Parenting Tips 365

How to Make a Breast Milk Popsicle: Natural Remedy For Teething Pain

MamaWendy — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 16:09:00 +0000

My little girl is now 7 months old and still toothless – but not for long. While she has been teething for months, I think we have hit the acute stage and are expecting a tooth to push through any day. That also means she has been extra cranky. I thought back to my previous article on natural remedies for teething pain and decided to make her some breast milk popsicles.

Why make breast milk popsicles?

The frozen breast milk helps sooth the sore gums and ease the pain from teething.
My baby has not started solid foods yet so this provides something cold to chew on without introducing other foods before we’re ready. (See the reasons to delay starting solid food.)

Here is how you do it:

Pump or express breast milk.
Pour breast milk into ice cube tray (preferably BPA free). If the ice cubes are large, only fill 1/3 or 1/2 full with breast milk.
Once frozen, remove one breast milk cube and place into mesh feeder bag.
Give to baby and watch them enjoy it!

Links to supplies:

What other natural teething remedies have worked for your baby? Leave a comment and share!

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Cheap Fun: Entertainment and Activities for Preschoolers for $1

MamaWendy — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:41:09 +0000

Does your preschooler need a break from his toys?

Need some activities for your kids to do while you make dinner (besides watching TV)?

Need another indoor activity for bad weather days?

Are you frugal like me and don’t want to spend a lot of money?

I have a few neat activities that just might be the solution for you and your preschooler. I went to our local dollar store and found three items that ended up providing MANY hours of entertainment for our four year old son:

box of toothpicks
bag of marshmallows

Total cost: $2

Toothpicks and Marshmallows: Building Creativity

Give a preschooler some toothpicks and marshmallows and you have yourself an open-ended creativity session. This is a fun activity to do with your child. Your child might be able to do this by themselves, with supervision of course.

I sat down with my son and we worked together to build parking lots for his cars, buildings that were several stories tall, race tracks, ladders, and random shapes.

When he plays with toothpicks and marshmallows at the table by himself, it freed me up to do other things in the kitchen (like make dinner). I call that a win-win situation!

Of course there was plenty of materials (marshmallows and toothpicks) left over to be used on another day, so the price is really right!

What other cheap and fun activities do your kids like to do? Leave a comment and share!

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Easy Way You Can Teach Your Child to Read (100 Lessons)

MamaWendy — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:38:58 +0000

A few months ago I started teaching our 4.5 year old son to read! After hearing about the book Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons from a friend, I purchased it and then did nothing with it for quite awhile; life got busy with the end of my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter. And honestly, I was a bit intimidated to try it. But recently I found a way to actually start using the book with my 4.5 year old son.

He has been showing signs of being ready to read for quite awhile. He knew all his letters and the sounds they make when he was two years old. Back then, he was even able to write some basic letters. It was so cute! But I didn’t know what I could do to help him read, until I was told about this book.

Features of the Book

Here are some of the book features:

100 lessons
Uses Distar® orthography, which initiates early instruction
Appropriate for preschool children and children in school but who have not learned to read yet
Parent script provided, expected student responses mentioned, and ways to correct if necessary
Parent’s guide (about 22 pages at the beginning) that explains system and how to correctly follow it, pronunciation guide, and writing chart.
Includes story and picture comprehension and writing

Benefits of the Book

Here are some of the benefits of the book, from my perspective as a mom:

Little time required: I love that each lesson only takes about 20 minutes. This is very doable for me in my busy life; and great for my son. (We finished some of the early lessons in five minutes.)
No thinking of what to say: I love that they actually provide a script of exact wording the parent should use to present the material, and it’s printed in red ink. This takes away any extra work I might need to do.
Anyone can do it: I am not a teacher yet it’s been easy for me to sit down and work through these lessons with my son. Logical and structured lessons make it easy.
It really works: It’s been amazing to me to see how the lessons progress from such basic beginnings to actually provide results. You can see how far my son came by lesson 33 – and we still have a ways to go!

Here is a video of our son reading the story from lesson 33:

If you can’t see the video, click here.

We are currently on lesson 56 and it’s been such a great experience that I wish we would have started sooner! We do one lesson every day; they recommend not skipping any days. Over the Christmas break we did skip a few days here and there and I could tell it was a bit harder to come back to it.

To provide a little extra motivation on the second half of lessons, I put a few stickers on random lessons. When we get to a lesson that has a sticker, my son gets to pick a new book (that I already purchased). I found some reader books on his current favorite topic: sharks.

I will be providing follow-up videos and updates as we progress. I can say that it’s been so rewarding to see him actually read, and to know that I helped him!

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Mom! Dad! Don’t Forget! (Guest Post)

MamaWendy — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 03:58:07 +0000

Since the birth of our daughter 3 months ago, I have been taking a break from the blog – a bit longer one than I had planned. I still want to provide interesting and insightful articles on my blog in the meantime. I will have guest posts from various bloggers, as well as posts by me when I have some time to write. Thanks for understanding. —MamaWendy

This guest post comes from a good personal friend of mine named Pamela who blogs at The Ripple.

Mom! Dad! Don’t Forget!

Remember what it felt like the first time you were out after dark without your parents? How it exciting it was when you had your first hit in tee-ball? What about how absolutely terrifying your nightmares were? The feeling you had when you first drove the family car all by yourself, legally? The butterflies in your belly on your first date? That crazy bike crash when you broke your arm and that incredible pain? Being so excited for Santa to come that you couldn’t sleep?

No? Not until I just reminded you? You’re not alone.

So many of those firsts, so amazing and alive when we experienced them, are faded and dim. They’re there, for sure, but they’re buried deep under all the stuff we’ve experienced and learned and endured as we’ve done what Peter Pan never wanted to do. Grow up.

As parents, we recognize how very fragile and vulnerable our children are, how absolutely in our care they are. We nurture and guide them, teach them and hope for them. We protect them fiercely, knowing what we do about the dangers of this world. But to some degree we do them a substantial disservice.

We have forgotten. As we have grown and begun our own families, a mild amnesia has set in and we have forgotten those magical, horrible, painful, blissful memories of our own childhoods.

When your child is creating art on his own and wants to show you each and every line and color, do you lose your patience? Or do you remember when you were doing the very same thing, desperate for the approval of the people you revered above all else, your Mom and Dad? When your child is freshly pressed and dressed, ready for the important family occasion, and suddenly notices how completely irresistible the puddle in the driveway is, do you see a delay in the outing or do you remember the countless rainy days you spent puddle-jumping? When your teenager is doing her hair for the fourth time in preparation for her first real date, are you exasperated or are you sitting in your favorite chair with a glass of wine, reliving the exciting nervous promise of your first date? So many examples!

I think, as Moms and Dads, we have such responsibility for our children’s well-being and safety that we no longer allow ourselves the luxury of remembering our firsts. I think too that we remember much more clearly the painful hurts of growing up and we want above all else to shield our children from those experiences. Trouble is, forgetting so much of what we went though takes away a tool that we can use to help our children navigate the tricky waters of growing up.

It takes a lot of faith, strength and love to keep those memories close at hand in order to share them with your kids. And of course, the brain knows what it’s doing when it helps you bury memories. But keeping those events of your youth close at hand, and having the faith to let go a little, is a gift your children will appreciate throughout their entire lives, especially as they become parents themselves someday.

Photo copyright Natalie Harding (www.natalieharding.com)

The next time your son or daughter comes flying into the freshly cleaned house covered in mud, dying to show you the frog in their grimy hands, hit the pause button. Just for a second, think about how you may have done that very thing. Think, just for a split second, about the fact that your child is so excited to show you this treasure and how in the not-too-distant-future that won’t be the case. Maybe spare a few minutes to really check that froggy out while you gently steer your muddy kid back outside. Kiss him or her on the sweaty, stinky head and remember your first slimy treasure.

When your child gets their heart broken in two, whether it’s by their first love or the coach who cut them from the basketball team, spare a few minutes. Sit near them, hug them if they’ll let you, share a snack and your memories with them. Although it means reliving something difficult, the bond you strengthen with them is something they’ll always remember, especially when their children have a similar experience.

When your young adult gets into trouble, as they often do while they’re learning and growing, think back to your wild youth. Just because you are in a position of power or responsibility now doesn’t mean you never stole a street sign or had a beer before you were legally allowed to. Be strong, be firm, but be honest and share the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

Remembering our childhood can be beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. Having the strength, honesty and faith to share our memories with our kids and help them along the way can be a powerful way of demonstrating just how much we truly love and care for them. It’s a ripple you can begin today, and watch spread through the next generations.

Pamela is the mother of two grown children. She is also a massage therapist and artist. Her new creative ripple, as she says, is designing and creating unique zombie dolls. You can check them out on her Facebook page, Fiddleheads and Chaos. And don’t forget to check out her blog The Ripple.

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Our Sweet Daughter Has Arrived!

MamaWendy — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 13:00:53 +0000

Hello readers!

Just wanted to take a moment (finally) to let you know that our little girl was born at home on September 8, 2011! Yes, it’s taken me 6 weeks to get this announcement out to you; sorry about that! We are all happy, healthy, and only a little sleep deprived! Needless to say life is crazy and if you haven’t noticed, I will be taking a short break from writing on my blog.

In my absence I do hope to have several guest bloggers writing interesting content for you to read – stay tuned!

In the meantime, here are a few photos of our new family, her birth slideshow (below), and birth story for you to read. And some of my previous articles on midwives, homebirth, and natural childbirth.

Have any of you birthed at home or with a midwife? Leave a comment and share!

shortly after birth

big brother loves his sister!

us with our midwife

our new family, taken about 3 weeks after birth

We hired a birth photographer to document our special moment and we couldn’t be happier with the results!

Sneak peek at some photos (if you just have a minute)
Birth slideshow set to music (if you have a few more minutes)

Curious about midwives and homebirth? Read some of my previous articles on the topics:

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Easy Way to Get Cheap Pregnancy Tests for Less Than 25 Cents Per Test

MamaWendy — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 13:00:06 +0000

When planning a pregnancy, one can end up using many, many pregnancy tests. Whenever there is the question of “Am I?” the answer is to often go “pee on a stick” (or POAS, as some like to abbreviate). Doing this several times a day, for several days, and possibly several months (if conception doesn’t occur right away) can mean spending big bucks on the standard pregnancy tests you find in drugstores. Prices for those tests can range from $4/test up to $11/test or more, especially of you get the fancy digital ones. You could end up spending hundreds of dollars!

Cheap and Accurate Pregnancy Tests

I wanted to tell you about some cheap pregnancy tests that are extremely accurate. I’ve used these simple tests with both of my pregnancies and was able to confirm a positive result around 10 days past ovulation (DPO). Of course individual results can vary. The little tests strips I bought are FDA approved with a sensitivity level of 20 mIU/ml, which is more sensitive than most other pregnancy tests, and an accuracy of over 99%. I paid around 60 cents per test for mine, but I found some on Amazon.com even cheaper; you can get these pregnancy test strips for about 21 cents per test! You heard me right; isn’t that awesome!?

pregnancy test strip and a urine collection cup (purchased separately)

How It Works

Each test strip is individually wrapped. The one drawback (if you can even call it that) is that these are not midstream tests; you do have to collect urine in a cup. You then dip the stick into the urine up to a marked line on the strip. Results are to be read within 10 minutes; I usually saw results within a few minutes, sometimes within 30 seconds. A positive result is two lines, a negative result is one line (the test line).

To collect the urine you can use those small disposable cups, although if you have something you can use over and over it would help out the environment!

positive result (two lines)

Where to Buy

I found these Wondfo pregnancy test strips on Amazon.com that look exactly like the ones I used – and they are cheaper!

So, do you like spending $10/test? Or would you rather spend 21 cents per pregnancy test? If you are needing pregnancy tests, try these out!

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Our Sweet Daughter Has Arrived!

Book Review: Soul to Soul Parenting, A Guide to Raising a Spiritually Conscious Family

MamaWendy — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 13:00:12 +0000

Nonjudgment. Tolerance. Gratitude. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Joy.

As parents, we want to teach these values to our children but are often so busy with daily life that finding time for it remains low on a priority list and often doesn’t happen. We also desire deeper connections, perhaps spiritual connections, with our family and that also can get put on the back burner.

Are you needing a little nudge in the right direction? I was in the same boat as you – until recently.

Soul to Soul Parenting

For awhile I’ve been wanting to do *something* to create deeper bonds within my family, but I felt overwhelmed and didn’t know how to go about it. Out of the blue, I was fortunate enough to receive a copy of the book Soul to Soul Parenting: A Guide to Raising a Spiritually Conscious Family by Annie Burnside. This was the sign I needed. After reading the book I came away not only motivated to start creating deeper connections with my family, but armed with some solid ideas, tools, and skills.

What is “Soul to Soul” Parenting?

Annie encourages us to interact with everyone (including our children) “soul to soul” instead of “role to role”. For example:

Instead of “parent to child”, it’s “soul to soul”
Instead of “teacher to student”, it’s “soul to soul”
Instead of “doctor to patient”, it’s “soul to soul”

By seeing others as souls first the nature of your interaction changes, becoming more loving, compassionate, and joyful. To me, the concept of “soul to soul” reminds me of namaste: ‘the light in me sees the light in you’.

What is a “Spiritually Conscious” Family?

According to the book, a spiritually conscious family is not a perfect one but rather a wide-awake family; one that is fully aware of each individual’s capacity to shape their reality.

OK, but what does that mean?

To me, being ‘conscious’ in daily life means not going about our lives on auto pilot. When situations occur, if you are conscious/present/mindful you will react with some thought and purpose, keeping the concept of “soul to soul” in the forefront and choosing your actions accordingly – instead going with an automatic reaction without thought.

Conscious parenting involves bringing your children to a deeper understanding of large universal concepts such as self-love, true joy, authenticity, free will, and compassion.

No matter your family’s current religious affiliation, Soul to Soul Parenting hopes to model what it means to live mindfully and consciously in a hectic world. Annie provides many ways to incorporate spirituality into family life, so that we can start to see beyond appearances and words and truly acknowledge another’s validity. What a great way to see our children – and how great to start teaching them at a young age to see others this way as well.

What’s Inside the Book?

Soul to Soul Parenting encourages us, as parents, to take ownership and become the spiritual leaders of our family. Using principles learned from her own journey of self discovery, her family, and her professional experience providing spiritual insight and support, Annie provides the following techniques in her book:

Soul to Soul Parenting Vehicles: Used to integrate spirituality into daily family life, there are 22 Parenting Vehicles listed for you to reshape and use how you choose in order to invite a new awareness into your family’s life. A few of the vehicles are: family discussions, visual cues, family rituals, intuitive-gratitude journal, meditation, exploring music, art, books, showing your spirit, and utilizing nature.

Soul to Soul Parenting Spiritual Themes: There are 15 Spiritual Themes which are meant to broaden perspectives so that life can be viewed from multiple angles, allowing the interconnectedness of all things to be felt and observed. A few of the themes are: connectedness and boundaries, presence and openness, authenticity and joy, forgiveness, self-love, truth and perception, gratitude and appreciation, and trust and faith.

After each Spiritual Theme there are some tools for integrating it into your family, such as:

parent contemplation questions
specific activities
a list of related books for all ages (picture books, chapter books, and adult books)
a list of related movies
a list of related songs

To get a greater sense of the book, watch this short two minute trailer featuring author Annie Burnside discussing what the book is about:

If you can’t view the video, click here.

I also encourage you to visit her website www.annieburnside.com where you will find some great information such as another description of the book, family discussion topics, and many of her published articles.

My Thoughts

This book came into my life at the right time. Its messages were just what I wanted to hear and were written in my kind of language. While initially expecting it to be strictly geared towards how to impart this wisdom to children, I was pleasantly surprised to realize that a lot of the book was teaching me these concepts. After all, I will need to know about these ideas if I want to share them with my family. She explains each concept in depth, and then shares ways to teach it to your children.

I really loved the reminders to live with authenticity and joy. I think that’s what I need most in my life right now – to crank up the JOY! And not that I needed it, but I feel Annie gave me permission to do just that. What a great new way to see my life!

As a Unitarian Universalist, I was thrilled with how much this book spoke my language of the interconnectedness of all things and acceptance of everyone’s own spiritual journey. And I know that other Unitarian Universalist parents out there would feel the same way.

What Age to Start?

After reading the book and getting fired up to start this new spiritual journey, I became confused about how to start with my own family. My son is only 4 years old and I didn’t really know how to even begin to talk about some of the themes mentioned in the book. I asked Annie for some advice and she was kind enough to share even more pearls of wisdom – and I want to share some of that with you as well.

Any age is fine to start. With young children, Annie suggests using picture books and kid’s songs a lot by sharing together during family discussion and choosing one theme. Keep in mind that at this age discussions might be only three minutes long. Also, visual cues can be started very early; for example a cute note that says “I Love Myself” on a closet door.

Annie reminded me that in the beginning a big part of this journey is simply making time together for this purpose a priority. Eventually you just begin infusing a little bit here and there as the whole family becomes comfortable with the language. The biggest step is the parents making a conscious choice to engage in personal growth and spiritual development and then it evolves rather naturally for the whole family in tandem.

Non-Denominational

Soul to Soul Parenting is not designed for one specific religious group. While the spiritual themes are non-denominational, some of them might not resonate with certain religious groups. With all the themes, Annie encourages you to explore the ones that fit your family’s evolving spirituality. I think the themes and the overall message of the book can be applied in any family of any faith tradition, adapting them to your specific beliefs if necessary.

Who Would Most Benefit From Soul to Soul Parenting?

Parents wanting to create deeper family bonds
Parents who want ideas for teaching these themes to their children
Parents with a world view who want guidance as they create spiritual connections with their family

Where to Buy the Book?

You can find Soul to Soul Parenting on Amazon.com. I’ve also added it to my Amazon.com store in the ‘Books for Parents’ category.

Annie Burnside, M.Ed., is a soul nurturer, author, public speaker, and teacher specializing in conscious relationships and spiritual development. She also writes a family consciousness column for Evolving Your Spirit Magazine and blogs for the Chicago Tribune Media Company under Soul to Soul Perspective: A Little Bit of Soul Goes a Long Way. Annie also hosts a radio show for the “I’m Thankful Network.” She received her Masters degree in Education from DePaul University and lives in Chicago, Illinois with her husband and three children. www.annieburnside.com

[Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the author. With that being said, the comments and opinions above are purely my own.]

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Videos for Expanding Children’s Horizons: Poetry and Yoga

MamaWendy — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 13:00:04 +0000

It is HOT here in Texas and so we spend most of our summer afternoons indoors. We have activities to do but sometimes we just want a video to watch, and we don’t always want the “zone out” videos that don’t have special value.

Are you looking for some quality videos for your kids when you are stuck inside due to weather (be it extreme heat of the summer, like here in Texas right now, or the bitter cold of deep winter)? I wanted to share a couple videos I like that I feel bring a little more exposure to other areas of life, sort of expanding my son’s horizons so to speak.

Classical Baby: The Poetry Show

Since we don’t have cable or satellite, I wasn’t even aware of the Classical Baby shows on HBO until one day when I saw the Classical Baby: The Poetry Show video at our local library. I decided to check it out for our then 2 year old son.

The Poetry Show is a compilation of favorite poems from William Shakespeare, Robert Louis Stevenson, John Keats, Robert Frost, Woodie Guthrie, Gertrude Stein, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Langston Hughes. Most of the poems are recited by famous personalities such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Susan Sarandon, Andy Garcia, John Lithgow, and others; William Carlos Williams reads his own poem “This is Just to Say”. Adding to the greatness is colorful animation and music as well as footage of real elementary age children discussing poetry. I was amazed by these children and the depth of their thoughts!

Not being a big poetry fan myself, I was curious what the show would be like for our young son. I was pleasantly surprised when he was GLUED to it and absolutely loved it! After watching it several times, he could almost recite the entire poem “Grassy Grass Grass” by Woodie Guthrie (which happened to be my favorite one on the show). He loved it when he was 2 and he still likes watching it now (he’s 4).

This is definitely a recommended video to introduce your child to the world of poetry and all it offers. I know if left to me, my son would not have had this preliminary knowledge about poetry. And I have to admit that I developed a new respect and appreciation for poetry and I really liked all of it! If poetry was presented this way when I was in school, I might have had a different appreciation for it all my life.

My only complaint is that I wish the video were longer, or that they made more volumes of “Poetry Shows” featuring more poems and poets.

Although I have not seem them, there are other videos in the series: Classical Baby 3-Pack – Music, Art & Dance.

The Music Show features an animal orchestra playing Tchaikovsky, Bach, Mozart and Copland, plus many other great classical composers.
The Art Show features some of the world’s greatest works of art accompanied by some great classical music. The exhibit features works by Monet, Degas, Pollock, Van Gogh, plus many other masterpieces.
The Dance Show features animals dancers showing impressive moves inspired by George Balanchine, Martha Graham, Pilobolus, plus many other great choreographers.

YogaKids Ages 3-6 (Vol. 2 ABCs)

Having heard great things about this video and wanting to bring some form of exercise to our son, I bought this Yoga Kids video a few years ago.

The video features the instructor, Marsha Wenig, and a group of children outside in various scenic locations with their yoga mats. Starting with the letter ‘A’, a topic is introduced (often with additional information) and then the related pose is demonstrated and performed. You get to see the instructor do the pose as well as the children. For example, A is Alligator and there is a very brief intro showing an alligator followed by instructions and demonstration on how to do the “alligator” pose.

The instructor’s voice is very calm and soothing and her manner of speaking to the children is perfect (she does not “talk down” to them). The overall vibe is very positive throughout the video, as would be expected in a yoga video. The pace is just right, the poses are child-friendly (of course) and creative and vary between standing, sitting, and laying down poses. My son is all about cars so he loves the “D” move: driving! I was super impressed by the entire video.

My son was not quite 3 when we first tried this and he didn’t take to it right away. So I put it away for a few months and tried it later. He enjoyed it and got maybe halfway through it before his short attention span overcame him. Now that he’s older he can make it even farther through the video. He likes it and attempts most of the moves. We do it together and that makes it more fun for him – and great for me, too!

Depending on your child, they may not be ready for this right at age 3, or they may be ready at age 2 – you never know! Keep trying and I’m sure you will one day find them loving this, too! What a great family activity for promoting exercise.

Although we only have Volume 2 (ABCs) here are all the videos in the series:

********************************************************

What other videos do you like that would “expand horizons”? Leave a comment and share!

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Demystifying Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth Part 3: Who Chooses Midwifery Care?

MamaWendy — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 13:00:21 +0000

With 99% of US births occurring in hospitals with OB surgeons attending and 86% of laboring women receiving drugs for pain relief (epidurals) you may not personally know anyone who has chosen to have a natural childbirth with a midwife attending (either in a free-standing birth center or at home). But we are out there – and our numbers are slowly increasing.

Home Births on the Rise

The number of home births in the United States rose 20% over four years (2004-2008). While still a small percentage (fewer than 1 percent of U.S. births occur at home) that is an indication of a natural birth trend. More and more women are choosing the care of a midwife and opting for natural childbirth. Why? Women are educating themselves about birth.

As a result of this natural birth trend there are many women who want a natural childbirth, but will only consider birthing in a hospital. Having a natural childbirth in a hospital can be very difficult to achieve with the current medical model of birthing that hospitals, OBs, and nursing staff follow. Unfortunately many pregnant women who want a natural childbirth in a hospital will not end up with one, for a variety of reasons.

Who Uses a Midwife for Natural Childbirth?

There is a small percentage of those pregnant women who *really* want a natural childbirth and realize their best option for success is to have a midwife attend their birth. But who are these women? Why do they choose to birth this way?

Misconceptions About Women Who Choose Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth

Before we discuss who chooses midwife-supported natural childbirth, I want to share with you some common misconceptions about women who use midwives:

Only poor people use midwives.
Only people without insurance use midwives.
Only hippie freaks and uber crunchy people use midwives.
Women who want to give birth in a hut in the woods use midwives.
Only religious fundamentalists use midwives.
Women who are ignorant about birth safety use midwives.
Women who love pain use midwives.

Refuting the Misconceptions

The cost of a typical birth at home is usually less than half of that of a normal, uncomplicated birth in the hospital. This does make home birth, or birth in a birth center with a midwife, more available to people of all income levels. However, people with plenty of money still opt for care from midwives (for many of the reasons below) and many midwives accept insurance.

Women who choose care with a midwife tend to be more informed about childbirth options compared with women receiving care from a medical doctor. Women who choose care with a midwife come from all backgrounds, beliefs, and walks of life. Many well educated women, doctors, lawyers, and minister’s wives, nurses, teachers, homeschoolers, and stay-at-home moms choose home birth.

I doubt women choose natural childbirth because they “love pain” any more than women who choose to do other painful things such as tattoos, piercings, breast enhancement, plastic surgery, or wearing uncomfortable shoes, as Ina May Gaskin, famous US midwife, mentions in her book Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. We are not crazy, martyrs, or masochists; just people who know about the benefits of natural birth. I did not choose my comfort during labor as the most important aspect of childbirth; I know pain is part of the process. But I worked with my body and the pain, accepted it, and did not fear it. That makes a huge difference in how painful the experience can be.

me at 37 weeks with my first child

Our story: My college degree is in Electrical Engineering, as is my husband’s. For the birth of our first child (in a free-standing birth center with a midwife attending) my insurance plan covered everything (prenatal appointments, lab work, ultrasound, birth, etc.) except a small deductible. (Getting them to “remember” that midwife coverage was in my plan is another story. But insurance companies are just frustrating like that, aren’t they?)

For this baby’s birth, we are using the same midwives at the birth center but are choosing a home birth. We now have a private insurance plan that does not cover maternity care so we are paying for all birth expenses ourselves.

The Women Who Choose Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth

Here are some of the reasons that I’ve been able to put together to help shed light on why women choose midwife-supported natural childbirth:

Women who want their birth honored as sacred and normal
me and my 10 day old son
Women who trust that their bodies know how to have babies
Women who don’t want unnecessary interventions, over medicalized childbirth, and its consequences
Women who want to reclaim something that was taken away from them (empowerment)
Women who want to take an active role in their prenatal care
Women who want to be heard by their health care provider and work as a team
Women who want to be the primary decision-maker in their pregnancy and birth
Women who want more control over their bodies
Women who want more control over what happens to their babies after birth
Women who want to make decisions regarding their body and their baby (instead of doctors or hospital policy)
Women who don’t want to be separated from their babies
Women who want their desires and wishes treated as normal
Women who have had an unpleasant experience with a hospital birth
Women who want a woman-centered birth
Women who want more nurturing
Women who want more time and attention from their health care provider
Women who prefer the holistic nature of natural childbirth
Women who want peace, quiet, and respect for their birth
Women who want to birth in a comfortable, private setting (birth center or home)
Women who want their family (partner and children) involved and present at appointments and the birth
Women whose religious beliefs prohibit them from using male doctors for childbirth
Women who wish to develop longer-term relationships with those who attend their baby’s birth
Women who see pregnancy not just a means to an end, but a journey of transformation: from a woman to a mother, from a couple to a family

For more reasons, and some interesting thoughts, check out this article on “Why Choose a Midwife?”

Midwife-Attended Births World Wide

Over 70% of births in the world are attended by midwives. In Europe as a whole, 75% of births have midwives as the care provider. Most of the countries with better statistics have one thing in common-midwives attend the majority of births.

In the Netherlands, midwives are the primary care providers for all low-risk pregnant women. Women who are at increased risk for complications are placed into “secondary care” with obstetricians.

Midwife-Attended Births in the United States

In 2003, approximately 8.0% of births in the United States were attended by midwives, more than double the 1990 rate of 3.9%. In six states (Alaska, Georgia, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Oregon, and Vermont), rates were at least twice as high as the national rate.

Would They Do it Again?

If you ask women who have had a natural birth with a midwife if they would do it again, I bet most (if not all) would say yes. It’s not because they love pain, it’s because they’ve discovered the feeling of empowerment. It was there all along, they just needed to tap into it.

And that’s what it’s all about: feeling empowered by your choice.

Our new family, minutes after birth

What were your reasons for choosing natural childbirth with a midwife? Please leave a comment and share!

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Natural Childbirth Books for Children: AP Topics of Home Birth, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Co Sleeping

MamaWendy — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 13:00:20 +0000

If you are pregnant and planning to have a home birth with a midwife, or perhaps are planning to practice the Attachment Parenting (AP) approaches to child rearing such as breastfeeding, baby wearing, and co-sleeping, you may be having a hard time finding books to read to your older children in order to prepare them. Most children’s books about pregnancy, birth, and babies are written for the more common practices of hospital birth and formula or bottle feeding.

Well look no further; I’ve found a couple books that will provide great information to your older child about home birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, and co-sleeping.

Welcome With Love

Welcome With Love by Jenni Overend and Julie Vivas tells the story of a family on birthing day, awaiting the home birth of their newest member. This book will be a welcome addition to read to your older children to prepare them for the sights and words that accompany a home birth.

Included throughout the story are many aspects of birth that are common with home birth and that are probably not shown in books depicting birth in a hospital.

What you might see during labor (mom going for a walk to help labor along, mom leaning on dad during labor)
What you might hear during labor (mom making loud noises every few minutes)
A midwife comes to the house to assist the birth
Mention of items that midwife brings (oxygen in case it’s needed)
Illustration of birth scene which involves nude mother standing and leaning on dad, baby’s head emerging from mom with midwife ready to receive the baby, other children looking on behind midwife
Illustration of mom on knees (nude) holding baby, umbilical cord still attached and placenta not delivered
Illustration and discussion of breastfeeding
Whole family co-sleeping by fire

What Baby Needs

What Baby Needs by William Sears, M.D., Martha Sear, R.N., and Christie Watts Kelly shares information meant for older siblings about what the new baby will need when they arrive, which are the same things that child needed as a baby. The book provides a page of notes at the beginning for parents and caregivers which I found very helpful. One helpful tip was to refer to the child as the “older brother/sister” instead of “big brother/sister”.

The book also has a page at the end of the book that contains information about attachment parenting as well as several resources (websites and books).

Here’s how the book shares the “Five Baby Bs” of attachment parenting tools:

Birth bonding: Skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding are mentioned as well as illustrated.
Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is mentioned as the way babies eat and is shown with a lovely illustration. They also mention baby getting mommy’s milk from a bottle if mommy is away.
Baby wearing: Also discussed is how babies need to be held and one way is by using a baby carrier. There are three illustrations showing baby wearing and two of them show the dad wearing the baby!
Be flexible with sleeping arrangements: The book illustrates a baby sleeping in a co-sleeper near the bed because they need to be close to Mommy’s heartbeat.
Belief in value of crying: A baby’s language is crying and it’s mentioned how important it is to respond quickly to a baby’s cries.

The book also has small boxes on some pages that share ways for the older child to become involved and help or that help the older child bond with the baby.

What I personally really loved was that there was no mention of feeding the baby formula at all! This was important to me since we exclusively breastfeed and I wanted a book that exclusively shows breastfeeding/breast milk. As you know, this is hard to find in most baby books. (In the notes section at the beginning of the book the author encourages you to change the text to fit the choices you make in your family.)

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What home birth, natural birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, co sleeping books have you found? Please leave a comment and share with us!

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