{I usually post the Swede Home Alabama updates on TeriLynneU.com but since I’m doing my 31 Days of Joy: a Journey through Philippians series this month, I thought I’d post them here instead.}

My girls

We’re a month into Swede Home Alabama, otherwise known as being a host family for a sweet 18-year-old Swedish exchange student.   In some ways I can’t believe it’s already been a month but for the most part, it feels like Johanna has always been with us.

Here’s a brief recap of the past few weeks:

1. Getting two girls up and out the door by 7:30 am is a challenge but so far no one has been tardy!  I consider that a great accomplishment.     Neither of them are particularly morning people but, thankfully, neither is too grumpy upon waking.
2. Teenagers do not like to be told, “No.”  We had a situation arise where we did not allow Johanna to do something she had asked.  There were tears and frustration … on both sides.
3. We have a very well-raised young lady living in our home with us!  Though she did not like the answer we gave her, she was not disrespectful or unkind.   And, after talking with both Scott and me, while she did not agree with us, she did not sulk or pout or generally make life miserable.   We certainly credit her parents for the maturity and character she displayed!!
4. Eleven isn’t going to last forever … or so Johanna assures us!  When I feel like I’m at the end of my rope with my girl, Johanna is quick to say that she was moody and emotional and frustrating at that age as well.   I’m thankful for the perspective. 
5. Taking the girls to school and picking them up is a great thing!  Seeing their smiles as they head to the car assures me that we’ve created a safe place for both of them in our home.
6. It’s okay for us to do things without Johanna.  We’ve been out to eat a couple of times and she’s chosen to stay home.  I suppose I really thought she’d do everything with us … but she hasn’t.  And that is just fine.  She needs some time to herself and we need some time with just our girl.
7. She’s made some friends at church and we’re really thankful for that!   Coming from such a different background, especially regarding church, we were concerned that she would not connect with anyone in the youth group.  But she has … and that has made a big difference in how she relates to the whole “church experience.”
8. Keeping the lines of communication open is the key!   About school, about church, about the Bible, about meals, about schedules, about everything … asking questions and just being around when she wants to talk has helped us develop real relationship with Johanna.
9. She doesn’t like Krispy Kremes but she has learned to like sweet tea.   If you don’t live in the south, you might not understand the signficance of those two things.   The first gives us great concern … the latter is such a relief! 
10. We’ve invited her into our home and into our lives … and we choose to accept her, just as she is!  We know it’s not our job to “get her saved” or change her opinion of Christianity.   It is however our responsibility to love her and encourage her in what she’s doing … and to live our lives in the most authentic and honest way we can.

We are having a great time with Johanna … and I’ll be sharing more about how having her in our home has been such a positive experience for our girl.   If you have never considered hosting an exchange student, I highly recommend you pray about it.   We’ve been blessed immeasurably already by our experience.   If you are interested in more information, please let me know in the comments and I’ll connect you with International Student Exchange, the nonprofit that coordinated our host family experience.

Do you have any questions for me or Johanna or even our 11-year-old daughter about being a host family or an exchange student?   Leave us a comment … we’d love to put together a post to answer your questions.

linking up with Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday

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ISE is graciously sponsoring my attendance at three conferences over the next several months.  I’m working with them to encourage others to consider becoming a host family for an exchange student.   However, I’ve promised them I’d be completely honest in sharing about both the joys and the challenges of doing so. 

{I apologize for the missing Spiritual Disciplines post yesterday … life happened!  We’ll look at the Discipline of Celebration next week!}

This is Esther Burroughs, 74-year-old mother and grandmother and possibly one of the wisest women I have ever encountered.   Her heart is filled with joy and when she shares from her life, she is open, funny, and transparent.   If you ever have the opportunity to hear Mrs. Esther speak … do it!

I attended her breakout session titled, “Creating a Spiritual Legacy,” while at the dotMom conference.   And it was amazing!

Using Proverbs 3:5-6 as her focal passage, Mrs. Esther challenged us all to to ask ourselves this question:

Am I passing the baton, the Word of God, faithfully to the generation behind me?

She reminded us that our legacy is simply “my story in God’s story.”   When she began reading from The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name as an illustration of how we can share with our children the beauty of God’s story, she had my undying respect!!

Today, I wanted to share with you a few of the nuggets of wisdom I gained from listening to Mrs. Esther:

• “Take ordinary circumstances in your life and turn them into an opportunity to praise an extraordinary God.”
• “Teach your children to pray.  And when God answers, celebrate with them.”
• “The church assists us in the divine task of teaching our children about God.”
• “Leave a tradition of the open Word of God in your home.”
• “There are all kinds of books on parenting.  But really, girls, all you need is the Bible and time.” {I LOVED THIS!!}
• Pray for that “other mother” in your child’s life … someone else to love him or her but who will see the things you don’t.
• Leave a legacy of prayer!
• Find a mentor!  “Look for a couple who still holds hands and ask that wife to mentor you.”
• Designate one weekend a month, “No one in, no one out.”   Give your family time to breathe.
• Leave a legacy of faithfulness.  Share with your children the faithfulness of God in the Word, in our church, in our homes, in our lives.
• “Live out your story and relate it to your children through His story.”

Such an amazing woman!   I was blessed to listen to her share her heart and her experience.   And, I did look for a couple who still holds hands Sunday.   I have spoken with a woman in our church about praying with me.   Over and over I am reminded how little I know about parenting and how much I need the encouragement of those mothers who are ahead of me on the journey, whose children are grown.

Do you have a mentor?  How could finding someone to pour into your life as mother help you to pour into your children’s lives?

Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the .MOM conference sponsored by Lifeway.  It was hands down the best women’s conference I have ever attended.  Tickets for next year’s event are available now … and I cannot recommend this conference highly enough.   With over 60 (!) breakouts covering everything from Infertility to Parenting Adult Children {and sessions for grandmothers too} AND four incredible main speakers, .MOM is an opportunity for all mothers to be encouraged and challenged.

{That commercial was free ... Lifeway does not have a clue how much I'm pushing this event! LOL}

In case you are thinking I’m speaking in hyperbole, here are my top ten takeaways from the .MOM conference.

1. Motherhood is beautifully devastating.  ~ Angie Smith {I shared more from Angie’s session on my blog yesterday.}
2. God gives you children to prune you, to help you understand life is not about happiness … it is about holiness.  ~ Esther Burroughs {I’ll be sharing more wisdom from this incredible 74-year-old mom and grandmother on Thursday here on Parenting from the Overflow.}
3. We tend to focus on behavior modification instead of heart examination.  ~ Vicki Courtney {From the Parenting Teens panel which was just incredible!}
4. They’ll hear your words when they know you’ve heard their hearts.  ~ Catherine Hickem {More from the Parenting Teens panel.  I’ll be recapping Catherine’s session on Thriving in the Teen Years Friday on TeriLynneU.com.}
5. If you’re not hearing, “You’re the strictest mom in the world!” at least occasionally, then something is wrong. ~ Vicki Courtney {Again from the panel, but I’ll be recapping her main session talk Thursday on TeriLynneU.com.}
6. Your best guide as a parent – the Holy Spirit.  ~ Esther Burroughs {She is just such an inspiration!}
7. Ask your children’s forgiveness.  The gift of grace:  “I’m sorry.  Can we start over?” ~ Esther Burroughs {This, again, from the Parenting Teens panel.}
8. Find a way to get with God in the season you are in.  ~ Angela Thomas {Hers was the first main session … just brilliant!}
9. Learn to care for your soul in the midst of daily life.  ~ Angela Thomas {Powerful reminder that we must be parenting from the overflow of God’s work in our own lives.}
10. Be there!  So that when they are ready to talk, you are already there.  ~ Dedra Herod {Also from the Parenting Teens panel.}

Convinced?   So, so good.  So good, in fact, that I’m using six posts on two blogs this week to recap.  {Check out my recap of Priscilla Shirer’s main session talk today on TeriLynneU.com.}

Did any of these takeaways speak to your heart?   Why?

{Tomorrow … It’s Party Time! {The Discipline of Celebration} as we continue our study of spiritual disciplines for a mother’s heart.}

Last week we began exploring the discipline of submission as it relates to our hearts as mothers.    I’ve mulled over the verses in Ephesians:

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.   Ephesians 5:21

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Ephesians 6:1

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

Last year on my personal blog, I spent several weeks digging into the idea of submission in Ephesians.  We explored what submission looks like between spouses, parents and children, employers and employees.   In the context of that study, I began with the premise that submission begins with a very simple thing:  Being polite.

I’ve caught myself often over the past week being impolite to my daughter.  Honestly, having our exchange student has made me very aware of how I speak to my girl.  Knowing that Johanna is observing us has made me notice all sorts of “little things” in my parenting that are certainly not what God intends.

As I mentioned last week, I’m not implying that we should be in obedience to our children … submission is far more than that.   I’m simply suggesting that we have an obligation to model for our children the fullness of humility.   A large part of submission is tied up in a humble heart … a willingness to lay aside “me.”   Are our children seeing the example of Christ in our lives?  In how we interact with them?  In how we speak to them?  In how we discipline them?

Today, I urge you to take some time and read Philippians 2:5-11.   Ponder what a humble heart looks like and ask the Lord to reveal to you any areas of pride and selfishness is your life, and especially in your parenting.

How have you observed pride and selfishness affect your parenting? 

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Typically, we think of submission in terms of the marriage relationship … but before Paul explains any specific roles and relationships in Ephesians, he begins with an admonition to submit to one another.  Why? Out of reverence for Christ.

Looking at this discipline in the context of parenting and considering Christ’s example, I am reminded of a passage from Matthew’s gospel:

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. {Matthew 19:13-15}

Jesus said not to hinder the children because the kingdom of heaven belongs to them.   I wonder, sometimes, do I hinder my child from coming to Jesus?  From drawing near to Him?   Do my words, my actions, the things I don’t say … do they point her to Him?

As we contemplate submission today – and maybe next week too – I want us to consider if we are parenting from the position of submission or from dominion.   I’m not advocating a laissez-faire, anything goes, approach to parenting.  Nor am I suggesting that we give our children freedoms they are not equipped to manage.   This isn’t about them … it’s about us!

What is in our hearts as we parent?  Are we truly laying ourselves down for our children?  Putting their best interests ahead of our own?  Or are we merely playing the part, creating the image?

Richard Fostersays the freedom that corresponds to submission “is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way.”  (111, emphasis added)

I think that can manifest itself in so many ways … and often we convey our disappointment to our children, giving them the impression that our expectations are more important than they are.

I’m still working through this … still struggling to discern how this discipline of submission relates to being a mom.    Next week, we’ll look at this some more.  In the meantime, what are your thoughts?   Are we called to submit to our children?  What does it look like when we do?  How does laying ourselves down teach our children about the Person of Christ?  How does it affect them when we don’t?   

Perhaps today you need a reminder of the truth that God’s grace is enough.   He promises us that His grace is sufficient {2 Corinthians 12:9}.   Today I’m sharing my heart at MOD Squad about that overflowing grace … and how we mommas need to give grace to ourselves.  Will you join me?  

{Will you welcome my dear friend Stef today?  Stef is the most encouraging person I know and she truly embodies joy!  I knew she’d have some words of wisdom and insight for us on parenting with overflowing joy.   Be sure to check out her blog,Educating {Stef} Layton, for more of this charming wit and wisdom!}

Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. Proverbs 31:25

Remember waaaay back when we started a series on the Spiritual Disciplines as they relate to mothers?

We got two posts in and my life got crazy with moving … but I promised we’d get back to it.  And so, here we are in September and I think it’s time, don’t you?

Wednesdays this month and next we’ll be exploring the classical spiritual disciplines.   Today, however, I thought we might need to revisit the two we’ve already discussed.

• Time Out for Mommy {the Discipline of Solitude}:   Solitude is one of the classic spiritual disciplines … because it requires a retraining of our hearts and minds.  But it is a necessity for our souls. Just as Jesus withdrew from the crowds and even from the disciplines to pray and bask in the presence of God, so too must we learn the discipline of withdrawing.
• Simple Family {the Discipline of Simplicity}:   Our culture will destroy our families. I’m not offering a specific plan for your family because each is so unique.  But here are a few suggestions I have for learning to simplify in your home.

Next Wednesday we’ll be exploring Laying Ourselves Down {the Discipline of Submission}.  And tomorrow, a special treat … a guest post from one of my very favorite people!

I’d love to be a part of encouraging your heart as a mother.  Would you consider subscribing to receive Parenting from the Overflow in your Reader or your email?   You can also connect with other moms who are longing to parent out of the abundance of Christ as a part of our Facebook community.

Much good stuff out there for us mommas!  So, I figured, why not round up a few of my favorites from the past week or so and share them.

1. Meet the Instrument from Everyday Truth:  ”Helping your child navigate the waters of making choices, of finding the best choice when there isn’t necessarily a right one, is tough. Figuring out the best path to take when both choices have benefits and drawbacks requires wisdom and good judgment. Sometimes it takes trial and error. Making a poor choice in one area and dealing with the consequences may keep your child from making the same mistake with bigger stakes when they are older.”
2. Saying Yes from The Better Mom:  ”There was a time in my mothering when I said the word “no” more than anything else to my children.  They were unhappy, I was unhappy.  And I got tired of our relationship suffering from a case of the “not right nows”.  So I started saying yes.”
3. “The Talk” at the MOD Squad Cafe:   Ever wonder how other moms venture into “the talk” … several MOD Squad contributors (including me) share their wisdom.
4. After School Snack Ideas from My Blessed Life:   A yummy collection of snack ideas for the momma (like me!) who seems to be ever at a loss.   Plus great pictures from Pinterest … which is my latest online addiction.  You can check out my boards if you want.
5. Wrap Them in Love from A Holy Experience:  Beauty, again, from Ann Voskamp.  Sandwich wrappers that encourage and point back to the Truth of God’s Word.  Free printable … go now!!
6. For the Weary Mom … There is Hope from MOD Squad:  Two of my favorite mommas and writers (Stacey and Brooke) are teaming up to share hope together.  It’s a MOD Squad/MOB Society collision aimed right at the heart of a momma who is worn and weary and needs to be reminded of the beauty she is in the sight of God.  This momma can’t wait!!
7. Simple Cork Photo Wreath from Centsational Mom:  Looking for a way to display your favorite photos of your children?  I love this!
8. Teaching Them to See the Word of God from MOD Squad:  I know, that makes three posts from MOD Squad, but all of them are amazing.  Such a challenge in this post, “As mother’s we cannot protect them from the world, but we MUST equip them to view the world through the lense of scripture.  The only way for them to gain that type of world view is for them to daily renew their minds (Romans 12:1-2).  We can’t renew their minds for them, but God’s word will not return void (Isaiah 55:11) and He will use it in their lives if they are His.  Our job is to teach them how to study it, rely on it, and work through it.  We can’t do it for them, but can constantly point them to it.”
9. The Breakfast Cheat Sheet from Come, Have a Peace:  Julie is one of my favorite people … and one of the wisest, most grace-filled women I know.  I love this oh-so-practical post about breakfast and the awesome “cheat sheet” download she’s created.
10. {Weekend Challenge} Go For It!  from my personal blog:   Today, as you are reading this post, I’m in a cleaning, preparing, praying frenzy … this evening, we’ll be picking up a lovely 18-year-old Swedish girl who will be living with us this school year.  Be looking for my “Swede Home Alabama” posts both here and on terilynneu.com to keep up with all the lessons we’re learning and fun we’re having (and challenges we’re facing) as we embark on this grand new adventure!  {I’ll also be using #swedehomealabama on Twitter to share our fun!}

Read any great parenting posts lately?  Written one?  Share the links in the comments so we can all glean wisdom from one another!!

The door slams immediately following the eye roll and huffing.   And once again I’m left wondering how we got from, “Will you bring me your dirty laundry?” all the way to, “Mom, I’m not stupid!” with a few interjections of, “Now, please!” and, “I know!!” in between.

Photo via Microsoft ClipArt

Breathing deeply I recite Psalm 127:3 about children being a gift from the Lord and remind myself that eleven doesn’t last forever, choosing to forget that twelve will quickly be followed by teenage years.   In that moment, all I can hear is my mom’s voice saying, “I hope you have a child just like you someday!!”   And my throaty whisper, “Mom, I am so sorry.”

Been there?   If you have a child, I imagine you have been there, are there now, or know “there” is coming back around soon.

So, what’s a momma to do?  

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Join me at Scripture Dig for some truths I’m learning about parenting with purpose and with wisdom.