Do you have teenage sons and daughters? That is such a challenging thing. Imagine all those hormones raging out of your sons and daughters. That is why some parents get terribly paranoid about letting them go out. They think of the possibility of those teenagers having relationships that might be sexual in nature.

One of the things that would be important in this stage is communication. The teens, being in high school, they are subject to peer pressure. They are probably confused about their identities as not quite adults but not kids anymore. Shutting them out or the other way around might make things more difficult. After all, it is more difficult to deal with people when you do not know what they are thinking.

Being friends with your teenage sons and daughters is probably one of the things you could do. Give them your trust. But not all of it. After all, as parents you have to make sure that you still set certain boundaries so that they learn and that even if they fall, they would not be hurt too much with their decisions. Aside from that, being sensitive to their needs is one of the most important things you can do.

Fathers might be too critical of their daughters’ boyfriends or dates. Especially during the prom. Or when there is a spring break party. Maybe that would be the time to take the chance to know these people. Crack jokes in their presence but not at their expense so that they know you are not doing this out of spite. Who knows? Maybe they would be your best buds with whom you will batch NBA.

In Gimore Girls, Lorelai and Rory seem to get along pretty well except for the later seasons. Lorelai had Rory when she was still a teenager so maybe that is why they get along pretty well. Their age gap is not so huge compared to other mother-daughter tandems. They even go out shopping together and borrow each others’ clothes. They talk about their relationships. They joke around like friends.

If you think that this is only possible on TV and only for moms who are not too old for their teenage daughters, think again. There are ways after all.

Start them young.

If your children would know you as someone they could trust and easily talk with, that will make them feel this more consistently. That is why it is good. However, the dilemma is that they might be too clingy later on.

Treat them as adults.

This is especially when they are already teenagers. If they know that you are trying to see them as adults, they would feel better about themselves. As if you are equals, in a way. At least when it comes to deciding on certain things for their own. Especially when it comes to dating. This way, you might even have the chance for some heart-to-heart talks.

Have fun with them.

It is true that you have to be serious with them, especially when it comes to discussing matters. But do things together like shopping, going to the salon or the spa. If your daughter likes sports like soccer or basketball, talk about the athletes and maybe even try playing it. Do not hesitate in having fun with her.

The Gilmore girls are probably not the conventional mother-daughter set up but you sure could learn much from their relationship. We are all humans and this is one thing that the daughters should see in their mothers. If you are too strict and stoic, how could they relate with you after all?

Some times our kid’s need a little helping hand in remembering what we ask them to do. If you are a parent of a child who is old enough to start helping out around the house…You will know what I mean.

Some children just do not comprehend and know how to complete tasks from start to finish. So they ask mom or dad over and over how to do whatever it is they are attempting to do.

I thought I would take a moment and list a few things that might be great to put on a child’s list of To Do’s and To Not Do’s. Making a list and posting it in words your child can read will not only help you save all the questions. It will also help you to encourage your child to read.

Toddlers Ages 3 to 5

1. Pick up your toys.
2. Put your toys where they belong.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. When you are done playing put your things
away.

Kindergartners Ages 5 to 6

1. Pick up your things in your room.
2. Put everything where it should go.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. Set out your clothes for the next morning.
5. Try and make your bed.
6. Help set the table.

Children Ages 6 to 10

1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put toys away and other play items.
4. Put dirty clothes in the hamper
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Help set the table.
7. Learn to pick up around the front room.
8. Learn to vacuum.
9. Learn to dust and clean surfaces in bathroom.

Children Ages 10 to 12

1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put belongings away after play or use.
4. Put dirty clothes in hamper.
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Set the table and wash dishes.
7. Learn to clean and vacuum front room.
8. Clean the bathroom.
9. Take care of personal belongings.
10. Put your bike away or any outside items.
11. Feed and take care of a pet.
12. Take out the trash.
13. Help around the house.
14. Be willing to learn new things.

Teenagers 13 and up

1. Do all of the above listed things.
2. Help mow the lawn and pick up around the yard.
3. Do extra chores for added allowances.
4. Baby sit as you grow more responsible.
5. Clean the house.
6. Learn to cook a little.
7. Learn to do laundry.
8. Learn the value of money.
9. Do some volunteer work.

Now Don’ts For All Ages.

1. Do not break house rules.
2. Do not talk to strangers.
3. Do not go any place alone or without
your parents permission.
4. Do not disrespect other people.
5. Do not talk back to teachers, parents or
people with authority.
6. Do not leave your bike or belongings in
places they do not belong.
7. Do not go places by your self.
8. Do not leave your mess for others to clean up.
9. Do not hit, kick or bite.
10. Follow all of your parents DO NOT Rules.

I am sure you get the basic idea of what you want your child to do and to not do. Just make up a list and post it on the door. You may want to add a how to clean your room list. It is always helpful to use simple words that the kids understand and can relate too. You may want to show them where the dirty clothes go.

Just a few ideas to help make life a little easier and more pleasant on the home front.

Does your kid prefer to flop in front of his PS2 with a bag of crisps or take a football and a bag of fruit to the park? Chances are your family falls somewhere between these two extremes, but with concern growing about childhood obesity and the associated increase in the incidence of type II diabetes, high cholesterol readings and later heart disease in our children, the time to introduce healthier lifestyle choices is now.

‘Parents need to recognise the importance of forming good habits in childhood, which will lead to a balanced and enjoyable diet later in life,’ advises Sarah Schenker, a dietitian with the British Nutrition Foundation. ‘Eating a wide variety of foods is the most important thing,’ she adds, ‘and a gentle, consistent approach usually results in a broader eating range.’ Here are some questions to ask yourself.

1. How does your child eat?
2. What would you pack for a picnic or school lunch?
3. How often does your child have sweets?
4. What does your child drink?
5. What do your child’s after-school activities most often include?
6. How much walking do you do as a family?

One Dad’s Rhymin’ Requests

by David Levin

On Father’s Day each father plans
A morning of sleeping late.
But on his day, Dad finds that he
Just can’t sleep in past eight.

On Father’s Day it’s hammock time.
Pile on newspapers galore
And please don’t worry if I doze,
Dig me out by half-past four.

On Father’s Day that dirty car
Will not be washed by me.
Let Mom and the children do the job,
While I laze beneath a tree.

On Father’s Day the kids all think
Dad probably needs a tie.
But I just want a hug and kiss
(And maybe a new hi-fi).

On Father’s Day the household chores
Well, I refuse to do ‘em.
The lawn, the trash, the dishes?
Let Daddy snooze right through ‘em.

On Father’s Day the ballpark calls
Baseball, the bleachers, the sun.
While Dad is off fetching the snacks…
Crack! Hey, was that a home run?

Father’s Day ends with story time,
The highlight of Dad’s fun day.
We cuddle up, the kids and I,
Without them it’s just Sunday.

The other day my husband and I went to the first PTC meeting with our daughter’s teacher, Ms. A. Report cards had just come out and I was eager to see how N had fared in the first term of first grade. It was a big adjustment for her as her preschool was tiny (8 kids on her class!), and her new “big school” was huge (almost 1,000 kids up to grade 12!). I knew that she was happy there, but as any parent knows, the way your kid is at home and at school can be two very different things.

Well, Ms. A told us that N was an enthusiastic learner, did well in all her subjects, especially p.e, art, computer and music. She then also said N was not really a “self starter” and needed some time (i.e. would play, draw or get distracted) before she could sit down and complete a task. In maths, she was very good with numbers, but often got confused with “problem solving” work. In reading, she had also improved vastly (she could hardly reading at the end of Kindergarten), but tended to rush through reading, using context clues to guess the words rather than going through them slowly.

Of course, I also had other questions- like the grading system, which was new to me, ranging from 4-1 (4 being the highest, and meant to be “super, super” not given lightly) and I was used to the old-fashioned ABC’s or 95, 85, 75 etc. N mostly got 3’s, a few 2’s, and two 4’s, but I can’t help but feel that she could have done better – that I could have done more to help her.

I think its up to us as parents to really know and understand our kids learning styles (again, think of the Animal School) as it could really help them not just in their school years, but for the rest of their lives.

Here are some web sites that you might like if you’re the type who would want to spend some time on the computer playing games.

Fupa.com is a web site that features tons of flash games. They have a parenting section, which has many alternatives to choose from. Some of the more interesting ones that I saw are Childs Play Word Search Game and Parenting Word Search Game, which I think are perfect if you’re the kind that likes word games – and I sure do. There are also games for little kids, which are pretty safe for your tiny ones. You do, however, have to register for FREE. It’s like an online community of its own, with some benefits.

Another fun site that I discovered is BabyYum.com. There is just one game – Baby Yum. It’s a pretty easy flash game, where you can practice your multi-tasking skills. I love the stork, which is actually your character. For some reason, the game reminded me of that old Game & Watch game where you caught eggs that fell off the shelves, which you can find left and right. Maybe it’s the set up of the graphics. In any case, I think this is a great game to play when you have some free time.

Of course, there are other countless games that you can play online – not necessarily parenting games, but still games that are worth your while. And, if you’re on Facebook (I know very few people who aren’t), you can have all the games that you want to keep yourself busy. If you like cooking, go for Restaurant City and Café World. If you’re into fantasy, try Castle Age.

For you mums who are not into games, what do you suggest?

Instead, I will write a list. You know, one of those things that we mothers seem to always have around. We have grocery shopping lists, to do lists for the children, to do lists for the house, and so on and so forth. The kind of list that I have in mind right now is quite different, though, and it’s geared towards moms. So, mommies out there, read up!

Let’s say you were given one day (or a week) to take a break from everything that you do daily. You do not have to worry about the kids – they will be taken care of excellently. You do not have to worry about your husband – somehow, he’ll be okay. You do not have to worry about your job – you are to be given time off (paid!). What would you want to do?

While this would probably not be happening to me anytime soon, I thought it would be a fun exercise in day dreaming. Here’s my list.

1. Go to a beach resort with modern enough facilities but without too many people around.
I’d want to spend at least a day just enjoying the sun, the sand, and the sea. I would want to spend it alone with a good book and drink some refreshing drinks while enjoying the warmth of the sun. I would want to end the day with a soothing massage and go to bed totally relaxed.

2. Attend a cooking class.
I’d want to learn new things. Some programs are offered for a single day – even less – and there are programs (such as those offered in Thailand and Vietnam) for a week. I would love to learn the real deal in terms of cuisine from these countries.

3. Spend the whole day in the spa.
Get a massage that lasts for hours, use the sauna, get a foot spa, have a manicure/pedicure – the list can go on and on. While some people take the spa for granted, full time moms (not to mention working moms) rarely have this opportunity.

Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your list?

#1: Spanking
I’ve already written a post on this, and I know just how divided parents are over the issue. Some experts say that spanking can cause children to become more aggressive as adults, while others think that disciplining them in this manner can make them understand the principle of consequences. I lean towards the latter, as long as it is clear that the emphasis is on discipline and not punishment. I know a LOT of people who were spanked as kids and turned out pretty well as adults.

#2: Co-sleeping
Ahh, children need their own beds and their own bedrooms, right? Proponents of co-sleeping highlight the fact that children do need a psychological blanket, and parents serve as that. However, co-sleeping presents various problems: risk of asphyxiation for young kids, too much dependency, etc. I think that co-sleeping is fine from time to time, but it must not become a habit. You would want your kids to grow up learning how to sleep alone, wouldn’t you?

#3: Medication for behavioral problems
These days, a lot of children seem to be diagnosed for ADD and other similar problems. There are doctors who will not hesitate to prescribe medication to treat certain conditions. Should you immediately take their advice? I am a staunch believer in the power of medicine, but I would hesitate if my child were to be prescribed medication for behavioral problems. I’ll get a second, even a third, opinion; and then look for treatment options that do not involve medication.

#4: Breast feeding
The general consensus is the breast feeding is still best for babies (and mommies). Medically speaking, there is no point for debate. However, breast feeding simply doesn’t work for some women. My take is that we should breast feed when we can, and if it doesn’t work, then use formula. Simple.

#5: Underage drinking
My stand on this is very clear: no alcohol till you’re of age. Some parents bank on the premise that the kids are going to do it outside of the house anyway, so might as well allow them to do it at home. At least they can keep an eye on the kids, right? I don’t buy that, do you?

So, let’s get the ball rolling. What are your thoughts on these issues?

Today, however, our children are bombarded with information from all sorts of media: TV, radio, and the Internet. There is no way that we can shelter them from these, is there?

One question enters my mind: is it really necessary to shelter children from the information available to them? After all, we cannot overlook the fact that there is a lot of useful information to be had. I suppose the trick lies in us knowing how to handle the amount and quality of information that our children access.

This is where this book, Parenting Well In A Media Age, comes into the picture. I haven’t had the chance to read the whole book, but I came across it on Amazon; and the title was enough to catch my attention. The product description reads:

This illuminating investigation takes a fresh look at the role of media in children’s lives. An overview of the formidable challenges parents face and creative ways to overcome them are included, as are strategies for turning a home environment from “high-tech” to “high-touch.” Moving beyond demonizing the media, this work, like none before it, articulates the difficulties of parenting in our depersonalized society. It offers hopeful alternatives for all parents wanting to protect children from, and teach children about, media’s impact.

I like the way the contents were described – it does not pinpoint media as “bad” in general. Instead, it highlights the fact that our society can become depersonalized even more because of the way information is presented. I am sure that no one will disagree when I say that parenting is a highly personalized job!

Then again, due to our busy schedules, it is quite easy to fall into the trap of providing our children with entertainment alternatives more than we ought to.

Go watch this education DVD while I make dinner. Go play with your PS3 or Xbox360 while I finish some paperwork. Go on the Internet to find the answer to your question.

These are some common “commands” some parents give their children too often. Perhaps in this book, we might find ways to handle various situations better. I am quite interested in getting my hands on a copy.

Has anyone read the book? Or maybe, you have your own pointers on how to become a good parent in this media age.