PARENT PILL

Missing Geoffrey

2011-12-01T12:09:00.000-05:00

I never thought the day would come that I would actually miss standing in line waiting to wrestle down another cantankerous mother for the final Tickle Me Elmo doll. But the day has come. I miss Suzie Cries and Burps. I miss the Great Big Toy Book. I even miss Geoffrey the giraffe.

As frenzied as that scene could get, it was basically one-stop shopping. Fill the cart with toys, get your free plush toy and arrive home just after narrowly escaping death at the jaws of the colossal SUV careening around the corner to get your space. Winning!

And at the end of the day, you felt rewarded for your selfless act of heroism. On Christmas morning, your child would be enchanted by the array of gifts that included moving parts and blinking lights and all those ear-piercing, thunderous sounds that came from nebulous mechanisms that never included a volume control.

But, that is no longer our reality.

I can't even hope that the hot toy of the year will be one of the Black Friday early-bird specials, so I can get up at 3 a.m. to fight the good fight — coffee in one hand, stun gun in the other. Uggs and North Face jackets rarely go on sale. Neither do iPhones or trapeze lessons. There's also a request for a Hollywood agent at my house this year. That should be easy to find.

Where's Geoffrey when I need him? Heck, he probably has a good agent.

Satisfying the perceived crucial, but grossly artificial, needs of tween and teen daughters goes way beyond a keen eye for a good bargain. You need to have a strong stomach, an athlete's endurance and a wallet that would make Warren Buffett blush. And if you are uneasy about shopping in a dark room with loud music and perfume that intermittently blasts at you from secret portals, you might be the lamest parent ever. You probably don't even know that beach vintage is so chill right now.

Here's the silver lining: Fewer toys means that playrooms are becoming obsolete in the homes where these Crombie-consumed kids reside.

Do you see where I'm going with this? This is our golden opportunity to depose the current power and take back the space that is rightfully ours. How much room do you really need to text and Skype your friends on your swanky new iPhone? While their fingers do the talking, I'll be walking to the nearest furniture store to buy my new leather sofa and big screen TV.

But we are not completely heartless. My husband and I have decided that we will allow the kids into our adult playroom on occasion — but only with the appropriate security clearance and password. They also have to vow — in writing — to never watch an episode of "Good Luck Charlie" on the new television. That would just ruin the whole vibe. (Not so chill, if you know what I mean.)

In the meantime, I have plenty of holiday shopping to do, and none of it includes talking dolls or stacking blocks or choo-choo trains with square wheels. You really never appreciate any stage of parenting until you are deeply entrenched in the next painfully agonizing — and much more expensive — chapter.

In the end, the gifts will still be under the tree, the kids will still be thrilled with their new-found trove of treasures and as in years past, we'll be broke and exhausted but secretly elated to watch our kids' faces light up on Christmas morning.

But I really do miss Geoffrey.

Embracing Healthy Living

2011-12-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

After years of resisting, I am finally heeding all of that unsolicited advice my mother has been doling out over the years. I am experiencing a rebirth along the likes of when Jan Brady decided she'd become a brunette and try out a new personality on "The Brady Bunch." Minus the wig.

I am exercising regularly, taking supplements, moisturizing, exfoliating, waxing, flossing, hydrating, stretching, meditating, reflecting, plucking, rinsing, coloring and car Kegel-ing. Some of you ladies will know what I mean by that. And apparently, there's an app for that.

The problem is the time it takes to do this little regimen of activities — or rather how little time is left for doing the things you enjoy, like eating or sleeping or getting a root canal.

I've got to think that a boatload of fish oil pills isn't doing much good if I'm getting three hours of sleep a night after wrapping up that entry in my gratitude journal. Oh, I'm kidding about that part. I don't have time to be thankful; I'm much too busy softening my cuticles and doing my pistol squats.

But I am determined to see if the experts are right about how all of this healthy living will positively impact my life expectancy. By my calculations (interpret as what I've been able to Google in the past 2.5 minutes), here's what I can expect:

According to MensHealth.com, Italian researchers found that eating as little as one cup of raw vegetables daily can add two years to your life. Another study found that those who nibbled nuts five days a week earned an extra 2.9 years.

Australian researchers suggest having a large network of friends can rack up as much as seven additional years. And in a Yale study of older adults, those with a positive outlook on the aging process also tacked on seven years compared to those — like me — who view the aging process as a slow and painful descent from a gorgeous grape to a rotting raisin.

But there's more.

According to an article on health.com, a daily handful of dark chocolate and almonds, some fruits and vegetables, garlic, fish and a glass of wine can increase life expectancy by 4.8 to 6.6 years. (I'm thinking the chocolate and wine will put me closer to the high end of that range). If you engage in moderate to high intensity cardiovascular exercise five days a week, you're looking at another two to four years. And mental exercise, just keeping your noggin active, can yield another two years. If you can do the "Challenger" Sudoku puzzles I think you might live forever.

And you know why your dentist has been nagging you to floss all these years? Turns out there is something about that annoying waxy string that, when used daily, can tack on up to 6 additional years to your life. I have been flossing for three to four hours a day to make up for lost time.

So, if my calculations are correct, and they generally aren't, then I figure I can live to be approximately 118 with just a few minor adjustments to my living habits that include not doing anything that I currently do.

And think of all the perks to living that long: I'll be able to tell you if global warming is fact or myth and if the flying car thing ever comes to be. Well, maybe not you, per se, but I'll be able to tell some other manic flosser.

As I'm writing this, I am preparing to go to the gym. It's Saturday. I'd rather be sleeping or shopping or even cleaning my house. But Jan Brady can't adopt a new personality without a little work behind it. And it hasn't been easy since, like Jan, the reaction I've been getting from my friends and family is not ideal.

And by not ideal, I mean they are laughing, pointing and taking bets on how long this whole experiment will last. My biggest supporter only has five weeks up on the board.

I'm going to prove them all wrong. I'm going to beat the odds and implement some serious, long-lasting change. I'm heading out for a good long workout this very minute — as soon as I finish eating my Pop Tart.

When in Rome

2011-10-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

Not my husband - but you get the idea

So my husband is traveling this week and telling us just how much of a burden this will be for him. He will miss us terribly while he is watching HBO in a quiet hotel room waiting for room service to arrive. It is a cross to bear, but he assures us he will make it through ... somehow.

It pains him to leave us, but his bag is packed two days ahead of time, the itinerary is posted on the bulletin board and I think he called the airlines a half dozen times to be certain there are no delays or cancellations. He is planning on arriving at the airport four or five hours in advance because of all the security — you can't be too careful these days.

He will miss all the dance and gymnastics classes that "we" (and I use the term loosely) need to shuttle the kids to; all my gourmet Hamburger Helper meals; all the lunch-making and homework complaints; all the bickering about the excessive texting and time on Facebook; all the happiness that fills a home in which two middle-school girls reside. Can you say estrogen overload? OK, now say it while having a hot flash and watching "Dance Moms." Fun!

Look, I know traveling can be exhausting, but so can refereeing an argument between your 14- and 12-year-old daughters who are doing a little "smackdown" to see who gets to ride shotgun.

It's hard trying to determine if you should keep counting to 10 or untangle the hair that is now wrapped around the emergency brake handle. Sometimes I could use another judge. But alas, he's busy enjoying all that extra leg room in business class.

So I will trudge through the week, waiting for his calls when he reports that he only has a few minutes to talk because the champagne reception is about to begin. That's brutal. Who wants to go to something like that when you can be home checking your kids' Language Arts journal response? I'm so glad I don't have to travel for work. Way too hard.

Since I don't want him to miss out on all the one-on-one parenting fun, I am planning a girls' weekend away. I don't want to go — I will simply sacrifice myself so that he, too, can soak up the joy that eludes him during these obligatory business trips. I will call him before I have to go to the silly spa to see how things are going. "So sorry, honey, Felipe is here. I really wish I were there to see the music video the girls produced to "Boom Boom Pow," but I have to get this massage over with. Adios, mi amor!"

He'll hang up thinking how awful it must be for me and how guilty he feels for having so much more fun. Then he'll hit himself over the head with a hammer.

For those of you who are thinking I'm being sarcastic or facetious, you must have teenage children and know a little bit about the family dynamic that is so "special" at this time.

It is hard to be away from people who think you don't know anything and that you embarrass them with every spoken word. It is difficult to leave such wise young sages. How did they get so smart at such a young age?

But somehow my husband and I muddle through life, even when they can't be with us to guide the way and help us avoid doing foolish things, like walking beside them. I know what you're thinking: "But how? How?" It's not easy, but sometimes I rely on things I learned before having kids. You know, just some silly stuff that I learned from all those years in college and the 25 years of real world experience that I have. It's not much, according to my kids, but I get by.

So time is running short as my husband is packing some last-minute items for his trip — a good book, his iPod and his workout clothes. I will slip in a picture of the family so he won't forget all the fun he is missing.

Poor guy.

Apples to Oranges: What I Learned From Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T16:00:00.001-04:00

Wow, it's amazing what you learn about someone once they've passed. I knew that Steve Jobs was a visionary, inventor and technology genius. But he had so much more to his story that is so fascinating in the lessons that it teaches. I am mostly struck by some of the twists and turns in his career that ended up serving him so well in the end. The so called "failures" that lead you to take new risks and uncover new opportunities.

It's something that is hard to teach our children I think. How to fail gracefully and learn from our mistakes. How to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and find ways to be stronger and better and even more successful.

Here's an exerpt from his speech to Standord graduates a few years back...

..."I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life..."

(later in the speech and quite eerie I might add)
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart..."

"...Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Good words to live by...Is there an app for that?

Rest in peace Steve Jobs and thanks for all you have contributed to society. Here are 100 more things you didn't know about Apple and Steve Jobs

Self Esteem - What Parent Has Any Left?

2011-08-09T11:30:00.000-04:00

Hi all,

A little tired this morning because I was at the Hampton Beach Casino last night seeing Melissa Etheridge perform - she is amazing! Still rockin it at 50 and plays for almost two and a half hours. No warm-up band, no back-up singers, no fancy choreography or light shows. Just Melissa and her guitar. Incredible.

Anyway, I could use a pick me up today. Feeling like the not-so-subtle signs of aging are creeping up on me and my kids feel compelled these days to comment on all of my physical flaws. My double chin, my scaley legs, my small chest, you name it. Kids have absolutely no concept that one day they too will succumb to these things. Ignorance truly is bliss. I long for that naivity sometimes - that feeling that time moves on but that you will always stay exactly the same.

Here are some of my favorite recent comments that are making me reconsider cosmetic surgery...or boarding school for my kids:

"Oh yuck, my legs are going to have big pores like yours!"

"Do I have a chin like ... (with a tone of disgust)...yours?"

"I like your mushy stomach because it's so comfortable to lie on."

"Mom, let's face it (looking at my chest), you never really sprouted, did you?"

"Sometimes I get those lines on my forehead that you have all the time."

Yeah, that'll make you want to open a vein.

Good thing I have a healthy sense of humor and a stocked liquor cabinet.

More tomorrow...

Sue

What I Did When My Kids Were at Summer Camp

2011-07-28T16:30:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone...So both of our daughters are away at overnight camp this week (one stays for an additional week but let's face it, as soon as someone's home, the party's over!!) Here's just "some" of what we did:

Went into Boston and ate at an expensive restaurant the kids would have hated and stayed overnight in a hotel.
Rented an R-rated movie that we watched at the early hour of 8pm
Went out with my girlfriends to see Bridesmaids
Went to a mall and didn't once step foot in Aeropostale, Abercrombie, Hollister or American Eagle.
Looked into clean bedrooms with beds made - several times.
Didn't say "get off your computer" or "stop texting" even once
Didn't watch Nickelodeon, Disney or TLC's Toddlers & Tiara's
Got a pedicure and had my toes painted bright pink!

So there you go. Did I miss my girls - of course!!

But I have to say it was nice just being a grown
up and taking care of ourselves for a week.

Adult camp rocks.

When did I become the no-talent ass clown?

2011-07-21T23:12:00.001-04:00

My kids used to think I was the coolest, smartest, hippest mom on the planet. Now they sneer at me as if I'm some no-talent ass clown that somehow stumbled into their otherwise perfect lives. They remind me on a daily basis that I do everything wrong, that I know absolutely nothing about life and that I wear my underwear too high because you can sometimes see it peeking out above my super ultra-low rise jeans - the ones that look soooo adorable on me according to the 17-year-old clerk at the Gap who I'm quite certain wouldn't know a pair of Prada shoes if they kicked her in the ass. Sorry, I digress...

I don't seem to know how to text fast enough, walk far enough away from my children in public, sing on key, or that every body is wearing string bikinis and has a Facebook account when they are 13. I am clearly way behind. What's worse is that when my daughters have friends over I sometimes breathe out of synch, say something really embarassing like "anyone want ice cream?" or suggest they go to bed at 3:30am. What a mess I am.

So what do you do all wrong as a parent? Please let me know so that I can enjoy some fine company here on the island of misfit parents. Leave a comment below in the brown box - just hit the red "comment" and join me!!

My daughter doing her rendition of
"I Whip My Hair Back and Forth:
And she think's I'm weird?

Global Warming or a Heat Wave?

2011-07-20T16:00:00.001-04:00

Wow, it's hot as hell out there. Is this the global warming thing they've all been talking about? We are in what meteorologists are calling a "heat dome." Again, love that weather talk - it dopples my radar like old school atmospheric pressure. But that's just me...

Girls went to see the show 'Tarzan' at the Northshore Music Theater today so they're cozy and cool. I was at work, making some dough for those pricey summer camps. Katie & Emma are both off to overnight camp on Sunday. We are foot loose and fancy-free for an entire week. Imagine the things we can do! (Oh, besides that). Hoping we can catch a later movie or concert or something a little out of the ordinary for a mid-week activity. I have to admit that I'm a little out of sorts when the girls are both out of the house. When Tom and I are away, it's different - you're on vacation in some tropical place and you can let all that go. When I'm home, the house seems way to quiet without the constant bickering, texting, fighting, eating, texting, shuttling, texting and day-to-day mayhem.

Off topic, I saw Jenna Fisher (Pam on The Office) on a late night talk show and was thinking about my pretend Hollywood boyfriend John Krasinksi (aka Jim). See us over there to the left? Aren't we cute?? Sorry honey...

Think I may scoot over to Flatbread Pizza and meet my sis-in-law and niece for a quick dinner while they are in town. A cold beer would hit the spot on a night like tonight. Whoa...stay cool everyone. More tomorrow.

There's an Aardvark in our House!

2011-07-18T21:56:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone,

It's about 10pm on Monday night and I'm in bed with the laptop...struggling to stay awake as I type this! Summer is fun but exhausting - the kids have so many things going on that each day brings its challenges with how to juggle it all. Even though we are lucky to have so many options, I sometimes long for the days that we spent our summers on bikes, playing kick the can and building forts. There was really a sense of down time and a rejuvenation period. Now we run at full speed 12 months a year. Wonder if our kids will be better or worse off for it. They certainly use their imaginations a lot less...

Anyway, my mom-in-law comes tomorrow and will stay over and take the girls to see Tarzan at our regional theater on Wed. Both my daughters love to see shows so that will be the highlight of the week. We are also getting ready for overnight camp. My oldest daughter goes for two weeks and my youngest for one (they overlap the first week so we'll be footloose and fancy free!) More on that later...

Oh, we have a new pet - an aardvark Webkinz named Varkalina...she's a good snuggler and cute, sort of. Everyone should own at least one aardvark, right? We have two because one of my daughters think she's an aardvark but that's for another post as well.

Okay, time for some shut eye. Hey is anyone surprised about J.Lo and Marc Anthony or did you see that one coming? Just wondering. Will check in again tomorrow.

Amazing What a Sunny Day Can Do...

2011-07-14T08:50:00.001-04:00

Wow, it's a gorgeous day here in New England...the humidity has passed and it's sunny, dry and going to be in the 80s today. Doesn't get better than that. Waking up to this kind of day really has an impact on how I face the day. I'm definitely a weather gal...I am addicted to my Brookstone weather reader...I live by it (my family makes fun of me but what else is new..) Had I been a better science student, I think I would have been a meteorologist. Anyway... I have the day off tomorrow so I think I'll be taking the girls to a water park with some friends of ours. Me going down the "Double Geronimo" should be interesting since I never passed "Minnows" in swimming class (true story).

Off to work, will check in tomorrow. Have a great Thursday everyone and make sure you check back often. We are currently getting ready to launch our video series - we hope to have our first episode up in a couple weeks. Stay tuned!!

Adults Can Have Fun Too!!

2011-07-11T15:30:00.054-04:00

My girls are spending this week up in Rye, NH at "surf camp." This was a last minute addition to our summer plans but I think they're going to love it. What's not to love? Beach, surfboard, waves...I wanna go to surf camp! Adults don't have half the fun options that kids have - or maybe we just don't have the time. I wanna go make gimp bracelets and eat smores for a week!!

However, I have found a great way to introduce a little more fun into my schedule. I am recruiting some of my friends and neighbors to take a jazz or hip hop dance class with me starting this fall. Why not? We'll get some exercise, have a lot of laughs and go out for drinks afterwards. That's a perfect evening I'd say with the additional bonus of embarassing our children. And if we're really good, maybe we'll be in the end of year recital (okay, probably not).

So it's Monday and my question of the day is...do YOU wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? And if so, what does that feel like? Just wondering....

Tom and I in Mexico having some F-U-N!

Me with my pinapple monkey drink
That's right, more F-U-N!

Peel, plump, pluck (try saying that 3 times fast!)

2011-07-08T07:54:00.000-04:00

Time for mama to have a little "tune-up" (I borrow that word from my friend Jen). When your forty-something and have a tween and a teen, you don't have a whole lot of time to invest in, ahem, maintenance. Well the tide is turning. I, for one, am vowing to take back my body, or at least what's left of it.

Today is my first ever chemical peel. It is supposed to get rid of all those dead skin cells and make me look younger and fresher and beautiful and charming and oops, getting a little carried away but you get the picture. I'll take what I can get. I'm tired of looked tired. That's what nana - my husband's 92 year old grandmother - will say to me. "Dear, you look tired." That's code for you look like sh*t.

So I'll let you know how it goes. Meantime, enjoy your Friday my friends. And don't forget to tell absolutely everyone about Parent Pill. We are adding readers like crazy right now!! Get on the pill people!!

Toddlers & Tiaras = Terrible TV

2011-07-07T19:59:00.000-04:00

Why are my children obsessed with trashy TV like Toddlers & Tiaras?? They are educated kids - what on earth atrracts them to this mess? They DVR the episodes and watch each one with a joi de vivre that is beyond my comprehension. I have tried banning this series but it keeps creeping back into our lives. And they know the whole sad crew by name - Eden, Brooklyn, McKenzie - ugh!! Please make it go away - the spray tans, the fake teeth, the hair pieces!! This show scares me almost as much as the life-size mural of the half-naked boy in Abercrombie. Almost.

So just got back from a lacross game with my 11-year-old. I just love Thursday nights cuz tomorrow is Friday and Friday is my day off....sick. (that's what my 13-year-old says when she likes something),

Well, good night my little minions. I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Hey, could you comment or something so I know you're out there? Look, it's the least you could do for a hard-working blogging kind of gal.

Ta-ta.

What's Reasonable?

2011-07-06T21:52:00.006-04:00

So I'm having a hard time with the Casey Anthony verdict...and as much as I try and understand that it is impossible to have the perspective that these jurors did, it is difficult to imagine that this woman is innocent. My problem lies with the definition of "reasonable doubt." The judge and the judicial system in general make nothing more clear than the idea that if there is reasonable doubt you must acquit. But what about the distinction between any doubt and "reasonable" doubt. Unless you saw the murder with your own eyes and there is blood on the hands of the accused, there can be doubt. What is reasonable? If it looks and feels and smells like a fish, can't we assume that, in all likelihood, it is? Well, apparently not in this country (just ask OJ)...but in the end, this woman has to sleep at night. No real resolution, no child to tuck in, and famous for all the wrong reasons. I guess I will hug my girls and count my blessings today...

On to other things..so my new partner, Tracey, is vacationing on Cape Cod so your introduction will be delayed by a few more days. She has four kids, a dog, a husband, a job and an interesting point of view. You'll love her I promise.

This week is so strange - with the fourth of July holiday I'm having a hard time keeping track of what day it is. Here in New England we are having a mini heat wave so my family just returned from dinner on the beach (we live on the coast) and we made it home just in time to miss a passing thunderstorm.

Okay, time to get the girls tucked in and indulge in a glass of wine. I wish all of you a great evening. Stay tuned for the parent pill video series that will begin in just a couple of weeks. Every Tuesday and Thursday we will be preparing a short video for you - part entertainment, part parenting tips, part general reflection about what's going on in this crazy world of ours. And we want your feedback...just hit "comment" and give us your ideas. We promise to respond to every one...unless we forget. Oh, shut up, would we do that to you???

Sue (and Tracey once she gets her arse off the Cape and decides to get back to work)

Growing up too fast!

2011-07-05T11:55:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure when they changed from little girls
to beautiful young ladies but here we are...

Marvin K Mooney Will You Please Go Now!

2011-07-01T07:52:00.006-04:00

So if you are a parent, you've read this Dr. Seuss book a zillion times. I reference it today because as silly as it is - it's message is relevant to the point I want to make which is to Go, Go, Go! I know so many parents who refuse to leave their children and take a vacation with their husband. They have every excuse imaginable - too expensive, can't leave the pets - but my favorite is when they imply that the kids couldn't possibly get along without them. Guess what, they can and they should. Kids are pretty basic creatures; if they are with trusted friends or relatives who feed them and buy them an occasional ice cream, they are happy. Believe me when I say they need a break from you as much as you need one from them - it's healthy.

And you can make it happen if you make it a priority. It should be as important as the dance company your daughter is in or the hockey league your son is in - those are expensive but we somehow make it work, right? Same here. And once you do it, you'll wonder why you waited so long. It's an investment in your marriage and shows your kids that your partnership is important too. I think we make life a little too much about our kids these days.

So go on line today and book a real vacation - not a quick overnight - a real vacation. I will post some vacation pictures of Tom and I shortly - we went to Mexico last month and had a blast. So...get on your way Marvin K!!

Time to jump into holiday weekend mode...have a great 4th everyone and be looking for the introduction of my partner Tracey, she is smart and hilarious!!

2 Adolescent Children - One Roof

2011-06-30T07:10:00.006-04:00

Happy Thursday everyone. It is a gorgeous day and I'm sad that the beach isn't in the cards for us today as I have to go to work to pay for all of those Hollister shirts my daughters wear. 13 and 11...11 and 13. One still likes you, one thinks you are a nuisance in her world. I remember thinking that somehow I would be spared this phenomenon; I would have the only child on the planet who wouldn't go through that stage. I have to keep reminding myself that this is the natural order of things. It's supposed to happen this way. I remember someone telling me that if you are a good parent, you work yourself out of a job. Kids become independent, move away and establish their own lives. I'll be back home in the nuthouse rocking back and forth and uttering nonsensical gibberish.

Thursday thought for the day: does the Hula Flute count as a sport and do they give college scholarships for that? Leave a comment below to weigh in!

Coming up tomorrow: Why you need to take a vacation without the kids. Or, get over your parenting self!

Summer is good...mostly.

2011-06-29T14:17:00.004-04:00

So I love summer as much as the next guy but it does bring its challenges, especially if you are a working parent. For example, say you host a 50th anniversary party for your parents and it consumes all your time and then it's over and you realize you didn't sign your kids up for any summer camps. Oh crap. That's not good, is it?????

They have only called 27 times today, interrupted two meetings and beeped in on an important call.

Go summer!

Nice for a minute...

2011-01-12T09:46:00.001-05:00

Snow is absolutely gorgeous when you first wake up, then it's sort of pretty later in the day, then after shoveling your porch and the walkway and scraping ice, it's a #@! nuisance! That's the beauty of being a New Englander.

We've got about a foot and it's still coming down here in Newburyport. Kids are off from school, Tom and I are working from home.

Kind of nice until you have to go somewhere.

It's Nate Berkus' Fault

2011-01-10T10:01:00.005-05:00

Why Nate Why?

Every January it's the same. We put away the Christmas decorations, I look around the house - which now looks sparse and uninteresting - and decide I hate everything in it. Hate those curtains, hate that chair, hate that rug. My husband, who knows what's coming, insists that the curtains, chair and rug are beautiful, fabulous, absolutely perfect!

Being a closet home decorating enthusiast, it didn't take much to convince me otherwise, right Nate Berkus? After watching his show while on the treadmill at the gym ( a rare occurrence) I decided that I needed some items to spruce up the house, give it some pop, some interest. So while I had every intention of going grocery shopping when I finished at the gym, I somehow found myself trying out a new red leather chair at a store that didn't sell bread or milk.

A desk, leather chair and pair of silk window panels later, I felt better - and fortunate that I had run into my friend Jen at the store who happens to own a van and happened to help me transport everything home. Coincidence? I think not.

Hmmmmm...

But here lies the problem. It's not over, no it's far from over. As soon as I set up my new desk and chair, hung my new curtains, it spread like a flesh-eating virus. We could sure use a new kitchen table and chairs, or some new accent pieces for our mantle, or a new quilt for our bed...

Damn you Nate Berkus...it's all your fault!!

Sing Anyway

2011-01-06T20:05:00.005-05:00

Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin

I have a friend who is very ill and it is weighing heavy on my mind. These are exactly the times that put life back in perspective for us. It becomes very clear what is important. Then, life takes over again and we get sucked into the minutia.

My hope is to keep perspective as long as I can. Live broadly I say; I think it will be the broad strokes we remember most.

Sue

Somewhere between annoying and OMG!

2011-01-05T08:11:00.002-05:00

‎7 years old, Mom I love you; 10 years old, Mom, whatever; 16 years old, OMG, mom is so annoying; 18 years old, I wanna leave this house; 25 years old, Mom, you were right; 35 years old, I wanna go back to my mom's house; 50 years old, I don't wanna lose my mom; 70 years old, I would give up everything for my mom to be here with me.

In the Weeds

2011-01-03T19:34:00.011-05:00

Hi parent pill fans,

One of my New Year's resolutions is to get serious about keeping this blog up to date and to that end, I will commit to at least 3 new postings a week. Even if some might be a word or two (curse words apply).

I've realized recently that with two daughters in sixth and seventh grade, I'm knee deep in horomones, mood swings, sassiness and overpriced Hollister sweatshirts. Despite having kids that are good students and kind people, they are navigating shark-infested waters which causes them to, at least at times, act as dopey and confused as Nancy Pelosi on crack. (or not on crack, who would know really)

The problem is that as parents, we can't shelter them from this difficult experience. There are just no words to adequately prepare a kid for being called "crapface,or being compared to Princess Fiona when she took her "true form."

We all went through it. And now our kids have the privilege of navigating the rough waters face-to-face, via text, Facebook, Skype and other technologies that I'm sure they'll explain to me some day.

So we are in the weeds - simple as that. There is no way to glorify this awkward period of pubescent clumsiness. It makes no sense whatsoever...didn't when we were young, and it doesn't now.

I guess our job is to try and give them the tools to make good decisions, the courage to stand up for themselves and the wisdom to know when to eat a half gallon of Hagen Daz and call it a day.

So it will be an interesting journey. And it feels almost as awkward going through it on this side, as the parent. How do we protect our kids from the goonies?

I'll be pondering that as I continue to trudge through the weeds...

Adolescence is...Stupid.

2010-10-04T17:03:00.004-04:00

So parenting kids who are 11 and 13 is not a cake walk. In fact, it's really, really hard. I find myself saying things that sound absolutely ridiculous in a futile attempt to provide some sort of guidance and help them avoid heartbreak, embarassment and/or arrest. For example, I recently heard myself saying the following:

"Oh honey, 13-year old boys can act...stupid. If they are mean to you, they usually like you."

That little piece of wisdom comes from my experience being kicked in the shins every day on the school bus from 7th through 12th grade by a boy who "liked" me and who I actually subsequently dated. (The bruises had healed by then).

And then, "No, weed is not the same as smoking cigarettes. It's marijuana - it's really bad and illegal and you can go to jail and it will fry your brain cells and quite possibly ruin your entire life."

That little piece of advice comes from what my friends told me;)

Oh, there is going to be a lot more of this to come....adolescence is stupid.

Back on the Air

2010-09-29T14:24:00.005-04:00

Hi all,
As some of you may know, I've been filling in on the Matty in the Morning show on KISS 108 while their regular female personality is on maternity leave. You can listen to us online HERE from 6am - 10am.

Yes, I'm having a blast because this is my old stomping grounds (I had the job from 1995-2000) but the 4am wake up call is killer! And I'm juggling two jobs because my regular job is as a pr account manager. Yeah, a pretty full plate. But, ya know, there are a lot of people out of work right now so I consider myself to be lucky. And the extra money will be great for my Juvaderm injections...oops did I write that? kidding...for the holidays.

Katie and Emma just got cast in another play - A Christmas Carol - that will be running during December at an area playhouse theater. I am excited for them but the rehearsal schedule will be grueling!

Ah hell, it's all good. The girls are happy, Tom is great and I got a free pair of sneakers today. What more can a gal ask for?

Sue