http://www.paulstips.com/ Paul's tips - What I've learned about life and how it can help you PaulsTipshttp://feedburner.google.comhttp://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/14012008-Take-the-initiative-in-establishing-new-relationshipsThe world is filled with people who are dissatisfied with the state of their relationships. They think they haven't got enough others in their lives, or else they believe the others they have aren't up to scratch. Whether it's friendships that are missing or something more, a lack of satisfactory relationships is a common complaint.Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:12:36 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/10012008-Always-be-looking-for-new-ways-to-enrich-your-lifeOne problem I notice a lot is people stomping over the same ground all the time. They find a few things they like, or that reward them, then they just keep trying to wring out every last drop of juice from those sources.Wed, 09 Jan 2008 21:18:49 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/03012008-Work-hard-to-give-yourself-lots-of-options-and-opportunitiesAlways finish what you start, is an adage that many people try to follow. And it's a good one in a lot of ways. But it probably focusses too much on the importance of the entire process towards achieving a goal. Generally, it's the earlier part that's most important, in my view.Wed, 02 Jan 2008 22:46:49 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/01012008-Learn-how-to-give-up-one-pleasurable-thing-for-anotherWe humans are funny creatures. We seem to be part animal on one side, and part angel on the other. When I go to the zoo and I observe the creatures there, I'm often struck by how similar their behaviours and motivations are to our own. They act on lust, hunger, power, love and anger, just as we do.Mon, 31 Dec 2007 21:23:39 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/17122007-Bring-on-the-bad-newsA common problem for people who are unsuccessful is that they slavishly avoid bad news. If such news has to be received, they prefer to put it off as long as possible. Often, they prefer to dodge it altogether.Sun, 16 Dec 2007 20:59:03 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/13122007-Assertiveness-is-about-balanceWe've all met people who have a problem understanding assertiveness. Often, they're people who've spent much of their lives being walked over. One day, they get sick of putting up with this behaviour from others and do a complete flip. Suddenly, they're so busy being "assertive" that they don't realise how much they're annoying those around them.Tue, 11 Dec 2007 23:06:05 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/04122007-Dont-fall-into-the-habit-of-finding-excuses-not-to-take-actionSometimes it's good not to take action. It's just not called for under some circumstances and can actually make things worse. I've written about this before.Mon, 03 Dec 2007 22:46:57 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/03122007-Operate-in-the-real-worldI grew up in a somewhat academic family. Many of my parent's friend are academics, and I've spent a lot of time socialising with such people. My own career has been mostly in the business world. What strikes me is how different their world-view of how things operate is to what I've experienced.Sun, 02 Dec 2007 21:32:39 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/22112007-The-worlds-best-investmentMany people don't think of it consciously, but much of our lives are spent deciding how to invest our resources. Families decide whether to move into a bigger house, or save their money and stay in the current one. Young women decide which man they should bet their reproductive potential on. Workers ponder what they should do with their holidays. And so on.Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:12:13 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/20112007-Give-away-lots-of-little-giftsIt amazes me how many people don't pay attention to developing their relationships. Other people are extremely useful in life. Indeed, for me, I think they are probably my favourite thing in the whole world. A good connection with another can be the most wonderful thing you can have.Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:22:01 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/14112007-How-your-identity-can-hold-you-backWe all have this picture inside our heads of who we are. And let's face it, for most of us, we're probably a little bit more generous than reality warrants. Who doesn't secretly believe that they may be a little smarter, more attractive, and more moral than those around them?Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:37:24 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/10112007-Understand-some-of-the-roots-of-poor-motivationI was in a gym class today lifting barbells, when I looked around. You could see everyone was having a hard time of it. I attend that same class regularly, and it's common to get people who turn up a couple of times and then never come back. If you just look at the obesity epidemic, it's clear a lot of people don't get as much exercise as they should.Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:10:28 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/06112007-Much-of-success-is-about-knowing-how-to-anticipate-problemsWhen I was in my teens, my friends and I were addicted to arcade games. This is a pretty typical obsession with boys. I spent lots of my pocket-money on such games and even managed to win some of them.Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:54:35 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/01112007-Many-people-will-do-the-minimum-they-can-to-get-byHave you ever noticed how many people operate at way below their potential? The genius who works an average office job, the fantastic woman who dates losers, the talented artist who spends all day in front of the TV. Why do such people not put in more effort?Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:16:16 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/25102007-Make-good-attributes-part-of-your-identityWe all have a picture of who we are inside our heads. Sure, you might be an accountant who lives in Miami, but it extends much further than this.Wed, 24 Oct 2007 22:51:01 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/18102007-Make-the-unknown-knownWhat prevents us from doing what we know we should? What is the root cause of procrastination? Why is it that even when we can clearly see what needs to be done, still we're paralysed? These are difficult questions. And of course, there's no simple answer.Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:21:57 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/11102007-Dont-let-your-problems-be-because-of-lazinessWe all have problems. Something is missing from each of our lives. And that may be driving you a little bit crazy. Perhaps you have difficulty finding love. Perhaps your financial situation isn't so good. Maybe you're unhappy in your work. Maybe you have some kind of health problem.Wed, 10 Oct 2007 23:58:07 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/08102007-Life-is-conflictThe Lord of the Flies by William Golding is a fascinating novel. It tells the story of a group of school boys who get trapped together on a desert island. At first, everything is fine and they come up with laws to govern themselves. But soon, they turn into savages and murderers as the options to fulfil their selfish needs become too enticing.Sun, 07 Oct 2007 21:08:17 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/29092007-Most-worthwhile-things-in-life-turn-out-to-be-harder-than-you-expectWhat is it that gets people down? All sorts of things, of course. It may be a chemical imbalance in the brain, a family tragedy, or an accident. But most of the time, the reason for ongoing dissatisfaction is that people simply aren't getting what they want out of life. They feel they aren't where they should be.Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:57:56 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/26092007-No-answer-is-better-than-any-old-answerThere are three little words that most people, particularly men, find it very difficult to utter. They are: "I don't know". For any question people can come up with, you'll see a bunch of answers being put forward, however little evidence there is to support them.Tue, 25 Sep 2007 19:40:48 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/19092007-Face-some-moments-of-truthWhat leads us to want to improve ourselves? Where is it that we can even find out how such an improvement can occur? The answer, generally is in moments of truth.Tue, 18 Sep 2007 22:02:38 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/13092007-Its-okay-to-be-afraidWe all get scared sometimes. It's just part of us to feel a little fear from time to time. Even silly things that we feel adults shouldn't be afraid of sometimes just get us all anxious. This is perfectly normal.Wed, 12 Sep 2007 22:05:48 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/09092007-The-future-is-the-only-thing-you-can-hope-to-influence-so-focus-on-thatWe are all, in many ways, walking containers of memories. Good memories, bad memories, uplifting ones and tragic ones. Our pasts shape us into the people we are.Sat, 08 Sep 2007 18:26:34 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/07092007-The-responsibility-for-learning-lies-with-the-studentWe are all too used to having things served up for us on a silver platter these days. If our coffee order takes more than a few minutes, we feel it's unacceptable. If our train is slightly late, it ruins our day. If we have to wait more than a few seconds for a website to load, we click somewhere else.Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:19:43 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/02092007-Too-much-self-belief-can-be-expensiveWe are often told about how important self-belief is. We're told to be optimistic, think positive and view ourselves as born special and unique. This is all well and good, but at times it can also be damaging. Too much self-belief can actually limit your potential.Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:46:16 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/30082007-You-have-to-run-pretty-fast-in-this-life-even-just-to-stay-stillThe Red Queen is a character in the Lewis Caroll fantasy story "Through the Looking Glass". The main character in the story, Alice, comes across the Red Queen and finds her always running in the same spot.Wed, 29 Aug 2007 19:33:50 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/25082007-Convince-people-to-sell-themselves-to-youWhat do you want from others? Love? Respect? Money? Fame? In many social relationships there is a component of power involved. I'm not saying this is a good thing, but it's a fact so you might as well deal with it. In many one-on-one interactions, you will notice that one person is more dominant than the other. One is calling the shots, while the other reacts.Fri, 24 Aug 2007 17:40:32 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/21082007-We-all-have-moments-of-worry-and-doubtLet's face it, everyone wakes up sometimes and just feels down. The world loses its shine and you wonder why you even bother with it all. Worry and doubt lays itself over your psyche like a heavy snowfall.Tue, 21 Aug 2007 00:45:10 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/16082007-Fill-your-life-up-with-interesting-stuffWe all feel a bit down sometimes. "To be or not to be, that is the question;" Shakespeare's Hamlet famously said. "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer, The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing, end them."Wed, 15 Aug 2007 23:42:48 GMT http://www.paulstips.com/brainbox/pt/home.nsf/link/14082007-A-good-way-of-punishing-bad-behaviour-in-othersMost of us know the maxim that we should reward pleasing behaviour in others and punish the bad. But most people tend to do the punishment side completely wrongly. The thing is when it comes to that, many people underestimate how badly things will make the other person feel.Tue, 14 Aug 2007 00:42:21 GMT