Pattaya and Bangkok Expat Nightlife and Views

Pulp Fiction and Divorce And Why Many Men Go to Thailand

2006-08-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

If you've seen the movie Pulp fiction you
may remember a classic seen where
Maynard and Zed took Butch and Marsellus
Wallace down in the basement, had them
don gag balls in the mouth and took
Wallace into the back room.

Nothing good ever happens in the back
room of the basement, lets face it.

Sure enough Zed starts throwing a pounding
on Marsellus Wallace that the hillbilly in
Deliverance would have been proud of. Butch
tied up at this point, gets loose.

Instead of booking it, he grabs a sword and goes
to save Marsellus Wallace, who actually wanted
to kill him.

Wallace is saved but still had to put up with the
the rapist Zed working him from behind for quite
a long time...10 seconds would be an eternity.

After saving him, Butch (Bruce Willis) says to
Wallace (Ving Rhames):
"You ok".

To which Wallace replies:
"Nah man, I'm pretty fuckin' far from OK. "

This is not unlike the feeling that most men deal
with after getting divorced. I know guys who are
left to live on less than 30% of their paycheck,
lost the house, kids, self-respect...what a world.

Many of them have to deal with the fact that the
ex is banging some charmer in their house, their
bed...

It's no wonder many men go in search of a simpler
way of life. Follow the rules your whole life, and still
come out feeling like Marsellus Wallace.

If you don't have a plan B, that's a bummer!

Bangkok Babyon by Jerry Hopkins

2006-08-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite authors is Jerry Hopkins.
I've read nearly all his books and two favorites
are Bangkok Babylon and Thailand Confidential.
If you haven't read either, you should check
him out.

Hopkins has penned a number of excellent
books. Earlier in his career he was an editor
for Rolling Stone and wrote biographies on
Elvis and Jim Morrison.

Later Hopkins moved to Thailand and wrote
several books on Thai culture, from exotic
foods to expat commentaries. I find his books
on Thai culture brutally honest and hilarious.

Jerry has lived in Thailand for years and offers
a great perspective on a number of issues.
Jerry married a bar girl, so you know this is
a guy who walks the walk.

You can see all of Jerry Hopkins books at his
website:
www.JerryHopkins.com

Internet Dating World of the BBW

2006-08-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

Another Internet Dating
Exclusive From Pattayajoe

Here's an alternative situation, hypothetical of course.

You've just gone through a shitty 20 year marriage,
now divorced it crossed your mind that you'd like to
get laid.

You're entitled to some female companionship, you've
put kids through college, given up the house you paid
for and even send out money routinely. How you wound
up the suckbag you'll never know, you seem to be paying
for everything for everyone.

Reality is, you're really not that bad of a guy.

Before you know it, you've found yourself in the BBW chat
room...you think you've found a sure thing!

Hell, wouldn't find me there...

BBW meaning 'Big Beautiful Woman, although the beautiful
is purely subjective. You think they should change the
name to BW, Big Woman. But hey, big girls need love to,
or so the saying goes. The fact is, you're hornier than
a bucket full of bullhead, so a younger woman with big
hooters sounds like a good idea.

So you do the instant messenger thing and start courting
some bigger chicks. You're in your 40's and start chatting
with some early to mid twenties BBW's.

You figure your chances are good. Most the guys this age
are green as crab apples and are chasing playmates, you
figure the BBW road warriors will jump at the chance
to hit the sack with a stud like yourself.

The reality sets in..."oh no, I'm a chubby chaser".

Then you ask yourself, is this what's it has come to?
There must be a better way. There must be a place where
a nice financially successful guy can get back in the
game.

You start searching on the internet and find some sites
of some older guys who are actually happy in the dating
scene, they seem to actually be enjoying life, until the
machine catches up with them...read the Viagra Papers
Part 1 here!

Welcome to South Asia!

Dodgy Farang Types

2006-08-13T06:38:00.000-07:00

Was doing some blog reading today and ran
across a blog that spoke of "those dodgy
farang types".

Basically the author was pointing out that
for the most part we're all a bunch of heavy
issued suckbags. The author was some
english guy, or she pretended to be.

First off, he might have a point...but do we
really need some pussy telling us? I mean,
who else does he think is going to read this
blog outside of us dodgy farang types?

I suppose he thinks he'll get pc points from
the oprah book of the month club group. Those
pc types don't really care about Pattaya bro...it
doesn't make their ratings go up, matter of fact
it makes them go down.

You may have farts that smell like roses,
but there are those of us who are a little rougher
around the edges. We use to be referred to as men,
but now because of guys like you we're dodgy, pigs,
vermin.

Pattaya is the party capital of the world. Consider
yourself lucky to have been there. Next time you
get a chance to go, take off your skirt and walk into
any bar. You might like what you see and you might
get some interesting conversation from some of us
dodgy farang types.

There are those of us who are:
1. Writers
2. Former lawyers
3. Businessmen
4. Construction workers
5. Suckbags
6. All around good guys
7. Shitheads

Matter of fact, it's not a lot different from walking into
any bar in your own hometown...except of course there's
a lot of exotic women who don't piss and moan as much
are you're used to.

Pattaya Video Here...

2006-08-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

Surfing around the other day I found this
great little video on Pattaya nightlife...I'm
getting a yearning for the ocean!!!

Enjoy!

Pattaya Video Click Here

Plastic Society

2006-08-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

Although I love my country, the USA, it has some
serious issues. Issues that I don't think she'll ever
overcome. The states is never able to overcome an
issue that's detrimental when that same issue is
financially strong.

For one thing nothing about life in the states is real.
Let's look at some examples:

1. Television stars and medai personalities
are full of liposuction, breast implants,
face lifts, and of course shit.

2. Athletes - a serious steroid problem exists
and has existed for years. Leagues, players,
fans and the media have chosen to look the
other way for one reason, keep the money
rolling in. Nary a natural body in the
group.

3. Online life - enter a chat room lately?
Filled with fake bots, phone sex girls
and other of the ilk. You can't even
be a happy wanker.

4. Politics - politics in the states is meant
to do one thing, manipulate the masses. Their
are huge industries that have been created
for this. Wilsonian idealism at its best.
Candidates on both sides are a joke. Forget
the good of the country, it's either right or
left, democrat or republican.

5. Marriage - marriage is a farce. Divorce rates
are well over 50%, I think near 75%. The reason
nobody does anything about it? Well, it's a huge
industry of course, lawyers, counselors and other
block sucking leaches.

6. News - the news outlets have all but been monopolized
and have merely become pr firms for the government.
We haven't had unbiased news for years, it's
disgraceful.

This list could go on and on..

The fact of the matter is, this society is going right
down the shit shoot.

Me...I'll take what's real. Running in the Pattaya
sand and living life. Nursing a beer, scoping the babes,
writing my books...

Dingleberry Picker Needed

2006-08-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

Watching fox news last night, I felt like
punishing myself, I heard that Madonna
was back in the news.

Now, I'm not much of a businessman, but
I think it goes like this...the material girl
has a pr firm or group of publicists that she
pays huge bucks to, huge!

The pay back is if the American public buys
it and she gets the investment back 10 fold.
So far, the American public has yet to let her
down. God bless her for pulling off the scam
that she does.

If I was in any bar in Bangkok I honestly could
see her having a hard time coming up with any
bar fines...for the month.

Time in and time out these American scam artists
are able to pull it off, it's amazing. Years ago I'd be
called a cynic, today I'm called a realist as more and
more people are realizing they're merely pawns in
a ridiculous marketing game.

When it comes down to it, what do you really need?
Food, water...and exotic women, nuff said.

Am I Counting the Days?

2006-08-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

One of the few people who knows that I'm
leaving for Thailand soon asked me "Are you
counting the days?"

Everytime I hear the word "folks" in a meeting
today, it causes me to count the friggin' days.
I'm not quite sure how this became a corporate
american buzz word, but today it's only rivalled
by "action item", an oldie but a goodie.

Anytime I sit down in a meeting and here someone
say...
"we've talked with the folks at the coporate divisoin"
...I immediately know the guy is an asshole.

I leave the meeting, see myself sitting on the beach
in Pattaya or Phuket, staring at the peaches and
getting grilled shrimp brought out to me.

So am I counting the days, yeah I'm counting the
fuckin' days!

Advice to Mel Gibson, Sit Down and Shut Up

2006-08-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

Mel Gibson was accused of making anit-semetic
remarks. Okay...

Who among us hasn't uttered the N work or
made derogatory comments on anothers race. It's
not right, but we don't live in a perfect world either.

Yes, I know...not you. It's like all the grade school
boys, none of them are jerking off...ejaculate is basted
on their hands, but not a wanker in the crowd.

So to make matters worse, Mel makes ridiculous comments
born out of panic to the effect of "I want the jewish community
to help me and let me find the way".

Come on Mel. Here's my advice:
1. Sit down
2. Shut up
3. Wait it out for two weeks

By that time there'll be something else in the news that
removes you completely...Pam Anderson gets caught
blowing someone, Michael Jackson get accused of being
a diddler again, the USA starts bombing some defenseless
country.

Take a suck pill and hang in there!!!

Erectile Dysfunction Market

2006-08-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

On the subject of culture in the states and sex...
never has there been such a problem with men
not wanting to have sex with their wives.

You have products selling like hot cakes such
as:

Better sex life courses

Pills to make your schlong longer

Erectile dysfunction pills

The market is so big, it doesn't even bear trying
to enter it...

Many times erectile dysfunction is not ED at
all, it's simply a matter of not being attracted to
someone.

When I'm in the states, the number of men I see
that aren't happy being with their woman is staggering.
Just by looking, you can tell...little wonder that the
online porno interest makes so much money,
sexually frustration is rampid.

I bring this up because I was talking to a friend of mine
the other day who stays in Bangkok, he's about 60 and
his girlfriend is mid-thirties. Another person I know made
a derogatory remark about this.

I asked this person, "what age is it for a man that a
gorgeous woman is no longer attractive?"

This of course went unanswered but what can you do...

Hazards In Pattaya

2006-07-31T07:39:00.000-07:00

According to a leading British Insurance company,
the most common problems that Brits in Pattaya
face are:
Food poisoning
Theft
Traffic accidents
Loss of belongings

I tried to compare this to what I see as my most
common hazards in Pattaya and do a comparison.

My most common hazards:
1. General Assholery - This usually happens by
lard-ass farangs who are drinking too much and
need to broadcast the fact that they're loud and
ignorant. Probably homesick.

2. Random dog who looks like they have rabies.
Anyone ever been approached by one of these
fuckers? I love dogs but I've seen some seedy
bastards in pattaya.

Those are my big 2.

I've never had food poisoning in Pattaya. I got it
bad in Bangkok, but now I'm very careful about
what I eat. After a while of being in Thailand you
tend to build up a tolerance.

As far as theft and loss of belongings, I travel very
light and keep almost nothing in my person. Bottom
line is I don't have much to get ripped off.

I also wide track busy streets and have grown eyes
in the back of my head. Ever since a friend of mine
got hit by a taxi on the sidewalk in Bangkok, I
constantly look around in white knuckle terror.

Tale of 2 Western Women

2006-07-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, two women needed lots
of attention...lots!

So much in fact that they decided to take
on the courts so they could get married to
one another, being lesbians they were entitled.

Once married, like typical western women, the
rush of getting married soon passed over, so the
obvious solution to interject some excitement
into their pathetic lives was of course...adopting
children.

A really bad idea in what turned out to be a long
history of bad ideas.

So of course children only interjected more work
and not excitement...so it looks like our two
lesbians had been had.

They shortly divorced...much to everyones surprise.

In a culture where women are brought up to
constantly have the spotlight shined on them, these
stories are common.

Waa-Hooo

2006-07-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

Wa-Hoooo!

Retire to shit point Idaho...NOT!

Other Reasons I'm Happy To Be In Thailand

2006-07-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Today's music sucks large.

Even the kids are listening to older music.
It's not a matter of like it was when we
were younger and our parents music was
awful, the new music legitimately blows.

I have a theory on this. Because those who
are in their 20's are basically generation
sissification, sucked on mommy's tit for
so long...they never really experienced the
emotional needs to be creative.

Back in the 70's, your father was either a
WW2 dad who kicked you in the nuts every
day, or he left...

As a result, we had some of the greatest
rock music of all time. Take a time warp
back to the late 70's, and you'll remember
such classic albums as:

Back in Black
Frampton Comes Alive
Rumours
The Wall

None of this shit that you here today.

Land of Crappy Food

2006-07-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

I'm in the airport in Detroit, and the heffer
says to her friend, "we're going to the land of
crappy food. All the good food is here in the
United States."

Now...as far as being an expert in food from the
states, I have no doubt. It didn't look like she
ever missed a meal her whole life, with an ass
the stood 12 axe handles wide.

Best food is in the states?

But, this is the typical reaction of someone from
the states who hasn't ventured outside of the
country and sampled the faire from other
countries.

Detroit is an international hub with many flights
going to Asia. I can't imagine any Asian country
that would make a shitty food list, with the
possible exception of Pinay food. At least while
I was there, the food sucked.

Anyway, the point is, western wenches generally
suck.

Moving to Farang-Land

2006-07-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

No doubt most westerners who move to
Thailand have the wrong idea, and not
enough money.

Chances of getting a job that pays decent
are slim, unless some company from the
states or Europe sends you to Bangkok
with home-pay.

If you don't have enough, you'll squander
away. Maybe even turn into one of those
poor hideous souls that hang out in the
alleyways of Pattaya.

If you choose to move to Thailand, you must
have the income. The best you can do is have
residual monthly income that you can derive
from sources in the states or Europe, and you
don't need to be there.

This is easier said than done, and requires a
thinking cap...but I'm doing it, and without
a doubt, I'm a slacker.

The obvious thing to try is some sort of web
based business. But be careful...there are
a gazilion scumbags trying to sell info on how
to make money on the web, and the only real
money they've ever made was selling that
info to suckers. They've never actually made
money selling anything...I've bought a ton of
useless shit.

Once I started making money, I realized most
was useless.

Shit-Point Idaho

2006-07-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Been off posting for a couple days due to having
to work...travelled to the south to do some
software installations.

Which of course only fuels my fire to make me
want to get the fuck out of here faster.

On the way there, I picked up a magazine which
had an article on retirement. One of the hidden
gems of retiring in the states, according to them,
was Sand Point Idaho. Paaaaaaaaarty!!!

I can't imagine a more miserable existance. You
work a suck job your whole life, then retire to a
near death existence to the fish and fowel
capital of the world.

What could possibly make a man yearn for death
more? Or die of complete boredom.

In retirement or not, you've got to live and fell
alive.

77 And What It Means to YOU

2006-07-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

I got several emails regarding this post,
here...

I must say, the story did strike home.

The average life expectancy is 77! At
least according to some sensus I read.
Despite this, people spend hours, days,
and years being stressed out about shit
that will not mean anything to anyone,
especially when they're gone.

If you haven't been enjoying life, it's time
to start now. You don't have to become a
total train wreck and go apeshit, just
evaulate your life, find out what's not
making you happy, and see what you're
able to change.

This is the exact thing I did to start the
process to move to Pattaya and live on
the beach. I've always wanted to do this.

I never wanted a mansion, just a nice
place where I could see and walk to the
beach.

The planning for what you'd like your
life to be like starts now. You never know
when it will be too late.

McDonald's Ass Syndrome

2006-07-13T05:52:00.000-07:00

If you've been travelling to Bangkok for
some time, you're not doubt beginning to
notice more fat people as the years wear
on.

Food marketing giants and corporations aren't
satisfied with getting all Americans addicted
to sugars and fats, they won't be content
until they spread their poison throughout
each and every continent with their processed
shitty food.

In Thailand most Thai will eat many times a
day, but these meals are small, portion
controlled, and consist of fish and meats that
aren't processed. They do eat noodles and rice
in small quantities, as well as sweets.

Inject the marketing mindset of the mega-
coporations who have a product that already
sells, and a target audience that wants to be
like the west, and you've got it...a chance to
ruin another culture by making them fat, lazy
and apathetic.

That food should be outlawed.

Let me head off the "well they don't have to
eat it" emails. I hate being emailed by stupid
people who are unconsciously ignorant.

You don't need to stop at red lights either, but
you're suppose to, and it's a law. Why? Because
it's bad for you health not too.

Is this how it ends?

2006-07-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

You're an older man, alone. Not rich but
you have enough.

You've left the rat race for your time in the
sun. Sun, beach, drinks, very nice female
companionship.

You wonder why you didn't come to Pattaya
long ago, you love it so much. Everything
seems so distant, like a dream...did your
previous life really suck the johnson bar
that much?

And then it happens...you die!

http://www.pattayapeople.com/archive/news1731-may2006.php

Should Have Learned His Lesson

2006-07-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

Took the in-laws to the Hard Rock Cafe
in Niagara Falls last night. A table made
up of about 10 people from Quebec had
quite a night.

They were there to celebrate a birthday,
but as the evening progressed a 50ish
man at the table gave an engagement ring
to a woman of the same age. She was not
too bad looking, trying to hold it together,
and was working some big boobs she no
doubt used to rope this poor sap in.

The women at the table have no doubt
enveloped enough peter in their day to
rival a sick gaggle of whores.

After getting that wedding ring she was
no doubt going to blow his socks off, but
she had the face that she is without a
doubt going to turn into madam ballbuster
within days of marriage.

The groom to be had no doubt been through
the mill. He had the look of hard time with
women tatooed on his face, but unfortunately
he still hasn't learned his lesson.

He's never been to Bangkok...and it just might
be too late.

White Trash Central, Casinos Suck

2006-07-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

In-laws are in from Thailand, I took them to
Niagara Falls.

Took the In-law to a casino in upstate New York,
and I must say the I was impressed by the White
Trash factor...rock bottom!

Which is of course why I hate casinos and I don't
gamble. No better sign of big business having a
license to print money and preying on the slugs
of society.

Funny thing is, you always have to listen to
everyone and how they're winning...sure they
are.

Those casinos don't look the way they do because
people are winning. And the casinos, those fuckers,
I saw some poor slob actually doing ok in blackjack
for a few hands and wouldn't you know, the big
heffer pit boss chick came right over and made
the 5 dollar table a $25 dollar table.

Of course this poor slug had to do, judging by his
clothes, chocolate stained t shirt, cum stained
sweats...he wasn't in a position to battle the
house.

In-Laws In the States

2006-07-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

The shoe's on the other foot now as my
in-laws are visiting the states from Bangkok.
No matter who I meet from Thailand in the
states, they always want to eat Thai food in
the states as opponsed to our routine fare.

The same does not hold true for when farang
are in Thailand, most want to eat Thai food,
and get their fix with the occasional steak, if
you can find a good one.

It will be interesting to see what Thai restaurants
they actually find comparable to those in Bangkok.
I have a few that I like, but whenever I bring a
Thai national there they seem unimpressed.

Often times we'll just cook in. If you've never
been in a house where some authentic Thai
cooking is going on, you need to experience it.
The fiery peppers are ground down very fine
and are circulating in the air, when you walk by,
if you take a healthy hit, it's like getting maced
as you run for cover.

The Viagra Papers...Part 1

2006-07-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

Late Breaking News!!!

A pattayajoe exclusvie...

Although seemingly insignificant, Rush "Lard-Arse"
Limbaugh's Viagra bust will have an impact on those
"hard" working farangs and expats after all.

In a pattayajoe exclusive, we've intercepted some
high-level conversations from those in power.

Sir, we've got major issues. Although we've caught
that fat fuck with Viagra and no one really cares,
after looking further into the issue we've got some
absolutely staggering information.

Yes JB, please, go on...

Well, apparently, there's a segment of expatriots in
Thailand who have actually got their hands on the blue pill
are are using it for totally selfish indulgent reasons.
They're taking Viagra and Cialis in high quantities,
banging hot chicks and actually enjoying life.

Oh no...

Yes Sir, and it gets worse. They've taken all the
money they've made here in the states and leveraged
the strength of the dollar, and are living like kings.

Good God...do you mean to tell me they've thumbed their
nose at the proverbial treadmill we've sent them up
on and they found a way to remove themselves from our
slave society?

Sir, I'm afraid so sir...

Oh my...

And sir, I've left out one thing. Some of them are actually
writing about their experiences on the internet in blogs so
the common beasts can read it for themselves. I'm afraid
we've got to act fast.

Coming Soon...Part 2

Magnanimous Shitbums In Pattaya...

2006-07-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

If you're a farang living in the land of smiles
and you come across a group of male teens
that have that look in their eye, just cross
the street and stay out of harms way.

Forget that "I have a right to be here" bullshit,
save that for those in the states or whereever it
is you come from.

Recently 3 GIGANTIC pussies attacked a
reporter, who was alone (of course), by kicking
him off his bike as he was travelling. A real ballsy
move.

Then when he went to call police, they attacked
him with a foot long knife. This resulted in a skirmish
that caused the death of a police volunteer, who was
also an electrician at the View Talay, where many
farang live.
Story here:
http://www.pattayapeople.com/archive/news1740-june2006.php

There is much available for those who have extra
testosterone in Thailand rather than picking on
defenseless bicycle riders. Many Muay Thai camps
are open, you just have to show up and prove your
balls. Then again, attacking a defenseless man on a
bicycle, I guess we know the answer to the balls
question.

Be on the lookout for assholes at all times, cross the
street where you have to, jump into the coffe shop
if need be...don't be a hero. You've seen them walking
around, many of these shitbums are just walking around
waiting to cause a homicide.