Entertainment Review Directory

Comprehensive Book Review Directory

2013-03-07T14:17:00.001-08:00

If you're looking for a complete list of book reviews that I have done then you can find it all here in the Book Review Directory Article. You'll also find a load of fun polls and quizzes to do too as I'm trying to find out which genre is the most popular and which ones aren't.

Personally I love fiction but my all time preference will have to be in the fantasy genre. I love the whole magical, mystical world and I can find myself lost in those books for hours at a time. If you can't make it through to the quizzes let me know what your favorite books and authors are in the comments below.

Happy reading!

Cute iPhone 5 Cases

2013-02-06T14:09:00.001-08:00

If you love pandas and love your iPhone then take a look at these great iPhone 5 cases.

http://wizzley.com/cute-panda-iphone-cases/

Treasure Island (2012)

2012-12-23T07:13:00.000-08:00

Sharpen up your blades, drink down your grog and get ready for a fantastic movie! Steve Barron has done a brilliant take on Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island and has enlisted an amazing cast to perform it.

I'm sure all of you will know the plot: Captain Blackbeard makes a large deposit on an island and then kills most of his crew so that they can't come back and dig it up but some of them get away. Billybones, who was one of the crew, ends up at the inn of Jim Hawkins where he is seeking refuge from other pirates wanting to kill him. They want him because he has the map of where the treasure is buried, however, Billybones drinks himself to death and Jim discovers the map. Jim tells his friend the Doctor about his discovery and they charter a ship and a crew to seek their fortune. I'll leave the plot there because I don't want to give away the ending.

The reason I love this movie so much is because you get to see different aspects of the characters. For example with John Silver you see the more caring side of his character when he is teaching Jim to be a ship's cook. Even when Silver has had to do something morally wrong to get what he wants he is still thinking of the boy and his best interests.

Squire Trelawney is also an interesting character too. In other renditions he comes across as a rich yet slightly stupid character but in Barron's rendition he is a calculating, conniving and very selfish man who is only interested in his wealth.

I love the character development with the Doctor and Jim. With the Doctor he is initially put across as a coward even though he has had previous military experience. However, when it comes to it and Jim is in trouble the Doctor really pulls through and overcomes those mental barriers that were keeping him from being the man he is. As for Jim, he is still just a boy who has had to take on the role as man of house because his father died. There are many aspects to his character that portray his boyish nature but when Jim has to make a decision to live by taking someone else's life he is able to do so and live to fight another day as a stronger man.

This really is a great movie and I can highly recommend it to you if you love the Treasure Island theme, pirates, or even just a good story!

For a full character review you can read that on my other Treasure Island Review. It's an interesting comparison between how the characters progress in this movie compared to the other versions that I have seen.

You can purchase the movies by following these links:

Treasure Island from Amazon.com
Treasure Island - The Complete Series [DVD] from Amazon.co.uk

Iron Sky Review

2012-11-12T02:05:00.000-08:00

I watched the Iron Sky movie the other day and I have to say that it is the worst movie I have ever seen! I read the synopsis of the movie and like the idea of steam-punk Nazis going to the moon in 1945 to escape prosecution but the problem is that the movie just can't settle on a theme. One minute we're in doctor Frankenstein, then Star Ship Troppers, then Star Trek; they just could not settle!

We even had the stereo-typical interracial love interest at the end, I was praying that they wouldn't go with it but they did. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against interracial relationships but the way they went about introducing this was just so cringe worthy.

I really can't express how awful this movie is. I'm going to leave this post for now, gather my thoughts and then come back with some proper reasons why you shouldn't watch it. However, if for some bizarre reason you want to get your cringe on or laugh at this pathetic movie you can get your own copy from the Amazons:

Top 10 Harnesses For Dogs Of All Sizes

2012-08-04T14:17:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Harnesses For Dogs Of All Sizes

If you have a dog then switching over to a harness could be one of the best things that you can do for them. With a traditional collar and leash the dog can experience pain, coughing, damaged neck muscles and poor behavioral control. However, by switching to a harness and leash your dog will find it harder to pull but much easier to breathe and be guided by your pressure changes on his torso.

I have made a great list of harnesses here that you will really enjoy. All of the harnesses selected are fine for small to xx-large dogs as the ranges have different models that are easily adjustable to fit your dog's unique shape.

Fitbit Ultra Wireless Activity Plus Sleep Tracker Review

2012-08-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

I came across this great little fitness tool: Fitbit Ultra Wireless Activity Plus Sleep Tracker. It is a very lightweight tracker designed to keep you motivated by recording your daily activity, sleep patterns, and with the software your food consumption.

With the Fitbit Ultra Wireless Activity Plus Sleep Tracker you will be able to track the following:

Distance travelled
Steps taken
Flights of stairs climbed
Calories burnt
Total hours of sleep
How many times you woke up in the night
How many calories you have eaten
Calorie input vs output.

Weighing in at only 0.08kg (0.2lbs) it can clip onto your belt, your bra or even sit in a pocket. The altimeter is able to detect changes in movement and height. For example it can tell when you step and if you climbing or descending a hill or stairs.

If you want some more information then follow the link to the Fitbit Ultra Wireless Activity Plus Sleep Tracker.

If you want to go ahead and buy it you can follow the link to Amazon depending on which site you would like to purchase from.

Please ignore

2012-07-14T06:55:00.001-07:00

This is a verification post for Expertscolumn.com

Mulan 2

2012-07-08T22:52:00.000-07:00

Time to Save China Again

Mulan and General Shang are preparing for their marriage when the are sent off on a secret mission. China is being threatened again by a neighboring country and the only way to grant peace is to form an alliance through marriage. The Emperor's three daughters have been given the task to marry the eldest son in Chang'an, China.

Since this is a mission of peace and delicacy is needed Mulan and Shang decide to only take three men with them: the infamous Yao, Ling and Chien-Po. However, things do not go to plan on their journey to Chang'an as the three Princesses fall in love with the three guards and Mulan decides to help them escape the marriage that will cause them unhappiness. However, this goes against Shang's rules and puts strain on their relationship.

Mushu begins to take advantage of this and starts making events happen to break Mulan and Shang up. Mushu has just discovered that if he lets Mulan marry into the Li family then he will lose his position as guardian and return the ancestral resting place as the bell-ringer and servant. Mushu justifies his actions by explaining that he has worked too hard to get where he is now and doesn't want to return to that life and he can see that Mulan is unhappy is just helping things speed along.

China's fate and Mulan and Shang's relationship now hang in the balance and to top it all off they are attacked by Mongolians on the way to Chang'an and lose all of their belongings and dowry for the inevitable marriage that Shang is forcing upon the three Princesses. Can they all set things right, get peace for China, and marry the person they love? Only the great ancestors can help now.

Final Verdict

In my opinion Disney (and most other companies) have a habit of making the second movie in a sequel rubbish. I cannot say that for Mulan 2. I loved this movie and think that it touches on some important topics: duty, honor, and love. Although it seems at times the characters are doing the wrong thing they are actually doing what is right by them and in the end everyone sees the truth in what they are saying and agree that their actions have been for the best.

I think kids will enjoy this movie more this time round as there are many more beautiful dresses and "actual" Princesses are on show and this seems to slot in with Disney's overall theme. However, Mulan and her friends do not let up on the action hero side either, there are plenty of battles and grip the end of your seat moments that will keep you and your youngsters entertained again and again. I can highly recommend this movie to anyone who loved Mulan in her first movie.

Mulan Accessories

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Best Review - Top 10 Best Harry Potter T-Shirts

2012-07-07T11:36:00.001-07:00

For the last 10 years J. K. Rowling has given us 7 fantastic books: The Harry Potter Series. If you want to check out some great t-shirts relating to Harry Potter then please follow the link and you'll find out all about them. Enjoy!

Best Review - Top 10 Best Harry Potter T-Shirts 2012 - Shopping, Harry Potter, magic, wizarding world, harry potter accessories, hogwarts, dumbledore, dobby

Mulan

2012-07-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

Mulan was Disney's first attempt on the oriental scene where they brought to life a two thousand year old Chinese story. Mulan is certainly an interesting character and one not to be reckoned with. She is not seen as a traditional Disney Princess but she is definitely a very strong, willful and independent female character.

Mulan's Story

Mulan the Disney Princess is the daughter of Fa Zhou an imperial war hero, however she is having a tough time fitting into society. Mulan is getting ready to meet the Matchmaker but manages to screw up completely which ends up bringing great dishonor to herself and her family.

Having got home and broken the news to her father a request goes out for all the men to be recruited back into the army as the Huns are on the war path. Fa Zhou, who is already a great war hero, accepts this as a great honor but Mulan contests this as he is badly injured from the previous war. Her father puts her in her place and tells her that he will re-enlist with the army and that's that. Heart-broken Mulan runs out to the court yard and sits in the shelter of the Great Ancestral Guardian where she suddenly has a revelation.

Mulan sneaks back into the house, cuts her beautiful long hair and steals her father's uniform and runs off to the army to take her father's place. However, in the middle of the night her family realize what Mulan has done and asks their ancestors to watch over Mulan: meet Mushu.

Mushu is a great little dragon played by Eddie Murphy and is sent to watch over Mulan and to try and bring her home safe and sound. Mulan has different ideas when she meets Mushu and disguises herself as Ping Zhou.

Ping (Mulan) makes the worst solider and the captain is on the verge of sending her home but then Mulan figures out what she needs to do to become a great solider and help China win the war. The scenes of Ping and her three friends are absolutely fantastic; they teach us perseverance, control, discipline and a whole host of other characteristics needed to be an awesome person.

During the battles with the Hun, Mulan makes some very daring moves that are often hindered but sometimes aided by Mushu. Bless his little red tail though he is trying his best but it never really works out for him, however, he does help Mulan and China win over the Hun in his own special way.

Disney Music

As always the music is great, very catchy and easy to understand. I love the choreographed scenes, especially the one where Mulan is teaching the little kids how to be a "solider", the moves are perfectly timed with the music and just make for a brilliant show.

Some of the more emotional songs such as 'Reflections' allow us to really get a grasp on what Mulan is feeling at the time. There's something about singing your emotions that just make them more real and easier to understand and I think Disney have been using this effect for quite some time.

Mulan the Character

Like I said before, Mulan is not your typical Disney Princess. If you want someone who needs looking after, who needs a man to protect her, a maid to dress her and tend to her every needs then you're watching the wrong dang movie. Mulan is a very independent, strong-minded young women who will do anything to protect her family from harm.

Disney have made a great choice here as I think Mulan is a great role model, especially for children and young girls. When they watch it they learn about freedom and independence but they'll also learn about the consequences of their actions if they don't think about what they are doing or about to do.

Final Verdict

Mulan is a fantastic movie and has become one of my absolute favorites. I can watch this movie over and over again and never get bored. I remember when I was a little girl dancing along to all the fighting moves pretending that I was Mulan fighting the evil Hun - I'm fairly sure this was one of my inspirations for getting into martial arts in the first place!

The way this story is told is great and I find it is suitable for both younger boys and girls. For the boys you have the fighting and solider themes and for the girls you have this "Princess" who is just kick ass! Proving everyone that they are wrong about what she can do and then going about and beyond all that criticism by saving China almost single handedly.

This is a great movie and you should watch it as soon as you can.

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More Movies:

Pocahontus 2: Journey to a New World

2012-06-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

Pocahontas Tshirts by disneyiframe

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Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World

Once again Pocahontas and her people are threaten by Radcliff and they are on the verge of war. The King has entrusted his judgement to Radcliffe but John Rolfe a court adviser thinks differently. King James gives Rolfe the task of bringing back the Chieftain so that they can talk this out and try to avoid war.

Rolfe is sent to the new world where he over hears the name Pocahontas and thinking this is the Chieftain requests that Pocahontas comes to London to prevent the war. Only when Pocahontas steps out does he realize his mistake, however, agreements have been made and she agrees to go in her father's place.

Pocahontas is also given the news that John Smith is dead, however, this makes her just as determined to go. However, living in close quarters with John Rolfe they develop feelings for each other. The twist comes here when John Smith turns up in London proclaiming his love for Pocahontas; she now has two men from which she must chose or hurt them both.

Pocahontas is struggling with the customs of London, trying to prevent war and also chose which man she loves. The two men are constantly bickering over her and Radcliffe is simultaneously trying to trick Pocahontas into making a mistake and making herself the fool destroying the King's trust she has just started to build.

Can Pocahontas stop the war and also find out what her heart wants? It's a gripping plot that will keep adults and children entertained.

The Cast

Irene Bedard: Pocahontas
Jim Cummings: King James
Donald Gibson: John Smith
Linda Hunt: Grandmother Willow
Russell Means: Powhatan
David Ogden Stiers: Ratcliffe
Jean Stapleton: Mrs Jenkins
Billy Zane: John Rolfe

Verdict

As a sequel this is one of the better movies. Although it is a great plot in its own right there are far too many parodies in here for my liking. For example, Mrs Jenkins, in my opinion, is just Mrs Potts from Beauty and the Beast, they act the same, have an obsession with tea and even the songs are very similar.

However, now that this particular rant is over, I actually enjoyed this movie a lot. Disney managed to get the culture shock just right and seeing Pocahontas is a full blown ball gown as odd. She looked uncomfortable but that was the whole point.

I'm not so sure on Pocahontas having two men to chose over, it seems a little odd for Disney to take that route. I would have been happy with Pocahontas falling into the arms of John Smith when he returned alive and well, rather than having John Rolfe put into the equation as well. The two of them constantly bickering start to detract from Pocahontas's culture shock in London and trying to prevent the war.

Overall it is still a great movie that will keep you entertained. If you liked the original then I'm sure you'll like this one too.

Pocahontas

2012-06-02T09:26:00.001-07:00

Pocahontas

The Plot

King James's soldiers have set sail for the 'new world' under governor Ratcliffe. The men are excited about landing on this new terrain in search of gold. This supposed new fortune will allow them to start new lives and get the things that they want.

In the New World Chief Powhatan has returned from the war and has decided it is time for his daughter, Pocahontas, to marry his best warrior. This goes against Pocahontas's dreams as she senses change in the village: little does she know that the English soldiers will soon be upon them.

Ratcliffe and his army make dock on the shores close to Pocahontas's village and the lead character, John Smith, is ordered to go and scout for the savage Indians. Having seen the ship dock Pocahontas moves in to get a closer look at the Pale Faces. John Smith and Pocahontas meet and despite their differences form a close relationship.

Their relationship is soon discovered by both Chief Powhatan and Ratcliffe and both are convinced that it is a plot to get closer to each other's camps to make war. Both sides think of each other as the savages and it is only when Pocahontas saves John Smith's life can she show them that neither side are the savages they believe each other to be.

The Cast

Irene Bedard: Pocahontas
Mel Gibson: John Smith
David Ogden Stier: Governor Ratcliffe
John Kassir: Meeko
Christian Bale: Thomas
Linda Hunt: Grandmother Willow
Danny Mann: Percy
Billy Connolly: Ben
Joe baker: Lon
Frank Welker: Flit
Michelle St. John: Nakoma
Jame Apaumat Fall: Kocoum
Gordon Tootoosis: Kekata

Soundtracks

Colors of the Wind: Pocahontas is showing John all that he land has to offer and questioning Johns's assumption that her people are the real savages.
Just Around the River Bend: Pocahontas is singing about adventure and trying to work out what she wants and if it's the right thing to do.
Listen With Your Heart: Grandmother Willow advises Pocahontas to stop listening to outside influences and to listen to what she wants.
Savages: the war song between to two sides.
Steady as the Beating Drum: introducing the Indian tribe.
Virginia Company: the English settlers setting sail to the New World
If I Never Knew You: this was not in the original movie but was put in the 2005 Special Edition DVD release. It depicts Pocahontas's and John's love for each other on the verge of his death. To be honest I'm not a fan of this song as it doesn't really fit in with the rest of the music theme.

Verdict

Pocahontas is Disney's first historical animation and although it isn't really that accurate it still makes for one heck of a story. Since it's release in 1995 Pocahontas has been re-released in 2005 and set for the theatrical stage.

In case you hadn't guess Pocahontas is a Princess with attitude. She is not one of these Princesses stuck in the tower but is strong, independent and speaks up for herself and the rights of her people. Her character is refreshing when most Princesses you see are softly spoken and waiting for their knight in shining armor; Pocahontas actually saves her knight from death on a couple of occasions.

There are a few characters who add to the light-heartedness of the movie. For example, Percy, Meeko and Flit are always getting into trouble and provide the momentary humor that makes Pocahontas a great film.

Disney have yet again made an unbelievable soundtrack. The songs are brilliant and add interest and depth to the story. The lyrics are easy to keep up with and are suitable for a universal audience.

I can highly recommend Pocahontas as a great Disney movie for kids and adults alike.

Top 10 Father's Day Gifts For Under £10 ($15)

2012-05-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

When Is Father's Day, 2012?

Father's Day is on Sunday 17th June 2012, the third week of June. Now, seeing as this month also holds host to the Queens Diamond Jubilee I can imagine that funds are going to be a bit tight, especially given this economic situation at the moment.

How Can I Get A Great Gift On A Low Budget?

The answer is simple really: shop early and shop smart. Think carefully about what your Dad is like and think if there's anything useful that you can get him, or even better, ask him what he wants. If he's difficult and says he doesn't mind it's the thought that counts then check out these top 10 gifts from Amazon.

Top 10 Gifts From Amazon For Your Daddy

No. 1 - The Outdoor Man

The Multi Tool

Ok, so this one is 35p over budget but it's super cool and is a great update for any Dad who's own multi tool is getting a bit worse for wear.

No. 2 - The Gadget Man

Camera Case

For Dads who love to take photos why not get him a case to protect his camera from knocks and scratches.

No. 3 - The Film Buff

Father's Day (DVD)

If your Dad loves films then he'll love this comedy starring Robin Williams. Billy Crystal and Robin Williams have both been told they're the father to a runaway teenager. The two completely different characters join forces to find the missing teenager to discover who the real father is. This Disney production is based Les Comperes, by Francis Veber but still retains its slapstick comedy and light entertainment.

No. 4 - The Workout Man

York Weight Training Gloves

These are a great addition to your Dad's workout sessions. These gloves will help him grip more and also stop him from getting blisters on his hands.

No. 5 - The New Dad

The Haynes Manual to Babies and Fatherhood

What can I say, being a father is difficult and if you're new to it you're going to need all the help you can get.

No. 6 - The Beer Man

The Pint Glass

For all those Dads who like to relax at the end of the day with a nice pint of beer.

No. 7 - The Sports Fan

Camo Shotgun Cartridge Belt

Shooting is a sport and if you happen to live out in the country or if your Dad has a gun then he would definitely appreciate a new cartridge belt to place his bullets.

No. 8 - The Dapper Man

Eterno 100% Silk Tie

You can't go wrong with a silk tie for a Dapper Dad who always has a need for an extra tie or two.

No. 9 - The Busy Dad

Keep Calm and Carry On

For all you busy Dads out there, don't worry you're doing fine. Just take a deep breath, keep calm and carry on.

No. 19 - The Carefree Dad

Father's Day Box of Treats with Personalized Card

This is a great gift for any Dad who says he doesn't mind what he gets. Everyone loves a bit of chocolate and it is presented in this lovely box that also comes with its own card.

So there you have it, the Top 10 Father's Day gifts for Under £10. Happy shopping!

The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride

2012-05-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

The sequel to The Lion King was released in 1998 and has since been a favorite Disney movie of mine. Unlike the original this movie doesn't really focus on Simba but on his daughter, Kiara, who like her father is good at getting in trouble.

Before we get to the main plot you should know that between these movies Scar has created his own pride, all just as corrupt as he was and his wife Zira is upholding Scar's ideals about the Pride Lands and how the Outlanders (Scar's pride) should be the rightful leaders of the Pride Lands.

The Cast

Simba: Matthew Broderick
Nala: Miora Kelly
Kiara: Neve Campbell
Kovu: Jason Mardsen
Ziara: Suzanne Pleshette
Timone: Nathan Lane
Pumbaa: Ernie Sabella
Rafiki: Robert Guillame
Mufasa: James Earl Jones
Nuka: Andy Dick

Simba's Back: The Plot

Having returned to the Pride Lands to take his rightful place as King, Simba has been busy making a family of his own and now has his own cub, Kiara. However, not is all calm and peaceful as there is a plot for Kovu, a young cub from Scar's pride who was hand-picked by Scar himself to infiltrate Simba's pride and take over Pride Rock.

An interesting twist occurs here as Kovo and Kiara fall in love, helped along by none other than Rafiki the baboon. Kovo soon learns that Simba's pride is no threat to the outlander pride but it is too late for him to warn Simba of the ambush that is waiting for him. Simba manages to escape but is badly hurt and exiles Kovo from his lands.

At this point Kiara is heart broken and runs away from home to find Kovo. While they are running away they realize that only they can end the war between their two prides and they must reach the battle ground before it begins. Only if they can convince the two sides not to fight will both their prides be saved.

The Music

This wouldn't be a Disney movie if we didn't have a song every 5 minutes; the music is just fantastic.

He Lives in You

This is the equivalent to "Circle of Life" and is performed right at the start when Kiara is being presented to the Pride Lands.

We Are One

In this song Kiara learns about the importance of life and how she is more than just an individual. She learns that she is part of the land she lives in and that Simba understands her more than she thinks.

Upendi

Rafiki helps Kiara and Kovu find love during this wonderfully animated song.

One of Us/Deception

This is the song that sends Kovu into exile after the ambush on Simba. It is a very powerful song that gets to me every time.

My Lullaby

This is Ziara's lullaby that she sings to Kovu as the plot to kill Simba begins to form and take action. Ziara sings about what keeps her going during their hardship and what she plans to do to Simba.

Love Will Find a Way

After running away from home Kiara is searching for Kovu. When they reunite the song becomes much more romantic rather than searching as they finally declare their feelings to one another.

Buy the Soundtrack Here:

The Lion King 2 - Simba's Pride Original Soundtrack

Verdict

In my experience with sequels they are normally very disappointing, however, Disney has surprised me yet again with another fantastic movie. All the old characters are there, except Scar (but he's mentioned enough), and some great new ones as well like Kiara and Kovu.

I love the story line and the fact that just like her father, Kiara is the only one who can save Pride Rock from another disaster (Simba was the only one who could save it previously). The plot between Kiara and Kovu is a little like Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, the point being that two members of different houses have fallen in love and it is life threatening to let on that this has happened. The upside to this story though is that the two main characters don't die at the end but join the two prides together and presumably remain happy for the rest of their lives.

As always the music is spot on. The advances in sound and animation make for a drastic and powerful setting to really tug at the heartstrings, especially in pieces such as "One of Us" which moves me every time.

I think Simba's Pride is more suited to a slightly older child as it deals with more complicated emotions such as love, jealousy and hatred and a small child might not quite understand. However, for older kids and adults there is plenty of in-depth and darker plots to be absorbed. I have watched it time and time again and have yet to be bored with it.

If you want to get your own copy of The Lion King II: Simba's Pride I have provided a link to Amazon where they are selling for a very reasonable price.

Yeah...it's alright - Disney

2012-05-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

You know it's a funny thing but you can always taste quality. For me it's like Cadbury chocolate; nothing else quite tastes like it. This isn't just a plug for Cadbury chocolate although it is worth mentioning that it is my favorite brand. Some people might try to convince me that there are better chocolates, chocolates for the more refined palate but I still go back to my beloved Cadbury every time. It's a dear name and with it there comes a certain uniqueness. I might eat some store brand chocolate and it'll taste nice enough. It's good chocolate but it isn't Cadbury and that's the point of today's rant/opinion/view/crazy proselytizing. Disney movies, and particularly Disney animations, have a certain quality that need to be upheld.

I had a dream when I was younger; to become a Disney animator. Now I know nothing of the animation process on that scale but I was young and naïve and actually had a reasonable talent for drawing so I had that going for me. I sat and practiced my art trying to nail the different styles of animation. The Simpsons unique style and, more importantly for me, the style of Disney. I remember gushing with self pride when I finally nailed the Disney technique of the duck's bill and those eggshaped eyes. Soon more skills followed and with each passing year new hope came. I saw Beauty and the Beast (my all time favorite by the way), Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Lion King, Pocahontas, and all the movies of the “Golden Age” come out and each renewed my hope. And then, one day, a dagger was plunged into my heart; Toy Story.

This was something I'd never seen before, a style of animation completely new to me. Foreign, cold, and unfamiliar (Are you a secret cartoon racist? - Ed.). But it was fine. It wasn't all singing all dancing but it was entertaining enough, in fact very entertaining. Still, despite what it said on the posters at the theater, it wasn't Disney though. Disney movies were animated in a more traditional style, they had big song numbers and were major events. Often it would be the case that we wouldn't see a Disney movie in the theater but actually wait six months for the VHS to come out. They were huge. And here was this movie which, despite it's ground breaking new techniques, seemed very small. It's fine I thought, just a glitch like when your favorite rock band releases a lot of poorly chosen electro disco tracks – I'm looking at you Queen, and thankfully more traditional Disney movies returned (Mulan, Hercules, e.t.c. - Oh by the way, I make no claim that any of this is chronological it's just what my eleven year old self is remembering.)

Shrek, Monsters Inc., Shrek 2, Finding Nemo, Toy Story 2, 'Finding Shrek Inc.', Toy Story 3: Attack of the Killer Cars. These are all good movies but they lack that key quality of the show. The Disney formula is simple: Take one traditional folk story/pseudo-historical event; add an Alan Menken musical score; a dash of Disney magic and leave to simmer in the hearts and minds of adults and children alike. The Rescuers was amazing by the way – I preferred The Rescuers 2.

Now for anybody from Disney who might be reading: stop with the pop culture references. They age incredibly badly. Your movies used to have funny moments without having ghetto speak or characters which are outrageous. Also stop with the freaking stupid cuts. You're not making a Scooby Doo cartoon from the 70s. The cast breaking out into song shouldn't be so damned staged. And lastly, GAAAAH!

Lance “Drawn-with-natural-outline-colors” Pawman

Click Here! for information on getting a cheaper holiday to Disney Land.

Posters for Sale

2012-05-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

Find your favorite posters at Allposters.com

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame

2012-05-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

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If you haven't seen this movie, for starters where have you been and have you been under a rock? This epic movie was created by the directors of Beauty and the Beast, Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale, in 1996 and has been a best seller including awards such a the BMI Film Music Award and the Artois Award for Best Casting of Animated Voiceover to name a few.

Here's a little trailer to start you off:

Characters

Let's start with the awesome cast who did such a fantastic job of pumping energy and spirit into this film to make a classic that will last forever.

Quasimodo - the hunchback voiced by Tom Hulce
Esmeralda - dancing Gypsy voiced by Demi Moore
Jolly - the kid goat
Phoebus - captain of the guard voiced by Kevin Kline
Frollo - minister voiced by Tony Jay
Clopin - jester and Gypsy leader voiced by Paul Kandel

Plot

For their 34th movie Disney took Victor Hugo's classical novel and turned it into an amazing animated film. Set in 17th-century France, Clopin (the jester and leader of the Gypsies) tells us the tale of Quasimodo a hunchback bellringer of Notre Dame who is ridiculed and tortured because his appearance is different. Not only is this abuse given by the townsfolk but also from his corrupt Master Frollo who believes he is pure and righteous in his ways but actually a twisted old minister.

Quasimodo is enthralled at the idea of going to the Feast of Fools and sneaks out of his sanctuary of the cathedral only to be accepted then shot down for his appearance. However, the Gypsy dancer Esmeralda takes pity on this creature and frees him from his bonds. Outraged by her actions and stunned by her looks, Frollo sets out to either take Esmeralda for his own or to have her burn at the stake.

We continue to see the burning of Paris as Frollo hunts for Esmeralda and once caught only Quasimodo can save her from Frollo's fire. But before he can do so Quasimodo has his inner daemons to fight: has Frollo been right all along and Esmeralda is a witch or should he save her life because she is kind and values all life? Only when he has won this battle can he save Esmeralda and her people.

Verdict

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is another fantastic movie by Disney that has all of my favorite elements in: singing, dancing, secrets, fighting and romance. Disney seem to have this perfect formula that works in any setting - it is not the story line that makes these movies great but the characters that enact it.

The Hunchback starts in a Disney traditional fashion with an epic opening number setting the scene for 17th-century France, almost like the setting for Beauty and the Beast but with deeper themes on a larger scale.

This particular movie is more like a musical than any of the others. I would say that the majority of the story telling is done through song and only when you get to the darker parts of the plot, especially with scenes of Quasimodo and Frollo do you get speech only. This is why this it is one of my favorite movies, the choir backing and epic musical numbers cannot be out done, not even by Belle from Beauty and the Beast. The singing in this movie is just wonderful and sends shivers up my spine along with goose bumps at every song.

The overall theme for The Hunchback is that of tolerance and acceptance which is important for young children to learn. It also talks of friendship, being right and true and respecting others and the laws and customs of the land. Without these guidelines humanity would cease to function smoothly and end up like the end of this movie: city on fire with every person for them self.

Although this movie is Universal (U) it still has some fairly heavy topics that some younger children might not understand just yet - you have been warned for the Q&A session after, or even during, the movie.

I would definitely recommend this movie to every single Disney lover, which should be everyone by my records. Even if you don't like Disney you should watch this film anyway just for the plot and character interaction. If you want to buy the film click on the first link, if it's Victor Hugo's book you want click on the second.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame [DVD] [1996]
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Wordsworth Classics)

The Lion King

2012-05-13T07:38:00.001-07:00

Yet another timeless classic from Disney and also one of my favorites. This 87 minute movie was released in 1994 and has since been performed on the stage and re-released in 3D animation.

Cast

King Mufasa (Lion) - James Earl Jones

Adult Simba (Lion) - Matthew Broderick

Cub Simba (Lion) - Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Scar (Lion) - Jeremy Irons

Sarabi (Lioness) - Madge Sinclair

Cub Nala (Lioness) - Niketa Calame

Adult Nala (Lioness) - Moira Kelly

Rafiki (Mandrill) - Robert Guillame

Zazu (Hornbill) - Rowan Atkinson

Timon (Meerkat) - Nathan Lane

Pumbaa (Warthog) - Ernie Sabella

Senzi (Hyena) - Whoopi Goldberg

Banzai (Hyena) - Cheech Marin

Ed (Hyena) - Jim Cummings

Plot

On the African planes there exists a pride of lions headed by a might lion known as King Mufasa and his wife Sarabi. His kingdom is known as the Pride Lands and there is a celebration occurring as we sweep over his kingdom: the young cub Simba is presented as future King to all the land.

As with many young characters they often have difficulty in accepting responsibility as they merge into adulthood and will always be getting into some form of trouble. Simba's evil Uncle, Scar, takes this into account as he plans to kill Mufasa and take over the throne. A well planned 'accident' kills Mufasa and forces Simba into exile while Scar and his pack of hyenas take over Pride Rock.

Wandering in the Savannah the young cub meets Timon and Pumba. The unlikely duo take him in and teach him the ways of the jungle. Through the montage of 'Hakuna Matata' we see Simba growing into an adult lion. Timon and Pumba are the 'life of the party' and keep the story's emotional level up as they tell their jokes even at the most inappropriate times. With Timon and Pumba you will always have a laugh and momentarily forget the evilness and heartache of the previous couple of minutes.

Meanwhile Scar and the hyenas have turned the Pride Lands into a deserted wasteland, the animals have moved on and there is little water. This has caused Nala (Simba's best-friend from Pride Rock) to hunt outside the Kingdom. Nala finds Simba in the jungle (after trying to eat Pumba) and tries to convince him that he should return home as the rightful King. However, Simba is still running from his past and is convinced that the others would not accept him.

Rafiki (an old family friend and King's counsel) follows Nala and eventually convinces Simba that he cannot change the past and that he must take his place as King in the circle of life. Returning home Simba is heart broken by what he sees and immediately challenges Scar as rightful heir. Will Simba convince Scar to step down and allow him to take the throne? It all depends on the outcome of the final battle of Pride Rock.

The final battle is an awesome clash between lion and hyena. The music increases the intensity of the battle and the animation illuminates the bloody battelfield as well as portraying the fear and anger of each side as they fight for the place of Pride Rock.

Verdict

I absolutely love the old Disney movies and The Lion King is no exception. It has everything a great movie needs: romance, horror, action, adventure, suspense, humor, and let us not for get the musical elements. The animation is fantastic and was the best when it was released and is easily adapted for the stage and has had some amazing reviews in that medium.

Disney has again provided an amazing series of songs and soundtracks. They never fail to provide the right music to really set off the scene. For example, one of my favorite scenes is when Nala and Simba are rekindling their friendship and find love instead. This heart-touching scene is accompanied by 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight', it expresses Nala and Simba's love yet at the same time Timon and Pumba's concern that their friend will leave them. Disney never ceased to amaze me with their music, the fact that they can have multiple conversations in any given song reminds of opera but for family animation.

On the flip side, one of my favorite "evil" songs is Scar's 'Be Prepared'. Here he is talking about how he feels as an 'outcast' in the family and his evil plans to take over Pride Rock. The music is angry, low, and dark to simulate his words and the animation is almost like a general talking to his troops before battle (with hyenas as his troops).

The Lion King will have you laughing, gripping the edge of your seat and crying into your pillow every time you watch it. Disney has once again plugged an amazing story into its unique formula and created yet another masterpiece.

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The Power of Five: Necropolis, Anthony Horowitz

2012-05-04T15:43:00.001-07:00

I'm not normally a fan of horror stories but as this series goes I must say I am a fan. Anthony Horowitz's Necropolis is the fourth book of the Power of Five series and introduces the fifth and final gatekeeper Scarlet Adams, also known as Scar. Up till now the series has introduced the four other gatekeepers, Matt (and Richard his best friend), Pedro, Jamie and Scott (the twins), and their plans to destroy 'The Old Ones' (evil beings who wish to destroy the human race).

Plot

Necropolis begins with Scarlet Adams being a normal school girl in England who manages to get herself caught up in a media storm due to her short disappearance during a school trip. Unbeknown to the rest of the world Scarlet discovers she is a gatekeeper but does not really understand why there is a secret organisation (Nightrise) out to get her. All she knows at this point is that she must try and find the four boys - one whom she knows as Matt - who only show up in her dreams.

Because of Scarlet's media coverage The Old Ones locate her and in turn lure her into Hong Kong as it begins to turn into the necropolis (the dead city). However, once you're in Hong Kong there's no way out and this starts to become a problem as death walks the streets.

The Old Ones know that the other gatekeepers will follow Scarlet and this is their chance to capture them so that the gatekeepers will be out of the way during the world domination. Once in Hong Kong Matt is captured by The Old Ones and put in cell with Scarlet, however there is a plan: they must reach a secret door - that only the gatekeepers can use - in a nearby temple to get out of Hong Kong. In order to escape Scarlet must discover what her special ability is (just like the boys have done) to keep herself and the other gatekeepers alive but it may already be too late.

Opinion

Seeing as I haven't read the previous books I found getting into the story incredibly easy. Horowitz covers the previous books at the start as a refresher, or in my case some background information, which is great for filling in the gaps as you go.

As for the story itself it is brilliant, I really got into the plot and the characters. Reading about familiar landmarks, such as the London Eye, and knowing that it 'happened' in the last decade really hits home and gives it a unique set of characteristics that I haven't found in other books.

I love how Horowitz's writing style just flows through the page and he can easily conjure up vivid images of the characters and settings. The chapters are broken down into manageable slots and are interspersed with excerpts from Matt's diary, which again gives it that extra real feeling.

Necropolis is a fast paced book that will literally keep you on the edge of your seat, recoiling from the pages and engaged for hours on end. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a mixture of reality thrown in with fantasy and horror.

STAR WARS: Knights of the Old Republic 2

2012-04-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you that have read my review of Jedi Knight Academy you will be aware of the deep love I hold for the Star Wars universe and so it was with delight that I spent the better part of a week playing Knights of the Old Republic 2 over and over again. I had been given it as a birthday present some years ago but had never actually got round to playing it until recently. I had tried to play it previously after getting to a stage which I thought was quite far into the game (it wasn't) and having my save file corrupt I lost all interest in continuing it. I had other more pressing things to do...okay I was sulking but this brings up a very valid concern with KOTOR2; it is bug-tacular.

Of many of the bugs, and we shall be going into them, the most annoying by far is one that forces you stop moving after you have made an attack, the only fix for which is to save and reload the game. The odd thing is that this bug only seems to occur after an hour or so's worth of playing. Maybe this was the developer's way of saying “I think that's enough, you still haven't fed your cat.” Well screw you Tiddles I have sith to defeat but I can't tell you how many times I've died whilst trying to lure away enemies from the main group so I can fight them individually only to find that my character must have equipped her fast-setting-concrete-soled boots again. One particularly annoying bug, which happened to me whilst doing the Nar Shadda quests, was that I sank through the ground. It was as if I had the noclip feature on but this was easily rectified by a reload of the game. On that subject you often get useful in game hints during the loading screens. Imagine how my alarm sirens went off this time round when I read “You should save often and in different files” or words to that effect. I, in my naivety thought that this was just due to the game being difficult. Nope. In order to safeguard against possible file corruptions I found that I had to have a rotating five save file system. So the question becomes why, when Obsidian knew this game was so buggy, did they decide to release it. The answer is simple, the story.

*Part II will be coming up*

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Predators (2010) [4/5]

2012-04-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

Movie Details

Suitable for age 15+
Release July 2010 (UK)
Length: 107 minutes
Action, Adventure, Sci-fi
20th Century Fox Production
Available in English, Spanish and Russian
Producer: Robert Rodriguez
Director Nimrod Antal

Characters/Cast

Adrien Brody - 'Royce'
Alice Braga - 'Isabelle'
Topher Grace - 'Edwin'
Laurence Fishburne - 'Noland'
Walton Goggins - 'Stans'
Oleg Taktarov - 'Nikolai'
Louis Ozawa Changchien - 'Hanzo'
Mahershalalhashbaz Ali - 'Mombasa'

Plot

A group of 7 hardened criminals, soldiers, mercenaries and one doctor awaken mid-air with a parachute to find that they are being dropped into a jungle. One by one they land and initially try and kill each other, however they soon realize that they are not on Earth anymore and are being hunted by an unseen enemy.

The group is led by the mercenary Royce and he soon discovers that they are being hunted by the Predators for sport. Royce quickly turns that around and the Predators become the hunted as it is the group's only means of survival.

It soon becomes clear that the Predators adapt very quickly to the human's strategies so it almost becomes a guessing game as to who will die next and who will be alive at the end. There are plenty of plot twists though to keep you guessing and entertained. As the plot unravels we soon discover what each character is capable of in their struggle for survival, especially when they meet Noland who is a crazed man who has so far escaped the Predator's grasp for many seasons.

One by one the characters are picked off and it soon becomes apparent that the doctor, Edwin, is actually a sociopath who feels at home with the 'other monsters'. An epic final battle between 2 Predators, Royce and Isabelle occurs in the middle of the night with dawn bringing victory to the humans. However, that was only for this season as in the background more crates are dropped in.

Summary

Although I cannot compare this to the Arnold Schwarzenegger predecessor I found this to be a very entertaining movies just based on its own merits. The plot was easy to follow yet full on intricate twists and turns so that it doesn't become too predictable. The fight scenes have a great build up on tension which is augmented by the epic special effects! The camouflage on the Predator's armor and the Predator's view through their helmets was brilliant.

I really enjoyed this movie and would recommend it. It compliments and pays homage the other movies in the sequel yet provides us with new entertainment - go watch it and try not to jump too much.

Predators [DVD ]

The Spine of the World by R. A. Salvatore

2012-04-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

"The barbarian Wulfgar set upon a dangerous path toward redemption when an old friend finds him in the city of Luskan. Wulfgar's journey twists up the windswept peaks of the Spine of the World. He will persevere, for at the end lies his most prized possession - the life he thought he'd lost forever."

Product Description:

Author: R. A Salvatore
Publisher: Wizards of the Coast
Type: Novel
Binding: Hardcover/Mass Market Paperback
Released: January 1998 (hardcover), June 2000 (paperback)
Pages: 345 (hardcover), 381 (paperback)
ISBN: 0-7869-1180-8 / 0-7869-1404-1

Characters

Spine of the World is the second book in the series of 'Path of Darkness'. This particular episode develops two characters, Wulfgar and Morik, that appeared in the previous book, The Silent Blade. The story follows Wulfgar and Morik as they get themselves into trouble time and time again but eventually finding redemption in small town, Auckney, with the least likely pairing of a Lord and a peasant: Lord Feringal Auck and Meralda Ganderlay.

We are introduced to Wulfgar - a 7ft blonde barbarian - as a tormented soul trying to readjust to the world having escaped the most horrific torture of the daemoness Errtu. He was imprisoned for the past 6 years and we are given glimpses of his traumatic pastime. Having escaped, Wulfgar came to Luskan and was offered work as a bouncer in Arumn's tavern.

Meet Morik the Rogue who resides in Luskan. As you would expect Morik is always in trouble with the guards and higher authority and yet completely respected by the underground scene and other petty criminals that sulk the back streets of Luskan. Morik is approached by a Drow (a dark elf) and is 'requested' to watch over Wulfgar, he does not know the purpose of this job but it was made clear by the Drow that his life would depend on it. He does as was requested and has befriended Wulfgar and follows him to the very end.

Lord Feringal Auck is a stuck up young man who has been over-shadowed and 'protected' by his older sister. When we meet Feringal he is not acting Lord as he is too young and has yet to take a wife, but this is where Meralda comes in. She is peasant girl with a sick mother who's eye is caught by the young Lord - he must have her.

Plot

Each chapter is dedicated to each set of characters and alternates with their progressive plots in Part One and Two of the story. We begin with meeting Wulfgar and Morik and watching as Wulfgar's drinking problem causes him to lose his job (and his magical axe). In search for his axe Wulfgar meets an old friend, Deudermont, Captain of Sea Sprite. More trouble comes their way as they get caught up and wrongly accused of an underground conspiracy to kill the Captain. Of course the Captain knew that Wulfgar wouldn't kill him (he's not sure about the rogue) and pardons him just before his execution. The two are now banished from Luskan and set out to become highwaymen.

Meanwhile we are introduced to Meralda Ganderlay, her life and family, and her rite of passage to becoming a women (with a twist, it's not what you would expect). Meralda is a peasant who work in the fields of her town. Walking home one day Feringal's carriage rolls by and he is in love at first sight. His sister tries to talk him out of it but he must know more about this beautiful peasant girl. Feringal isn't the only one trying to get Meralda's attention. Jaka Suli, her sweetheart, is suddenly jealous of the Lord's attention and steps up his game but this turns disastrous for them.

Over the coming weeks Feringal courts Meralda and asks her to marry him. Meralda's father insists that she marries Feringal even though it is against all of her heart's desires. Meralda knows what she must do to save her dying mother and bring her family out of poverty, however she wants one final night with her sweetheart, Jaka. This desire back fires on her though as she has become pregnant. She manages to keep the babe hidden for a month before suspicions arise in the castle. Torn between her family and her desires Meralda explores her options but finds that Jaka is still just a boy in her mind and that it is lust that drives him, not love. Resolved that her only option left is to be with Feringal she agrees to marry him yet is desperately trying to find a solution for the babe growing in her.

At this point the two set of characters begin to meet and their lives begin to entwine during Parts Three and Four. Meralda is on her way to have her wedding dress fitted but they are stopped by two highwaymen: Wulfgar and Morik. Shaken up by the incident Meralda has an idea; she claims she was ravished by the hugh barbarian, this way she is not to blame for her pregnancy and does not risk her marriage. Outraged Feringal searches the nearby caves for them all the while Meralda is begging him not to and that she wants to leave it all behind her. Unfortunately, Wulfgar is caught and once again imprisoned for a crime he did not commit. Torn up by guilt Meralda sets him free.

Again, Feringal is outraged that his prisoner has escaped but this time submits to his wife's wishes. However, by this time the babe is born and the suspicions are even greater as a full term babe is supposedly born prematurely. Meralda tries to explain the size of the barbarian but fails so her life and the babe's are now at risk. Meanwhile, Wulfgar - with the help of Morik - realizes why he was imprisoned and is resolved that no more lives will be lost. He has realized that he can either stay in the past and drinking to hide his horrific ordeal or he can except what has happened, stop drinking and move towards a new life. They charge back into the castle and claim that the babe is Wulfgar's and that he will take the babe and raise it, leaving Meralda to build her life in the castle with her family. After a brawl trying to get the babe and the shock that Meralda was 'telling the truth' the barbarin and rogue are given supplies and they head back on the road. By saving the babe Wulfgar is well on his way to a life of redemption.

By this time is seems that Morik has had enough and wants to head back to Luskan. Making a new identity for himself he settles back into life as a Luskan rogue, only showing his true identity to those necessary. After a year Morik gets an unpleasant surprise and is taken to the Drow. It turns out that Wulfgar was wanted to be the Drow's representative in Luskan but due to the circumstances (which aren't Morik's fault) the job is now given to Morik. Given the opportunity to make an enormous amount of money Morik takes the job without second question.

Meanwhile, disguised as a priest, Wulfgar sneaks back into Luskan to apologize to Armun for destroying his tavern. He then heads off to Waterdeep with the babe in search of the Captain so that he can retrieve his magical axe - it was taken by a pirate and the Captain is a pirate hunter.

As for Lord and Lady Feringal, all is forgiven and they go about their happy lives ruling the town.

Conclusion

Overall I would say this is a very good book. It has unexpected twists and turns but Salvatore wraps everything up nicely right at the end. We discover that Wulfgar is truly on a path to redemption right at the end after he has pushed past the emotional barriers that kept him tethered to his horrific past.

In the beginning it was difficult to understand why there were two sets of characters (Wulfgar and Morik vs Meralda and Feringal), but, as mentioned before, about 3/4 of the way in the connection is made and the title makes sense. There are references to the Spine of the World (it's a dangerous trading path where the weather can be treacherous); Lord Auck (Feringal) resides close by and Wulfgar had travelled through there previously as his home land is just past there.

Previous characters are mentioned in the book such as Bruenor (Wulfgar's adopted Dwarf father) but the most renowned character is Drizzt. Salvatore uses what seem to be personal letters or memoirs written by Drizzt to add a personal touch to Wulfgar's redemption and past history. Drizzt will often question what Wulfgar was becoming when he knew him (before Errtu) and references the man Wulfgar used to be. Clearly the torture inflicted upon Wulfgar was enough to almost turn him mad.

Salvatore is an excellent writer, he uses brilliant imagery and is highly descriptive allowing the reader to become lost in the story with vivid pictures racing through their mind. I thoroughly enjoyed the book even when I was questioning the plot - it does make you think about the details and intricacies a lot more and gives an enormous dose of satisfaction when the plot becomes whole.

I would certainly recommend this book to anyone who loves the Forgotten Realms entertainment, loves fantasy or if you're just looking for a good book.

Free Fitness Tools

2012-04-10T04:10:00.001-07:00

Here's another bunch of free stuff for you so you can get some fitness in your lives!

Helpful Links:

Fitness tips and ideas
Dailyburn, a free fitness and nutrition tracker (the link will take you to a description then you can go on from there)
BodyRock.tv offers 12 minute interval workouts that you can do in your own home for free
P90X2 Boot Camp, Carey offers an entire series of workouts in a boot camp style that will help you prepare for P90X2 (more on that later) and will get you incredibly fit. Be warned it is extreme!
BMI calculator this is a tool you can use to check if you are a healthy weight, of course if you are a body builder or have a high level of muscle then this isn't the best tool for you.
Body fat calculator this is a better measure of health. Here are the categories as well:

Classification Women (% fat) Men (%fat)

Essential Fat 10-12% 2-4%

Athletes 14-20% 6-13%

Fitness 21-24% 14-17%

Acceptable 25-31% 18-25%

Obese 32%+ 25%+

Have fun and don't blame me if you are sore in the morning!

Lance Pawman

Beastslayer: A Gotrek and Felix Novel by William King

2012-04-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

"Storm clouds gather around the icy city of Praag as the foul hordes of Chaos lay ruinous seige to northern lands of Kislev. Only Gotrek Gurnisson, a death-seeking dwarf Slayer, and his sworn human companion, Felix Jaeger, stand between the ancient cit and the forces of Darkness."

Product Details:

Pages: 288

Publisher: Games Workshop (February 27, 2001)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0743411617

ISBN-13: 978-0743411615

Product Dimensions: 6.9x4.3x0.7 inches

Characters and the Plot:

Beastslayer: A Gotrek and Felix Novel by William King is the fifth book in the series. Although I haven't read the other books prior to this one I can definitely say that this book stands alone very well - I literally couldn't put it down and I look forward to reading the others in the series.

Gotrek and Felix are an unlikely couple of characters. Gotrek is a seeks an honorable death to atone for his unknown sins and Felix is bound to him by a Dwarven blood-oath - after a nasty night of binge drinking and an incident with some knights - and set to the task of recording their mighty battles and Gotrek's glorious death.

In this particular battle Gotrek and Felix have travelled to the city of Praag to aid them in the oncoming clash with a chaos horde led by the warlord Atrek Daemonclaw. Once the chaos horde are outside the city there begins a never ending onslaught to the city ranging from summoned daemons that occupy huge siege towers to beastmen and tribesmen hurling themselves at the enchanted outer walls. However, they are not safe on the inside either, there is treachery brewing led by a high ranking official and his underground allies.

Just when it seems that all is lost messengers have reached Ivan Petrovich Straghov and the Ice Queen. The Ice Queen summons her armies against the chaos horde and organize an attack from the rear. Meanwhile a flank attack is also accomplished by the Grey Seer Thanquol - an enemy of Gotrek and Felix's - while he is investigating the surplus dark magic that is present in winds of magic of the battle. These two attacks, along with an airship attack - give Praag the edge that they need to win the battle.

This particular book gives us an in-depth look at what makes a Slayer. King explores Gotrek's background and we begin to see why the Slayers of the Dwarven race seek such glorious deaths. More Slayers such as Snorri and Ulli are introduced throughout the book which adds to the complex concept of Dwaven lifestyle.

The triangle of Max (a sorcerer who needs to find his confidence), Ulrika (a noble woman related to the Duke of Praag) and Felix gets some particular attention as well. It seems that with the stresses of the battle Felix and Ulrika's relationship begins to fail and she strikes up a deepening friendship with Max.

For any Warhammer fan King depicts a terrifying scene of what a chaos army of this magnitude is capable of. The sorcerers are capable of tremendous power and the army is in a blood-lust frenzy begging to advance not caring whether they live or die, either way it will please their gods.

My Verdict?

I loved this book right from the start, it kept me captivated and I couldn't put it down. King's style of writing is easy to follow yet he is able to conjure an incredible scene from very few words. I would highly recommend the series to any warhammer or dark fantasyfan looking for a straight forward book with gruesome imagery and subtle twists.

Lance 'Slayer' Pawman

"Blood for the Blood God!", or "Do you think I could find a purse to go with this mithril plate?"

2012-04-08T14:30:00.001-07:00

Warhammer: Mark of Chaos (2/5)

Mark of Chaos is a game which, frankly speaking, would have initiated a meltdown in my computer but for a few brief upgrades ago. It's certainly a very pretty game (judging by the standards of the day) and seemed to have the kind of game mechanics which led on nicely from Warhammer 40000: Dawn of War. Therefore it was with some delight that I pushed my CD drive closed, put on my spiked helmet and summoned a boar's leg and flagon of mead from the nearest wench - the divorce proceedings are still pending.

It had been some time since I could trump up the money to play Warhammer (the table top fantasy game) and so I was looking forward to an opportunity to command an army once again. How delighted I was to discover that there was none of the normal tedious resource collection so common in most RTS titles (Why exactly do I need 1000 sheep to build a small hut?) and that I was simply to be in command of an army with which I would conquer or save the Old World as I so chose. This was to be a revamped version of Dark Omen then, a game with which I had spent many hours. Dark Omen of course, for those of us old enough to remember it, was what is known technically in video gaming circles as "bloody difficult" and a liberal amount of cheating was to be expected. Not with Mark of Chaos however, I would prove myself worthy of the dark gods by not playing around with the console commands.

The single player campaign sees you choosing to either fight for the Emperor of Men or as an aspiring champion of Chaos and being the thorough games reviewer that I am I naturally played both campaigns so that I could give a balanced report. A decision which was completely unrelated with missing a weekend at my in-laws, which naturally I regret (Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit - Ed.). In the empire campaign you play Captain Heinz von Germanmeyer, or something like that anyway, the son of a deposed elector Count proving his worth despite being tainted with facial scarring. A Mark of Chaos you may say. You spend the game hurtling up and down the Old World taking part in sieges and pitched battles, accompanying Elves, to hinder the progress of an aspiring Champion of Chaos. The Chaos campaign is exactly the reverse as you try summon and unite chaos tribes to conquer the world of men. That's it, no great deviations, the unknown plots in either campaign are cleared up by playing the other.

This is where we get to the heart of the game however. The gameplay feels more like a set of scenarios (sieges, pitched battles, capture the flag) which are merely repeated with different armies at different times and it is sometimes difficult to keep track of the smaller story lines. The tension between elf leaders, the Captain's quest for redemption all seem to have been shoehorned in at the last minute as the whole of the game is given over to the simple concept of kill the other guy. Killing the other guy is not particularly difficult provided you incorporate a little tactical sense: horses don't like being up on barricade walls and sending lightly armored archers charging at hordes of heavily plated evil knights will not end well for you. However the real crime is that the game offers the player so much variety for their army but it is variety which is never needed to be taken. Once I had kitted out my cavalry, ranged weapons, and spearmen with the greatest possible upgrades I didn't really need to make use of the more exotic options and the woeful magic system meant that using mages for anything other than squad bonuses was wasted. At this is the real reason that Mark of Chaos gets such a mediocre review. Unlike the tabletop version, this digital rendering simply doesn't capture the spirit of greasy unwashed nerds pitching fake battle as well as it potentially could.

Lance "Horned Rat" Pawman

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