Parent Traps

Our Hail photos from today!

2009-04-10T16:33:00.002-04:00

We experienced a ton of hail today!

Old Navy Stuffed Animal Recall - USA and Canada

2009-02-20T08:09:00.002-05:00

This recall was announced this morning. I can attest to the problems of stuffed animal eyes. Emily had a beanie baby eye shoved up her nostril when she was about two years old. She came to us saying her nose hurt. When I looked inside all I saw was something black and shiny. To the ER we went! It took a loooooooooooong time for the doctors to extract that little eye using a long forceps while holding down my screaming toddler. How did she find the little eye? The dog had chewed up the toy and she found the eye and for some reason put it in her nose. Never take a toddler's curiosity for granted and look out for toys that can lose plastic tiny parts.

Name of product: Stuffed Animal and Creature Toys

Units: About 35,500 in the United States and 5,400 in Canada

Retailer: Old Navy LLC, of San Francisco, Calif.Hazard: The stuffed toys have two button eyes that could detach from the toy, posing a choking hazard to young children.Incidents/Injuries: None reported.Description: The stuffed animal and creature toys are made out of cotton and have plastic button eyes. They come in a variety of styles, such as a rabbit, penguin and reindeer. The recalled toys and style numbers are listed below:Type of Stuffed Toy and Style Number:Brown Plaid Creature (Stubby Stuberson) 612756Pink Striped Dove 600571Grey Dog 600572Hot Pink Creature (Lucy Toothy) 612800White Dog (Dr. Poopsie) 612738Brown Penguin 612672Light Pink Rabbit 612671Brown Reindeer 612728Dark Pink Rabbit (Honey O'Bunny) 612806The style number is located on a white label sewn into the side seam of the toy.

Sold at: Old Navy stores and on the Web at www.oldnavy.com from July 2008 through February 2009 for between $6 and $10.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should immediately take the recalled stuffed toy away from young children and return it to any Old Navy store for a full refund. If purchased online, contact Old Navy for instructions on returning the toy for a full refund. Consumers who return the toy before July 1, 2009 will also receive a $5 coupon toward a future Old Navy purchase.Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Old Navy toll-free at (866) 580-9930 between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, or between 12 p.m. and 7 p.m. ET on Saturday, visit the firm's Web site at www.oldnavy.com, or e-mail the firm at custserv@oldnavy.comNote: Health Canada's press release can be seen at http://209.217.71.106/PR/recall-retrait-e.jsp?re_id=666

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled products, please go to:http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml09/09134.html

Recall - Evenflo Activity Centers

2009-02-18T08:50:00.002-05:00

I have decided to go back to posting child-related recall information on this blog. A lot of people have told me that they read it here and it helped them. So starting today forward, you can keep up with child-related recalls at this site. You can find prior recalls for all products at CPSC's Web site at www.cpsc.gov.

Product Recalled: Evenflo Activity Centers

Units: About 213,000

Manufacturer: Evenflo Co. Inc., of Miamisburg, Ohio

Hazard: When used as an activity table, the cap on one end of the product can loosen and fall off, posing a fall hazard to a young child.

Incidents/Injuries: Evenflo has received 11 reports of dislodged end caps which resulted in nine minor injuries, including bumps and bruises. Evenflo has also received a report of a dislodged end cap that resulted in a child suffering a broken collarbone in Canada.

Description: The recall involves Evenflo ExerSaucer Triple Fun stationary activity centers made between October 2006 and December 2008. The model number is 6231711. Stage 3 position involves converting the product into an activity table. No other ExerSaucer models use end caps and, therefore, no other models are included in this recall.

Sold at: Juvenile product and mass merchandise stores nationwide, including Toys 'R Us and Burlington Baby Depot, from October 2006 through February 2009 for about $120.

Manufactured in: United States

Remedy: : Consumers should immediately stop using the activity table in Stage 3 and contact Evenflo to receive a free replacement end cap. The product may continue to be used in Stages 1 and 2 without changes.Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Evenflo at (800) 233-5921 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday or visit the firm's Web site at www.exersaucertriplefun.comTo see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recall product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml09/09131.html

Parent Trap Post of the Day

2009-02-12T09:05:00.005-05:00

I think we should view our children through the eyes of today .... meaning that we really need to try to get from underneath the lens from which we view the world, usually our own childhood. We are always trying to edit kids, telling them how to do things and trying to tell them how much better our world was "back in the day". Well, this is their day!

Technology has changed, communications has changed, school has changed, clothing has changed, need I go on? But the basic needs of people have not changed at all. We all need love, acceptance, praise and security. How can you do a better job of providing these things in this newer, more modern world? Can you learn about Ipods or visit the Apple store with your kid? Can you read a new story with them? When was the last time you spoke highly of them to someone else? Let's not let their "back in the day" become a homage to our old times - create new times with your child. What do you think about this - how do you do it?

I'm back!

2008-11-17T10:47:00.006-05:00

Hi, Thanks to all the new and old readers who keep coming back to read my formerly well-updated blog! I took a bit of a break and now I'm back. I had to update the Thanksgiving Chocolate pie recipe for a reader and now I'm going to write more. Aren't you happy?! We have really been enjoying Fall here in northern Alabama. We've never really ever lived through a real Fall. Well, I haven't nor have the kids. Tim lived in New Hampshire for a year so I guess he did. Anyway, I've posted a few photos here of our street and how it looked last week. Today, the leaves are mostly falling and it's starting to look like Winter.

Why Is This So Hard?

2008-10-13T11:14:00.003-04:00

Annie isn't happy with school. She is complaining about being bored in class daily. She was telling me how much happier she was in a full-time gifted classroom, which is not offered here in Alabama public school. We can't afford private school, as we can barely afford to live.

I am enlisting the help of her gifted teacher to try to see what we can do to improve the situation. She tested with Belin-Blank on the EXPLORE ACT test last January, as was working at two to five years ahead of 4th grade in every subject. Being stuck in regular 4th grade must be mind-numbing to her. She needs more than what the school seems to be able to provide. I am frustrated.

Talk Like A Pirate Day- Ye Scalliwags!

2008-09-18T14:12:00.003-04:00

Avast! It be talk like a pirate day today, if ye had not heerd. Grab yer sailor or yer lass and revel in all that is pirate! Yer supposed to let out yer inner pirate, what'er that means. Aye, I shall hoist my grog high and drain it to celebrate this vile day! I shall view the reviled pirate king, Johnny Depp, in his arrgggg, dvd videos thru the nite in adulation! Hear ye - raise up yer scabbard, get yer little rugrats to help ye and pass the word to Talk Like A Pirate today!

Haikus by My Daughter

2008-09-18T14:12:00.002-04:00

Haikus (done in class for her own amusement) by Annie, Age 9. I think you'll see recurring themes here. Too bad it is not graded :) p.s. Orpheus and Elmo are both hamsters.

Orpheus is cool
He is a cool black hampster
Elmo is now dead

Lunch is real awesome!
I love lunch it is tasty!
It is almost time.

The bathroom stinks bad
The toilet is real dirty
It is real stinky!

God, I am tired!
I want to go to sleep now!
I am real sleepy!

The baby went Poop
He just pooped in his diaper
It is real stinky!

My class is crazy
We are extra superreally loud!
Save me from this place!!!

Math totally stinks!
So does reading and English.
Get me out of here.

Remembering 9/11

2008-09-11T10:36:00.003-04:00

The memories are always fresh and I'll always have the memories of the last part of my pregnancy with Emily clouded by the horrors of 9/11. Please take the time to remember everyone who died that day, especially the innocent children on those planes.

My Daughter is Raising Money to Go To Space Camp!

2008-09-09T10:13:00.003-04:00

My oldest daughter, Annie, is set on going to Space Camp this summer. She's a bright, motivated girl with interests in science, computer science and engineering for her future. We are fortunate to live right around the corner from Space Camp. We are not fortunate, in that because of our financial situation, we can't afford to send her there for that great opportunity.

Years of layoffs and the resulting excess debt still plague our family and we are digging out now that Tim is fully employed again. I am doing my best to manage being "mom" and working from home so I have time to take care of the needs of the the children. I have tried to get full-time work, but no one is calling me back, despite my years of human resources experience and banking experience. So here we are....

Annie is trying to raise money herself and increase her knowledge of space and general science by creating a blog called Send Me To Space Camp. We told her that she has a chance to work hard, learn more and create awareness about herself and her goals through this blog. It also gives readers a chance to support her and her goals by soliciting sponsorship and/or donations to help her fulfill her goal. Kind of like a virtual lemonade stand.

Take a look and give her feedback. She'll be adding new content weekly, so add her to your favorites list. Thanks for supporting the future scientist!

It's A Good Thing I Was The Lucky Egg!

2008-09-03T12:03:00.003-04:00

I was commenting to Tim in front of Emily how nice it was to have such a cheerful, happy, child skipping around the house and that she is such a nice child. She turned to him and said, "it's a good thing I was the lucky egg!"

She knows that she was the last "egg" to come down the pike before I had my hysterectomy. Too funny! (note: Photo is a collage of the lucky eggs in our family by Annie)

The Bathroom Door is Closed

2008-08-29T09:51:00.002-04:00

This is really funny. I found this sign you can print out and put on your bathroom door to keep the children at bay when you do your business. Check it out, Mom!

Your Baby's First Words

2008-08-27T13:25:00.007-04:00

One of the joys of parenthood is certainly hearing the first moment in your young one's life when they finally utter the word "mama" or some variant of Mom. But we often don't get what we wish for. I was recently following a discussion on one of the Gifted and Talented boards about baby's first words. They had some oddities - like "cheese", "dump truck", etc.

It took me back to nearly nine years ago when our eldest started to finally talk. She was about ten months old and finally started to utter things that sounded like actual words. I recall "kee" for kitty and "Buddy, no" being nearly first. "Buddy - No" was actually said more than any other phrase around our house at that time. Buddy is our dog and he was admonished quite often around the baby. I also recall us on a stroller walk and got "tree" in response to the beautiful surroundings. The single words didn't last long and they quickly progressed to the current, "get me some more now!"

We had also used Baby Sign Language early to encourage language development. I think at around 7 months we started getting signed responses "more" "eat" and "milk". We never moved on to "I gotta poop" because she started talking after that. This article just came out that says there's really a science behind what your children say first.

I am curious what other first words have been uttered by your progeny? Please share here!

Crocs Shoes are Dangerous - Don't Lose a Foot!

2008-08-26T08:07:00.003-04:00

Croc shoes or similarly styled shoes are a proven hazard on escalators, as the kids who accidents on them can attest. Some children have lost toes or mangled their feet while wearing Crocs and getting their feet stuck in the escalator stairs. They are also very ugly. Since when did we and our children all decide we needed to look like longshoremen or hairdressers everyday? What happened to cute shoes? You might consider looking at similar shoes that work better overall.
Take extra care if you are in a location with an escalator and maybe take the elevator or the stairs if you or your child wears Crocs around the mall. And just be careful around escalators in general - it's easy to fall down them like I did as a kid.

Grandma's Chocolate Pie Recipe

2008-08-24T20:00:00.005-04:00

I am updating today to fix a step where the butter goes in!

I am highlighting my family's Chocolate Pie recipe in honor of grandparent's day. I have added photos and more details to help you make this the way we do in our family. Please feel free to email your comments, suggestions, and photos to me and I will share them with our readers.

This chocolate pie recipe has been handed down on my father's side for at least 4 generations. His family is from eastern North Carolina, so all the food that comes from there is very yummy, very Southern, and not very diet. Keep this in mind as you prepare. (Also, keep in mind that you really have to stir the pudding while on the stove for a longgggg time before it starts to gel). We serve it in our family every Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is not a holiday without this pie.

The recipe uses a hand mixer to do the "mixing" part.

I call it Maw Maw's Chocolate Pie (we called our grandma - "Maw-Maw" ). So here's Grandma Maw Maw's pie recipe:

Makes 2 Pies

Preheat oven to 400 degrees to prebake the pie shells, drop to 350 degrees to cook the pie meringue.

4 small packages of Jello Brand Pudding & pie filling - chocolate
2 Pet Ritz Bake and Fill Pie Shells (regular size) or any other bake and fill regular pie shells
2 Tablespoons Real Cocoa - unsweetened
2Tablespoons Sugar
2 Cans of Carnation Evaporated Milk
4 Large or Jumbo Egg Yolks. Separate carefully and reserve the whites for meringue (may want extra egg whites to make taller meringue) Eggs should be at room temperature.
1Tablespoon Real Vanilla
1Tablespoon Butter
Pinch of Table Salt

Prick the unbaked pie shells all over with a fork. Pre-bake the pie shells until light brown. Set aside on a cookie sheet.

Beat egg yolks for a minute with mixer.

Add the balance of ingredients, except butter, and mix with mixer until well blended.

Pour into a large saucepan, add the butter, and then stir by hand constantly over medium heat, approximately ten minutes until it starts to boil.

Reduce heat to low and continue to stir, it will be slightly lumpy when you take it off the burner.

Remove from heat, continue to beat it by hand to smooth it out, then immediately pour into the pre-baked crusts, dividing evenly.

Set pies aside. Set your oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare meringue by beating egg whites until peaks start to form, adding ¼ cup sugar a little at a time as you are beating at high speed(4 to 5 egg whites) using mixer.

Feel free to double the amount of meringue if you want it to be thick on top of the pie. Divide your meringue mixture to top the two pies and cover the filling completely.

Set the pies on a cookie sheet. Place in the oven and bake at 350 degrees until the meringue is browned.

May be served warm or chilled. I think it is much better chilled. ;)

Can I Sign Up to Be a Pop Star, Mommy?

2008-08-22T10:55:00.000-04:00

I guess there is a little too much of a good thing. Too much American Idol. Too much Hannah Montana. Too much Disney Channel. Emily came up to me last night and nonchalantly asked, "can you fill out the papers to sign me up to be a pop star?" I had to explain that it doesn't work that way. You have to practice music, singing, blah, blah, blah. That didn't phase her. Then she asked, "can I hire a band tomorrow?" Yeh, just go check that empty piggy bank.

Do We REALLY Need to Teach Teens How to Beg?

2008-08-18T18:12:00.003-04:00

I was actually quite incensed to read this article from the St. Pete Times that gives a Top Ten List for How to Get What You Want From Mom and Dad. Really....did you never see Leave It to Beaver? Eddie was a master at this kind of ploy.

Buried underneath this how to article though is a list of appropriate manners for teens. Maybe I'll cut it out and save for about five years from now when they become ingrates.

Elvis the Hip Hop Legend

2008-08-17T11:30:00.005-04:00

We were discussing music with the youngest child yesterday. Ironically, it was the anniversary of Elvis's death. Somehow, Elvis came up. I asked Emily if she knew who Elvis was. She replied immediately, "he's a big hip-hop star". Too funny. I had to remind her of his prevalence in the Lilo and Stitch movies and she remembered.

Then it was all about how he died. "He died of a drug overdose". "I know people who do drugs." "Who is that?" "These people who are smoking cigarettes, they're doing drugs." "Yes, they are. And don't do drugs, ever."

"Why do people have to die? Why can't we live forever?"

Questions.

The Best Shoes For Standing Up All Day

2008-08-14T08:00:00.004-04:00

Comfortable Shoes at a comfortable price. Free shipping on orders over $75.00. You can't beat that for some of the best types of shoes that I've found for your feet if you have to work on your feet all day. Check out my favorites listed under Dansko. They are very well-made and have great support. The comfort sole supports the foot forward when walking. They really protect your feet, legs, and back during long hours of standing or walking. I substitute teach and have to have the best shoes or I am just crippled after only half a day. I usually have back problems and these shoes make all the difference in the world. I have a pair that I've worn for nearly three years! I would recommend them to anyone who stands all day - chefs, hairdressers, teachers and more!

Back To School and More Activities

2008-08-13T21:54:00.004-04:00

It's been a week since school started here and it seems like we're off to a great start. Both children like their teachers. Annie was quickly accepted into the gifted and talented program based on her prior program. She said they picked programs to work on and she will do computing/web design/newspaper, which is right up her alley.

The school food is one zillion times better than the last school in Florida. Tim's aunt and I went to lunch earlier this week at the school and it was decent to eat! The food tasted good, wasn't all frozen and they had fresh veggie choices! Wake up, Florida, make some changes! Even the milk was cold! A first for me with school milk, ever.

Buddy the dog and I have spent a lot of time together sans family. We are bonding. I have gotten the house back in order after two rounds of visitors and finally got the SUV registered in this state. Lots of errands to get done. I have some work at home to do tomorrow.

The kids are about to be as loaded in weekly activities as they were last year. Annie will have basketball later in the fall, Junior Girl Scouts, CCD and either art or dance. Emily has soccer, Brownie scouts, and CCD. I think we may skip on dance until next year, so we can see how soccer and basketball go here.

Back to School Today!

2008-08-06T14:37:00.004-04:00

The kids seemed happy as they headed out to their new school today. The school had open house last night to meet the teachers and to tour the school.

I'll give Alabama this, they have beautiful schools! They have spent some money making the environment look inviting and it appears that they go for buildings to last - all brick with style. The kids loved the library, which was very large, open and inviting. The librarian was a very sweet woman who struck me as someone that they'll really enjoy being around.

Emily's teacher seemed experienced and welcoming and I planted the seed about Emily's reading level being so high. Annie's teacher made her day by saying that they'll give no homework, outside of practicing math facts. Annie hates homework. I guess they plan to do it all in school and given that the school day here is 1.5 hours longer than the school day in Florida, I guess they do have time. Annie does more learning and projects at her computer most days than they'll ever learn in school anyway.

Emily was very quiet in her new classroom, but I know she'll warm up quickly. A little girl was going around saying, "will you be my friend?" to everyone. Emily looked surprised when she came to her and quickly said "okay". I introduced her to a more shy girl in her row, named Abigail. She was a cute little redhead. Emily loved her right away.

They both seem interested in riding the bus so we may try it tomorrow. At least it's air conditioned here!

Jumpstart Your Kids to Get Ready For School

2008-07-30T22:17:00.000-04:00

For our family, it's time to go back to school next week. The kids are rusty with school skills after a summer of moving to a new home, swimming, playing and really, too much television. I know I should be more parental and limit it more, but we've gotten so busy just trying to set up house that we forget to pull them from their veggie patches on the couch (they are vegetating - get it!)

The kids do enjoy their computers though, as much as they enjoy T.V. We're getting out the cache of educational software to break them back into the school mode. Knowledge Adventure's Jumpstart Spanish has been a family favorite of my girls since preschool. It still entertains them with the great songs and games. Their Spanish has improved steadily over time. Annie is going into fourth grade next week and needs more advanced language study and we're ready to move up to another one of their programs called Say It in Spanish. It's good for learning Spanish up to high school level and, as of today, it's on sale for $9.99 with free shipping, so I'm getting it right now.

If you've already been a reader of my blog, you'll know that I have two very gifted children. The regular curriculum in school doesn't begin to satisfy their needs. I'm always looking for ways to supplement their education. Luckily, they are very self-motivated learners. I've been very pleased with the products I have used from Knowledge Adventure and I highly recommend them for anyone, but especially for parents who want to enrich their children's curriculum beyond the basics. When you've got a first grader doing third grade work and a fourth grader doing high school work and you don't home school, you've got to do something in between. Using their educational software really has helped us a lot to meet our goals with the girls.

Invasion

2008-07-14T10:55:00.006-04:00

Last night we had an invasion of the aliens. Let me explain. Two days ago we had a really strong storm. It looked like a tropical storm hitting the house. We actually had tree limbs fall that were the size of actual trees. Scary.

The invaders came after that. When I was taking the dog out and looked down, there were millions of either a) termites or b) flying ants emerging from the ground and from under the patio of our rental home. Since the termite inspector had just been here last week, I have called them this morning and hopefully, they'll be back to see just what is emerging in droves from underground. They were varying sizes and some had wings and some didn't. It almost seemed like a pep rally for the insect nation with millions cheering the little fliers on.

Just as long as they are not in the house! But it also doesn't make it too fun to go out to catch fireflies. See a video of them here (the weird sound is just the video malfunctioning - it makes it sound like an alien invasion for real):

Oh, did I mention we have now officially relocated to Alabama? Yes, we are learning the ways of the land and the people.

The Land of a Million Flavors & Grapico

2008-07-10T20:37:00.005-04:00

Well, we've entered the land of a million flavors - of soda! Alabamians love their fizzy drinks! I have been perusing the aisles of the grocery stores and have found that old soda pops didn't die out - they stayed alive and well in the old south.

I have been enjoying something called Diet Grapico this week - found at Walmart here and made in Birmingham. It's a very decent grape soda, something I really like and can never find in Florida. There was also Sundrop (similar to Mountain Dew) and the icky sounding Peach Nehi (where's the grape, people). There were at least four versions of fruit punch soda sold in cans. I always liked Tahitian Treat when I was a kid. Oh, and some weird version of Dr. Pepper, I think called Dr. Wham. I'll have to try that one next time - perhaps Diet Dr. Wham (does George Michael drink this?)

My paternal grandparents ran an old fashioned country store in rural North Carolina when I was growing up, so these soda flavors bring back memories of drinking a lot of them there. I haven't seen them since - until now.

Well, due to sugar issues, I can't indulge like I used to when I was small and thankfully, the children don't like soda (they've always said fizzy drinks were "spicy" since they were babies). But happily, the oddly-named Diet Grapico is on my shopping list now. The photo is an old advertisement for Grapico I found when searching for more info about it. It's one of those old, old brands of the south.

Funny Things Kids Say

2008-06-15T07:38:00.004-04:00

This a compilation of a lot of funny quotes from kids - from many sources. Enjoy it and Happy Father's Day!

Quick Quotations:

"I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave
"I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old
"TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dynamite."
"I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.
"I had to read and write six book reports." -- Girl, in an email to her friend, attempting to explain what she had to do over the summer. She later tried sending a correction, which read, "I had to read and write six books."
"Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean
"Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.
"Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive
"I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.
"There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.
"Quiet!" -- 4 year old, when asked what begins with 'M' and sounds good.
"If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon.
"Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.
"Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens.
"How will that help?" -- Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom.
"They didn't see it -- it was all cut off!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother was asked how his grandparents liked his new haircut.
"Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" -- 7 year old son, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.
"I had a fraction in my neck and had to go to the hospital for a long time." -- Fifth grader, to his class.
"Well you're old, and you're not dead." -- "3 year old son, to his father. The comment followed an explanation of why the father's grandparents weren't around anymore.
"Are you kidding me?! They go together like balogna and cheese! No, wait. More like mayonnaise and bread." -- 9 year old girl, when asked if her brother and cousin hang out a lot.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." -- A young son, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers.
"Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." -- 3 year old son, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet.
"Mommy, you said it would be a shot; instead it was a needle!" -- Boy, overheard at the hospital.
"How do you put make up on your mind?" -- Girl, when told she should make up her mind.
"I wish someone we knew would die so we could leave them flowers." -- 6 year old girl, upon seeing flowers in a cemetery.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer.
"Watch out, Daddy. Mommy's got her eye on you!" -- 4 year old girl, after hearing her mother telling her father that she'd take an I.O.U. for a promised restaurant dinner.
"I didn't look much -- I've only got little eyes!" -- 7 year old, about to be scolded for peeking at her Christmas presents.
"When you were my age, you was just a baby!" -- 5 year old.
"Why don't they just do what they did in 1899?" -- On preparing for Y2K in 1999.
"Daddy doesn't like that man, does he?" -- Daughter of John Cleese and Connie Booth, during the filming of the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
I Feel So Old:
"This is the biggest CD I've ever seen!" -- On first seeing a record.
"You know those big CDs?" -- High school student describing a record.
What We Learned From the Ice Storm of 1998:
"Never take your little sister to a shelter." -- 12 year old
"Trees aren't as strong as I thought they were." -- 11 year old
"Not to kid around saying timber around people." -- 12 year old
"Don't live in Maine." -- 13 year old
"I learned that if you plug your generator into your TV, VCR, or your computer, it will cause too much friction and it will blow up." -- 10 year old
"I didn't miss school at all. What are you talking about?" -- 15 year old
The other day my five year old grandson was lounging on my lap.
Him: "Poppop, you have hair in your nose."
Me: "Everybody has hair in their nose."
Him: "But you have a lot of hair in your nose."
Me: "Well, it's not growing on top of my head very well. I have to grow it somewhere."
Him: (thoughtful pause) "Do you want me to pull some of it out for you?"
I declined the offer.
In a preschool class I used to teach, we had two little girls who played every day that they were characters from classic Disney cartoons. One day I heard one calling the other "Allison." I didn't know a single Disney character named Allison, so I asked the little girl who she was today. She replied, "Allison Wonderland."
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
Conversation overheard at a zoo in Tasmania, where a young kid was looking at a wombat:
Kid: "Look Dad, dog!"
Dad: "No, not a dog. Remember, we talked about what this is?"
Kid: (thinks) "Dog!"
Dad: "Noooo. It starts with a 'w'."
Kid: "W......w......w......wdog!"
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
A high school teacher asked when surfing was popular in the USA. A cheerleader in the class said, "The 60s." The teacher asked her to be more specific, and she said, confidently, "The 1960s."
I just had an interesting conversation with my sister. She was talking about the "carcass" of a printer.
Me: "You mean 'cartridge'? 'Carcass' is a dead body."
Her: "Oh, yeah, cartridge! But a dead body is a 'cork'."
Me: "'Cork'? You mean 'corpse'?"
Her: "Uh, yeah."
I had a party a few weeks ago, and a really good friend of the family had brought some cousins, about 7 and 5 years old. The older one looked up at a guest and said:
Older Kid: "I bet you're 40."
Younger Kid: "No, he's 80!"
Older Kid: "85!"
Younger Kid: "No, he's 100!"
Older Kid: "He's not 100, that's when you die."
When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone. "Hello," he said, panting a little. I said, "Hi, Nick. Wow, you sound out of breath." He replied, "No, I have more."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
When we were trick or treating in my neighborhood, my three year old cousin came along. When we walked down the side of the street, and whenever he saw a stop sign, he made us all stop in front of it, look both ways, then continue on.
In my Sunday School class, we discussed what we would give up for Lent. One eight year old girl said she'd give up homework. I replied that the idea was to give up something she liked. She said, "But I like homework!" A seven year old boy, in the same class, said he'd give up fighting with his brother. I asked if he could give it up for so long. He said, "Well, it's only until next week, so that's ok."
I told my boys, aged 9 and 6, that I wanted to stop and get some hair coloring. My 6 year old asked what color I was getting and why. I told him that it was just to cover my gray and left it at that. They were like kids in a candy store, searching for the "perfect" color. We agreed on one, bought it, and left. That weekend, at church, a lady said she really liked the color of my hair. My 9 year old beamed and said, "Thanks, I picked it out!"
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roar. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and was almost crying by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."