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Just For U SHRIJANA...

2011-09-08T16:48:00.005+05:30

lonely lets me be

for a while, she sets me free
i close my eyes; and I dream of hershe's lost in my arms; her head on my heart

then softly, she whispers the words...

"i just love you. I don't know why; I just do...when are you comin' home?"

I'm comin' home soon; and I, I just love you, too...
i don't know why; I just do...

You will be always remem...

2010-12-07T22:31:00.004+05:30

If Tomorrow I die & don't get a chance again to say How Much I Love You. Just always remember, that once I was yours & once you were mine.. How Far We Go From Each Other itz never going to be matter..Because i know you are always here inside my heart forever. Deep In My Heart,Somwhere, Everytym You will be always remem... :(

How fast..!

2010-12-03T04:00:00.001+05:30

it's amazing how fast this week passed by.

Name!

2010-10-13T11:27:00.000+05:30

Hi. Wat iz ur name..?

right now is good

2010-09-26T05:30:00.005+05:30

Life is good, as it seems. Things aren't perfect, that's for sure. But I'm starting to realize that I will never feel completely content. There will always be something that is gnawing at me, constantly begging for my attention. However, the general big picture points to a happy life for me right now. I'm not entirely stable romantically, but the happiness factor is there. So that's really all I can ask for, right? Maybe it won't last that long, but right now is good. =)

its already sept 25..

2010-09-25T23:49:00.002+05:30

Loading........

2010-09-24T09:56:00.002+05:30

Shakespeare on love

2010-09-23T05:30:00.000+05:30

“Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.” - Shakespeare

life

2010-09-22T05:30:00.000+05:30

2010-09-21T05:30:00.000+05:30

"happiness is the secret to all beauty. there is no beauty that is attractive without happiness." - christian dior.

you laugh until you cry - you cry until you laugh.

2010-09-20T05:30:00.001+05:30

and everyone must breathe until their dying breath.
and this is how it works - you appear inside yourself
you take the things you like and try to love the things you took
and you take that love you made and stick it into some -
someone else's heart pumping someone else's blood.

missing...

2010-09-19T22:38:00.000+05:30

I miss the way you used to make me smile without any thought - instead of the way you make me half-way cry now.

that's all.

I'm really quite happy, I promise. I just miss that.

zero below

2010-09-18T05:30:00.006+05:30

habits..

2010-09-17T05:30:00.001+05:30

oh! it's so hard to wean(disengage) off a habit

it's my turn

2010-09-16T08:48:00.004+05:30

So here I am, feeling all gooey and confused again. It's not that I'm not happy - I just wish that everyone else was happy WITH me. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but I feel like just being myself is too painful for some others. I feel like it's hard for me to deal with my own pain because it leads me to hurting others.

And I don't want to hurt anyone. God, I really hate it. I feel bad 90% of the time, so actually hurting people is the worst feeling in the world to me.

I'm TRYING to grow. I'm TRYING to be an adult and to be strong and to be the man I always wanted to be. I want to be an artist - I want to be strong, more than anything else. I want to be brave enough to really be myself.

I just don't know who that makes me - And I'm tired of trying to be what people need me to be. Not that anyone is hurting me anymore, but I just want to make everyone happy. I wish I could, I really do, but I can't. I can't be something that I'm not, as much as I try. I'm not trying to be mean, or hateful, I'm just trying to be brave and face the world for what it is and for who I am. I'm tired of hurting people by just being myself. I constantly feel like my feelings make me not good enough for anyone anymore. I'm sorry. I really, truly am. I wish I could be everything that everyone needed. I really do.

I just feel like I can't remember feeling like I was indestructable. I just don't know how to get over it. It's not Her that I want back or anything about it. It's just that I want to feel like I could just give myself over to someone. I want to feel like love is something I could feel for someone again. I'm not sure. I'm waiting for someone to come along who doesn't expect anything of me. I am waiting for it to be right. Maybe that's asking too much, but I feel like maybe that's better than trying and trying and trying to make something work when a part of me is fundamentally not able to invest myself into the situation.

I just feel like I can't feel anything for anyone anymore. Sure, I've had crushes and I've had kisses, but I feel like I don't even know that if any of them had worked out if I wouldn't have had the fight or flight instinct and I would have shut down emotionally or run.. but I guess I'll never be able to know.

Who knows? Maybe someone will come along and change it. I'd really like that, actually. But until then, I love my friends and I am just going to keep trucking along, single and everything.

I'm worried I won't have enough money to pay for presents.

all in all though, life is pretty awesome. I feel like I *** on my blog too much.

don't know just where I'm going

and tomorrow is a little overwhelming

and the air is cold

and I'm not the same anymore.

I've been running in your direction

for too long now - I've lost my own reflection

and I can't look down -

you're not there to catch me when I fall

this is the moment

I stand here on my own

and this is my right of passage

that somehow leads me home

I might be afraid but it's my turn to be brave.

if this is the last chance before we say goodbye,

at least it's the first day of the rest of my life

I can't be afraid, cause it's my turn to be brave.

scratching

2010-09-15T05:30:00.000+05:30

........... is one of the life's simplest pleasure !
:-)

isnt love selfish?

2010-09-14T05:30:00.000+05:30

how many of us ever enter a relationship for the other party? how many of us can say that we do things for our partners without the element of self?
i do this for him. i do this for her. i do this for us... underlying all these isnt there a big invisible. i am doing all these for myself ,for my own ego , for my own satisfaction, for my own benefits, for my own happines.. even the simple act of buying flowers. i buy flowers for my partner because it makes her happy. and when she is happy , i am happy.
hmmmmm.... no?

think abt it...

think abt it deeply...

awake

2010-09-13T05:30:00.001+05:30

eyes wide open

sighs.....

Backache..

2010-09-12T05:30:00.000+05:30

aiyoh.... it's been a week, yet my backache has not recover.... got it after..(wat? i dont know- may be its due to weather change). and its been hurting since and today,
i sprained it again. hmmm, think i should pay the Mr. ...(dr.) a visit.

stupid?

2010-09-11T05:30:00.000+05:30

for the longest time i have been a highly disciplined person. one who's values and priorities are totally aligned to my organisation. and sometimes, i wonder if, in doing so, iam just plain stupid...
.

u're in the Q

2010-09-10T09:11:00.001+05:30

Life sucks when someone u are madly in love with tells u that u are in the queue and that s/he cannot commit as s/he feels bad for the other (few) who was before u... wat the %$%&*^(*%*& rite? move on, move on... life's
too short to queue.

not so strong n brave afterall..

2010-09-09T17:32:00.001+05:30

Realized that with all the dynamics currently going on in my life, I am afterall not so strong, despite telling myself I need to pick myself up from all my work and personal issues.

It is now 2am and I am still awake tossing and turning, thinking of own,thinking of
what's gonna happen in future, thinking of problems, thinking of solutions ,etc..
. it seems like, i have been crying and slipping into bouts of depression.(i am not well these days)

Been suffering from sleepless nights
headache
light fever

What does all these mean?

Life can be so overwhelming when everything happens at the same time.

Sometimes, it feels so right to just end everything all at once.

apologies

2010-09-09T17:15:00.004+05:30

guess i have been too much. may be i shouldn't have done what i did

moment of folly

moment of impulse

apologies

from the bottom of my heart.

doubt

2010-09-07T05:48:00.002+05:30

i constantly doubt myself. the only person who doesn't seem to believe in me is..
me.

pass or fail.. life will go on.
there are far worse things in life than failing an exam, some people don't have homes.

so sad...

2010-09-06T17:27:00.001+05:30

it's not easy to have a constructive discussion. when whatever you say, people suspect you want to harm them or steal work from them.
they always start their sentence with a "no" ,or "it's not my.." etc... the next thing you know,
they quote who's who has cleared this or that, or had endorsed it. like as though i am afraid and then they sent you an email asking you not to misunderstand them la la la... and they would cc the mail to everyone up there.
i wonder how people can live with the constant stress of such fears.
so sad right??