Passing It On

So you’ve got a famous cousin ... so what?

Larry Lehmer — 2009-12-16T14:13:27-06:00

This may be genealogical sacrilege, but count me among the people who yawned when they heard this week that President Barack Obama and mega-billionaire Warren Buffett are related.

In case you missed it, here’s the story about these seventh cousins, three times removed. You may also have missed the earlier news that President Obama also counts former president George W. Bush and ex-vice president Dick Cheney among his distant cousins.

To which, I say: So what? Theoretically, if you go back far enough we should all be related, right? Some people in this celebrity-biased culture are driven to know which famous people might be perched on another branch of their family tree, no matter how large the tree or how far removed the celebrity branch may be.

Personally, I’m much more interested in the three or four generations that I grew up hearing stories about, people who had a far greater influence on me and the loved ones I have known than the relatives who let some prime real estate in the blue grass country of Kentucky slip away in the 19th century.

Family history is much more than names and dates from a distant time. It’s a wondrous, ever-shifting work in progress that all living beings play a role in through their very existence. This is not to demean the past for there are important lessons to be gleaned from our ancestors, whether through our research or through their stories that have been passed on in some manner.

So, if you learn that I’m a seventh cousin, three times removed, to some famous person, I’ll accept that information with gratitude, interest and humility. But what I’d really like to know are the circumstances surrounding Jessie M. Breckenridge’s first marriage in the 1910s.

That’s much more relevant to me.

Writing prompt for the day: Who’s the most famous living person in your family tree? How has fame affected your own family history project?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and legacy planner. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Say, is that really you behind that mask?

Larry Lehmer — 2009-12-14T12:20:24-06:00

Are you the real deal? Or, put another way, have you always been you?

Before you get all indignant at the suggestion that you might be something of a pretender, give the question some serious thought before answering.

Truth is, most of us have done a little reality bending when it comes to our very own identities.

For example, when I was a child a bus ride in my home town cost a nickel if you were below the age of 12. After your 12th birthday, it jumped to 15 cents. I must confess that for a year or two after my 12th birthday, I rode for a nickel. So, if my parents had given me 30 cents for a round-trip, the difference between what I was supposed to pay and what I actually paid subsidized more than one cherry-filled bismark and bag of penny candy.

I’ll bet many of you have done the same sort of fudging to get into bars, buy alcohol or cigarettes or to qualify for a price break of some kind because of your slightly miscalculated age. I know of grandmothers today who, as girls too young to dance on American Bandstand, stuffed tissue into their bras to get past the doormen at WFIL-TV in Philadelphia.

Sometimes we go a bit further such as the time a friend and I passed ourselves off as touring rock musicians to a waitress in a small-town restaurant. Fortunately, we weren’t required to prove our musical skills so we managed to carry off the charade effectively for some time.

I believe the examples I’ve offered are harmless enough to not materially affect my own personal history, though they do add a certain texture to it. In some families, however, it could be a serious matter, particularly when an altered identity is used to mask criminal activity or out of fear.

In any case, it’s a good question to explore as you work on any family history project.

Writing prompt of the day: Identify the times you or your family members have pretended to be someone else.

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of exfordy.

Holiday baking season stirs up goodies, family memories

Larry Lehmer — 2009-12-02T09:43:26-06:00

Around our house, Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday baking season. It’s a very special time of the year when our thoughts turn to Christmases of the past, especially those of departed family members.

My wife and I have separate agendas for our holiday baking so rarely share time in the kitchen when indulging our passions for whipping up Christmas cookies, breads and other goodies. Her list includes many of her childhood favorites – decorated sugar cookies, spritz, gingerbread men, almond crescents and houska (from her Czech heritage).

While several of my favorites also come from my childhood, the one recipe I received from my mother wouldn’t be called a Christmas cookie by most people. But Mom always made her black walnut ice box cookies around the holidays, storing them in our unheated attic to bring out their full flavor.

Here are a few favorites I collected from my grandmothers:

Grandma (Ellen) Andersen: Aebleskiver and apple cake. Both of these reflect Grandma’s Danish heritage (she came to the U.S. from Denmark in 1920.) She always served aebleskiver, a small spherical pancake cooked in a special pan, plain or with a prune filling. The apple cake was always served cold, topped with a dollop of whipped cream.

Grandma (Jessie) Lehmer: Probably the best cook in our family, I only have one of her recipes. She was partial to candy creations, like divinity and fudge, around the holidays but the recipe I wanted was for something she called Butterscotch Goodies. She shared it with me apologetically, since it’s so simple to make. Now I’m sharing it with you:

Grandma Lehmer’s Butterscotch Goodies

½ cup peanut butter
1 package butterscotch chips (10-12 ounces)
5 ½ cups corn flakes

Melt the peanut butter and butterscotch chips in a large saucepan until smooth. Remove from heat and add the corn flakes. Stir well and drop by teaspoonful on waxed paper until set.

Writing prompt for the day: Do you have any holiday recipes that have been passed down from your family?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of rochelle, et. al..

Losing a home is a jarring family history experience

Larry Lehmer — 2009-12-01T09:13:21-06:00

Things were looking good for Harry Lehmer in 1927.

A 29-year-old father of three, Harry and wife Jessie had scraped together enough money to buy a home of their own in the country after seven years in a home much too small for their growing family and pinching pennies wherever they could, including Harry’s shuttling back and forth to work on streetcars.

So, in January 1927, the Lehmer family packed up and relocated to an acreage in the Lewis Township area, on a steep bluff about one mile northeast of the Iowa School for the Deaf. This would be a good place to raise their kids – Jack, Agnes and Phyllis – they thought.

While young Jack enjoyed romping in the rural setting with his recently acquired collie-German shepherd mix, Shep, the experience left its scars, too.

First came the fire that destroyed a neighbor’s home, leaving the children with recurring nightmares. Then came the accident that saw a neighbor boy chop off half of Jack’s left ring finger. The most jarring experience, though, came from city lawyers.

In 1931, they received a foreclosure notice despite dutifully making every required payment on their contract for more than four years. Harry and Jesse were caught totally unaware. This was the second home they had bought on contract from the A.F. Smith Company. Who expected him to go bankrupt?

So, for the second time in four years, the Lehmers packed up and relocated, this time to a rental home in the city. It would be three years before they recovered enough financially to buy another home. In 1934 they moved to 2731 Third Avenue in Council Bluffs which would be their home for the final 25 years of their life together.Harry and Jessie were my grandparents and Jack is my father. I heard nothing of this story while my grandparents were alive but I suspect stories of foreclosure are making a resurgence these days.

Stories of home loss through foreclosure, natural disasters, condemnation and neglect are a sad but necessary part of our family histories. I hope none of you are adding your own chapters.

Writing tip for the day: Do you know the stories behind the homes in your family’s history?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Photo: Jack, Phyllis & Agnes Lehmer sit with their Uncle Warren Lehmer on steps of Harry & Jessie's home in Lewis Township near Council Bluffs, Iowa, in 1928 (W.B. Lehmer collection)

Too many irons in the fire or just stringing around?

Larry Lehmer — 2009-11-17T09:19:36-06:00

One of the things I like best about the Internet is its capacity to surprise and entertain. You just never know what the next click will unveil.

Many of those entertaining surprises circulate widely through cyberspace via e-mail or myriad forms of social media. That’s how I stumbled across an e-mail titled “A Lick & A Promise” from a cousin, Bob Cody.

The female author (unknown to me) related the story of how a young clerk didn’t understand what she meant when she used the phrase “the bottom fell out” to explain a sudden downpour. “Then I started thinking of other things that I say all the time, which these young folks might not know anything about,” the author wrote.

She offered the following examples:

Barking at a knot (meaning that your efforts were as useless as a dog barking at a knot.)
Bee in your bonnet (to have an idea that won't let loose )
Between hay and grass (not a child or an adult)
Calaboose or hoosegow (a jail)
Catawampus (something that sits crooked such as a piece of furniture sitting at an angle)
Feather in your cap (to accomplish a goal. This came from years ago in wartime when warriors might receive a feather they would put in their cap for defeating an enemy)
Kit and caboodle (the whole thing)
A lick and a promise (I'm in a hurry so I am going to just give it a lick with the mop and promise to come back and do the job right later)
Pretty is as pretty does (your actions are more important than your looks)
Red up (clean the house)
Sparking (courting)
Stringing around, gallivanting around, or piddling (not doing anything of value)
You ain't the only duck in the pond (it's not all about you)

Do any of these sound familiar?

Writing prompt for the day: What phrases do you use that you learned from your family elders?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Uh, Dad, are you sure this is supposed to taste like this?

Larry Lehmer — 2009-11-11T08:22:51-06:00

For many of us, kitchens are wondrous places, full of aromatic memories. Fresh bread right out of the oven, cinnamon rolls cooling in the pan, beef stew bubbling in a cast iron pot.

Coming up with those memories is easy. It’s the darker underbelly of the cooking experience that is sometimes missing from our family histories.

I offer as Exhibit A my dinner experience of last evening. I love to cook and like to think I do a pretty good job, most of the time. My wife is every bit as good a cook as I am but over the years I’ve turned into something of a “kitchen hog,” a trait she indulges.

For dinner last night, I made pizza, something of a house specialty. My whole wheat crust with relatively light marinara sauce is healthier and just as tasty as those found in most pizza places but I decided to take a bold step in a new direction last night.

I always make two pizzas, allowing us to freeze one for later. My first pizza was your basic vegetarian offering – mushrooms, ripe olives, green & red bell pepper, provolone & mozzarella cheeses. My second pizza consisted of olive oil sprayed on a half-baked crust, topped with a thin layer of pesto, sliced tomato and cheeses.

I thought it might taste a bit like a summer favorite, the margharita, but it tasted more like cheese-topped mud. A dud for sure.

As kitchen mistakes go, this one wasn’t so bad. Certainly not as bad as the time(s) we set off smoke alarms making blackened fish in a white-hot cast iron skillet or the time a skillet of grease caught fire on the stove.

The lesson here is to push your memory beyond the obvious. Sometimes the stories that easily pop to mind aren’t the most interesting ones.

Writing prompt for the day: What kitchen disaster stories do you remember?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo of Larry Lehmer and Rose Hayes fromlwlehmer.

Busted! Do you know the lawbreakers in your family tree?

Larry Lehmer — 2009-11-09T08:37:19-06:00

When I was in junior high, I came down with a severe case of, shall we say, sticky fingers.

As I understand it, this was a common malady, though I don’t recall any of my friends being afflicted with it. I don’t remember the circumstances surrounding my first heist, but I certainly remember those of my last.

I started out with the small stuff – little green and red plastic bingo markers that probably sold for a dime a bag at Kresge’s or Woolworth’s. I moved up in short order to index cards, the easily concealable 3 x 5 inch variety. You might wonder why would a 12-year-old boy want a stash of bingo markers and index cards? Good question. I have no answer. It apparently was more for the thrill than the stuff.

My undoing came when I wandered into a Safeway store with a couple of friends on our way home after school. Expanding my repertoire to include candy bars was an unwise decision. I was nabbed at the door while my innocent friends slipped away undeterred.

The short lecture I received in the manager’s office was powerfully effective. I was scared straight. I caught up with my friends who asked, “What was that all about?” I muttered something about being a witness to a shoplifting. Just doing my civic duty. I doubt that they bought it.

Truth is, most of us have either been lawbreakers ourselves or have relatives who were. Think of buying or using alcohol or cigarettes illegally, using a fake ID to do something otherwise prohibited, speeding or fudging on taxes.

Some of us have more notable lawbreakers in our family’s past. In recent years I have heard stories of a great grandparent who may have served time for murder. There may be others who have committed illegal acts that I am unaware of.

What about your family?

Writing prompt for the day: How do you handle difficult subjects in your family history? Are you asking the right questions?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of stevechasmar.

‘Old Home Day’ gives a colorful peek into U.S. rural roots

Larry Lehmer — 2009-11-04T12:26:45-06:00

As a writer, I’m partial to books. Oh, I dink around in cyberspace, contributing my fair share of binarian musings and pixels, but I strongly believe that the printed word will transcend whatever electronic challenges may pop up in the foreseeable future.

As you might guess, my home is full of books. Overflowing would be too strong a word, but my wife and I are making a conscientious attempt at winnowing our typographical treasures. Thus, it’s something of a setback whenever a new book is added to the collection. Sometimes, though, I just can’t help myself.

Our local library is following a similar path as that taken by my wife and I; they are continuously purging their holdings. Their castoffs are often my temptations, especially since almost all of them are cut loose for a measly 25 cents. This week I succumbed, plunking down a quarter for “Old Home Day” by Donald Hall.

“Old Home Day” is a children’s book and the colorful watercolor illustrations by Emily Arnold McCully sold me as much as the delightful, to-the-point text by poet Hall. There’s something of a disclaimer to the 1996 book, noting that it is “the story of the growth of a fictional New Hampshire village from prehistory to the bicentennial celebration of its founding.”

Despite the fiction part, “Old Home Day” could be the story of thousands of communities across the United States: Carved by glaciers, lush forests and grasslands taking root, Native Americans arriving, followed by trappers and inevitable conflicts. Farmers staking their claims with commerce right behind, bringing with it roads and railroads that slice through the wilderness. Rapid growth and then an inexplicable exodus to the growing cities.

But the book sounds an optimistic note, playing off the real Old Home Week proclaimed by New Hampshire Governor Frank Rollins in 1899. Rollins’ call for people to reconnect with their roots had an impact well beyond New Hampshire, though it’s hard to tell how many people were actually lured back to their rural origins because of Rollins’ action.

Well-orchestrated family history projects are the literary equivalent of Old Home Week, allowing descendants a glimpse into their own family’s roots through the stories of their ancestors.

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Sign of the times: Obituaries rotating with pizza, tire ads

Larry Lehmer — 2009-11-02T13:46:35-06:00

Think billboards are dead? If so, you’re half-right.

Here in central Iowa, it’s possible for your loved ones to see your name up in lights one last time after you’re gone. The Iles Funeral Homes of Des Moines and Clear Channel Outdoor have teamed up to offer obituaries on at least five electronic billboards in the metro area.

For about 8 seconds, service details with the dead person's name and picture appear in rotation with other ads. According to Jessica Koth of the National Funeral Directors Association in Brookfield, Wis., the electronic billboards are a first.

While the debate continues over the distractive features of electronic billboards in general, Marilyn Johnson, author of "The Dead Beat," a 2006 book about obituaries told the Des Moines Register that billboard obituaries "invite a lot of bad taste."

Besides the poor resolution of old family photos, Johnson said: "It could cause accidents, right? Wouldn't you like drive into a telephone pole if you saw your neighbor up there and didn't know? ... What are you going to do, pull off and mourn?"

Tim Jameson of Clear Channel notes in the Register article that a call on a cell phone can be as big a distraction.

"If you think about it, the family living room is not the family living room," Jameson told Register reporter Gunnar Olson. "The living room is the minivan."

Writing prompt of the day: Have you thought about how your own death should be announced? Do your relatives know of your wishes?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo of billboard courtesy of popofatticus.

Five We Like: Another week of family history goodies

Larry Lehmer — 2009-10-30T09:34:53-05:00

There’s a lot of good family history information available on the Internet. Here are five places we’ve enjoyed visiting recently:

Monster Mash. Just for fun, from those clever folks over at JibJab, a toe-tapping little ditty to celebrate Halloween.

The Last Conversation. What would you say if you knew your conversation with a loved one was your last one? Truth is, many of us never know when that conversation might take place. This poignant post about one woman’s final talk to her mother illustrates the fragility of life.

Volcanoes, 9-11, and Personal History. Fellow personal historian Dawn Thurston reminds us in this blog post that it is important to place our own family histories in the proper historical context.

The Closet. Never underestimate the power of good storytelling as this 1-minute 14-second video shows. Thanks Kat Hansen for the tip.

The Curious Case of Ephraim Vancil. Dale Funston’s quest to learn more about his great-great-uncle Ephraim Vancil, a shoemaker in Iola, Kansas, led him down some improbable paths, raising some intriguing questions along the way.

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of OiMax.