Pawan "The Wordy Saint"

Free Writing ""Love; IMO""

2012-01-02T01:19:00.003-06:00

There are lots of people who try to understand love, they want to know what is Love?

First, they try to search the answers from their surrounding, from movies, books and sometimes even from other's experiences. But none of the answers carved from these really satisfies them, hence they comfortably take a liberty to make their own answer to this perplexed question, and their answer generally is an attempt to satisfy themselves. Because of this I feel that love is one of the most misused and abused word in today's world.

Reading my poetries on my blog, some of my friends or probably foe had often asked me that, am I in love???

Am I ? I don't know... Even though I think that probably I am an eternal lover, and I have always been in love. Then too I really don't think I am able enough to understand love. I am trying to understand love myself, and here I am jolting down some of my findings of love.

"When two souls with different or same identity and destiny get observed in each other, Its called love."

Love is free from reasons. Love practically can't have any reasons. It's just that you love somebody, or you don't.. That's it... Love, don't come with an option. Love is not thought and neither a habit. Love is beyond the logics of this conscious mind, or may be its somewhere the part of unconscious mind which only Sigmund Freud can decipher... haha!

For some people love is a conscious effort, for an desire to get someone they are attracted to. But such attraction and desire are temporal , hence its not love, as love is forever.

Love is not an answer, in fact, it is a first question which further leads to thousands of more questions. Love is not finality; It's a beginning.

Love is not meeting of bodies, neither it is the way they show in movies. It's far simpler and beautiful than that. Love is in acceptance, just like life.

Some people say that love brings you happiness, I pity them because I am afraid that they will fall in the trap of these emotions, and then they will start believing in this for whole of their life. They will create a make-believe world for themselves. It's bad when people cannot identify and experience one of the purest feelings of this human existence. Love, don't have anything to do with happiness or sadness. Its way beyond these temporal emotions, it's forever, its immortal.

Love is a process of purification that a soul goes through. Love makes you sensitive to each-other, to everyone and everything, towards life.

Love is different thing for different people; everybody has their own perception of love. It is just the way as people have the perception of god they do have a perception of love. And as for some people religion is more important than god, similarly for some people idea of love is more important than love.

Love & Regards,

Pawan Jha

Random thoughts "Soaking" (Posted it raw)

2011-12-12T10:49:00.001-06:00

All I want, is to let myself

get drenched in this soaking rain,

rinsing off the sorrow,

& thawing all the pain.

Oh ! I just want to live again.

It is said that,

nothing is sadder than a

train waiting in a rain.

I accept this showered sadness

as it is better to admit the truth

than to live in make-believe lain.

Something is missing,

don't know what it is?

Perhaps,

there are no losses

neither any gain.

I didn't know the rules;

I am an amateur,

an untrained.

I try to live and die,

but everything turns futile;

the whole process is lost in vain.

Probably,

It doesn't matter anymore

until love is a center of existence,

the part which is main.

:- Pawan Jha

Painting by :- Mark Adams

Free thoughts "Funeral"

2011-12-06T12:44:00.000-06:00

I singed the bleeding song of the cactus,

& my body gets soaked in the blood

flowing through my eyes,

drying smell of a dead soul

have filled my nostrils,

& in this chaos of feelings, I declare that,

day-after tomorrow there is the funeral of my heart.

My silent scream,

which was unheard by you,

have unknowingly reached the Chandala's,

& ironically they have arranged flowers

for the last rituals,

people too gathered from all around,

friends or foes, I don't know.

But who cares until you are not in them.

However, there is no need to hurry,

there is still sometime remaining,

as my funeral is day-after tomorrow,

& in the meantime;

I will wait just as Neruda said,

sadder and lonely train

waiting in a rain.

:- Pawan Jha

Free Thoughts "Princess Dreams"

2011-11-28T04:25:00.000-06:00

Maybe big,

may be small,

cannot be serious

but not silly at all.

Fairy tales for life,

like soothing tunes

from a magical fife. .

Tales of angels

and magic rings.

Stories of unicorns

and secret wings.

Love & smile

for everyone

laughter for all.

Its her only wish,

her only call,

Probably, these are something

from the princess dreams.

:- Pawan Jha

Free thoughts "Untitled"

2011-11-23T04:25:00.000-06:00

Everything repeats itself,

life, love, fire

& so does the flowers.

It blossoms every time

I remember..I think about you,

which I always do.

Every time, I see through windows.

I see the girl,

glittering, laughing & dancing

in the garden of joy

on the tunes of life,

with the rhythm of her own.

Oh! I am in so much love with you

Oh! I am in so much pain....

:- Pawan Jha

Free thoughts "Compassion" A Song...

2011-11-22T12:31:00.001-06:00

गाबे रे मल्हार,

गाबे रे मल्हार... जियरा!

गाबे रे मल्हार...

मन हिचकत

हिचकत रे... जियरा!

हिचकत रे...

कहत निगाहे जो,

सुनले रे पुकार...जियरा!

सुनले रे पुकार...

झूठी-मूठी बात नहीं,

'सच' है कटार...जियरा!

'सच' है कटार...

कही नहीं, नहीं कही,

लागे रे बैंमान...जियरा!

लागे रे बैंमान...

सुना पड़ा आंगन,

सुना रे हमार... जियरा!

सुना रे हमार...

झलकत आंसू बन,

बहत नादान... जियरा!

बहत नादान...

नहीं कोई लागे प्रिय,

प्रिय तू हमार... जियरा!

प्रिय तू हमार...

गाबे रे मल्हार,

गाबे रे मल्हार... जियरा!

गाबे रे मल्हार...

:- पवन झा

Free thoughts "Life is a box of chocolate" A Song...

2011-11-16T00:33:00.001-06:00

Life is a box of chocolate,

Eat some, share some.

Smile, be happy always,

let it be what it comes...

Sing a song of sparrows

sing with love and laughters.

Love the world, world loves you,

make this deal to live with fun...

Dream, don't be an adult

dream like a child never grow up...

Spark like a star, always twinkle,

glittering eyes you are a dream-girl...

La lalala lala

lala lala

Life is a box of chocolate,

Eat some, share some,

smile, be happy always,

let it be what it comes...

La lalala lala

lala lala

:- Pawan Jha

Free thoughts "डगर देखने दे"

2011-11-14T11:46:00.000-06:00

मुहब्बत का आख़िर डगर देखने दे,

तड़पता हुआ वो शहर देखने दे !

कभी तो मिलेगी वो बूंद-ए-ज़रूरत,

एक बार उन्हें बस इधर देखने दे !

खुदा तेरी ज़ुल्मत का मारा हुआ है,

मुरादों को अपना कहर देखने दे !

मरज़ इश्क का तो दावा नहीं कही है,

वो नासूर बनता जिगर देखने दे !

मुहब्बत का आख़िर डगर देखने दे,

तड़पता हुआ वो शहर देखने दे !

:- पवन झा

Free thoughts "Random Contrasts" Not a poetry just some thoughts..

2011-11-07T10:09:00.001-06:00

I hear the music,

the music of your breath

screeching in my silence

the silence within.

Looking at you, I feel

that the intensity

to live in me

is contrasting

to my dead being.

Life is fire; in which,

the dead parts will burn.

Everything will disappear,

& will vanish one by one.

In remains, life will glow.

I fantasies life.

I believe that somehow

love will eclipse the hate.

I believe that someway

life will overshadow the death.

HaHa !!! I believe that

I still live in this illusion.

:- Pawan Jha

Free thoughts "Ideal state of being" {Not a poetry, just some feelings}

2011-11-04T12:51:00.000-06:00

It's gonna happen; I know.

Thousands of stars are

gonna fall on me, and I am

gonna be struck

by its lightning...

I know there will be an

explosion within me, and all

the colors thrust in me,

will burst & will paint

this universe...

There will be flood

& ocean will emerge

from inside and

everything will flow

towards its destiny...

It's gonna happen.

I know. I predict,

the ideal state of being...

:- Pawan Jha

Free thoughts "की रब मेरा सुनता नहीं"

2011-11-03T02:44:00.002-06:00

कोई करदे मेरी फ़रयाद,

की रब मेरा सुनता नहीं,

चीखू आँखोंसे मैं दिन-रात,

की रब मेरा सुनता नहीं !

कभी कहा नहीं

किसीसे दिल की बात,

ये दस्तूर कभी जाना नहीं !

राँझा मरता रहे दिन-रात,

ख़ुदाया तू है ज़ालिम बड़ी !

पिघले दिल तो

जहां में हो बरसात,

पत्थर क्यों पिघलता नहीं,

पूछे बेतुके से सवाल,

की आशिक में आवारा सही !

कोई करदे मेरी फ़रयाद,

की रब मेरा सुनता नहीं,

चीखू आँखोंसे मैं दिन-रात,

की रब मेरा सुनता नहीं !

:- पवन झा

Free thoughts "छोटीसी आँखों में चांदी का दाना"

2011-11-01T12:46:00.001-06:00

छोटीसी आँखों में चांदी का दाना,

सपने हकीकत है बाकि अफसाना !

जिसके लिए तू धड़कता है ए-दिल,

है काफ़ी नयी वो, तू बंदा पुराना !

किसको सुनाए तू बातें ज़मीं की,

है किसको सुनाए तू बातें ज़मीं की,

यहाँ सब को है उड़ना, है अम्बर तक जाना !

छोटीसी आँखों में चांदी का दाना,

सपने हकीकत है बाकि अफसाना !

वो गुप-चुप सा रहना,वो नज़रे चुराना,

है आलम ये जालीम और यार बेगाना.

क्यों पूछें हम उनसे, अब उनका बहाना?

जब चाहत है उनकी की मर जाये दीवाना !

छोटीसी आँखों में चांदी का दाना,

सपने हकीकत है बाकि अफसाना !

:- पवन झा

Painting by :- Patty Meotti

Free Writing "Mirrors allaround"

2011-10-31T12:54:00.000-06:00

Everyone has a perception of you, and generally, these perceptions are void and futile, as perceptions are only a refection of self-identity that you see in others. Hence if somebody loves you, then its not you that they love its just the perception of you that they have in their mind, which they love & if somebody hates you, then again, its the same.

If somebody really wants to know, to understand, to love, to hate or to attach any kind of emotional bonding to anybody, then they will have to destroy the self-image of the person that they have created in their mind; which is impossible to do as our mind works on the principle of creating an image of the person based on our own experiences of life. Hence, if one looks closely than they will see that we all are surrounded by a mirror from all around. And in this mirror, the things that we see belong to our own reflection, belong to our own self. We all are only surrounded by our self.

Some people don't realize it, and some do, however, it doesn't really matter as everyone knows that somewhere we all are lonely within. Our best friends have befriended their own self that they see in us and same goes for our enemies. The same principle applies to our parents, relatives, well-wisher or even foe.

I don't know how, but I think that in due time with lots of effort, I have been succeeded in breaking this mirror-maze I was surrounded with. Then too, it doesn't really matter as I still feel very lonely as the people around me are still in this maze.

:- Pawan Jha

Digital Art by Denise Svenska's

Free thoughts "Tender Love"

2011-10-27T13:52:00.000-05:00

You smiled, and

love beamed in your eyes.

Like a fireflies,

it flashed millions of light,

and I searched

my way towards you.

You whispered

like a rhythmic wave

of an ocean.

My heart filled with its music.

And I danced

on the tunes of love,

on the tunes of life.

We loved, and

warmth showered on this world.

Everything turned beautiful,

and everyone finds solace

in our tenderness,

our love.

:- Pawan Jha

Painting by Liz Shewan

Free Thoughts "रंग भी है, रोष भी है"

2011-10-24T07:57:00.000-05:00

रंग भी है, रोष भी है,

सब हमारे दिल में है.

ए सब-ए-ग़म रोज़ आता

क्यों मेरे चौखट पे है.

शूल सी चुभती रहेगी,

इश्क़ जो इस दिल में है.

दर्द अपना या पराया,

है वोही जो मुक़दर में है.

उसकी मुरत रब के जैसी,

बूथ बनी वो कब से है.

अपनी नादानी पे हसले,

दिल लगाया पत्थर से है.

रंग भी है, रोष भी है,

सब हमारे दिल में है.

:- पवन झा

Free thoughts " Kiss of fire"

2011-10-12T06:09:00.000-05:00

I kissed the fire,

burnt my lips,

drank the flames.

Trust ablaze ,

Feeling ashen,

Stang emotions.

Trapped soul,

Everything is burning;

it's burning within...

:- Pawan Jha

Painting by :- Carma Jewell

Free thoughts "Sinfulness"

2011-09-30T14:05:00.001-05:00

God is a bastard,

who plays a dirty game.

He advertises love,

promise happiness,

and then cheats

& give none.

He makes us unhappy

& enjoys it to a core...

He revels in our agony,

our pain; he adores...

Don't fall in his trap,

don't believe in this asshole,

He created a vicious circle

of fate and believe.

So don't pray to the bastard

known as God.

:- Pawan Jha

Painting By Andy Warhol

Free thoughts "आपबीती"

2011-09-22T01:55:00.001-05:00

है मासूम दस्तक, दरवाज़ा कहा है ?

ख़ालिश के है आँसू, बहाना कहा है ?

दीवानो की बातें, दीवाने ही समझे,

ज़माना यह कहता, अफसाना कहा है ?

तडपता है केहेने को, दिल जो हमारा !

है किसकी मुरादे ? है किसका अफसाना ?

हमारे लिए ही, मायूसी है छाई !

वो नूर-ए-रुख यार हमारा कहा है ?

कहा है? कहा है ? कहा है ? कहा है ?

जो ख़ामोशी को पढ़ले, वो बेगाना कहा है !

:- पवन झा

चित्रकारी :- marina Bychkova

Free thoughts "Metaphor of love"

2011-09-14T07:14:00.001-05:00

A deep sense of harmony

is cultivated within.

Sad but beautiful,

like an enchanted doll,

it beguiled me.

I feel something infinite

is rushing through me.

& I know that it will be

forever & ever & ever,

its fate, probably it's written.

However, it doesn't matter anymore.

At least not until

there is a glow within.

Something is beaming inside me

like a fireflies in the dark cave.

Someone is still in a dark,

whereas someone has the light,

a light desired to be shared,

but being afraid of a brightness.

You innocently choose

to close your eyes

and surrender yourself

to darkness.

:- Pawan Jha

-Painting by Todd Young

Free Writing "Colors in me"

2011-09-07T13:05:00.001-05:00

My canvas is always blank, but it doesn't mean that I don't have any colors with me. There are lots of colors stored in me. Colors that are dying to come out, to breath, but I forced them to stay within. Maybe somewhere I hate others to know about my colors. However, I will confess that I also have an abysmal urge to display my colors to others. However, whatever I do it doesn't really matter as everyone is busy painting their own canvases.

I am colored with many colors. I have a heavy stock of blue with me, and even if I want it to be veiled it is clearly visible. Many times its only dark, it's only grey. It's only black. But it's just there, and I can't do anything about it. Even yellow and orange are there, but I have not seen them from many days. Maybe I have lost them forever. However, I feel the presence of violet, but it is merely passive, but it is there, somewhere. The red in me is dynamic. It is very active. Raging red.

There are more and many more colors in me, but I don't really remember names of all. Probably, because I have never actually used them and that's why I keep on forgetting them like an unused rose petal, which is left in a book and forgotten.

I am very colorful within. It is just that somewhere I promised myself that I will never use these colors to paint my canvas. So that I can always keep my canvas blank. I promise myself that I will treasured these colors of me as these colors are the only thing, which let me know that I am still living.

Thanks for Reading,

Pawan Jha

Free thoughts "A surrealist me!!!"

2011-09-02T10:49:00.000-05:00

The sea is still beside me

but the roads have its vibration,

and I walk in this palpitation

to grab the stillness

of the sea within.

People in this world

live as if they are

bond to live.

Albeit, in me, they are

free from themselves.

I am a moving mirror in this market.

I am surrounded by myself.

It's neither a reality nor an illusion,

but everyone belongs to me,

or I belong to all.

Sky is miniature of my heart

in which love is unfathomable.

A love for you.

A love for all.

:- Pawan Jha

Photograph by Gilbert Garcin

Free thought "Death of an Immortal"

2011-09-02T07:17:00.000-05:00

Why did Vincent Died?

His soul was trapped

in the body of materialistic realities.

He was an idealist

and didn't know any alternative.

He was in search of reason,

but found nothing, only misery.

He loved but got hated always...

Christ was crucified

daily in front of him,

and he can't do anything

about it,

so he only bled,

just screeched in agony.

Alone, he screamed in pain.

Probably, these are

some of my weird assumptions

about the death of the immortal.

Maybe, this is why the Vincent died.

:- Pawan Jha

Painting :- Self-portrait by Vincent van Gogh

Free thoughts "Oh! Sea..."

2011-08-23T15:00:00.000-05:00

Oh! sea,

standing

in front of me,

overflowing,

flooded; with love,

stretches it waves,

to catch life,

no, never never,

says the shore,

holds back,

goes back,

stunned.

Oh! sea,

you are profound,

of which; they are afraid,

afraid of depth,

afraid of you,

afraid of love.

Oh! sea,

don't screech,

don't flutter,

don't try,

don't love.

Just let it be,

Please; just let it be.

:- Pawan Jha

Free thoughts " जवाब-ए-जिंदिगी"

2011-08-22T00:26:00.000-05:00

अपने-आप में डूब कर पाजा सुकून-ए-ज़िन्दगी,

इस जहा में कहा मीलेगा तुझेको ख़िताब-ए-ज़िन्दगी,

वक़्त-बे-वक़्त किया करता है क्यों आफत-ए-सवाल तू,

जानता जब तू भी नहीं कोई जवाब-ए-जिंदिगी.

:- पवन झा

Free thoughts "Oh! My radiant whiteness"

2011-08-21T11:54:00.000-05:00

Oh! My dearest whiteness,
you are blank
but nothing is more
innocent, beautiful,
sacred and truthful
than your blankness.

Words are devil; I know
& with the black ink of my pen,
together these deceiving fiends
ruins the radiant whiteness
of yours; my dearest ...

Oh! My beloved blank sheet,
I am sorry; my beaming whiteness,
for the words
I expressed and ruined
your innocence, your beauty
your holiness.

Oh! My radiant whiteness,
I am sorry.

:- Pawan Jha

Painting by Thomas Darnell