This is something that should be thought about early on—something that’s easy to forget when making the original guest list and can be a huge budget buster come invitation time when you realize you forgot to factor in 30 extra Xcrazyamountofmoney per plate. Luckily for us, Clay and I developed a formula early on with which we (and our guests) are both comfortable. I think that since etiquette on this varies so vastly, the plus one issue is best settled based on the couple’s guest list. Since so many people on our list are young and single, if we went with the idea of everyone over 18 bringing a guest, there would likely be over 350 people in attendance… no can do! After much discussion, the rule that we decided to stick with is pretty basic. Regardless of any other factors, we are inviting a plus one if you are:<a href=”http://blog.partyspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/plus_one.png”><img class=”alignright size-full wp-image-4532″ src=”http://blog.partyspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/plus_one.png” alt=”" width=”278″ height=”236″ /></a>
<ol>
<li>married (obviously!)</li>
<li>engaged</li>
<li>in a long-term relationship with someone we have met</li>
<li>a floater—a friend who wouldn’t know anyone else at the wedding</li>
</ol>
I have been to seven weddings. The only two times that Clay and I were not invited as a couple (which were prior to our engagement) were when my family was invited as a unit. Regardless of the fact that I am in my twenties and we were indeed living together, there was no plus one. From both a guest perspective and a bride standpoint, this makes sense to me. In both cases, the couple had never met Clay, which as the inviter, is something that I consider very important. I had a wonderful time at both weddings and I actually loved that it was something special that my family got to do together—weddings are hugely about family and this certainly drove that idea home.

<a href=”http://blog.partyspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dance-floor2.jpg”><img class=”alignleft size-medium wp-image-4535″ src=”http://blog.partyspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dance-floor2-300×199.jpg” alt=”" width=”300″ height=”199″ /></a> We took this concept and it applied it to our guest list; if your whole family is invited, then the “kids” (unless engaged or married) aren’t invited with a plus one. Along the same lines, if we’re inviting an entire group of friends, ie the Ursinus College rugby team circa 2002-2009… this is also the case. For our friends who will know some but not many and are single, we just asked them their preference. It hadn’t originally occurred to us that these are our friends; if they’re invited to our wedding, we should feel comfortable enough to ask them such a simple question! It was a relief—so much better than guessing what they would prefer. And while I’m unsure what my thoughts would have been during my single days, surprisingly enough, even the friends of mine who won’t know many (or any!) other guests at the wedding are happily intending to attend alone. With nearly one third of our invitees single males under the age of 30, I think most of my girlfriends flying solo is wonderful news for our dance floor!

I believe that the most important element to consider while figuring out the mess that is plus ones is this: know your guest list. If you’re inviting your entire sorority and most of them are unmarried—plenty of fun can be had making the wedding into a girls’ night out. If you’re not sure of how close friendships have remained or if someone is dying to nudge her boyfriend to propose by getting him to a great wedding, just <em>ask</em>. Our guests who we gave this courtesy to were incredibly grateful—and our bottom line has always been that we want all the people we love in attendance… and we want them happy!

Speaking of happy, I’ll end with a final note to the single ladies coming to our wedding: kudos to you and your confident selves… and know this—you are going to be even hotter commodities than usual come June 9^th ; ).

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Baltimore wedding caterer Jacki Butterfield, co-owner of  Patchwork Catering, is a true pioneer in the green catering segment. In fact, her business is the only endorsed green catering company in food at its freshest and working the city. Clients work directly with her when creating seasonal menus featuring locally sourced and sustainably farmed ingredients. “Whenever possible,” she maintains, “we are supporting the local economy, serving ethically when it comes to matters of the planet.”

Originally from Central Iowa, Chef Jacki’s passion for supporting local farms began early on. As a Baltimore wedding caterer, she notes, “Patchwork Catering is a natural extension of my commitment to build relationships with clients, the community and the environment.” Patchwork, she notes, is also approved vendor of the book, Green Bride Guide – required reading if this is the direction your wedding will take.

Jacki’s husband, Chef Tom Campbell, is a Towson native. They decided to move to Baltimore after a family visit and jointly have a combined 30 years’ experience working in top industry kitchens including four-star, fine-dining celebrity chef restaurants in Las Vegas.

You will find this Baltimore wedding caterer working at some if the most unique venues in the city, including Irvine Nature Center, Howard Peter Rawlings Conservatory and The Maryland Zoo.  

A signature cocktail seems to be one of the hottest trends on the wedding market these days. It is a way for the bride and groom to create a one of a kind drink, share their favorite drink, or extend their wedding theme. These drinks can be alcoholic or non and are always a hit with wedding guests!

This unique drink adds a little “oomph” to the cocktail hour or reception and also can be a great budget friendly idea; rather than have an open bar, serve your guests beer and wine, champagne for the toast, and then one special cocktail! If you are planning to have a signature drink, discuss this idea with your wedding caterer/liquor provider and they will be fully able to assist you in making your special cocktail the day of.  Make sure to name the drink something sassy and add a festive sign announcing it from the bar! Here are some tasty wedding cocktail recipes for all seasons:

Cranberry Spiced Sparkler

8 fresh cranberries 1 tsp. Pumpkin spice Agave nectar *

Splash of freshly squeezed lemon juice 3 oz.

Champagne or sparkling wine

Directions: In the bottom of a mixing glass, muddle the cranberries, agave nectar, and lemon juice. Then add ice and the champagne or sparkling wine and gently fold. Strain out into a champagne flute. Top off with an extra splash of wine.

*Garnish with 3 floating cranberries

*To make pumpkin spice agave nectar, simply combine 1 cup agave nectar with 2 tsp store bought pumpkin pie spice (comes ground), and stir.

Blueberry Julep

2 oz organic vodka 1/2 oz blueberry liqueur 1/2 oz simple syrup ½ oz blueberry purée Splash of sparkling wine

*Garnish with mint

*Top with puree and mix with a spoon. Top with champagne and garnish with mint.

 Grasshopper Hot Chocolate

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/3 cup sugar

1/2 cup cold water

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup half-and-half

2 1/2 cups milk

1/3 cup crème de menthe, or to taste 2 tablespoons crème de cacao, or to taste

*Whipped cream and shaved bittersweet chocolate for garnish.

Ecco Fredo

 Muddle a slice of watermelon with one teaspoon of sugar

Add 1oz. of pineapple juice

Add 2.5 oz. of Ecco Domani’s Pinot Grigio

 *Garnish with a thin slice of watermelon

Where did all of that time go!? When we became engaged, September seemed like so far away. And now I just have six months and change before the Big Day. Uhhhhh. Time to get my butt in gear. And I mean that. Now that Dirk and I have most of the big items checked off of the list, I need to start focusing on my personal well-being before the wedding. Every bride wants to look her absolute best on her wedding day, and I am certainly no exception. Do I have some things that I would like to improve? I do. (see what I did there?)

Somehow, I have lost all my motivation to work out. I used to run a lot more, and would go to the gym or yoga class several times a week. You would think that having to put on a wedding dress would be the ultimate motivation for me, but somehow, it’s not.  I keep on thinking “oh, no PROBLEM. The wedding is so far away! If I work out too early, it will be too hard to maintain!” This is straight-up crazy talk from a lazy woman.

I was going to Zumba class every week with my friend Jessica. I call Zumba ‘Flailing About’ because that’s essentially what I was doing in each class. The instructor actually started laughing at me in the last class because of how ridiculously uncoordinated I am. Apparently, my brain cannot process touching my arm to opposite leg. No matter how hard I tried, it was always right leg, right arm. The “opposite limb” dance moves elude me. I actually managed to make it happen once during class, and I was beaming with pride as if I had just won a Gold Medal in Zumba. It’s probably best for everyone (and my pride) if I move on to some other workout regimen.

fact.

But desperate times require desperate measures. I have swung the pendulum in the opposite direction and have committed myself to start P90x. This exercise program is not for the faint of heart, and I am completely dreading it. I did 14 days of it a few years ago and but then I lost interest. I think I heard cocktails calling my name, dropped those weights, and ran to the nearest Happy Hour. Anyway, I forced nicely asked Jessica to join me in this crusade. She has agreed to come to my house every night after work for 90 days so we can whip ourselves into shape. Thank you, Jess!

I don’t have the best track record with keeping resolutions and promises (remember my New Years’ post?) but I absolutely have to focus and get myself motivated.  Perhaps sharing my struggle on this blog will shame me into working very hard – at least for the next 90 days! For my own sanity (and for my seamstress’s), let’s hope so.

When Is It?

Even though most people have their rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding, immediately following the ceremony run-through, you can have it whenever you want.

Who Pays?

Traditionally, the groom’s parents plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. These days, however, many couples shell out for the shindig themselves or ask both sets of parents to share the cost.

Who’s Invited?

Your rehearsal dinner must, must, must include: all members of the wedding party (and their spouses or dates); parents of flower girls or ring bearers in the wedding, if the little ones are invited; all parents, stepparents and grandparents of the bride and groom, plus siblings who are not in the wedding party (and their spouses or significant others); and often the officiate and his or her spouse. Out-of-town guests should also be invited, but if you prefer to keep the gathering more intimate, schedule an event for them at another location. You could have a welcome reception at a restaurant or at the hotel where they’re staying, or informal cocktails at the home of a relative or close friend.

How Formal Should The Dinner Be?

The degree of formality is at the discretion of the hosts, but it should never exceed the formality (or lavishness) of the actual wedding. Whatever the rehearsal dinner’s style, it’s always courteous to send invitations after you’ve received wedding RSVPs. They needn’t be fancy—you can find fill-in-the-blank ones at stationery stores or make them on your computer at home.

Where Do We Have It?

You might have the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant, preferably with an attractive private room; in someone’s backyard (for a cookout!); or even at a clam shack or pizza parlor for a super casual affair. Be creative, because, really, anything goes as long as you and your guests are relaxed, comfortable and having a good time. If you want to find the ideal place to have your rehearsal dinner, check out Partyspace.com

Although special, having a fur ball in the wedding can get a little complicated so,  here are a few factors to bear in mind and some special ways to celebrate your four-legged other significant other:

The Serious Stuff – There are a few non-negotiables. Is there a place for your animal to rest comfortably if they need a break from the action? Is your venue pet friendly?  Be sure to give your site coordinator, planner and all of your vendors a heads-up if you intend to bring your pet.

Is your pet a good citizen? Be completely honest with yourself here.  Biters, jumpers, nervous nellies and scratchers should stay at home.

Will your pet enjoy the party? A dog who freaks out during thunderstorms will probably not enjoy crowd noise and music, but if your pet is easygoing and social then they should be fine.  When you are interviewing talent ask about their experience with pets and parties and if they have any tips for you.

Consider your guests: If you’re inviting small children, or people with asthma or allergies incorporating your pets may be less than inviting. People with allergies often ask about pets before going to someone’s house so that they can bring along medicine. But, no one would think to ask if pets were present before going to a wedding.

The Silly Stuff - Tell your photographer that your pet will be at the wedding and make sure that there are plenty of pictures to document their presence.

Dress up your pet-  Everyone else will look their best and so should your animal.  Make sure that they are well groomed.  If your dog hates clothes then choose a cute new collar or harness instead of the canine tux.

 Have an Exit Strategy- Assign a family member that is not in the Wedding Party with a plan if your pet is not cooperating or gets nervous.  Cute pictures and lots of Ahhhh’s aside you do not want to subject your pet to undue stress.. or your guests for that matter.

Maybe just maybe, you will get a “woof” when you say I DO!

So now it is time to think about the actual invitations. Calligraphy is absolutely beautiful.  But when I saw what some charge to address one envelope, I knew it was not an option for us. I am convinced I can teach myself some sort of fancy script so that I can address the envelopes.  And with the equally fancy pen I purchased from Michael’s, it might actually look okay.  Though, I fear that the 15 extra envelopes we are given may not be enough.

My next issues is all of the envelopes. There is the outer invitation envelope, the inner invite envelope, the return address on the outer, and finally the RSVP envelope. If I address those at the same rate as the save the dates, we are looking at 12 weeks. My wedding will be over by then! And I cannot bear to have any more wedding nightmares. (Last night’s dream involved me forgetting to call the photographer and tell her when and where to meet us for the wedding. Our wedding went undocumented.  Really, could that actually happen???) My solution to the envelope problem is a stamp – I think.  Martha Stewart shows a fancy rubber stamp on her website which I love.

My question for all of you out there – would you consider using a stamp for the return address on your wedding invitation?

My DIY Stockpile

We fall into the great DIY hoax. We believe that with enough trips to Michaels for supplies, we can recreate that TV dream wedding on a shoe string budget. I blame Martha Stewart.

During this whole wedding planning process, this concept has become one of my worst faults for two reasons.  One, I love DIY projects and two, I am really, really, really bad at asking for help.  I consider myself to be a rather crafty and handy person.  I’m willing to give any project a try.  Tiling, drywalling, painting, making 150 crepe paper flowers…I say bring it.  So many of my friends and family have offered their help, which I greatly appreciate.  But outside of my mom, I have a hard time accepting any of it.  No, I’ll be the one hunched over the dining room table alone at 3 a.m. trying to wrap crepe paper around floral wire in some resemblance of a flower.  Just because I can’t pick up the phone and say, “Help.”   I don’t know about you, but I happen to know a thing or two about event planning, and my way around a hot glue gun, and it still has the possibility of spinning out of control really fast.

My current DIY list (and I say current because I KNOW that it will grow):

• Bathroom baskets
• Favors/escort cards (all 150 of them)
• Thank you cards
• Out-of-Town guest goodies bags
• Centerpiece arrangements
• Table numbers
• Guest book
• Menu cards
• Ceremony programs
• Signage for reception
• Cupcake stand

This is on top of all of the other wedding to-dos like scheduling all of the vendors, putting together the invitations, planning the ceremony and ordering the tables, chairs and linens needed for the reception.  Because of the venue we chose, we are going to have to do all of the set up ourselves the morning of including arranging tables, hanging paper lanterns (a must have, right?), setting up the center pieces and getting ready for the ceremony.  Plus, working a full time job with a two hour daily commute, hitting the gym so that I’m sure that my dress fits and starting a second job teaching at a local college campus  in the evenings.  Six months and counting.  I may need to stock up on wine.

Its so easy to get caught up in the idea of all the little extras that a wedding ‘needs’ when you’re looking at DIY websites and following everyone’s advice on creating inspiration boards.  I had to accept that I couldn’t do it all.  My list above used to be a little bit longer.  It used to include a photobooth back drop, ‘I Spy’ cards and table activities for the kids.  I needed to set priorities.  And should probably make future cuts to my list.  Or at the very least, don’t let it get any longer.

I have to remind myself that this isn’t what’s going to be important on June 30th.  No one is going to remember what color the homemade bands around the silverware were, or whether or not there was a handwritten poem on some basket next to the bathroom sink.  I think that as brides, we need to all stop killing ourselves over our DIY projects.  Sure, something handmade does add a nice touch.  But not everything needs to be handmade.  I promise not to tell that you rented your table numbers as long as you promise not to tell that I paid someone else to make those darn flowers.

Ahh, the wedding veil… the ultimate accessory in the transformation from engaged girl to blushing bride. Though steeped in tradition as it is, unless required by your religion, a veil is strictly optional. Today, wearing a veil is more of a style statement than a symbolic gesture. Thus, the ideal veil depends largely on the style of your wedding gown and the overall look you want to create.

The Basics:
Tulle is the classic veil material, although lace, silk, and satin are also options. Veils can be embellished with embroidery, pearls, or sparkly stones. Lengths run the gamut from short blushers to elaborate cathedral-length jaw-droppers.

Style Tips:
Consider Your Wedding Hair Style
To showcase your hairstyle, choose a veil that fastens underneath your ‘do or one you’ll remove for the reception; otherwise, you can opt for a veil that you’ll wear throughout the event. In this case, your hair will simply support the veil.

Wedding Photography Tip:

If you plan to remove your veil immediately after the ceremony, keep in mind that it won’t appear in post-ceremony or first dance pictures. To ensure this classic accessory is adequately documented, many brides wait to remove the veil until after the first dance.

Choosing an Appropriate Veil:
Your wedding veil should not compete with your dress, so if you’re donning an elaborately embellished gown, keep your veil clean and simple. Also, any ornamentation on your veil should start below where your dress embellishments end.

Budget considerations:

Just like anything else, veil prices vary. According to The Bridal Association of America, the average cost of a bride’s veil is $274. Here’s what you can get for your budget:

- At the low end
For between $20 and $50, expect to buy a short, one-layer veil made from tulle or netting.

- In the mid-range
For $150 to $250, you can buy a tulle length veil that includes some detailing, such as ribbon or lace trim.

- At the high end
For $300 to $500 or more, you can get a long veil with several layers and ornate lace or beaded details, possibly in higher-quality silk tulle.

Wedding Style Guide:
Here’s the lingo you’ll need to know to get started:

- Blusher
The blusher is a short, single-layer veil worn over your face during the ceremony, then flipped back over the head or removed before “kiss the bride.” You can wear a blusher solo or with a longer veil.

- Flyaway
The flyaway veil is multi-layered and barely brushes the shoulders. This veil is appropriate for more casual looks.

- Elbow
As the name implies, an elbow-length veil extends to your elbows, providing the grace of a veil without overpowering your dress. This style is very popular for more casual weddings.

- Finger tip
The fingertip veil extends to your fingertips when your arms are hanging naturally. This popular veil length complements most wedding dresses, from sleek sheaths to elaborate ball gowns.

- Chapel
The chapel veil extends to the floor, falling 2.5 yards from your headpiece and flowing over your train. This veil complements the length of your train and is appropriate for more formal weddings and attire.

- Cathedral
The cathedral veil – or royal veil – is the most formal. It extends 3.5 yards from your headpiece and is usually worn with a cathedral-length train.

- Double tier

Like the name suggests, a double-tier veil consists of two layers (either two veils or a veil and a blusher) that extend to different lengths.

- Waltz or ballet
This long veil falls between your knees and ankles – a good option if you prefer a long veil, but your dress does not have a train. (You won’t trip on it while dancing, hence the namesake.)

- Fountain
The fountain veil gathers at the crown of your head and cascades around the face to your shoulders or elbows.

- Mantilla
This Spanish-inspired veil – often made of lace – drapes over the head to varying lengths. A headpiece isn’t necessary to keep it in place.

- Pouf
The pouf veil features gathered material added to the point where it connects to your headpiece, creating added volume. This style works with most veil lengths.

Since her ordination in 1998, she’s presided over nearly 1,000 ceremonies. “My job is to uplift each couple and their guests, give them a sense that all is right with the world, and help everyone present realize that love can truly change your life.”

As a Baltimore wedding officiant, Rev. Eaton has had the opportunity to co-preside services with Rabbis, Cantors and even a Catholic Priest. One of her most memorable experiences was a ceremony where the guests were seated in a spiral formation. The couple followed her through the spiral to an alter at the center. After the exchange of vows and rings, there was a traditional Celtic handfasting to symbolize the tying of the knot. Then, the bride and groom sipped wine from one cup – representing the sweetness and bitterness they would share in life. After the couple signed a marriage contract, the ceremony concluded with each guest walking through the spiral to sign the contract as well.

When this Baltimore wedding officiant was asked about current trends for ceremonies, she mentioned, “More and more couples are choosing to say something personal to one another, and then repeat a traditional vow.” Rev. Eaton continued, “Multi-cultural couples often exchange vows in English as well as their native language, while the Irish lean toward the handfasting ritual or hold an ‘oathing stone.’”

While Rev. Eaton claims there is no shortage of exquisite ceremony sites in the Baltimore area, she admits her personal favorite is The Elkridge Furnace Inn in Howard County, minutes from both the airport and Inner Harbor. “Their ceremony garden,” she says, “has developed over time into a very beautiful, secluded ceremony space. Guests can greet the newlyweds in a lovely toasting garden, and then retreat to the inn’s covered porches overlooking the Patapsco River.”  Most receptions, she concludes, are held in a tented pavilion that adjoins the inn.

For more information:

revalbertaeaton@yahoo.com

www.revalbertaeaton.com