Meditation for Beginners free mp3 audio 37 minutes

This free audio explains a simple way to begin using meditation for relaxation and stress reduction. It also covers what to expect when you begin to meditate so that you can avoid being surprised and become disappointed or frustrated. This will help you continue with your practice and become more successful and mindful in the process. It also explains suggested guidelines and what they are for so you don’t become distracted by what rules to follow or not follow.

Self Awareness and Mindfulness    Podcast #41    38 Min

Self Awareness, also called Mindfulness, is an important step to permanently changing your negative thoughts, emotional reactions, and self destructive behaviors.

What is a Belief?   (free audio podcast #40 37 min)

Beliefs not only alter how we see the world, but also how we see our selves.  Within a belief we can create a false identity of who we are; an ego identity.   We then falsely believe that this character of our imagination is us.  This is how we end up believing and feeling that we are not good enough, broken, unlovable, or that there is something wrong with us.  In reality there is nothing wrong with us.  At the central core of it all you are fine.  However you may not feel fine because you are having emotional reactions to all the negative thoughts in your head and false beliefs.

The Self Mastery program provides you a process to identify and change your false and fear based beliefs.  The first few sessions are free for you to sample.

Interview David about the Self Mastery Course Experience
Podcast Audio (42 min)

David first signed up for the free sessions in July and purchased the Basic Self Mastery series two months later in September.  When we did this interview in March he had only received the last of the Basic Series sessions about 2 months prior.  That’s not a lot of time to put all the tools and techniques together.  However he was making personal change in his emotional reactions and was feeling much better about being in the world as he learns to become more efficient with the tools he is learning.

David shared with me that when he came back from Afghanistan he didn’t feel like himself.  His emotional reactions weren’t appropriate.  The  ”thing” that gets turned on in your mind in a war zone that helps you to survive doesn’t just turn off when you get home.  His emotional and physiological systems were still operating in that heightened state for survival even when he was walking into the grocery story, the gas station, or going to the gym.  He realized that he needed to make some changes and found that the Self Mastery Course Exercises has helped.

Elements of Confusion (podcast 38   27 min)

If you want to implement changes in the way your mind works, how you feel emotionally, or negative behaviors, start by downloading and listening to the free audios from the Self Mastery Program

Anger Management mp3 audio  39 min

If you want to eliminate anger, and the core beliefs that cause anger follow the step by step process outlined in the Self Mastery Course.

Sexual Performance Anxiety (35 min) MP3 Audio

At the core of sexual performance anxiety are fear of failure, rejection from our partner, and self rejection.   These expressions take place in our mind and affect our emotions.  When we are caught up in these core beliefs of rejection our attention becomes so focused on these beliefs and emotions that we are no longer present with our partner and sexual experience.   At that point it is difficult to get aroused when what you are focused on is the beliefs in your head and the emotions they are producing.

In order to change this dynamic it is necessary to identify and change the beliefs causing projections in our imagination, and to unhook our attention from them and focus on what we are doing with our partner and our self.    This shift in our mental state is all parter of better awareness and mindfulness.

pod35-Spiritual Journey Interview (29 min)

She discovered that the journey wasn’t about the place, the mythology, or the history.  The important focus of the journey was her and the process for transforming the emotional quality of her life.

You can find out more about these spiritual  journeys and retreats on my events page.

Life of an Idea from Inception. mp3  34 min

Richard Dawkins term for ideas that live like parasites in the mind and have a life of their own is meme.   I suggest watching this video first.

This video from Dan Dennett on Memes and dangerous ideas that direct their host to kill the hosts of other meme’s is worth watching.

Scientist and author Richard Dawkins published “The Selfish Gene” in 1976.    Some background is provided here on this Wikipedia page.

Topics covered in this podcast include, ideas the the mind, how they act as parasites, references to the movie Inception, how ideas spread, have a life of their own, go viral, how our ideas control what we do.  Our mind is a host of ideas.

The Most Important Thing You Can Do For Your Happiness mp3 (38min)

For details on how you can take practical steps towards some of these most important things you can do the exercises in the Self Mastery Audio Program on my site.  The first few sessions are available free for you to sample.

Don Miguel Ruiz talks about the book, The Fifth Agreement.  It is a follow up and completes the teachings he started in The Four Agreements.  In this interview he talks about how the belief system of the creates a virtual reality, Judgment Day, Human Sacrifices going on today, How we distort Love, Having Respect for Your Self, How to use Doubt to question your beliefs,
Miguel also shares about the development of his son, Don Jose Luis, and his intense passion for the truth that inspired him to write the book together. As well as how they both experienced his heart attack and how we was facing death without fear.

In short the Fifth Agreement is “Be skeptical, but learn to listen.”  However just having this agreement doesn’t serve you as well unless you have the context of why it will lead you towards inner peace and happiness.   In The Fifth Agreement Don Miguel explains the structure of language, and how from language we create symbols in our mind to explain experiences of life with our rational mind.   He calls it knowledge.  Over the years that language of symbols becomes alive in our mind and takes on a life of it’s own until we can not even stop our own thinking.  We end up with a voice in our head that we can not control.  In the process we lose the experience of inner quiet and peace.  When you learn to be skeptical you take your faith out of all those symbols and recover the joy of peace and quiet in your own mind.

A link to Amazon.com where you can purchase a copy of The Fifth Agreement

Overcoming Anger and Anxiety using the Self Mastery Course (podcast 31 48min)

After the interview I share some insights on why I think Joe’s approach is successful.  He’s not approaching his emotional change with a sense of urgency.  Rather he’s consistently addressing what’s going on in his belief system  10 and 15 minutes at a time.  The fact that he’s working through things without being in a hurry means that it has a much larger strategic importance to him than just something you need to do in a hurry.  When we are trying to change things in a hurry it’s usually because there is a fear driving our urgency.  When you are trying to change an emotional state like anger or anxiety, and fear is driving you to do it, you are really only adding fuel to the fire.

An urgent approach is what you use when fear is driving your solution path.  And you’ll probably give up working on the change when your emotions cycle again.   A consistent approach is what you do when change is important enough to work at it long term.

Related Articles

The Self Mastery Course

Understanding Anger

What Causes Anger

PS…. Joe is a lawyer by trade…   If a lawyer can make embrace love, forgiveness, and happiness, then there’s hope for everyone.   Either that,,, or we just got the whole lawyer stereotype completely wrong.

Faith:  What You Don’t Know   (26min)

We’ll be delving deeper into the insights in don Miguel Ruiz’s new book, The Fifth Agreement, in future audios.   I think this one help fills in some gaps about the concept of faith and perhaps makes it a little less abstract.

Conscious Awakening Podcast #29  53 minutes

In this podcast I outline what is happening so you can keep the process in a larger perspective. When you wake up you have no control over this and it takes some work to develop control over your attention and begin dismantling beliefs.  The specific steps in how to do this and what to do are in the Self Mastery audio program.

Reasoning your way out of Fear  (mp3 40 min)

This podcast is from the site Pathway To Happiness

Focused on developing Self Awareness, Changing Core Beliefs, and Creating Happiness in your Relationships

Overcoming Fear of What Others Think of You (podcast #27 41 minutes)

This podcast probably won’t do every thing you need to strip away your fears, but will help you strip off one of the layers of resistance.

This podcast is part of my series on overcoming fears.  When overcoming fears it is not just a matter of letting go of fear.  You also have to work through the resistance to letting go of fear.   One level of this resistance is the illusion that our fears help us to be safe.   The claim I often hear people make is that their fears help them avoid dangers of getting hurt.   This appears true, but isn’t.  It isn’t the fear that helps us to be safe, but rather the heightened level of awareness that our fear raises that helps us to avoid painful outcomes.

Without awareness, fear could just as well be blinding us from something helpful.   When we are in a panic attack our fear doesn’t seem to help us at all.  We are so full of fear that we have difficulty seeing our way out.

So it is not the fear that helps us, but the heightened awareness that brings our attention to the situation that is the real help.   If you find your self defending fear, then it is likely that you are misunderstanding it’s merits.

You will find practical exercises and steps to overcoming the false beliefs that generate your fears in the Self Mastery audio program.

Overcoming Jealousy, Anger, and Controlling Behavior  mp3 (42min)

Becoming aware that we have a controlling side of our personality can be painful, but only if we judge our self.  However, not making changes in our controlling behavior is even more painful when we realize what it does to the people we love, and the people that love us.  Great relationships are based in respect.   You can’t be respectful, and believe you know better than someone else at the same time.

The first step in overcoming controlling behaviors of jealousy and anger is to change our perspective.   We have to start looking at things differently and see different choices before we can make those choices.

You can listen to the 7 1/2 minute short audio David mentions. It is on the page about Overcoming Jealousy.

You can access the Self Mastery course that David has found as a means for so much personal change by signing up for free.

Fear and Origins of the Financial Crisis  Podcast #25 (30min) mp3

Preventing future bubbles will not depend on good laws and government oversight, although that should help.   What is really needed is a dose of awareness and skillful skepticism at what is going on in the realm of the imagination in terms of assumptions and beliefs.  Skip becoming aware of how your mind creates illusions and we follow self destructive behaviors at your own peril.

It wasn’t just the general public that was caught in illusions.  The lobbyists, investment bankers, legislators, were in a world of assumptions when they put laws into place.  Unless of course you believe in those conspiracy theories that purport that high level banking types had a master plan in the meltdown.    In which case I propose to you that they were lost in even more subtle, and deeply fear based set of illusions.

Financial Fears and Money Worries mp3  Podcast #24  27min

Some people address their financial fears by trying to amass enough wealth so that they feel financially safe. The assumption is that their money will protect their health, their physical security, and even protect them from emotional suffering. The truth is that no amount of money can protect you from fear. Money doesn’t give your mind immunity from fear, and the false beliefs that cause you to be fearful. In fact, for some people, having more money only exaggerates their financial fears. Wealth will allow you to build physical barriers around you and hire a medical team to assist your health.  But the best protection against fear and other emotions of suffering is awareness.

To free your mind from fears, including financial fears, will take more than a good financial plan. It will take awareness and vigilance to keep your mind free from illusions, denial, and false hope that conspire to create emotional suffering.

In this podcast I address issues of denial about our financial situation, addressing resistance, and not judging or blaming our emotions of fear.  This just puts a layer of confusion in the mind as to what is happening.

The Self Mastery audio program will help you with exercises that raise your awareness, inventory and change your beliefs. It is awareness and consciousness that can free you from fear, not money.

Changing Your Life  – Follow up interview with Holly. (35 min mp3)

Fear Doctrine:  How Fear leads to Anger and Aggression  Podcast #22 (60min 30 MB)

People who choose aggression can be very intelligent.   Intelligence is no defense against the insanity of violence.  This is true whether that violence and anger takes place in our personal relationships, or international affairs.   Read the articles and chapters by Ben Ferencz ( I was not able to find some of the material that I had read earlier.  His website has changed but you can probably find it in his books or website if you look.  Here is a short excerpt below.

http://www.benferencz.org/

From his website

Now, I do not wish to compare any Americans to the Nazi leaders. But after hearing Rumsfeld’s words, I could not avoid being reminded of the argument put forward by the lead defendant in the Einsatzgruppen (Group of the SS in Germany under Hitler) trial at Nuremberg, S.S. General Otto Ohlendorf. When asked to explain why his unit murdered more than 90,000 Jews, including their children, the remorseless defendant casually explained that it was justified as anticipatory self-defense.

Germany anticipated an attack from the Soviet Union, Ohlendorf argued, and since Jews were perceived as supporters of Bolshevism, they presumably posed a potential future threat to German national interests. And if Jewish children knew that their parents had been executed, he continued, they, too, might become enemies of Germany, and therefore they had to be killed.

In a carefully reasoned judgment by the three judges presiding over the case — all of them American — Ohlendorf’s defense was held to be untenable, and the S.S. general was hanged.

Sixty years later, I am afraid, this and other lessons from Nuremberg are lost on the Bush administration.

Benjamin Ferencz was chief prosecutor in the Einsatzgruppen trial at Nuremburg.

http://www.benferencz.org/arts/85.html

Interesting read on the history of the CIA, Legacy of Ashes by Pulitzer Prize winning author Tim Weiner It should help Americans with a perspective of how much of the world sees the US.

From one of my favorite programs, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

From the interview of Dough Feith, asst Secretary of Defense under Donald Rumsfeld during the second Iraq war.  The specific line that points to the paradigm of fear is near the end of the second video. (time 9:55)  Jon Stewart’s reply is, “With that standard of evidence, we’d have to take out,,, maybe 15 countries.”  It all begins with assumptions based in fear.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=168128&title=doug-feith-pt.-1

Notice in the interview how the paradigm is different.  The type of thinking is different.  What is specifically different is the fear involved that drives the logic.  It is late in the second video that that Doug Feith specifically refers to “worry”.  Which is an intellectual and academic way of describing fear.  The principle difference in the point of view is that of the underlying assumptions of fear based beliefs.  The arguments you end up with very much depend on the assumptions you start with, and this is the real source of the problem of aggression and violence.

How to deal with agression

There is more to this answer than I can put in a post.  But certainly becoming an aggressor is not the answer.  It only leads to fear on the other side, and a reaction of aggression in return.   The first step is to address the reactions in your self, and that means dealing with your own fears.  That includes your fear of death.    I found this video about Sergio Vieira de Mello.  Perhaps his experience of what he learned in his life can help you.

Richard Feynman invites us to take another point of view and expand the way we question what we believe and what we do.

There are several more videos that follow this section that I don’t include here for space.  You can find them on Youtube.

A man who is not afraid is not aggressive; a man who has no sense of fear of any kind is really a free, a peaceful man. - Jiddu Krishnamurti

For specific practical exercises to identify and change core beliefs and perceptions of fear practice the work in the Self Mastery Audio Program. The first few exercises are free.

]]> http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/journal/2008/10/29/fear-leads-to-anger/feed/ 0 noFear is at the core of anger and aggression.  Yet we become so busy with the strategy of control and the act of aggression we rarely see the cause.   We can see the emotional dynamic at work whether we look at our internal thoughts, relationships, or the Gary van WarmerdamFear is at the core of anger and aggression.  Yet we become so busy with the strategy of control and the act of aggression we rarely see the cause.   We can see the emotional dynamic at work whether we look at our internal thoughts, relationships, or the macro relationships of countries.   The basis if [...]Happiness,self,awareness,consciousness,core,beliefs,spiritual,growth,personal,development,love,relationships,self,help,emotions,emotional,reactions,emotional,well,being,joy,gratitude,personal,growth,spiritual,growth,spiritual,four,agreementshttp://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/journal/2008/10/29/fear-leads-to-anger/http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/podcast/pod22-fear-leads-to-anger.mp3 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PathwayToHappiness/~3/-o4Ffa-ssCQ/ http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/journal/2008/07/25/spiritual-guide/#comments Fri, 25 Jul 2008 21:07:52 +0000 Gary van Warmerdam http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/journal/?p=38 If the emotional quality of your life and relationships were solely dependent on how smart you were then you wouldn’t need a teacher.  But that isn’t the case.  A book can’t teach or model for you self acceptance, respect, love, or gratitude.   Being happy in this chaotic world isn’t based on how smart you are.  Even changing beliefs or negative thoughts isn’t easier because you have a high IQ.

As this free audio explains, mastering your mind and emotions is more like a skill.  Swimming, playing an musical instrument, or flying an airplane are all skills.  If you wanted to learn any of these skills would you get a coach or mentor?    Then if you desired to change your emotional reactions and be happy, wouldn’t it make sense to get some good guidance as well?  More about this in this free audio.

The Value of a Spiritual Teacher or Guide  Free Audio Podcast (40 min 26 MB)

Understanding the Spiritual Journey        Free Audio Podcast #20 (43 min 19MB)

In this audio I attempt to put this in the language of common sense as much as possible.

Items covered in this free audio:

What is the value of ceremony and ritual?
Why reading all those self help and spiritual books won’t help much.
How do you measure your progress?
What is Dreaming?
What is the value of meditation, ceremony, ritual?
What is The Initiation of Death.

I also introduce the important element of your Point of Perception that is the critical element in determining all your beliefs and emotional state. Part of the intent of this podcast was to answer some of the questions I get about what goes on the Spiritual Journeys I lead.

People attempt to change a habit or addiction by going cold turkey. This often raises the expectation too high and can set a person up for failure if they don’t yet have a lot of personal power or discipline. The result is failing and self judgment. That can lead to more emotional suffering. The alternative is to perceive your addiction or habit as comprising many small habits and then to systematically change those small habits.

Overcoming Addictions and Changing habits Free mp3 audio (15 MB – 38min)

Each action we take that is negative or self destructive is based in a false belief. That belief is only powerful because you put your faith in that idea. The conceptual idea could be the idea that we are not worthy, lovable, or that we are smarter than someone else. We then act, on that belief in a way of action, or inaction. These actions or inactions often become habits because we maintain the same beliefs. When those habits are self destructive, and we have difficulty changing them we call them addictions.

When you change the core beliefs behind an action, it becomes easy to change the habit. The steps to changing a habit or addiction are:
Awareness and perception: You can not change what you are not aware of.
Desire: If you have no desire to make change, then you will take no action.
Intent and commitment: Your intent is the channeling of that desire towards a new expression or action that involves change.
New Action: A new action will replace your old habit. Sometimes that action might just be refrain.
Manage Expectations: If you set the bar too high, or have not prepared your self for your actions, you can fail. That will usually lead to self judgment.
Acceptance: What will derail your persistence is self judgment. When you judge your self as a failure, you can put your self into a downward emotional spiral. That emotional spiral starts with self judgment, and is broken when you practice self acceptance.
Persistence: Some habits are bigger than others and will take longer to break and replace. You may fall down many times, but it only matters how many times you stand up. Your ability to persist in breaking your habit or addiction, even after you have fallen, will be depend on your awareness, and desire.

The Self Mastery course offers practical exercises in building self awareness, changing beliefs, and self sabotaging habits and addictions.

Self Judgment mp3 Audio 31min

I cover all this in detail in this free audio on Self Judgment.

We can tell our selves we won’t be so hard on our selves, but that rarely changes the dynamic. In actuality, that bit of advice is very often a condemnation of a behavior we don’t like. When the self judgment in laced in the advice and good intention, it is like having poison in the medicine.

What does it take to stop being hard your self? In this audio I break down the belief system behind a self judgment. You’ll be able to see why those negative thoughts keep coming back. In the Self Mastery program I provide a series of exercises that allow you to let go of self judgment permanently. The first few exercises are free.

You can find out more about the course and programs provided at http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com

What is Faith? What is a Belief? What is the relationship between your emotions and what you believe? Do thoughts have power? Why it’s not that important to stop your negative thoughts. How can you recover your personal power? How do you heal a broken heart? These are all issues that I address in this Free MP3 Audio Podcast on Faith.

Recovering The Power of Your Faith (mp3 30min 13.7 mb)

Faith is a force. It is part of your life force. When you express your faith you are expressing part of your personal power. If you are seeking to develop more personal power, one of the fastest ways is to recover your faith from all the beliefs in your mind you have invested it in. You will find exercises and practices in how to recover the personal power of your faith in the Self Mastery Audio Series. The first several sessions are free.

This free audio gives some background awareness on the topic of faith, personal power, emotions, and relationships. You can find other free audio on Awareness and Consciousness in the podcast area on this site.

If you find this free material useful and helpful, then please take a moment to post it and share it on one of the social book marking sites listed below.

The link to this page is http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/journal/2008/01/24/faith-personal-power/

Listen to this Finding Your Self — MP3 Audio Podcast (29 min)

And get a lay of the land of the different worlds to be explored and the some areas of illusion that get in the way of knowing your Self.

It is this quest for personal integrity that forms the journey of the mythological hero. When you become self aware and conscious you realize that you are a multi-dimensional being and you live in a multidimensional world. It can appear complicated and confusing at the start, but when you have awareness, Life becomes clear and simple.

To Know Your Self does not mean to define your self. Being completely authentic is not a process of declaration or creating your self in any way. Finding Your Self is more a process of discovery. In that process of discovery you peel away all the layers of illusion and false self images that interfere with knowing and feeling authentic.

Note: This page is used for posting of podcast material. To view the main website content go to www.PathwayToHappiness.com You will also find more articles written at my blog on Happiness.

Free Will Audio mp3 (30 min)
Just how much does this make us live by an automatic program and how much of our own free choice remains? More importantly, can you regain your ability to choose and recover your personal will power so you can choose to be happy.

In this podcast I explore what free will is and whether a person has it. I also identify how people often delude themselves with the idea that they have free will.

For a quick measurement of your free will pick an emotion of happiness, gratitude, joy, or any other emotional state based in love. Then decide how long you want to feel that way. I suggest starting with a short period of time like one day. When you have an emotional reaction you will have either lost control over your choice, or lost control over your will power.

If you are going to recover your free will you are going to first have to admit when you don’t have it. This is a humbling step. However it is those with humility that shall inherit a new world of power.

For more on steps to take to recover and develop will power and create happiness in your life, download and listen to the free sessions in the Self Mastery Audio Program. 

How to tell if a relationship will work Podcast 14 mp3 audio

How can you tell if your relationship will work out? You have to learn what the critical factors are and then develop a level of awareness to notice those factors. Many people will say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. This is true. However there are fundamental elements that form the basis for good communication. If you don’t have the elements to support sharing and listening it will fall apart down the road.

At the same time two people who haven’t studied relationship communication may think that they communicate well. However they may not know what they don’t know. Important steps to improving your relationship skills is to first admit what you don’t know and be willing to learn more.

In the best selling book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking author Malcolm Gladwell shares insights on determining how a relationship will turn out. Researcher John Gottman can predict with 95% accuracy whether a couple will be together in 15 years or not. What is impressive is that he can do that with only about 30 minutes of information.
If you know what to look for, and have the awareness to see it when it is in front of you, you can tell a lot about a person and their relationships. Probably the most important place that we can use this awareness and insight is in our own relationships.

In this mp3 audio podcast I share my perspective on important ingredients in a healthy relationship. How to tell if a relationship will work out or whether it is headed for the rocks. I had recorded it before I read Gladwell’s book and it was interesting to note some of the similar themes.

What Gladwell doesn’t cover in the book is how to go about changing the sabotaging behaviors that destroy relationships. Robert Gottman might know how to do this. However he might have spent all his time learning the indicators that he hasn’t spent time developing a cure for relationship drama.

If you are interested in cleaning up the emotional drama and conflict from your relationship I suggest listening to and practicing the activities in the Self Mastery Audio Course.

It will help you identify and become aware of those tell tale signs that make a relationship work, and the signs that help determine if you should be looking elsewhere. More importantly it will give you the tools to change the attitudes, emotions, and behaviors you may not have been aware of before.

I want to highly recommend Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking“>Blink: Thinking without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell.   It is an extraordinary detailed look into a thin slice of time called judgment.  He does an amazing job of clarifying the subtle and yet powerful aspect awareness plays in our decisions.

In the book, The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz outlines a code of conduct for creating love and happiness in your life. One of his Four Agreements is “Don’t Take Anything Personally. In this podcast I describe some of the hidden assumptions that cause us to take things personally. I then explain how to stop taking things personally by shifting these interpretations. The first step is to identify these automatic assumptions and then by replacing them with new assumptions closer to the truth.

How to Stop Taking Things Personally. MP3 audio (28min) Podcast 12

It isn’t as easy as it seems. We have been conditioned over years to react emotionally in certain patterns. This is particularly true of people that we perceive to be of authority.

Listening to this podcast won’t give you immunity from emotional reactions. It will tell you what specific issues in the mental and emotional programming of the mind to be changed. I share an alternative interpretation of how to in perceive critical comments that will help.

If you are seriously interested in how to stop taking things personally and stop unwanted emotional reactions begin by practice the exercises in the Self Mastery Course.

For information about upcoming events:

Your Authentic Life Workshop in Zion National Park
Spiritual Power Journey to the Pyramids of Teotihuacan Mexico

MP3 Audio Understanding the Ego Mind and Consciousness (21MB)

In this audio podcast I touch upon fear and how we create resistance and obstacles to change and why some self help approaches don’t work. How your mind sabotages efforts for self improvement. However, because this is only a podcast and not a video cast you don’t get my wonderful illustrations and pictures of the mind to help with your understanding.

I also cover how we can go from one emotional reaction to another very quickly in our mind. How we end up judging our self for judging our self. I cover the importance of being the observer in stopping emotional reactions of the mind and how awareness is the key to awakening this observer consciousness.

When you understand this being a Spiritual Warrior and their quest to be free of the mind and emotional reactions makes a lot more sense. I even touch upon the topic of death and how we can use a ceremony to free ourselves from the ego mind and from its’ chatter and emotional reactions.

As consciousness we can perceive so many things in our mind from so many points of view. Understanding this capacity as consciousness to perceive in multiple dimensions is a helpful step in dealing with our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional reactions. It can help to realize that we are not going crazy as our consciousness expands through our personal and spiritual growth.

Miguel Ruiz mentions in the back of the Four Agreements that the next steps to take are awareness and to make an inventory of your core beliefs. These are important undertakings if one is to really live the principles of the Four Agreements. Exercises for increasing awareness and how to effectively make an inventory of beliefs are two of the items you will learn in the Self Mastery Audio course. These are two steps that people usually ignore, and is why they continue to struggle with emotional reactions and taking this personally.

What I cover isn’t new. It has been taught by many teachers in many traditions. I’ve only attempted to repackage it here in a language of common sense. Living a life of happiness is simple. We don’t need a lot of knowledge. We just need to dissolve the sabotaging stories and false beliefs in the mind so that we can focus our attention where and how we choose.
May happiness fill all the days of your life.

Podcast:  It’s possible to change your life mp3 (35min)

In this podcast I interview one of my self mastery audio course subscribers, Holly, who went to work making changes in her emotional state.  She not only wanted to rid her self of fear and judgments, she also wanted to get rid of old coping and compensating strategies that she spent so much energy on.  Holly call those energy draining strategies ”Murphy-Proofing”.   Holly was about 8 1/2 months into taking real action when we did this interview.  I think you will agree that it is possible to change your self, and your life. If Holly can do it, then you can do it.

To some people it might sound as if I am podcasting an infomercial.  It just turned out that we ended up talking about a process that worked for her.  I didn’t do the podcast to claim that my program will work for everyone or that everyone should do it and how great it is. I did this show because I so often get asked questions from people in fear and doubt about whether they can really make changes in their life.  Is it really possible to be happy?  It might take some effort and some actions that are unfamiliar, and maybe even uncomfortable, but it can be done.  It is possible to change the emotional quality of your life, and your relationships. It’s possible to be happy.  If Holly can do it, then other people can do it.

Fear of Emotional Change (mp3 Audio 30 min)

Those habits that we seek to let go of fight to stay alive in our personality.  When they react with fear to their impending end, we often mistake that fear as our own fear.  We might feel as if we are somehow going to die and that is uncomfortable.  In this way we resist change, even if the change will lead us to greater love and happiness.

Spiritual and religious traditions have often created ceremony and rituals around the death of false self images to help people move through this process.  The bottom line is that if we wish to make changes in our behavior and happiness, we will need to let go of aspects of our personality and be willing to let them die.  That process brings up a fear that we may be uncomfortable with.  In order to make real change towards happiness and love in our lives we will need the skills to deal with this fear of change.  This begins with awareness of what we are dealing with. 

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Overcoming Fear 

Fear is that emotional force that drives us in a direction away from joy, happiness, and love.  Fear can paralyze us to the point that we feel helpless and suffocated.  Often fear appears irrational, but it only looks this way at the surface.  When you scrutinize the stories and agreements you generally find a logical dynamic in the mind.  The trouble is that while the fearful logic is rational, the core beliefs at their foundation are not logical at all.  It is the core beliefs that are irrational. 

Podcast Audio: Overcoming Fear mp3 (24min)

If you have a desire to permanently overcome fear, then you will need to address the false core beliefs at their foundation.

Fear of public speaking isn’t about speaking in public.  It isn’t even about fear of failing, looking like an idiot, or other people judging you.  Failing, performing poorly, or other people’s opinion of us doesn’t hurt.  There is no emotional pain in any of these aspects.  However these events often trigger us to judge and reject ourselves.  It is self rejection that is emotionally painful.  The pain we seek to avoid is the pain of self rejection. The fear of public speaking is really a fear of triggering our own self rejection.

Self rejection is an act based on core beliefs about a false self image.   (See post and podcast on “feeling not good enough”

When you gain mastery over your beliefs you no longer believe stories of self rejection that occur in your imagination.  With Self Mastery you accept and love yourself just the way you are, no matter what.  With self acceptance you have immunity from emotional pain.  Without the threat of emotional pain you no longer have a reason to fear.  By practicing self acceptance you are no longer afraid of expressing yourself or failing.  You give your self permission to try something new.  You are not afraid of what others think about you.  You are not even afraid of what you will think of yourself.  No matter what happens you will not reject yourself.  When you no longer hurt your self in this way many of your fears go away.

Complete acceptance and unconditional love for your self will allow you to overcome your fears. 

Take the first step.  Make the agreement with yourself that you will accept and love yourself just the way you are no matter what.

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More articles at Pathway To Happiness

Podcast Audio: Identifying Core Beliefs

If you want to find and change your core beliefs begin with the internal dialogue. That’s the stuff you think and hear in your mind when you are all by yourself. Pay particular attention to the comments and stories that have a lot of emotional charge around them. You are likely to find the bigger core beliefs in the topics that have more emotional reactions.

Once you write down the internal dialogue you then go back and decipher the structure and meanings behind those words. A comment as simple as “I’m disappointed with my performance” has a number of imbedded beliefs beyond just the obvious.
1) There are criteria in the mind that we hold of how well we “should” have performed. Call these expectations. In the beginning they are often hidden until we have an emotional reaction and go looking for them.
2) The comparison of our self against this imaginary image is grounds for self rejection. This comparison is what the inner judge does.
3) We also have the belief that we deserve the self rejection that our inner judge is placing on us. This is a victim interpretation. If we didn’t at some level agree we wouldn’t accept this self judgment.
4) We might also hold the belief that emotional self rejection will somehow make us “better.” The idea that punishment will help us avoid a bad behavior in the future is usually learned very young. Motivation through self punishment is the dynamic the beliefs are dictating.

5) By this logic the more unhappy we become the successful we will be. Pretty twisted the mind is in creating unhappiness. The term “No Pain, No Gain” may work in the gym, but it is not a healthy way to exercise the mind.

In the process of identifying core beliefs it is prudent to include the characters of the judge and victim that create interpretations. They are a big part of how these core beliefs determine our emotional reactions, what we feel, and the actions we take.

When you really notice the logic of the belief system it’s any wonder why you would allow your mind to go making decisions and having emotional reactions without your oversight.

In this audio I introduce you to the idea of looking beyond the internal dialogue to find core beliefs that are at the source of emotional reactions and drama in relationships. But that is only part of the process. The real transformation happens when you change them.

How do you change core beliefs? I’ve managed to break that down into a simple process of many simple steps. It takes a little effort to learn and practice but once you know how to do it, it is simple. You can learn how to inventory and change core beliefs in the self mastery audio program. The first few sessions can be downloaded free just by signing up with an email address.

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Gossip and Impeccability 

You can find the reply at my new blog at impeccability and gossip

I wil be using this blog directory for podcasts only in the future.

Our body has physical desires, our emotions have a desire to express love, and our mind has a desire to have its beliefs and expectations met.  This can create some internal conflict that gets more complicated when we add another person’s desires to the mix.  The desires from the body and emotions are natural and intrinsic.  The needs of the mind are artificial and often put limitations and unnecessary criteria on our emotions. 

Love Relationships and Understanding Desire (mp3 Audio) Part 2

How do we deal with conflicts between what our mind says and what our emotions desire?  Being aware and conscious of the desires of the body, the emotions, and the mind create an opportunity to eliminate conflicts and make better choices. 

People often make a list in their mind of what they want in a partner or a relationship in order to satisfy their desires.   They have in their mind what the relationship should look like, how they are supposed to be and how their partner is supposed to be.  This list is what the mind assumes will satisfy the emotional and physical wants.  This list is usually filled with expectations and beliefs of what the mind wants.  When this happens the mind becomes the master and the emotions become secondary.  This is a recipe for conflict in relationships because the mind doesn’t usually have good information on satisfying our emotional needs. 

When the emotions of love and respect are given priority and the mind becomes the servant we have an opportunity for harmony.  By placing the emotional quality of the relationship as the priority we become aware of how we want to feel in our relationships.  How we feel becomes more important than what it looks like.  Our expectations and what it is supposed to look like become secondary.  Our mind then becomes the servant to make agreements, and manage expectations in order to honor the quality of love and respect.  The way we communicate becomes more respectful of how we feel and how our partner feels.  We address differences with the emotions of respect and kindness instead of with emotions of frustration and anger. We may still have disagreements to dissolve but we do it with a completely different approach. 

When the agenda in the relationship is to meet the expectations and agreements in the mind it is with the hope and desire to satisfy our emotional and physical desires.  We might as well recognize that the emotions are the priority and stop letting the mind place the expectations first.

More on understanding how we create emotional drama in relationships in my article on the Relationship Matrix 

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Love Relationships Part 1

Desires for a relationship come from deep within us.  They aren’t desires for a specific person so much as a need for expression and experience of connection and feeling that we can have with another person.  Those desires include the emotion of love, physical affection, and sexual satisfaction.  It is by satisfying our desires that we experience pleasure.  An intimate partner is a fabulous way to satisfy these desires, but not the only way.  The strength of these desires can be so strong when they are not met that they fee like yearning, or even painful aches.  The mind often seeks out relationship interactions to relieve us of these aches.

Relationship Desire mp3  (mp3 Audio ) Podcast

In a conscious aware relationship it is not just important to be present with our emotions and our desires.  We also need to manage the stories, expectations, and illusions in the mind that can create so much misunderstanding.  In this audio I outline some of the desires we have for relationships, and how the mind is programmed to create answers about satisfying those desires.  Of course the mind’s solution may not be the best one possible.  It can only choose the best one it sees within its limited paradigm of experience and beliefs.   This can lead to some unhappy and painful experiences in our relationships. 

Understanding relationships includes awareness of our physical and emotional desires, as well as the mental constructs and expectations our mind creates. Our mind often interprets that a partner, soul mate, or some special match will be the answer to our needs.  This is an exaggerated responsibility to place on our partner for our happiness and leads to emotional drama and reactions.

Our yearning is satisfied by the expression of our love, not by receiving it from someone else.   It is the mind that makes assumptions about how our deep feelings will be satisfied and those assumptions, learned from an emotionally dramatic society, are usually wrong.  In a truly conscious and aware relationship you will have to manage the beliefs and expectations in the mind to enjoy happiness all the time.

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Dear Gary,
How do you care enough about your body in order for it to be healthy, without getting too stressed about it?

Dear M,

TREAT YOUR BODY LIKE A DOG!

Treat your body like you would your favorite pet.  Would you feed your dog a candy bar?  Would you feed your body a diet coke?  Would you get your dog drunk or have it smoke cigarettes?  Would you feed your pet dog an extra helping of dessert?  No, and you wouldn’t let anybody else mistreat your dog that way either.

The remainder of this post is at the new blog
http://pathwaytohappiness.com/happiness/2006/12/07/core-beliefs-about-your-body/ 

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Money doesn’t buy happiness.  Happiness is an emotional state.  From one point of view inanimate objects can’t create emotions within us.  The things money can buy does allow us to occupy our mind with things that we love.  It is through the expression of love for what we do that we create happiness.  It is not the money’s doing. 

The Dalai Llama lost his home, many of his people, and his country.  By most standards he lost everything   He’s not unhappy.  For him happiness is simply a matter of focusing his attention and expressing love.

Children, whether they are wealthy, or have almost nothing, are happy.  Much happier than the average adult.  It only takes a few examples of being happy without money that breaks the rules or our assumptions.  If we think that money relates to happiness it is because we look to the average adult for an example. 

We don’t notice the powerful effects our mind plays in focusing our attention and expressing emotion in the process of creating happiness.  There is a whole middle part the mind plays between the money and the emotion of happiness.  If we discount it we miss the truth about what really creates happiness.

Children and those that have developed a self mastery over their mind and emotions have a great deal more insight into creating happiness than the average lottery winner.

Ideas from Mother Jones , Consermist, and Dr. Deborah Serani blogs

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