Signe Whitson

3 Steps for Improving Communication with a Passive Aggressive Spouse

2011-04-26T07:36:00.000-04:00

Check out this article about how to effectively confront passive aggressive behavior in your relationship, posted on Mom It Forward

Behavior: Improving Communication With Your Spouse

A Reality Rub RI on Survivor

2011-04-21T07:29:00.001-04:00

For LSCI Trainers and practitioners--as well as Survivor fans everywhere--here is a great example of a Timeline, Central Issue and Reality Rub, conducted by Jeff Probst at tribal council! The best part is the final minute of the clip. Let me know what you think!

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a cute baby hat for Spring. They have everything you need!

Parents, Don't Dress Your Girls Like Tramps by LZ Granderson

2011-04-20T05:21:00.000-04:00

"Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, 'No, and that's the end of it.'"

Just came across this article on CNN.com by LZ Granderson. It is so brilliantly written and so completely true regarding the clothing options available for young girls...and a parent's role in making decisions for their kids--cool points notwithstanding!

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html?hpt=T2

A designer clothes boutique is working with me to bring parenting articles to their community. If you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fun Spring pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

Empathy for the Bully?

2011-04-19T14:50:00.001-04:00

While empathizing with the victims of bullying comes naturally to most of us, this article, originally posted on Parentella.com, shows how understanding the roots of a bully's rage can benefit us all:

Empathy for the Bully?

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a cute baby hat for Spring. They have everything you need!

Re-Post: It's Alright if They Fight

2011-04-13T05:19:00.000-04:00

“Conversations in the family is crucially important, and it doesn’t matter what they are about. There is nothing more important a parent can do than talk to their children.”

Read on for a great article about the benefits of sibling rivalry by researcher, Claire Hughes, recently published in the Times, London.

Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/right+they+fight/4592024/story.html#ixzz1JOQhccJM

A designer clothes boutique is working with me to bring parenting articles to their community. If you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fun Spring pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

4 Rules for Ensuring Ethical Cell Phone Use by Kids

2011-04-11T19:48:00.001-04:00

The text of my post below was originally published on the website Parents are Important. I have been doing a lot of research and writing lately on the subject of girl bullying in the elementary school years--including focusing on ethical use of technology for youngsters:

4 Rules for Ensuring Ethical Cell Phone Use by Kids

There is much debate these days among professionals and parents about the “right” age for youngsters to begin carrying a cell phone. From “safety” to “convenience” and even the not-to-be-dismissed “fitting in with peers” arguments, what follows are four basic guidelines parents may want to consider, to set the tone for their kids’ “ethical” cell phone use:

1. Set Clear Guidelines on Usage

The most common reason cited by parents for giving their child a cell phone (or everyday use of one) is safety. Parents want to be able to get in touch with their kids at any point in the day and also want to be accessible when their kids need to initiate contact. On the other hand, the overwhelming majority of young people want cell phones in order to call and text their peers. When allowing a child to use a cell phone, be sure to set clear usage guidelines. Don’t think it overkill to put the rules in writing! Consider the specifics that are right for your family, in terms of:

•Who your child is allowed to call?

•How many minutes is he allowed to use each month?

•Is your child permitted to text? How many texts can be sent per day/week/month?

•Who pays the monthly cell phone bill?

•What are the consequences for violating the agreed upon guidelines?

2. Set Clear Guidelines on Etiquette

When the internet first became a powerful force in the lives of kids, the term “netiquette” was coined to describe ethical ways to interact while online. Though no equivalent phrase has yet emerged for cell phone use (cell-iquette??), it is important to talk to kids about how to treat others while texting. For example:

•Would I say the words I am texting to a person’s face?

•What would my parents think if they read this text?

•Could this photo I am sending cause hurt or embarrassment to me, my friends, my family, or anyone else?

•Can my text be taken out of context and used to hurt me or someone else?

Cell phones are a prime tool of bullying and relational aggression among young people, so being clear that texts and phone calls are not to be used as tools of gossip, exclusion, embarrassment, etc. is essential.

3. Privacy Guidelines

Parents are advised to let their kids know that they maintain the right to access their child’s cell phones at any time. While all parents want to trust their children, cell phones are such tempting tools for kids to engage in risky behavior that it is important for parents to let their kids know upfront that they will be reading texts, reviewing MMS messages, scrutinizing monthly bills, and engaging in any other kind of oversight that underscores the importance of ethical cell phone usage by kids.

4. Know the Lingo

Are you familiar with these text-friendly acronyms?

•LOL

•JK

•BRB

•ATM

Texting has a language all of its own. Laugh out Loud (LOL), Just Kidding (JK), and Be Right Back (BRB) are common enough, but while most parents take for granted that ATM stands for an Automatic Teller Machine, kids can tell you that it is more likely to refer to their being “at the mall.” The more parents educate themselves about the lingo their kids are using, the better able they are to monitor cell phone use and abuse

April Love Drop

2011-04-05T07:11:00.000-04:00

Hey guys! The Love Drop team is at it again! Last month they gave over $5,000 worth of cash and goods to their recipient, Katie, who had been battling a couple of brain tumors over the years, and it culminated with a surprise gift of 15+ friends showing up at her house to celebrate with her. It was awesome. You can watch how it all went down here.

This month they start all over again and grow support for the Kahlen's - a family who has been hit hard by the economy, and by their daughter's serious medical condition, tuberous sclerosis. In addition to financial assistance, they're planning to unite the artistic community to help support Kent's glassmaking work.

Want to help? Here are two ways you can participate:

Give $1.00 - This is the best way to help out and join their team at the same time.

Donate a piece of art - They will be hosting an auction this month, and would love to feature your artwork in it. Proceeds go to help the Kahlen's this month, and is a great way to promote your work :)

We'll let you know how it goes! Thanks everyone.

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a cute baby hat for Spring. They have everything you need!

Love Drop March Update

2011-04-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

Thanks to hundreds of hands working together last month, Love Drop #3 was a success! The organization raised over $2,800 for Katie, on top of dozens of gifts and services sent in from all across the country. More importantly, Love Drop surprised her with 15+ friends who literally showed up at her house to celebrate with her :) It was incredible.

You can watch the inspiring Love Drop video here.

Love Drop #4 to be posted tomorrow...stay tuned!

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about passive aggressive behavior, parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community. The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

Love Drop

2011-03-24T14:56:00.001-04:00

You come across the neatest ideas online! Last week, a friend pointed me to Love Drop, an innovative new website, set up as a micro-giving network of people who unite as a community to help one person or family each month. Every month, Love Drop delivers a unique combination of unexpected financial gifts, personal encouragement and the support of local and online communities. Check out this video that tells more about this unique giving organization:

Last month the Love Drop Team raised over $13,000 (and 3 iPads!) to help two little boys with autism receive a service dog. They were beyond touched, and the Love Drop community did this in only 1 month - that's it. Everyone came together and gave a few bucks each to impact one family's life.

This month, Love Drop will start all over again and rally behind Katie, a single mom out in Dallas battling not only two brain tumors so far (she's knocked out one, and currently working on the other), but who's also dealing with hydrocephalus. They're teaming up with folks at Blissdom this month to not only bring the community her way, but to make a huge dent in her medical bills.

Want to help? Here are 3 ways Love Drop could use you:

Give $1.00 - This is the best way to help out and join the Love Drop team at the same time.
Join Love Drop's Blogger Network - Blog about our Love Drops each month like I am :) It's easy, it's rewarding, and it REALLY helps spread the word (which in turn helps our families). Love Drop will give you all the content you need.
Give a gift or provide a service - Gift cards are always helpful. Places like Target, Safeway, gas stations, etc would definitely help them out.

Thanks for reading!

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a cute baby hat for Spring. They have everything you need!

Intentional Inefficiency at Chore Time

2011-03-08T07:01:00.000-05:00

So, we have this repetitive conversation at our house that goes something like this:

Children: Can we get a dog? We really want a pug.

Parents: We can get a dog when you girls show us that you are ready to take care of one. First, you have to show us that you can feed the kitties everyday withour needing 100 reminders.

Children: But Moooooooooooom! But Daaaaaaaaaaaad! We doooooooooooo.

Parents: (Laugh. Exchange knowing glances.)

Last night, my husband was on his 95th reminder to our older daughter to feed the kittens. Following her 75th, "I'll do it in a minute" (she simply pretended not to hear the first 20 requests, as she kept her eyes glued to her lady Gaga video on the computer screen), she all of a sudden got indignant:

"Fine. I'll do it right away. I don't know why you have to be so impatient about it, Dad!"

She runs to the kitty dishes. We hear the pouring of the food. A lot of pouring, in fact. She runs back to the computer with an angry smile on her face and resumes her dry-eyed screen stare.

My husband and I check out the kitty bowls. Oh, she fed them alright. The food dish overflowed with food. The water dish overflowed with instantly-soggy food. The mat underneath was covered in kibble. The cats were indeed fed. This ought to last 'em for a month!

For those counting the levels of passive aggressive behavior and keeping score, that's 75 incidents of temporary compliance and 1 heaping serving of intentional inefficiency for my passive aggressive cat feeder.

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about passive aggressive behavior, parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community. The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out

I'm Gonna Teach Her How to Flick 'Em!

2011-03-08T06:44:00.001-05:00

You just never know who you'll meet in line at Panera Bread.

So yesterday, I'm standing in line, hoping that my wiggly 5-year old daughter doesn't knock down the cookie display, when her booty-shaking antics attract the amused attention of the man behind us. He explains that he has raised 3 daughters himself and that my little mover reminds him of his eldest.

This trip down memory lane brings him to share with me several anecdotes (it was a long lunch-rush line!) about the trouble that his first-born created over the years. From demanding money (no $1's, Daddy!) to sneaking around with boyfriends, he laughingly recalled the struggles he went through with his lawyer-to-be eldest daughter.

Just when it was my turn to order, he shared with me the line that this Blog was waiting for:

"She has a daughter of her own now," he smiled. "So guess who taught their grandchild how to pick her nose in public?"

He laughed with a self-satisfied grin and a classic angry smile.

As I smiled, waved and turned my back to place my order at the counter, he guffawed, "Next, I'm gonna teach her how to flick 'em!"

Sometimes, passive aggressive revenge is years in the making, but look out, girls...dad is plotting!

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a cute baby hat for Spring. They have everything you need!

Tips for Becoming the Kind of Listener Your Family Needs

2011-03-07T10:49:00.000-05:00

Tips for Becoming the Kind of Listener Your Family Needs

Passive Aggression in the Workplace: Sabotage in Philly Pizza Shops

2011-03-02T20:59:00.001-05:00

Check out this news clip & video footage about passive aggressive workplace sabotage in several Philadelphia area pizza shops...GROSS!

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Let_s_Chow_Down__Philadelphia-117282943.html

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Special_Delivery___of_Mice_Philadelphia-117226223.html

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about passive aggressive behavior, parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community. The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

Passive Aggressive Facebook Posts

2011-02-24T15:26:00.002-05:00

Just saw this deliciously passive aggressive posting on Facebook:

A designer baby clothes boutique is partnering with me to reach out to the parents in their community. This season, as you do your holiday shopping for friends and family with young kids, please check them out for their great selection of unique headbands, infant hats and baby tutus

Massaging Numb Values on The Middle

2011-02-18T11:55:00.000-05:00

For my Life Space Crisis Intervention colleagues and those who have completed LSCI training--

Here is a great Massasging Numb Values clip from ABC's The Middle, featuring Sue Heck feeling overwhelmed with guilt and begging for punishment...

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a warm baby hat for winter. They have it all!

What’s Your Anger Expression Style?

2011-02-16T18:25:00.001-05:00

Is your daughter the type to come right out and tell you when she is feeling angry? Does she stuff her anger inside? Perhaps she is most likely to express her feelings in sneaky ways. Or maybe, when she is mad, the whole world knows about it—and better step aside! Whatever your child’s anger style, chances are she has developed it over the years and modeled it after…gulp…much-loved family members.

Click on the link below to complete an Anger Expression Style Quiz I developed for the website Mom It Forward:

What’s Your Anger Expression Style? Take This Quiz to Find Out

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community. The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

If You Say One More Word... Passive Aggressive Comments From the Back Seat!

2011-02-15T20:25:00.000-05:00

One of the funniest gals I know relayed this story about her son who is following in her comic footsteps...much to his demise in this instance:

The family of four is on a 5-minute drive to a nearby restaurant for a Valentine's Day dinner. Starting on minute one, the 4-year old son starts talking back to his father and just being disrespectful, in general. By minute four, approaching the restaurant parking lot, the dad has had it.

Dad: That's enough, Jack. No more talking back. If you say one more word, I'm going to turn this car around and take you home, and there will be no Valentine's Day dinner for you.

Jack: Thinks for a moment. Then, yells, "A!"

Dad: Turns the car abruptly and begins to head back towards home. "You are done! I am bringing you home."

Jack: But Dad! I only said "A!" That's not a word, it's only a letter!

Poor Jack--he couldn't resist that passive aggressive little dig at his dad, even at the known risk of losing dinner at his favorite restaurant. Classic Level 5 Self-depreciation!!

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a warm baby hat for winter. They have it all!

Passive Aggressive Laundry

2011-02-12T16:07:00.000-05:00

This morning at my kids' karate class, I overheard a woman telling her friend that she was so mad at her husband that she tossed a blanket that her son had vomited on in with her husband's laundry...how's that for passive aggressive?

Passive Aggressive Valentine’s Day Cards

2011-02-05T19:33:00.002-05:00

Check out the hilarious passive aggressive Valentines from the link below. They were hand-made by young Ryan, stuck making Valentine cards against his will. I love his honesty!!

Homemade Valentine’s Day Cards: How Our Family Tradition Began

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community. The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out

"I Don't Have Love:" Passive Aggressive Girl Wars on The Bachelor

2011-01-25T10:00:00.001-05:00

I can always rationalize my embarrassing taste in Reality TV by claiming that it's all for "research purposes." Afterall, I get all my best passive aggressive behavior examples from watching the likes of The Bachelor, Real Housewives, etc.

Here's a great clip from ABC's The Bachelor. Watch how one group of girls creates doubt in the mind of Michelle, the girl that the Bachelor has chosen for his coveted one-on-one date. Pay particular attention to the classic Angry Smile and (background cackle!) of the bearer of the bad news suggestion:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/209325/the-bachelor-week-4-part-1?c=1855:1886

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a warm baby hat for winter. They have it all!

Passive Aggressive lines on Facebook

2011-01-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

Best passive aggressive line I just saw online by a Facebook friend:

"Some people make me want to put a red sock in with their whites"

Top Children's Book Choices for No Name-Calling Week, Jan. 24-28th, 2011

2011-01-13T18:19:00.000-05:00

No Name-Calling Week will be celebrated in schools all over the United States during the week of January 24th-28th. As teachers and counselors plan group activities and discussions around this important theme, you can emphasize the same message at home with these great children’s and tweenage reads:

Jungle Bullies by Steven Kroll

Jungle Bullies is a picture book for preschoolers that uses rhyme and repetition to share important messages about standing up for yourself and learning to share. With engaging, child-friendly illustrations and inviting jungle animal characters, this is a great choice for introducing concepts about friendship and bullying to the youngest readers.

Chester Raccoon and the Big Bad Bully by Audrey Penn

When I saw this book on the bookstore end cap, I had to reach for it right away. Penn’s The Kissing Hand has always been one of my favorite tales (to this day, my five-year old, inspired by the book, still draws hearts on her palm whenever she is missing someone) so I knew I’d want to check out whatever Penn had written.

I have to admit that in my first read of the book, I wondered if this tale about turning a bully into a pal might be too simplistic and unrealistic of a message for young kids dealing with a troublesome bullying situation. I stand firm on this first impression, but also give weight to my thoughts after a second read, which are that teaching children to extend a hand of friendship is always a positive message and good initial strategy for approaching relationships. These varied reactions are exactly what make this book a good read for young children and a great discussion starter at home.

My Secret Bully by Trudi Ludwig

My Secret Bully, written for tween readers, lifts the lid off of the hidden culture of relational aggression, otherwise known as girl bullying. It tells the story of Monica and Katie—two girls who have been friends since Kindergarten, but who now are facing a rift in their relationship, as Katie begins to exclude and embarrass her former friend in front of their other classmates. In tackling this painful subject of the ways in which some girls use relationships as weapons, Ludwig provides an accurate and not-often-addressed portrait of a young girl’s anguish at the hands of a frenemy. My Secret Bully is not a light-hearted portrayal of bullying, nor does it offer pat answers. But it does address an important issue in the lives of upper elementary and middle school-aged girls and can serve as a great springboard for discussions with parents.

For more information, suggested resources, and additional discussion ideas, please visit the No Name-Calling Week website.

This blog article was first posted on 3 P's in a Pod on 1/13/11.

Passive Aggressive Signs on Modern Family

2011-01-06T07:36:00.000-05:00

Love this passive aggressive sign, created by an angry Claire, to stop the neighborhood speeder!

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community. The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

Passive Aggressive Provocation on Celebrity Rehab 4

2011-01-06T07:28:00.000-05:00

Watch this clip from Celebrity Rehab 4's meeting between patient/actor Jeremy London and his estranged wife, Melissa. Just prior to the sit-down with Dr. Drew, London learned that his wife sold damaging stories about him to the National Enquirer. In this meeting, Dr. Drew has asked him to hold off on addressing the subject until he is further into his sobriety (the main purpose of the meeting is to simply agree to a peaceful co-existence for the sake of the couple's young son). London does as he is told--sort of--by not confronting his wife about the Enquirer, but listen for the clear, passive aggressive provocations he lays out:

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Especially classic is London's facial expression after Melissa leaves the room, when Dr. Drew confronts his passive aggressive provocations. London's angry smile about Melissa going off like a "roman candle" is a clear indication of the purposefulness of London's passive aggression.

Also, Dr. Drew's direct, benign confrontation of London's provocation, both with Melissa in the room and after, is a great demonstration of the effectiveness of this approach with passive aggressive behavior.

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a warm baby hat for winter. They have it all!

What Was Your Best Christmas Ever, Mommy?

2010-12-20T14:19:00.003-05:00

Did you like to eat turkey when you were little?
Did Santa ever put coal in your stocking, Mommy?
Did you get to stay up ‘til midnight on New Year’s Eve?

My daughters love to hear stories about how I spent the holidays when I was young. And I like to indulge them, since most of the time it’s terribly difficult to convince them that I ever was young in the first place! This season, the big question has been, “What was your best Christmas ever, Mommy?” Their query has given me the great pleasure of re-living real highlights of past Christmases—and also embellishing the remembrances with made-up details about seeing reindeer on the roof, cleaning up Santa’s cookie crumbs, and dancing with elves at the North Pole (Yes, I know I’ll be on the naughty list for stretching the truth that far!)

I realize how blessed I am to have so many happy holiday memories:

• I tell my kids all about my youngest years, celebrating a Danish Christmas by waiting ‘til Christmas Eve to cut down our tree, and decorating it with my cousins while my grandmother played carols on the piano. We each ate a bowl of rise a la mande (a Danish rice pudding-type dish) and hoped that our portion would be the one with the hidden almond, which netted its finder a giant chocolate Santa Claus each year.

• I share stories about being a college student spending a semester in Seville, Spain, and having the joy of taking my visiting parents and brother to see an authentic Flamenco dance performance on Christmas Eve. My kids giggle when I tell them about how that same year I partook in the Spanish New Year’s Eve tradition of eating one grape for every time the bell tolled at midnight. The dozen grapes is said to bring luck for each of the 12 months of the New Year. My girls like to see how many grapes they can fit in their pint-sized mouths—five is the standing record, I believe.

• I think about each of my daughters’ first Christmas--the excitement of our first Noel with a first-born child and the peace of knowing our family was complete when our second daughter was born two weeks before Christmas in 2005. I show the girls the special tree ornaments we received as gifts from loving grandparents upon each of their births and the prized collection of homemade ornaments that the girls themselves have hand-crafted over the years.

“Yes, but which is the best Christmas of all?” they insist. When challenged to think in terms of superlatives and select the very best of the best, I realize an amazing thing. I am living it. Right now.

Today is the day I get to watch my five and seven year olds jump out of bed with joyful anticipation about where their Elf on the Shelf will be hiding, after his long trip to the North Pole and his daily report to Santa Claus on their holiday wishes. This week is the week in which every day we will spend time together, following our Advent Calendar’s family-centered directions to “play a card game” or “eat breakfast for dinner” or “stay up late to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on TV.” This month, I have the unique pleasure of watching dance parties to Christmas carols (and to Lady Gaga!) and helping my little pastry chefs decorate dozens of cookies for spades of holiday parties. This year, I feel the joy of Christmas through the magic of two little girls who still believe in Santa and want to leave carrots on the driveway for his reindeer on Christmas Eve.

I know that this is a precious moment in time in my life—one that will not last forever or ever be quite the same again. For the love of fancy Gingerbread Houses and squeals of sheer delight on Christmas morning, this Christmas is the very best Christmas ever!

This post was written for an entry into the baby clothes holiday writing contest. One lucky blogger will win a $50 Amazon gift card! For a chance to win see the baby clothes blog for more information.