A word about conventions.

The actors who are on the shows that get promoted at cons are a very lucky bunch. You could be on a hit series like ER , but those shows don’t have fans dressing up in scrubs and getting in line to meet them. These days [...]]]> An Excerpt From “Pleasure Thresholds”…..

A word about conventions.

The actors who are on the shows that get promoted at cons are a very lucky bunch. You could be on a hit series like ER , but those shows don’t have fans dressing up in scrubs and getting in line to meet them. These days we are seeing more mainstream shows have their stars go to cons thanks to the success of the mega cons like San Diego Comicon. But nothing beats sci fi and horror fans.

We are the lucky few who have the opportunity to meet the folks who have bothered to find our show on syndicated TV or buy a ticket to our little horror movie. On the B5 set, we worked in a vacuum, playing in our Tin Can In Space. No one says “good job”, or “great work” other than your scene partner. The Powers That Be tend not to want their actors to think too much of themselves. So for us to have the chance to get out and meet you, is a very fine thing. You say nice things to us and buy our autographs, share stories about your lives, and introduce us to your kids. It’s a marvelous thing. It helps me to remember why I do this! Cause it’s not only Not Easy, it’s fucking brutal.
This business is set up to keep the power out of the actor’s hands. We have absolutely no control. Unless it’s the actor’s project to begin with, or they are the star the studio needs to sell it, actors are the bottom link of the chain of power. From the first conception of a script, and the producers start to search for a cast, actors are kept out of the circle of creativity. The breakdown of roles goes out to agents, it’s actually illegal for actors to have access to it. In what other business is it illegal for a person not to have access to job classifieds? Actors are discouraged from contacting casting people, directors, production companies, just about anyone who can help them, directly. Many actors find creative ways around the barriers set up against us. And we are constantly dealing with more and more barriers. My business ‘Talent To Go’ is all about helping actors navigate all this. We tend to feel helpless, alone, and in a constant position of neediness. My point to you is it’s really FUCKING HARD to be a working actor. Unless you are trying to do it, you have no idea. So when we have a chance to meet you and hear nice things, it can be so lovely. We all always networking and auditioning, or trying to. Just getting an audition these days is like winning the lottery. When you say, ‘Why don’t you get on Star Trek or Lost or Torchwood’, it hurts. ‘Why haven’t you been working?’ kills me. That can make me go into my room and not come out sober for a long time.

Breaking News: Actors are people. We all have to have other jobs to bring in the monthly nut. We have spouses, partners, kids, pets, houses , gardens, parents to care for , responsibilities to all kinds of things we care about. Unless you are a very famous actor on big shows, you don’t make more money than any one else in the USA on a yearly basis. Actors are middle class, if they are LUCKY. So please understand, I cannot fly to another city for the weekend without a lot of arrangements to cover these afore mentioned responsibilities, and that COSTS me money. I pay for a house, child and pet sitter. There is now a charge for your bags, so we pay for that. Transportation to and from the airport here in LA, plus food and water at the con, there are all kinds of costs you don’t think about. Actors have to invest in inventory such as pictures, DVDs, etc. I am always exhausted after a con weekend, so I need a day at least without too much going on when I return, so I am hiring an assistant to cover me then too.
If I am selling autographs and other products, please know I am only charging what is fair, but I will charge money. You only need my autograph once, or twice on things. Once you have it, you never need it again. It’s not like selling soap, clothes or food!
On Facebook or Twitter I am asked all the time why don’t I go to this con or that.
Once again, actors have no power. We can only go to a con when we have been invited. I am not showing up, and paying my own airfare or hotel. I need the con to promote me so the fans will come who want to see me, and get my autograph. I know some of the footloose and fancy free actors will pop into a con. But they are usually single and childless! That is certainly not going to be me. I cannot come for free. The best way fans can help their favorite actors to come to a con, is to contact the con promoters and request them. That way the promoter knows they can sell some tickets based on that actor’s attendance. Thank you for your understanding.

Sometimes a con promoter will lie to the fans about an actor who doesn’t make it to the con. This just happened to me. We (my manger and I) were in negotiations for a midwestern convention. It was only a few weeks away. While I said yes I was interested, we didn’t have a full agreement. When we looked into the airline tickets, the only seats available would have me changing planes 2 and 3 times, and only on the ground at the con for about 36 hours. That wasn’t going to work for me so we asked to book me for next year, and we’d have plenty of time to get better tickets so I could be at the con for the whole 3 days. Done. So I thought. I found out through a friend that I was being promoted at the con. They were selling tickets based on my appearance and lying to the fans. While my manager went after them to take that down, they then put up a table at the con with a poster as if I were coming in any minute. They kept telling the fans I missed my plane, then my plane was delayed etc. They never copped to the fact I wasn’t coming. I still have fans asking why I didn’t show! Now I can’t ever do that show. Many con promoters are people without a moral compass. You may never know what happens behind the scenes, but actors get screwed all the time by these people. We make deals to get paid at the con instead of paid in advance, because we know times are hard and the con needs the gate to pay the actors, and then we never see the money. Happens all the time.
So I have a very specific contract to get me to conventions safely, and without losing money. I simply can’t afford to travel without it. I know it seems to many folks like hey, you’re getting food, and we are paying for your pictures, you get to have fun and tell stories…how hard can it be? I hope I have shared enough here so you understand what it takes for us to leave our homes to come meet you.

Preparing for a con weekend has gotten harder for me for some reason. There is more anxiety around traveling since 9/11. I need to make sure I have what I need but that it doesn’t weigh too much. I have to print enough pictures, have the right pens, and any other materials for my table. I need to look nice for you so I plan outfits for every event. At home I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. On the road, I wear much nicer stuff. Hey you are paying to see me, I had better look good! Or as good as I can anyway. There is communication to have in place with my office, house, pet and child sitters. Then there’s the Energy Factor. While I do love people, it takes a lot of energy to constantly be ‘up’ and ‘on’. It’s hard to hear in those big rooms with all the noise so I’m straining to hear folks and trying to keep up with the conversation. Some cons require the actors to sit at a table all day. That makes me feel like a monkey in a zoo. I get agitated if I am not busy. And kind of mortified, just sitting there like an old relic. So I end up running around the place talking to people and looking at the cool stuff in the Dealer’s Room I wish I could buy. Makes my handlers crazy. After a con weekend, just the energy drain can flatten me for days.

I realize that watching a favorite TV show every week can become a rather intimate experience. We are in your living rooms, sometimes bedrooms, with you on a regular basis. You think about the show and the characters and they become a part of your personal life. We share family time, meals, and lives. I get it! I do it too! I was devastated when Buffy went off the air. But the is a reality line that gets crossed. I am often treated like someone who is well known to the fan. They tell me “Gee you look fatter than the last time I saw you.” People also seem to forget that actors are mortal, and we age just like everyone else. Please don’t be mean to us about it. We can’t help it! I know you just saw us on TV looking the same after 20 years but I promise you we will look different in person. I should think you’d find it comforting, but some seem to think it’s a failing on our part. I know actors who will not go to cons or even out much because they find it so hurtful. Often I am chastised for some event that happened on the show, disappointing the fan. “You are so mean to Zack. Why don’t you give him a chance?”
“You should have used your powers to save Byron. That was really stupid.”
I cannot TELL you how many times I hear “Oh you already know that. You can read my mind.” Or “Oh I hope you can’t read my mind now, you’d slap my face.” Just fair warning to anyone out there who likes to tread those fine lines; I am a real redhead and I have a famous temper. I will not be held responsible. You have been informed.

Doing conventions can be awesome. I love to travel. And even though most of the time there isn’t enough hours in the day to fulfill my obligation to the con and see the sights, I enjoy going to new places. I really love people, as many of you know who have met me. Meeting you is a highlight for me. I really appreciate you buying my products. I try to make things special for you. Like this book; something different and personal from me that you cannot get anywhere else. When you go to a con, don’t you almost always come back with great stories? I have tremendous memories of the places I have gone and people I have met or the antics of my fellow actors (OMG, right?) . Some of them are in this book! See photo of Rick Biggs in the Klingon jail! Being able to go with my friends from other shows and get silly is so fun! See the photos of me with the Lone Gunmen! Babylon 5 and X-Files had expos going on Navy Pier in my hometown at the same time. I had worked with Mitch Pileggi on a film called “Shocker” and decided to crash their show at the end of the day, and we all went out for food. There was a whole storyline thought up that sodden evening in a Chicago pub , we had decided Lyta’s next boyfriend should be one of them. Not a good storyline of course, but we thought it was brilliant at the time. This is what I mean. Little mini adventures happen at cons!
So while most actors are happy to come to your local convention, we need certain things in place to help us make it happen. That’s up to the organizers of the con. Let them know you’d like us to come and maybe all our dreams will come true!

December 8, 2011 is the Seventh Annual It’s Time To Talk Day, a day that is dedicated to just this one goal: to start and continue [...]]]> “LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT. If you are a victim of relationship abuse, know two things: It is not your fault. And there are people who want to help you.”

December 8, 2011 is the Seventh Annual It’s Time To Talk Day, a day that is dedicated to just this one goal: to start and continue conversations about relationship abuse, domestic violence, and emotional abuse, to join together in making an effort to raise awareness and reverse the humbling statistics:
• 1 in 3 women will be in an abusive relationship in her lifetime.
• On average, more than three women a day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States.
• Teenage girls are reporting dating abuse at rates higher than women, which makes them the most at-risk group for abuse in America.
• One in five tweens—ages 11 to 14—say their friends are victims of emotional, physical or verbal dating violence.

I am joining bloggers all over the country in helping to raise awareness and let women know they are not alone, not crazy and there is help. Check out Stacy Morrison’s blog here.

Abuse is a systematic take down of a woman’s self esteem. You need to know that you can get help from people who care.

I wrote a bit about the abuse I endured as a child and young woman in my book Pleasure Thresholds. I have met women all over the world who are currently in abusive relationships and do not seek the help they need because they cannot see it. If you know a woman in an emotional , physical or sexually abusive relationship, guide her to one of these sites. Talk to her. Stacy Morrison has some helpful conversation points on her blog, link above. There are also other links to more information.
You could help someone by sharing this information! Thank you!

*Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a safer computer, call your local hotline, and/or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224

When Jaclyn Easton, my publisher ( I just like saying that) first talked to me about this book, I remember think 2 things; First, I had been encouraged to write a book before about my stories and was completely bored by the idea. Second, that since this was to be based on my [...]]]> Unexpected Pleasures:

When Jaclyn Easton, my publisher ( I just like saying that) first talked to me about this book, I remember think 2 things; First, I had been encouraged to write a book before about my stories and was completely bored by the idea. Second, that since this was to be based on my photographs, it was just fun and easy, nothing too hard or personal.

Man, was I wrong.

This hasn’t been boring for one second. I have had a lot of feelings about it; scared, appalled, amused, surprised, deeply saddened, excited, hopeful, and completely horrified. But bored?

Not for one second.

I work hard to stay on top of my powerful inclination towards insecurity. Honestly, I think insecurity and perfectionism are just forms of self indulgence and procrastination. And I am a master of both the former, merely an apprentice of the later (unfortunately). o.0

Just get to work, Pat. Boy this project has been a magnetic pull towards fear. I did a stunt where I was hanging off a draw bridge on the East Coast. The bridge got stuck and they didn’t want me to drop before the camera was ready. But it was freezing cold and I was losing the feelings in my fingers. I watched in horror as my grip did a Wiley Coyote One-finger-at-a-time peel off the metal bar I was grasping and I fell 50 feet into ice cold water. I have relived that feeling many times on this book project.

On the phone with JMS last night, I was afraid he didn’t like the book. I got a huge lump in my throat and my chest ached. He didn’t say anything like that, and I know he is in my corner. But that beast rose up inside me, you know the one who always makes sure you don’t enjoy anything too much? The one that as soon as you feel good about yourself, reminds you of all the times you fucked up? Yeah, well mine is a Dementor, sucking the happiness and positive energy from my universe.

Every time Jaclyn calls with news on how the sales are going, my Dementor hisses that my sales are too low and she’s trying to keep my spirits up, but there is huge disappointment on the other side of the line.
Kids, there is nothing anyone else can do for us. You and I and our self destructive beasts are on our own. We are bottomless black holes and no one can fill up those voids but US. So I am here to tell you, I get it. You are NOT alone and we can get better. We may never be those happy go lucky types (fuckers), but we can be happier, and more pleasant to be around (which is not a big leap in my case). Baby steps. And as we take them, there will be some surprising changes we cannot anticipate.

Here’s one of mine;

As I dug through my dusty past, and found all these photos from the early to late 1990s, I laughed. Photos that before I was happy to bury, I now found a happy reminder of moments I was too busy, preoccupied or full of self loathing to enjoy in the moment. No longer embarrassed, just amused. And I just started talking to Jason and Cynthia Davis about all the stories the photos brought up. Jason edited this book, but he did so much more that that. He kept me on track and encouraged me. He knows all the details, dates, facts and names about Babylon 5 that I either forgot or never knew. He had fantastic suggestions, thank god! Of all the stories I recounted, he helped to focus the best ones into the book. I had no perspective because this feeling was completely new to me. Every thing was a discovery. Shit has been so bad for so long, that these moments were shining out of my dusty photo boxes like little suns. All of them precious. I found love too. You are going to have to read the book to understand that comment because it’s too big for a blog. I saw that I had loved someone for many years, but things hadn’t aligned for us yet. It has happened, now. For how long, I have no idea.

It’s my Patronus… in the shape of a Super Hero.

I am getting ready to head out of town for a week and get some writing done. I’d love to know what you’d like to [...]]]> Friends,
Does anyone have the contact info for Thomas the Corseter who was at Comicon? He had a booth. I lost his biz card. Nothing shows up in Google.

I am getting ready to head out of town for a week and get some writing done. I’d love to know what you’d like to know about for my book Pleasure Thresholds. It needs to be B5 related, or about me and my life. I think I’m dull so I would think B5 is far more interesting. What would you like to know that you haven’t already heard?

Con stories? About the cast? You name it!
I am adding content to the version that was released for Comicon. There will be new pictures and some of the photos in the SDCC version will be removed. If you sign up for the release alert at www.b5pat.com, you’ll get $10 off! It’s also signed by me personally. I’m using a quill, seriously!
I really appreciate your feedback!
xo,
Pat