Parenting in the NICU and Beyond

Love 2 Preemies

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 05:54:00 +0000

As the parents of two micro preemies, we know how difficult and isolating the NICU experience can be. My husband and I have decided to start our own organization to provide support for families in Bay Area NICUs by delivering care packages, practical information and opportunities for scrapbooking that celebrate each baby's journey through the NICU.

Yesterday we delivered 30 care packages to babies at a local hospital. It was a wonderful experience and we hope to start building the program so we can do it more often.

Fight For Preemies

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:33:00 +0000

I have two children. They were born born too soon and too small. Their combined birth weight is less than 3 pounds. And I am not alone. Today, 1 out of 8 babies are born prematurely. That's scary. We need to find out why and we need to find out how we can prevent premature birth.

Like so many other women, I did everything I was supposed to do. I took my vitamins, I ate what I was supposed to eat, went to the doctor for every check-up, asked many (many) questions and still, I had babies who came early.

To find out more about our experience with having babies born prematurely - check out our video that was made by the March of Dimes. http://www.fifieldproductions.com/_flash_ambassador_family_08.aspx

Beyond sharing the story of our children's premature birth (in the video above), I want to talk more about what prematurity can mean long term. Dealing with prematurity goes far beyond the NICU stay. Many preemies come home with long term medical issues - our daughter came home oxygen and feeding tube dependent. As parents we have to quickly learn often complex medical issues and how best to navigate the complicated and confusing world of doctors, insurance and medicine.

In addition to medical issues, most preemies need additional support for development including gross motor, fine motor, speech, etc. My kids have both had PT, OT, developmental therapy, speech therapy, and more. Six years into this prematurity journey and I'm still amazed how parents of full term babies don't worry about most of that because their kids naturally develop those skills.

Most of the stories we see in the news are about miracle babies that are now "perfectly" healthy. And I'm happy for those babies. Ecstatic really. But I think sometimes in our want for happy endings we end up avoiding the larger issue. Many preemies (especially those that are born weighing less than 2 pounds but even some that are bigger) end up with long term problems including eating issues, CP, developmental delays that extend long past the "catch up" age of two, and more.

Thankfully my son was able to catch up developmentally by age three. Time will tell if any other issues crop up. Although my daughter is still feeding tube dependent and has some developmental and speech delays, I still consider her one of the lucky ones. Things could have been much worse.

I'm grateful for both of my children. They have taught me more than I can imagine about what true strength means. Both of them had to fight just to survive. They fight every day to learn new things.

Let's all join the fight for preemies so that one day all babies can be born healthy.

Calling All Bloggers

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:27:00 +0000

Hi fellow preemie moms and dads.

As many of you probably know, November is Prematurity Awareness Month. I invite all of you to come join me at Bloggers Unite. They are partnering with the March of Dimes in support of Fight For Preemies. The goal is to have 500 bloggers posting on and before Prematurity Awareness day - November 17th.

So consider this your official invitation. Please post a special story about your own preemie miracle. We want everyone to learn why it is SO important to support the ongoing need for prematurity research funding.

You can also grab a badge or banner for your blog. Now get posting!

A Little Blog Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:37:00 +0000

Life has been hectic in the Preemie Parent household lately.

Colds, my son starting Kindergarten (where we have jumped into activities with a full body cannonball - no toe dipping here), new schedules and a pretty bossy two year-old have all combined to take over my schedule.

So I'm officially calling a vacation through next week. By then I plan to have my new schedule set so that I can get a bunch of blog posts up that have been patiently waiting. Like all of you.

Stay well everyone!!

BTW - I found this great section on the March of Dimes website about when to call the doctor: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/298_1449.asp. For some reason it's not letting me format correctly so I apologize for the full link in the text). There is some good basic information that's highly useful when you're at home not knowing what to do.

Favorite Product: Crayons

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 05:15:00 +0000

Who doesn't love a box of crayons? I've seen people old and young alike sit down and instantly start coloring. They are one of the most basic items because they are great - you can nurture creativity and work on fine motor skills while having fun.

Here are some ways to use crayons to help encourage your preemie's development:

1) Start early - as soon as your preemie can hold an object, give him/her a crayon. Place a piece of paper in front of your preemie and help him/her make a mark on the page. Any effort should be praised. In the beginning your preemie will probably just make light, random marks or dots. And that' great!

2) Drawing lines - once your preemie can hold the crayon somewhat effectively, encourage him/her to draw a line across the page. And then down or up. It helps to draw dotted lines to follow or at least show a start and stop point.

3) Learning colors - since crayons come in pretty much every color, they are a great way to help your preemie learn colors. You can ask for crayons of a certain color or request that he/she colors with a certain color. Older preemies can practice putting colors in order from lightest to darkest.

4) Scribbles are important! Don't worry if your preemie has absolutely no concept of how to color an object. That will come with time. Praise all efforts at coloring across an area. Make it fun!

Happy coloring!

It's cold and flu season already

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 03:56:00 +0000

As we are battling colds #2 and #3 in our house (for the last 4 weeks) I wanted to remind everyone that even though it's not officialy winter, cold and flu season is already here.

Check out the Staying Healthy section for posts about getting kids to wash their hands and tips for going out in public. You know - that place with all the germs.

Please send get healthy thoughts our way. We sure could use them.

Learning Colors Activity: Color Jump

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 14:16:00 +0000

We have been working on naming and correctly identifying colors in our house lately so I thought I would share some of the activities that we have come up. This seems to be an area that my daughter is having trouble with so we are trying a lot of different games and projects to keep her interested and learning.

This first activity is called the color jump (she is really into jumping). For those who are less mobile (or less obsessed with jumping), this activity can be touch the color, stand or sit on the color, etc. Anything that will work for your little one.

Here is a picture of the "game board." Please excuse the fast tape work on the ground. My little one saw what I was doing and quickly came over to "help" so I had to be fast.

I started with five colors however you could start with more or less depending on your child's level.

First I showed my daughter each square and told her what color it was. Than I had her stand to one side. As I called out a color I told her to go and jump on that color.
I started with yellow since she knows that color best. She was very happy to go over and jump on the square.
While playing I would first wait to see if she went to the right color and then help her if she needed it.
We've played several times and it keeps her interest longer than looking at a color book or sorting bears.

In my inbox this week

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 03:47:00 +0000

I found two great preemie related things in my inbox this week:

1) The Toys R’ Us Catalog for Differently-Abled Kids. I LOVE that Toys R' Us makes this catalog. They take their toys and divide them into appropriate developmental categories including sensory, gross motor, fine motor, etc. As parents of preemies, we quickly start to train ourselves to view products for more than just the pretty packaging. We constantly ask "What will my child learn/get out of this product?" I think it's great that Toys R' Us takes the time to create this catalog and give parents a head start for choosing products that will be helpful to our kiddos.

2) The NY Times article: For Parents on NICU, Trauma May Last I know this article has been passed around quite a bit this week but I wanted to post it just in case some of you hadn't seen it. So many times the stories about preemies focus solely on the babies. And more specifically the babies who are doing quite well. And while I love a good success story as much as the next person, I think people need to read that the NICU experience extends far beyond the actual experience. It becomes that much harder to survive the experience and get beyond it when no one around you understands what you went through. And they start to get bored hearing about it. I hope that more and more reporters will begin to seek out these stories. They need to be told. They deserve to be told. So thank you Laurie Tarkan for taking the opportunity.

Back to School Time

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:39:00 +0000

We are FINALLY (I hope) over the horrible cold that took over our house for two weeks.

With September just around the corner and school starting - it's time for a back to school post. We have a kindergartner in our house so we are all pretty excited (and a little nervous) about school starting this year.

Here are some tips to help make things easier for preemie's that are going to school or daycare.

The more they know
If your preemie has any medical issues and/or is taking medicine, be sure to talk with his/her teacher at the beginning of the school year.

Let teachers and administrators know basic information about any conditions or issues that your preemie has. Some examples are: asthma, CLD, GERD, delays, etc.
Siblings - If you have older children, let their teacher know a brief summary of your preemie's issues just in case a problem arises. We will be telling our son's teacher about my daughter's oxygen and feeding issues. That way if our son makes reference to it or other kids ask - the teacher will have a basic idea of the issue which will hopefully avoid any confusion.
Services - If your preemie is receiving EI services that will take place during school hours - make sure you let the teacher know so proper arrangements (and expectations) can be made.

Medicine

If your preemie is taking medicine that must be administered at school, find out who will be giving the medicine and speak to them about proper dosage, how to give it, reactions, etc.
Put a Personal Medication Card in your preemie's backpack. I highly recommend having the card for your preemie and carrying it in your purse, in the diaper bag, etc. The link I've provided is to the card that Standford Hospital hands out. If you want to make your own be sure to list the conditions your preemie is being treated for, known allergies, and medicines he/she is taking including dosage.

Social/Sensory/Specific Issues

Social - if your child has any issues with peer (or adult) interaction - make sure your preemie's teacher is aware. Be as specific as possible - what triggers the problem, how to help calm your preemie down, etc.
Sensory - if your preemie has any specific sensory sensitivities - tell the teacher. Again, be specific. Let them know exactly what causes the problem and how your preemie calms down. If the teacher knows in advance they can help prevent issues before they happen.
Specific - Let your preemie's teacher if there is something specific that you want him/her to do or not do. Or on the flip side - if there is something specific that your preemie needs to do each day to ensure a smooth time.

Most importantly: Embrace the new beginning and opportunities for your preemie to learn new things!!

Developmental Milestones: 16-19 months

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:34:00 +0000

This week's developmental post is focused on the developmental milestones of preemies who are 16-19 months old. Previously I have done posts for 12-15 months, 9-11 months, 6-8 months old, 3-5 months old and 0-2 months old.

Gross Motor

Walks up stairs with one hand held
Creeps backward down stairs
Climbs into an adult-sized chair

Small/Fine Motor

Puts a round shape in a shape sorter
Makes marks with a crayon or pencil
Stacks 3 blocks

Social/Play Skills

Plays with the same toy in different ways
Plays with one other child; each doing separate activities
Brings an object/toy to an adult to encourage adult to play

Communication

Names objects or pictures on request
Uses approx. 5-10 specific words by him/herself (not in imitation of someone else)
Will get 2-3 familiar objects when asked (one at a time)
Points to at least 3 body parts on him/herself or a doll

Ways to encourage development:

Continue to practice conversations - let your preemie say something and then say something back. Make sure you pause in between comments so that your preemie has a chance to respond.
Play ball - practice throwing and kicking. Use a large ball for kicking so your preemie can more easily make contact with the ball. For throwing, use a small ball that he/she can easily hold onto. You can practice throwing the ball back and forth or into a container.
Blocks - offer blocks as a toy. Practice stacking (and then knocking them down - the fun part). Build things.
Continue to read books with your preemie. Point out specific things on each page. "Look at the cow" "The cow is eating"
Encourage self-care - let your preemie try to feed him/herself more, take on and take off clothes and wash him/herself in the bath.

Be back soon

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 14:06:00 +0000

Sorry for the lack of recent postings - We have been in major cold city this week. My son managed to get through it pretty quickly but me? Not so lucky. I don't remember a cold this bad in a long time (I guess there is a definite plus side to staying away from sick people). Let's hope my daughter doesn't get any worse.

Be back this weekend with new posts!!

Thank You

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:37:00 +0000

I was recently informed that my blog was included on a list of the 50 Best Blogs for Neonatal Nurses.

Beyond wanting to send out a public thank you for the inclusion, I wanted to pass along the link to everyone because there are a lot of great blogs that could be useful to parents.

So thank you and happy reading!

When Pretend Feels More Real Than It Should

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 23:35:00 +0000

Like many girls (and boys) we have a play kitchen in our house. It's stocked with all sorts of pretend food, utensils, pots, pans and other necessary objects for a kitchen. With help my daughter will happily stir food and pretend to eat it. She very dutifully answers yes or no about the "taste" of the pretend food. Sounds like a great moment, right?

Not exactly.

The thing of it is that all our daughter does is "pretend" to eat food. She will happily ask for food and put it in her mouth. After a few moments or minutes the food comes right back out again. You can imagine how great our floors look sometimes. At this point it has pretty much become a part of our world. I've bought and tried every food possible - spicy soup, bright green pudding, ice cream, Fruit Loops, pickles, mango, the list goes on and on. So far nothing has worked. Since we know she can swallow we hope that she will soon figure out that it is okay to swallow.

As many parents of non-eaters know, it can be tremendously hard to have a baby who doesn't eat. On so many levels. One of the hardest areas is socially. Eating is so.....normal. People just can't grasp the idea that someone willingly will not eat. I've had family, friends, strangers, doctors, etc. tell me to try all sorts of things. And I do. I have. I will. But so far none have worked. Most people are well meaning. They truly want to help.

Then there is the flip side. Some think that we just aren't "doing it right." If only that were the reason. If only it was a matter of me being retrained because let me tell you - I would sign-up for that course in a heart beat. And I'm positive I wouldn't be the only one there. But alas. That's not quite it. It isn't a matter of buying the right food or feeding it to her in a certain way.

I know in time it will happen. It will. Until then I smile and try not to laugh (or sometimes cry) when I ask my daughter if that bite of air was indeed delicious.

It usually is.

Of course.

Imitating Movements

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:04:00 +0000

One of first ways that children learn how to speak and communicate is to copy or imitate movements that they see.

By helping and encouraging your preemie to imitate movements, your can improve eye contact, interaction and communication. Find various times throughout the day to encourage your preemie to imitate various movements. Start by doing the movement yourself a few times and then encourage him/her to do the same movement. Make sure you praise any attempt at imitation.

Here are some activities and movements to get you and your preemie started:

Clapping
Waving
Blowing a kiss
Brushing hair
Knocking down blocks
Stirring with a spoon
Brushing teeth
Blowing bubbles
Pushing a car
Banging blocks or other objects together
Pushing buttons
Throwing a ball
Putting a hat on

Make and Take: Basic Foam Puzzle

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:51:00 +0000

I just posted a tutorial on Entertaining Kids on the Go about making a Basic Foam Puzzle. For preemies who are learning about puzzles and shapes, a basic 2 or 4 piece puzzle is a great place to start.

Encouraging Imaginative Play

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 04:17:00 +0000

Teaching your preemie how to use his/her imagination can be one of the most frustrating and fun things to do. Imagination doesn't come easily at first. My daughter in particular is a very linear thinker - if something does a specific thing than she will do it. Getting her to interact with a toy without any rules or prompts is much more difficult. So we start slow and continue to work on it. Here is a look at one of her new favorite games along with specific examples how we use it to encourage imaginative play as well as speech and fine motor skills.

Here is a picture of our pretend zoo:

As you can see, we subscribe to an open floor plan. Our animals are free to roam about when they need exercise. We also like to give them plenty of changes to their living areas so we occasionally build tall towers are extra tall wall pieces when necessary.

1) Fine Motor - Using large building blocks is a great way to built a preemie's fine motor and planning skills. Encourage your preemie to put the pieces together however he/she wants. There is no perfect building or zoo cage for that matter.

2) Imagination - Talk about what you think the animals want to do. In the beginning you can help guide the activity. Are the animals thirsty? I give my daughter a mega blocks piece and encourage her to give the animals some water. Do they want to play? Maybe they want to jump. Then my daughter will help each animal jump. Sometimes they jump on the ground and other times they like to jump on the blocks.

3) Speech/Communication - Talk about each of the animals in the zoo. Name them and talk about what sound they make. Work on action words like sleeping, eating, or drinking by having your preemie help the animals do each thing. As he/she makes the animal jump say "look the animal is jumping. He is jumping very high." This will help your preemie make the connection between the word and the action.

Documenting my preemie birth experience

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:29:00 +0000

I'm glad that people are finding the 20 questions useful. As promised, here are my responses to the questions. I used my son's birth for this one. I took out all of the NICU related questions because I think I'll do those as a separate set of answered questions.

What are the facts?
a. Weight/height/gestation info.
Dominic was born weighing 1 lb. 15 ozs., he was 14 1/2 inches long and was exactly 31 weeks.
b. Birth info – why did you have to deliver early?
I had to deliver because I had HELLP Syndrome. My blood pressure was skyrocketing, my kidneys were beginning to fail and Dominic wasn't moving as much as he should have.
What are some of the firsts you remember most?
a. First seeing him/her
I got to see Dominic for the first time as they wheeled me from recovery to a regular room. I remember being amazed at how tiny he was and yet he was still able to hold my hand for a moment.
Beyond your significant other, who was the first person you told about what did or was going to happen? Why?
The first person we called was my sister. She was going to college at the time and living with us. She came right over and stayed with my husband which was great.
What was the scariest moment?
One of the scariest moments for me was when I realized that I was going to have surgery. I had never had surgery before and the only thing I could think about was those Reader's Digest stories where the pain medicine doesn't work. In a way I'm glad that those thoughts were there because they quite honestly made me focus on something other than the fact that I was delivering our baby so soon.
What was the happiest moment?
Getting wheeled into the NICU and seeing my son. It was also scary but seeing him there looking like a real baby (I seriously had no idea what to expect) made me happy. And hopeful.
When you look back, what makes you laugh?
I will never forget this particular moment. The doctor had just told us that they needed to deliver right away. In my head I'm thinking "Okay. Well, I haven't had Lamaze classes yet so this will be hard. But women did it without classes for years so I'm sure I can do it." My thoughts must have been apparent somehow because suddenly the doctor looks at me and says "This will be an emergency c-section." Of course I looked straight back at him and said "Right. I figured that was the case."

The other funny thing I remember is not being able to stay awake during the first 24 hours after surgery. They had to give me magnesium sulfate and that stuff knocks you out (esp. when they give you a really high dose). I would fall asleep in the middle of conversations. At one point they had brought me a Popsicle and I distinctly remember my brother-in-law sitting there and having to tell me over and over again "Debbie. Don't fall asleep. You have a Popsicle."
What was the hardest part?
I had to be put under for the surgery because my platelet levels were so low. Waking up in recovery I had no idea if my baby had made it, how he was doing or anything. My husband came in pretty quickly to tell me we had a boy and how much he weighed. The nurses promised to bring in a photo however it seemed to take forever. I felt like I was in that room for hours (turns out it was only about an hour and a half) and just knowing that my son was in the NICU somewhere and I couldn't go see him was really hard. I did finally get two Polaroid pictures to look at and I will always treasure them.
What surprised you the most?
I was really surprised by how hard it was to recover from the initial surgery. In some ways I'm thankful that my first 24 hours were foggy because I didn't focus on the fact that I couldn't see my son. The next day I thought that I was doing much better and started to grumble to the nurses that I was FINE despite what they said. So the nurse had me get up and sit somewhere while they changed the sheets on the bed. Not more than 30 seconds into it I thought I was going to throw up. Hmmm. Perhaps the nurse did know what she was talking about.
Who was there? Who helped you the most?
Many of our family and friends came out to support us which was great. My parents, my husband's parents and my sister (and her husband) were there quite a bit and that helped a lot.
What are you most grateful for?
I'm grateful for the anesthesiologist in the operating room. Just as she was putting the mask on to put me under she said "You are going to be fine and your baby is going to be fine." That helped me relax so much and I will always remember that moment.
What sounds or smells do you remember?
Hmmm. I don't really remember anything right now.
If you could capture one moment in time and take a picture of it – what would it be? Why?
I think it would have to be the moment they wheeled me into the NICU and I got to see my son for the first time. It was scary but also so wonderful. Even though we remained worried about him and his survival for the first few weeks, I think in that moment I knew he would make it.
What would you change about the way you did things or a decision you made?
I had known that things weren't quite right for the last couple of months (I was really small) and I wish I had pushed harder for them to check on the baby. Since he was my first I didn't really know what the expect so I wasn't sure if I was right or just being paranoid.
What have you learned from the experience?
I definitely learned to trust my instincts more. If something feels wrong (or right) than I try to listen to what that inner voice is saying and go with that. I've also learned that sometimes the most important things are taken out of your hands (the care of my son) and that has to be okay in order to get to the next step (taking him home).
Have you changed from the experience?
I think so - I hope so. Among other things, I've become much more assertive with medical personnel. This is my body (or my child's body) and I will always have a say in what is done and why.
How did it make you a better person?
I think that the whole experience has made me much more thankful for what I do have. It has also made me realize that things happen that we didn't want or have any control over but we have to make the best of it. Whatever that might be or mean.
What would you tell other people who are going through the same thing?
Trust your gut. Doctors are often too quick to disregard a potential problem. Friends may tell you - "oh it's nothing. Don't worry about it" And they might be right. But what if they aren't? If you really feel like something is off or not right, ask to be checked. The best/worst that can happen is that they tell you everything is fine.
Would you/could you do it again if you had to?
Absolutely! And I did (with far more issues the second time - lucky me).
How did it feel when you knew you were going to be taking your baby home?
Exciting and a little bit terrifying at the same time.
Five words that describe the experience
Scary. Amazing. Terrifying. Humbling. Incredible.

Documenting the Experience: 20 Questions

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 20:20:00 +0000

Many preemie parents that I talk to have a hard time thinking, talking, or writing about their preemie’s birth experience and time in the NICU. Unlike healthy pregnancies, a preemie birth is far from a joyous, happy experience. Instead it is filled with fear, sadness and missed opportunities. Although it wasn’t the perfect experience, I feel that it is important (perhaps essential) to document the experience. Think of what it will mean to your kids as they get older. Whether you scrapbooking, blog or simply write in a notebook, capturing this experience can be a wonderful way to remember those beginning moments in your preemie’s life.

Ali Edwards has been a huge inspiration for me over the years. She has always made a point to focus on documenting the story. Using words and photos you can remember the memories of your little ones start in the world. She did a great series on using words and photos that I think is fantastic.

I think sometimes part of the problem that preemie parents have is that as they tell the story, the emotion of the whole experience comes flooding in. Most of us can quickly dissolve into a puddle of tears as we remember how we felt and what our babies went through. And that’s okay. I think that if you can concentrate on small parts of the story than you can really capture the whole experience. And hopefully by isolating specific moments, you won’t be so overwhelmed.

I have created 20 questions that I think will give any preemie parent a chance to write down and record their preemie’s experience and hopefully get through it. They might even help you remember things that you forget when faced with the whole experience. You can use the questions to write about their birth, the NICU experience, first year or all of them. In the next few days I will post my answers to the questions.

So take a deep breath. Dive in. Remember the moments. Enjoy the process.

What are the facts?
a. Weight/height/gestation info.
b. Birth info – why did you have to deliver early?
What are some of the firsts you remember most?
a. First seeing him/her
b. Holding him/her for the first time
c. First bath
d. First time on room air
e. Feeding – first time breastfeeding, first time with a bottle, full feeds
Beyond your significant other, who was the first person you told about what did or was going to happen? Why?
What was the scariest moment?
What was the happiest moment?
When you look back, what makes you laugh?
What was the hardest part?
What surprised you the most?
Who was there? Who helped you the most?
What are you most grateful for?
What sounds or smells do you remember?
If you could capture one moment in time and take a picture of it – what would it be? Why?
What would you change about the way you did things or a decision you made?
What have you learned from the experience?
Have you changed from the experience?
How did it make you a better person?
What would you tell other people who are going through the same thing?
Would you/could you do it again if you had to?
How did it feel when you knew you were going to be taking your baby home?
Five words that describe the experience

Favorite Product: Teddy Bear Counters

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:01:00 +0000

We are currently working on sorting and naming colors right now so Teddy Bear Counters are a current favorite toy in our house.

I like these little bears because they offer a lot of color options and kids can enjoy the fun shapes and feel to them. Our daughter is much more interested in sorting the bears than she is flat shapes or paper. Here are some fun ways to use these bears (or similar products) to encourage your preemie to sort colors.

1) Start with only 2 or 3 colors. Too many colors is confusing and difficult for your preemie to master. I like to start with yellow, red and blue because each color is very distinct and easy to tell the difference (as opposed to orange and red since they are very similar).

2) Use cups or a divided tray to help your preemie realize that the bears are to be separated rather than piled together. For my daughter I have found that a divided tray works best because she can't move it. With cups she often gets distracted because they can be knocked over or moved.

3) Place one bear of each color into the cup or tray section. Start out by doing the activity yourself. Pick up a yellow bear and say "yellow." Then point to the bear on the tray and the bear in your hand and say "see- same, same." You want your preemie to start understanding that some things are the same and some are different. This will help him/her figure out how to sort. Do one or two of each color yourself and then encourage your preemie to put the next bear in. If he/she does it right than do a lot of praise. If he/she gets it wrong just say - "No. Those aren't the same." and then help him/her put the bear in the correct spot.

4) Add more colors over time. As your preemie starts to master the basic idea of sorting, add more colors so that he/she can continue to build on the skill.

5) Be patient. Like with anything else, if your preemie isn't interested in the activity than put it away and save it for another time.

Keeping Your Preemie Safe

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:00:00 +0000

One of the big areas that new parents often hear a lot about is baby safety. There are a ton of great safety products out there for keeping your home baby proofed and safe from exploring little people. However preemie parents need to think beyond normal baby proofing and consider baby products and how safe they are for their babies.

The March of Dimes has a great page on Baby Safety. Here are some additional tips for keeping your preemie safe in baby gear or with toys that may not be designed for them.

1) Weight - Many preemies come home weighing less than 5 pounds so car seats can be a big issue. Make sure you check the weight requirements and belt position before buying one. Check my list of car seats for ones that are ideal for preemies. This is also true for other products like Baby Bjorn and some toys. While it may not seem that important - often the weight/size requirement is there to ensure proper positioning during use.

2) Actual/Adjusted age - Remember to use products that are appropriate to your preemie's adjusted age. Your preemie won't get the maximum benefit (and may not be developmentaly or physically ready) for a toy that is made for someone older.

3) Physical abilities - if your preemie has some physical issues or limitations than make sure you choose toys or equipment that will fully support them and enable them to use the item. This is important for equipment such as infant baths. My daughter has low muscle tone so we had to use a bath that allowed her to lay back with support but was also big enough to accommodate her. I like to choose toys that transition through phases such as tummy time, sitting and then standing. This allows you (and your preemie) to get the most use out of the product.

4) Small parts - some preemies tend to be mouth objects a lot longer than full term babies. Make sure that any toy you give your preemie doesn't have small parts (this goes back to the issue of choosing toys that fit their developmental abilities vs. actual age).

To check out potential products and toys for your preemie, here are some of my favorite
preemie products.

Favorite Product: Bubbles

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:28:00 +0000

This week's favorite product is Miracle Bubbles!

Bubbles are such a great, inexpensive toy that pretty much any kid will enjoy. There are a ton of choices out there but at the end of the day - any set of bubbles will do. Here are some ways to use bubbles to encourage your preemie's development.

1) Blow some bubbles - encourage your preemie to watch the bubbles fly away. Once they get the idea of tracking the bubbles, show them how to pop the bubbles. If your preemie isn't yet mobile than I would first try bubbles in the house or in the bathtub. That way he/she has more of a chance to actually pop one. You can also blow some and then use the blower to hold one of the bubbles so your preemie can see it and you can help him/her pop it.

2) Asking for more - bubbles are a great activity to do when you are trying to teach your preemie to tell you that he/she wants more of something. Whether you are using sign or words, blow some bubbles and then wait. Then ask "Do you want more?" Show me/Tell me. And then blow more after he/she indicates more.

3) Gross Motor encouragement - bubbles can help encourage your preemie to crawl/cruise/walk/run. Blow some bubbles in one direction and then encourage your preemie to go get them. This is another time when blowing bubbles inside might help because they don't go as far away.

Let's Hear It For The Dads

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:41:00 +0000

With Father's Day just a few days away, I wanted to devote a couple of posts to dads.

Did you know that the March of Dimes has create a site with information geared just for dads? Check it out: March of Dimes site just for dads. There is a lot of great stuff there. I love that they made a separate section. I think too much of the time all of the pregnancy/new baby information is only talking to the moms so dad's tend not to read it. They miss out on some good information.

Here are some things that I have noticed/learned/discovered as the parent of two preemies:

1) Ask him too - With both of our kids I've heard many people ask "how are you doing?" or say "this must be so hard on you." And while I greatly appreciate the concern, I realize that many people don't/didn't ask my husband how he was doing. It's his baby in the NICU too. So take a moment and ask the new dad how he's holding up.

2) Guys are different - Although there are thousands of articles and talk show segments devoted to the fact that guys react and think differently than women, in the stress of the moment we often forget. We maybe in the corner crying our eyes out and look over at our husband/partner and see him zoning out watching a ballgame. Your first instinct maybe to yell "What is wrong with you?" but before you do that - take a moment (or two). Guys often internalize a lot of stuff - just because he isn't sitting next to you crying doesn't mean he isn't just as upset. Now if he normally cries at stuff and suddenly he has the emotional depth of a doorknob than maybe you should talk about it. Make sure he isn't burying those feelings too deep. I still remember the day that the social worker came to see us after our son had been born. He was born very early Saturday morning and she didn't see us until late Monday afternoon. Now, if I can help it I try not to cry in front of random strangers. We had already talked and cried with so many people that I was able to hold it in. So, it bothered me SO much when after talking with us she said "I'm a little concerned that you guys aren't more upset. You know, crying more." Remember that outward appeareances often hide what's going on inside.

3) Dads need to take care of the baby too - I know how hard it is to watch your baby in the NICU and see the nurses doing all of the day to day care. You just want to jump in there and say "that's my baby. I want to do that." So I also know how exciting it is to change a diaper and take a temperature. Finally - mom gets to do something. And while that is very important and a huge bonding moment, don't forget about dad. Let him (even encourage him) to get in there too and change the diaper every once in awhile.

4) Dad may not want to be at the hospital for as long as you do - this goes back to the whole concept of guys are different. You may be content to see at your baby's bedside for hours at a time. Your husband may be good with a 10 minute visit. Or vice versa. One is not wrong or better. Try not to get upset with your husband. Talk about it and just accept that he is doing what he needs to do and you get to do the same.

More later this week...

Sign Language: Play

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:17:00 +0000

This sign language post is devoted to the sign for "play." Obviously kids love to play so this is a great sign to teach but it's also another nice way for your preemie to indicate an activity vs. a need.

Go here for an explanation and video on how to do the sign. For beginning tips on introducing sign language to your preemie, click here.

How to incorporate the sign:
- Start using this sign every time you want your preemie to "play" with you. Start by using the word and the sign together. After your preemie has watched you a few times, help him/her do the sign him/herself. *TIP* Depending on how old your preemie is, play can be a difficult sign to figure out. My daughter had a hard time making a distinction between play and all done because they both involve moving your hands around. We changed the sign by having her just use a closed fist and then moving them. If you do make any sign modifications - make sure any caregivers, therapists, family members, etc. know what the modified sign is indicating.
- Every time you change activities during play time, use the sign and word together. For example: Do you want to "play" with the blocks? That was fun. Now let's "play" with the puzzle. Anything that helps your preemie realize that if he/she uses the sign, he/she will get to do what they asked to do.
- If your preemie brings you a toy, use the sign or encourage him/her to use the sign before playing. You can take the toy and say "do you want mommy to play blocks with you?" and use the sign.

Remember to try and honor your preemie's request to play if he/she uses the sign. Even if you only have a couple of minutes, that will still help your preemie make that important communication connection (ask and you will (usually) receive).

Development: Learning Joint Attention

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Thu, 28 May 2009 22:52:00 +0000

"Joint attention" means the active sharing of an experience with your preemie. When both of you are actively looking at an object or event - sharing in the moment. This can be a very difficult skill for some preemies to learn but it is really important for learning speech and social skills.

Here are some ways for you to help your preemie develop this skill:

"Look at me" - While your preemie is sitting near you, tell him/her to "look at me" and wait for him/her to look. If he/she doesn't than say it again but gently tap his/her face and then your own face. Again, wait for your preemie to look.

"Look" Part 1 - Hold up a toy and say "look." Wait for your preemie to look at the toy. When he/she looks, give him/her the toy as a reward. You can also point to a toy and say "look." Once your preemie has looked at the toy than give it to him/her to play with.

"Look" Part 2 - Blow bubbles and say "look." When your preemie looks at you, blow more bubbles and then say "look" again while you point at the bubbles.

"Look" Part 3 - Reading books is a great way to help encourage your preemie to grasp the "look" concept. As you read a book, point to the picture and say "look." You want your preemie to look at you and then look at the picture.

You can practice this concept anywhere or with anything that your preemie might be interested in. A balloon, family member, trees, anything that will attract your preemies attention and get him/her to share the experience with you.

New Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Preemie Parenting) — Sat, 23 May 2009 02:14:00 +0000

I've started a new blog - sort of an extension of this one. It's called Entertaining Kids on the Go. After having to take my kids to weekly appointments and being forced to come up with some fast ways to keep them entertained and quiet - I decided to start a blog that shares those ideas for other moms and dads.

Enjoy!