PARENT FORWARD

Toddlers Read Too

2015-12-05T14:52:00.000-05:00

http://youtu.be/R8vy912Ykeghttp://youtu.be/R8vy912Ykeg For the Love of Books

Writing on Purpose: Deborah E. Brown at TEDxCharlotteED

2015-12-05T08:17:00.001-05:00

How and Why We Read: Crash Course English Literature #1

2015-12-03T16:10:00.001-05:00

2015-05-24T09:14:00.000-04:00

Ten Ways to Keep Old Friends Near and Dear

There are all kinds of friends: new friends, work friends, family friends, and then there are our oldest, dearest, and best friends. While building and maintaining friendships in our lives is important for our health and wellbeing, keeping connected with our closest old friends is really good for our emotional, physical, and even mental health. It’s also a great way to send a healthy message to our children that friendship matters and is worth nurturing over a lifetime. We can be role models for our kids simply by reaching out to old friends, and encouraging new friendships between our own children. It's important to remember and to teach our children how to keep old friendships going strong. Just because we may not live close to an old friend, it doesn't mean they have to be out of our thoughts. In fact, research shows that when these friendships are kept kindled, they are good for us.

Our oldest and dearest friends are those who know us best. They are the special people in our lives who remind us of where we came from, validate the person we are, understand us best, and know what’s really important to us. They build us up emotionally. It’s important to teach our children the importance of making friends and keeping those friends over the long-term. In an age where the world has become increasingly smaller and people have easily traveled long distances for career, studies, and new opportunities, staying connected can be a challenge.

10 Tips for Nurturing Old Friendships

1. “Make no excuses.” It’s easy to let our busy lives get in the way. There will always be work, school and kid’s activities, community events, and family obligations; what’s important to remember is that it is hard work setting aside extra time to spend time with old friends who live far away, but it is work that is well worth the effort, especially as we grow older.

2. Check in with old friends at least every couple months. You can do this through a text, phone call, email, or by sending a card. Trade the time spent making excuses for moments spent reaching out.

3. Set time aside for a visit. There is nothing like time spent together reconnecting over a meal, sipping wine, or doing something fun with an old friend. Spending time together will help to strengthen the old memories while creating new ones, adding layers of emotional reinforcement to our wellbeing.

4. Include your children in your relationship. Share old stories, look at old photos, tell your kids what it was like growing up together, it will give your children a sense of their own past, and a chance to learn more about you from another point of view.

5. Emphasize the importance of old friends. Show your children how beneficial old friendships can be by honoring the time spent together with reflections and thank you follow-ups. Share messages of thanks, photos of the visit, make a call to send your appreciation that your friend took the time to spend time with you.

6. Remember to give one another the space to be able to pick up where you leave off, guilt-free, the next time you get together. Accentuate the positive when you are together, spend the time catching up, watching the kids interact, and sharing old stories. Never make an old friend feel badly for not calling or writing more in between visits. Be thankful for the time you get to spend with one another.

7. If you have children and your old friend has children be sure to spend some time together as families – there is nothing as effective as teaching your children the importance of old friendships through your own role modeling example.

8. Place value on the time set aside for being with old friends, even if it is inconvenient, work to make it happen. If plans get cancelled for any reason, reschedule right away, keep trying until you do connect. Put a plan in place and keep that plan a first priority. Make the commitment to show you care.

9. At the same time, keep an open mind and get creative in your calendar. If you have to be somewhere for another commitment or reason and it is near a friend’s take advantage and carve out time for your friend, even if means a grabbing a cup of coffee or settling for lunch as opposed to an overnight visit. If an opportunity presents itself, let spontaneity happen to keep the friendship’s momentum going. Enjoy and cherish the time spent together and you'll feel good that you are keeping those connections alive.

10. Keep contact information updated and at the ready. The more organized you are, the easy it will be to reach out to your friend, even if it means a catch-up phone call or a quick text to let your friend know you are thinking of her/him. A little effort in keeping those old and dearest relationships alive and well goes a long way later on when we want our closest friends by our side.

Good Luck! Good Parenting!!

Bon

Simple Powerful Gender-Neutral Toys Are Most Effective

2015-05-12T17:16:00.000-04:00

The power of play.

As parents we’ve all experienced the innovation that unfolds before our eyes when a child surprisingly becomes more interested in the box than the packaged brand new toy that came in it. Maybe the innate desire to create something new is emergent even in our youngest learners. I believe it is. Give a child a safe cabinet of pots, pans, and stainless steel mixing bowls with a handful of wooden spoons and dishtowels and suddenly a child is forming his/her own one-kid band and inviting you to join their parade. Let a child build with blankets, chairs, and pillows, and before you know it you’ll be invited into a fortress castle of imagination. Let a child dig and build in beach sand, collect shells, seaweed, and stones and magically it becomes an exercise in physics.

The point is to sit back and watch your child go, engage periodically with questions when it spurs on thoughtful conversation, and let your child discover for him/herself what is possible when they are given the time and space to explore and create. You’ll see how much fun it can be. Soon you’ll be a child again yourself!

Remember, simple is better when it comes to child’s play. Here is a list of toys I believe to be most impactful when it comes to a child’s positive development. All the experts still maintain that blocks are by far the best toys for boys and girls alike. In my house, both our two daughters and two sons played with blocks and loved Legos, wooden blocks, and Tinker Toys to name a few. In fact, my daughter who is now a mom in her early thirties, still plays Legos only now it’s with her young sons.

Try to find balance between the active and passive roles shared between child and parent, and the discovery which happens during free play along with the processing which happens during more guided play. The key is balance. Relax, be a kid again.

Visit http://www.naeyc.org/content/research-news-you-can-use-play-vs-learning to learn more.

Bon’s Best List of Simple Toys for Boys and Girls

Ø Blocks of all kinds

Ø Simple wooden toys such as cars and trucks

Ø Road signs, houses, trees, etc. to create imaginative environments

Ø Animals and people figures for role play

Ø Boxes of all sizes

Ø Pillows, blankets, sheets, chairs

Ø Pails, buckets, spoons, rakes, shovels

Ø Paper, markers, pencil, paints, chalk, and crayons

Collin creates the world he imagines with simple materials.

10 Ways to Fill Your Empty Nest

2015-05-09T07:22:00.002-04:00

If you are moving into the phase of empty nesting, it is time to line your nest with new feathers!

There are many terrific things about empty nesting that will help to make the transition from mothering children living at home to mothering children who are on their own. Aside from the obvious like less loads of laundry, saving money on groceries and gas, not having to stay up waiting for them to come home at night, and spending a lot of energy enforcing house rules, becoming an empty nester is a chance to rediscover yourself.

You gave birth and you worked hard raising your babies into adulthood and it is bittersweet letting go, but, if you prepare (and even if you don’t) it can also be a wonderful time of rebirth, a time to celebrate a sense of independence for both parent and emerging adult child.

It’s a time when a parent can look forward to new hopes for the future, and a time to embrace your newfound freedom.

Ø Fly the coop: Get involved in your community by volunteering. Become a mentor. Reconnect with old friends, or join a chorus of new ones. Fill your home with new faces.

Ø Perch, preen, flap your wings, and strut your stuff: Treat yourself to a day of beauty. Try new menus. Enjoy your favorite physical activities. Keep your body strong and your spirits high.

Ø Clean the Coop: Get organized, start by donating anything you don’t need in the nest. Clean the clutter, breathe.

Ø Soar to new heights: Challenge your mind, body, and spirit, and try something you've never tried before.

Ø Come in for a landing: Pick up old hobbies again, fine tune your skill or talent, delve in deeper.

Ø Take a bird's eye view: Read, travel, learn, and experience new cultures and surroundings.

Ø Spread your wings: Take advantage of the newfound time and space your empty nest provides.

Ø Build and rebuild. Demonstrate gratitude. Honor your nest and nurture for sheltering family and for continuing to shelter you.

Ø Sing praises: Express yourself. Be creative. Take up poetry, painting, sculpting, knitting, gardening, or meditating. Find your voice and make a difference in your life and the life of others.

Ø Fly away and return home: Renovate your home. Move. Reflect. Let go of unpleasant memories and celebrate the joyful ones. Look forward to making new memories as an empty nester. Look at your life as a memoir. How would you write the second half?

Just because the kids are all moved out and on their own doesn't mean you can't plan some fun reunions. A hike and picnic atop Mt. Percival with my daughters and new grandson.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! -Bon

Devices Have There Place: A Pictography of Other Things for Kids to Do (Dock Your Device and Live It Up!)

2015-04-30T12:47:00.001-04:00

All of these photos were taken using my mobile phone, and then we put it away. We typically watch one movie (maybe) over the course of a weekend visit - there are just too many wonderful things to do such as watch wildlife from the porch for instance, and there just isn't time to play a video game, although I will honor fifteen minutes or so if it is requested, but then we are on to so many other great things. We simply move on and get to the business of having real-time fun together. Aways share the stories of others together through all forms of print publication. And allow your imaginations to unfold. Remember to make your own stories count too. Stow the electronic devices and try real activities, my grandsons love to bake, and make it an expectation not a debate. You'll be surprised how much fun it is for you and your little one. Engaging in real life experiences is the best way to help children grow holistically. The mind, body, and spirit benefits from a child's real-life interactions and it helps to keep a child thriving physically and emotionally by strengthening gross and fine motor skills, connecting neurological pathways of learning, and building confidence, empathy, and communication skills that a child will have for lifetime.

Good Parenting Takes Practice and Perseverance!!!!

(Your kids will thank you.)

-Bon :)

Taking a Photo (Then getting to some amazing things to do that do not include electronic devices.)

Trying Something New

Building

Role Playing

Doing Something Alone

Visiting New Places

Cuddling

Experimenting

Running

Swimming

Helping

Making something for someone you care about.

Board Gaming

Perusing Museums

Hiking

Reading

Creating

Playing

Sharing stories.

Cell Phones Are Distracting Too Many Parents

2015-04-30T11:27:00.001-04:00

Cell Phones Are Distracting Too Many Parents - Are you one? Take the dare and put your device down when you spend time with your kids.

:)

~~Good Luck!~~ Good Parenting has little to do with it.

Rekindling communication when couples grow cold

2015-04-27T13:03:00.000-04:00

My husband and I had come down with frustrating colds making for a pretty cold and distant home life for a couple days, which was more painful than being sick. I decided to break the ice with a note of appreciation, even though neither of us had enough energy to appreciate the other in our times of need. Often couples bicker and become stubborn out of feeling misunderstood and hurt. He felt this. I felt this. After leaving a three-by-five card listing three things I appreciated about him, he eventually followed suit. The ice was broken and our personal Cold War averted.

-Bon

2015-04-17T00:08:00.000-04:00

Ways to practice writing at home with little ones who cannot write yet:

1. Write their stories for them: Stories can be found in the pictures they draw for you. Invite them to tell you about their artwork and transcribe their words onto the paper, display it where they can see.

2. Create a list: Invite your child to help you form a list. We make all kinds of lists in our daily lives. Listing is a great way to practice writing and introduces kids to writing in a practical way.

3. Encourage your child to express him or herself: Help your child to send a text, or to write an email or a letter, or even to leave a voice message. Allow your child to sign a card by him or herself. Note your child's thoughts in a short sentiment. These are examples of ways in which to express feelings through words, and will help to build confidence.

4. Write in all places: Write in the sand at the beach, or in a steamy bathroom mirror, or on your phone app like Notepad.

Always keep an eye out for found moments where both you and your child can engage in the practice of writing together. Maybe your child tells a story or says something that makes you smile- write it down together. When your child is ready to go off to school, he or she will be better prepared and more comfortable with the idea of writing because it will have been a habit already gotten into at home.

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!
Bon

Daughter, Jillian, writing.

Tracking Jill: Winter Trail Nibble: Rose Hips

2015-02-08T09:24:00.001-05:00

Tracking Jill: Winter Trail Nibble: Rose Hips: Rose Hips in January You have been snowshoeing for the past 2 1/2 hours, trudging through the deep fluff and the whipping wind, armored ...

Mothers: Children are the ambassadors of hope

2014-10-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

As technology expands, the world grows smaller, and more and more, we are all in, this thing called life, together. Communication is a powerful thing. I like to remind my university students that, when we write, we think, and those thoughts can move us to action. My husband always said to our children, "You are ambassadors for this family." He was talking about their responsibility to friends,school, and community when they were growing up, and now that they're adults, that philosophy goes with them as they form relationships, parent, and travel both nationally and internationally. Since then, their father's mantra serves as a dependable multi-tool they've always been able to utilize.

As, Carolyn Miles, CEO of Save the Children puts it, mothers and children are the key to cooperation and peace in an ever-shrinking world, and much of building skills for good communication starts right at home with our own families. I've often said, 'if only the world were run by mothers and children' - and as a mother and grandmother, I realize how my actions and attitudes influence the way in which my children view the world. What's more, their attitudes inevitably touch every person they encounter and engage with, from family and friends,to the clerk at the grocer, to those colleagues at work, and as a result, I believe those small, but potent ripples that lapped their own childhoods, add up to create a shore of love and cooperation.

The role of mother as a child's mentor is far-reaching, not only having the power to influence one loved child, but filling the communication landscape with the potential to hold infinite possibilities of hope and cooperation, ultimately sharing positive and powerful messages with every deed, which extend far beyond the family nucleus, especially when a child begins to interact with friends, community, and the world at large. The next time you have a conversation with your child, think of the powerful role you have as a parent. Your actions count. What you say counts. Think of the opportunity to share ideas, think of the opportunities to model those peaceful ideas, and think of the ripples one act of kindness can send out into the world we all share.

Parents Pantoum

2014-07-28T13:57:00.000-04:00

Dear Parent,
Do you ever feel like your kids are just not getting you?
This poem will make you feel some sense of redemption from that parental befuddlement we all experience from time to time.

:)
Good Luck! Good Parenting!!

Here's the link: http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/parents-pantoum
Parents Pantoum

Five Ways to Save Our Most Precious Resource: Our Children

2014-07-14T12:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Parent,

Doing all the right things as a parent seems so incredibly obvious, yet why are so many of us worried about the state of our children these days? Have parents become stressed-out to the point of complacency?

Look, parenting is tough work. There is no be-all-end-all simple solution to the everyday job of parenting. It is an ongoing proposition that never goes away as long as we are parents and we have children in our lives. It's exhausting. It's all-consuming. It's not glamorous. And yet, it's wonderful in those small and very important ways which come back to you in the form of little miracles, for instance when your toddler uses her manners on her own.

So, the next time you hear someone complain that they already told their toddler once before, or that they have already explained to a middle-schooler the way things are, or that they have made their final and 'for-the-last-time' point to their teen and that is it... give them a great big smile, and maybe even a sympathetic ear. Then, when your fellow parent is done stating the impossible, lovingly remind them that, hello! parenting is not easy!

As parents, we are expected to give protection and guidance from birth to five, protection, encouragement, and guidance from five to adolescence, and tough-love and guidance from adolescence to young adulthood, and support and a caring ear from then on. It's a process that is so labor-intensive in the beginning, it's almost hard to do it justice in a blog post.

Sorry. There is no magic pill, no one-word answer, no quick remedy to the selfless and insane act of parenting. So, parents, please remind your fellow parents to take all that useless wasted energy of complaining, and start putting the elbow grease of parenting to work, the difficult and yes, rewarding work of parenting. As parents, let's put an end to complaining, comparing, and excuse-making, and let's start supporting one another! Let's not forget our most precious resource is our children.

Not sure what to do? Just ask yourself this: What would Grandma say? Now there's a beginning and a good one at that.

In the meantime try this:
1. Err on the side of expecting more from your child, start with simple manners and keep moving up.
2. Don't fall into the dumbing-down trap, children are extremely intelligent little beings.
3. Teach patience, respect, and love. Children are capable of all three when you show them how.
4. Teach kindness to all people and all living things.
5. Role model all of the above. (That is where it's at!)

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!
Bon :)

A Film for Family

2014-05-05T07:26:00.001-04:00

Wonderful. Provocative. The documentary "Babies" brings light to the four corners of the Earth and how we parent. Lovely.

Link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB36k0hGxDM

Don't Throw Baby Out With the BathA Good Bath

2014-05-04T09:55:00.000-04:00

After Bath

Dear Parents,

"You cannot spoil a baby. Babies are good. Babies are inherently good. It's parents who need to learn how not to be bad." - BJT

Dr. Harvey Karp explains more about this on the website Happiest Baby.Com -

Here's a question many parents, myself included, have struggled with when it comes to our crying babies:

"Going to your baby every time she cries will [that] spoil her?"

"NO – Rather than getting spoiled, young babies who are attended to each time they cry become secure and confident in the love of those around them! Remember, in the uterus, babies are held, jiggled and shushed 24 hours a day, so from their point of view even being cuddled 16 hours a day is a huge cutback." -Dr. Karp.

I could not agree more with Dr. Karp! There were many times my husband and I felt a sense of guilt for going to our babies and holding them when our four children were infants.
Parents, we have three choices when it comes to parenting: doing exactly what our parents did, doing exactly the opposite, or finding middle ground that feels right. I suggest spending time with parents whose parenting style you feel is right and to follow their example.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Harvey Karp last year and I encourage all parents to visit The Happiest Baby! http://www.happiestbaby.com/going-to-your-baby-every-time-she-cries-will-spoil-her/

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!
Bon :)

Swinging Into Spring!

2014-04-30T14:52:00.001-04:00

One spring day we read a story about a boy who loved to swing. "Can I do that, Papa?"

We found a sturdy tree. "Hold steady."

We got some bright yellow rope. "H-m-m."

We worked together, "Here, Papa!"

And then...

"W-e-e-e-e!!"

5 Tips for New Parents

2014-04-30T09:28:00.000-04:00

Add caption

Baby Steven's First Hike at 1 Month

Five Tips for New Moms (and Dads):

As soon you are feeling up to it - get outside and get some vitamin D and fresh air.

Quick Tips Mantra

1. Breathe.

2. Breathe.

3. Breathe.

4. Breathe.

5. Remember, breathe!

Bringing a baby home for the first time can be overwhelming. But if you remember to surround yourself with friends and family who support you, you will be able to cope more easily. Trust me, trying to control everything or staying up to do housework isn't worth your rest. So ask for help.

Remember to take time for yourself, eat well, let others help you, and rest whenever you can with your new baby. A lot of bonding goes on between you and your baby through touch, scent, and voice. Don't feel guilty about taking some down-time together! And a little me-time once you feel ready is okay – even necessary - so go out and get that facial or massage or pedicure, take some time for yourself and enjoy, guilt-free! You are a new mom and you certainly deserve it, so congratulations! And that goes for dads, as well!

Good luck!! Good parenting!! :-)
Bon
www.bonniejtoomeydotcom.wordpress.com

PARENT FORWARD: Encouraging Your Child's Voice

2014-04-27T12:57:00.001-04:00

PARENT FORWARD: Encouraging Your Child's Voice: Viewing the World "Interview your child. Ask like you mean it. Listen as if you were going to pass it down. Learn so much ...

Encouraging Your Child's Voice

2014-04-27T12:54:00.000-04:00

Viewing the World

"Interview your child.

Ask like you mean it.

Listen as if you were

going to pass it down.

Learn so much about

yourself and others." - BJT

Collin wanted me to interview him when he heard me interviewing, first a university lecturer, and then a performance musician, for a couple of newspaper features. So...I used the note pad app on my phone to record my questions and his beautiful and thoughtful answers which will stay with me forever. The interview was fun (for both of us- he was so into it) and it was also a nice window into how he views the world.

I believe we tell our stories to one another so we don't have to be alone and when we tell our stories we also learn about ourselves during the story-telling process. Children are fantastic at this when we let them try it! When we speak, we think, and then we are able to process how we feel. The coolest thing was how he followed my interview lead - I decided to treat it like a professional interview- and boy, did he follow suit! When we put validity into their lives we get so much insight to our relationship to our world and to others.

I am once again reaffirmed as to how incredibly intuitive children are - and articulate- we just have to stop and give them a chance to speak as experts of their own lives. Wonderful!

Encourage your children to tell you their own stories. See a whole new world open up and let it be as it is.

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!

Bon :)

A Vineyard Easter Egg Hunt

2014-04-16T12:37:00.001-04:00

Collin and Robert use beach pails to collect Easter eggs.

So, what do you do when you're on an island and you have an Easter Egg Hunt? You use beach pails, of course!

After a long weekend of grandson extravaganza I asked the boys what their favorite part of the visit was and they unanimously agreed - hunting for Easter eggs! I have to agree. It brought back many memories. Memories of my own childhood and memories of my children searching for eggs and now here I am writing about my grandchildren doing the same thing. A little piece of immortality is in there somewhere. Plus, there is nothing like watching a group of grown men including uncles, friends, and Papa, giddily cheer on a couple of little boys searching and uncovering all their fantastic egg-hiding-spots around the yard! Pure bliss.

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!

Happy Easter!!

Sing a Lullaby

2014-03-26T10:31:00.004-04:00

Dear Parents and Caregivers,

Amidst the rush of work, daycare, and everyday life it can be a challenge to find the time to slow down with our children. Babies, toddlers, and children thrive on the precious moments we spend talking, singing, and reading with them. The difference between a child who is ready to enter school and a child who is not, might very well be found in the amount of vocabulary a child has acquired before school even starts.

The time we spend with our infants, toddlers and pre-schoolers in activities which require conversation and language is time well spent, both for you and your child. Reading books together, which simply can be talking about the illustrations if you have a very young child, is one way to encourage positive growth and development. Singing a lullaby at nap or bedtime and singing fun songs throughout the day is an important way to nurture development of those brand new brains and to emotionally bond with your child, and you'll be helping to develop your little loved one's vocabulary.

Remember, from kindergarten to third grade children are learning to read, and after that, they are reading to learn, so all that early time spent playing, singing, reading, and talking together will help to stimulate their ever-evolving language and allow them to start school better prepared. Before a child even enters school a child builds his or her vocabulary when we talk, sing, and read with

Auntie Jill explains the differences between big and small, and young and old.

them.

Make some noise!

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!

Bon

★ 8 HOURS ★ Lullabies for Babies to Sleep - Music for Babies - Baby Song...

2014-03-26T09:27:00.001-04:00

2013-12-26T11:11:00.001-05:00

Building Family Relationships Through Fun

It's not easy for all family members to get together over the holidays, especially when the family begins to grow. One way to mitigate some of the stress is to build new strategies for coping when emotions run high. You may not always see eye to eye, and that's okay, acceptance and patience can help keep the peace and joy we all strive to live by, after all, when the Christmas ham has been carved and the chocolate ganache consumed, what else do we have left but one another?

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all families! Good luck, good parenting!!
http://www.sanluisobispo.com/2013/12/24/2849270/how-to-deal-with-difficult-family.html

Kids and Money: Start 'Em Young

2013-11-10T08:33:00.002-05:00

Keeping organized with a little help.

If you want your child to appreciate the value of the dollar, maybe it is time to start an allowance. Kids as young as five years old can begin to do this. The reason I'm suggesting it is because this very subject came up in a college freshman class a few days ago. The students were reading their rough drafts for an a persuasive argument paper and in doing so, a discussion was sparked about education and money. The general consensus: The students felt they should be better prepared when it comes to balancing checkbooks, paying bills, and saving. In their estimation, the state of the US economy depended on it!

There are lots of ways to prepare your child so he or she doesn't get to college and feel clueless about money. Start when you child is young. And the experts agree that five years old is not too young. I like Ron Leiber's idea. He's a New York Times financial columnist. He suggests having three jars where a weekly allowance can be distributed in three equal places. One jar for saving, one for spending, and one for giving. This gives a child a sense of value and a chance to play a part in making small financial decisions at an early age, leading to that sense of responsibility and independence we hope they will develop as they grow. In an interview on "September NPR Morning Edition with Steve Inskeep", Lieber explains that his young daughter takes time to consider which charity she'll be donating to, and when she saves up enough money, she is given the freedom to choose how she would like to spend it within reason.

So, it's all good. Take time to talk to your kids about money and start early. If you need more structure and like the idea of technology, you can get online and do the same kind of thing. Check websites such as http://countmybeanz.com, http://www.tykoon.com, and http://www.threejars.com/home to see how kids can start developing an appreciation for the value of the dollar.

Good Luck!! Good Parenting!!

Bon