A Spiritual Dog Blog

Rabbits Do It Why Can't We???

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:24:00 +0000

Yesterday when me, Pinky and Daisy went running it was a different sort of day....The trails were devoid of people and it was eerily quiet....except for the sounds of helicopters over head...they were searching for the dead body of this beautiful young girl...who happened to go out running last Thursday afternoon, only to never return back to her loving family...

They were searching the lake all day....and the sounds of the helicopter was a reminder of just how fragile life can be

Why? Because of a registered sex offender...the biggest and most horrid of all the predators that walk this earth...the male sex offender....and as a society we don't seem to be able to do anything about it.

As I was running with Pinky and Daisy....they did what they do best which is to chase rabbits....and as the canines spotted their next victim....I would hear a shout out from fellow rabbits...a loud chirping..."HERE THEY COME; Watch Out; Save Yourself! Chirp Chirp Chirp...

And because of this simple warning system, all the rabbits remained safe and sound.....as they easily scampered safely away from their hunter...the dogs.

We are a so called sophisticated society....and yet.....beautiful young girls...such as this innocent young woman whose name was Chelesa King.. died brutally at the hands of some monster? And we can't do anything about it?

I ask the question; How can simple rabbits manage a system of protection...Yet we still let these monsters walk among us..How many more innocent lives will be taken before we understand that we need a safe and sound system to warn families from these evil men?

Rabbits can do it...why can't we?

Come On Daisy!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 17:17:00 +0000

It was a week ago yesterday...that Daisy Girl was attacked....and I remember it because the horrifying site is as fresh as if it happened yesterday.....

Come on Daisy...you can make it...your so close...as she ran up the hill that was almost a straight vertical incline....and as she ran...she was hunkered down so close to the ground...and her little legs were trying her hardest to to get to safety...All I could see was Daisy....and I was willing her up the hill....

Pinky was at my sight jumping on me...he must have been springing into the air at least 4 feet...because I can remember his eyes looking into mine...She's making it he's telling me....It's Okay...she's okay...he was jumping with glee...

And she did make it.....but my happiness was short lived.....because I saw she was bleeding...

I freak out at blood....really I do....Noooo.....please no....was she mortally wounded? I couldn't look......she runs past me..she won't let me see her...and she is leaving small pools of blood behind her....

I yell to anyone who will listen in the house while I chased after her...Mark!!!!! Help us...Daisy has been attacked....

I couldn't look...was her neck ripped open? Had the coytees punctured her intestines...was she still going to die even though she had made it up the hill?

I couldn't look.......and I waited for their verdict....Mark..is she okay?...as I looked away.....my stomach had sunk to my feet...I felt ill....

Mark and Jose whisked Daisy into the sink and began rinsing her wounds...

She had severe gashes under her neck....gashes on her haunches......and gashes on the top of her neck....but she seemed like she was going to be fine.....

Words can't convey how I felt that minute...Because I knew that Daisy had been milliseconds away from death..we cheated death...at least this time....Me Daisy and Pinky had received a pass... I'm sure God heard my pleas...Please God...Not Daisy!

But will we get it the next? I don't think so.

Because I took that moment to walk outside and look at where she had been attacked...and there they were ......looking up at me...almost with a sense of curiosity.....

And I knew they were telling me they would be back......

Daisy and the Coyotes......The Hills Have Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:45:00 +0000

Friday morning was just like every other day...sitting at my computer...working on my third cup of coffee....chatting with my website designers....dogs around me...or so I thought...

All of the sudden from outside I hear the dreaded sounds .......dogs fighting...and I knew immediately that my sweet innocent canines were fighting with the wild coyotes...

There's alot of them around here in our new paradise...every night I hear them as if they are outside my window while they carry on crying and singing their wild tunes...and somehow I never felt threatened by them...until now....and now and forever I will always fear their sounds....

I knew there was big trouble because I could hear Pinky's warning growls and barks..at a hysterical pitch...it was only seconds yet it felt like everything was moving in slow motion....I knew I had to get to them...I knew they were in trouble....Please God...don't let it be true....

I run out of the sliding door and was horrified at the sight that met my eyes....there was Pinky....fighting off one Coytee....and I had to yell...Piiiiiiiiiinnnnnky NOOOOOOOO....

At that second...Pinky looks at me straight in the eye...and I could hear him yelling to me; DO SOMETHING THEY'RE KILLING HER.......this is the second time in my life where me and my dong became of the same mind...we were connected ..we knew what each other was thinking....we knew that we were fighting for Daisy's life.

I looked further down and froze....in horror...as I witnessed my sweet little girl dog being attacked from the rear as that coyote bit her at her hips...as she looked back at the attacker she bared her neck to the the coyote that was coming at her from the front...she had left her neck open to the predator....and he snatched the opportunity and without hesitation....his jaws took her little neck into his mouth...

So many thoughts were running through my head...how dear God...no please God...not Daisy...do I slide down the hill...can I get to her in time....is she going to die?....and then in that minute....with everything I had....

I shouted at the very top of my lungs....STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT....and at that second...the attacker of her neck...glanced up at me...

And I saw that Daisy was free...I knew we had a split second....Daisy...come on girl....Daisy come on Daisy you can do it...as she ran straight up a vertical hill... to me with Pinky by her side.....

To be continued..........

A Little Piece Of Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:54:00 +0000

I have two views of a lake this is the view to the left....Me and my pac of dogs run through the hills....the pic really does not do the view justice.....The views are incredible.....

Day 2.....and how it hurts..

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:13:00 +0000

I'm a person of extremes ...if I can't do it all...I don't do it at all...this includes dieting.....why diet if I can't starve myself....This is my second day of eating clean..carb restrictions...and it hurts when you take them out of your diet! Ouch!

I look okay...average right now...but I have done body building and I know that feeling of when your body is lean and toned...average does not do it for me...

So I live in a state of being completely unsatisfied with myself.....so finally have decided to go back to my roots and get back to where I was two years ago..and do it over the next six months...so by summer time watch out....

I was looking at my body building pictures...o boy...How far I have fallen...not to worry...only takes three weeks to start showing a clean diet...

My problem! Jose ! He loves to cook and loves to tempt me...and I admit it..I have been weak! But no more damn it...I will be strong....

Laat time I cut down...I video blogged it...Ha! Wouldn't be caught dead...well maybe I should do it..I could do it and only me see it....Okay...that;'s what I am going to do..THEN in three weeks...I will post it with the progress....

This is a commitment to ME!!!! Yes I CAN!

Letting Go.....

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:23:00 +0000

I have been think'en a lot lately about feebleness, or dementia, or the loss of will to live....

When exactly is that defining moment that takes us from a young person to an old person.....

I write this because of Patty...a once charming, charismatic human being who at one time was beloved by all and admired for her intellect...has become today... A shadow of who she once was, as she sits alone watching endless cable news, while living in social exile....

Did she make this choice to begin the walk towards the other side?...

The inevitable decline..more towards death than life?

Do we all at some single defining moment during our own time make this a conscious decision...which is to just let go?

And I just wonder....will that be me some day?

I shudder to think that it could be me....God I hope not....

Catching Up.....

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 15:58:00 +0000

I finally did it...I completed my masters.....and then after hundreds of study hours....I took the license exam and passed and I am now a state of California licensed acupuncturist.

I am officially;

Holly Mead L.Ac and Pet Herbalist....

I took the exam Aug 5th 2009...its now Jan 2010.....and what next?

Lots of options...I interned to jump right into a Phd program...but ugggggg the thought of studying again is still repugnant.....but its something I want to do...so...

As far as business goes...it goes great....we are the fastest growing website of our type...I watch all of those sites that compare growths of different companies.

ahhhhhh...I did lose my house....made a great offer to the bank on a loan modification and they did not even consider it....so I let go...I thought it was the end of the world at the time...but things have worked out so much better...

Tomorrow I will post pics of the new house...Im renting now but it is a beautiful house..I could not ask for a better environment.

The End Of The Journey...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:02:00 +0000

Hello blog....sorry I have not visited for awhile...but I know your always here...waiting for my next entry...

I wish I could post more often...but every key stoke is a drop of energy that I have not had available to share with you.

This is an important time for me...I am a graduate and hold my masters degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

How odd it is for me to be at the end of the road...I can turn my head to the side and see where I was...I can now face forward and see where I am going to.

What an exhilarating time...to have finished such a long term goal.

However, I am not quite done. I am studying for those state board exams Aug 5th. I have not even been to the gym....its all about getting completed. This exam is extraordinarily difficult and takes hundreds of hours to to prepare for it.

I also have to feel very proud of PawHealer. I now have three employees and getting ready for the fourth.

Once I finish my exam, I can then dedicate full time to my labor of love...and make PawHealer what it is meant to be!

Bye blog...I will be back soon...I promise.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:53:00 +0000

This is our PawHealer Chart....its so interesting because I attract a group of 50+ women that are highly educated....

I wonder if its because I am 50+ and a woman that this occurs....

I have learned about internet marketing...that you just really never have a clue.

For instance, I recently made a change to my website, and I didn't think anything about it...but for a few weeks after that, the on line sales dropped dramatically....then one night I was sitting there and thinking about it...and it dawned on me that the drop had been since I made that change to the navigation.

I changed it the other day...and wahmmmm....the e-sales popped right up again.

The internet is such a weird phenomena

Final Year ends...Graduation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:14:00 +0000

O my.......this morning I start taking my finals for graduation. Sometimes I feel like crying....

Between working on PawHealer, and trying to wrap up school, I feel overwhelmed. But I seem to be making my way through it all.

This morning I go take the first of several exams...the good news about this one is that I can retake portions of whatever I don't pass...But still...

So how about some laughs? Here is a new diet that I am following because my butt continues to expand!

The Dawn Keye Diet

Anger Management

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:26:00 +0000

Anger Management

Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife says: I clean the toilet.

Husband says: How does that help?

Wife says: I use your toothbrush.

The Story Of Lollo & Her Liver Qi Stagnation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:20:00 +0000

I by accident posted this from my herbal blog to this blog...and I was going to delete it, but it is a great cat story...so I've decided to leave it. I think "The Food Lady" did a great job with Lollo's story and its a cute read....

"bj@juno.com" <bj@juno.com>

(Add as Preferred Sender)

Date:

Fri, Mar 27, 2009 4:18 pm

To:

holly@pawhealer.com

Hello, I'm Hedgie. Before the food lady contacted PawHealer, I was miserable. I was so grumpy that I seldom got any loves. When the food lady did try to be nice to me I was so irritated that I couldn't stand being touched. I squealed, scratched her and even bit her once. Nobody wanted to be near me because my breath was so bad you could smell me from two feet away. My coat was really ugly, so much so that the food lady took me to the groomer. (I was nice to them and they loved me and and that really ticked the food lady off.) The truth is, it's hard to live in a house with 6 other cats, when you want to be number one all the time. And, I should be number one, because I came to live here when I was 4 days old. The food lady fed me with a bottle and gave me loves every 2 hours. But then as I got older the time got to be less and less and I had to share more and more of the time. It was all down hill from there.

My health problems started about a year and a half ago. The food lady took me to this place where there were lots of others like me and some other kinds of creatures that made some kind of silly barking noises. They stuck needles in me and made me go to sleep. While I was sleeping they hurt my mouth and said that my bad breath was from sores in my mouth caused by bad teeth. Within months of that ordeal, the food lady took me back again and I had to go through the whole thing all over again. That time I had to stay a whole week because I won't let the food lady give me medicine and the people at that horrible place had to do it. In the end it did no good, because within a few months nobody could stand to be near me again.

To her credit, the food lady didn't want me to have to go through that again, so she looked for an alternative that would be less stressful for me. She found PawHealer and told them all about me. They told the food lady that it was not my teeth that was causing my problem, but that I was a very angry kitty and my liver had become toxic. They sent her some Chinese herbs and I have been eating my food with the herbs for one week now. In that short time my breath has improved 85% and I am feeling so much better. I have been getting lots of hugs and loves and I have not felt like scratching or biting. I also have not minded the company of the other cats and, in fact, I actually felt like playing with Lena yesterday. I hate her.

So, here I am sitting on the porch, enjoying the sun, the birds, the sound of the wind in the palms. I'm loving life and the food lady so much more. I can't wait until next week.

Hedgie (Lollobrigida), Lollo for short.
My food lady is Jean T from Miami Springs Florida

Thank you PawHealer

Can You say Tired?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 03:16:00 +0000

OMG....I feel as if I am barley going to make it...this is the final semester with two weeks to go.

business has been doing great....10 hour work days and being available 7 days a week...

IS MAKING ME TIRED!

Deep to the bone tired....

And still life is still up in the air...

I am considering moving to Maryland if things do not work out with my house. At this point, after looking around at making a completely new life on the other side of the country where housing is dirt cheat....I'm not so sad! (also I can acupuncture pets)

I have seen the most beautiful homes for lease as well as rent to own, or for that matter for sale and that are like what I live in now..but at a fraction of the cost.

But....I have been wondering if owning is something I really want to do at this point. I'm thinking

SAVE SAVE SAVE....

EGADS....our world is upside down.

I went and saw a cute movie last night called Sunshine Cleaning...a small cute film...

Every weekend I go to the movies all by myself...sometimes twice in the same weekend. I'm making up for all that time where I never went because I felt I had to have my nose in a book.

Ahhh...I forgot the other benefit of moving out of state is that right when I get out of school and take the national exams...Wa La...i am a certified acupuncturist...it does not take near the hours of study as is does to get certified for the state of California...

so....not sure why I'm even hesitating at this point....

I have to add this video...i love weird dog videos...

When You Least Expect It

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:46:00 +0000

I had to laugh at this one......

I received a request form a guy who wanted herbs for his dog that had started to have some problems. So, I gave him a call and we started talking about the dog...

He then mentioned that he had seen my picture on the About Us page on my website.

Heheheheh...that was 18 months ago...before I got PawHealer up and running and became totally consumed.

Thinking back to that time, and looking at my picture...I remember thinking how I was "too fat" or not fit enough or whatever the crap that cycled through my mind at the tim.

Ahhh how I now long for those far away gym rat days....

Anyway....so I started talking to him...and he seems really nice. The conversation was interesting...and he then tells me he had looked at my picture...and he thought I was nice looking.

Well I was at the time! Now....as I have said...life has set in..on my ass!

Anyway...Later that day I received an e-mail from him...it's a picture of his dog, him and his daughter...and the entire family is adorable.

He is extremely handsome..and on top of it he's 50...OMG. I couldn't believe it.

So I sent him back an e-mail that I don't know who is cuter, his dog or him....

He sends me back a response telling me that he considers me a "hottie"....OMG as I roll my eyes...

That's so much pressure!

To be considered someone's "Hottie"...and 53 years old?

I don't do well under pressure.......

February

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 01:07:00 +0000

Hello Blog...It's been awhile, I loved this picture and had to post it.

It's hard to write after a full day of work and then a night of school....

None The Less Time to check in....

Last semester of school...hurray.

Business is doing pretty good considering that there is a depression going on. Just my luck that I start a business and the bottom falls out of the economy. But I shouldn't whine because it's paying the bills and it's growing and I really enjoy doing it.

Trying to decide my next step....what doctoral program to enter....

Pinky and Daisy are great....and healthy...and so is that Bad Dog Chico Martini

I started dating the ex-BF again...MISTAKE.

All it took was about 2 weeks and I new I had made a mistake. It really is true that you just can't go back....

So I am happy and single, and I really mean it, I have no desire to date. I am too busy to have to "give"...I know that sounds selfish. So Be It.

Finally spoke with my mom after 6 months. Its really very sad...now she is hunched over and slanted to the side like the wicked witch of the North...notice I did not say west. She looks just awful, it's as if every bone in her back has crumbled.

Still not sure if we're going to salvage the ole brokne mansion on the hill...we are in an official class action law suit. The housing situation being so undecided is a heavy load...it should be resolving one way or the other very soon.

That's it for now blog...tah tah

Can Cats Do This?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:10:00 +0000

Hehehehehe...I only wish.....not so with my three....I am entertainment director, provider of food, and yes...the poop picker upper, I believe I am also low man of the pack....

The Human Condition

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 18:44:00 +0000

I work with people and I work with pets. Happily I get ready to sit for the national boards by this February as my career begins to take shape. It's all about me getting in the study mode.....I love the direction I have taken, I love working with pets and yes....even people.

But there is a frustrating element when working with herbs....and that's our overall mentality which comes from the culture of the past 50 years...This is the expectation that if we take one single pill we can then fix everything.

With herbs...sometimes one single formula can indeed work....and in other instances it may take a couple of tries at getting it to to change the condition.

But when sitting back and thinking about it is can we really say that it is really any difference than western medicine?

Not really.

Every day I work with so many people in which the dog has not been responding to western drug therapy. This is because either the drug just does not work, or the pet has become resistant to the medication.

And for some reason people give a lot more allowance if you will, to western pharmaceuticals...this can be confirmed by the gigantic veterinarian bills that I hear that people have paid.

By the time people have found me...they want ONE formula to work God Damn It!

Or they believe I have scammed them, yes name calling is a regular occurrence, even if I offer to give them a FREE second formula based on the results of the first formula....that just sucks...can you imagine?

It's okay, because 90% of the time we benefit the pet and they improve at least 50% and everybody is happy as the pet finds it's way back to good health.

But I can't help but feel discouraged sometimes....Mostly at the current human condition.

I don't understand why people can't see that too many drugs can actually hurt their pet...not to mention themselves....people are taking way too many prescriptions and its spilling over to our animals. It seems to me that no one is holding our doctors or our veterinarians responsible for this state of affairs.

The other day while at my acupuncture clinic, I was treating a man that was on 26 different medications. The side effects were taking an incredible toll, because by now, he can barely walk or get out of bed each day.

It's not my place to tell him he has to reduce the drug load....it's obvious that he is dying a slow medicated death...

As its not my place to tell pet owners that their lovely little family members are breaking down under the load of numerous meditations and they are also dying a slow and complicated death.

It doesn't matter, animal or person.....too much of a good thing can be bad.

So where does that leave us?

We have to work at getting better.

We must work on what we and our pets eat. We must view everything that we put in to our collective mouths as the opportunity to heal ourselves.

We must also find herbal remedies that can work in conjunction with our medications...they can actually help to minimize the drug side effects, and may actually help to reduce the required western medications, which indeed are a great thing, but given in large quantities, and for long periods of times, will begin to back fire...

In other works herbs and meds can work together, so we don't have to choose...why does our society believe we have to do one or the other? I ponder so often about that.

I just wish people would be as tolerant when working with herbs as they are with western meds....

When people call me...

I have one single shot....and if my one single shot does not work...people become angry...they call me names and just shit all over me...but that's okay...because there are people out there who have greatly benefited...so I continue on....

Even being called names is okay because you know what? I know I have a responsibility to these people who believe in this type of healing, and because the bar is set so high for me....I do a great job... because peoples high expectations are making me into the best herbalist I can be...

I love meeting expectations...every day I work to be the best there can be and I love when I hear the sweet sound of a pet owner telling me that the dog or cat they love is doing much better. It is like music to my ears....

Now it's your turn to work at getting better and time to open your mind....

Don't turn away from something that can work...

Have a little patience...

I promise we can make a difference (I'm writing this to the 10% out there that have no tolerance!).

Give herbs the chance that you have given the western medications...if you give equal time to the herbs, you will get the result you seek.

This is because in my humble opinion they are fantastic.....but take heed, I'm not saying they are a magic bullet....I think it's important for all of us to keep the following in our mind;

There are no wise men and there are no magic bullets......we must work at good health, we can not find it in a bottle or a pill...and that is the sad truth for our dogs and cats.

Me & Pinky and then there was 3

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:37:00 +0000

For two years...it's just been me and Pinky...of course Daisy girl is there, sleeping at the foot of the bed like a little rock. But Pinky is different.

Pinky is a secret cuddlier. During the day he is aloof and stands quietly by guarding his pack (me and Daisy)...

By night he is a little luv bug who insists that he be right by my side, and not more than 2 inches apart. You can always find Pinky right next to me sharing the same pillow.

I thought this was very cute and felt secure in his love until I finally....after two years...once again had some male human company.

This is a delicate subject.....

So here we are...very early into the morning, and having a very special intimate moment...

When I happened to look up because I felt something starring at me, and there was Pinky...not 6 inches away from me....looking extremely concerned.

I pushed him gently away thinking he would go elsewhere, while letting him know that I was fine.

And then all of the sudden there was that very intimate moment....if ya know what I mean.

Then simultaneously....there was another moment...But this involved Pinky.

Pinky proceeded to vomit on my arm.....I'm not kidding.

I didn't know what to do...I stayed still hoping that my friend wouldn't notice that my little dog had just had an emotional upset...when all the sudden;

It began to stink of that night's gobbled down chicken...It was indeed gross.

Yes, unfortunately my male company did figure it all out, and I had to cop to the situation...

I dare say that he was very understanding about the entire thing. He knows that my dog's are having trouble sharing me.

But this is a little ridiculous!

I Can't Believe This

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 14:57:00 +0000

This is an e-mail from a woman I have never spoken to. She bought a formula off the internet and her dog did not like the taste of it, so she has just returned it. Our web site clearly says we have 20 days to process the return...we received it Wednesday and have not even opened it. We do returns on the 15th and 30th of each month.

But that's not the point, I could never imagine sending a e-mail to someone telling they they disgust me...she has no idea who I am or what I do...she bought this formula off the internet...how in the world can she say I have do unauthorized activity on her credit card when she made the purchase herself.

And again...there are so many people we do business with that we help, people like her spoil it for the rest. People like this make you want to shy away from giving anything extra...for her to say I disgust her...

How awful is that?

Then later today I get another e-mail from her...she must read my blog, and she reminded me that she gave the order as a phone order....so lady...how did I make this charge unauthorized?

The funny thing is that she does have a credit coming, no one is disputing her and yet she is name calling, and threatening me with what I'm not sure, because we have an impeccable reputation.

Just the nastiness that people can show others...seems like the times are bringing out the worst in people.

Federal Trade Commission
From:
"Maureen Martin"
Here is her nice addition:

If you remember correctly I ordered this by phone..........you did not say a word I am done with you.... I will file a formal complaint with Consumer affairs in Sacramento and the Federal Trade Commission,. I will take care of this...
You are crooked.

Nice very nice......

Bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:24:00 +0000

For sure at times ignorance is bliss....

Take for example my latest blunder.....I don't know how I found out, it was by mistake. But I discovered the guy I use to see had actually started a life without me...( I blogged about hacking his e-mail)

I guess I really wasn't expecting it because he would on a very regular basis, come over and declare his undying love for me...and there I would sit in my solitary haze of self confidence, that I had his love forever....just waiting for him to change for me.

I think during these past two years of not being physically involved with him, I believed at some sort of level, that one day he would come to appreciate everything I had to offer, and then be able make the necessary profound changes required for us to be a happy couple.

"Auggg"...."sigh".....with a shake of the head.....maybe this time I can really learn;

You can only change yourself...and that's a monumental task in itself, let alone expecting someone to change for you. Impossible!

After a failed attempt for the past four weeks to see if we could work it out...I'm once again at that point that I know for a fact that we could never give to each other what each of us needs from the other....Although he promised me this time to give me what I felt I had never been given in the past, I see that he still can't me today what I expected yesterday...thus...time to move on...and I mean really move on this time.

Why is it that it's the woman that always has to conform? It's over again even before it started. At least I didn't sleep with him again....OMG I would of hated myself.

This is the eve of my 53rd birthday....I hope when I am writing to my blog next year I will have grown a little wiser, because DAMN IT....your suppose to get wiser with age, not stupider with more wrinkles and some gray hair.

I seem to keep making the same mistakes over and over and over.......Happy 53rd year birthday Holly, apparently you are older but not any wiser....

Oh well another whole year to get it right!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:10:00 +0000

How funny is this video....I played it for Pinky and his head tilted in ways I have never seen it tilt before. He was trying to figure out what the hell this dog was trying to say.

Confessions

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:55:00 +0000

Now I see why the Catholics like to confess so much.

I really did feel guilty that I invaded my friends space...even if it was in the vein of self preservation.

I felt so guilty...so I called him over and I told him what I did and I told him why I did it, and I suggested that he changes his password, since I was the one who originally set up the account.

Funny how your mind blows things up out of proportion, and when you get it out on the table its not so bad as it seems....

Ahhhh.....I feel so much better. I won't do that again.

I'm A Baaaaaad Person

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:51:00 +0000

Well kinda, maybe....and maybe not.

Perhaps I did this in the vein of self preservation....but then again...I am a baaaaaaad person.

A couple of posts ago, I made mention that I was kinda messing with the idea of th old main squeeze....Welllll

I stayed away from that, noticing that he had many of the old behaviors that use to drive me nutts. Mainly he seemed to have many secrets. He use to always tell me that was just the way he was....

So last night as I was sitting in the quiet of a Sunday evening.....eeekkkks, I hacked his e-mail.

Yes I did.

I could of always done this, but I chose to not do it. I don't know what was different about last night...perhaps, I knew I was drifting back to something not so great...

Yup.....I was right. He's a big time player. All the things he would say to me, he says as part of his shtick.

At first I was mortified.....and I feel a tad guilty...but not all the way guilty.

I also feel pretty happy that I did not step back into that stuff again.

LOL...OMG.....can't believe I did that.

But now I know and I don't feel so bad....

We were....how do you say....seeing each other...for 5 years in a very strange kinda way.

I always knew in the back of my heart he was like that....I just never chose to confirm it.

Now I know....I'm wondering if this is a good thing or a bad thing....Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Our Week....

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 01:44:00 +0000

Poor Daisy has been having some emotional issues a false pregnancy...she runs around the house carrying a toy and whining at me...

So happy to say that I have fallen back into the zone...that means not using food as my security blanket, my "feel good" tool.

Finally I have gotten back into eating mean and lean. O boy....do I have long way to go. I got fat....

Its going to take months...but that's okay. I'm just happy to have some control back. The dowdies had indeed set in....and I'm back to the gym, which is crucial to my state of mind, and has returned to being somewhat more positive.

Still plugging away at the herb business. I have not had any real growth...but HEY that is not bad considering what is happening around us. Pretty scary times, and its paying my bills.

I just filled out the papers for my very last semester, most of the classes are clinic...I sit for the national board exams Jan or Feb...which means that I will be a national certified acupuncturist. Ahhhhhh....5 long years...

On to the next step...looking into PhD programs...thinking about oncology...Waiting to see where the wind blows me.

Its so hot here...wildfires are raging, and the earth feels scotched. We're lucky that San Diego has avoided the fires thus so far. Its such a strange time of year when it gets so dry and hot, feels like Dante's Inferno.

Nothing new on the housing front....stay tuned...never a dull moment here on Sassafras st.

Ya Just Can't Go Back...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 16:00:00 +0000

I started flirting around with the idea of seeing my ole main squeeze.....Big Mistake.

I guess it is was the superficial side of me that was the motivating factor. He is turning 50 this month and in celebration he got himself in top notch shape and is doing a show to strut his renewed physique (he is an ex body builder). Yes indeed....he does look mighty tasty.

But none the less...we're the same people with the same views....that just don't jive, and I am feeling like I let myself get sucked back into a situation that could go no where, not that I wanted to go anywhere....because we can't agree on much at all...another mistake AGAIN.

I keep making bad judgments, and at some level I know I'm making these mistakes when I do it....I guess that's better than not knowing that I'm doing them...right?

Geez...some one call a shrink Pleeeeze!