tells him about her missing brother and family, and she also informs him that the town has become ridden with gangsters who have ruined the quite peaceful town it once was with their pot ring and loud motorbikes. Most of the town has become corrupt, and the ones that are not in on the dope scheme, are afraid for their lives. Gang leader Valence has a network of thugs, towns folk, and even Babylon’s only police officer, Sherriff Prior (Jared Martin from the War of the Worlds TV show!) in his pocket. With big city Joe on the scene poking his nose around, Valence’s thugs attempt to cause trouble for Joe and his old bed buddy, Katy. One scene that is nothing of any original value, but great nonetheless is when Joe and Katy go to visit Katy’s mother at the bar where she works, when two of Valence’s men begin giving Katy a hard time. By hard time I mean, one of the guys is making rude “gestures” such as performing oral sex on his beer bottle (very sanitary), he then does that thing where if you make a peace sign with your fingers, turn your hand so your knuckles are facing away from you, and insert your tongue in between said fingers. Not really sure what it means, but it cant be good, because Joe gets up and lets the Babylon baboons know who’s the boss up in this piece in a scene that results in Joe doing a little mustache trim job on one of the Babylon bullies.

At some point during all of this great Joe action, it is learned that Joshua survived his motorcycle led cliff fall and after getting his bearings together again, decides it’s time for a little vengeance! Being the son of two hippie dorks with money and living most of his life in the woods; Joshua is well adapted to the elements and is almost Rambonian © in a way. Joshua’s “awesome” first revenge filled attack is on one of Valence’s compounds surrounded by a few of his men. Actually, when I say compound, I mean a place one-step above a lemonade stand that is protected by one of Valence’s most valuable players, Toker (Joe Sagal), who as you may have guessed based off his name, is getting baked while keeping an eye on the so-called compound. Toker is soon joined by a few other baddies including one of Valence‘s top dogs, Cairo who is making sure everything is copacetic. Then, from completely out of nowhere, a flaming arrow hits a container of gas next to the compound courtesy of Joshua! Shit blows up and the reaction from stoned is the way of the walk himself, Toker, is so hysterical as he yells out “COOL!” when the fireball engulfs the air. Cairo on the other hand is straight buggin’ yelling “SAVE THE GRASS!” in fear of losing all of their product. Joshua making mincemeat out of one of the outposts really pisses Valence off, and thankfully so, as Valence takes it out on Toker, blaming him for being too stoned to protect the goods. Valence takes his lit cigarette and shoves it into Toker’s ear as he yells, “SMOKE THIS!” Lesson learned.

All of the ruckus from Joshua’s attack gets the attention of Joe who runs into Joshua and is very relieved to see that he is still alive. Joe and Joshua team up to take on the rest of the thugs and rid the town of Babylon of this marijuana menace that has plagued its inhabitants for far to long. It’s a great match up as Josh is a kid of the woods, whose weapons of choice are familiarity with his surroundings and things like bow and arrows, spears, and sling shots. Joe on the other hand has his gun and his guts. He is out of his element, but with Joshua by his side, they can do some serious damage together. Quiet Cool as I brought up in the opening is a mish-mash of genres and two of them are clearly represented by Joe and Joshua themselves. Joe represents the 80’s cop character with a chip on his shoulder seen in many a film from Cobra to Dirty Harry, and to an extent, something like Beverly Hills Cop. You have the opening scene that as I said is very reminiscent of a cop film from that time period and it even goes right up into the use of that sexy saxophone (which became less as the film went on) I brought up a few times. Joshua on the other hand, represents feral revenge in the name of his murdered family ala First Blood, Predator, or any number of survivalist films that have come before and after Quiet Cool. This seems to come up a lot in the movies I have previously written about; one genre that is merged with the survivalist genre in some way or another…works for me almost every time and works for me in Quiet Cool too.

One of the stronger aspects of Quiet Cool for me is of course Remar himself as Joe. A character that goes through a slight change that fits in with the direction of the movie by the final reel. Joe and the film start off as fun and action packed with a slight sense of humor in how the movie and the character are handled. By the end of the film though, Joe seemed very different, like he has gone through an evolution of sorts. He is still a badass, but he is a badass in a different way than you would find in a crime/cop film, which is how he seemed in the first act. This character change fits in well with the genre that Quiet Cool really is deep down in its bones, and that is of a Western film. It would not seem at all like a Western in the first half, but when you think about some of the story I brought up in this here review thingy, the structure is that of a Western film. Remar’s character Joe in the end is a cowboy that has been called in to help a town that’s been brought to its knees by a band of bad guys. By the end of the film, Quiet Cool has almost completely transitioned into a Western especially when you see the fantastic finale between Joe/Joshua, Valence, and some of Valence’s leftover thugs.

With all of these different types of genre conventions in use, Quiet Cool is susceptible to being looked at as uncreative or unoriginal. I wouldn’t disagree because Quiet Cool is filled with genre clichés, but I can only say that I see a director in Clay Borris (who also co-wrote) that made a film that he wanted to make, filled with genre aspects that he loves. To his credit, he does a pretty great job of it (in all aspects) as Quiet Cool is truly all killer no filler, and I could even make a slight comparison to Tarantino, who is the king of taking his favorite parts of different types of genres and melding them together to his personal liking resulting in a hybrid film of sorts. This is no Tarantino film by any stretch, but it is a very good one, and like a Tarantino film, if you are a fan of the movie types that are influencing the end result, you will like what you see in Quiet Cool. I know I did.

Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf

2009-07-26T17:51:00.005-04:00

Found this trailer for the film, Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf on Twitch today and thought I would share it with you...cause you're mouth is purdy. The influences are as clear as day from the awesome posters, the 1:38 of coolness that is found on the following video, and right up through the story of…“A blind samurai that battles seven assassins in a remote town to get to the psychopath who murdered his family and took his eyesight.” Now that’s my kinda story! Check it out…

Need I say more? Well, maybe I’ll just say that I cannot wait for the “uncensored” version…if ya know what I mean. Also, this is one of those films that look like it could be a blast, or a complete bust. I of course am hoping for the former. No luck on a release date yet, but the film is making its festival run and hopefully it will see a DVD release soon enough. Here is the official website for more details.

I CAN HAZ TRON LEGACY?!

2009-07-25T15:12:00.006-04:00

I'm sure everyone has already seen this, but I had to post it. Tron was one of my favorite childhood movies and I've been hoping for another one since I could fully comprehend the concept of a sequel. This thing looks amazing. (Watch it full screen!)

Right??? Of course the visuals are amazing and updated as expected, but the sound design of this trailer was really striking to me. Sound has always been an important part of Tron. The sound design of the first film really gave the imaginative world in which the film took place a more weighty and textured feel. From the digital roar of the light cycles to the wall breaking of the game grid, the sound is what grounded the film and made it bit more realistic...As realistic as a computer world can be, I suppose. It's a relief to see, or should I say hear, that they've continued to focus on the sound rather than forgetting about it completely. From what I've read Daft Punk will handle the score, which is okay I guess...The subtle music used in the trailer works great, I just hope the score doesn't get too obnoxious and works within the framework Wendy Carlos laid out for the first film.

Although I dread Hollywood's plan to produce 3D movies by the truckload, I'm okay with this being 3D. Immersing myself into the world of Tron and hanging out with Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) sounds like THE best time ever. Conversely, being immersed in the world of My Bloody Valentine 3D and surrounded by bad actors (save for Tommy Atkins, of course) delivering awful lines terribly, was just painful. I've heard a number of theories as to what the plot will be, but I'm ignoring all of them until I read something a bit more official. Judging from the new trailer, it seems as if Kevin Flynn's original computer program "Clu" has a bit of a dark side. Bruce Boxleitner is rumored to be reprising his role as Alan Bradley and with any luck, Tron. I wasn't anticipating this level of excitement for this movie but I'm super pumped, the trailer did not disappoint.

In closing, I'd like to leave you with a clip from the light cycle scene from the first film. Sure, it may look a bit dated and goofy, but for 1982, it was quite impressive.

I'd like a 300 word paper comparing and contrasting the Tron and Tron Legacy clips from this blog post on my desk Monday morning. Or you can just leave a comment instead!

Stretchin' to the Oldies

2009-07-25T03:00:00.005-04:00

Since my girlfriend is big time into Yoga, I thought I would show her some love and post this odd little trailer for the Korean Horror flick, Yoga. She loves Yoga, and has enjoyed the Korean films that we have watched together, so this film should be right up her alley! I’m actually not sure if it’s called Yoga, Yoga School, or Yoga Institute, as those are all names that came up when trying to find out shit for this film. It doesn’t really matter since there probably isn’t too many Yoga horror films coming out this year, so as long as Yoga is in the title, it shouldn’t be too difficult figuring out that it’s this movie…as long as they don’t throw a 9 in there, we should be okay.

Anywho, Yoga is directed by Yoon Jae-yeon, who brought us Whispering Corridors 3: Wishing Stairs (or just Wishing Stairs in the U.S.), and is about five insecure women who in the hope for eternal beauty, seek out a mysterious yoga school. They are told that only one of the woman will be able to master the intensive course and attain the beauty that they so desire, and in this intensive yoga course, the woman must follow five rules (like Mogwai!) in order to reach their ultimate goal 1. No eating 2. No taking showers until an hour after class ends 3. No looking into a mirror 4. No leaving the building 5. No calling anyone. Sounds easy enough, but when some of the girls begin to break these easy to follow rules, things start to seem a little off kilter about this school of hard-bods. Here is the trailer that is unfortunately not in English…sorry yo.

I have more than once stated that I love me some good Korean cinema, and even with the film having a completely silly concept (that I still kinda dig) I think it looks promising. The set design is very nice looking, the ladies are hot and in compromisingly wonderful positions, any type of improper body contortion is very cringe inducing, and those sounds that the contorting bodies make are causing me serious bitter beer face. Plus, it is nice to see someone make a horror film for the yoga community, since their only fear before this, was sharting while in downward dog. Yoga…whatever it’s called will be out in Korean theaters on August 20th, so that should mean it would make its way to the States in a decent amount of time. I cannot wait, my girlfriends gonna be so scared that she’s may want to cuddle for safety...that’s prime opportunity to work in a make out session!

Prom Night 2008?!

2009-07-21T00:49:00.000-04:00

Why would I subject myself to watching a movie that is so highly revered as a pile of doo doo, you ask? Curiosity I guess. Or maybe I’m a sort of movie masochist that feels the need to watch every horror movie scraped from the very bottom of the barrel, even though I know (sometimes) that they won’t be any good. There are plenty of awful movies that are in some way, shape, or form, mildly entertaining, fun to watch, and some almost transcend the bad veneer with a sense of passion or skill from the people involved with the so-called bad films. Therefore, when I say bottom of the barrel, I am referring to films that are the direct definition of unoriginal and pointless. Movies that have no heart, and are just meant to cash in on the weak and easily influenced youth of today. Perfect example of this is the movie I watched last night, Prom Night. However, I think it only fair to myself as a film fan, namely a horror fan, that I don’t just close mindedly shut out a movie, but instead give it a fair shot, and a fair review.

First we meet Donna (Brittany Snow), who after coming home one night, finds her father and brother brutally murdered. When she realizes that the killer is still in the house, Donna hides under a bed, where she ends up witnessing her mothers death by a man asking where Donna is. Turns out that this has already happened and Donna is trying to cope with the vicious trauma she has gone through as she is telling this terrible tale to her shrink. But, who cares about some dude that killed your family when PROM!! is just around the corner! A chance to wear cute, sassy dresses and hopefully only have to give your boyfriend a hand job instead of giving it up completely. How exciting!! Almost immediately, Prom Night goes right into the lame getting ready for the big dance montage, complete with the “princess for a day!” walk down the stairs scene with the whole “you look beautiful” and all. I was even lucky enough to get the wacky and fun montage of the teens hanging out of a sunroof as their heading to the Prom, all while jammin’ out to some shitty pop song as the hot teens are ridin’ ditr-teh in the stretch. This Prom is already kicking so much ass!

Things don’t get any more original or realistic when Donna and her diverse group of pals roll into the prom. A prom complete with a red carpet, fans, and paparazzi?! Of course, this Prom is mad tight and at the nicest location possible with the budget of 5 million high school dollars that aren‘t being spent on books or teachers’ salaries. Donna and her clique are clearly in for the time of their lives; except for one thing…the man that killed Donna’s family and tried to kill her has surprisingly escaped from prison. We find this out thanks to Detective Winn (Idris Elba), the cop that arrested the killer when the murders had happened. Thankfully, Detective Winn conveniently takes the time to tell his newer partner, Nash (James Ransone) about what had happened in full detail. Turns out the killer was a high school teacher named Richard Fenton (Johnathon Schaech) who had become overly obsessed with Donna when she was just a freshman. Her parents of course put out a restraining order on Fenton to keep him away from the young girl, but Fenton doesn’t exactly take kindly to this and the result is him killing the family to get to Donna.

Now, Fenton is free again and heading to Prom…a Prom that is straight up and off the hook, with the DJ spinnin’ all the hottest beats as the teens are throwing down dance moves with style and pizzazz!! Convenience is key when the Prom is attached to a hotel that Donna and her group of friends happen to be staying at for the rest of the night. Fenton makes his way into the hotel, and through a series of yawn inducing events, finds out which room Donna and her posse are staying in. It is somewhere around this point that the first un-flashback kill happens. Fenton brilliantly fakes out a maid by saying his key card wont work; the maid lets Fenton in the room giving him the chance to kill her. Nevertheless, back to the dance where they are dropping confetti (and hot beats) everywhere!!! I love the pretty colors all around me! Weee! Got any booze?

As expected, Detective Winn and Nash show up to watch out for Donna from a distance, all while being oblivious to the threat that is just an elevator ride away. From here on out, Donna’s crew of sexy teens with tude, each find a way up to the hotel room and right into the clutches of Fenton, who disperses of each victim with a sick ass knife he bought at a swap meet. I will be brief for the sake of spoilers, though it is pointless to keep this film spoil free with it being completely and 100% predictable. Eventually things go awry when Det. Winn learns that Fenton is actually at the Prom (well, in the building attached) and he evacuates the kick-ass dance of my dreams…yup, that pig ruined Prom. Just as that shit was getting hot too!! Big problem now, is the cops lost sight of Donna and cannot find Fenton either…cat and mouse, commence!

Overall, the acting in Prom Night is actually decent. Brittany Snow as Donna is talent put to complete waste with a soulless character that left her with absolutely nothing to chew on. This is a good role to get her face out there more than it already has, as she has been very successful in the acting field. However, it’s not a role that will expand her acting abilities in anyway. Richard Fenton as played by Johnathon Schaech, has appeared in a ton of good and bad movies, and also has a fair share of genre films under his belt. I know him best as the creep from The Doom Generation that ate the cum off his hand. Just typing that made me wish I hadn’t written this post while eating some fruit on the bottom yogurt. I thought Schaech did a pretty good job as the killer, but his menace could quite possibly be related to the whole cum slurping thing that will forever plague my psyche. It definitely wasn’t the baseball cap and the brown blazer that Fenton wore that frightened me, that much I know.

Prom Night’s Director, Nelson McCormick, who just so happens to be doing The Stepfather remake has done a ton of television and is mostly competent in his hired gun directors role. Prom Night is clean looking and acceptably shot, with a few scenes that were noticeable as being somewhat impressive. However, there is little to no tension to be found whatsoever, and that blame could be placed on both the Director, and/or maybe even the film’s editor.

As far as the writing and the story goes, Prom Night is a massive failure that is as uncreative and predictable as any film I have ever seen. There are so many movie clichés to be found and I sure as hell will spend the time to go over some of them. Of course, I already brought up the stereotypical dope ass Prom that is nothing like any Prom that any person has ever been to. These are Proms that are only comparable to the parties thrown for the spoiled brats on the classy MTV series, My Super Sweet 16. You also are in for a scene where Donna expresses fear about her past tragedy to her hunky beau, wherein he tells her that he will never let anything happen to her, and he will always keep her safe and out of harm’s way. Sure you will tough guy; lets see you protect her from a swap meet knife-wielding loony. Uhh ohh, this is around the time that I talk about Donna and her friend’s special moment! They figure out that “this is it…the last hurrah” “high school is over” “it‘s the time of our lives and they‘re almost over for good.” But you know what, one of them will be at state, so he’ll be close, another will be home on holidays, so they can all still see each other...cause they are friends forever! Blah, blah, fucking blah. Then there‘s the great scene where Donna, as the only witness to the murders has to ID Fenton through a one sided mirror. Of course, Fenton magically senses Donna is there and stares at her through the mirror as he talks about their love for one another. Donna starts to bug out, repeatedly saying she wants to leave, when all she has to do was just walk away from the one-way mirror! Dumb ass. I could keep going, but you look tired and I have other shit to talk about, so I’ll move on and attempt to keep this post under epic length.

How are the kills? would be what you are now wondering. There are kills…that are done with a knife…uhhh, that’s about it. Almost every kill is off screen and in the hotel room. There wasn’t anymore than a quarter cup of blood used in Prom Night, and the only real bloodletting was in one of the few kills outside of the hotel room. It is a throat slice that was edited so fast, that it wasn’t really shown and the blood splats across the other side of a tarp. Great editing cause it looked like you saw the character get their throat slit, but it being the best kill is sad since it would be the weakest kill in any other Slasher. A kill just meant to fill a quota.

An in name only remake of the 1980 Canadian Slasher classic (?), Prom Night cost about 20 mil and made just a hair more than that back in the opening weekend alone, thus resulting in it being at the coveted number one spot. Prom Night eventually went on to double that budget in its full theatrical run domestically, making it a pretty successful film. Even though Prom Night was lambasted by critics across the board, still the tweens went out and saw it, resulting in Prom Night becoming the poster boy for what all true horror fans hate about the films that have been representing “our” genre in theaters. If Prom Night had failed at the box office, it would have only been barely noticed by genre filmgoers, instead, it became the target, and to some, the definition of what is wrong with the current state of theatrical horror. However, the movie is not completely what is wrong with cinematic horror; it’s the people that go to the theaters where a bulk of the problem lies. It doesn’t help any that Prom Night is a, dare I say it…remake. Egad! Even worse so is Prom Night is rated PG-13, a rating that to me doesn’t mean a film can’t be scary by any means, but we are talking about a movie that would have to be considered a Slasher film. For the sake of argument, Prom Night is not necessarily a remake since it really has nothing to do with the original except for the Prom setting and the idea of there being a killer. If it were called “The Big Dance” instead, then no one would probably even take notice. Then again, the idea of cashing in on the title of a Slasher film from the 80’s might be reason enough to drink down da hater-aid. So, fair enough on the hate I guess.

Prom Night is just shows what makes many current horror films successful. It isn’t us; the hardcore horror fans that are making these films huge...it is the general audience. I used to think that maybe horror fans where being too lazy to go out and support a film like Land of the Dead or The Devil’s Rejects and more recently Drag Me To Hell (essentially “our” films), resulting in them being unsuccessful at the box office, whether they were good or not. Now I am starting to realize, that there aren’t enough of us that are out there to see them, and the only way a film will do well in the mainstream market is if it attracts more than the horror crowd, i.e. the youthful texting teens of our present times. This is more or less the same reason why a movie like Trick ’r Treat or Midnight Meat Train did not get full theatrical runs when they were originally supposed to.

If you really pay attention to the box office, the films that seem to consistently do well are kid’s movies, whether they be animated or live action. I think that while in a way, horror fans can hate Prom Night for what it is; we also might have to come to terms with the film being essentially, made for kids. Not little kids of course, but teens. I wouldn’t be too worried about a 12 year old seeing this film as I saw WAY worse shit when I was that age. Prom Night has almost no blood, most of the violence is off screen, it has little to no swearing, the sexuality is no more than a kissing scene, and it has good-looking teens dancing to that hippity hop music that kids be loving these days.

So, what it comes down to, is even with all of the things that are wrong with Prom Night, it isn’t as bad as a lot of films I have seen. It isn’t any good if you’ve been paying attention, but it is a film that is essentially made for kids…not for a 32-year-old international sex symbol like myself.

Walter Cronkite vs. Master Control Program

2009-07-17T22:52:00.003-04:00

1916 - 2009
Rest in peace Mr. Cronkite.

If you happen to be in LA this August...

2009-07-16T22:55:00.004-04:00

Our good pal Jason Cuadrado has an epically amazing short that is going to appear in the HollyShorts Film Festival August 8-13. The film is called Monstrous Nature and here is a synopsis:

Angela (Camillia Sanes) has been kidnapped from her church and dragged into the middle of the woods. She wakes up handcuffed to Paul (Gary Perez) who wants her help to free him from his violent, murderous nature. But it's not prayer he needs from Angela... As the night goes on and the full moon rises, it becomes dangerous clear that Angela will have to choose between her faith and her life. Can she survive long enough to deliver him from the beast inside him?

Here is my official blah blah blahing on this film:

Monstrous Nature is the perfect example of how powerful a short film can be. Clocking in at 15 minutes, MN depicts the internal struggles of an obviously disturbed man. This is a classic premise that proves to be powerful in its simplicity. Writer/director Jason Cuadrado effortlessly creates an atmosphere that is filled with foreboding and thick with dread.

The lean 2 person cast delivers expertly written dialogue that is ripe with emotion. Creating multidimensional characters that viewers actually care for is not an easy feat. It’s an even more difficult task to accomplish in a mere 15 minutes.

MN is, at its heart, a character driven story. What separates it from the pack is the perfectly executed supernatural element. The practical effects are on par with a much larger budget film. MN knows its strengths and uses them wisely. Cuadrado has effectively created a tight 15 minutes of film that will leave the viewer wanting more.

This short seriously blew my mind! Jason Cuadrado is a director to watch. He is insanely talented and one of our biggest cheerleaders. If you are in the LA area I highly recommend checking this out! I will be sure to post any new festival dates as I find out about them. You can find out more about Monstrous Nature here and check out screening info here .

Dance Dance Revolution

2009-07-16T14:28:00.005-04:00

Oh man, this trailer is dope. I just posted the teaser for Raging Phoenix a little while ago, and while that was a pretty cool glimpse at what the movie will be like, this trailer really shows you the amount of potential to be found when mixing Martial Arts and hip-hop. Check out the new trailer after these words...

First off, did you see that guy using "the worm" to fend off foes?! The fighting styles look so cool, and the mix of dancing and fighting have a very Drunken Boxing look to them. I love Drunken Boxing. This trailer has me extremely excited to see Raging Phoenix, and has also inspired me to finally buy that breakdance instructional video I've always wanted...

Raging Phoenix

2009-07-11T02:29:00.009-04:00

Oh the joy and the happiness found in me bones when I ran into the teaser for Raging Phoenix (Du Suay Doo), the newest film staring Thai Martial Arts super sensation, JeeJa Yanin. JeeJa made a huge splash onto the Martial Arts scene with her 2008 debut film, Chocolate. If you read my review of Chocolate, then you will already know that I loved that film, and even more, loved JeeJa Yanin as a young autistic girl on a path of sassy destruction. So, it should be easy to figure that I am wicked excited for a new film from her, and after seeing this newly released teaser for Director Rashane Limtrakul’s Raging Phoenix, I am even more pumped.

Not really sure as to what the story may actually be about, Raging Phoenix has a blend of hip hop music, hip hop dancing, and a romance between JeeJa’s character and her co-star Patrick Tang. Sounds so terrible, yet so fucking great! I will bank that this film will be much better than that one movie with Jet Li and Ashanti…but then again, walking in on your Nana while she’s taking a dump is better than that piece of crap film. Wiping (get it) away that visual and moving on, those are elements that haven’t gone all to well in previous films, and it sounds just plain terrible on paper, but on film, it looks like it could be pretty fun and semi different from your average Martial Arts film…namely one from Thailand. All right, enough of my yappin’ already, here is the teaser…

See that dude spinning around on his hands?! I thought it was Eddy from Tekken for a second there! You can see the hip-hop influence in some of the brief fighting moments, and they look great. Not sure, how far the hip-hop will go outside of maybe influencing the fighting style, I am kinda hoping it is like Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo meets Chocolate, but that may be a wet dream never realized outside of my own slumber. No real romance to be found, but it is just a teaser for a movie that has the Chocolate hype behind it, so keeping with the fighting elements is probably just a marketing thing. Either way, JeeJa is dope, so isn’t this teaser, and I cannot wait for Raging Phoenix to make its way into my DVD player. It is set to be released in Thailand on August 12th of this year, so hopefully with the popularity of Chocolate; Raging Phoenix is on the fast track to a stateside release.

Thanks For the Ride Lady!

2009-07-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

As a director, Stuart Gordon is still relevant and has transcended many a horror director of his generation by not being afraid to color outside the lines of conventional fright films. However, Gordon never strays too far, always keeping the horror within an earshot in various ways. Be it the violence of King of the Ants, the depravity of Edmond, or the story of a man Stuck inside a woman’s car windshield after a hit and run automobile accident.

2007’s Stuck is a Stuart Gordon vehicle (see what I just did there?!) with a plot that in one way is as simple as that, a man stuck in a windshield and left to die. However, as it turns out, Stuck is also a deeply layered character study that goes beyond your average black comedy.

Loosely based off of an insane, yet very true story, Stuck follows two main characters; Tom (Stephen Rea), who has recently run into some very tough times in his life. Tom has been evicted from his apartment just before an interview at a job placement agency, that due to an unfortunate computer error is botched and leaves Tom with no chance of getting a job. This series of events results in Tom being homeless and sleeping on a park bench. Then there’s ghetto superstar Brandi (Mena Suvari), who works as a nursing home aide and is being considered for a huge promotion at her job. Brandi celebrates this good news by going out to da club and getting cocked with here “bad news bear” boy toy/drug dealer, Rashid (Russell Hornsby), who feeds her ecstasy throughout the night.

On her way home to meet with Rashid for some of that good lovin‘, a wasted Brandi swerves all over the road as she is blasted and on her cell phone not paying any attention to the road. This is when Brandi and Tom first meet, unfortunately for Tom, it’s because she hits him with her car head on, resulting in Tom being lodged head first in the windshield. Over the limit, and not sure what to do about it, Brandi drives home and parks her new human enhanced hybrid in the garage, leaving Tom to die as she tries to figure out what to do about the situation. Instead of resolving the problem, Brandi takes some more “E” and sticks with her original plan of getting some of that Rashid action, only to wake up the next morning to find Tom still alive in her windshield. Afraid to ruin her possible new promotion (and essentially her life) because of drunk driving, Brandi leaves Tom to die while she tries to devise a plan to get rid of the evidence, thus keeping her out of trouble. All the while, Tom tries to hold on to dear life and survive this tragic ordeal any way he can, as he is once again in a situation that he cannot control.

I’ll start by saying that Stuck is a very black comedy, that while being a horrible situation, is a situation that is open to some humor. Outside of a few scenes and a funny opening at the old folks home set to some tight hip hop music, I wouldn’t consider Stuck’s humor to be very in your face as the comedy elements are “mostly” naturalistic and more about the naivety and lack of compassion from Brandi’s character. Once scene has Tom reaching for and honking the car horn, Brandi desperately tries to stop him and in an evil turn, knocks him out with a 2x4. My favorite line in the film happens soon after that, when Brandi gets in the car and looks Tom dead in the eyes and says, “Why are you doing this to me?” That line made me chuckle quite a bit. Only thing that would have been better, is if Brandy in her best Arnold impression told Tom to "Stick around."

Of course, with a situation involving a man trapped in a windshield, there are some gruesome moments in Stuck. The initial car accident is pretty awesome looking with how its shot and is kinda frightening when it happens. Though a little on the fake side with the windshield glass breaking into big shards instead of spider webbing like a windshield does in real life. Nevertheless, it’s still very cool looking, incorrect or not. Another scene has Tom trying to reach a cell phone left in the car by Brandi, but a broken windshield wiper is jammed into the side of his abdomen causing him great pain. Tom (with very little leverage) tries to lift his body and dislodge the wiper blade, and while you don’t actually see it in his skin because of his clothing, its still a painful scene to watch. One other scene that was very cool and somewhat gruesome is one that I wont go into details about, because it’s spoiler city. I’ll just say that it proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword…you’ll know what I’m talking about if you see the film. Same goes for the justified, ironic, and very entertaining ending that had me wearing a shit eating grin and loving every minute of Stucks finale.

I can safely say that I really enjoyed Stuck for its humorous moments, and its horrific scenes, but the thing I like most about the film is the characters of Tom and Brandi, and how there lives are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

Brandi’s life is going perfectly, she’s young and full of life, she is doing great at work with the possibility of a promotion and she even has landed the man of “her” dreams in Rashid. Her life is on the up rise and only looking to get better, that is until her chance meeting with Tom. Tom on the other hand is as low as it gets, he’s old and worn out, he’s jobless, homeless, and defeated. It would seem that Tom’s life couldn’t get any worse, that is until he literally runs into Brandi. Now Brandi’s life can only get worse, while Tom’s can only get better…unless he dies that is. The two characters are complete opposites in their respected times in life, but in their encounter, everything changes and goes in a different direction for each of them. I really liked this aspect of Stuck and found it to be very smart on Gordon’s (who wrote it) part to have the characters be so contrasting.

Tom’s character is even more developed, intricate, and metaphoric than in his comparison to Brandi. The metaphor is as simple as a man whose life has gone to complete shit; he is so down in the dumps and has almost completely given up on life. He is figuratively stuck in a bad situation that he can’t get himself out of and then literally stuck when trapped in the cars windshield. This of course gives the character another arc, where no matter how bad everything has gone for this man, he still want’s to live, and he will fight as hard as he can to survive his biggest road block in life. This would seem to be a (very harsh) turning point in Tom’s life, where he tries to find the strength to make it through this impossible ordeal, as opposed to just giving up as he had done before when faced with a tough challenge.

I guess you could make a similar case for Brandi’s character that had everything going right for her, but now everything is spinning out of her control as her life is crumbling before her very own eyes. She finds out that Rashid isn’t all that faithful to her (in what is another very funny scene); her career is in jeopardy, along with possibly her freedom if she is found to have committed such a crime. She too is stuck in a situation that she cannot control, and has no idea how to deal with it all. In addition, as with Tom, this is Brandi’s life altering turning point, where she is trying to fight to keep her world from going down the proverbial toilet.

Pretty brilliant character development if you ask me.

So, with a film that for me works as a solid black comedy, I found it to be a nice surprise to have such a well developed set of characters that pushed Stuck up a few notches in the “I like this movie” category. And I did very much enjoy the film and pretty much love most of what Stuart Gordon has done all throughout his career as he is doing some solid films, and I anticipate anything he works on (AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR HOUSE OF RE-ANIMATOR!). I can feel confident in suggesting Stuck to any fan of Gordon’s work, to any fan of good black comedies, and to anyone that likes complex characters, development, and depth in their films.

Z Channel & Choke & Hancock OH MY!

2009-07-05T19:55:00.009-04:00

It seems as of late that I watch a film and it slowly slides out of my brain pan. Nothing has really stuck enough for me to sit down and write about it. So to remedy this, I give you a giant mishmash of stuff!

Choke
Anyone who follows me on twitter (www.twitter.com/Paracinema) may have caught my slightly disillusioned tweets after viewing. Even days later I can't put my finger on what I disliked about the whole affair. For anyone who doesn't know Choke is the screen adaptation of a Chuck Palahniuk novel of the same name. I really enjoyed that book and even though it's been years since I read it, I remember it effected me deeply. I was expecting the movie to do the same and it just didn't. The acting was solid, the adaptation was OK; there was no glaring reason why this should have left such a "meh" taste in my mouth. Dare I blame the direction? Although I'm not positive that's the root of my issues, I can't think of any other reasons. I certainly didn't hate it. It just felt a tad hollow.

Lifeboat
Lifeboat is my new favorite Hitchcock film. Sure there isn't any blackmail or torrid love affairs or even a strangling; just some people stranded in a lifeboat. Let the hi jinks ensue! I love people trapped places! It really becomes a study on the human condition. This is a solid and entertaining 96 minutes based on a John Steinbeck story. It's fast moving and very satisfying. Give it a whirl, it's on netflix instant watch!

Hancock
Why did I watch this? Curiosity. And instant watch. Hancock had a lot of potential. I was roped in by the setup. Unlike many, I am a fan of Will Smith and I find his characters to be empathetic. The alternate reality where a superhero is just something to deal with was a fascinating premise that Smith pulled off rather convincingly. It's a shame the film didn't continue along that same route. I would have been content watching 90 minutes of the characters strife and struggle in a world where he has become a burden. Instead I got *spoiler* Charlize Theron flying around and quickly trying to shoehorn in a lengthy back story and complex mythology *end spoiler*. It was a super fun cast and I did chuckle a few times. I love you instant watch!

Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession
Where to begin... Z Channel is probably one of the most perfectly executed documentaries I have ever watched. I had never heard of the pay channel known as Z Channel and I am overcome with jealousy that I will never know it's sweet embrace. For a genre fan, hell for any fan of film, Z Channel is like a wet dream! The documentary expertly balances the individual yet often overlapping tales of the rise of the channel, the movies it brought into the mainstream and the man who made it all happen. This is a staple in any film fans collection. The rewatchability is so high because of the documentaries many focuses. You could spend the whole running time just jotting down films you now have to track down. It's not every day you find something of this nature with a compelling story and heart that is also informative.

So that's what I've been watching. That and Doctor Who.

Stuck in the middle with you, and you, and you…

2009-07-05T00:00:00.003-04:00

On my top 10 most anticipated films of 2009 list, I had the upcoming David Morley French zombie film, Mutants, at the number 5 spot. Well, as it turns out, Mutants isn’t the only dead-kid on the zombie block. What’s this you say?! Another French lensed zombie film?! I thought, “There can be only one?” Well that is thankfully not the case here as I have stumbled upon yet another zombie film from the land of hairy armpited women. It is titled La Horde (or The Horde if you believe in freedom), and the story is as follows…"Looking to take revenge for a slain fellow police officer, four shady cops go after the ruthless gangsters behind the murder in an abandoned building that serves as the gangsters hideout. After being trapped inside of the building, the gangsters and police officers are forced to fight for their lives from an unexpected zombie horde, causing the sworn enemies to form unexpected alliances with each other in the name of staying alive.”

As I said when I posted about Mutants, I am excited to see any film in the horror genre put forth by the French, and that excitement isn’t any different in the case of La Horde. It’s very cool that both Mutants and La Horde look completely different from one another, while both being of zombie nature. Mutants looks to be a very personal zombie film with very few characters to push the story forward, while La Horde on the other hand has a lot more characters to follow and of course with a title like La Horde, you can expect a shit ton of zombies. Plus, on top of zombies, you got cops and gangsters! It’s like Johnnie To’s Breaking News with zombies...and no news crew of course. Check out the trailer below…

Pretty cool looking right? Has that very gritty, yet clean looking French style to it, and the last shot of that dude trapped right in the middle of the zombie horde is great…I cant believe how many zombies are actually in that shot! Wish I knew what that guy was yelling though, probably something along the lines of “You‘re stepping on my new Air Jordan‘s!” La Horde is written and directed by virtual newcomers Yannick Dahan, and Benjamin Rocher, but the big name involved is that of the films producer, Xavier Gens. Gens is of course the director of one of the earlier in the “not all that new any more” new wave of French horror with his 2007 film Frontière(s) and also the director behind the video game film adaptation Hitman. I found Frontière(s) to be an enjoyable watch even though it was a little slow in the first half, but the second half of the film is pretty satisfying with some great scenes and the ending was strong in my opinion. Though it was not as “hardcore” as promised, I overall like that film and Gens name being involved will obviously result in La Horde getting a little more attention from horror fans. No official release date for La Horde at this moment, but it seems that the movie will be out sometime this year, I will certainly keep my eyes peeled on any news of this film.

Have a Happy 4th of July...

2009-07-04T04:27:00.003-04:00

...or else.