The economy is one of, if not the number one, concern of people across our nation. Unemployment figures are staggering and downright scary, college students are graduating without jobs to go to and student loans to repay, the cost of everything from gas to gum is higher than it has ever been (and in many cases still rising), and millions of Americans have lost their homes in foreclosure do a number of reasons

The effect these things have had on our lifestyles is undeniable and cannot be hidden from our children. This was never more obvious to me than when I sat down in our high school cafeteria to fill out the familiar forms for my youngest daughter’s senior year in high school. At that point in time, I had had a child in our little community’s school system for 23 years (I know, pretty amazing, right and for the first time there was actually a box to check if your student was homeless. This really got to me. Sure, there were homeless people in the city, but in our little town of less than 15,000 there was no reason to be homeless. Or was there? As it turns out, over 50 of the high school’s nearly 1,000 students admitted to being homeless. Another 30 gave the local women and children’s shelter as their address. That was nearly 10 %!

These sad and alarming statistics got me to thinking…how would I tell my teenage daughter (and her grown siblings, for that matter) that we were losing our home or that her father was unemployed – that there would be no money coming in?

How to break the news
If you are among the thousands of people who have recently lost their jobs or whose unemployment will be running out and no job is in sight, your teens need to be told of changes that have to be made. This can be done without putting an actual dollars and cents figure in their heads, but they deserve to know how and why the changes will affect them. But when you do tell them:

• Be honest; the plant is closing, the office no longer has the client base to justify operations, there has been a buy-out and the new owners are bringing in their own staff…
• Don’t be bitter; this isn’t what we want, but nothing comes from being bitter or placing blame.
• Be optimistic without making promises you cannot keep; it may take a while to find another job and we may even have to relocate to do so, but no matter what, as your parents we will do whatever is necessary to make this as disruptive to your life as possible.
• Ask that the family be united in the efforts to go through the necessary changes; it’s not going to be easy, but if we all work together to make little changes, we can hopefully get through this without having to make major changes.

Answers to their questions
Teens are naturally curious about how their families’ financial situations may affect their lives. This shouldn’t come as any big surprise. But answering these questions sometimes leaves parents scratching their heads. Hopefully this will help…

Q. How much money do you make?
A. We make enough to pay our expenses and to be able to pay for food, clothing and a few fun things each month. We have enough coming in to pay for your sports fees and put some in savings each month.
OR
A. Because I’ve lost my job, things are pretty tight. We’re going to be able to meet our necessary expenses, but we’re all going to have to cut back. This means we’re going to have to ask you to…

Q. Will I be able to go to college?
A. Yes, you will be able to go to college. You may need to have a few more student loans than we originally thought, but working together, we’ll make it happen. There are also several scholarships available we can apply for.

Q. Why do we have to move?
A. It’s not what we want to do, but the house payment is simply too much for us with the drop in income. Let’s try and make the best of things and remember that a house doesn’t make a home – family does.

How your teen can benefit
They say there’s a silver lining in every cloud. Let’s look at what that lining can be in this situation…

• Your teen will learn the value of relationships over material possessions
• Your teen will learn valuable lessons in money management and budgeting
• Your teen will learn to be sacrificial and selfless
• Your teen will learn that love is give and take
• Your teen will learn to be responsible and to contribute to the well being of the family

Final comments
Money isn’t an easy subject to talk about. It’s the number one cause of arguments in a marriage. But in today’s economic situation, money matters are unavoidable. So instead of hiding them or pretending they don’t exist, give your teen credit for being mature and responsible and make her part of the solution in reasonable fashion rather than robbing her of learning some valuable lessons that she can take with her into her own household some day.

The Stockings Were Hung by the Chimney with Care… And All That Other Stuff – Darla Noble

Christmas is quickly approaching – it’s only days away. Most of the shopping is already done, the tree is up and decorated and you’ve probably already indulged in at least a piece or two (or three or four) of Christmas fudge. Aahhh, Christmas. It’s that time of year when most everyone’s heart is in the right place and the spirit of good will toward men is the message of the day.

So why not seize the opportunity to make this time a special one between you and your teens? Take this time to call upon their feelings of good will toward men; use it to ease or even erase tension between them and you and to remind them of what a special gift they are to your family.

Traditions
The word ‘tradition’ means to a belief or custom to hand down or pass on along to the next generation. That would be you passing on a custom or belief to them. The ‘you’ and ‘them’ denotes interaction and communication.

Don’t let those raised eyebrows, snickers, or eye-rolls fool you. Teenagers love traditions…as long as they can see a meaning or significance in them. Granted it doesn’t have to be a deep and philosophical meaning, but it does have to be relevant.

Okay, so maybe they’ve outgrown the trips to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap. Use their teen years as a catalyst to start new traditions or include them in new ways in older, established ones.

Something new
New traditions you can start with your teens include

• Volunteering as a family to serve meals to the homeless after you’ve had your family time together on Christmas morning
• Making or purchasing small gifts to give to residents of a nursing home
• Sending packages to soldiers overseas
• Visiting a veterans hospital and sharing cookies with them while they tell their stories to young people who need to hear them
• Having a Christmas Day family Olympics or board game marathon
• Taking a family vacation over Christmas break and making that their gift

Including them in older traditions
Including your teens in older traditions in a NEW (and more grown-up) fashion is a great way to let them know that you recognize who they are becoming as young adults and that you trust them to carry on the family traditions you hold dear. You can do this by putting them in charge of getting the tree and giving them free reign of decorating it, asking their help in wrapping gifts (not theirs), addressing Christmas cards, selecting a family photo for your card, doing the holiday baking, planning a family outing over the holidays or taking over such things as reading the Christmas story to the family, carving the ham or turkey or asking the blessing at the table.

Bring it home
Another way to make Christmas traditions special to your teens is to give them the history of established traditions. Why is that crumpled little paper angel the only one that can sit atop the tree? What’s so special about that plate the rolls are served on at dinner? Whose idea was it to give everyone a piece of black walnut and peanut butter fudge? What’s so special about the Christmas necklace you wear each year – the one that has a picture in it? Knowing the story behind what’s expected of them makes carrying on any tradition more satisfying and meaningful.

So… deck those halls, hang that holly and bring on that Christmas cheer.

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It’s that time of year. This year, we tell ourselves, will be the year we lose 20 pounds, quit smoking, or give up or at least cut back on caffeine, and this will be the year when we take back control of our families. You tell yourself resolutely that 2013 will be the year that the fighting, petty arguments and sullen attitudes stop. Look at you go! – Darla Noble

Don’t lose that momentum
Make 2013 the year when you truly do live up to those commitments… well, at least a few of them… especially the one about taking back your family.

HOW TO MAKE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION RESOLUTE
THE WORD ‘RESOLUTE’ MEANS TO BE FIRM AND DETERMINED TO STAY THE COURSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, RIGHT? SO LET’S WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN

1. Write your resolution down and post it throughout the house. Print it out on pretty paper or on a pretty note card and tape it to your bathroom mirror. Put it on your refrigerator along with everything else – just make sure you can see it. Write it on the inside of a pretty greeting card and set it on your desk at work. Frame it and set it by the kitchen sink where you’ll see it as you prepare meals and do dishes.
2. Make your resolution known to members of your household. If you are determined to take back your family and enhance your relationship with your teenager, let them know. Tell them you are committed to being a better parent (this tells them you are taking partial responsibility for any problems that exist between you) and that the changes you make are for the benefit of everyone involved. Ask for their cooperation.
3. Remind your family from time to time of your resolution and give progress reports. Mailing or emailing cards or messages to family members expressing thanks, concern or simply reminding them of your love and commitment to the family on a regular basis is effective and appreciated by all.
4. Don’t look at lapses as defeat. Every resolution has its setbacks. Don’t stress over it – just pick up and go on. It’s important to hold yourself and others accountable for relapses, but then put the past in the past and go forward. Remember… you need to focus on where you’re going – not where you’ve been.

WHAT RESOLUTIONS SHOULD I MAKE
RESOLVING TO TAKE MAKE THINGS BETTER BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR TEENAGER IS A PRETTY GENERIC STATEMENT. IT LEAVES THE DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR FAILURE AND NEGLECT. INSTEAD, BE SPECIFIC… VERY SPECIFIC

1. We will set up a system of chores for each family member to be responsible for. This will give everyone more time to enjoy activities and will give each family member the opportunity to contribute to making our home run smoothly.
2. We will establish a family contract to be mutually agreed upon by all.
3. We will treat each other with respect and kindness at all times.
4. We will express our love and appreciation for each other on a daily basis.
5. Each family member will be expected to do a random act of kindness for another member of the family each week.
6. We will recognize and respect the fact that our family is a unit and that we belong to one another treating each other with the love, respect and appreciation we each deserve.
7. Yelling, name – calling, unkind words, and disrespect for each other’s property will not be tolerated.
8. Communication will be a top priority. We will inform one another of where our, who we are with, and when we can be expected to return home abouts at all times. No exceptions.

You will notice that the resolutions are not just a set of rules for your teen. They are family resolutions – holding every family member accountable. Making resolutions in this manner is not only a more effective way to produce the desired results, but it sends a clear message to your teenager that your intentions truly are to rebuild your family – not make their life miserable. So with all that being said… HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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If you have a teenager in your house you have questions running through your mind – Darla Noble

IF YOU’RE BLESSED WITH A TEENAGER WHO IS RESPONSIBLE, RESPECTFUL, HEALTHY AND ALL THOSE GOOD THINGS, YOU’RE PROBABLY ASKING YOURSELF QUESTIONS LIKE THESE:

• How did I get so lucky?
• How long is this going to last?
• Does this mean there really are aliens?
• Can I honestly believe I’ve done this right?
• Can I assume this will last through his/her lifetime?

OR IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR TEENAGER, HAVE A TEENAGER WHO IS DEFIANT, REBELLIOUS AND POSSIBLY EVEN A DANGER TO HIM/HERSELF AND OTHERS, YOU ARE UNDOUBTEDLY ASKING THESE QUESTIONS:

• What did I do wrong?
• Is this really my fault?
• Why me?
• He/she hasn’t always been like this…what happened to change them?
• I need help – where do I go and what do I do?

THE ANSWERS FOR THOSE WITH INQUIRING MINDS

THERE ARE MULTIPLE SOURCES OF HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT AVAILABLE FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN OF ALL AGES OF THE MOST VALUABLE BEING BOOKS ON PARENTING.

From the time Dr. Spock’s book hit the shelves in 1946, books on parenting have become one of the most sought-after genres of readers everywhere. The subject matter has even been the premise of movies for generations-including the enjoyable and star-studded “What to Expect When Expecting” that made movie – goers laugh till they cried and recall their own experiences with fond memories.

What’s that I hear? Groaning? A book, you say? Yes, books. Books on parenting can be life-savers for parents looking for help in:

• Developing better and stronger relationships with their children
• Dealing with their child’s physical limitations
• Coping with the stress and extra measure of everything it takes to parent a child with limitations
• Building on a foundation that is solid so it will not crumble
• Being encouraged by parents just like yourself
• Growing your parenting skills into those of an intentional parent
• Knowing what it is your teens are looking for, needing, desiring and searching for

Think about it…what other way would you possibly have to benefit from the wisdom of healthcare professionals, those who have dedicated their lives to understanding teenagers and other parents navigating these unchartered waters? It’s probably safe to say you don’t have their numbers in your phone or that you’re not Facebook friends.

Reading is easier than ever before / E-Readers are one of the best things to hit the world of technology since the microwave. No, seriously. E-books are less expensive, so much more portable and take up lots less space than hard copies. In other words, there is no excuse for not taking the time to read up on your parenting skills; get a few ideas, do a little commiserating and even learn a few things about being a teen that you’ve either forgotten or in reality didn’t exist when you were standing in your teen’s shoes.

What’s out there for me / Admittedly it can be a bit overwhelming when you go to sites like Amazon or Barnes and Noble and see the pages and pages of titles to select from. And maybe you don’t have a lot of time to read the synopsis to find what you are looking for. That’s where we can help. Here is a list of recommended reading for parents of teens and a brief description of the book, allowing you to see whether or not it may be of help for your particular situation. Other valuable sources for knowing what to read include recommendations from other parents, the high school guidance counselor, your minister and teen mentors such as those in sports and after-school programs.

Getting to Calm / by Dr. Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt
This book takes a physiological look at what makes your teen function and the physical aspects of creating an environment that is conducive to positive behavior.

I’d Listen to My Parents If They’d Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens by Anthony Wolf
Book that combines humor with wisdom in knowing when and when not to talk to your teens and what to say so they’ll listen. Today’s teens live in a world of technology which they have literally attached themselves to 24/7. Parents need to know what it takes to get through to teens on their level. Mr. Wolf is also the author of Get Out of My Life and Cheryl to the Mall? Mr. Wolf’s books are among the most popular and widely-acclaimed parenting books in the nation.

The Five Love Languages of a Teenager by Gary Chapman
Teens are no different from anyone else – they want to be loved. By drawing from Gary’s advice on how to show your teen love and affection in a way they understand and accept, you could save your teen from disastrous and life-altering circumstances. Teens are no different from Waylon Jennings – they’ll look for love, even if it is in all the wrong places.

The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
One of the most effective and encouraging books ever written on the subject of parenting. Stormie leaves no subject untouched when it comes to being an intentional parent – one who invests heart, soul and mind into loving and raising a child to be the person they created to be. Parents of teens find this book especially helpful.

How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlis
This is a delightful, easy-reading book packed full of practical and realistic ideas on how talking less brings more results and strengthens your relationship with your teens. From the opening chapter, you’ll be hooked!

Seventeen Magazine That’s right. What better way to know why your teenage daughter feels so strongly about looking this way or that and why she just has to have that pair of jeans? The magazine is filled with advice for teens on boys, dating, sex, school and a plethora of other topics. Shouldn’t you be aware of how your daughter is being encouraged to handle herself and how she’s being influenced regarding the choices she makes?

OTHER GREAT SOURCES INCLUDE BOOKS BY DR. JAMES DOBSON, SUSIE DAVIS, CARLETON KENDRICK AND KIMBERLY ABRAHAM

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The latest statistics show that approximately one quarter of the nation’s teens are obese. We’re not talking a bit on the chubby side or large-framed, with a little junk in the trunk. We’re talking obese health – threatening, body – imaging, depriving, exercising obese

What’s wrong? Why this problem of obesity in America’s teens? THERE’S NO ONE ANSWER. THE REASON OR REASONS COULD BE ANY COMBINATION OF THE FOLLOWING:

• Poor self-image. That seems like a bit of an oxymoron, but it’s true. A teenager who looks at herself in the mirror and doesn’t see a perfect model-thin, touched-up image staring back at her takes comfort in comfort foods. Comfort foods pack on calories and pounds, so the problem only gets worse.
• Stress. Teens have huge stress levels. Problems at home, pressures at school, the pressure of what to do with their lives, peer pressures, dating stress… Their source of comfort often ends up being food. It’s an escape-it tastes good and doesn’t ask anything of them.
• Laziness. Yes, this is a generation of lazy teens. The amount of time they spend in front of a game console or computer is nothing short of sad and pathetic. Parents, you need to put an end to this. High school doesn’t require more than 2 semesters of physical education to graduate, so teens aren’t getting much exercise at school, either. Make physical activity a ‘must’ in your house.
• Poor eating habits. Even if your teen plays sports, gets plenty of exercise and is confident in who they are (as much as any teen can be), if their diet consists of pizza, cheeseburgers, ramen noodles and Pepsi, they are setting themselves up for problems.

why it matters
Everyone wants to feel good about the way they look and feel. But that’s not easy when your teen is having trouble breathing, sleeping or when they look at the skinny girls in magazines and have to sit across from them in Spanish class or have a gym locker next one of them.

Knowing your teen is feeling so down should be enough to push you into actively helping your teen get a handle on their weight issues, but if it’s not, what about these facts:

• Obesity increases the chances of heart disease
• Obesity increases the chances of stroke
• Obesity increases the chances of diabetes reproductive and pregnancy issues
• Obesity is often a factor in being overlooked for jobs
• Obesity is hard on bones and joints

what you can do
Talk to your teens. If your teen has a weight problem or is developing a weight problem, talk to them openly and honestly. Let them know you are concerned about their health and their safety. Commit to being their cheerleader and their partner in committing to being healthier. Don’t tempt them with poor food choices. Instead, take the initiative to offering healthy choices and helping them make positive changes toward a healthy diet.

One thing you must NEVER do, however is try to shame your teen into losing weight. Comments about being prettier, more appealing to boys or girls or whatever… comments such as this is the same as pouring gas on an already raging fire. Letting your teen know that you love them for who they are – not for what size they wear is imperative. Your teenager needs to realize their value lies within their character not their looks, but that their body needs to be treated with respect and special care so that it can be healthy and vital.

HOW CAN I TELL
THE QUESTION MANY PARENTS HAVE IS HOW TO TELL IF THEIR CHILD IS OBESE OR OVERWEIGHT. IT’S SIMPLE, REALLY. BY USING THE FOLLOWING FORMULA, YOU CAN DETERMINE HOW MUCH WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE TO GET YOUR TEEN BACK ON TRACK TO BEING HEALTHY AND ULTIMATELY HAPPY WITH WHO THEY ARE

BMI formula
The BMI (Body Mass Index) is the measurement of proportion of a person’s weight to their height/frame. The higher your BMI, the more weight your frame is supporting. A BMI of 25-29 is considered overweight. A BMI over 30 is considered obese.

To figure your BMI
Your Weight in Pounds x 705
(Your Height in Inches)²

EXAMPLE
125 x 705 = 88,125     ₌    1,399     ₌     22
63               63                   63

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It’s no secret that food affects our bodies in numerous ways weight, the ability or inability to sleep (caffeine), the various nutrients we get from it, different taste sensations, how our body functions (think diabetes) and even our moods. Think chicken soup, chocolate and mac and cheese – the mere mention of these ‘comfort foods’ sends warm, fuzzy feelings surging through us. That, and gets our mouths watering.

Knowing these things to be true, it is only reasonable to assume that if food has this effect on you, it has the same effect on children. In fact, triggered emotional and physical actions/reactions are even more evident in children. This may be because children are more transparent in general. It may be because of the ‘concentration levels’- the caffeine in soda or the sugar in a candy bar is the same no matter who eats it. But the size of the body it’s distributed to isn’t.

When it comes to ‘food moods’, we are controlled largely by our blood sugar levels. Blood sugar is simply the amount of sugar in the blood stream sugar that brain needs to function properly. And our brains are kind of like mamma. You know, ‘if momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy’. So when a person’s blood sugar level is too low, she becomes sluggish, incoherent and dazed. Oftentimes, this is mistaken for laziness, lack of attention and even learning disabilities.

On the flipside, when blood sugar is too high, we become irritable, fidgety easily distracted and begin ‘bouncing off the walls’.

Sound familiar? If you’re nodding your head and thinking there’s a nanny cam hidden in your house, you’re not alone. But you need to remember that their actions are largely out of their control. Here is why: when blood sugar levels climb, our body’s handling hormones, cortisol and adrenalin, kick in. These hormones, which fight off stress, push kids (teens included) into action/energy overload. In other words, if you look at your teens’ actions and attitudes from a physical and metabolic viewpoint, they really can’t help themselves. BUT YOU CAN!

Several years ago, there was a popular catch phrase regarding our diets ‘Garbage in… Garbage out’. There’s quite a bit of truth in that little sayin. Keeping a close eye on what goes into your teens’ bodies and being pro-active in guiding and motivating them to eat a healthy diet of fresh, whole foods is your number one weapon against ‘food moods’ and the tensions that go with them.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? CHANGING YOUR FAMILY’S EATING HABITS AND DIET CAN DO NOTHING BUT MAKE THINGS BETTER PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FOR EVERYONE. HERE’S HOW…

1. Eliminate as many processed foods as possible. The chemicals and dyes used in processed foods wreak havoc on the body. It’s not realistic to expect your teen to give up fries and candy altogether or that there will never be another cheese curl passing over their lips. And that’s okay. An occasional ‘treat’ isn’t going to do any harm, but these foods should be the exception to the rule-not the norm.
2. Eliminate as much white flour as possible. Switch to whole-wheat or whole-grain breads, oatmeal or sugar-free cereals instead of sugar – laden cereals and wild or brown rice. If you do this at home, you’ll balance out the fact that the meals they eat at school.
3. Fresh fruits and vegetables should be included in all family meals and made available for snacking. Salads made from lettuce, arugula and/or baby spinach, carrot and celery sticks, cucumbers, apples, citrus fruits, tomatoes, berries… Steamed vegetables (plain or with cheese), fruit topped with nuts, honey and/or yogurt… Kids love these things. If they’re an option, they are usually chosen over the junk. Try it… you’ll see.
4. Protein is essential for a healthy diet. That means meat – but pepperoni and chicken nuggets don’t count. Again, you’re not going to keep your kids from eating these things, but if you balance them out with good sources of protein such as eggs, baked or broiled chicken, turkey and beef prepared at home without the additives and preservatives in pre-packaged goods. Yes, this takes more time and effort on your part, but it’s worth it. And honestly, it’s not that hard. Besides, cooking at home saves a LOT of money, which is never a bad thing.
5. Snacks don’t have to be boring. Popcorn, nuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, low-sodium chips and salsa (once in a while), cheese cubes, fruit, veggies, smoothies made with yogurt and fruit, frozen melon cubes and cookies you make from scratch using whole wheat flour and honey or brown sugar are sure to satisfy. These are all foods that will help to keep blood sugar levels in check and your teens in a good mood.
6. When it comes to drinks, water is always good, but the most popular drink with teens are sports drinks and energy drinks. YIKES! Sports drinks do replenish electrolytes lost when sweating excessively. But most of the sports drinks your kids consume have nothing to do with replacing electrolytes. They just like the taste. And that can be a problem when it comes to renal health. Studies show that the consumption of sports drinks on a regular basis and when not ‘needed’ causes the formation of kidney stones. OUCH! DOUBLE OUCH! As for energy drinks… those things should be banned. Tell me what’s good about sending your heart racing and your blood vessels squeezed tighter than Scarlett O’Hara’s corset and I’ll tell you about my meeting with Santa Claus and the tooth fairy.

Your teenagers have been eating for several years now, so they likely have several of their eating habits as well as their likes/dislikes established. But that doesn’t mean there is no hope for making positive changes. Most teens want healthy bodies and want to feel good. So by presenting the evidence in such a way that it will be beneficial to them to revamp their eating habits may be all it takes to banish ‘food moods’ from your house forever… well, most of the time, anyway. And don’t forget – your teens are watching you, so what’s good for them is good for you, too.

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After reading the book, you would realize that you are not the only parent facing problems and challenges in raising the children. It is a common problem. It is just the book for the parents who want to build stronger relationships with their children.

“Loving Our Kids On Purpose (workbook) New Edition: Preparing Our Kids for the Kingdom of God” has helped many parents learn the new skills of parenting. The accompanying DVD can also do wonders to your relationship with your child.

Many parents have been benefited by this book. Whether you have a 2 years old kid or a teenage child, this is the right book for you. It is the best tool for the parents and would-be parents. Once you become familiar with the child behavior, you would be able to tackle the children in a better manner.

Along with making the parent-child relationship healthier, it is very important that you teach discipline to your child. This book can help you learn the tricks of teaching discipline and good manners to your child. You would be able to help the children to make good choices. The book promises good and healthier relationships the parents and the children.

Grab your copy from Amazon.com and get the required parenting help!

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If you have a teenager in your house who attends public school, chances are you’ve either come into contact with or received a letter from the guidance counselor in their school. And if you are like many parents, you a) smile politely and move on to whomever you came to the school to see, or b) file any letters received from him/her in the infamous ‘File 13’.

Hope fully, however, after reading what Tim Roettgen has to say, you’ll sit up and take more notice of the counselors in your teens’ school; communicating with them and recognizing them for who they are someone who cares about your child’s education and future.

Tim Roettgen is one of thousands of high school counselors who devote their career to holding the hands of countless teens as they navigate the world of SATs, ACTs college entrance essays, applications and scholarship red tape. This is no small feat, to say the least. But it doesn’t stop there. These individuals are the ones who listen patiently while students vent about frustrations in the classroom, with friends or at home. They are actively involved in disciplinary measures taken in the school and in dealing with those students who are struggling with drug and alcohol abuse, pregnancy, homelessness and more. They are committed to ‘being there’ for your teenager.

Tim and counselors just like him all over the nation know your kids. They know what their issues are, what scares and stresses them out and what they want for the future. And since most parents lament that they can’t get a handle on what’s going on inside those teenage minds, we at Parentingteens.com decided to get the ‘low down’ from someone who knows and share it with you. When asked what he thought the most serious issues teens face today are, Tim (as well as his colleagues) didn’t hesitate to say the issues weighing most heavily on the minds of teens are lack of support (moral and emotional), substance abuse, social issues and depression/anxiety resulting from these things.

These are all very adult issues-meaning teens are facing the same things adults face, but lack the ability (in most cases) to alter their surroundings or circumstances to alleviate the problems. They can’t and don’t usually have the maturity level to check themselves into rehab, realize the need for and ask for help with depression and anxiety or voice their fears about their future. This is especially true if their home life is a major factor in the problem(s)! That’s where people like Tim come in…

“We do everything we can to support our students and get them the help they need in dealing with whatever problems they come to us with. We actively work with students who enter substance abuse programs to keep their classes going. By providing academic assistance and the ability to keep up, these students have something to focus on instead of all that is wrong in life. It gives them a purpose and makes them feel there is still some normalcy to their life.”

“We also work closely with other staff members – school nurses and the administrative staff – to get students the help they need and deserve.”

When asked about parental involvement, Tim said most parents are receptive to what he and his colleagues have to say when they have need to contact them. “Most parents care, I hope,” Tim says. But as far as taking the initiative, parents do not seek out the school counselor. They just don’t see the need. And other parents, well, there will always be those parents who are more concerned with their own problems than those of their children. Sad, but true. Having a qualified and caring counselor to go to has been a lifesaver for countless teens. If not for counselors, teens who can’t or won’t go to their parents with their problems would likely seek out advice from their peers. Peers still play a huge role in a teen’s outlook on their problems, but by the time a young person reaches the age of 16, they have figured out that when it comes to the ‘big things’, their friends don’t know anymore about it than they do. They want someone older and wiser to tell them what they need to do. They may not act like it or show it, but they do. Tim agrees. He says there’s no shortage of students coming into his office needing to be heard and really listened to.

“I love it when a student who has come into my office, stressed and anxious about any number of things, leaves feeling and looking relaxed, resolved and satisfied with the solutions we’ve come up with.”

Among the biggest issues facing a high school students is their future – what they are going to do with their life once high school is over. As a parent, I have to admit I was always a bit on the defensive when it came to the school’s push on making decisions regarding careers so early on. Selecting classes in your freshman year of high school that are going to be most beneficial college and their chosen career paths (which they are also encouraged to choose at this time) just didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. And as expected, this is something Tim and the other counselors I spoke to didn’t agree on. When asked if he saw this as a problem, he said,

“Upfront and honest with students. I tell them that choosing a career path early on is wise-it gives them focus and goals to achieve. And everyone needs goals. But I also stress to them that changing that career path is okay. I’ve read statistics that show a high percentage of people change careers or jobs seven times in their lives. I share this with them to show them that changing their minds isn’t a sign of instability. It’s just life.”

Another issue teens are facing is the ‘college or not’ question. This is also something most teens don’t feel comfortable in sharing with their parents. They feel like (and have often been made to feel like) in their parent’s eyes, there is no option. It’s college or bust. In the past several decades, it really didn’t seem to be a question. You either went to college or got a factory (or similar blue collar) job and got on with life. The end. But with the economy being what it is and the fact that a staggering number of college graduates are unable to find gainful employment in their chosen field (but still have to pay back student loans), the question of whether or not to go to college is being asked more and more.

“I would never discourage a student from going to college, but at the same time, it’s true that college is not for everyone. I think we all have different strengths and talents. And if those strengths and interests can be better developed in technical school or other training, then that’s the route they need to take. We provide our students with resources for researching possible career choices their outlook, the education and training needed, projected salaries and such.”

Taking a practical and caring view, Tim tells students, “It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round and we need people in all sorts of jobs. Everyone who contributes is important. I tell students that when it comes to choosing their career, it should be largely based on what they are good at and what they enjoy doing.”

Life isn’t easy. You know that. You also know that teens today have quite a bit more on their plates to deal with than we did at their age. But now you know that you’re not in this alone. You have the help of your student’s guidance counselor the person who willingly and purposefully seeks your student out to encourage, challenge and yes, guide. And if that isn’t reason enough for having a decent level of communication and a huge amount of respect for the Time Roettgen in your life, I don’t know what is.

ABOUT TIM: Tim Roettgen is a high school guidance counselor at Camdenton High School in Camdenton, Missouri. Tim is a loving husband and father with a heart for helping students realize their potential and for setting them on the path that will lead them to their life’s goals and dream.

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