tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73726031320373314522026-02-03T23:27:34.953-08:00Expert advice on parenting topcis (sleep, tantrums, power struggles, child development, preschool and school selection, temperament and spirited children.Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-52348827447331778162015-07-16T10:48:00.004-07:002015-07-16T10:48:55.989-07:00

“It’s time to leave.” These simple words can morph a delightful outing at the beach, playground or park into a volcanic meltdown of protests.  Going to the playground, park or beach is supposed to be fun.  But if every departure erupts in a meltdown or a mad chase after the child who seems programmed to bolt at the moment of departure, you may find yourself vowing to stay home the rest

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-59528840365835576692015-06-29T09:03:00.004-07:002015-06-29T09:03:42.271-07:00

Oscar was howling when I entered the room.  His younger brother Evan shot a glance at me, then lowered his eyes, turned his head and body from me, all while maintaining a death grip on the iPad in his arms. “He hit me!” Oscar screamed.  This was not an unusual event.  In fact I was in their home to help mom and dad figure out how to stop the sibling wars that had been raging.

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-33557160200398314652015-05-21T13:29:00.003-07:002015-06-01T12:46:21.437-07:00

A good night’s sleep doesn’t begin with your bedtime routine.  It starts in the morning.  All day long we make decisions that either help to “set” the body clock, allowing the brain to know when to be awake and when to be asleep, or innocently disrupt it.  When the body clock is disrupted your child may appear to “fight sleep,” turning nap and bedtime into a marathon wrestling

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-12070319882906831112015-05-07T11:41:00.005-07:002015-06-01T12:50:10.243-07:00

Those who love us and know us well are not mind readers.  Help them out.  If you dream of breakfast in bed, let them know.  Want to go for a family walk?  Pick your favorite site and inform everyone of the time and meeting place.  Bottom line is we can take responsibility for our own happiness.  We don’t have to wait for “others” to make us happy. While you are

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-3710061904206810482015-03-30T11:22:00.000-07:002015-06-01T12:48:08.143-07:00

If nap or bedtime at your house has become a marathon wrestling match requiring more than 45 minutes of struggle to get the kids down, there may be a simple solution.  Catch the cues – earlier.   When children don’t easily fall asleep, it can feel like they are refusing to sleep.   The reality is they can’t.   Each of us has a sleep window.  It’s typically about 15-30

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-76126153953733753962015-03-18T14:58:00.003-07:002015-06-01T12:48:55.470-07:00

Whining increased?  Meltdowns over seemingly insignificant issues pooling on your kitchen floor?   Does it seem as though your child’s communication system has deteriorated to one phrase - “No! You are not the boss of me.”  Are the kids waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake? Are they waking early?  Or, are you pulling them out of bed in the morning? Have

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-73453030551120746052015-02-25T13:56:00.006-08:002015-02-25T14:24:23.857-08:00

Part Two in the Toileting Series  You’ve been trying to lead your child to the toilet, but it’s not working – now what?  Lynn and I decided to play out a few scenarios for you. If your child is reluctant to go near a toilet at all… Do begin simply nudging her toward the bathroom when she needs to have a bowel movement.  If you see her squat or head to her favorite spot

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-50985838245982539492015-02-20T12:45:00.000-08:002015-02-24T08:19:37.624-08:00

Part One:   I will never forget the day my daughter came running into the kitchen to announce – “I have to go potty.”  That was it.  From that point forward she rarely if ever had an accident.  To an outsider that announcement may have seemed almost miraculous.  The reality however, is that preceding that “moment” were months of teaching, practicing and most

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-88186249082006730762014-09-26T07:36:00.004-07:002014-11-05T08:37:55.387-08:00

“I promised myself I was not going to yell at her again,” Kristin confessed.  “But sometimes it is as though it erupts from me. The force of it shocks me.  I keep wondering, who is this?” How is Kristin supposed to keep her cool on the days it feels like her child is gunning for her?  How is she supposed to stop the rush of her own emotions?  It is not easy.  But it is

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-83763869262365643122014-09-05T07:42:00.000-07:002014-11-05T08:39:30.443-08:00

These words can punch you in the stomach leaving you queasy all day long.  How do you know if this is a “slow to warm up” typical reaction for your child, a desperate siren call commanding you to snatch him from the abyss of a terrible classroom, or time to teach him how to work with difficult people? There is a saying that when you hear hoof beats think horses – not zebras.

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-14630374903486603362014-08-25T12:28:00.002-07:002014-11-05T08:40:01.098-08:00

In the video that arrived on my Facebook page the other day Big Foot sways to the music, leaps in the air and chuckles in delight.  The head line reads, “How parents feel when their kids go back to school.” But sometimes along with the relief of returning to a routine comes the angst of whether or not your child is in a good classroom. The answer to this question is available to you

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-32996465294323233522014-08-07T11:28:00.001-07:002014-11-05T08:40:21.465-08:00

How does your child tell you, he’s freaking out about going back to school?   Some kids make it pretty obvious, but others are a bit more subtle. Instead of communicating their anxiety verbally, they show it, with behaviors that are annoying and sometimes downright challenging.  It’s easy to miss the connection.  But think about it. Is your son suddenly refusing to do

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-53316193032465445832014-06-12T10:58:00.001-07:002014-11-05T08:46:22.092-08:00

“Pick up your shoes.”  “Clean your room.”  “Put away your toys.”  “Set the table.”  Whenever, these directives cross your mind, odds are an internal battle begins.  Part of you believes the kids should be helping.  Yet it’s as though there is a war going on in your head. One voice shouts, “It’s good for them to help.   They’ll learn responsibility.” While

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-63309898366159552922014-05-28T14:11:00.000-07:002014-11-05T08:43:46.377-08:00

It’s been an exhausting day, yet you have managed to pick up the kids, get them outside to play in the yard and put together a decent family dinner.  Feeling rather proud of yourself, you open the door to announce it’s time to stop playing and come inside to eat.  In your imagination, this is the moment when both kids immediately begin cheering, exuberantly shouting their gratitude

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-11992261327995971502014-05-21T13:13:00.000-07:002014-11-05T08:44:12.024-08:00

After arriving at the gathering and dropping your four-year-old at the sand box, you’ve grabbed a few chips and a cold drink.  Shifting your shoulders slightly, you take a deep breath.  So far all is quiet.   Joining the adult conversation you attempt to focus, but something inside of you keeps you alert to what’s happening in the “box.”  Just as you begin to relax, the

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-81014762226755642792014-05-13T11:09:00.000-07:002014-11-05T08:44:31.876-08:00

“Any summer plans?”   I asked the parents in my group.  They slumped into their chairs, emitting groans and shaking their heads.  It was Kristin who broke the silence. “Summer has become the season of ‘shoulds,'" she announced.  “He should be in swim lessons.  He should be playing soccer.  Oh, and don’t forget T-ball.” Scowling, she continued, “I can see it

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-82617907532554874772014-01-20T13:19:00.001-08:002014-11-05T08:45:02.355-08:00

Ever wonder why when one child is upset, if you offer a hug, she melts into your arms but another pushes you away?  Ask one if she’s sad and she’ll spill all her woes to you, while another snaps “I’m not sad!” Despite the fact you know she is. The difference in their responses is because children, like adults have a preference for “feeling” first or “thinking” first as they explore

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-25233357671151279202014-01-07T11:44:00.000-08:002014-11-05T08:45:53.879-08:00

Typically five-year-old Andrew bounced out of bed in the morning, dressed and was ready for breakfast 15 minutes later, but on this morning when his mom greeted him with “Hey Buddy, how are you doing?”  He lost it, shrieking, “Don’t talk to me!  I hate you.”  Of course not two minutes later he was begging her to help him dress.  Not only did she not have time, since she

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-58376604947024827152013-12-11T10:06:00.000-08:002014-11-11T11:10:07.470-08:00

Remember the old days when getting out the door merely required putting on your coat and walking out? Or, when someone said, why don’t we go?  You just went?  That was BEFORE the kids arrived.  Now it’s a different story.  Not only are there multiple coats to get on, but those little people frequently have plans of their own, which are often on a schedule that has nothing to

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-73331278282062739952013-11-08T11:33:00.001-08:002014-11-11T11:10:27.642-08:00

Perhaps it was the foot stomp punctuating the shrill rebuttal to your simple question that caught your attention today.   Lately, it seems “normal” has been your child shrieking at you every time you ask her to do anything. How did this happen?  You’re five feet eight inches tall and thirty-five years old.  She’s four-years-old, 3 feet tall and weighs in at 37 pounds yet you’re

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-20452809730864135662013-10-17T15:15:00.000-07:002014-11-12T08:13:43.387-08:00

Tips for Halloween, Ghosts, Goblins and Emotion Coaching: Building the Relationship that Keeps Your Child Working with You Whoppers, Milk Duds, Snickers and more tumble out of your child’s trick or treat bag.  He’s ecstatic.  It’s a candy stash for a year!  All you can think about are the cavities that are likely to develop and more immediately how you are going to keep

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-21087146832818865982013-09-23T11:37:00.002-07:002014-11-11T11:11:09.015-08:00

Your child dumps his cereal bowl on the floor.  The four year old knocks down the two year old.  You tell your child he can’t buy something and now he’s screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the store. You find yourself tackling your daughter to get her dressed.  What do all of these things have in common, other than incidents that make you crazy as a parent?  

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-75308406980498367722013-09-05T11:55:00.005-07:002014-11-11T11:11:28.778-08:00

• What if you just don’t want to go home for bed or naptime? • It’s just not convenient, you’re having fun and don’t want to stop. • You know if you leave the other adults present will glare at you for catering to your child, and question         why you have to be so “rigid.” • The predictability of your schedule is beginning to feel like a straight jacket squeezing

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-87724962437612162492013-08-19T14:35:00.002-07:002014-11-11T11:11:45.924-08:00

Nineteen month old Ava typically enjoyed a few minutes of rocking in her mother’s arms, and then reached toward the crib signaling she was ready to go in, whereupon she would promptly fall asleep.  That was it.     That’s all it took for her bedtime routine.  But on this night she did not reach for the crib and instead clung to her mom’s neck pleading for more rocking.  

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372603132037331452.post-31622483763745169132013-08-05T17:01:00.001-07:002014-11-11T11:12:19.456-08:00

Summer is supposed to fun.  Time to be outside, visit family, attend festivals and fairs or go the beach but it also makes us even more vulnerable to those dreaded public melt down moments.   How does an emotion coach respond when it feels like EVERYONE is watching?   Luckily the answer is: It’s all the same.  You don’t have to come up with a new or different strategy. &

Mary and Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818683489162533475noreply@blogger.com1