Ethics And Black Belts

Things I don't want to be

2011-10-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

I've been inspired in martial arts by many people, young and old. I've also noticed a few things I'd like to avoid like a plague. Here are two things I try to avoid, with only partial success:

Fear #1 Too Much Talking, Not Enough Kicking

photo by Joel Ford

You've been in one of those classes, where the instructor just talks and talks and talks and you never quite have a chance to get your martial groove on. I live in fear of being that instructor. I know what I'm thinking as they drone on, and I hope that no one ever thinks that about me.

Sure, sure, we have loads of inspiration and wisdom to share. But actually, they don't really want to hear it right now.
Maybe the trick is to weave those messages INTO the workout. Or... make the workout so challenging that once the students truly need a brief rest, we could use that short break time to impart a piece of our vast knowledge.

I'm positive that I am guilty of excessive speaking in classes, so as soon as I see that glazed-over look on a student, or worse! that tolerant patience from an adult, I try to wrap it up and get the class moving. But what if I don't notice? Then Plan B goes into effect: I have shared this fear with my staff and we have a secret hand sign that they can give if I start getting ponderous.

Fear #2 Becoming an Old Fart

Let me not become so old and crusty that I can't appreciate the skills of the next generation! What is it about senior martial artists that they think their generation are the best and ONLY proper practitioners? Personally, I think it's jealousy. I'm thinking that most of us long-lifers won't be invited to Team Hyper, or whatever those sick freaks are called. And yes, I think everyone knows that those flippy kicks are not practical. Do we really need another lecture about application? I'm certain the people who can do that stuff can also deliver a simple side kick when they need to. I have to accept that my old school jump kicks are just not as cool as a hook-jackknife-sideswipe-butterflytwist-swingthrough gainer (no, I have no idea what that is, I just saw it in a tricking forum).

I get so frustrated reading articles about how no one under 18 should be allowed to earn the rank of black belt. Really? My 4-year-old almost broke my nose in a tickle fight. And in case you haven't been paying attention, martial arts has changed a bit in the past 20 years. Women never used to train either, should they be restricted from earning black belt rank? I mean after all, no way can a woman generate as much power as a man, right? (Don't get me started.)

If you want to go to a knock-em-out, to-the-death academy to earn your "real" black belt, then go on. They are definitely still out there. But don't be pasting your cro-magnon standards onto every martial art out there. Most academies that I know are very up front about their focus, whether it is tournament competition, character development, fitness, families, tradition, the red pill, or tiny tigers. People have legitimate reasons to train in martial arts besides just physical domination.

I do love to trade stories about the ole' days, training outside in the snow in bare feet (I have a friend who actually did that), and sometimes I think these newbies have it easy in some ways. For example, we are no longer allowed to strike students with a stick when they make a mistake. That makes my job harder. But maybe these new-fangled methods have actually made martial arts accessible to a whole new class of students, and I just need to keep up with the action. Word. (that's still hip, right? /sigh)

Pulling rank or Pulling your weight

2011-10-20T16:31:00.001-04:00

If you have to pull rank to get your way, maybe your way isn't all that great. If the only leg you have to stand on is the fact that you are the Master / Sensei / Sifu / whatever, then maybe you should reevaluate your position.

Leadership should make sense, and rules should have some basis in logic. Instructors who run their academies by brute force are the lowest type of fake leaders I know. Insisting on being obeyed, regardless of the validity of one's position, shows weakness rather than strength.

Grandmaster Jhoon Rhee 2011

I am blessed to be part of the Jhoon Rhee International organization. Every year I am amazed by the example that is set by Grandmaster Jhoon Rhee. Quite honestly, it's hard to live up to.

You can find numerous categories of leadership styles online, and most of them agree that autocratic leaders are only fit for intense situations where rapid decisions must be made (like the military, for example). Here's one telling description:

Autocratic leadership is an extreme form of transactional leadership, where a leader exerts high levels of power over his or her employees or team members. People within the team are given few opportunities for making suggestions, even if these would be in the team's or organization’s interest.Most people tend to resent being treated like this. Because of this, autocratic leadership usually leads to high levels of absenteeism and staff turnover. Also, the team's output does not benefit from the creativity and experience of all team members, so many of the benefits of teamwork are lost. (read more)

While that is clearly written toward corporate management styles, I think the point still applies.

As martial arts schools, we claim to "build confidence, improve self-discipline," and offer more lofty promises. So how does asserting my authority through my rank create anything positive for the students? Since most students follow our actions, more than our words, exactly what are we creating when we throw our weight around? We may claim to teach bully prevention, but authority like that just ends up creating more bullies. Students are going to emulate instructors, for better or worse, and we have a responsibility to set an example that will help them move forward in life.

The premise behind higher ranks is that there is a higher level of understanding, and a higher level of purpose. If that purpose is just to make an instructor feel like he is super important, then he's feeding his ego. The standards and protocol in our academies should be public knowledge, and not be affected by whims or bad moods. Everyone should know what to expect, and never be left guessing about proper procedures for graduations, interactions with instructors and other students, or any of the daily workings of our schools.

We talk about the difference between "discipline" and "self-discipline" in our organization. It's a lot harder to teach people how to make the right decisions for themselves, but in the long run that's the only thing that students will take away with them. Discipline only works when someone else is there, watching over a student and making sure they are doing the right thing. Self-discipline actually does create black belts, but only if they see a living example of that on their journey.

So let's stop pulling rank, and start pulling our weight as leaders, both through our example and through our leadership style.

That pedestal is not for you

2011-08-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

Photo by: vichie81

It's so easy in our field to become a dictator. After all, we are the keepers of our tradition, of our standards and we hold the key to belt promotions. We are the heads of our schools and people come to us actually believing that we have knowledge and character beyond the typical person. With all that adoration and respect (which we demand anyway, in the name of discipline), how do we NOT get a fat head?

In martial arts, you hear so much about the importance of being humble and I agree that it is one of the top traits in a great instructor or leader. But how do you know when you are being humble? What does it look like? And when is someone just faking it for the sake of reputation? Humble is a full time job, and doesn't stop when class is dismissed.

It's not just the students looking for a hero to believe in. Even instructors look up the hierarchy for role models and inspiration. I'm not ashamed to say that I really did think my instructors had magical powers. But, if you've been in martial arts for more than 10 years, then I guarantee that someone you used to think was amazing has been revealed to be simply a person. No magic. *gasp* Maybe they even turned out to be not-a-good-person. Maybe YOU are not quite as awesome as you used to think. I know... it's hard to swallow.

So what do we do, then, to avoid being that kind of disappointment to others? First of all, realize that even if someone wants to put you on a pedestal, it's probably best not to jump up there. Come on... how long can you keep up that flawless exterior before someone gets a peak behind the curtain?

Maybe instead of demanding absolute obedience without question, we should offer up that we make mistakes. When we mess up we need to own it. By reacting with grace and honesty when we make mistakes, we demonstrate that it's okay for students to make mistakes, too. I remember all kinds of mistakes I made at my own Black Belt examinations. I may have passed with high marks, but I'm certain I wasn't perfect.

Humble means we realize the students are what make a great academy, not the instructor. That's not just new age fluff, I mean it literally. The next time you look at an outstanding Black Belt and think that you did a wonderful job teaching, remember all the other students who took the exact same classes, but just turned out average, or maybe even quit. So was it you being a great instructor, or was it the student who happened to take what you offered and put it to good use?

Once I realized that, I truly became humbled. It made me work harder to try to inspire more students, but it made me realize it really isn't about me. No matter how many Black Belts I "create" through my teaching, I am still the same person. They change and grow because they put in the hard work. I'm a facilitator, and sometimes I'm a good example, but really it's up to them. I guess longevity counts for something, but I'm pretty sure my side kick doesn't keep getting higher every year.

Focus on the joy, forget about the junk

2011-02-21T19:59:00.001-05:00

It would be easy to make an entire website full of posts about the problems that arise in a martial arts academy (or any small business for that matter), but that wouldn't give a true picture of how we owner/operator types spend our time. I've compiled some mostly-accurate, fully-unsubstantiated statistics about how things really are. Understand that these are ratios only, and can be extrapolated to encompass larger, multi-site operations. Enjoy:

-For every grumpy-butt who complains, there are 22 people who want you to keep doing exactly what you do, 9 who absolutely adore you as a person, 17 would wish they had your life, and 3 who think you're hot.

-Every time you change a product, service or schedule, you make 18 people's lives better and easier.

-The amount of each bill you receive in the mail is equal to 1/5th of the amount of income you'll receive that same day, but only if you do the money dance when you first open it.

-For every day that a staff member messes up, there are at least 19 other days that same month that he didn't mess up.

-Each time you write a pay-check, you immediately wipe the slate clean and you and that staff member are even again.

-Any time a student quits, he makes room for 5 more students who really want to be there.

-Every time you teach a great class, you burn an average of 7,500 calories, per class.

So there you have it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Clearly anyone can see why it is that we keep these small businesses open. You just can't get a return like that from a "normal" job. There is truly no substitute for knowing that you built, and maintain, a fully functioning martial arts academy. All the people who contribute to its success do so because they carry a piece of the same dream that you have, and I can't imagine going to work along side any other team.

No, you may not call me that

2011-01-18T11:56:00.002-05:00

When I was a kid, I only knew grown-ups by their last names, unless they were family and therefore had a title, like Aunt or Uncle. It was always very clear who was in charge and who wasn't. At my daughter's pre-school (which is a completely awesome Montessori school!), the teachers are called "Miss Carol," "Mr. Dave," etc. I find that is a common practice these days.

Now, since I adore my daughter's school, I am not going to question the reasoning behind their titles. It's their system and I follow their rules without hesitation (such a good doobie, I know).

In martial arts academies, however, I believe there should be a different kind of verbal connection. There is a need for some distance between the instructors and the students. And truthfully, the difficulty is not with the children in the classes, it's with the adults.
Think about it... friendship is about comfort, the absence of judgement, relaxed interaction. All of the things we don't want in the classroom. We do have to judge our students' performances as they progress toward Black Belt. We have to push and prod and pressurize students sometimes. And frankly, relaxing is what people do at home, after a great class.

Beyond that practical issue, there's the respect that shows up in a proper title; respect for accomplishment and respect for authority. Doctors deserve their titles. Police Officers deserve their titles. It takes years and years to earn the rank of Master in martial arts, and we bear a fair amount of responsibility for the safety, health and education of our students. I'm thinking we need to get comfortable with requiring the use of our titles.

What's wrong with "Master Mike," or "Sensei Jennifer," then? There's that title, right where it needs to be. I don't know, would you call a successful executive "Mr. Bob"? (Makes me think about the old Saturday Night Live clay-mation skits with Mr. Bill.) The title just loses all impact when it's followed by a first name.

So if this is something new in your academy, how do you make the change? It's easy to do when an Instructor has just reached a new rank themselves, but if you have no "event" to signify a new system in your academy, then you will have to be direct. Starting with your highest ranking classes, simply announce that you are going to institute a more traditional form of address in the academy and you would like their assistance with the adjustment. Explain the new titles, how they apply to everyone, and how they fit into the culture of a martial arts academy.

Of course, then you continue to announce and educate all other ranks during regular class time, for however long it takes. Additionally, printed signage in the academy is a good way to reinforce new policies. It also helps to have fellow staff members address each other with proper titles at all times. And it's always polite to call your adult students by their last names as well. They are, no doubt, accomplished in their own fields, and deserve the mutual respect that we can offer. We are not rulers of the entire universe... just that little empire within our academy's walls.

Risk is good. Stability is ... meh

2011-01-13T11:07:00.000-05:00

As much as I have been influenced by my parents over the years (duh), there is one major difference in our approach to careers. I love risk, my parents love stability. Now, these past months of economic struggle have certainly made me appreciate more the benefits of stability, but even still, I wouldn't trade my type of career freedom for a "normal" job.

Running a martial arts academy challenges every skill set I have, and has caused me to grow some new ones. That alone makes my day interesting. But when I look at the financial side, I am addicted to
the effort-reward cycle. Every job rewards effort in some way, either with promotions, bonuses, recognition, and such. When you run your own business, you get to have those results almost immediately. How cool is that?

Running an academy is sort of like gardening and hunting, to me. Some aspects of our business take time to grow, but many elements of income can be improved today, with simple focus and effort. I love the mixture of long-term and immediate results. Based on our needs at the time, or our mood for the day, we get to choose our tasks. And based on that, we get to choose our paycheck.

Results come from action. I give massive credit to my business mentor, Mr. Fred Mertens for teaching me that I don't need more time, just more intensity. We have to apply that intensity correctly and have the discipline to make sure no areas of business are neglected. In my opinion, that's where the risk comes in. Will you actually do what it takes to make your academy grow? And do you know where to find guidance if you are ever at a loss for solutions?

In the past year or so, I watched many families in my academy become fearful and hesitant about the future. Some months I was pretty worried myself. But the difference for us risk takers, is that we can do something about it right now, today, as soon as we get to work. That feeling of knowing that I can impact my own financial standing on a daily basis actually gives me a huge sense of stability. I will always be able to create results in my business. And you know, even if things do get bad, I really don't think I'm ever going to fire myself.

The original motivational speaker: Mom

2011-01-10T21:05:00.000-05:00

I think I was exceptionally lucky to be born to parents who were both educators. They automatically taught my brother and I that we can do anything. They programmed us to try new things, to try again if we messed up, to analyze failure but not to dwell on it. They always believed in us, and so, we did too. And like most kids, what I believed to be true about myself, I assumed was true for everyone else.

When I listen to motivational tapes and read success books now, much of it hinges on similar principles. Beliefs have in impact on
our choices, decisions and emotions. Our expectations of success allow us to start a new project or set a new goal, imagining that it will work out for the best. Don't let me go off on a motivational tangent here... I think you get the idea.

When we teach, our belief structure bleeds into the classroom. You may have heard of the Pygmalion Effect, where teacher expectations have a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy impact on students. (Do a Google search on: Robert Rosenthal, or Pygmalion Effect for more info, lots of research there.) When we make a judgement about someone's ability, it affects how we teach them, for better or for worse.

I think we have a responsibility to keep high expectations for our students. This serves two purposes. First, it will help us teach them as if they are capable of great things. Second, it will preserve the standards of our style and technique. If we believe they can be excellent, we will make excellent class plans, and we will not settle for anything less than progress toward that excellence. We will say encouraging things to our students and they will be willing to try again when they make a mistake.

I just can't find a downside to believing that people can be excellent martial artists with proper guidance and training. Besides, my Mom said, "You can do anything if you put your mind to it," and she is always right.

'Scuse me... I was talking to the other one

2011-01-04T10:15:00.002-05:00

What do YOU think?

Just a brief thought... let people answer for themselves. I met a couple yesterday and the wife kept telling me what the husband wanted. He was standing right there! I would ask him a question and the answer would pop right out of her mouth. (sheesh) I see this sometimes with parents and their children, and even with siblings, but not so much between grown people. What IS that? The funny thing was that the wife wanted their kids to enroll because they won't stand up for themselves. Hmm.

When siblings do that to each other, it's usually a simple thing to make a joke about who's old enough to speak and who isn't, then to ask the answer-bot if her sibling could answer for herself. Everyone giggles
and the no-talker gets a chance to be heard. It's always a bit touchier when it's the parent talking over the child.

I try to recognize these dynamics before it becomes an issue. Then I can pre-frame the family by saying, "Today I have some questions for the parents, and some for the kids. It's important that everyone answer only their own questions. Sound good?" As a parent, I do not enjoy watching my child struggle. At all. But I know that she has to go through tough experiences, at her own pace, in order to process the lessons that are inherent in life's challenges. If she doesn't learn how to speak to other people, then how is she going to function when she is away from us?

So yesterday, I didn't catch it in time and there was no pre-frame... my bad. Maybe this woman was just more comfortable doing the talking, and I understand that someone has to take the lead. But it's just common courtesy to let an adult speak for themselves when someone asks a direct question. In my experience, mom's and dad's usually have very different ideas about martial arts training, and I need to know where both of them are coming from. That way, I can address their needs in the most complete way.

For this couple, I had to actually ask the wife to let me get her husband's answer. Was I too direct?... maybe, but I did establish that everyone is expected to have a voice in the academy. And I discovered a lot about why their kids may be having difficulty with their peers. As for my husband... I always know what he's going to say, and I'm only wrong about half the time. I guess that means I should only answer for him every other day.

Teacher... or, Keeper?

2011-01-02T20:59:00.002-05:00

What makes someone a teacher and not just a keeper? I know people who call themselves teachers, instructors, and coaches, but they are certainly not all equally capable in those positions. It's not enough to watch over students and take them through their paces. Teaching has to be more than that.

(this is hard to discuss without being insulting, I fear, so stop reading if you are the queasy type)

Imagine a pre-school classroom, filled with seven young children and one adult. Clearly, we want the adult to be "in charge" and "responsible" but, simply being present in the room doesn't necessarily mean the adult is skilled as such. For anything constructive to happen,
the adult has to take action to establish order, to provide direction, to encourage and to actually instruct and share new ideas.

If two children fight over a toy, a keeper will separate them and maybe decide who gets the toy, or even take it away from both of them. A Teacher will help them figure out how to use words instead of fighting, how to share or take turns, how to play together instead of against eachother. The Teacher will spend a lot more time on the issue, and will have to repeat that lesson over and over again until the students learn. A keeper will establish discipline and punish accordingly so the students learn one thing quickly: how to obey.

In a martial arts classroom, anyone can explain a drill and count to ten a few times. That doesn't make them an instructor. Teaching is about adding value to a lesson, not just reading the instructions. It's about finding yet another way to explain a technique so that everyone can understand it. Teaching is always about the student, and never about the instructor.

Discipline is very important in martial arts, but it is not the only thing that matters. Let's teach our students how to make good decisions and not just how to follow orders. It will take a lot longer, but it will mean the difference between being a true Instructor, and not just someone who led a few drills.

Pet rocks, good... Pet students, bad

2010-11-05T00:00:00.002-04:00

There was a little girl who road my bus when I was a kid, and she was picked on by some of the older kids. One day, they threw her sweater out the window. Everyone's parents got called and we all got in trouble. I wasn't too worried since other people were the ones who picked on her, so imagine my surprise when I got the "I'm very disappointed in you" lecture from Mom.

Turns out that I should have helped that girl, instead of standing by. "But Mom, she's weird." (Good answer, right?) So with her typical wisdom,
my mother gave me the most important lesson a future instructor could have. She told me that everyone has something about them that is easy to like, just sometimes you have to look harder to find it. She also told me I had to sit with that girl on the bus for a whole week. I guess she wanted to be sure I had time to find something nice.

We don't have to be best friends with our students. In fact, it's a very bad idea to be "friends" with them at all, but that's another post. We do have to be able to find the good technique, the good attitude, the good effort that is present in everyone. Too often we send most of our attention and praise to the students who may have an easier time fitting in with our standards. Anyone who isn't already on that level may be discouraged from making an effort if they aren't getting feedback.

When an instructor shows favoritism, it sends the message that some students are more important than others. We have to be consistent in how we treat every student, in order to maintain our own integrity and that of our martial arts style. Our status as instructors can be used to elevate all types of students. If we push away the people who struggle more with their skills in class, we fail to challenge ourselves as instructors, and we fail to meet the needs of the students who could most benefit from martial arts.

I can think of several students who started out with very little "natural" talent for martial arts, who then became outstanding Black Belts and even instructors. I'd love to hear your success stories, the ugly duckling stories that are in your academy. Anyone can turn an athlete into a Black Belt... who did you really help?

Yes, actually you ARE ready for graduation

2010-09-16T12:03:00.051-04:00

Okay, it's rare, but sometimes I do have students who are ready to graduate even though they think they need more time. Often this happens for Black Belt exams, since we would all like to have more time to prepare ourselves for those. As an instructor, we have to make sure students are mentally and emotionally ready so they don't get stagnant or complacent. For them, it's about facing fears and taking on challenges.

Sometimes it's about the elusive perfection, or a student has compared themselves to someone else in class. Either way, the instructor has to remove that student's self-evaluation (which is flawed), and establish the proper standards for progress
in their particular art. In other words, do what the instructor says.

For underbelt students, instructors are establishing the baseline for trust that will be the foundation for a potentially life-long relationship. When evaluating a student's performance, we have to be honest and constructive at the same time. If we do that from the start, then most students will accept our instructions without question, even when they feel some personal hesitation.

My Dad was the type of dad who let us experiment and take risks. "Go ahead and see what happens," was his typical encouragement (especially when Mom wasn't looking). Sometimes that meant I messed up, but he was always there to catch me. Students may stumble on some of your requirements, even though you know they can do it. Pick them up, dust them off, and help them try it again. Sooner or later they will see what you see in their own potential.

No, you are NOT ready for graduation

2010-08-30T00:00:00.081-04:00

Did you ever try the "Mom, all my friends are doing it" approach to get permission for something as a kid? I'm sure, like me, you got the standard response, "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?" That was before bungie jumping, so I really had no come-back, but if she asked me that question today, I might just have a snappy answer!

So what happens when a student notices that all of his classmates are graduating, but he isn't? What is your standard reply when a student thinks they are ready for the next belt level and you know they are not?
Some options that I've heard: "Get back in line. I'll tell you when you're ready." "The more often you ask me, the longer it will take."

I'm not sure how well those answers would be received in this age of customer service, and they really don't address the issue. For our students, it boils down to four key factors that even the newest student can monitor:
1) number of classes since last graduation (have you been in front of an instructor enough?)
2) length of time since last graduation (are you cramming or really learning?)
3) knowledge of curriculum (do you remember what you are supposed to know?)
4) quality of skills (are you good at the things you do know?)

It's important that some of the qualifying elements for graduating be directly under the control of the student. And for the typical student, showing up for class on a regular basis will most likely take care of knowledge and quality anyway. This way, both the student and the instructors are responsible for the student's progress. If they have been in class, then they should at least have the knowledge and know what they have to improve upon physically.

Normally, if someone is not ready for graduation, the instructor can point to each of these four areas and explain which ones have been met and which have not. This simple, objective standard is fair and easy to maintain. It's kind of like Mom asking, "Is your homework done? Did you take out the trash?" before letting you go out and play. We all know what we're supposed to do, but someone has to make sure it gets done.

Ending a friendship ... Firing a student

2010-08-01T00:00:00.106-04:00

I was a bit socially awkward as a kid, and when I got invited to hang out with a b-list cool kid one summer, I couldn't believe my luck. Mom took me shopping for a new bathing suit and sent me off for some fun. It was a great bathing suit... turquoise and pink one-piece, with a flattering cut for my tentative 'tween figure.

As we were getting ready to go to the pool, my social-ticket friend saw that bathing suit and said, "Hey, why don't we trade suits... I'll wear yours and you can wear mine." Now, let's not even think about the hygiene issues, because there weren't any in those days. Just focus on the dilemma: brand new bathing suit ... potentially important friend.
Aiming for the status, I gave my new suit to the cool kid, who proceeded to snag it on every concrete surface at the pool. (You can tell why I needed some martial arts training at this point.)

So what did Mom say when all this came out? As usual, she started with, "Oh, honey," followed by a hug and a sigh. See, my Mom gets it. She instantly knew that I had chosen between my own fun, and someone else's. Then we had a long talk about the line between generosity and getting stepped on. Turns out that if I had to be unhappy in order to make someone else happy, then probably I need to reconsider the options. There are some lines you just don't cross.

Something similar applies for the students at my martial arts Academy. These boundaries take the form of the protocol found in any martial arts culture. We enjoy a broad range of personalities and usually they blend together beautifully. But occasionally, a student or parent will exhibit an attitude of selfishness or disrespect that dampens the atmosphere for everyone. Of course people are there to learn, so my first action is to have a meeting or an on-the-spot discussion to address the issue.

So what does a Black Belt do? When someone is causing a permanent disruption in the Academy, I politely and clearly end their membership. I write a pointed letter explaining my decision and include a pro-rated refund of any money that may be due back to them. Now let's not think about the financial implications, because money cannot excuse bad behavior. Just focus on the issue... a member refusing to maintain protocol ... other members witnessing that breach.

If a parent continually comes to the Academy under the influence of alcohol (true story!), or refuses to allow our staff to contact them by phone, then there is no way that we can balance the positive influence for that student with the negative impact on the entire academy. Although there is always a sense of loss at not having been able to help someone overcome a personality conflict or to create an understanding of our Academy's culture, there is also a sense of relief at choosing to maintain protocol. That is the deciding factor: when a student or parent's conduct takes away from the advancement of other students' goals, then they simply cannot be a part of a martial arts academy, even if the student is their own child.

In one case, several people came up and expressed gratitude that so-and-so didn't seem to be coming around much anymore. In another situation, the students who observed an incident, relaxed noticeably when they found that there were real repercussions. We cannot always know the extent of the damage one person's negativity can cause; but we can be sensitive to our own impressions and be strong enough not to allow bad behavior in our martial arts schools. Isn't that why people come to us in the first place? to be around others who want to improve themselves physically, socially and even spiritually?

Thank goodness adults don't have to be cool anymore.