Passion Foreva: A Lesson In Love

Confession Thursday (Week 3)

2011-03-24T13:29:00.002-04:00

Its that time again to let your feeling and thoughts flow free...... Go ahead and share.

Often times we keep things bottled up or we share information with a limited amount of friends. What do you with the information that you don't tell anyone because of the fear of being judge? Do you need a place to vent? An outlet where you can just express yourself openly and freely? If so... then I will like to welcome you to "Confession Thursday". Where the sky is the limit!!! Write about your most inner thoughts releasing any frustrations with topics covering love, money, sex, marriage or relationships... just write... The best part about it is that you can write anonymously.

If you are asking for my advice or if you have any questions that you need answers to, make sure you signed your post with a catchy name like "Lost in love", "horny at heart", or "He is just not cutting it" and I will reply back on "Reply Monday" to give you a fresh outlook on the week.

GO AHEAD CONFESSION what is in your heart, mind and soul.....
~Happy Posting!

Confession Thursday (Week 2)

2011-03-17T08:54:00.003-04:00

Its that time again to let your feeling and thoughts flow free...... Go ahead and share.

Reply Monday!!!

2011-03-14T23:59:00.002-04:00

I will like to take the time out and thank everyone for sharing your thoughts and secrets with me. Many time we need a place where can let things out freely. I am so happy that you found your place here at Passion Foreva's Lesson in love. You will help me become a better person and give better advice....

Now for what to you have been waiting for..... The Replies... I will add more tomorrow. I had a busy day today and was only able to answer a few but I promise I will put the rest up... Enjoy and don't forget about Confession Thursday's!

Dear Loveless,
What is it that your heart desires? What is it that you want out of life? The things that YOU want are these things that YOU can provide for yourself? These are questions that we have to ask ourselves.

You’ve said that you have been in a relationship for the last four (4) years and the love that you once felt for your partner is no longer as strong as it was in the beginning. So in other words you love your partner but you are not in love and you are wondering if you stay around longer can you fall back in love with him?

My answer: It is possible. Since I am not aware of all the details of your relationship or the causes of you falling out of love with your partner… I can say that you have some hope in restoring the love. I believe that all relationships have room for improvement and saving ONLY if both parties are willing to do what they have to do to save it.

This could be a situation where you are not in love with him and he is head over heels about you. Since I don’t want to assume anything my advice is to take a nice weekend vacation somewhere and do things that you would not normally do. Try timeshare promotions to different places. You can take a 5 day 4 night all inclusive vacation to Mexico, Aruba, even Hawaii for about $399 depending on where you want to stay. Once there, go out for drinks, if you go to the beach take a nice long walk and talk. I have found that by getting your partner out of their element, they tend to open up more.

The best part about it is that not only do you get a vacation out the deal you also get to rekindle and ignite that fire in your relationship. Also it will feel like how things were in the beginning when you were excited about learning something new about your partner.

Loveless, I wish you the best of luck. If this doesn’t work, only you know what is best for you.

Dear End the Marriage or Work it Out,
This was a tuff one for me. I am not sure what to say. I will NEVER advise someone to leave their mate and I would NEVER advise them to stay either. I am not sure of the dynamics of you relationship. I can only hope that you will find away to make things work so that no one would get hurt.

People have often said that the grass is not greener on the other side so with you wanting to end things you need to know why and what you hope to gain by leaving.

My advice: Is to take a piece of paper and place a line down the middle. On one side write all the things that your mate does wrong or have done wrong. On the other I want to write all the things that your mate does well or what he does to make you happy.

Flip the paper over, make another line down the middle and right behind all the things he done wrong write down why you want to leave him. On the other side it should be all the reason why you married him in the first place.

If one side out weighs the other side (I hope it’s the good side) you need to reevaluate your situation and come up ways to make it work. Take the advice that I gave Loveless and take a vacation and rekindle what was lost. Cheating is like a drug. It gets you high for a little while and has you on cloud nine but when it wears off…. (When you have to leave) so does that high.

Be sure that whatever decision you make is what you want to do and does not effect to many people.

Dear Where’s the love?

Men are crazy, LOL what more can I say. No but seriously, your relationship is fairly new and I am not sure why he has lost interest and is not doing the things that he once did before. Men like a challenge. So in the being it was a challenge to impress you and win your heart and now that he has it, he might feel like he doesn’t have to do those things anymore.

I have found that men are not very emotional people and they are not as we would say “in touch with their feminine side.” Women need to hear “ I Love You” and most men do not know how to vocalize that emotion. We actually prefer to hear it more than have the person show it. My advice is to show a different side of youeself. Men are predictable and they often think they know everything there is to know about their mate.

The secret is to show him no love! Yes you are reading correctly. Pay him no attention, go out with your friends and have a good time. The moment he thinks that it’s another man occupying your time the quicker he will get back on his job. You are his women and he will be willing to fight for you…. Now this may not work for everyone. So try it out for a week or two. If it start to cause any problems within your relationship STOP….. I don’t think you heard me STOP we would come up with another plan. Lol

I wish you the best of luck and have fun!

Dear Once a Cheater always a Cheater,

You made me take a step back. I had to think long and hard about the advice that I wanted to give you. I could be doing homework or cooking and I was thinking of a ways to answer your question. After thinking about your situations for a few days I think I finally came up with the perfect advice for you. As I have stated before, I will NEVER tell you to leave your partner and I will NEVER tell you to stay. What I need is for you to answer a question for me. What is your self worth? You need to think long and hard about this question.

You see me I am worth so much that I am priceless. Do you understand what I mean? Do you think you deserve the treatment that he is giving you? No one deserves to be cheated on although it happens from time to time. You are a goddess and should be treated as such. Have you ever wonder what do this other women have that you don’t? I am sure you did or do all the time. For one she has his heart. Honey….. you cannot control the matters of the heart.

We usually love the ones that don’t love us back and the ones that love us so much (which is what we need or say that we want) we won’t give them the time of day. Now I will not say that he don’t respect you, but it is obvious that he has a lack of respect for your relationship. Why are you second best when you are doing everything for this man? You cook, clean, and maybe wash his clothes but yet she gets all the fun. That is not fair. These are the things that you need to look at when making your final decision about what is best for you.

What’s funny is that we often ask god to send us a good man, or a sign that he is cheating, or a sign that you should up and leave and when we get these signs we often ignore them. Please look at the signs and ask yourself is this the way you want to continue living your life?, In the shadows of another women?

Whatever decision that you make I hope and pray that you come out on top. You can justify that he loves you more because he is sleeping in your bed or that he spends most of the time with you or when he is done with her, he comes back to you…. NOPE that won’t work!!! That is a bandage on an open wound. I see you coming out on top… You will be the last one smiling. You will be hurt for a while. But remember the same things that he is doing to you… he will do it to her.

I trust in my heart that you will find your way. Please keep me posted and I wish you the best of luck. Before I go,I wanted to make sure that I answer your question I do not believe that once a cheater always a cheater. I believe that if a person finds a person that treats them well and keep them happy then they will not stray away and will be more willing to do what needs to be done to make sure that the relationship work.

Dear Life isn’t fair,

You already know that life isn’t fair so there is really no need for me to tell you again. I know you have heard of the saying that all good things must come to an end and my friend it might be time. I understand that you cheated because you wanted something new and exciting. In the beginning things are always new and exciting just think about how your relationship was before with your partner.

If you want to stay with boyfriend number 1 find new ways to bring the excitement back t your relationship. If not you will be dealing with two problems instead of one. Take a break from boyfriend number 2 and try and place your focus on number 1 and see if things change. ~Good Luck

Dear What If,

Just like you, I often find myself thinking about what if this and what if that. I think that is what makes life so exciting. We can fantasize about the different outcomes of a situation. Most time things are better left unknown because when you do get a chance to find out, it is never really what we expected to be like for the second time around, so why spoil the fantasy? Cherish the moments that you have with this person. Maybe one day you could find out the answer to the questions that you seek.

~Good Luck

Confession Thursday

2011-03-10T01:11:00.000-05:00

Happy New Years!

2011-01-07T17:19:00.001-05:00

I am very sorry that I have not written in a while. With the new year and new things happening time has escaped me. Well i am back with some new topics and fun articles.

This is a New Year which means a New You. Start off by trying Covergirl new products. Be sure to check there page out daily for discounts and new product review.

Don’t open up to fast!

2010-12-09T13:10:00.001-05:00

Women are very talkative and we try so hard to impress the person of the opposite sex. Especially on a date, we want to tell this man everything we have done in our lives and even fabricate a few things thinking it will help us earn more brownie points.

Often times we don't realize that we are actually boring him and helping him lose interest faster. What ends up happening is that we tell him everything about ourselves on the first date that by the time the second date comes around (If there is a second date) he already know what he needs to know about you.... why? because you already told him. No one wants to go on a date where the person is talking non stop and wont allow you to get a word in.

Also no one wants a date that is filled with silence. IF this should ever happen to you, and you still want to spend time with him the best place for you guys to go is to the movies. That way after the movie you can have something to talk about. Hints..... eliminating the dead air. The worst thing that could happen is that you have talked so much about yourself that he really doesn't care to share anything about his self with you.

Never bring up pass relationships on your date: Think about it do you really want to know how much he loved his ex and all the things that she did wrong in their relationship. I don’t and neither does he. So that is a topic that should not come up….. Especially on the first date. If he happen to ask you “So what happened in your last relationship?”… It is best to just keep it short and simple. You should just say: Things didn’t work with us. We both were on different path and heading in different directions!” end of that topic…. NEXT

"Too many women tell intimate details of their lives way too soon. This is not only unwise, but also it doesn't work. No man wants to be the recipient of a therapy session upon first meeting you. No man wants to hear how wrong or messed up your life has been before he really loves you." ~ Taken from the "Rules"

After the first date a man should only know the facts: your name, your profession, how many siblings you have, where you went to college, where you grew up and your favorite restaurant. I would even go as far as what type of movies you like. I can hear your thoughts going a mile a minute trying to figure out how can your date be filled with only this information.

This can help determine the things you have in common as well offer you a lot of room to explore his mind. Guess what... you two might have went to the same college. This way you guys can discuss what you liked and didn't like about that particular school.

Remember the person who talks too much has the most to lose! I am not saying that you shouldn't talk... I am just saying don't talk to much.

Playing hard to get often pays off

2010-12-08T00:41:00.000-05:00

So I am reading this book about dating and relationships and I must tell you that I walk around with it like it is my bible. Some of the “Rules” inside this book I agree with and the other things that I don’t agree with. Someone once asked me if I were dating especially in this economy right now, what do I think is a good amount of time to go out on a date and see this person. I told her that he would have to see me 4 times a month.

I can see your face now…. You may be thinking that is not enough time to see someone that you are interested in and the other half think that this is the perfect amount of time. Think about it. There is 4 week in a month therefore if you see each other once a week then that equals 4 times a month correct? Out of those 4 outing 2 of those meeting should be a date and the other two times we could just hang out like go for a walk in the park or if your comfortable enough.. hang out at the person house. Just do something that doesn't cost a lot of money.

Please keep in mind that this is a new phase and the status of your relationship has yet to gain a title. Now the book says that when you are dating someone in the first month you shouldn't see them more than once a week, the second month you shouldn't see him twice a week and so on. You pretty much get the picture.

I happen to agree with this 100% because it supports my theory. It’s amazing how this book was written in 1995 but yet the "Rules" apply in 2010. For a minute I thought I was the smartest person in the world having already known the "Rules" before I even knew it was a "Rule". I guess you are wondering why limit yourself from getting to know someone when you are really interested in them? Well the answer is simple: Keep him from getting too much too soon. Don’t make seeing you so easy, Men like a challenge so they harder they have to work for you the better it will be… At least you will know that he is really interested in you.

Keep in mind: Most men fall in love faster than women; they also fall out of love faster!

Why is your life on Repeat?

2010-11-16T18:46:00.000-05:00

I can’t even count one hand how many people ask me why can’t they be loved right , why do they meet the same type/kind of person or why all my relationships end the time. No matter how much advice I give, it seems like the situations always ends the same way. I could never for the life of me understand why people ask you for your opinion and when you give it, it goes in one end and comes out the other.

I am slowly learning that everyone cannot handle or just don’t care for your advice. So this is the last time I am going to tell you my opinion about this situation. You have said that you are at a point in your life, where everything is working well and you are happy. You love yourself and you refuse to let anyone come and disturb your happiness but you will like to share your time with someone else.

When you meet people for some reason they always have issues. Instead of realizing that this is not what you need in your life YOU feel like you can help them with the problem which therefore brings drama in your life. It’s obvious that what this person is bring to the table you do not want to eat because you are going to have a hard time digesting the food. You refuse to see the signs and think that you have some magic to make everything different. This is incorrect. Please take the time out to get to know this person and look at all the signs they are giving to you. If you guys have been talking for two weeks, there is no reason why he/she should be looking at your phone and regulating who should and should not be calling you. This is a sign.

If he or she is calling constantly asking where you are and have no intentions on seeing you but they need to know where you are at all times…. This is a sign that they are controlling and have insecurities.

Take a second and review all the things that you want and don’t want in your life. If you see these signs no matter how much you like this person talk about them and then decide from there if this is a relationship that you will like to continue.

Good Luck!

Looking for love in all the wrong places

2010-11-04T10:21:00.000-04:00

I can’t even count on one hand how many times I’ve heard “Why can’t I find a good man/woman” or “why do I keep attracting the same kind of person?” The answer is simple…. Are you ready for it? Brace yourself…. It’s because you are looking for this person and when you seek you shall find.

Have you ever heard the saying “A good man/woman is hard to find?” this is because you DON’T FIND THEM THEY FIND YOU! The best things in life are worth waiting for. When we go out and date the reason why we keep attracting the same kind of person, which is usually not right for us is because we are settling for the first thing that makes us comfortable. I can see your face now. Yes you do settled, you settle for what is familiar to you. If you like your partner to have a lot of money to spend on you, then there is a price to pay.

You usually have to give them sex (Which comes with time anyway, and it’s a bonus if its good), be disrespected (Which often comes later when he/she is comfortable with you and know your ways) and you guys don’t spend enough time together because he/she has to get that paper. But you settle because this is something that you are already used to.

Therefore you are willing to deal with the problem. The first thing that usually comes to mind is “Oh he/she is just like ______________ oh well I dealt with this before I am just going to ride it until the wheels fall off. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that this is true all of the time but most of the time it is.

You have to take time out for yourself. You need to think about what you really want in a mate. If you have your TOP 5 list and if you keep in mind that you should not DATE WITHOUT A PURPOSE maybe….. Just maybe you will be one step closer in finding a mate that is right for you. Step out of your box and explore the world. (Not literally but open your dating options) “You never know” is what my daddy always says! The right person for you might be the person that YOU never thought would be right for you…..

Live a little….Happy exploring!

I'm Committed... What about you?

2010-11-02T06:34:00.000-04:00

The year now is 2010 and so many things have changed. We have a high unemployment rate and people are still getting laid off. This economy is hurting just as bad as we are. This is just one of the reason why you should go out and VOTE. Often times I hear “my vote doesn’t count” but they do! All those people who complain that their vote doesn’t count are the first ones to complain about something that government is doing wrong. Help Fix the problem and go out and vote. I am committed and I hope you are too…. See you at the polls! Also don't forget to turn your ballot over and vote on term limits. :-)

Dating Without A Purpose.

2010-10-26T01:01:00.001-04:00

By no means and I a relationship expert, but with my experience and knowledge along with the advice and experience from my girls, I think together we have some valuable information. The year now is 2010 and there should be no reason you should date without a purpose especially if you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life and to build a family with. Often times we just settle for the first person that ask us out but we never really think about what he/she really has to offer besides a free dinner and conversation.

My advice is to create your Top 5. Your Top 5 is a list of things that you want in a person that you would not budge on. For example…. He/She has to be African American, has to be educated, have a good job and must like children. These might be a few things that is on your list. So if you meet a guy/gal today and you think they are cute go after them! A closed mouth doesn’t get feed but within the first 5-10 minutes of the conversation you should ask these questions.

Once this is done you need to evaluate the situations. You find the person attractive, they have a good job and are very well educated BUT they don’t like kids. Please do not continue this conversation and if you do….. don’t take it further than that. There is no need to exchange numbers because clearly they are not what you are looking for. You will come out the loser.

It is obvious that you two are on two different pages. Keep in mind if they are telling you that they don’t want children now and don’t see any in their future but this is something that you want in your future. You are wasting your time and therefore dating without a purpose.

My point is, If you take the time out and make a realistic list you will be on the right path trying to find your perfect match. Happy Dating!

A Dedication to True Love: Sunrise 6.19.1990 - Sunset 9.11.2010

2010-10-25T12:51:00.001-04:00

Every one grieves differently and so many people have told me that “Time will heal all” But I often ask myself “Am I waiting for something that might not ever come?” When 9/11 happened I was so sad but it didn’t really hit me hard because I didn’t lose anyone. But this year it hit me like a ton of bricks. My little sister Sharita Yates aka “Sauce Gurl” passed away. In June 2009, Sharita was diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL). ALL makes up 80% of childhood acute leukemia’s. Most cases occur in children ages 3 - 7. The disease may also occur in adults.

In acute leukemia, cancerous cells multiply quickly and replace normal cells. Cancerous cells take over normal parts of the bone marrow, often causing low blood counts.

Most cases of ALL have no obvious cause. However, the following may play a role in the development of leukemia:

· Certain chromosome problems

· Radiation exposure or being exposed to x-rays before birth

· Past treatment with chemotherapy drugs

· Receiving a bone marrow transplant

· Toxins such as benzene

Sharita went through Chemo and finished her last treatment in December. Everything seems to be going well. Or so we thought. She went into remission and her cancer came back in the end of January. After going through Chemo and having radiation done on her full body she was still strong. She needed to do this to prepare for a Bone Marrow transplant.

Sharita got the Bone Marrow transplant August 12, 2010 (My son’s birthday) and was now in recovery. She was doing so well. Her skin was beautiful and She was just grateful that everything was going well. She had to spend 100 days in the hospital. She complained about missing the summer but the thought of being better and being able to do things later outweighed her grieve. As long as she had visitors, her cell phone and computer with internet access…… she was ok.

Her Bone Marrow never kicked in when we needed it to, she got sick in the hospital and everything went downhill from there. We all were so hopeful. I mean what family wouldn’t be? Sharita was a fighter and she fought until she could not fight no more. We lost a beautiful person on September 11, 2010. She may be gone but she will never be forgotten. May you rest in peace Rita Gurl and I dedicate my blog to you. You were always giving people advice on love. Although you were just 20 years old you had a lot of information to share with the world. I will love you forever!!!!!!

Information about ALL has been provided by Medline Plus. To learn more about Leukemia I have provided some links below:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000541.htm,

http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls

What do you have to offer?

2010-10-25T02:06:00.001-04:00

Since I have been out the dating world for so long I forgot that there are rules and steps to be successful in the dating world. To me a relationship is like cooking a good dish. You need different ingredients, time and patience to make your perfect dish perfect. If you still don’t understand what I mean? Let me break it down. First you need to know what it is that you are cooking.

In other words what are you looking for in a person/mate? Let’s say we are baking a cake. You already know that you need milk, eggs, flour and butter. This can be related to what attributes you want this person to have. Do you want them to be charming, funny, shy, sensitive, honest and my number one favorite supportive? These are things that you want them to bringing to the table. Your next question should be what do I have to offer? If he/she has the milk can I bring the eggs and flour?

Once all of the ingredients are mixed together it’s time to place the batter in the oven where the magic happens. Over time and with the help of the of the heat (this is your attraction to the other person) your cake will begins to rise, once done you have a beautiful and delicious product. And this is where your time and patience plays a huge part. In order for something to work you have to take the appropriate steps and times in making it happens. If something is missing, your cake will not rise and it will not be good.

Therefore once you find someone that peaks your interest take the steps to get to know them and build from there. This is something to think about the next time you are looking at potential people to be your mate.

Welcome

2010-10-25T01:58:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my page that is based on Life, Love, Sex, Dating,
Romance,Relationships, and the Power you have in controlling it. Inside my blog I will cover many of these aspects. You are more than welcome to post your comments and make suggestion about new and worthwhile topics. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for visiting and reading. Please be sure to follow me and check back for new post.