Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Give Your Teenager an “A” >>Listen

In their inspiring book The Art of Possibility, Ben and Ros Zander share a simple and profound concept. As a teacher, Ben lets his students know that they begin each semester with an A. He assumes they are worthy of an A, and that is where he begins his relationship with them. Ben is a renowned instructor at the New England Conservatory of Music and the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra.

Now, I know you aren’t in a position to give grades to your kids, so I’m speaking a bit figuratively here.  I invite you have some fun with this concept and to think creatively about this. Here’s my thought: If you were to give your teen an assumptive “A” every day, what would this change?  I suggest it could change several things: (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is coach your teen to handle stress productively. >>Listen

Stress is a big issue with teenagers today. Stress from school is a number one complaint, and kids face stress from many other areas in life – too many activities, poor self-image, illness, family financial problems, separation or divorce …you really can’t eliminate stress from your teen’s life. But there are some ways you can help your kids deal with it.  Let’s consider how you can teach your teenager to manage the stress he faces.

First, I suggest you adopt an attitude of “coach” on this subject, and let your teenager know that stress is a part of life that is both good and bad. (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is tread gently as your teen walks in the door. >>Listen

Jen, your 10th grader, is getting off the bus outside your house…you can see her walking up the driveway. You know she has a report due tomorrow, she left her room a mess, she has to walk the dog, return a phone call about babysitting, get herself to tutoring at 4:30 and…and…and. It’s going to be a busy afternoon and evening, and you know the pressure is on.

Your tendency, as the family planner and manager, is to remind her, organize her, and make sure it all gets done. You know if you don’t stay on her something is likely to fall through the cracks. (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Wag more, bark less. >>Listen

These lovely words of wisdom came from a bumper sticker that I saw last week, and I can’t get it out of my mind. It’s made me think about all that we can learn from our loving pets… which provides some food for thought as we raise our teenagers.

Here are some simple lessons from our four legged friends. Consider the questions they raise: (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Don’t judge this book by its cover >>Listen

How often do you find yourself judging someone by their looks? Judging teenagers based on their physical appearance can be particularly tempting…and wrong! My message to you when it comes to teens is “don’t judge this book by its cover!”

Here’s where we go wrong: adults expect more mature and adult-like behavior from boys who are ahead of their peers in terms of their physical development. (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Look behind your teen’s façade. >>Listen

Teenagers are masterful at hiding what’s going on inside them. Do you see the middle school boys as they swagger into school, looking confident and cocky? Most of them are shaking inside… what you see on the outside is an act. The girls, they usually stick together like glue…this is usually covering up for huge insecurities.

The teenager who acts tough and stoic, is trying to act out a version of “grown up.” (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Practice Using Open-Ended Questions >>Listen

If you are like many parents, you spend a lot of time problem solving. And it’s parents’ natural tendency to tell our kids what to do and how to solve their problems. We’ve spent their lifetime so far managing them this way….and it’s time to make a change. To guide your teen to find her own solutions is learned behavior….your learned behavior.

First though, take a moment to consider why you want your teen to find his own solutions. (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Don’t give your hurt feelings too much importance >>Listen

Has your teenager ever hurt your feelings? I just heard from a mom of an 8th grade girl who was noting how much her daughter criticizes her. Her previously loving daughter tells her now “her hair isn’t right, her clothes are weird” and on and on it goes. If you have an older teenager you may have experienced something like this. And if you haven’t fallen off the pedestal yet, you might want to prepare yourself for the fall. It isn’t a lot of fun….

BUT this is “normal.” (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is How to support your teen’s social efforts >>Listen

Your teenager’s social world is not to be taken lightly…and if your teen is having trouble finding her group of friends right now you’re probably feeling her pain. Friends are everything for teenagers.   

Here are some ideas as to how you can help if your teen is having trouble finding friends: (more…)

Hi – Sue Blaney here with your Parenting Tip from Parenting Teens Info.com

My tip this week is Give Things Time to Settle in Times of Transition >>Listen

Transitions can be tough on many of us. Whether you just put your 6th grader on the bus for middle school, or dropped your college freshman off at school a thousand miles away, it takes some time to get used to big changes. There are many adjustments to make when your teen heads to a new school or experiences a significant change… adjustments both for teens and parents.  I want to encourage you to allow time for things to settle a bit on their own. For a little while you may need to get comfortable with your feet firmly planted in midair.

William Bridges has done breakthrough work on the topic of transition and has written several books about the topic. (more…)