Long live the beret!

I work… a lot. I started working in a church nursery as an adolescent and moved on to bagging groceries at 15. From then on I’ve had at least one job, but for the most part I’ve always had at least two jobs even when attending university. To some degree this has become a nasty little habit of mine, one that currently brings my job count to 4 or 5 depending on how you define a job. It’s allowed some bad financial decisions to go ignored and it really gets in the way of my creative aspirations.

But sometimes a second job can be the best way to get out of bad situation… if you do it right. So whether you’re thinking about a second job or you’re like me and you’re looking for a way out of a myriad of obligations, here’s some things to think about.

Always know why you’re taking a job. For”a little extra cash” is the worst reason for a second job ever. Without a specific goal for the increased income, second jobs are likely to increase your monthly spending, which in turn makes it difficult to quit even though months earlier your basics seemed covered without the extra hours. If you’re working to pay something off then make sure the money actually goes there. If you’re saving then put the income where it’s hard to get out. The only way a second job helps is if your standard of living stays the same while you’re doing it.

You are not alone. Whether or not you have a second job may ultimately be up to you, but it’s going to affect the people around you. Not only will you be out of the house more (with most jobs), you’re also going to have less time for chores and hanging out. When you are home you’re going to be a lot less energetic, at least at first. Nothing is worse than putting in an extra 20 hours a week and coming home to people that don’t appreciate it, especially when the reason they don’t appreciate it is that they’d rather have you than the extra cash. They’re going to be a whole lot more understanding if they know why you’re working and how long it should last. If they agree with your goal and hate you working, they can always help you reach the financial goal faster.

How much does the job cost? But not just in hours out of the house. Most jobs have hidden costs but the crazy thing is that second jobs usually cost more than primary ones.

• Second jobs affect meal times and increase eating out.
• You’ll have more laundry since appropriate dress for each job is usually different.
• You’ll be very tempted to use your extra income to pay for services you use to have time to do yourself i.e. dry cleaning, housekeeping, lawn maintenance.
• A lot of employers don’t withhold your income tax unless your yearly income would result in you actually owing taxes. That’s great if the job is your only job, but if it’s a second job you’re going to end up owing income tax at the end of the year.
• The more you work (especially in service jobs) the more times you’ll be sick a year. Which means more medical costs and more time away from your primary job.

Realize the social stigma. Some people are programmed to think that one job should be sufficient for everyone and they will take you less seriously in your career because of a side gig. My bartending side job results in a myriad of questions on a regular basis. Why do I work more than one job? Why in food service? Do I still work at my old job? If these kinds of questions bother you then a second job is going to add more stress than its worth. If that sort of thing doesn’t bother you or you’re borderline, come up with a humorous but evasive answer and give it religiously. They’ll get the point.

Never hide from your boss. Always be up front with your boss(es), especially in your career. A second job is going to affect your primary job. It just will. So make sure that your primary boss knows what you’re doing and that if there are any issues  you’re willing to scrap the second job at any moment. Additionally my side employers all know that my main job is king. If something comes up at the last minute I’m never going to miss a meeting or task with my primary employer. That can lead to some last minute phone calls explaining that I’ll be late or not able to work at all. If you’ve been up front then they can’t really complain.

What about you? Have you worked multiple jobs? Any tips to add?

There is a time in a person’s life when he realizes that every choice he’s ever made has been contributing to an image of who he is and what he believes. All his life he has been an artist dabbing bits of paint upon a canvas. Some strokes are brilliant, perfect uses of color and skill that project exactly who he is, while others are small and without passion… almost apologetic. At times he paints over earlier work and all too often he covers up his most promising work in an attempt to make it better, leaving what feels like only failure to be observed. At least that’s what he observes…

It is possible I believe to live long enough, to pursure who we want to be hard enough that we will eventually surpass those around us in the things we find so important. Eventually we will create a world that seems to them perfect and a persona where we seem expert, but our knowledge and discipline only show us how little we have grown or maybe how fare we have left to go. We see that the canvas others praise is superior only by perspective and that it lacks most of what we desired to achieve. It is at that point a decision must be made. Will we paint what makes us seem special to the very few? Or will we take the leap required to paint for ourselves?

Every time I hear someone use the tired line about how people should spend more time planning their lives than they do their weddings it makes me cringe. Not because our lives don’t take planning, but because a wedding can tell you so much about your future if you’ll let it.

I wish people would spend more time imagining the perfect wedding. They should dream up every piece of that day and create a perfect collage of what would make that day special. Some adjustments for budget and the availability of the King’s Guard may need to be dealt with but those things aside they should have in their mind what the beginning of forever with someone should look like.

And then when the stage is set, when everyone they love has taken their seat, and the music begins to play in their ears they should look and see if the person standing on the platform looks like they should even be allowed in the room. Because if they don’t fit perfectly into the fantasy… then you aren’t ready. Or they aren’t the one.

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying that every wedding should look like a photo shoot. I’m not saying that every wedding needs to look a perfect day of small town Italiana. But you know what you’ve dreamed of all your life. You have a picture inside your head and its there for a reason.

So many weddings… Too many weddings, sometimes. And as I attend each one I can see people constantly settling for things that mean nothing to them. They recite words they don’t believe because the preacher said they should. Invitations are withheld because someone said they couldn’t. They stand next to people holding a pose that neither of them feel natural in.

The wedding is not the first day of the rest of your lives… but the final audition. The chance to see if when you have months of planning and throngs of adoring help you can create an event together that will surpass even what your dreams had told you possible.

If you can do that… If you can deal with all the decisions, familial advice, and opinions. If you know each other well enough to design something that both of you can feel represents who you are as individuals and as a couple. Well then you’re not wasting time at all. You’re practicing all the things that will make the rest of your lives as beautiful as the first day.

Sarah Klassen/Haute Design: Inspiration: Wedding Day.

Shadow angels with red hair and bangs anyway.

Crystal Renn by Sebastian Kim for Vogue Germany October 2011.

Karlie Kloss for Free People January 2012 by Guy Aroch.

Jack Spade |Dog Stache Toy.

J. Panther Luggage Co.- The Aviator in tan leather.