April 15, 2026

How well do your kids think of what others want or need before they think of what pleases themselves? Do they ever offer to help around the house vs. hiding out in their rooms? Are they characterized by being patient and kind with their siblings instead of ignoring them? Do they show appreciation for what they get instead of getting angry when they don’t get their own way? Do they enjoy being with the family? 

If you asked your kids (7 yrs. and up) what the word “respect” means, what do you think they would say? To be respectful is to show that you think what others feel, think or want is important enough to put them before what you want. 

When we respect someone, we’re acknowledging their good qualities and actions, regardless of whether we agree with all their opinions and choices or not. When someone doesn’t think they need to respect the needs and wants of others, they are showing their heart is full of arrogant pride. They think they are better than others and definitely more important than anyone else.

Kids aren’t naturally respectful. We are all born with a nature that tells us to put ourselves first. That’s Satan’s way to live. It is up to you to teach your kids what respect is and why they should show it to others. The first why is that it is the way God wants us to live. Matthew 7:12 tells us to do to others what you want them to do to you. This is also called the Golden Rule. 

When we respect others and feel respected in return, we feel good about the relationships we have and the people we come into contact with. Respecting others means you accept them even when you don’t agree with them. Respecting others builds feelings of trust, safety, stability and security in others and yourself as well.

What do parents need to include when working with their kids to respect others? Start at home. Teach them to ask permission to play with a sibling’s toy, or go into a sibling’s room. Teach them that being thankful for what they have is an everyday thing and they should say it without you having to prompt them. Teach them to listen to what others say instead of talking over them.

Teach them making people wait for them is rude so when you tell them to put what they will need to take to school the next day by the door to do it. 

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind 

let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; 

do not merely look out for your own personal interests, 

but also for the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:3-4

DEALING WITH SIBLING CONFLICT (2-Part Series) 

In Part 1 of this Mom’s Notes, the difference between sibling conflict and sibling rivalry is defined and how to recognize it is clearly outlined. Ways that parents, perhaps unintentionally, promote sibling rivalry are also discussed. In Part 2, ways that parents can deal with conflict resolution among siblings are given.

Use code APRIL19 at checkout by April 19th, 2026 for $4 off the Dealing With Sibling Conflict 2 Part Series

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#26 Respecting Siblings

Respecting a sibling is one thing, but treating them with respect is another. Learn how to deal with disrespectful siblings so they can get along when you are not watching.

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

April 8, 2026

We went to a theme park with our son’s family recently. He has 4 kids who wanted to ride roller coasters. They of course want their dad and Papa to go with them, so our son and I went on the rides with them while Carla and their mom stayed behind watching and taking pictures.

For one coaster, you had to stand in separate lines to get in the seat of the car. One line only had one person standing in it. I could see out of the corner of my eye a kid who looked to be about 11 or 12 yrs. old wanting to push past our group and join that lone rider.

I didn’t have a problem with this except how the young man was trying to do it. He did not say “Please may I get by you” or “Excuse me”, he just tried to push me out of the way. Feeling disrespected, I wondered where his parents were. I then wondered if they had taught him basic respect of others. 

As these thoughts were going through my mind, he tried pushing between my son and I, which did not go well for him. Seeing an opportunity to reinforce what they have taught their kids on showing respect to others, our son asked this space invading kid,” Do you want something?” As he was now standing between two adult men, he looked at us and said, “I am trying to get to that car to ride with that guy.” My son said, “Is there a nicer way to accomplish that rather than try to push through us?” The kid said, “Could I please get by?” My son then stepped aside and said “Sure, I would be happy to move so you can get through.”

While this kid was still within earshot, our son took the opportunity to review with his 12 yr. old daughter what she would have done in that situation if neither he or I were there. Our granddaughter replied that she would have said, “Please sir, could I squeeze by you so I could ride up there where there is only one person in line?” My son commended his daughter and told her that was exactly what he hoped she would have done.

To be respectful is to show that you think what others feel, think or want is important enough to put them before what you want. Kids don’t come by being respectful naturally, so it is up to parents to teach them what respect is and how to show it to others.

This kind of teaching is what Moses gave Israel to teach their children in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 when he said,

^“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home 

and when you walk along the road.”

“UNDERSTANDING CHARACTER TRAINING (Part 1 and Part 2)”

How do you know if you are reaching the heart of your child or teen? Do you want your kids to be kind on their own initiative? Then you have to put the need to be kind into their hearts.  This 2-part series lays the foundation for understanding what character training is and how Godly character is developed in one’s children.

Part 1 – Laying the Foundation

Part 2 – Getting to the Heart of Your Child

Use code APRIL12 at checkout by April 12th, 2026 for $4 off the Understanding Character Training 2 Part Series

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#45 How is Your Kids “Respect Cog”

Respect is an integral quality everyone needs, including kids and teens. There are several areas kids need to learn to show respect to and in. Joey & Carla share 4 ways to keep your child’s respect cog functioning properly.

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

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March 25, 2026

Spring is here and the seniors in high school, those in their final year of school are ready to be done with their studies and just have fun. If you have had a senior in your home, you will recognize the symptoms – once they get accepted to the university or college of their choice, they mentally move there. They treat their younger siblings as though they are back in the preschool years. They treat you, their parents as peers. There is a name for this, and it is “senioritis”.

We mention senioritis in our teaching titled, “Navigating the Rapids Of Parenting” (you can download it and watch the video of it here). You may still remember some of the things you did when you were a senior and recognize your teens doing them too! Realizing they are coming to the end of their time with their friends, seniors neglect their family and their responsibilities at home and focus on their friends who they fear they may never spend time with again. They don’t want to lose these last few months of experiences so they put things they need to do on the back burner so they can make the most of their time with their peers.

Seniors don’t realize the offenses they build up with their parents and siblings because they don’t make them a priority. They often aren’t keeping on top of their chores, which can take a lot of time from parents or siblings when they cover for them. There is never a time to put relationships and responsibilities on hold. When they go to university, their parents and siblings are going to miss them too. So, parents, if you have a regular Family Night, make sure you keep that up with mandatory attendance by all family members. And make sure your seniors stay on top of their chores and other responsibilities. If you don’t, your family or chores won’t be important to them when they come home from school breaks either. Instead of seeing old friends and spending time with family they will spend their time in their room texting their university friends.

When they start skipping their responsibilities, they also will likely put their relationship with God on hold too. It is God who should be guiding them at this very important stage of life when they are making life-changing decisions of where to go to school and what kind of career to be pursuing. We told our kids that before they chose a secular university to go to, we wanted them to find out if they had Christian organizations like Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Cru or Navigators on campus and were they active in campus life? Making these decisions without having a vibrant relationship with God was not a good idea.

Senioritis will come, but you don’t have to be the caught off guard by it. You can guide your teens in and through this all-important stage and phase of life watching them transition to their young adult years more mature and wiser than many of their friends and peers.

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#50 Do Your Kids Have Time for God? 

Every Christian parent wants their child to grow up to believe in God, but 85% of kids don’t! Learn practical ways to help your kids grow in their faith and be in the 15% who sticks with Jesus.

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

Joey & Carla Link

March 18, 2026

In Spring, we see plants and flowers popping up, making the land look fresh and bright with color. It’s also a time where our kids can start blooming in ways we may or may not be expecting or ready for. 

They can surprise you with a deeper understanding of things they used to resent, showing as a growing maturity. Or they can show you an unwillingness to grow in maturity, meaning they do have deeper understanding but just don’t want to take the responsibility on that comes with it, so they stubbornly resist that growth.

Parents, at times, tend to forget that there is still a lot their pre-teens don’t know because although they may understand the “why” of things better, they don’t yet have the experience to go with it. Understanding the “why” plus experience equals maturity. So, you need to look for or create opportunities for them to get the experience they need.

For example, we think all kids should work for someone other than you before they leave your home. They need to learn how to work for an employer under your guidance rather than try to figure it out on their own. Employers sometimes tell us they don’t hire teens anymore because they don’t have time to deal with the common excuse of “I don’t feel like coming to work today”, their consistent lateness and sloppy work habits. 

Another thing that blooms with the coming of Spring is girls’ bodies start showing curves and guys start noticing them in a different way. Dads, have you started working with your pre-teen boys (10-12 yr. olds) on how to control what they are looking at, and what to do when temptation hits them hard and fast? Moms, have you worked with your pre-teen girls on being modest in the way they dress and how to deal with changes in their bodies and what that does to their emotions? 

We are often surprised when we see photos of girls from strong Christian families in their prom dresses or bridal gowns. There isn’t a lot left to the imagination. They need to understand what the visual picture they are intentionally creating is doing to every teen male and man that sees them. Plus, in this way Christians are showing the world that they would rather live by their standards instead of God’s. 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing 

of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is

 – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

The Middle Years Transition – When your kids are 10-13 years old they are in the “Middle Years Transition” which is often the trickiest transition in parenting. This is when the world and friends are really starting to influence them and they start showing it in their attitudes and actions. If you have a preteen you’ll want to check this Mom’s Notes presentation out! 


MP3

PDF

Use code March22 at checkout by 3/22/26 for $1 off the MP3 and PDF

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#50 Do Your Kids Have Time for God? 

Ever Christian parent wants their child to grow up to believe in God, but 85% of kids don’t! Learn practical ways to help your kids grow in their faith and be one who sticks with Jesus.

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

March 11, 2026

During the Spring, we see plants and flowers popping up, making the land look fresh and bright with color. It’s also a time where our kids can start blooming in ways we may or may not be expecting or ready for. 

Springtime leads to new experiences for kids who have been cooped up at home during the cold winter months. Kids finally get their bikes out, and want to ride off into the wild blue yonder. Do you take the time first to ask them what the family rules are when it comes to bike riding? Reminding them before they take off for the first time is much better than yelling at them after they get home. Do they keep to the guidelines of coming home when they are supposed to, and not going further than you have told them they can? Or do they stretch these limits with the bloom of spring thinking they are older and wiser now and they can go just a little bit farther, or take a few more freedom’s without getting your permission first?  

As Spring stands tall and proud, kids can get full of themselves standing tall and proud too especially after Spring Break in school, because they have already mentally moved themselves up a grade level, plus they are anticipating new freedoms they plan on taking over the Summer. 

Parents are all too often blindsided when they have to deal with the very bad, self-centered attitude that comes with pride. When a kid takes an unearned freedom and you don’t say anything, then you are giving them permission to keep this freedom and your kid has established a new standard for the family, because we guarantee you their siblings will follow the freedom-taking leader.

Not only that, but when you do decide they shouldn’t have that freedom so you tell them to stop doing it, why are you surprised when your kids roll their eyes at you and keep it in their freedom arsenal?

Yes, Springtime can be a great time to see your kids bloom and grow and mature in many ways, but all too often it’s also a time when they are stretching out to try new things. Parents need to make sure their kids have full understanding and wisdom to know why they need to do something a certain way and how to do it appropriately.

“Ask the Lord for rain in the springtime; it is the Lord who sends the thunderstorms.

He gives showers of rain to all people, and plants of the field to everyone.”

Zechariah 10:1

Have you listened to these Mom’s Notes presentations?

Understanding Freedoms Mom’s Notes MP3 & PDF (2 Part Series)

If you’ve noticed your kids taking freedoms that you didn’t give them, this is a great presentation for you! It will help guide you through the process of when to give them more freedoms and how to pull back on ones they’ve already taken. 


Use code March15 at checkout by3/15/26 for $5 off the 2 part series

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#18 Freedom Areas Kids Try to Take

The freedom’s your kids have should only exist because of what you allow them to do, choose, or say. This episode deals with specific ways to deal with these freedom areas proactively when your kids are misusing them to help get them back inside the boundary areas you have set for them.

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

February 18, 2026

Joey and I have been married over 40 years. That is a long time and does indicate we are no longer young or middle-aged adults! In the last post, we talked about ways to destroy your marriage relationship. In this post we are going to talk about the good habits you can get into to build a strong and vibrant marriage.

1.     Emphasize the good things.  You may be concentrating so much on what your spouse is not that you become blind to some of the fine things that make him/her what he is.  Recently a wife came to me very distraught over her marriage relationship. As she was describing her feelings, the picture that came to my mind was that of her husband in a crowd of people that were enjoying being with him.  I mentioned this to her and she immediately responded that he was a lot of fun, had a great sense of humor, and was generous.  Often our perspective can change when we take our focus off the negative and put it on the positive.  

2.     An old saying goes, “Do not remove a fly from your friend’s forehead with a hatchet.”  When someone focuses on what to you seems to be no big deal, it is frustrating, especially when it is done in front of others.  You may have said something that was insensitive, and although you apologized for it, he/she won’t let it go and their actions and attitude show it. 

3.     Another old saying goes, “A real friend is a person who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it!”  If you want your spouse to consider you his/her friend, don’t rub their mistakes in their faces and don’t tell him/her how to fix them. When you need to talk with your spouse about something you know he isn’t going to want to hear, ask yourself first, does he need to hear this?  Is there a better time or way I could approach him with this?” “Convince, rebuke, and encourage with the utmost patience…” (2 Timothy 4:2)

4.     Be an encourager.  There are times you are going to have to say negative things to your spouse for whatever reason. Your spouse will handle the negative when it is balanced with encouragement.  When your spouse gets overwhelmed with their faults, as you or others perceive them, it is easy to lose their confidence in their strengths.  

Charlie Shedd, in his book Letters to Karen says, “Tell your husband he is wonderful.  You can only tell him he isn’t wonderful where he isn’t if you have already told him he is wonderful where he is!”  Take the time to notice the good things your spouse does for you and others and tell him/her so. “Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others.” (Philippians 4:8)

5.     Make time for your spouse.  Co-authors Cay Bolin and Cindy Trent in their book, “How to be your Husband’s Best Friend” have this to say about busyness. “There are many demands on our time, children, housework, community and church involvement, and so on.  Do we have anything left for our husbands?  So often we think they will understand. But our husbands need to know they are special to us.  Often, I just need to be reminded to refocus on my husband.  It seems that the ones closest to us suffer the most from our busyness.  Busyness takes more than it gives.” 

Joey has, at times, reminded me over the years of our marriage that he doesn’t feel that his needs have priority in my life.  I used to think he was selfish when he said this.  In the early years of our marriage and then again when our children joined our family, I didn’t understand that his needs were my first and foremost priority.  Yet, when his needs are met, he fulfills his tasks and responsibilities better with more confidence, energy and enthusiasm.  What about your needs, you may ask? I have learned that when his needs are met, and when he feels he has priority in my life, he willingly and without reminding takes care of my needs.

Avoiding the habits that kill marriages and embracing these good habits will help you build a strong marriage that lasts the test of time.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Have you listened to these Mom’s Notes presentations?

“Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?” – Should your spouse be your best friend? We think so. This presentation shares ten ways to assist you in building a positive friendship relationship with your spouse and learn how not to build a negative one. We only shared 5 of the 10 top marriage builders today. You can find the other 5 in this Mom’s Notes presentation.

MP3

PDF

“Ten Ways to Fight Fair with Your Spouse” – Conflict is normal and to be expected in a marriage relationship. While it cannot be avoided, there are ways to handle it appropriately. This presentation discusses ten ways to fight fair with your spouse.

MP3

PDF

Use code FEB22 at checkout by 2/22/26 for $1 off each MP3 & PDF

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#54 Making Your Spouse Your Best Friend – We say love is the glue to hold a marriage together. Discover the undergirding foundation that every relationship needs to make you best friends to work together to raise kids. 

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

Joey & Carla Link

February 11, 2026

Why should your spouse be your best friend?  God created the Garden of Eden to be a paradise. He put Adam there to care for the animals and to enjoy the plentiful food. But God saw that Adam was lonely. To fix it, He created a woman named Eve to be Adam’s helper and they were the first married couple on earth. 

The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone,

I will make a helper suitable for him

Genesis 2:18

A helper is someone who “aids, assists, changes for the better, improves, protects, and serves.”  To understand our role as helper, we first need to understand our husband’s role as the head of the home.  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives submit to their husbands in everything.”

God knew that two people can’t be the head of the same group of people. Someone has to have the final say. One has to be appointed leader or someone will take the lead, whether by volunteering or by force. God made it easy for us by deciding it would be the man in the relationship.

A leader knows it works best if he seeks the advice and opinions of those he is leading. In a marriage relationship, both husband and wife should be making decisions together, and when a decision has to be made they don’t agree on, it is up to the husband to make it. Those of you who know us personally will readily agree both of us are strong personalities. In our marriage, after talking about it, rarely do Joey and I disagree on a decision that has to be made. I have learned to submit to him without getting angry or pouting about it. In the marriage relationship, ladies, submission is a choice. He usually says if the decision he decides on is not working, then we can change and go in a different direction. This is what friends do. While physical attraction is a great thing, it is friendship that sustains a marriage relationship over the long haul. So, let’s look at ways you can kill the friendship in your marriage. These are true of both spouses.

TOP TEN WAYS TO KILL FRIENDSHIP IN A MARRIAGE:

1.     Tell an embarrassing story about your spouse in front of your friends.  They will be sure and never let your spouse live it down, and your spouse will, as a result never let you forget it either. (“Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person.” 1 Corinthians 13:7)

2.     Never admit that you are wrong, but be sure and rub it in your spouse’s face when he/she makes a mistake. (“Love forgets mistakes, nagging about them parts the best of friends.” Proverbs 17:9)

3.     Never say you are sorry, and if you think your spouse needs to apologize to you, make it as hard on him as you possibly can. (“Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18)

4.     Never show your appreciation for anything your spouse does for you.  (“Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4)

You can find the other 6 things we came up with in the Mom’s Notes presentation, “Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?”, which these were taken from. 

Have you listened to these Mom’s Notes presentations?

“Is Your Spouse Your Best Friend?” – Should your spouse be your best friend? We think so. We take a look at the biblical model of submission that is required of women and what exactly it means to be a “helper”. This presentation shares ten ways to assist you in building a positive friendship relationship with your spouse and learn how not to build a negative one. 

MP3

PDF

“Ten Ways to Fight Fair with Your Spouse” – Conflict is normal and to be expected in a marriage relationship. While it cannot be avoided, there are ways to handle it appropriately. This presentation discusses ten ways to fight fair with your spouse.

MP3

PDF

Use code FEB15 at checkout by2/15/26 for $1 off each MP3 & PDF

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#54 Making Your Spouse Your Best Friend – We say love is the glue to hold a marriage together. Discover the undergirding foundation that every relationship needs to make you best friends to work together to raise kids. 

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

February 4, 2026

With Valentine’s Day coming soon and spring-time around the corner, teenagers start looking at dating if they are not already involved in a relationship. It’s both a scary and exciting time for parents, as they remember their own dating experiences and know they need to let their older teens have their own experiences as well.

Parents also know they need to start conversations about how to find a best friend, a lifelong and eventually marriage partner. But, how can they help their older teens learn what kind of person they should want to date and what kind of person they shouldn’t? How can their young adult kids know when someone is “the one”? How do they talk to them about guarding their heart to prevent potential hurt in the process, or compromising their values? How do you explain to your teens that dating and being in a dating relationship are not the same thing?

Not by our authority but in conversation with our teens individually, we talked to them about how to know the timing would be right to start considering a dating relationship and how to go on dates without further committing themselves. 

This is why we put together a two-part video series, not as a how-to date, but rather giving an over-arching, easy-to-follow philosophy for teens 16 yrs. and above and young adults to use to help them with this. It is something both parents and teens/young adults can agree on together so they are on the same page.  

Here is a testimony from a parent who has used the two-part downloadable video with 2 of their adult kids. Recently their 17-year-old daughter wanted to watch it with Mom and Dad too. Here is what Mom said her daughter’s response was after they watched it together.

“We watched your “Dating, Courting and Choosing a Mate, What Works” videos this weekend with our youngest, 17-year-old. It had been 4 years since we watched it with our middle daughter. This daughter appreciated it so much and said she really liked that it gave some guidelines, structure and ideas, and loved the concept of friendship dating. She has a friend who is “courting” right now with the parents in charge of everything. Your teaching, that put the couple in charge of their relationship with the blessing of the parents helped clarify for her how her friend’s form of dating does not help a person fully get to know another person before marriage. She was even asking to watch the 2^nd part without me saying anything as she was getting so much from you both. She said the two of you make the presentation fun to watch. She loved Joey’s stories and charts and Carla’s great input. Just wanted to thank you for the blessing of this teaching for our family.” – Mom in Tampa, FL

In this 2-part digital series, we compare and contrast courtship dating with cultural dating which used to be called “going steady”, but now is called on social media “in a relationship”. What keeps and holds a relationship together through life is the years of friendship built on shared trust that says, “I have trusted you with my heart, now I can trust you with my finances, my body, and all that I have and share the rest of my life with you.”. It’s like what the Shulamite woman said to king Solomon in Song of Songs 5:16 “This is my lover, this is my friend.”

Click here to purchase and download the Dating, Courting & Choosing a Mate video and workbook.

Use code FEB8 at checkout by 2/8/26 for $3 off the video & workbook download

Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#59 Are Your Kids Ready to Start Dating? Dating issues can be complex and overwhelming. Get help developing a dating philosophy that works for you and your kids. 

Click the title or search Parenting Made Practical in your favorite

podcast app to listen!

If you have a teen in your home and you’re looking for a little more support as you navigate the teen years, we’d love to invite you to join our upcoming 5 week zoom class on parenting during the teenage years. Click here to register!

January 28, 2026

Do your kids know the right thing they should do? If your kids don’t know the right thing to do, they can’t tell Satan to get off their backs and leave them alone. Kids under 5 yrs. of age obviously don’t have the maturity or understanding to know who Satan is and the influence he has on us all, or what to do about it. They also don’t have the maturity to understand why something is right and why something is wrong to think or do.

Parents are always the way of escape for young children. They have to do their thinking for them until they are old enough and mature enough to do it for themselves. Don’t allow your young children to be tempted when they don’t have the maturity or know how to make the right choice. In our book, Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think we talk about our daughter Amy when she was 2-years old. I had magnetic photo albums on the bottom shelf of our bookshelf and she would get to them when no one was watching and pull pictures out, scrunch them to her cheek saying, “love Mommy,” “love Daddy”. It didn’t matter how many corrections she got, she still got into the albums every single day. When my mom told me she thought I was expecting her to do something she couldn’t resist the temptation to do, I moved the albums to a place she could not reach. Putting them on the higher shelf was the way of escape I gave her. 

Parents, it is your job to stand in front of your young children and pave the way for them, eliminating temptation in their path. It is your responsibility to protect them by keeping them out of situations where they are not able to keep themselves under control because they are not mature enough yet to handle them. At home, when your kids are playing with their small blocks, it is smart for Mom to put her toddler in the playpen so he will not try to interrupt his siblings play or eat the blocks. It should not be the siblings’ job to keep a toddler away from their toys. This is how Mom eliminates temptation for her toddler and gives him a way of escape that works for everyone in the family.

If your young child is cranky because he is tired, his way of escape is sleep.  If this is a chronic problem, the offender is you, not the child. Young children do better with structure and routine in their day. Having a good, consistent routine in place will eliminate a lot of temptation your young kids could face. (See Mom’s Notes presentations on “Structuring Your Child’s Day, Part 1 and Part 2”)

If your young child won’t stay where you put him, he has too many freedoms, and it is up to the parents to put boundaries in place to rein him/her in. Playpen Time, Blanket Time, and Room Time are great for young kids. When one of our grandsons was around 18 months old, our daughter-in-law had to get a tire on their car repaired and she had quite the wait at the repair shop. She put our grandson on a blanket, as she had worked with him on Blanket Time for quite a while. He stayed on that blanket and played with the toys she gave him for over an hour! She took him for a walk and pulled him on her lap to read to him, but when those were done, back on the blanket he went. People were amazed. Putting boundaries in place is a great “temptation escape”. (See Mom’s Notes presentation “Understanding the Funnel”) Think of the funnel as a fence that keeps your kids’ behaviors corralled.

The behaviors that belong inside a child’s “funnel” are those they aren’t old enough to manage on their own or they won’t manage them even if they are old enough. When visiting us, one of our granddaughters, then 4 yrs. old liked to ride on my exercise bike. She knows she has to ask permission before she gets on the bike. Even though I am right there, she often got on it then waited to see what I was going to do. Asking permission to do something is a way of escape for children because if you give it, you are responsible for what they do. The problem is too many parents don’t require their kids to ask them for permission, so parents turn to yelling or negatively getting on them instead. 

I told my granddaughter to get off the bike and go sit and fold her hands to get self-control. When she was ready to apologize, I asked her how often I said “No” when she asked me to ride it. She told me I never say “No”. I asked her why she had to ask permission and she told me it is in case she falls off I will be there to help her. I reminded her if she had asked, she would be riding the bike and not sitting with her hands folded and no freedoms, and because she didn’t ask, she lost the privilege of riding the bike the rest of that day.

Did you notice that this conversation was controlled by my questions to her? Asking questions is the quickest and most effective way to get to your child’s heart and make him/her think about what he is doing. 

The next day my granddaughter asked me for permission to ride the bike. I told her she could ride it. When she was on it, I asked her why she asked for permission this time and she told me it was because she wanted to ride it instead of losing the freedom to ride it at all that day, and she knew I would say “yes”. 

Understanding your need to be your young kids “way of escape”, having a good, consistent routine at home, putting boundaries in place like Blanket Time and having them ask for permission for what they want are all good, proactive things to have in your home to help your little ones do the right thing before they understand why they need to.

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,

 that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16

“Structuring Your Child’s Day, Part 1” and “Structuring Your Child’s Day, Part 2” – To structure your child’s day is to provide a routine for family living. Part 1 discusses the four areas in every mom’s life that would be more efficient with a routine. Ideas for managing the home and chores are given. Part 2 looks at ways to add structure and routine to your children’s day which will help develop their character as well. This series shares how to have a routine with kids of all ages.

“Understanding the Funnel” – This presentation gives understanding of the concept of the funnel, which is putting boundaries around your kids that are age-appropriate and to help them manage behaviors appropriately. It includes guidelines for getting your child back into his/her funnel, evaluating how to deal with freedoms, choices, and how to correct for “funnel issues.”

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Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

“Can Your Child Handle ‘NO’?” – Telling your kids “No” is an everyday occurrence. Do your kids listen to you when you say “No” or go on with what they are doing? Do your little ones throw a fit when they don’t get their way? When you are in public, do they listen when you say “No” or do they think you’ll let it pass because people are watching? This podcast will give you tips how to handle your child instead of letting him/her handle you!

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Joey and Carla Link

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My kids knew it was their job to put their laundry away. I washed it, I folded it, put it in a basket and put each of my kid’s baskets in their room. From the time they were around 6 years old, I would have them come help me put their clothes away and I gave the job to them when they were doing a good job without help from me for a couple months.

As the kids grew, they would go into their rooms to get something or change clothes, but they didn’t put their clothes away. I put it in the middle of the room so they would have to kick it out of the way to change clothes or do anything else. When their dad or I would go into their rooms to pray with them and tuck them in, I expected the laundry to be put away, but that was rarely the case.

When they saw the basket in their rooms, they knew they were supposed to put it away, but Satan is sitting on their shoulders saying, “Just shove your clothes under your bed. Your mom will never know. She’ll think you put them away.” I never have figured out how shoving them under the bed was easier than opening a drawer and putting them in it!

Don’t you wish you could catch your child before he gives in to temptation? When your kids see their basket and they put it away before getting a reminder or lecture from you, you want to run into their room cheering as loud as you can! When they do this, we hope you praise and encourage them by reminding them of the verse found in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.

And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. 

When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.”  

I Corinthians 10:13 NLT

What is the “way out” when you are tempted? It is a way to escape giving in to it. 

Before we talk about how to plan ways of escape for your kids with the temptations they face, we first need to talk about what exactly a temptation is.

Temptation is: 

Wanting to do something you know you shouldn’t do. When you or your kids do something you know you shouldn’t do, it is sin. “Wanting” and “doing” are 2 different things. “Wanting” isn’t sin yet, “doing” is.

Standing right behind the temptation that is already there, siblings could be egging your child/teen on, or friends could be trying to talk him into doing something, or commercials on TV make him want something he shouldn’t have, he sees things on the internet he knows he shouldn’t be looking at and so on.

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”

James 4:17 ESV

When your child knows what the right thing to do is, like putting the laundry away, and doesn’t do it, it is sin! When your kids chose to, as the verse says, “Fail to do it” they break trust and fellowship with God and they break your trust in them too. This should make you want to train your kids with even greater urgency and effort to help them learn how to “want to” choose to do right, so they will choose to do right when God’s Holy Spirit convicts them when they think about choosing the wrong way.

Kids, Get Self-Control! How many times have I told you…?” says Mom when she can’t believe her child repeated the same behavior again. Kids have self-control; they just don’t use it unless they want to. This presentation shares with parents of kids 5 yrs. and under how to begin getting self-control and gives parents of 5 yrs. and older 8 key areas parents need to train their kids self-control in. Tips and suggestions on how to accomplish obtaining self-control are shared in this presentation.

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Parenting Made Practical Podcasts

#25 Kids and Their Work Ethic – Having a good work ethic means your kids will do a job you have given them to do the way it is supposed to be done with their best effort, and with no reminders from you. Is this the way your kids do their chores and schoolwork when they would rather be doing something else? Join Joey & Carla as they share how to teach your kids how to have a good work ethic and why it matters.

#35 Developing My Child’s Responsibility Gene

Parents want their kids to be responsible, yet can’t figure out how to get them to get their stuff done without constant reminders. Learn how your kids can get the “key of trust” so you are confident they will follow through with what you give them to do.